


Love This Pain

by TwilightCakes



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-19
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-14 16:16:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 309,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightCakes/pseuds/TwilightCakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth Clearwater is a 27 year old police officer and werewolf extraordinaire in Forks, just biding his time while he waits to find his imprint. Regan is not at all what he expected, but he is determined to win her over & show that they're meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue : Waiting

Seth

I think I was technically about twenty four when I stopped looking for my imprint. Or was it twenty five? I could never be too sure really. As it was I had trouble remembering how old I really was after lying about it for so many years. I'm not sure how we wolves thought we'd get away with that whole 'No really, we age, we just have good genes' fib. It worked on the rez, but that was about the only place. The people in La Push knew that something wasn't quite right with a few of us, but they had all heard the legends. They pretty much kept their mouths shut and didn't ask many questions.

I couldn't remember how old I was most of the time, much less how old I was when I gave up and stopped looking for her. Waiting for her… Pining for her…

After over a decade as a wolf, I just figured that it wasn't gonna happen to me.

I would get over it…eventually. Most of the guys thought of 'The Big I', or imprinting, as an added perk to the otherwise sucky lifestyle of being a member of the pack. However, I really didn't mind being a member of the pack. In fact, I had always liked it. I could see into the minds of my brothers, and those who hadn't imprinted and who weren't like me – a general optimist – were more likely to grumble about patrols or wish to retire quickly. But not me. Just because I was a wolf I didn't let it run my whole life. I had done the college thing, albeit community college since I couldn't really go far with my pack responsibilities, but had graduated just the same. Honestly, I hadn't really wanted to go far or do much other than be a wolf.

Like I said, most of us looked forward to imprinting because we had seen into the minds of those who had done it and well…it looked really cool. How could it not be? Those happy bastards rarely knew what hit them. Why wouldn't we want to have something like that in our lives? It was something to look forward to; something to make a sometimes bleak existence as a furry animal that patrolled for monsters worthwhile. Take one of my best friends, Quil Ateara for example. Looking into his mind for the first seven years of his imprint Claire's life had been like watching Sesame Street while stoned. Everything was funny, light, and nothing ever really bothered him.

This was Quil's mindset:

Lost his job because he overslept again after a night after patrolling? It'll be fine I get to babysit Claire this Saturday night.

Break your wrist (paw) while wrestling with Brady? Its okay, Claire got an A on her science project.

World is ending, the sun is crashing into the earth, and we're all going to combust? Will Claire be there?

See? The way I figure, how could life be that bad if that's how you thought of everything? I had looked forward to imprinting for years, and I hadn't really made that a secret. I already loved my life as a wolf, and as I waited, I loved my life as a police officer. I was on the force in Forks with my stepdad, Charlie Swan, who I honestly liked and enjoyed working with. Things were going great for me, and I looked forward to finally having a life of my own with whoever the lucky girl was going to be.

So I waited.

Okay, I didn't really 'wait'. I graduated high school through home schooling and a mother who understood my uh, inherited career. I enrolled in community college right after finishing high school, and was on the straight track to getting an education. When Charlie suggested that I become a police officer for Forks, I had balked at the idea. Then, the more I thought about it, I couldn't think of a reason why not. I was in great physical shape, I certainly couldn't be harmed by much of anything, and I liked helping people. And, as a bonus, I would have a pretty flexible schedule. As it turns out, police training was a breeze when you're a wolf, and I passed all my tests with flying colors. My teachers at the police academy in Seattle had actually been sad to see me return to the small town of Forks to work instead of staying in a larger city to work. But I had my reasons.

Before I knew it, it was time for the Cullens to leave for awhile and a house pretty much fell into my lap. They had been so attached to the house in Forks that none of them had wanted to sell it, so I moved into the mansion to house sit for a few years. They would be back in a century or so when everyone they knew here was dead, and they were relieved, I think, to know that I would be guarding their house in the meantime. In a way, it was kind of funny to me; The house wasn't changing, I wasn't changing…everything around me was frozen in time as the years passed and I waited for her.

And I waited.

And waited.

Okay…I didn't 'wait' in the bedroom department. I wasn't like Quil in that way. I hadn't imprinted, and therefore I could still pay attention to women, where he and all my other imprinted brothers practically couldn't. I wasn't about to go eighteen years without sex. No way.

I was careful though. Extremely careful. I was so careful not to get attached to a female that it was almost stressful at times. Looking back, I probably broke a lot of hearts along the way. I wasn't a jerk about it; I always explained that I wasn't looking for anything serious, and I didn't exactly send them packing in a cab the next morning. I had a few one night stands here and there, but never anything more than one or two casual dates. I never went out looking for sex like some of my mangier pack mates (Brady), but I wasn't about to turn it down if it came knocking at my door.

But there was always that fear there, looming in the back of my head…

I had never forgotten what my original Alpha, Sam, had done to my sister. True, I had seen both sides of the story, both before I phased and after. After Leah and I phased and I had to deal with patrolling with them both, I had gotten firsthand account via both of their memories. However, neither side looked appealing. I avoided anything serious with any girl so that when the time came, I was ready and willing to give my imprint everything she needed from me, heart, mind, and soul. Leah never said it, but I knew she appreciated that aspect of my history.

I'm a positive person by nature; always have been, probably always will be. And yet, it got harder and harder every year that she didn't appear in front of me. My best friends and pack mates met their imprints and started to retire and age, and then there I was; still frozen in my 'early twenties', phasing every day and waiting to meet the future Mrs. Seth Clearwater. Esme had given me her blessing to live in the Cullen house in Forks for as long as I wanted to once I met her; hell, Esme had even stocked the entire house full of girl-friendly shit like expensive bed sheets, fancy bath salts, and hair conditioner. What guy uses hair conditioner and bath salt? Why does a bath even need salt? Trying to explain why these things were in my houses to guests got quite difficult, but…I did it. For her.

Days, weeks, years, and eventually a decade passed. And then another year passed. And another. I was twenty seven at the time, and I wasn't quite the same person anymore. Waiting will do that to someone.

I tried to stay positive, but that was hard sometimes. I could see what I was missing in the minds of my brothers who had imprinted, and I wanted it. How do you even miss something you've never had? Easy – you see it up close and personal in the minds of your best friends, every night on patrol. It was hard for them not to think about their imprints really. Not that I could blame them.

The ones who had imprinted on younger kids (Quil) had extremely happy and fun memories. The ones who had imprinted on older girls (Paul, Jared, Sam, etc) had memories of the best sex ever imaginable that they flipped through every night. Now, as gross as it was to watch stuff like that, sometimes you couldn't help it. Just to catch a glimpse of what they were remembering from the night before was exhilarating if you could ignore the fact that it was them and just concentrate on their feelings for their imprints. It was indescribable the level of love and utter devotion they felt to those girls. I'm confident that there wouldn't be anything like it on the planet.

I pined for that feeling.

And each year that it didn't come, it was like a blow to my ego. Had I really waited, frozen in time for all these years, for a girl that would never appear? Had I pushed away some other girl who would have been just fine for me in my desperate hunt to find my imprint? These were the thoughts that haunted me for almost a decade.

I was about a month and a half away from my twenty eighth birthday when it happened.

Now, when guys describe imprinting, both with words and shown in their minds, it's never a subtle thing. Some imprintees are naturally drawn to the wolves that imprint on them, with others, it takes more time. Over the years, I had seen both happen. Kim was so drawn to Jared that she practically couldn't stand it. Paul had had to fight tooth and nail to get Rachel to even give him a second glance.

However, for the wolf it's always sudden and unexpected, and undeniable. I had worried for years as a young wolf that I would imprint someday and not even realize it. How silly that fear had been. Jared once told me it was like 'getting bitch slapped by cupid, but you really fuckin' like it.' So I had that to look forward to.

And Jared was right, in many, many ways.

I remember when I saw her for the first time. It wasn't exactly a great situation, but as soon as I laid eyes on her that didn't really matter anymore. She reeked like…well, not me, but that didn't matter quite as much either. All that mattered was that I had found her. Finally.

She was a pessimist, she had her demons from the past, and she hated cops. She was the polar opposite of me, we had almost nothing in common, and she thought I was weird and a bit creepy with all the weird shit I said and did around her. She was short, I was tall, she hated Forks, I loved it. She ate organic food, I ate fast food; she wanted to say inside, I wanted to go outside. She would give me looks that clearly made me feel like a loser, and she once even labeled me as 'un-cool'. But I soon learned that none of that mattered, nor would it ever matter again.

She was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	2. Chapter 2

Seth

I pulled into the Forks Police Station that morning, an unusual peppy jaunt in my step. I wasn't sure what it was; last night had been another one of those nights. I had a few too many beers on the back deck, looking up at the stars, thinking about life, and generally contemplating all of my life problems. I didn't really remember going to bed, but I did wake up with a certain sunny-ness to my attitude that hadn't been there for a long time. It was strange really; just a normal, cloudy Tuesday morning in Forks, yet I bounced out of bed and happily made my way throughout the Cullen house.

I missed my extended vampire family a lot. They had stayed in Forks longer than was really safe, and I think I was the saddest to see them leave. When my mom had finally married Charlie, I was technically twenty two, a college graduate, and way too old to live with the two of them. Edward had graciously offered me the chance to live in their house, rent free, for as long as I needed. They had moved up to Alaska to live near the Denali coven, leaving Jacob and Renesmee here to live in the cottage while I kept the original house up when they left, and that had been five years ago. I enjoyed it; many of my pack mates couldn't understand how I would live in a house that was full of vampire stench, but honestly it was gone completely within the first three months. I had been there for five years now, and as a twenty seven year old bachelor, there was nothing better than a swanky house all to myself.

I cut the engine as my Chevy Bronco rolled into my parking spot in front of the Forks Police Department, hopping out to stride up to the front doors. I straightened the collar on my work polo, thankful that the department was quite relaxed on its dress code, especially now that the weather was getting colder. Charlie generally wore his jeans, work boots, and a sweatshirt with the department logo on it, while I preferred my navy blue polo with said logo and jeans instead.

"Morning Chief," I quipped, picking up my coffee cup. I filled it to the brim with straight black goodness, taking a sip. It burned my tongue, but today I didn't mind for some reason. It was going to be a good day, and I could feel it in my bones.

"Morning Seth," Charlie grumbled from his desk, not looking up from his paper. Charlie wasn't really a morning person, so we kept our dialogue rather limited before 10 a.m.

"That trip to the airport go alright?" I asked. Charlie and Sue were allowing his ex wife Renee's niece to live with them for awhile. The girl, like Bella, was from Phoenix, and would be staying with them; Charlie had said something about her needing a change of scenery. I really had to laugh at the irony of the entire situation. Here was Charlie, over a decade later, picking up a high schooler he barely knew to come and live with him again.

"Yeah, we got Regan all settled in last night. She started school today. Sue dropped her off on her way to the bakery," he replied gruffly.

"Why did she come to live with you again?" I asked, peeking over the small partition that separated our desks. Charlie stayed frozen, only allowing his brown eyes to dart up and look at me. He gave me an amused look that was chiding me for my nosy inquiry, but answered me just the same.

"Needed a change is all," he replied, his eyes flicking back down to the newspaper in front of him. "Was running with a bad crowd down there in Phoenix. I always liked Renee's little sister Leslie so…figured I would offer to help her daughter out. That's all."

I couldn't help but grin to myself. After years of knowing my step father, I knew that that was Charlie talk for 'Seth, please stop asking me so many questions and being nosy'. I grinned, leaning back in my squeaky desk chair and unbuttoning the top button of my work polo. I sipped my coffee, browsing over the headlines for the day on my computer. Nothing really stuck out as interesting, so I busied myself with paperwork.

Charlie joined me in my beat up Bronco as we patrolled around town that afternoon. I knew he hated getting into my beast of a vehicle and driving around town, but he complied eventually when I agreed to go eat at the diner, his favorite lunch spot. He always griped to me that my rusted, aqua and white 'tank' as he called it gave the force a bad name, but I disagreed. I think the old girl gave us some character, what with her rusted edges, big tires, and familiar red and blue lights on top.

"Say what you want Charlie, but this thing never gets stuck in the winter. Didn't I have to come pull you out of the ditch last year when-"

"Yes, well, the cruiser gets better gas mileage is all," Charlie interjected as we pulled up to the diner. He rolled his eyes and I laughed and slapped him playfully on the shoulder as we walked inside.

"It's not a good day until I see Officer Clearwater's pretty white smile," a voice rang out over the lunchtime chatter of the diner. I grinned as my favorite waitress, and older lady named Beverly, glided up to us.

"Glad I could be of service," I flirted back with her, flashing her my best grin. The woman was in her late sixties, yet flirting with me during lunchtime was her sport of choice. I was always happy to indulge her. Charlie just grunted and pulled out the closest chair.

I chatted happily with Beverly as she waited on us, indulging her with the town gossip that I knew she lived for. When lunch was over, she brought me a steaming piece of peach cobbler, my favorite dessert.

"On the house for ya sweetie," she said with her raspy voice, dropping the small plate in front of me . I grinned at her as she glided away again, busy with the lunchtime rush. Charlie just glared sourly at me from across the table. I knew he wasn't really mad, but I was going to rub it in his face anyway.

"Why do you get free dessert all the time? She gives you free pie and cobbler almost every time you come in here," he stated, raising an eyebrow at me.

I brushed my short hair out of my eyes and chuckled at him as I picked up my fork. "Charlie, you get free coffee everywhere you go!" I pointed out. He rolled his eyes at me, eying my cobbler.

"Coffee isn't the same as cobbler," he whined quietly before taking a sip of his coffee.

I laughed and dug in.

The day passed by rather easily, and before I knew it, it was quitting time. I kept my radio clipped to my belt in case someone needed help after hours, and returned home to nap for a few hours before patrol. Parking my car in the extensive Cullen garage, I had to chuckle at the way my beat up tank of a vehicle looked in the pristine environment. It stuck out like a sore thumb. I ate, napped, and then before I knew it, it was time for patrol with my least favorite pack member, Brady.

Now, it wasn't that I disliked Brady as a brother. I got along with him just fine for the most part. He was pretty volatile and quick, and reminded me a lot of Paul, which is why Jacob usually paired me with him to patrol. My cool demeanor and laid back attitude allowed me to deal with Brady a lot easier than some of the other guys could. Nothing he did ever really bothered me, so I didn't mind that part of it. However, Brady was quite the man whore as he hadn't imprinted yet either, so I was forced to remember his one-night escapades each night during our long hours of scouring the countryside for intruders.

Saying that Brady was a big furry ball of man-slut was understated. If there was anything female and under the age of thirty around, he could barely keep his hands to himself. It didn't help that we were all tall, dark, and extremely muscular. I'm not trying to brag, but we were all pretty studly looking, which only aided Brady in tempting in his lady prey.

Nice to see you too bro, he laughed in my head as soon as I phased.

My sandy paws hit the ground, and I grunted as all my bones popped into place and adjusted themselves. After a long day as a human, it felt really fucking good to phase and run around in the woods for a few hours as a wolf. We healed fast in wolf form, so any aches and pains developed during the day usually worked themselves out when we were phased, so I generally looked forward to it.

Okay, what perimeter do you want? Brady asked.

Uh…north? I don't care. You take La Push, I'll take the area around Forks, I replied with a mental shrug. Brady grunted in response, and we headed our separate ways. I trotted up the worn path through the dense forest towards Forks, remembering to keep my nose down and my eyes up, just like Sam had taught me so many years ago. Generally we only had a few nomads cross through, and word that the Cullens were animal drinkers had spread throughout the vampire world rather quickly. Word about our pack had also spread through their world and we generally didn't have too many problems.

I made my way through the woods towards the town, making sure nothing seemed out of place. Patrol was really something we did now out of habit; just to be safe. There hadn't been a battle or a threat since Renesmee was born, but we saw no reason to stop doing it. Patrols were now only done at night, and we had a large enough pack that I only had to do it three times a week. I still phased most days to check in with everyone and go for a nightly run though. Running through the woods at top speed before bed usually helped distract me from the fact that I was going home to an empty house. Most wolves used that time for uh, extracurricular activities with their imprints. One might say that it helped me relieve some of the tension that had a chance to build up.

Spare me the details please, Brady whined in my head.

Shut up, at least I don't make you watch all the disgusting details of my sex life in my head, I snapped.

What sex life? Brady cackled.

Thanks bro. You know, I used to have a sex life.

Yes, and all fifteen minutes of it was super great I bet.

I'm gonna come down to La Push and kick your ass. Don't make me come find you, I threatened him.

Brady just laughed at me in his mind, and I pointedly pictured myself ripping into him with my teeth. He backed off, letting his mind settle into the familiar buzz that meant he was trying quiet his thoughts and let us patrol in silence. I amicably agreed to do the same.

I first made my way up to the grade school and sniffed around, careful to stay hidden by the darkness. Next, I circled around the outside of town, checking the residential areas, and then when that was clear I went to the high school. I frowned to myself as I realized it smelled…different.

What do you mean, 'different'? Brady suddenly interjected, his thoughts whirring as he tried to smell the scent through my mind.

No, not bad. Calm down. Just…can't you smell that? Something smells different. Good.

I brought the memory of the new scent from the high school to the front of my mind, letting Brady catch the flavor of it. He shrugged mentally and went back into silence as he made his way around the reservation.

What is that? I wondered, lowering my nose to the ground. It was a different scent; faint, flowery, and definitely pleasant. I made my way around the perimeter of Forks High, but lost the scent once it was in the parking lot. Weird.

I let my mind wander about a case of vandalism I was working on solving both as a cop and as a wolf. I had to laugh at myself of a bit; I patrolled the same area during the day that I patrolled at night most of the time. The only difference was my uniform – a night I donned a fur coat instead of my badge and polos.

I quickly forgot about the pleasant new scent as I made my way up to the back of the one grocery store in Forks, which was where I guessed my spray painting vandals I was on the hunt for would turn up next. Hmm, no such luck, I thought as I laid eyes on an untouched brick wall along the side of the store. Both times the vandals had struck, it had rained too soon afterward for me to pick up the scent of who committed the silly crime, thus making it much harder for me to catch them. After checking the bank, the diner, and the post office, I made my way back to loop around the residential area again.

Might as well go check on mom, I thought, twitching my tail as I loped over to their street. Another light rain, the third one of the day, had begun to fall, making a mist rise up from the warm ground. It was mid fall, so the weather was still hit or miss when it came to temperature.

The house was still lit up, and I could see that Charlie and my mom were in the living room relaxing. Charlie was watching the news, and Sue was talking on the phone to someone. Pricking my ears, I realized she was on the phone with my sister, Leah. Laughing to myself, I let out a soft howl that was aimed at the house.

I watched as my mom looked out the window, rolling her eyes and laughing at me. I could hear Leah laughing on the other end of the phone; she must have heard me too.

"Seth says hello," she added, waving me away with her hand. I turned on my heels and trotted away to circle the rest of the house. Looking up, I realized that the light was on in Bella's old room.

What the…oh, must be Renee's niece that's living with them for awhile. I bet Bella would like that she's using her old room….

As I made my way around the house, I could have sworn I smelled the same sweet, tempting scent from the parking lot at the high school.

What is that? I thought to myself.

It smells like a girl, Brad finally huffed at me. You said yourself that Renee's niece is gonna live with Charlie awhile.

Thanks for not spying on my thoughts, I huffed at him.

Spying, listening…whatever, Brady growled to himself. I shot an annoyed feeling to him, wherever he was up in La Push, and kept sniffing at the ground. Something about that scent was different…intriguing…

I needed to move on and patrol some more, but I would definitely be looking into that.

By the time I was finished patrolling it was nearly four in the morning. I practically sleep-walked into my house, collapsing onto my bed with a satisfied feeling that my Forks and La Push were safe for tonight. However, even though I was completely exhausted, that sweet, flowery scent was the last thing that crossed my mind before I fell into a deep slumber. What was that?


	3. Chapter 3

Regan

I'm sure if I could feel anything, I would have been horrified.

I vaguely remember getting off the plane, finding my aunt Renee's ex husband Charlie with the help of the flight attendant, and the forced 'hello's' I'm sure we said. Honestly, I just wanted to find a bed and try to sleep. Sleeping was really all I was 'into' these days.

I had never flown alone before, and I never wanted to again. As a sixteen year old, I had to have a flight attendant escort me to my next gate during a layover, which was humiliating. They just kept checking on me throughout the flight when all I really wanted was to be left alone.

"Buckle up," Charlie muttered from the front seat, and his wife, Sue, smiled at him before turning to look out the window. I obeyed, but mainly out of habit. I was mostly concerned with the scenery as it slowly blurred by outside the window of his police cruiser. I was living with a cop in a small town from now on. This could not get more ironic if I was making it up.

The drive from the airport was a good hour and a half, but I had my iPod on the entire time as the scenery flashed by. It was all just a green blur he drove me home. I think Sue tried to talk to me several times, but I wasn't about being polite right now. Literally no one understood that I just wanted to be left alone.

The cruiser pulled up to a small, two story white house after rolling through the ghost-town that was Forks. It was a Monday afternoon and not much was going on – not that I was surprised. I didn't know much about Renee, but I quickly realized that we had something in common: we both wanted to get the hell out of here. Only she had succeeded, and I was just arriving.

Charlie parked the slightly rusting police cruiser along the worn sidewalk, letting it sputter to a halt with a slight jolt. I stepped out, clutching my bags to my side as I watched Charlie get up with a grunt and unloaded the rest of my things. Sue took this opportunity to make me feel uncomfortable, although I'm sure that's not really what she wanted to do.

"This will be good for you," she said, her voice soft but firm. She gripped my shoulders lovingly, but I avoided her intrusive brown eyes. I had a feeling that I wouldn't get much past Sue Clearwater.

I'm sure she was nice, and caring, and a really good person, but after what I had been through…I didn't really want to hear advice from an adult I barely knew. It had been a long couple of days. I had the fight of all fights with my mother about 'my behavior,' and we made the decision that it was best for me to leave home for a while. Then, I had packed up my things and left.

It had been the longest three days of my life.

"You'll like it here. This place grows on people. I know it doesn't look like much, but you'll give it a chance, won't you?" she asked. I looked up at her, still unsure.

"It looks like I have to," I replied, gripping the worn straps of my backpack. She gave me a nod and led me into the house. Sue seemed to understand that didn't really want to talk about it, and for that I was glad. Normally I would have wanted to explore, but tonight I really just wanted to find the closest bed and sleep. I would worry about everything else…later. Common sense told me that 'later' would always come, but I just didn't want to deal with it at the moment. It had been a long couple of days and I just wanted sleep.

"Up this way," Charlie muttered, dragging my bags up the narrow staircase. I followed with Sue right on my heels. I had a feeling that this was going to be a tradition in this house.

He led me to a bedroom down the small hallway and from what I could tell it had a view of the back and side yard. It wasn't bad; medium-sized, with two windows and a decent sized alcove that housed a desk. It was painted a somewhat strange bluish green color; I immediately suspected that Charlie had something to do with that. The double bed was pushed up against the wall, the warm colored wooden headboard boasting a dusty strand of twinkle lights. The walls had some art on them, although it was all eclectic and disorganized. There was a rickety looking wooden side table beside the bed, the desk, and two dressers. It would do just fine.

"Leah stayed here off and on for awhile, but uh…it used to be my daughter's bedroom. She's gone and married now, but…you, uh…you remember Bella, right?" I shrugged, avoiding making contact with his questioning eyes.

"Uh, yeah, once, I think. She visited me like…back when I was a baby. I think 2004? It was before she moved up here," I replied. I had seen the picture of the awkward looking teenage girl holding me as a baby once, when she and Renee had first moved to Phoenix. I hadn't seen Bella since then and would have forgotten that she was my cousin to be completely honest.

I just hoped she didn't mind that I was staying in her room.

"School starts at eight fifteen. Sue will drive you up there around eight. Paperwork and whatnot," Charlie said, putting his worn hands on his hips. I watched as he glanced around the room awkwardly, a pensive look on his face, almost like he was remembering something.

"Well, we'll let you get settled," Sue said, nudging him lightly on the elbow. Charlie made a pained face and turned to leave. Sue glanced over her shoulder at me as I watched them leave with tired but guarded eyes. Deep down I think I knew it would take me a long time before I could trust people again.

The deep, searing heat of Arizona licked at my clammy skin as I laid there. Moving wasn't an option; there was no hope left for that. Escaping was a distant dream. The air inside the car was hot – too hot as I gave up my struggle. Had I once looked at those muscles in the hallways at school, dreaming about them holding me someday?

What was happening now was a sick joke compared to that. I sucked on my bloodied lip as I squeezed my eyes shut, praying for it to be over. My head jammed against the armrest of the car door again and again. I had given up crying and whimpering in pain. Nothing helped. Sweat began to trickle down the sides of my face, and soon the beads joined with my tears in one warm, miserable mixture.

I jumped awake; struggling against what I thought was him. Looking down, I realized it was just the tangled sheets holding me down. I panted to myself, running my hand through my sweaty hair. The cool air in my new bedroom quickly reminded me that I was not in Phoenix any longer. I was far away from that hot, dry, hell-hole of a place. There were several reasons why that place was my own personal hell on earth, and my dream had graciously allowed me to revisit one of them. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I still had an hour or so before I had to be awake for school. I laid my head back against the pillows, hoping that sleep would find me again quickly. It didn't.

Instead I lay there, thinking. It was one of those things I just didn't understand. My body was so immensely tired and exhausted from my move the day before, and yet here I was, feeling trapped like a prisoner in the awful aqua-colored room, in some other girl's bed with my own tortured thoughts.

The decision to come to Forks had been a relatively easy one; I would have done anything to get away from the south and what it represented. It wasn't that I hated my home, but too much had happened there and I didn't want to be around it anymore. What stood out in my mind was the heat, searing through my veins, mixed with pain and agony as my attacker had clawed at me. My own girlish stupidity and longing for something exciting to happen to me had seemingly laughed in my face as he had pinned me down and taken what was sacred to me. But that didn't matter now…it was over and done with. I would never have it back. It was like having a family heirloom stolen from your home, only to be pawned off for a quick twenty bucks to buy some cigarettes and beer. Only this felt a thousand times worse.

Sleep eventually found me again, but before I knew it the alarm on my cell phone was going off, urging me to get up.

Already? I thought, looking out the window. Everything around me was draped in a gloomy, bluish haze that looked like the dreariest thing I had ever seen. Glancing around my room, I finally noticed how cold looking and almost forgotten it appeared. It almost looked like I felt.

I huffed in frustration, but rose to face the day anyway. Poking my head out of the hallway, I noted that the door to Charlie and Sue's bedroom was open. I could clearly see the made bed and that both of them were already gone.

I took a quick shower in the tiny bathroom, doing my best to make it look like I had put some effort into how I looked, but my heart just wasn't into it like it used to be. I used to love doing my hair, makeup, nails and traditionally girly things like that, but I really didn't have the energy to do much with my appearance today; first day at a new school or not. When I finally got dressed and headed downstairs, I saw Charlie and Sue sitting at their breakfast nook in the kitchen, sipping coffee and watching the morning news on a tiny television. They say there in complete silence, yet it was amicable. I could tell that it was probably a morning ritual, and I already felt like an intruder in their home.

"Good morning," Sue said, looking up at me. I offered her a weak smile, nervously fingering the edge of the counter beside me.

"Morning…uh…coffee cup?" I asked hopefully, pointing to the rows of cabinets in front of me. She pointed the one closest to the coffee pot, and I grabbed one to fill up. I pretended not to notice as they both watched me suck down at least two cups of coffee before I grabbed my backpack and looked at Sue expectantly.

"You drink coffee?" Charlie asked with a frown.

"Yup," I stated. I took a long sip of the plain black liquid to prove my point.

An awkward silent settled over the kitchen, and I could see Sue start to look uncomfortable out of the corner of my eye. "Well, that is just fine. We always have a fresh pot brewing in the mornings, and on the weekends most of the day, thanks to Charlie," she said in a rushed tone. I felt bad. I could tell she was trying to be nice to me and take pity on my situation, but I was still in self defense mode when it came to relationships with people.

She nodded quickly at Charlie then grabbed her keys off the table. We rode to the school in silence, and I could tell that it made her uncomfortable. I just didn't have anything I wanted to say yet.

"People should be nice…it's a small town, they're usually pretty good about welcoming new people," Sue said, pulling up in front of the brick high school. I looked at it skeptically, gripping the car door handle as I sat there.

"Yeah…I should be fine. Um…thanks," I mumbled, opening the door.

"Have a good day, Regan," she added quickly before I slammed it shut. I didn't look back at her; I just wanted to get this over with.

I went to the office, filled out the paperwork, and eventually found my first class. It wasn't hard. I had never been to a new school before, but I wasn't an idiot. I could have cared less about all the curious stares I the day, students would try to make small talk with me before classes started up for the period, but I made it pretty clear that I didn't have much interest in partaking in any conversations. After all, I didn't know how long I was going to be there. According to Mom, this was only a temporary change of scenery.

Lunch was the worst though, I'd have to say. It was just like every terrible cliché movie that I had ever seen about a 'new girl at school.' I sat at a table alone in front of the windows, slumped over in front of my tray. I had purchased food out of habit; I still wasn't hungry for anything. Food just…didn't taste the same. Nothing was the same now. I felt... broken.

I watched as a pretty girl strode across the cafeteria; her long, jet black hair trailing out behind her in soft waves. She was Native American, I could tell. Her skin was tan, despite the lack of sunlight in this part of the country, and her almond shaped eyes boasted a dark brown color that only belonged to her people. We had Native Americans in Arizona, and I noted that they all seemed to look similar, despite the distance; wise, mysterious, and beautiful. It wasn't fair sometimes. She didn't appear to be any older than me; she was just a lot luckier. She sat down at a table not far from mine, surrounded by friends. Occasionally I caught her looking over her shoulder at me, but she would always go back to chattering away with her peers before glancing over my way again. Part of me envied her; she made high school look so easy, just like I used to.

I wasn't a bad kid. I wasn't mean to the less popular girls. I never teased or made anyone else's life miserable. I was fairly content to merely screw up my own life most of the time; other girls didn't even show up on my radar.

My main problem was just that I was bored for the most part and wanted attention from my mother that worked all the time. It was a bit self destructive, I know. But I was only sixteen, and I didn't know what I wanted or how to get it.

I sat down in the class that was going to be the bane of my existence: algebra. At my old school in Phoenix, you could go to a tutor on your study hour that was paid for by the school. As I looked around the tiny class room and the fifteen or sixteen students around me, I guess there was no such thing at Forks High.

"So you're the new girl, right?" I heard a voice say. I turned my head and looked at the boy in the desk beside mine. He gaped at me through his thick glasses, waiting for my response. In a school with only a few hundred people, did he really not know that I was the new girl? Or was he just making polite conversation?

"Yeah, I guess so," I mumbled, turning back forward. I hoped he would get the hint that I didn't want to talk.

"Are you any good at math? Our statistics club needs another member to get funded by the school. Then we can be registered as a real club, and we can call it 'The Mathletes,'" he replied quickly.

I looked over at him, clearly horrified. Did this geek actually think I would want to do math in my spare time? I couldn't think of anything worse.

"Uh, no thanks," I said to him with a frown. He continued to chatter to me through most of the class about math, Forks, Forks High, and anything else he could think of. By the time the bell rang, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Forks was turning out to be a nightmare so far. There was nothing to do, a completely lame high school, and nosy host (Sue,) and completely dismal weather. Had I made a mistake in coming here?

I floated through the rest of the day, just hoping that the clocks would all speed up. I knew that the first day was going to be the worst, but it just seemed to drag on forever.

I saw the same girl from the hallway this morning several more times. She looked at me sympathetically once, and I avoided looking at her deep brown eyes after that. I didn't need her sympathy. Imagine my surprise when she walked up to one of the lockers near mine and opened it. I hadn't been back to my locker since this morning, so this was the first time I realized that our lockers were right beside each other.

After struggling with the padlock, I finally smacked the bottom of the locker door and it swung open. I heard a quiet giggle a few feet away, but I chose to ignore it. I dropped off the books I wasn't going to take home, and then grabbed my new, thick winter coat.

I closed my locker and jumped when the girl from the cafeteria was right behind the door, looking at me expectantly.

"You're the new girl…Regan?" she asked, turning her head to the side. Her hair fell in perfect waves down the side of her face, and one side was clipped back with a barrette. She had the biggest brown eyes I'd ever seen, and they were accented by her tan skin. She was even prettier up close.

"Yeah," I muttered, picking my back pack up from the floor.

"Isn't that a guy's name?" she questioned. I don't think she meant it as insulting; she just was inquisitive.

I hoisted it up onto my shoulders and snorted. "You're thinking of President Reagan. When it's spelled like mine, it's for a girl."

She looked at me skeptically, as most people do when they ask about my 'boy's name.' I had to laugh at the face she made.

"One of the naughty princesses in King Lear…ring a bell?" I asked. "My mom is a Shakespeare nut."

She wrinkled her nose as she zipped up her coat. "We're reading Romeo and Juliet in English class soon."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you are," I muttered. In my opinion, that was one of his most over read and beat-to-death plays he had ever written.

"What?" she asked, furrowing her perfect eyebrows together.

"Nothing," I mumbled, shaking my head. We began to walk down the hallway toward the doors the led to the parking lot. I began to sense that she was only talking to me out of 'popular girl' obligation.

"I'm Claire, by the way," she said finally.

"Oh," I replied awkwardly. I wasn't really sure what else to say to her. So far all she had done was ask stupid questions.

"You can tell you're not from around here. You're the only white girl here with a decent tan," she snorted.

"Is that bad?" I asked.

She shook her head quickly, her long hair swaying. "No, it's just that the only tan people here are Natives, like…well, I'm half. I'm from the Makah rez up the road. My parents moved here to be in a better school district."

"Oh, well…yeah…the sun is kinda hard to avoid in Arizona," I replied awkwardly. I couldn't think of anything else to say to this girl to save my life.

"Why on earth would you leave Arizona?"

There it was – the question I had been dreading. How could I possibly explain to a stranger why I had left Arizona without getting judged?

"Just…was sick of things there. My mom works a lot, so, she's never around."

"Oh," she said. I could tell she wanted to ask more questions, but was biting her tongue to keep herself in check.

"So yeah…Forks it is."

"I would have found a grandparent to live with in Arizona before coming to Forks," she said to herself in disgust. She whipped her head up to look at me, her brown eyes wide. "Oh! I shouldn't have said that. Ooopsies."

I gave her a slightly incredulous look, but said nothing as we walked.

"Well," she sighed. "I'll see you around, Regan," she added playfully with a tiny giggle. She practically skipped off in the direction of a beat up truck that had pulled up to the sidewalk by the front doors. The guy inside reached over and opened the door for her, giving her a big grin when she jumped inside. I only caught a glance of him, but he had the same tan skin as Claire and was huge from what I could see. He patted her on the head and laughed at something she said before putting the truck into drive and pulling away from the curb.

Must be her older brother, I thought.

I looked around through the misty rain that had begun to settle over the school yard, searching for Sue's car. What if she forgot about me? What if she didn't want to pick me up? Would I walk? I wasn't even sure I knew the way home from here. I pulled my hood over my already frizzy hair and scanned the parking lot again.

Before I had a chance to worry more, I spotted her slightly familiar car and ran towards it eagerly, excited to go home. Well, not home, but the closest thing to home that I had at the moment. It had been a long day, and I was tired and overwhelmed with everything that I had done, the people I'd met, new school, a new house, new family members to stay with…Would Forks ever feel like home to me?

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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3 – Howl

Regan

As soon as I was back to Charlie and Sue's, I wasn't so sure why I was so excited to get home in the first place. At school, there were at least people to talk to. Here…it was isolated and quiet; too quiet. Sue immediately busied herself with cooking dinner – apparently tonight we were having her famous roast.

"I make it on nights that he has to work a little later," she explained as we walked into dreary looking house. She went along, flipping the lights on as we walked through the tiny house and into the kitchen. Its ambiance perked up once all the lights were on, and the smell of cooking pasta began wafting throughout it.

"Charlie won't be home until seven. Do you have enough to do until then?"

I nodded. "Yeah, um...lots of homework," I offered, gesturing to the backpack on my shoulder. I began to walk for the stairs, as Sue called out.

"Regan?"

I turned on the bottom step, looking at her. "Yeah?"

Her face slowly broke into a kind smile, and I almost felt badly for a second for being so rude to her. "It's nice to have you here. I know that…circumstances aren't the best but it's going to be nice to have another person in the house. I miss my kids," she admitted.

I pressed my lips together, giving her a tight smile. "Thanks," I mumbled, continuing up the steps. I wasn't good with kind words and affectionate strangers. Even though Sue and Charlie could be listed as family, I wasn't actually related to them. As Renee's niece, I had no blood relation to them whatsoever – so in my book, they were just overly kind strangers willing to take in a troubled teen. I sighed, tossing my book bag down on my bed. Since when had my life become such a Lifetime movie?

I moved my things to the desk, grudgingly opening my algebra book. I had zero interest in this right now. For starters, I had just done this at the end of last year and was still sick of the monotonous equations. Second, there was too much to take in at the moment. I was on a different part of the country than I had woken up in yesterday; my mom was thousands of miles away, probably still sad that I had wanted to leave. Leaving, after all, had been my idea from the start.

I had gone through a really rough patch of time about a year ago. I was fifteen, longing for freedom and attention from my overworked, single mom, but I had no idea how to go about getting it. So what was my solution? Acting out. I drank, smoked pot, and ran away – twice. That second time had been my undoing. I had run away but only to the other side of the city. Phoenix was large enough that I could disappear for several days before being found. The first time I had been stupid – I had been caught on the second day. Stealing credit cards was never a good idea. The second time I ran away, I hadn't been lucky enough to be caught. That was when it had happened.

I faintly remember talking and drinking with kids my age at a party down by the waterfront. We had smoked a few bowls under the bridge, and people were pairing off and starting to get crazy. I had left with a guy that looked older than me, which was always a draw for me. Anything to be dangerous and draw attention and eye rolls from adults would suit me just fine. However, he had wanted to go much further and faster than I wanted to in the backseat of his car, and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. And he certainly didn't.

My mother had picked me up from the emergency room that night, and things hadn't been the same for me since. I had done everything they said I needed to do in order to get over something like that. I went to the classes. I talked to the shrinks, and I said what they wanted to hear. But how do you recover from something like that? Can you ever? I certainly wasn't sure yet.

The months after that had been a blur. My relationship with my mother had never been the same after everything that had happened. I had run away twice, stolen her wallet, been raped, and had slept with more people than I had fingers by the time I was fifteen. It wasn't that I wanted to be labeled a slut and a whore; it was just that I felt like I was a nothing and a no-body after what had happened. Any boy that gave me a second glance in the hallways at school was mistaken for a loving shoulder to cry on. And all they ever wanted was sex.

When my mother had caught me in my bedroom at home with a senior boy, she had had enough. I think I had known all along that that would be the last straw; however, it wasn't like I cared. I was sixteen, and I already felt washed up and useless.

I sighed as I was brought back out of my reverie. Glancing down at my notebook, I cringed at the sight of the blank paper in front of me. Did I really think my homework was going to do itself?

Dropping my pen onto the paper, I stood up and walked over to the dresser on the other side of the room and began to arrange the few belongings I had brought with me from Phoenix. I spent the next hour rearranging the meager furniture to better suit my taste. I moved the bed away from the window a bit, pushed the desk a different way, and put up a few of the pictures and posters I had brought from home.

This would be better over here, I thought, eying the smaller dresser. With a grunt, I pushed it to the side to move it closer to the corner, and something fluttered to the floor when I did. I moved it into its new place, and then bent to pick it up. It was a picture and a picture of two people at that. It was of a girl and a guy. The guy had to be one of the finest looking things I had ever seen. His face was pale and sculpted, his strong cheekbones rising up to perfectly accentuate his beautiful eyes. He was gorgeous. The girl was rather plain looking and for a moment I wondered what he was doing with her.

Nice Regan….really nice, I chided myself for having such a mean thought. I was just being...observant. He looked like a model from one of the few fashion magazines I had seen in the airport. His looks were otherworldly and chiseled, while the girl was…ordinary looking. There was nothing striking about her, but she was by no means ugly – just plain. But the way they looked at each other! My throat closed up as I looked at the picture in my hand, and I couldn't help but be envious of the girl. Was this Charlie's daughter Bella? Surely it had to be – this was her old room, after all. I knew Leah had lived here shortly before leaving to go live in Seattle like Sue had said, but this girl in the picture looked far more like Charlie than Sue.

Setting the picture down, I looked at my blank page that was supposed to be full of my algebra homework and sighed. Homework just wasn't in the cards for me tonight; hopefully my new teachers would understand. Perhaps I could play the 'lost new girl' card for a few days?

Charlie came home soon, and Sue called me down for dinner. It was very strange to be called to the dinner table. My mom didn't cook at home; she worked second shift a lot so I was usually on my own when it came to food. I could survive for a long time on Ramen noodles, Spaghetti-O's, and mac and cheese if I had to.

"How is the roast?" Sue prodded at me, her wide brown eyes questioning. I glanced up at her as I spooned another mouthful past my lips, savoring the taste.

"Fine," I answered, looking back down at my bowl. I didn't miss her questioning glance at Charlie, but as usual, he said nothing and kept eating. Sue kept trying.

"Did you make any friends at school? I bet the kids were excited to have someone new to talk to…what with it being such a small group," she continued. I shrugged, not bothering to answer, and I saw her face fall a little.

I should at least try to be nicer to her. I just want to be left alone, but…

"Yeah, it was fine. Everyone was really nice," I answered, trying to give her a sincere smile.

"Did you meet a girl named Claire? I work with her mother at the bakery up at the store. She's such a sweet girl," Sue smiled, exposing her straight, white teeth. I nodded, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I did meet Claire…she's….nice," I choked out. In reality, I wasn't sure that I thought Claire was that nice, but I didn't want to hurt Sue's feelings.

"I know how Claire is. She's a pistol. But, you get used to her. Gosh, I've known her and her mother since she was a little girl. Claire is…Claire," Sue chuckled to herself as she wiped her hands with a napkin.

"Little spitfire that one," Charlie said quietly, giving Sue a mischievous look. Sue just playfully rolled her eyes and stood to walk to the sink.

"Do you want me to do the dishes?" I asked, looking up at her. It was the least I could do. Besides, three soup bowls and some spoons would only take two minutes to wash. I never knew when I would need some more brownie points.

"That would be nice," she said, a smile lighting up her face. I watched as her rosy cheeks glowed, her warm brown eyes complimenting their color. She flashed her straight, white teeth at me as she grinned. She patted my hand, standing up to clear the table.

"I'll dry," she offered, pulling a towel out of one of the drawers. I began to run some water as Charlie kissed her cheek and retired to the living room. We washed in silence for a few moments, Sue humming happily under her breath.

"You're in a good mood," I observed, pushing my sleeves up further. She grinned again, and I think it was the happiest I'd ever seen her.

"My daughter Leah is going to call soon. I have a feeling she'll have some good news for me is all," she answered.

I sighed inwardly. I didn't really care what this was about, but like I said…brownie points. There was no telling when my good behavior and polite conversation would help me out of trouble.

"What kind of news?"

Sue giggled to herself as she wiped a soup bowl and stuck it in the cabinet. "I think she's going to tell me she's engaged!"

"Oh, well…cool," I responded, reaching into the soapy water for another dish. I could see why she was happy. Her nice, normal daughter was probably getting engaged to a nice, normal man, and they would have babies and live happily ever after. At least someone wants her….unlike me…discarded like a piece of trash…

As if on cue, the phone on the other side of the kitchen rang shrilly, distracting us from our conversation. Sue ran to pick it up, and I finished the dishes and walked back upstairs. Sue was curled in the armchair by the window, chattering excitedly about the new news to Charlie while still on the phone: Leah had gotten engaged.

I trudged back upstairs towards my lonely looking little desk in the corner of the room, picking up my pen. I should at least make it look like I tried with this homework, right? I hadn't been working for ten minutes when the sound cut through the air, right outside the house. It was soft, but I heard it; a wolf's howl.

"Oh my god," I gasped, flying over to the window. I didn't see anything but my heart was still racing. That sounded close! I ran down the stairs to the living room where Sue had just hung up the phone, and Charlie was watching the evening news.

"Did you just hear that?" I choked out, my eyes bulging with fear. I flew to the front door, making sure the deadbolt was fastened. Charlie watched me with some interest while Sue rushed over to me with a calm look on her face.

"Regan, Regan…stop…" she soothed, putting a hand on my shoulder. I whirled around, still jumpy with fear from the wolf howl I had just heard. I had lived in the city my whole life; my idea of wildlife was a mouse in the cabinet. That had been terrifyingly close to the house, and I didn't care for that at all.

"That was so close to the house!" I cried, glancing across the room at the windows. My hands were shaking in fear as I tried to collect my jumbled, panicked thoughts. I had just been outside of this house not hours ago! What if that wolf had come sooner?

"Regan, we have lots of wolves around these parts. They won't hurt you, okay?"

I gaped at her, my mouth wide open. "You mean you let huge wolves around your houses and no one sets traps for them…or...or...shoots them? They could rip you apart! Don't you watch Animal Planet?"

Sue chucked tightly, grasping both of my arms. "You have to understand; these are very tame wolves that would never hurt anybody dear. You understand? They're not like those wolves you see on TV. I promise you, Regan, no wolf around these parts would ever hurt you."

Sue tried and tried to reassure me and calm me after that, but I was no fool. Tame or not, it was still a wild animal that couldn't be trusted. Were these people nuts letting wolves live so close to them? I slept with my windows locked that night, just in case the wolves frequented rooftops. I wasn't going to take any chances with that.

So far, I didn't really like Forks.

After dinner, escaped back up to my room and tried unsuccessfully to make it more like home. I didn't know how long I would be in it, but I would go crazy if I didn't at least a little bit 'mine'. I put up some pictures of home and my mother, skipping the pictures of friends. Somehow my friends from home felt like…traitors. They hadn't ever told me that I necessarily should do the bad things I did back in Phoenix. However, they didn't exactly tell me not to either.

I had been trying to decorate my room for about half an hour when a car pulled up to the house. I heard the front door slam and frowned; what now? I heard talking in the kitchen, and then soon after footsteps stomping up the steps.

I froze when suddenly a head of dark, wavy black hair stuck itself inside my door.

"Hi…Regan," she playfully sneered, bouncing the rest of her small body in.

Why does she always say my damn name like that? I thought to myself, gritting my teeth.

"Oh, Claire," I replied flatly, returning to the dresser top I was arranging. Maybe if I just ignored her and was short, she would go away. It had been a long day and I really wasn't in the mood for visitors.

"So this is your room," she observed, shuffling around my unpacked bags and piles of junk. I looked over my shoulder at her.

"So?"

"Nothing, it's just so…plain. I mean…the color? Aqua? Really Charlie?" she giggled. Her dark eyes grew wide and she looked behind her at the open door. "Ooops, I hope he didn't hear me."

I snorted at her. "You've got a big mouth," I spat at her before I could think.

Crap, now this girl is going to think I'm a complete bitch and hate me…good job Regan, I thought. I expected her to do the 'popular girl' thing and bitch me out after my comment, but she didn't. It was literally like it rolled off her back like water would a duck.

"I get that a lot," she mused, picking up a picture on my desk. She tossed a long curl over her shoulder, sighing as she glanced over the photos I was getting ready to hang up.

"I can imagine," I said under my breath. She looked up at me as I arranged the little knick knacks on the top of one of the dressers.

"You don't have a lot of friends back home?" she asked. I looked up at her quickly, surprised she would ask such a thing. This chick had guts to ask me some of the things she did.

"I have friends," I snapped, striding over to her. I yanked the picture of my old house out of her fingers and looked down at it.

"Well it's just that you don't have many pictures of friends to put up," she mused. "It just looked like you didn't have any friends from home. Is that why you moved?" she asked.

I gave her an incredulous look and she bit the side of her lip. "Sorry."

I huffed and tossed the picture back down onto the small desk. "Why are you here, anyway?" My patience with this nosy girl was wearing thin.

"I just came over with my mom. She works with Sue…they had work stuff to discuss. Who knows!" Claire laughed. I looked at her strangely again as I walked back over to the dresser. I had pretty much insulted her twice since she had been here, and yet she didn't even seem to care. She was growing on me.

Claire continued to poke around my room and I continued to arrange things how I liked them. I just wanted this to look and feel like home.

Suddenly, movement down below startled me.

"Oh my god!" I gasped, flying to the window. Claire's head jerked up.

"What is it?" she asked, moving over to stand beside me. I watched, squinting into the darkness on the lawn below as something huge and sandy colored retreated into the trees. I grabbed her arm and gasped, shaking slightly.

"Did you see that!" I whispered, my voice shaking with fear. She stuck her head closer to the glass window and tried to see.

"Uh, no?" she quipped, standing up straight.

I gaped at her. "You had to have just seen that. It was like…the biggest wolf I've ever seen! I bet that's the same one that was howling out there last night…oh god…" I panicked, still gripping Claire's arm. She made a face and shook me off. She shook her head and walked back over to the desk.

"Oh, I'm sure it was nothing!" she said.

"I saw it, Claire. It was a wolf! A huge, huge wolf!"

"It's just wolves. You're in Washington now. I'd just get used to it," She replied nonchalantly. I watched her take another look around my room, her eyes scanning her surroundings. Why was she not more concerned?

"But, there was just a giant wolf in my backyard! It was the size of a bear! Why is no one else around here bothered by any of this?" I fumed, glancing back at the window into the darkness.

Claire snorted and shook her head at me. "Regan, come on. Just don't go traipsing around the woods at night. I've never been attacked by anything, and I've lived here my whole life. Chill out," she said coolly.

Did anything bother this girl?

"Well, I'm sure my mom is almost done by now, so I'll go. If you ever want to paint-"

"Why would I want to paint my room? I like it just fine," I snapped at her.

She stopped midsentence, her dark eyes widening slightly. "Sorry. I was assuming you'd want to change this god awf-"

"Claire!" A voice rang up the stairs. She stopped again, giving me a crooked smile.

"Gotta go. See you tomorrow!" she chirped, turning on her heel. She left my room and I was left by myself again. I nervously looked out the window again, dreading what I would see.

I saw nothing. Just the backyard, covered in leaves and sticks that Charlie hadn't picked up yet. Safe so far.

That night in bed, I tossed and turned again. However, tonight it was a different nightmare. I dreamt of being lost in the deep, dark, Washington woods, unable to find my way out.

The brush was getting thicker and thicker the further I walked to try to find help. The trees and ferns seemed to grow menacing hands that pulled at my clothes, trying to keep me back. Then, out of nowhere, a pair of menacing eyes appeared in the darkness. The light from the moon shone down onto them, making them glint in the darkness. The animal pulled it's lips back to expose a row of dagger-like, sharp teeth that were waiting to rip me to shreds. I screamed and ran, trying to make my way through the dense forest, but it was no use. The animal seemed to move with complete ease as it chased me through the darkness. I turned around to see if it was gaining on me and tripped on a tree root. I turned around just in time to see it lunge at me, jaws open and eyes glowing.

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	5. Chapter 5

Seth

I returned home after patrol in the early hours of the morning, just as the morning fog was rising from the ground. I had to be at the station at eight, which was just a few short hours away, but I was used to going on about four hours of sleep on my patrol nights. I usually caught up on weekends since I had nothing else to do. Sure, I would hang out with the guys, spend time fishing with Charlie, or lolling around the house; however, most of my free time was spent doing a whole lot of nothing. I was literally frozen in time, waiting. And when that got monotonous…I would wait some more.

What I was waiting for…I couldn't exactly tell. However, the past few days I had felt better about my situation, although I wasn't sure why. It was something I couldn't put my finger on, and for once, I wasn't going to pry. I was tired of trying to figure everything out all the time; I was just going to let this happen. If I got offered a good day, then I would take it.

I woke up on Wednesday morning after my two and a half hours of sleep feeling somewhat rested. I glanced at my phone which had been buzzing next to my bed in Carlisle and Esme's old room for almost half an hour. I knew what it was about before I opened the text.

Friday. Brady's place. Plz bring beer? I look 21. Not fair!

I texted back hurriedly, wanting to stifle my younger pack mate, Zeke. The younger boys that shared a small cabin were having a party with some girls from Forks High and desperately wanted me to buy them beer for the occasion. Shaking my head, I texted back.

I'll be there, but I can't buy u beer man. Get real. Cop, hello?

I laughed as I stepped into the glass shower of the master suite. I did feel bad for them – the younger wolves were all still technically under twenty-one, but had looked like they were twenty-five for more years than was really fair. Their IDs stated their real ages, thus making it impossible for the grown men to buy alcohol. Not that it worked very well – our body heat made it hard to keep anything in our systems long, but sometimes the young boys would try. I didn't really have a problem with buying them beer; after all, they were all responsible, hardworking, and had experienced more than most adults had by the age of fifty. Personally, I didn't think that the six of them splitting a case or two of beer was the worst thing in the world, especially since they rarely drove anywhere period and would only be drunk for an hour tops. However, I valued my job as a police officer and still declined their pleas to be their buyer.

Collin, Brady, and Zeke all shared the rent on a small cabin between Forks and La Push, not far from me. The Cullen's house was about halfway between the two towns, and Jake and Nessie still lived in the cabin that belonged to her parents. The rest of the pack still resided in La Push, so we were well covered if an emergency arose.

As I walked into work, I brushed my still damp hair out of my eyes. It was shaggy and needed a cut, but the shorter it was the older I tended to look and…well, I felt my age on the inside, and I didn't need to be reminded of it.

I whistled as I pulled out my desk chair, plopping down. Charlie said nothing as he clicked away on his computer, ignoring my cheerful entrance as usual.

"Mornin'," I quipped, nodding at him over the small partition. He grunted a response, glancing over at me.

"Mornin', Seth. You're in a good mood today," he noted. "Out late last night?" he asked, raising one eyebrow at me.

I had to laugh to myself. That was Charlie's way of asking if I had patrol. Once he and Sue had been married, she had eventually spilled the beans about us kids phasing into giant animals. He, of course, knew about Jake, and had guessed that something was up with all of us. I can't tell if he was shocked or relieved to know that Bella and Jake weren't the only freaky ones hanging around Forks. Ever since Jake had phased in front of Charlie when Renesmee was born, he knew that something was up around these parts. He had asked a few questions over the years, and I had told him willingly. He knew that we were a pack, and he knew that we kept trouble out of the area…he just didn't know what that trouble was. He didn't know what his daughter or her family was either, other than just lucky for being so pretty. Charlie chose not to ask a lot of questions about that. However, he was family to me now and any question he wanted to ask, I would answer. Charlie wasn't exactly known as a gossiper anyway.

"Yeah, pretty late. But I'm used to it," I shrugged, downing a gulp of black coffee.

I grinned knowingly at him, and he shook his head with a slight smile. It had taken a few years, but I think he was used to it. Charlie trusted Leah and I, and I think he realized pretty quickly that we would never hurt him. In fact, I think it made him feel better about my choice to become a cop knowing that I couldn't be hurt as easily. Charlie rarely worried about sending me into any remotely dangerous situations. He didn't know the details about the pack, like how many of us there were, or how phasing worked, but…I think he knew enough.

I had to laugh…at times he still went by Jake's, 'need to know only' information policy.

"Everything went well I trust?" He asked, feigning interest. I chuckled to myself, nodding.

"Yeah, Charlie, all good."

He sipped his coffee, turning his attention to a clipboard in front of him. "Shift opened up Friday night. You want it?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I got plans, but thanks."

Charlie looked at me skeptically for a second before regaining his usual poker face. He coughed once, trying t mask his amusement. "Plans?"

I nodded, clicking through my emails on the rustic desktop in front of me. "Yes Charlie, I do have a life," I replied in a monotone voice.

"There's a uh…fishing trip I forgot about?" he asked suddenly, looking at his calendar on his desk. I laughed, tossing my head back. God, even Charlie thought I was a hopeless loser. We sometimes went fishing on Friday evenings after work, and he clearly thought that was what I was referring to.

"No, some of the guys are having a party, thought I'd make an appearance. No fishing, sorry, Charlie."

He nodded, looking somewhat relieved to not have to go fishing for some strange reason. Normally we liked to fish on fall evenings; the fish moved slower at night.

"You look like you had something planned anyway. Big date night with Sue?"

He shook his head. "No, uh…just want to be home. Leslie's girl is at our house now, and I just want to be around in case she needs anything," he said. "Seems shy."

I nodded. "Right…Renee's sister is Leslie, right? What did you say her name was?"

"Regan," Charlie answered, not looking up from his paperwork.

"Yeah, how's that going?"

Charlie snorted to himself, taking another sip of coffee. "Fine, 'cept some wolf wandered too close to the house last night….howled or something…scared the crap outta her."

I bit my lip and tried not to smile as he looked at me pointedly. "That's too bad," I said, shaking my head and playing along. "She'll have to get used to wolves in these parts," I replied in a cocky voice.

Charlie nodded, trying not to smirk. He was playing along. "I just hope they remember that she's a scared little girl in a new place and take it easy on the howling and traipsing around in the yard while she's getting used to things," he muttered, picking up the newspaper. I laughed, leaning back in my desk chair as I began to plan out my day.

I felt bad for scaring her, and absently wondered if I should back off when it came to patrolling around Sue and Charlie's.

"Wait, Charlie, how old is she? Little?"

"Well…young. She's sixteen."

"Oh…well she's almost an adult then, perfectly capable of learning to live with wolv-"

"Seth," he grumbled, cutting me off. I grinned at him.

"Sorry. I'll ease up. Don't wanna scare her."

"Thanks," he nodded at me, rolling his eyes soon after. I laughed at his antics that were humorous without his knowing; Charlie could be so entertaining sometimes.

I finished some paperwork and then set out in my rustic Chevy Bronco that the station let me use as both a personal vehicle, and as a work one. It was huge, old, and rusted but had four-wheel drive that could take me anywhere, and it always started, even in the cold. It was my kind of truck.

As I patrolled around town, I had to smile to myself. I had patrolled this area only hours before, and surprise, surprise, not much had changed. I wasn't complaining; that was the way I liked my sleepy little town for Forks. I drove around bored for most of the morning, letting more people out of speeding tickets than I should have. The day was just starting to get boring when I had a thought.

I wonder if that scent is still up at the high school?

My curiosity urged me to drive up to Forks High where I had smelled that new, inviting scent the night before. What was that? I thought to myself, pressing my lips into a thin line as I stopped at a crosswalk.

"Hey, Officer Clearwater," I heard a girly voice say, followed by a chorus of giggles. My face broke into a crooked grin as the group of high school girls laughed and waved at me in my car, but I tried to remain focused. The last thing I needed to do was flirt with jailbait around the high school, even if it was a confidence booster. I had been told many times that I was good looking by various friends that were girls and women I'd casually dated. Personally, I thought I still looked like I was 19 or 20, and not even old enough to be a police officer, much less be taken seriously.

I nodded at several of the students as I slowly rolled by the front of the high school. I did my best to keep a somewhat stern look on my face as they walked in front of my slowly moving vehicle towards the school. In human form, I was…shall we say less than intimidating? Leah always said it was because I tended to 'smile like an idiot' the majority of the time.

Is it a crime to be happy, Leah? I had asked her. I loved my big sister, even if she is one of the most misunderstood people on our reservation. On the outside, I could easily see how Leah could come off as a cold hearted bitch back in the old days when she was phasing. Could you blame her? I sure couldn't. But nowadays, she had stopped phasing, moved to Seattle, and was dating a great guy that was smart, good to her, and most importantly – not Quileute. I knew that the only thing my sister wanted for me was my happiness.

I put the Bronco in park near the edge of the parking lot and sniffed. My nose wasn't half as strong as it was when I was in wolf form, but it was still enhanced. I smelled hundreds of different scents and fragrances there but that one definitely stuck out. The exact fragrance of it was hard to place, but it was definitely one of the best ones I had come across.

A group of kids walked by the open window of the Bronco talking and laughing, making me jump out of my reverie and appear normal again. It probably wasn't a good idea for the town cop to be caught sniffing around the high school – literally.

That night, I returned home to the empty Cullen house to relax. I didn't have patrol, so I knew that I had some time to relax and get to bed early if I wanted to. It was October, so it was just starting to get cold outside and darker earlier as the time change loomed before us. Sighing, I took off my gun and hung it safely on the hook inside the coat closet, up far enough that pretty much only I could reach it.

I had lucked out height wise – I wasn't quite as tall as our Alpha, Jake, but I was near the 6'5" measurement, according to Carlisle's medical records. My tall, lean body was a tad on the lanky side compared to some of my other pack mates, but that did allow me to run faster than almost all of them. What I lacked in bulk, I made up for in speed. My still-young looking face had dark brown eyes, just like the rest of my pack mates, and slightly shaggy black hair.

I tossed my keys by the door, looking around the entryway somewhat expectantly. Maybe I needed to buy a dog. Maybe that would help fill some of this void that I had when I came home to an empty house. Chiding myself for sounding like a whiny girl, I walked over to the large kitchen to make myself a meal. Although it was amazing, sometimes the Cullen house seemed too big and empty to be considered 'homey' and 'inviting.'

My stomach rumbled as I opened the refrigerator. The lunch I had had with Charlie at the diner had been good, but not nearly what I required to be full. As I made myself the usual five ham and turkey sandwiches, I caught myself glaring at the plastic containers that lined my refrigerator shelves.

I felt a jealous feeling creep over me as I carried the plate over to the table by the windows to eat. Over the years, Quil and I had become really close, and I had also formed a close friendship with his imprint Claire. Claire was fifteen, and she had been his imprint since she was two. She was an adorable girl; a little bit of a stubborn brat at times, but that was just Claire. Quil's imprint had always been pushy and impatient and had a loud mouth since she was a toddler. But we still loved her; she was always smiling and talking to everyone, along with being really smart and studious, too.

But best of all in my book was the fact that she was very interested in learning how to cook. She was always making Quil all sorts of elaborate casseroles, roasts, and concoctions. That guy never went hungry, especially dating the girl whose mother worked at the town grocery store. All in all, she was a really good kid, and I envied my best friend for lucking out and finding Claire, even if he did have to wait a few more years for her to grow up. I still was jealous of him, not in a bad way, but in a good one. I was happy for him, yet I wanted what he was going to have eventually.

I caught my reflection in the glass windows that lined the back of the kitchen near the dining room. My eyes scanned over my still-young face and I couldn't help but wish that I was slowly growing old. But I wouldn't be doing it alone; I wanted to have the love of my life beside me – my imprint. I was always more than happy to attend the weddings of my pack brothers, hear about new babies, and see their families grow. How could I not be happy for them? They had everything I wanted for myself and more.

I gave my plate of sandwiches another dirty look as I longed for the love and companionship that went with imprinting.

Would it ever be my turn?

I didn't have much time to sulk before my phone buzzed. I couldn't help but grin through my food-filled mouth when I saw who it was.

"What's up sis?" I mumbled through the half chewed sandwich.

"Imagine my little brother eating…again," she said in mock-seriousness. "Did I catch you at a bad time?" she teased.

"No," I snapped playfully, swallowing my food. "Just eatin' dinner."

"McDonalds or Burger King?"

"Neither. Sandwiches at home."

"Sounds lovely."

"Tell me about it," I replied, my voice dropping a bit.

"Are you okay?" Leah asked. I could hear the concern in my big sister's voice. The last thing I needed her to do right now was go into overprotective big sister mode.

"Leah, you didn't call me to ask what I'm having for dinner."

She sighed into the phone, and I knew that was her guilty sigh for avoiding my problems and moving on with her news.

"You're right. But this isn't over. We're coming back to you."

"Right," I laughed, taking another bite. "Spill."

"Punk. Okay, well, I already told mom, but…I'm engaged."

"You sound thrilled," I laughed. "Not the type to scream and jump up and down?"

"I did that already. Besides…you know me. I'm happy, just not looking forward to planning a whole wedding."

"I getcha. Just let mom do it…she'd love that. So you and Scott are happy? He'd better take care of you from now on, cuz if he doesn't, tell him you've got a big little brother that will pound his face in," I laughed.

Leah giggled a little nervously, and I knew why. She hadn't imprinted; hell, we didn't even know if female wolves could imprint. However, there was that slight chance that she could. We all knew how big of a risk she was taking by ignoring her wolf heritage and starting a relationship with Scott. But, I had to commend her. She had placed her happiness above our heritage as wolves and had made herself happy. Would I eventually have to do the same?

"He knows," she replied smoothly, and I could tell that Scott must have been in the room. I had no problem with Scott – he was a great guy, really outgoing and friendly, and just perfect for my reserved, serious at times sister.

We chatted about her life for a few more minutes before I heard her stand. I heard the sound of a sliding door opening and closing, and I knew she must be on her apartment's balcony.

"Seth, have you thought about dating?"

I was quiet for a moment as I scowled down at my sandwich. "Yeah, Leah…I just…I don't know."

Leah was quiet for a moment, as was I. Neither one of us knew what to say.

"I just…I want to grow old with my baby brother. I don't want you to be stuck like this and have me be eighty!" she finally said, her voice rising a few octaves. I felt horrible for upsetting my mom and sister, but this was my choice to wait.

"Leah, it'll be alright. I just…I can't not look for her. And I don't want to be old when I finally find her. I can't stop phasing now."

"Seth, some of us don't imprint. We know this. It's supposed to be rare!"

"You of all people are going to be the one to tell me that old line again?" I responded somewhat snappily. She was quiet a moment, and I felt bad for being snarky to my sister. No one understood how I felt about this.

"Seth, I just want you to be happy. I've…I've finally found it myself and I want it for you. Is that so bad?"

"Of course not Lee. But I don't want you to worry about me. Please don't, especially now that things are going so well for you. I just…I have this feeling. She's out there Leah…she's gotta be."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	6. Chapter 6

Regan

Day two. Here we go… I thought to myself as I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail. I groaned when I spotted the large circles under my eyes.

I spent half the night lying awake in my bed, worrying about the wolf that I had heard in the yard earlier. That was something I definitely hadn't experienced in the city. The bone chilling noise echoed in my ears all night as I envisioned huge, hairy beasts lunging at me with their razor like, blood covered teeth.

"Stupid," I chided myself, smoothing the hair away from my face. Observing my long, dark brown hair in the mirror, I was glad that I had tossed the idea of cutting it months ago. I was never a 'short hair' kind of girl and my thick locks were one of my few attractive features. My hair was parted to the side and it usually hung over at least one side of my face to hide my plain green eyes. I was short too, so that paired with my mediocre looks made me utterly forgettable in my opinion.

I ate breakfast with Charlie in agreeable silence. My aunt Renee had never said much about Charlie in the few times I had seen her growing up, so I really hadn't known what to expect. She didn't speak of him like women typically did their ex husbands; full of bitterness, regret, and dislike. No, what she said about Charlie had been short but complimentary. I liked Charlie; he was easy to deal with. He didn't ask many questions; he didn't pry; and most importantly, he didn't make me feel like I needed to be making polite conversation when I was with him. Sue was a bit harder. She was always asking questions, smiling, and trying to get me to open up – I could already tell she was going to be a piece of work.

"I'm taking you to school. Sue had to work early," he said gruffly, placing his empty coffee cup in the sink. I nodded, picking up my backpack and following him to the driveway. I paused nervously before climbing into his slightly rusted police cruiser. The last time I had been in a police car was after I had gotten caught using my mother's stolen credit card and it hadn't been a pleasant experience.

Charlie noticed my pause and shook his head. "It's just a car," he muttered, bringing it to life with a turn of the key. "People hate riding in these things. Bella always used to, anyway."

I looked over at him as he spoke her name. Something about it just seemed…sad. I waited a few more minutes into the short ride before bringing it up again.

"Do you miss her?" I asked finally. He rolled down the busy street in front of the high school. He nodded at several people as the car rolled to a stop in front of the building, and nodded his head curtly.

"I do. But it's nice to have you around. And Leah and Seth."

"Sue has a son?"

"Yup," he said, squinting up at the sky through the glass window. "Bella visits…" he trailed off, glancing back down. I watched his face as he spoke of her, and it seemed pained somehow.

"But?" I prodded. I knew I was being rude, but I wanted to be nosy. I really wanted to know more about that girl in the picture.

"Nothing. She…she's married now, with a…family," he said, choking out the words.

"She does? How many kids?" I asked. At this point, I was just avoiding school.

"Uh, just one. Say, isn't that first bell gonna ring here in…oh…three minutes?" he asked, looking at his watch. I glanced down at my cell phone in my hand, frowning.

"You know the bell schedules at the high school?" I asked in disbelief. Charlie looked chagrined for a moment, then nodded shortly again.

"Small town. Truancy. Got a job to do," he replied gruffly, looking over at me. I bit my lip, looking over at him. There was something strange about the way he changed the subject that I wasn't sure I understood. It was almost like…he didn't want to talk about Bella?

I wasn't sure, but I didn't have much time to worry about it either. The bell rang, signaling that I was already late for my first class.

"You'd better go…don't want you to be too late," Charlie muttered, nodding toward the building.

"Fine," I muttered, stepping out into the light drizzle that had begun to fall. Charlie rolled down the window to the cruiser to speak.

"Tell Mr. Kirk that I was running late," he said. I froze, realizing that Charlie knew the name of at least one of my teachers, and even that I had him first period. Maybe I should give Charlie more credit that I have been. My stomach twisted a little bit as I realized that getting anything by him would most likely not be an easy feat.

I gave him a weak smile and turned towards the building, glaring upwards at the sky. Did it ever stop raining here? Heaving a sigh, I slung my book bag over my shoulder and made my way to my first class. I didn't even really care if I had the right books at this point.

School dragged by again and I talked to even less people today than I did yesterday. I saw Claire again, but she didn't even see me this time – she was too busy talking and laughing with a group of girls as they flounced down the hallway. I felt more like an outsider than ever.

At lunch, I made my way to the cafeteria and looked around for an empty table. Crap, there were none. Every table had at least one or two other people at it, meaning it would be impossible for me to sit alone again.

"You can sit here," a voice said. I looked over to see two girls sitting at the same table I had claimed the day before. It had been the only empty one available.

"Oh, uh…thanks," I mumbled, tossing my book bag on the ugly cafeteria floor. I pulled out a chair, setting down the bagged lunch that Sue had packed for me, making sure I was sitting a safe distance away from my company.

The first girl noticed and giggled quietly. "We don't bite," she said flatly, then glanced at her friend. "Well, Courtney does," she added with a snort. The other girl shoved her in the shoulder, and then glanced up at me.

"I'm Mackenzie…but call me Kenz," she said, brushing her blonde hair out of her eyes.

"Courtney," the other echoed. Both girls were dressed fashionably, albeit a bit racy for school in my opinion. It wasn't that I cared though; I just had heard that 'no cleavage at school' speech from plenty of principals and teachers over the years. Kenz had blonde hair that looked like it had been dyed too many times, judging by the looks of her dark roots. Courtney had dark brown hair that was perfectly styled and coiffed around her pale face and too large nose. Neither girl was particularly good looking, but that was masked by expensive looking clothes, dyed hair, makeup, and jewelry. I looked down at my own outfit self consciously; black skinny jeans, plain black flats, and a red sweater. Not exactly the epitome of cool compared to these girls, but did I care? Suddenly, I did. They were dressed to the nines and here I was in my dorky sweater. Great.

"So you must be new or something," Courtney prodded, looking over at me. Mackenzie, or Kenz, continued to sit next to me, twirling her dyed hair and looking bored.

"Yeah, I uh…started yesterday," I said, opening my sack lunch. I winced when I pulled out a sandwich with a smiley face written in permanent marker on the top of the baggie. Super.

Courtney glanced down at my food, snorting to herself, but said nothing. Kenz followed her gaze, her eyes widening at Sue Clearwater's obvious attempt to ensure that I had no friends – ever.

"Yeah, we were…gone, yesterday," she finally said. Courtney giggled, and Kenz soon joined in. What was I missing?

"Oh?" I asked hopefully, suddenly curious where kinds went in this po-dunk town to ditch. These two had a confident ere about them that told me they weren't wild about school and had no qualms about skipping most of it. These were people I needed to get in good with.

"We met some guys who kept us out pretty late…" Courtney breathed her eyes un-focusing slightly.

"Were they hot or something?" I asked awkwardly, looking over at Kenz. She nodded.

"Yeah, they were from La Push."

"Am I supposed to know what that is?" I asked.

They explained to me that it was a reservation for a local tribe that was located a short distance from Forks and when the boy selection got meager here, they would drive up there to hang out sometimes down on the beach. Apparently they had met some boys there a few nights ago that had interested them and they had been invited to a party this weekend. Bingo.

They extended the invitation to me, and it included a promise for beer and boys. I didn't really care for either one of these girls, but I was determined to have a little bit of fun in this town. How else was I going to forget what had happened in Phoenix? I had been miserable there and I was determined to not be miserable here. And besides…beer helped forget things and not feel and I needed that right now.

When Friday finally came, I was grateful. I had made it a few more days without seeing or hearing from the awful wolf that had been outside my window and I felt better about school. I still wasn't crazy about Kenz and Courtney; however, they were friends, and I was in no position to pass up friends in this dead little town. There was literally nothing to do – there wasn't even a Wal-Mart, much less entertainment for a teenage girl. For the most part as I floated through the week. Sue tried harder and harder to get to know me and I felt bad for pushing her away – I just wasn't ready yet. Charlie was more my type with his quiet, gruff demeanor and few questions asked.

"Any plans for tonight?" he asked me at dinner. I looked up at Charlie over my green beans and nodded. I was raised a vegetarian and my wacky mother had insisted I eat all organic foods for most of my life. By age sixteen, I was pretty used to it.

"Yeah, uh…some girls from school asked me to go to the movies. They're picking me up at 9," I lied. We were really going to La Push to a party that one of the hot guys they had spoken of was hosting. I felt bad lying to Charlie, but….I wasn't stupid. He was still a cop. He wouldn't let me out of the house if he knew what I had planned.

"Little late to go for a movie isn't it?" he asked. I shrugged, thinking quickly.

"No, um...a new movie came out that we really want to see and we just wanted to avoid the lines," I answered hopefully, giving him my best 'trust me' smile. He nodded, scooping up more meatloaf.

"Just…be careful. Call if you're going to be out after midnight."

"Do I have a curfew?" I challenged slightly, raising an eyebrow at him. Charlie was stern but I was quickly learning that he wasn't as stern when Sue wasn't around. She was working late and doing inventory at the Piggly Wiggly bakery tonight, leaving me and Charlie leftovers in the oven for tonight.

"No, just…try not to make it too late?" he kind of asked and stated at the same time. I nodded, looking back down at my green beans. Suddenly, I wasn't very hungry after lying to Charlie.

I got ready fairly quickly after we finished eating, throwing on jeans and a simple black top. I tried dressing it up with one of the few necklaces that I had brought with me, and slipped on a pair of black boots to finish that off. I pulled my wavy, dark brown hair out of the messy ponytail that it had been in all day, fluffed it, and decided to just let it hang down. I completed my look with some lip gloss, dark eye shadow, and some black eyeliner to complete the 'dark' look. The past week had been so stressful that all I really wanted to do was get my hands on some alcohol and throw it back as quickly as possible to help myself relax.

I didn't really like the taste of alcohol but I have to say I'm pretty crazy about the way it makes me feel; all numb and fuzzy, like nothing matters. When you're drunk or high, things just don't hurt as much.

I waited at the window that had a clear view of the street, knowing that I would see Kenz's car as it turned onto Charlie's road. After a few minutes, I saw her little black Pontiac pull onto Charlie's street and I bolted downstairs before Sue had a chance to come home and ask where I was going.

"Have a good time," Charlie muttered, glancing up at me as I raced out.

"Thanks!" I called over my shoulder, slamming the front door shut. I grinned when I saw Courtney hanging out the window of Kenz's car, motioning wildly for me to get inside.

"Come on!" she hissed. "We're gonna be late!"

"Shh! Police chief, remember?" I laughed, climbing into the backseat. This was it; it was really happening. I was escaping from Forks for at least a little while. It had been a long first week, and I couldn't wait to blow off some steam. She sped off and raced along some back roads to an even smaller town, labeled by the mossy wooden sign, 'La Push'. I rolled my eyes as I saw the population count on the sign, resisting the urge to snort in disgust. How did these people survive and not go crazy seeing the same god damn people all the time?

Kenz pulled up to a small, cabin looking house that was off the main road. We walked inside out of the frigid air and my stomach was alive with nervous butterflies. Why was I so nervous? I could really care less what these small town people thought of me, but for some reason I wanted them to like me.

Courtney practically shoved me through the door when I paused, making me stumble slightly as I went through the door.

"Whoa, careful there," a deep voice said. I looked up, and I mean up, to a tall boy's brown face and white teeth. He grinned at me, catching my elbow before I could fall to the ground.

"Sorry," I mumbled, dropping my eyes. We walked into the loud little house that was crammed with people talking and laughing over the music that was playing. It was a small place but extremely warm in both temperature and atmosphere; as soon as we walked in, we were surrounded by several dark skinned, bright eyed boys that were huge.

There must be something in the water up here…Jesus! I thought, looking at all of them. There had to be at least ten gargantuan sized boys in the room, all with the same tan skin and rippling muscles that were clearly visible through their shirts. We weren't the only girls there; in fact, several of the girls that were already there tossed us a few dirty glances when the boys started talking to us.

"No one's driving, right?" one tall boy asked, looking at the three of us. I glanced nervously at Kenz, who was shaking her head 'no'. I had a feeling she was lying just to get the red plastic cup out of the boy's hand, but I wasn't about to let that stop me from having some fun for tonight. He smiled and handed us each a cup full of beer which I downed immediately. He just flashed his white teeth at me and laughed, handing me another one.

"Got any pot?" Courtney purred at one of them. A sterner looking boy stepped forward, shaking his head.

"No, no drugs. Just beer tonight girls," he replied, brushing his slightly shaggy hair out of his eyes.

One of the other boys glared at him and shoved him on the shoulder. "Geez Embry, lay off it already," he laughed. The shaggy haired boy winked at Courtney, who giggled to herself at the attention. I tried not to roll my eyes at her. Kenz and Courtney weren't really my favorite people in the world so far, but hanging out with them was better than holding down the fort with Charlie all night.

I continued to drink and make small talk with the tan-skinned boys around me, and then I saw him. He was tall, dark, and far more handsome than all the other guys there I had seen. Kenz and Courtney went off on their own to talk and flirt, leaving me standing in the kitchen next to the beer. He sauntered over to me, not taking his eyes from mine. He was perfect.

My breath caught in my throat a little as he finally made his way through the crowded kitchen to stand towering in front of me. I swallowed a little, taking in his dark, handsome features and spiky black hair. His dark brown eyes bore into mine, giving me chills of delight at the sudden new attention. He was single handedly the hottest thing I had ever seen and I couldn't believe he was even looking at me. Since when did guys this good looking even give me a second glance? This all seemed too good to be true.

He stepped closer to me and I could smell his spicy scent as I breathed in a little faster, trying to calm myself. Holding out his hand, he cocked his head to the side.

"You must be new around here; I've never seen you around."

I shook it, letting my arm tingle as he shook it. "Regan," I managed to stutter, staring into his deep brown eyes. He smiled, giving me a self assured flirtatious smile.

"I'm Brady."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	7. Chapter 7

Seth

"You seem down today…What gives?" my mother prodded gently. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I buttoned my white shirt, rolling up the sleeves slightly. Tonight I was determined to not look like a mangy slob when I went to the younger boys' party.

"Nothing, mom, why?" I practically shouted into the phone on the bathroom counter. She was doing inventory at the store tonight and was bored; hence, a motherly 'update me' phone call was in order. I was talking to her on speakerphone as I got ready to go out.

"You just seem…sad. I don't know; I can hear it in your voice. A mother knows these things, Seth."

"Mom, I'm twenty-seven. You gotta stop worrying about me," I chided her, unbuttoning the top few buttons. What did I have to lose? Maybe I should try for a one-night stand…I'm getting antsy…eh, I don't wanna be a man whore like Brady and Embry…

"You're twenty-three."

"Twenty-seven, technically," I insisted. She laughed into the phone and insisted again that I was twenty-three. A few years ago, those of us who weren't aging had decided that we would go with the age we looked instead of our technical ages. Take Embry for example. He was technically thirty-one, yet he still looked like he was only about twenty-one. Talk about weird.

"Hey, I'm still getting used to the whole not-aging thing too, ya know," my mom insisted with another laugh. Suddenly, her voice got seriously. "I'm just worried about you, baby. It's just…hard to watch you stay like this."

"Like what, mom? I'm actively phasing; you know I'm not gonna age. It's just…something we gotta get used to is all."

"I know, I know," she insisted. "But…I would like to see some of my grandkids before I die."

I laughed, straightening my collar. "Yeah, well, believe me, mom; I'd like to just give up and move on too. But you know how that could turn out. Do I need to remind you?"

"No, no of course not. You're sure you're okay? You're really sure you won't just…stop and age?"

"No, mom, I'm sure. She's out there; I know it."

"Uh huh," she said through the phone, and I could almost see her disapproving glare.

"I do ...and I have to go," I laughed, picking my phone up off the bathroom counter. I slapped a little gel in my shaggy black hair and arranged it just right before striding out of the bathroom. She laughed and bid me goodbye, and I couldn't help but love my mom – always looking out for me. Her relationship with Charlie was good and strong, and I was very thankful that my mom had found such a great guy to marry after my dad. I would have never dreamt of anyone replacing my dad, or Harry Clearwater as most knew him, yet, Charlie had been a surprisingly good option for her. He was everything I would have wanted for my mom; loyal, kind, hardworking, and he adored her and would pretty much do anything she asked him to.

I tried to push my mother's concerned voice out of my mind as I added a bit of cologne that Leah had given me for Christmas last year, added a leather bracelet for accessory, and even slipped on a watch since I wouldn't be phasing tonight. Alice and Esme would have been proud of me for taking some time with my appearance tonight. I really missed my adopted family at times like these; maybe I would have to go up for a visit sometime soon, I thought.

I jumped into my Bronco and made the engine roar up in the empty garage, making sure I had what I needed tucked under my car seat; a bottle of Black Label, 100 proof Jim Beam. It was nasty stuff but some of the strongest out there that didn't taste like straight rubbing alcohol. It was pretty much the only thing I could stand to drink an entire bottle of without puking, yet it made me drunk for at least an hour or two. I didn't usually drink but tonight it felt fitting.

I arrived at the party and saw all the usual faces; a few of our oldest pack members were there with their girlfriends but most of the guests were the younger wolves, their un-phased friends, practically every girl from the rez, and even a few pale faces from Forks. People looked at me nervously as I walked in because they all knew I was a cop in Forks, but I simply smiled and made my way to the tiny kitchen.

"Great party," I said, slapping Zeke a high five. He grinned, raising his eyebrows as he surveyed his crammed little house that he shared with Brady and Collin.

"Yeah, not too bad. And before you ask, Officer Clearwater, no one is driving," he playfully sneered. I made a face at him before glancing around at all the red plastic cups and beer cans scattered around on every available flat surface. "Uh, yeah, good thing," I said, rolling my eyes.

He laughed at me as I walked away, trying to find some of the older guys to talk to. I loved my younger pack mates but sometimes they were really immature when it came to get togethers like these. It was all about being loud, getting drunk, and meeting any girl they could get their hands on. Given their physiques and good looks, that generally wasn't too hard.

"Try to stay out of trouble," I said in a low voice as I walked by two of our younger boys, Aaden and Astin. They were twin brothers and a favorite with the girls around town. They both chuckled at me and punched me in the shoulder as I made my way through the crowd. I said my 'hellos' and made small talk with a few of the guys there, but eventually that all grew old. All they wanted to talk about was how much they had already had to drink or what girls were there so far. Eventually I retreated to the small porch that was in the back of the house to open my bottle of Jim Beam.

Cracking open the cold beer in my hand for a chaser, I raised the bottle to my lips and took a long chug of the spicy brown liquid and cringed a little. The first few chugs always made my stomach turn a bit.

Six beers and half the bottle later, I was finally starting to feel a little better when Quil came trotting out of the woods. He yelped at me until I tossed him a pair of shorts that were hanging on the back rail, which he grabbed with his teeth in midair. I laughed at him as he went behind the trees to phase.

"Sup?" He asked, ambling up to the back porch. I nodded at him, opening my jacket to reveal the bottle.

"Nice," he commented, snorting at my efforts. "That's the good stuff," he added, plopping down on the lawn chair next to me.

I looked at him skeptically and then at the groaning chair. "You're gonna break that," I said flatly, tossing my hair out of my face.

"Grumpy are we?" he asked with a laugh.

I shook my head no. "Nah, just had the usual chat with mom before I came here. She wants me to give it up," I admitted. Quil stopped smiling and nodded at me.

"I can see how she would say that," he said with a shrug. I nodded, leaning my head against the back of the house. Quil used to be best friends with Jacob but since Jacob had to keep a low profile with Nessie, he was rarely seen in public around La Push. I had actually grown pretty close to Quil over the years and considered him one of my best friends.

"Shouldn't you be patrolling?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Yeah…Everything's good. Just taking a break to come chat you up bro," he laughed, grabbing a beer off the porch railing where I had stacked them. He downed it in about two gulps and then crushed the can with a satisfying crunch.

"Claire's in bed already, so I got bored," he finally admitted. I chuckled at him, glancing back inside at the party.

"What, you mean you didn't wanna bring her here to party with all the lovely locals? Come on Quil!"

He shook his head quickly. "Hell no. They're drinking in there. Claire's only fifteen, and she…well…she just doesn't need to be doing that," he grumbled, glaring at the party inside. "She's too good."

I spent the next hour or so chatting with Quil about random pack activity. We hadn't had too many rouge vampires around lately since the Cullens left town so our numbers were remaining steady and not increasing by volumes like they did years ago. Right now, we were sitting pretty comfortably numbers wise, which I was relieved for. Bigger numbers meant less time patrolling and better odds should a fight arise. Quil finally left around eleven thirty, claiming he had things to do and places to go…which I knew really meant he was going to sleep under Claire's window like a guard dog. The party was still going in full swing, and I knew that I should probably go check on things inside to make sure they weren't getting too out of hand. My too sensitive ears told me that someone was already having sex in Brady's room towards the back of the house; my gut told me that it was probably Brady himself. He never wasted much time in situations like these.

I finished my bottle of Jim Beam, noting how much smoother it went down now that I had a nice buzz going. Making my way into the house, I saw that it was a little less crowded than before, but still just as noisy and wild. Several of my pack mates were chatting up girls, and I had to laugh at them.

Pups, I thought to myself with a slightly drunken chuckle. Oh well, they would learn eventually.

I walked down the back hallway towards the bathroom so that I could splash some cold water on my face; I was getting really hot and sometimes cold water was the only thing that helped cool me down. When I was done I exited the tiny room, cringing at the smell of sex that hung in the air near Brady's room. Yup, that was definitely what that was.

But…it was mixed with something else. Something familiar and exciting…almost intoxicating…

I didn't have any more time to think before the door opened and there she was.

"Asshole," she spat, slamming the door behind her. She shoved past me in the tiny hallway, not even giving me a second glance. Brady opened the door a few seconds later, zipping up his pants and laughing to himself as he watched her leave.

I could barely notice.

You know how sometimes people describe the shocked feeling they get as 'having the rug pulled out from beneath you?' Well, this felt like the entire earth was being pulled out from beneath me. My breath hitched in my throat as I sputtered for air, and yet, air didn't even matter anymore. Nothing mattered. Except for her.

I took a shaky breath as I braced myself on the wall. The room began to spin but as I looked at her disappearing form, I couldn't help but feel like she was the one suddenly holding me steady. It was like concrete footings, or a parachute, or steel cables. It was exciting but safe; foreign but comforting – in that instant, she became everything I would ever need again in life. I felt like I had just had the life breathed back into me after drowning! I couldn't even make my brain find words to describe how I felt at that moment.

My head began to spin slightly as I stood in the hallway gaping at her back as she stalked away from me. Where was she going? Why was she leaving? And why the fuck did she smell like…Brady?

I was brought back to reality as Brady began to howl and cackle beside me. "Oh, shit!" he yelled, bending over with laugher.

"You did not just i-imprint on…t-that little tramp!" he guffawed loudly. "Oh my god Seth – really?"

I instinctively growled, forgetting that we were around other people. In one swift motion, I grabbed him by the little bit of lose skin near his neck and slammed him against the wall like a real wolf would to a pesky puppy.

"I'll deal with you later," I spat, suddenly shaking with rage. I let him down, my eyes wide at what I had just done. I had never ever lashed out at a brother for anything in my life, even as a new wolf. I was without doubt one of the most easy going wolves in the pack, and yet here I was, growling and shaking and ready to phase on Brady for saying something nasty about my imprint. Wait…my imprint…

My attention snapped back to the breathtaking girl that had just moved from Brady's room. Where had she gone? I caught myself snarling at him one last time before quickly striding from the hallway. The loud music nearly shook the little house and there were people everywhere in my way. I tried to be polite and wait for people to move out of the way, but I simply had to get to her. She was my imprint! I couldn't believe the sheer magnitude of what had just happened to me. I had imprinted. I, Seth Clearwater, had found my imprint. My search was over! She looked a few years younger than me, but that was okay. I would phase for a few more years and then I would age with her. She smelled so good! I followed her scent through the little house, pushing people to the side as gently as I could to get to her.

Where had she gone? Had I already lost her? Shit…

I finally broke through the crowd and burst out of the house, searching frantically for her. Several groups of people stood on the front porch and around in the driveway but my eyes went straight to her. She was standing to the side of the house, furiously wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. My chest began to ache and throb as I watched her cry, and I wanted nothing more than to comfort her.

The feeling was absolutely insane, but I loved it. I had seen this girl less than a minute ago, and yet here I was, practically beside myself because she appeared to be upset. I was ready to dismember someone for making her cry. I would have stepped in front of a train for this girl. The feeling was already indescribable.

The only thing I wanted to do was get a better look at her; my imprint. God, just thinking the words together in my head made my chest almost explode with elation and bliss. My. Imprint.

I loped over to her quickly and her head shot up as she cowered away behind the corner of the house. Did she not want my help? How could she not? I would do anything for her. I just wanted to see her.

I ducked around the house where she had gone and then there she was suddenly, standing right in front of me. Her…my imprint. I thought my heart was going to combust in my chest from the sheer happiness I felt to have finally found her.

She looked up at me and our eyes met for the first time, and at that moment, I think the sky could have fallen down around me and I would have just laughed and looked for someone to give a high five to. Preferably her.

I was a goner with one look.

She had the biggest green eyes I had ever seen and my enhanced vision allowed me to see all of the complex swirls of browns and yellows in her bright irises. Her dark, thick eyelashes framed them perfectly, almost swooping up to her eyebrows when she blinked. Her small, round face was slightly pale, but her cheeks were the prettiest pink that had ever been created. Her lips were full and plump, slightly swollen and shining with some sort of girly gloss. I loved it.

Her hair hung down on either side of her face in perfectly sculpted waves of dark chocolate brown, framing her cute, innocent face. I trailed my eyes down her small body and realized that she was actually quite short; not skinny, but definitely not fat. She looked just how a girl should look; healthy, curvy, and feminine. She was the prettiest thing I had ever seen.

The angelic girl in front of me sniffled loudly, wiping away several of the large tears that had pooled and fallen down her cheeks. Her breath hitched in her throat from her sobs, and she bit her lip in embarrassment. I looked around us, trying to see why she was crying; my mind told me that I should know, but I couldn't make my brain work the way I wanted to. Focus, damn it…oh god, look at her…

"W-what are you l-looking at?" she finally stammered, her voice ringing like Christmas bells in my ears. Her voice was light but raspy, firm but not overbearing. It sounded like heaven.

"I-I…" stammered, trying to form words. She sniffed again, wiping away a fresh set of tears.

"Go away!" she shrieked, turning away from me.

My jaw dropped open at her command. Suddenly, I felt like I was a new wolf pup all over again, cowering at my old Alpha, Sam's, orders. My own breath caught in my throat as I struggled to fight the sudden urge I was feeling to turn around and walk away like she said to.

"But-"

"Go!" she commanded again. My chest began to tighten and shake slightly as my body actually obeyed. It felt like Sam and Jake's Alpha orders combined in my body, making me bow to their commands – but this was ten times worse. This actually hurt to disobey.

She stared at me with her huge green eyes as I felt myself start to walk away. Five minutes in and my imprint was already ordering me away from her.

I turned, my chest aching and my hands trembling, and walked away from her.


	8. Chapter 8

Regan

I should have known that it was a bad idea to let him have sex with me when he didn't even bother to take my clothes off all the way.

His name was Brady and he was easily the most gorgeous guy that had ever given me a second look that was for sure. I have had about six beers at that point, so it didn't take him much coercing to get me into his bedroom at the end of the hall. I still couldn't believe he was even looking at me, much less wanting to get me alone. As he led me down the hallway, past all the people standing around us, I couldn't help but feel a little better about myself and that was really what I needed right now. I had been used and tossed aside like a nobody so many times lately that it felt nice to suddenly be the center of attention and important. I felt needed.

I think I talked to him for at least half an hour before we ended up in his bedroom. I kept downing beers and he kept giving them to me. I wanted to forget about home; forget about what had happened to me; forget running away; my problems, Charlie, Sue…this helped. Beer and Brady – problem solved.

He was a smooth talker – I'll give him that. He asked about me, complimented me, and made me feel special, like I was the only girl in the room. That I liked. I don't remember the last time I felt special. When someone violates you like I had been, it takes a lot for you to even feel like yourself again; it took everything to feel special again.

Before I knew it, the beer made me giggle at everything he said and I didn't protest when he pressed his extremely hot mouth against mine for the first time. He tasted like beer and whiskey but I didn't mind that. Brady was nice for the most part; he wasn't the best kisser in the world, but did that really matter in a situation like this?

I ran my hands down the front of his black t-shirt as we kissed; our tongues fighting for dominance in each other's mouth. He was rough; rougher than I would have really liked when it came to kissing. When his hand made its way up my shirt I began to get nervous – was I ready to do this? Ever since I had been attacked in Phoenix by the guy I thought was my friend, I had felt so empty and alone. They were all guys that I knew – Brady was the first one I had done this with that was completely new and unknown. My stomach fluttered nervously as his hot hand ran up under my shirt and under my bra, roughly pushing it up. The elastic strained against his large hand and he quickly solved that by reaching back and unhooking it hastily. He hurriedly ripped my sweater and bra the rest of the way off, letting his hand grope at my breasts forcefully. I began to panic a little as my mind took me back a few months and I think he must have been able to tell that I was nervous. His lips slowed against mine as he pulled away to look at me.

"You alright baby?" he purred, letting his tongue slide down my earlobe. He sucked it for a second; sending a pleasant, reassuring chill down my spine. I did want this – or at least my body did.

"Uh, yeah," I whispered. I glanced around his dark bedroom, spying the bed. I wanted this but I also wanted to get it over with. What the hell was wrong with me?

He followed my eyes and gave me a cocky smile. "I think I know how to make you feel better," he laughed while I giggled nervously. Yes, this was what I wanted. Brady was extremely hot and I wanted nothing more than to just be with him for even a few minutes. Well, and the beer helped that too.

We collapsed on the bed and things progressed rather quickly from there. He barely pulled my pants down far enough to slip his fingers inside my panties and find my entrance. Brady's large fingers stretched me uncomfortably, but I just bit into his shoulder as he worked. It did feel good to be touched like this again, even if it was a little scary. He moved against me, laying wet, sloppy kisses along my neck as he jammed his fingers further inside, hitting a spot deep within my walls that made me jump and sigh in pleasure. Maybe he did know what he was doing after all.

I bit my lip as he continued to stroke that spot, bringing me closer and closer. I turned my head to try to kiss him on the mouth but he simply kissed the side of my face and continued to bite and suck at my neck. I gasped and moaned a little as my body began to climb…and then he yanked his hand out of me and rushed to the side of the bed.

My stomach twisted as my breaths came in pants of disappointment. I had been so close and it had felt so good…why did he stop? When I heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper I understood. This wasn't about foreplay. He returned, giving me a quick, chaste kiss on the mouth as he rolled it onto himself. I couldn't see anything in the dark room and I exhaled in discomfort as he moved my underwear to the side just enough, and then he shoved himself between my legs; burying his thickness in me. My eyes opened widely to stare at the ceiling as he began to move.

"Yeah…that's right…mmm…." he grunted above me, closing his eyes. He moved again and again; his hips cracking against my body as he slammed into me with groans of approval. I felt my cheeks flush as I realized I was making him feel good; I was making Brady moan like that in pleasure. My chest filled with satisfaction as he grunted again in ecstasy.

I felt myself begin to tingle where we were joined and the familiar tightening began in my stomach as he moved. I guessed that my own relief wouldn't be hard to achieve with his length and girth; he filled me completely, touching almost every spot that felt good. Just as I began to feel my insides tighten and spasm, he thrust into me several times rather roughly.

"Oh, god!" he moaned, raising himself up to thrust. He plunged into my center a few more times in a jerky motion; his member throbbing slightly as release hit him. I panted as my own orgasm was left unattended to for the second time that night and my body shuddered in disappointment. He rolled off of me after a few seconds and I could hear him remove the condom with a snap and toss it in a garbage can.

"That was just what I needed," he laughed, rolling back onto his back. I moved closer to him, awkwardly struggling to pull up my pants and cover myself with the bed sheet. I was feeling…suddenly shy, but I still ached to feel some comfort after what we had just done. I rested my head against his bulging arm but he shrugged me off.

"I'm not much of a cuddler," he snapped, moving away from me. My heart sank as I slumped back against the pillow, staring at the ceiling. I had just been used and I was furious that I had let myself do such a thing – again. Why were guys always doing this to me?

"So was it good for you?"

He placed his arms behind his head and I just looked at him dejectedly. I was suddenly hit with a wave of anger as I watched him in the dim light of his bedroom.

"You know, it really wasn't that great if you want my honest opinion," I snapped. I wouldn't normally be so mean to someone that I had just had sex with but I was hurt and humiliated that I had let myself get used like that. I was like a piece of meat; nothing more, nothing less.

"Maybe if you weren't so easy I would have worked for it more," he snapped back at me, suddenly sitting up. His words hit me like a slap across the face, only they stung more than it would have if someone had actually struck me. I sat up as well, struggling to pull my pants back up. I fished my bra and sweater off the floor, pulling them on as quickly as I could. I suddenly wanted to be as far away from Brady as I could get.

"What is your problem?" he practically whined, pulling on a pair of jeans. "Hey, wait up!"

I was one step ahead of him. I grabbed my purse, adjusted my top, and spun around to look at him.

"I don't want anything to do with you, okay? Just leave me alone!" I demanded. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I was going to be damned if I let him see me cry. Crying was the ultimate in humiliation when it came to guys; crying over them meant that they owned you.

"Don't be such a bitch!" he yelled at me, still struggling to pull on his jeans.

"Asshole," I muttered over my shoulder as I yanked the door open. I heard him laugh at me and the tears almost overflowed as I slammed the door behind me.

I nearly collided with another guy that was standing outside the door in the hallway. My eyes met his for a brief second but they were so clouded with tears at that point that I could barely see anything. I sniffed, ducking my head and turning away from him and Brady's door before either of them could see me cry. I kept my head down as I made my way through the crowded house, trying to blend in. The worst feeling in the world when you're crying is for a million people to run up and ask you what is wrong, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs.

Finally, I was outside and the cool air hit me like another slap in the face. I had just slept with someone else; yet another person was added to my list of guys that I had let use me and toss me aside, never to be dealt with again. They would never call me, love me, pay attention to me, or give me another thought ever again. I felt like a promiscuous fool and I realized as I stood beside the little cabin – that's what I was. When would I stop feeling so worthless?

I leaned against the side of the house, wiping the tears away from my eyes as they fell steadily. This wasn't how it was supposed to be for me – this was never how I wanted my life to turn out. As a young girl, I had dreamt about growing up and falling in love with a boy countless times. In these little schoolgirl fantasies, that boy never used me for sex and tossed me aside. I never acted like a silly whore in front of my ideal boy, either. In my dreams, we would meet, fall in love, and he would be nice to me – really kind, sweet, and loving. He would literally be prince charming. Was that so hard?

I sighed, wiping my eyes again as the realization that no one like that really existed. Boys were all huge jerks and would waste no expense to prove that to me. I just wanted to go home. I was still slightly drunk, I was tired, I felt dirty, and I hurt. Brady had been the biggest guy I had ever been with in bed and it had hurt when my body had tried to accommodate his massive size.

I wiped my hand over my eyes where tears were still flowing freely. This was the absolute worst place to be crying; in a strange place, with new people, and absolutely no way home. I knew that Kenz and Courtney were probably nowhere near any shape to drive me home and I didn't have to guess that Charlie and Sue would be furious with me when I didn't show up. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was almost eleven thirty – that gave me nearly half an hour to figure out a way home. What on earth was I going to do?

Suddenly, someone very tall and large was running towards me and instinct made me duck behind the corner of the little house to hide. I knew I had been spotted but maybe he would get the hint and go away. But he didn't.

He stood in front of me, towering over my short frame by at least a foot and a half. I backed against the house, looking up at him in the dim porch light.

From what I could see through my bleary eyes, he was attractive. No, not just attractive; he was gorgeous. I could see even with his slightly baggy jeans and leather jacket that he was tall and muscular, almost lanky, yet still well built. His hair was slightly shaggy, the front few pieces hanging down almost to his dark brown eyes. His expression was bright; a smile danced on his lips as he looked at me in almost awe. His chiseled face was definitely older than me but he was still young looking – I guess early twenties.

What is he staring at? I thought. His mouth fell open a little and he looked like he was trying to say something but couldn't. He just stared at me like I had three heads.

"W-what are you l-looking at?" I demanded my voice still shaky from crying.

"I-I…" he stammered, still gaping at me. His voice was deep and raspy, but still young-sounding. I was dying of embarrassment already as he watched me cry; a sniveling and pathetic mess.

"Go away!" I finally yelled, turning away from him.

"But-"

"Go!" I insisted, glaring at him over my shoulder. I stared at the gargantuan sized Native man as he backed away from me, still slightly slack jawed. I blinked a few times, trying in vain to clear the tears away from my eyes as I watched him walk away from me. He almost looked like he was in pain but I didn't care. I had never felt dirtier or more like a cheapened slut in my entire life. Why did I have to be so stupid sometimes?

When I turned around several seconds later, he was gone from sight. I peeked around the corner to see where he had gone but I only saw a few random people standing around their cars in the driveway. That was strange…

When I had collected myself, I made my way back inside to see what condition Kenz and Courtney were in.

"Regan, where have you BEEN!" Kenz demanded, thumping me on the shoulder when she saw me. I winced, smelling the alcohol on her breath. Courtney stumbled up on the arm of some blonde guy a few seconds later, giggling and clutching a plastic cup full of beer.

"You're missing a great party! How was Brady?" she asked, giving me a not-so-sly wink.

"N-nothing happened," I lied, trying to hold back the tears.

Kenz giggled drunkenly, shaking her head. "No you're not! We all heard what happened. Everyone's talking about it!"

Suddenly, all I could hear was my heart beating frantically in my ears. They all knew? Had he already bragged about what had happened to everyone?

I huffed and felt my chest tighten up as I was reminded of my stupid tryst not minutes before with that jerk and I dashed back outside before anyone could say anything else. I heard both of them howling and cackling behind me; at my expense no doubt.

Once back outside, I searched the driveway for someone or something that would help me get home. I had no idea where I was, no phone, and no clue as to how to fix this. This was not good.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	9. Chapter 9

Seth

I began to feel numb as I stumbled away from my imprint, barely noticing how I managed to put one foot in front of the other. I literally had not known the girl for five minutes; my imprint, my soul mate, my other half…and she had told me to go away. No, she had ordered me to go away.

What was I supposed to do now? I had seen what happened to my pack brothers whose imprints had refused them at first – it was a painful, heart wrenching thing to merely watch, much less go through myself. I was supposed to be happy right now, so why was I filled with so much despair? My chest began to tighten and ache as I walked away from her, ducking around to the opposite side of the house. I waited, ears pricked, to listen to what she would do. That was another thing; my entire body was now completely attuned to what she was going to do. Her delicious, fragrant scent clung to my nose; my ears listened for her heartbeat; my chest pulled me towards where she stood. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end as I waited for her to move on the other side of the house. Looking around the yard, I made sure no one could see me lurking in the shadows behind the house like some weird ass stalker. I already felt like the world's worst imprint after watching her cry and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

I watched through the kitchen window as she walked back inside, and it looked like she was searching for something or someone. She walked up to two girls who asked her where she had been, and then they actually teased her about something that I didn't quite catch over all the people talking and the loud music. She stormed outside, and I moved to the front of the house to watch what she would do.

She paused in the driveway, her dark brown hair swinging around her shoulders as she looked for something. Was she in trouble? I tried to think back, but my mind wasn't cooperating normally just yet. All of my thoughts and memories of tonight were clouded by this beautiful girl. Why couldn't I seem to remember anything before seeing her for the first time? My memories were there, they were just clouded and blurry, like a dream. Everything since her was clear, sharp, and brighter.

I tried to snap myself out of it and help her, for she obviously needed it. I walked timidly out to the driveway, afraid to startle her again. Here I was, a six foot five Amazon sized man, and I was tip-toeing up to this little girl that couldn't stand more than five two or three. Suddenly, the front door to the house flew open and a group of people walked outside. The two girls she was talking to in the kitchen stumbled out with Astin and Aaden, two of my pack mates, following them.

"Regan, come on!" One girl slurred, the other one hanging on her shoulder. "Yeah Regan, lighten up!" she jeered.

I watched my imprint react to the name they had said. Regan. Regan. Regan…it sounds so good. I like the sound of in my head… If my thoughts were now going to be concentrated on her, I wasn't sure that I ever wanted to think coherently ever again.

"What's the matter, Regan?" the blonde girl whined, gripping her red plastic cup.

I watched as the angel named Regan put her face in her hands, trying to calm herself down. I gulped as I heard her heart race faster. No one had noticed me yet, standing in the driveway and gaping like a jackass.

"I don't want to talk about it," she mumbled pleadingly.

Leave her alone! I wanted to shout at them. It was taking ever once of my control to not rush to her rescue. Staying away from her and not acting like a freak was going to be difficult.

"Regan, what happened in there? Brady is looking for you."

"Ulgh…just…I don't want to talk to him."

The blonde made a disgusted hissing sound in the back of her throat. "Um, why not? He's gorgeous!"

"Yeah, don't be stupid. Brady is hot," the other girl echoed.

I watched her shake her head. "No, I just…I don't want to see him."

Brady…Brady…my foggy mind fought to regain some semblance of control, but so far I wasn't having much luck. My head and my body just wouldn't cooperate!

"Why not? Regan, come on…"

"Guys, I have to get home," she pleaded, looking at them hopefully. Aaden stepped forward, his hand up.

"No, no one is driving. We promised Jake and Embry that if we had beer, no one could drive home. We'll take you wherever you need to go," he said.

"Scouts honor," his twin, Astin replied with a grin. I rolled my eyes at their cocky behavior, but said nothing. They suddenly eyed me standing off to the side, and I could tell that they immediately recognized the dopey look on my face. If we wolves recognized anything, it was vampire and the way a brother looked when he was slapped in the face by imprinting magic. Aaden's face lit up at the same time as his brother's face, and soon both twins were grinning at me like idiots. The three girls stood beside them, completely oblivious to both our exchange and to me, and the twins began to casually motion to each one of them as if to ask, 'which one?'

When they nodded toward the girl they were calling 'Regan', I grinned and nodded in satisfaction. I could practically see the wheels in their stupid heads turning. Those two were like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber sometimes. I felt myself grimace as they began to unveil their plan.

"We'll take you girls home, but uh…we're not going near Chief Swan's house. Seth, don't you live over that way?" they asked, nodding at me encouragingly. I winced as all three girls suddenly looked in my direction, and I began to walk toward them so I didn't look like I was being a creep.

"Uh, yeah. Sure?" I asked, my mind moving fast than my mouth. I was confused. Chief Swan? Why were they talking about Chief Swan's house? Why does that name sound familiar? Why can't I hold a train of thought?

"Good! Then you can run Regan home," Aaden replied cockily to me. He and Astin traded looks in the driveway, and I wanted to walk over and bash their heads together for being such idiots.

"Yeah, Seth, you can take Regan home," Astin chimed in, nudging his brother's side. Regan shifted uncomfortably in the driveway, looking like she wanted the pavement to swallow her up and make her disappear. I was suddenly filled with the need to help her in any way that I could.

"Sure!" I responded too quickly, stepping closer to the group. The two girls with her began to drunkenly giggle, and I tried my best to ignore them as I fished in my pockets for my keys. "I can take you, where to?" I asked.

I barely noticed as Astin and Aaden shot each other knowing looks before bursting into a new round of laughter. I would make them pay for this later. Right now, all I was concerned about was her. Regan.

"We just told you, jackass!" Astin snorted. He shook his head at his brother, and the two burst into another round of fairly girlish giggles.

I looked at Regan, still panicked that she was upset. She dug at the ground with her toe, still looking at her friends for help.

"It's okay Regan, he's cool," Aaden finally chimed in, patting her shoulder. I bit back an instinctive growl as another wolf touched my imprint. How dare he! Aaden seemed to notice the change in my expression, for he slouched back and quickly withdrew his hand from her.

I stared at Regan; I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help myself. I felt like I was drunk – everything was happening so slowly. I thought I heard one of them mutter something like, "Congratulations on your jailbait," but my mind still wasn't working the way it should have.

They each grabbed one of Regan's friends' hands, leading them toward their jeep that they shared. That left me with my imprint, standing awkwardly in the driveway.

I stood there looking at her for a few moments, relieved when she finally peeked over at me. "I'd better get home," she finally said. "I'm uh…Regan," she added. She held out her small hand for a second, and all I could do was stand there and gawk at her like a fucking moron. The universe was laughing at me – this was my one chance to shake her hand, to touch her, to feel what her skin felt like against mine, and instead I just stood there, tripping over myself and acting like I couldn't' understand basic English.

She dropped her hand, looking at me strangely, and I can't say that I blamed her. "Are you alright?"

I blinked several times, trying to snap out of the trance that this girl had me under. "Uh, sorry, I'm uh…tired," I stuttered, jamming my hands in my coat pockets. "I'm Seth."

"Seth…okay, well…do you know where Chief Swan lives?" she asked hopefully, looking up at me.

Oh god…she said my name. My name came out of her mouth. I've never realized that my name could sound that good…Um…um…jeez, it's like I've never even heard my name until now…

She blinked her big green eyes, and I actually almost forgot that I had a mouth that could form words. She said my name for goodness sake…

Wait…she lives with Chief Swan?

"You live with Chief Swan? C-Charlie?" I stuttered, stepping a little closer to her. She blinked and took a hesitant step back.

"Yeah…why?"

I tried to give her my best charming smile as my mind raced, fighting to clear up and think properly. This was the girl that was living with my mom and Charlie. Holy Batshit.

"Sue is my mom. I'm Seth Clearwater," I added, trying to straighten up and be charming. She nodded, her shoulders sinking as she relaxed a little.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, I should have figured. You look a lot like Sue," she said quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears.

"Yeah, she's my mom!" I laughed nervously. She gave me a weird look.

"Yeah, you uh…just said that like ten seconds ago," she said, rolling her eyes at me.

"Oh uh…yeah…"I stuttered as she frowned her perfect little eyebrows at me. I felt my face darken and prayed to god that she couldn't see me blushing like an idiot in the dark driveway. I smiled and nodded, motioning towards my Bronco. She followed silently as I led her to the passenger side, balking slightly as she eyed the red and blue lights on top of the vehicle.

"You're really a cop? I thought they were joking," she gasped, taking a tentative step back. I laughed, shaking my head.

"It's okay. I'm off duty. No big deal," I replied, rolling my eyes playfully. "I'm not gonna tell on you. What are you, eighteen? Nineteen?" I asked hopefully.

She laughed, walking over to the car. God, her laughter was like heaven.

"I wish," she sighed as I opened the door.

Two things happened in that next moment. One, I realized that if this was the girl that was living with Mom and Charlie, then this is the same girl that Charlie had informed me on Tuesday morning was actually sixteen. Then, I hit myself in the face with the car door as I opened it. So much for wolf-like reflexes.

"Oh god, are you alright?" she asked, looking up at me. I forgot how to speak again as she looked at me, her hand reaching up to touch my eyebrow where I had bonked myself with the door. She stopped herself, pulling her hand back towards her body in surprise as I blinked and tried to get a hold of myself.

She was sixteen. My imprint was sixteen. I was now the proud imprinter of a piece of jailbait. Great.

I nodded, carefully closing the Bronco door and walking around to the driver's seat as my cheeks burned. Here I was, a grown man, acting like a stupid sixteen year old boy in front of my imprint. I felt a pang in my chest as I realized for the first time that I really did wish I was sixteen again, just so that I could be the same age as her, not some freaky, late twenties cop that doubled as a werewolf monster. But would fate have brought me to her then? I couldn't be sure, so I tried to push these thoughts out of my head and think of something to say to her that would make me sound normal. I noticed she sat as far away from me as she could, not that I could blame her- I was acting like such a freaking idiot that I wouldn't want to ride with me either; however, I realized that she was alone in a strange place and didn't have any more options. Also super.

She closed her door, and her beautiful scent crashed into me with a force like no other. It was cherry almond tinged, with a hint of something that reminded me of a perfume Leah used to wear before she went all wolfy. What was that again? Oh yeah – vanilla. Her scent in its pure form and not sniffed up off the yucky pavement by the high school was absolute beautiful. It was indeed the faint scent that I had caught earlier in the week and had tried to place but couldn't. I almost laughed at the power of imprinting; suddenly, I couldn't get enough of the smell of cherry almond tinged with vanilla.

Then, I realized she also smelled like something else.

Brady.

Oh fucking hell.

In my idiotic stages of new imprinting, I had completely forgotten that my imprint had already been around Brady, and had obviously slept with him for that matter. Her scent was laced with his and latex, the telltale signs of a romp with our pack man-slut. I closed my door, trying not to slam it as I fought to not go back inside and rip Brady limb from limb. How dare he? I could maim him for so much as looking at my imprint, much less sleeping with her. I hadn't even had a chance to talk to her yet before he traipsed in and did something so completely stupid.

I looked down as my hands began to shake – she hadn't noticed yet. I quickly busied myself fastening my seatbelt as I fought to regain control of myself before she thought I was even weirder than I already was. I could barely believe that my hands were shaking – I hadn't had a problem with that since I was fifteen and a brand new wolf.

She had already slept with Brady. Brady. Brady! Of all people, Brady. Well, at least I wouldn't feel bad ripping his furry ass to shreds later on. I suddenly hated all things Brady, and the first thing on my agenda was to get him for this one. I was normally not a mean of vindictive person OR wolf; however, that was before Brady nailed my imprint. And I say 'nailed' because I knew that was exactly what he did. Slightly blurry memories of what had happened just a short while ago came rushing back to me as I was finally able to remember them.

Regan had stomped out of Brady's room, called him an asshole, and gone outside to cry. I didn't have to see into his mind yet to know what had happened in that bedroom. I had seen it before, countless times in his mind as he would torturously replay his nasty trysts with random girls over and over in his mind, just to piss us off.

Why would Regan be sucked into that? My head started to spin as I stuck the key into the ignition while she buckled her seatbelt.

In one night, my world had completely shifted, and I now only knew two things.

One, I had imprinted on a sixteen year old that I would already do anything for, including stepping in front of a bus.

Two, I was going to kill Brady.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	10. Chapter 10

Seth

I let the engine roar to life, and I looked over at her shyly as she sat in my passenger seat, gripping her purse. Say something you idiot! My mind screamed at me.

"So you live with Charlie and Mom, huh? He um…mentioned you at work the other day. It's nice to finally meet you." There. That sounded normal.

She glanced over at me through her wavy, brown hair that hung down around her face like a curtain. "Thanks," she replied softly, turning to look out the window. I struggled to think of something else to say, preferably something not weird or stupid sounding.

"So, do you like Forks?" I asked hopefully.

She looked over at me, and I fought to keep my eyes on the road as we drove. I tried to drive a little slower, just to prolong my time with her. Now that I had finally found her, I didn't want to give her up so soon, even if it was to Sue and Charlie.

"No, not really," she admitted. "It's always so…cold and rainy here."

I laughed. "Gosh, you sound just like Bells did at first," I said. "Well, according to Jake."

"You knew my cousin?" she asked, suddenly interested.

I nodded. "Still do. I see her every once in awhile," I replied.

"Charlie doesn't talk about her a lot…I was worried for a little while that something bad had happened to her."

"Bella? No. She just, um…got married young. Yeah…" I said carefully. I didn't know how much Charlie had told Regan about Bella. I realized with a tinge of sadness that if things worked out between us, she would be in on the entire secret – the wolf pack, the Cullens…everything. I was sad for a moment when I realized the poor Charlie would be the only person who didn't know what his daughter truly was.

I felt an unfamiliar twinge of pain in my chest as I avoided telling the truth to my imprint for the first time. My pack mates had always said that it was indeed possible to lie or tell fibs to their imprints; however, it wasn't always comfortable. The worse the lie, the more pain the wolf would be in.

"Oh. Well, I found a picture of her in my room this week, and I just wondered. She's your stepsister?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she is. After my dad died, my mom married Charlie, her father."

"Oh, I'm sorry about your dad," Regan replied, looking over at me. My heart swelled at her sweetness and consideration.

"It's okay. It was a long time ago, and Charlie is a great guy. I would know; I spend a lot of time with him at work."

"Oh. So…if Charlie is my uncle of sorts, doesn't that make us kind of related?"

Shit.

I laughed nervously, gripping the steering wheel. "Well, technically yeah, but…not by blood," I added with relief. Crap, the pack was never gonna let me live that one down.

Once we were phased and sharing the pack mind, there was no hiding secrets. Everything was laid out in front of you and everyone else to see and watch, just like a movie playing backwards.

I was more the desperate to change the subject. I didn't want my imprint to have the idea that we were related in her head long. Gross.

"I hope my mom isn't too bad so far. She can be kinda overbearing, but she means well."

Regan looked at me, and I had to once again remind myself to keep my eyes on the road. Even in the dark, I could see her vibrant green eyes as they watched me. Was she as drawn to me as I was to her? Did she just hide it better? Whether or not the imprintee is drawn to her imprinter is a bit of a grey area sometimes. Some of my brothers swear that their mates are as connected and drawn to them as the wolf is. However, other imprinters swear that it's just impossible to ignore that kind of adoration and chemistry. I had a feeling Regan wasn't going to make that easy knowledge for me.

"No, she's fine. Charlie is…interesting, but…no, they're both fine."

"Did you have a good first week?" I asked. "In Forks, I mean."

She shrugged, glancing out the window. "School is school."

Okie dokie.

"So, you don't like Forks…so why are you up here? Charlie said you're from Phoenix."

Regan shifted uncomfortably on the passenger seat, gripping her purse. "Yeah I…just needed a change of scenery," she said softly, her eyes darting up to nervously meet mine. I immediately sensed that she didn't want to talk about that, and I shut my mouth. I asked her a few more questions, and I got the sense that she was a somewhat private person, unlike me. I felt bad asking her so many, but I knew I would drive myself crazy if I didn't. All too soon, we were at Charlie and Sue's house, pulling up to the curb.

She suddenly turned to me, her big, green eyes expressive and panicked. "Listen…I uh…I ended up not going to the movies like I said I was tonight, and uh…erm…Charlie doesn't…"

"You didn't tell them you were going to a party, did you?" I asked, a knowing smile forming on my lips. Regan's face fell, realizing she had been caught.

Her expression was panicked as she glanced nervously at the house. "I…I don't normally do things like this Seth. I really don't…I.."

The sound of my name coming out of her perfect mouth again distracted me from all logical thought as it was.

"I won't tell," I said slowly. I sounded like a lovesick puppy. I was such a jackass.

We didn't have time to talk about it anymore. Charlie glanced out the window from his armchair, and soon appeared at the door with my mom, who looked equally confused.

"I letcha out one night and the cops bring you home," he joked sternly, watching as Regan slammed my Bronco door shut.

"Yeah, Seth gave me a ride home," she replied, looking over at me pointedly. I jammed my hands in my pockets, as she waited to see if I would rat her out for going to a party and drinking.

She shrugged as she walked up the sidewalk, avoiding both pairs of eyes. "Yeah, I was just um…was over there…" I trailed off, pausing at the bottom of the steps. I watched her walk up the steps and stand behind my mom, trying to control my expression. I'm sure I really did look like a lovesick puppy, but it was too hard to control. Regan stood next to my mom, who was gaping at me with an open mouth and wide, brown eyes. Charlie looked at her, then at me, then back at her with a questioning expression on his face.

"Well, erm…Regan, you'd better get to bed. It's late. Been a late night. Thank you, Seth," he said. "We'll talk tomorrow?"

I nodded first at Charlie, and then I looked at my mom. Had I been that obvious? Apparently, I had, by the way she was staring at me with that shocked expression like they just realized who Regan was. She was my imprint. Charlie gave us a weird look before moving to open the front door for Regan, who didn't toss me a second glance before darting into the house.

My heart sank a little, but I tried not to let it bother me. I looked up at my mom, who was still staring right at me. Her expression was relieved, but incredulous. When Charlie was inside, she looked to make sure he was gone. She had seen the expression of a wolf around his imprint enough times over the years to recognize the dippy look on my face.

"Really?" she whispered, knowing I could hear her soft voice from almost twenty feet away. I nodded, my eyes shining. Hers teared up slightly as well, and I had to laugh.

"Am I really that obvious?" I whispered, laughing.

She grinned, clasping her hands together in front of her mouth, nodding. "Mom…don't cry," I begged, brushing my hair out of my eyes. I had enough to worry about tonight without my mom breaking down and actually crying on me. Sue Clearwater didn't cry; she was tough and no-nonsense.

"Seth…this is a really big deal," she said, her voice laced with happiness. I grinned at her from the bottom of the steps, nodding.

"I know mom. And…I know," I stuttered. "Can you believe it? And you told me to give up," I teased.

My mom still stood at the top of the steps, holding her face in her hands to keep from crying. "I can't believe it's her," she said. "She's right here in front of us….I…I'm sorry we didn't introduce you sooner, I…"

"Mom, it's okay," I laughed.

"This is just such a big deal, Seth," she said, the emotion showing in her voice.

"I…I know…I've been waiting for her for over a decade. Believe me…I know."

"I can't believe it…it's her. That…that could be my daughter in law someday."

I nodded, the weight of the situation really crashing down on me. I felt like I was riding some sort of euphoric high….I never wanted to come down. I had finally found her, and there was no turning back now. Life was no longer just about me. Whether she knew it or not, Regan was now my number one priority. I would do anything to keep her safe and protected.

Suddenly, a concerned look crossed her face.

"But, Seth…baby, she's sixteen," she said.

I nodded. "I know, Mom. Listen, we'll talk tomorrow. I gotta go…uh…talk to some people," I said, giving her a pointed look. She nodded, glancing back into the house, and then back at me.

She pointed in my direction sternly. "You! You call me tomorrow, mister. No excuses, it's Saturday, and I know you'll have time. "

"Yeah, Mom, I'll have time. I gotta go," I insisted, jumping into my Bronco. I grinned at her through the window, finally allowed to bask in my relief and happiness. She gave me a hopeful smile before darting into the house. I pulled away from Charlie's, resting easy in the idea that I would go home to the Cullens, drop of my truck, phase, and run back up to Charlie's house. It wasn't my night to patrol, but…I wasn't ready to leave Regan just yet.

I raced all the way home, pushing the gas pedal on my poor Bronco way further down to the mat than she was meant to go, but tonight was an exception. I needed to phase and get back to her. What if she needed me? What if something happened? I just couldn't take that chance. I texted Jake as I drove up the Cullen lane.

JAKE – 5 MINS, PHASE? EMERGENCY – GOOD ONE. SETH.

I knew he would get the message. I ran inside the house, folded some ham inside a few pieces of bread and ate quickly, washing it down with a gallon of milk. I was going to need to have food in my stomach for a full night of…well, running circles around Charlie's house.

I stripped off my clothes and tied some sweats to my ankle just in case, and ran outside. I barely made it out the front door before my body exploded and I hit the ground on all fours. Jacob sat in wolf form in the driveway, picking my brain before I even had a chance to wag my tail.

You went and imprinted on some jailbait, eh? You know, at this point we should make a club, he laughed.

Come on Jake, this is serious. I…I imprinted man. On Charlie's niece!

Jacob guffawed in his head. Wait, so you imprinted on someone who would show up at a family reunion?

It's not like that, you jackass, and you know it. She's Renee's niece, who isn't even blood related to Charlie, which wouldn't matter anyway, because I'm not blood related to Charlie. We're related by two marriages. Get a freaking grip and help me.

What are you so worried about? So you have to wait a few years. Big deal. Literally, join the club that I already decided we're making, he laughed.

I stamped my paw impatiently. Jake, I pleaded. Really man, what do I do?

What do you think you do? Nothing. You've seen what Quil does, what I did. I can see what happened…he trailed off, scanning my memory of what had happened. You just thought she was pretty, right?

I nodded, unsure of where he was going with this.

Right. You didn't have the urge to like…mate with her, did you?

After initially wincing at the phrase 'mate with her,' I thought a moment, trying to remember. No, I would have definitely remembered that. I certainly did not want to do that with her.

No, of course not, I replied. I just thought she was like…the most beautiful thing ever.

Okay…I could have told you that. It's nothing sexual. That's not strange. I guess in a way…it's a lot like Quil and Claire. She's fifteen, and yet he still only sees her as a friend. Little sister, what have you, Jake replied, twitching his tail.

I looked nervously in the direction of Forks, fighting the urge to leave and go running up there.

It's fine, Seth. Please don't worry about this. You'll be fine. You don't wanna do anything bad with her, so you're alright for now. It's not like that; I can see it. If it was bad, trust me…I'd tie you up and make you wear a pink collar until her eighteenth birthday.

Thanks, Jake.

When you need to worry, you'll know. Or you might not.

What the hell does that mean? I demanded. He sighed, rolling his wolf eyes at me.

You might just be her friend. Big brother. Protector. Yadda yadda…

That never happens.

No, but it could. Old Quil said so.

Pray for me, I grumbled. I glanced nervously over my shoulder again towards Forks, and Jacob could feel my impatience.

Just try to relax. She's only sixteen; you have plenty of time to win her over before you have to worry about all that other stuff. Take Quil and Claire. Just…roll with it like he does. Nothing ever bothers Quil, and nothing used to ever really bother you, Seth. Just relax and try to be happy that you've imprinted. Either way, it's an amazing thing, bro.

I nodded my wolf head, scraping at the rocks under my feet in the driveway. You're right. It was amazing…like…l didn't even know her name and I would have…I think I would have taken a bullet for her right there, just like it was nothing, man.

Jake let his large tongue hang out of the side of his mouth in a wolfish grin. I know how you feel. I was going to kill Nessie, remember? Instead I spent that first day learning how to hold a baby and reading her stories in her new pink bedroom. Things change, Seth. She won't be sixteen forever.

That's what scares me.

Whatever man, he laughed. You'll do fine. You're a good guy, Seth; I know you'll be alright. Now, if you don't mind, I've got an imprint myself, so…

I snorted in my head, twitching my tail as I got the jist of what he was saying. Yeah, yeah, go…I'll be fine.

Go run circles around Charlie's house. I know that's what you want to do! He laughed, standing up and shaking his fur. I rolled my eyes, but shot him an appreciative glance.

Thanks, Jake.

No problem, Seth. Now go, please, you're making me anxious.

I gave him a wolfy bark and stood, shaking the bits of gravel off my own coat. Jake turned and trotted toward the cottage where he lived with Renesmee, and I bolted towards Forks at full speed. Even though I patrolled with him sometimes, and he was still our Alpha, I missed seeing Jake in human form. Like the rest of us, he really hadn't aged a bit; he was really almost thirty-one, yet he didn't look a day over twenty-three or twenty-four. For the most part, he stayed secluded in the cabin and around it with Renesmee, who still looked to be about eighteen or nineteen. So, the two of them tried to stay out of questioning human eyes as much as they could for now – we all knew that they would have to leave eventually, only to return when everyone they knew here was long gone.

I was saddened to think about it, but I quickly pushed the thought from my mind as I raced to Charlie's house. I didn't want to be distracted on my first night of patrolling for my imprint, and I wasn't ready to exactly announce it to the other members on patrol that night either. Luckily, it was just Quil tonight and I did a good enough job of blocking my thoughts from him as I dashed into Charlie's lawn. I wasn't ready to explain myself just yet. I laughed at myself in my mind though. Here I was, not three hours in, and I had already devised a perimeter in my mind of points to watch around Regan's new home with Charlie and Sue. It wasn't that I didn't patrol those areas anyway, but now I would just…double my efforts.

I looked up in the darkness at Regan's window, or Bella's old room. Part of me was excited to call Bella and tell her that my imprint, the most special girl in the world, was using her old room. I knew that news would make my old friend happy to hear. I spied the window closest to where I remember the bed being, and strained my neck to get a better look. I couldn't see anything but the dim glow of a strand of white decorative lights that hung above where I was pretty sure her bed was. Oh well, I thought dejectedly.

I paused underneath her window, and that's when I heard it; the gentle thump, thump, thump of Regan's heartbeat.

I could also hear her breaths as she breathed deeply, signaling that she was asleep. The hackles on my shoulders lay down, and I finally felt myself relax. Now that I knew she was home safe and sound, sleeping peacefully, I felt like I could finally loosen up a little.

I made my way around the planned perimeter a few times, trampling down a path that I would use every night from now on. It was wide enough to spot danger, but still close enough that I could see the light from the house and faintly hear her heartbeat in her bedroom. Finally satisfied, I trotted up to a low bush near the line where the yard met the trees and laid down to get some rest.

I hadn't closed my eyes for thirty seconds when I felt the phone attached to my leg start to buzz. Glancing down, I groaned. Leah.

I knew immediately that my mother had already called and blabbed the news to my sister; call it a sixth sense. My ears flattened at the sight and I rolled my eyes before lying down again to sleep.

Leah could wait. Tonight, I had different things on my mind.


	11. Chapter 11

Regan

And so it had begun. My first official weekend in Forks.

I opened my eyes that Saturday morning when the telephone in the kitchen rang shrilly in the tiny house, jolting me awake. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was just past eight. Didn't these people know that you were supposed to sleep in on weekends? Back home, my mom was usually off to work by now, even on the weekends, which left me to sleep half the day away if I so pleased. I got the feeling that such would not be the case at Charlie and Sue's.

I tried to go back to sleep, but it was pretty useless after that. It was now October and already cold, and that added with the wet, miserable weather had made me feel cold to my bones all week. I hated it; I missed the heat. I missed Phoenix. I missed my home.

My head hurt from the shots and beers from the night before, and I sat up, holding my temples as they pounded. It was then that I remembered Brady. How could I have been so stupid? I knew exactly how I had; he was the hottest guy I had ever seen, coupled with about six beers, that's how that had happened. Wincing, I stood up and stretched, looking around for my yoga mat that I had brought with me from Arizona. Maybe yoga would make me feel better after some breakfast. I shuffled down to the kitchen in my hooded sweatshirt and yoga pants, my hair in a messy side ponytail, to go find some food.

Sue was leaning against the kitchen counter, talking in a hushed voice on the phone while she sipped her coffee, and Charlie was, as usual, parked in his seat at the breakfast table reading his newspaper. How exciting.

"Good morning," Sue said, lifting up her head. "I'll talk to you later, Leah," she said quickly, and hung up. I gave her a strange look, but said nothing as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"You drink coffee?" she asked skeptically, looking me up and down as I sleepily took a large gulp.

"Yup," I muttered, shuffling over to the cabinet. "Nothing…without sugar?" I asked, scanning over the contents of her cereal selection. Sue gave me another slightly scared look, glancing at Charlie.

"Frosted Flakes," he said, somewhat cheerfully. Sue shot him a dirty look of disagreement and he shrugged, mumbling, "It's got bran, right?"

I settled for some Fruit Loops and made my way to sit at the breakfast table with Charlie. I could tell that my typical diet of eating healthy was going to go to shit here. Sue stood nervously at the kitchen counter, gripping the sides like she was nervous about something. I gave her a few sideway glances, but said nothing as I ate.

"Big plans for this weekend?" She asked hopefully after several minutes of silence.

I gave her a 'yeah right' look and she was quiet once again.

Phoenix was a huge city; plenty of malls to go to, movie theatres, concerts, places to hang out, clubs…Forks, on the other hand, had a Piggly Wiggly Grocery. I thought Sue was joking when she told me that was the name of the grocery store where she worked; however, she indeed was not joking. Specifically, she worked at the bakery in the Piggly Wiggly with a drive-thru window in the back of the store. I hadn't even heard of such a thing before – a drive through in a grocery store? I had been horrified by the name of the damn thing, much less the drive through aspect.

I barely had more time to worry about it before I heard the front door open and then slam shut.

Jesus, I thought to myself. These people have visitors at this hour?

I made up my mind to practically ignore whoever it was in the living room and go about my breakfast. Sue raced out of the kitchen, and Charlie and I exchanged confused glances. I was starting to like Charlie more and more.

I heard her whispering to someone in the living room where the front door was, but I pretended not to care who was here. That is, until her cheery-faced son practically pranced into the kitchen all bright and happy. His tan face shone with a bright smile that showed off his straight, white teeth. He appeared to be freshly showered with his hair still wet and sticking up slightly.

"Morning, Charlie!" he practically boomed, walking up and smacking him on the back. I had nearly forgotten that they worked together. He dropped a bag on the table, in-between us, and I cowered slightly, covering my bare face and messy hair.

Why the hell is he here? I thought, instantly irritated.

"Uh, morning, Seth," Charlie grumbled, obviously as annoyed as I was that we had company this early in the morning.

I glanced up at him over my coffee cup out of curiosity. He stood in the middle of the kitchen, smiling at me with way more happiness than should be legal before nine a.m. He wore cargo shorts and a black t-shirt and…no shoes? I caught his gaze and quickly looked away, busying myself with arranging my Fruit Loops in a rainbow as they became soggy with milk.

"Morning, Regan," he said cheerily, and almost…hopefully?

I glanced over at him again, still irritated with his level of cheeriness. "Why do you not have shoes?"

His smile fell for a split second, and I almost regretted being so snarky to him. He laughed casually, flashing his too-white teeth again. He did have a pretty smile...

"Oh, you know. I was uh…in such a hurry to get here that I forgot 'em!"

I looked him up and down, and then turned to Charlie with one eyebrow raised. "The Forks Police Department is sure lookin' sharp," I quipped, reaching for my coffee. Charlie looked like he was going to smile, but bit it back.

"You wantin to go fishing today, Seth?" he asked hopefully, turning to face him. I ignored the three of them, finishing my cup and then standing to put my bowl in the sink. I walked around Seth with plenty of berth, avoiding their curious gazes.

"I'm gonna do my yoga…and…homework…" I mumbled, yanking the sleeves of my hoodie down over my hands. I raced up the steps and into my room, but left the door open. I wanted to hear what they had to say.

I pulled out my yoga mat and placed it on the hardwood floor, removed my hoodie, and then collapsed onto the mat with a soft thud to listen. I heard Charlie mutter a few things, Sue whispering to Seth, and then a bunch of movement. I pouted to myself and tried to pretend like I didn't care what they were talking about. But I was intrigued, to say the least, by Seth, and I was just curious. I was still rather perturbed that he had come over so early and seen me hung-over without makeup, but there was nothing I could do about that now.

As I began to do some stretches, I thought about Seth. He looked a lot like Sue; tall, wiry, strong looking. He smiled a lot, showing off his white teeth and copper face that everyone seemed to have in La Push last night. As annoyed as I was that he has asked me so many questions on the ride home, I had to be at least a little grateful - he had saved my ass and gotten me home before curfew. It was my first week here, and I really didn't want to piss off Charlie and Sue.

As much as I hated to admit it, I already owed Seth Clearwater.

I wonder how old he is? Why do you care, Regan….I chided myself. He looked like he was…twenty-two? Twenty-three? No, that couldn't be right? Could it?

Much to my own disappointment, I spent the better part of my day thinking about Seth, the night before, and Brady. I felt stupid on all three accounts.

First, Seth had caught me in what was arguably one of the most embarrassing situations ever – abandoned, stranded, and the joke of the party in a new place. Second, I felt silly for even wanting to go to that stupid party anyway. Kenz and Courtney were bad influences, I knew that much, but…I was in no position to turn down friends, especially in a town this small with nothing to do. It was a cheap excuse to keep someone around, but like I said…my mall at home could have held more people on a Tuesday morning than this town had period.

And third, Brady. I honestly felt so cheap and useless after everything that had happened back in Phoenix that…sometimes just to be held and loved for fifteen minutes felt like it would help somehow. Usually it ended up making the emptiness worse, but I could never tell. I wasn't the best decision maker out there and sometimes I ended up really screwing myself over and getting into even bigger messes than the ones I had already made.

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I bent down to the mat to stretch the back of my legs. It just wasn't fair. In a matter of months, everything I knew and loved had been ripped away from me - my home, my dignity, my friends - nothing ever felt like it would be right again.

I was drawn out of my self-wallowing when I heard car doors slamming outside. I walked to the window and peeked out, seeing that Seth had attached Charlie's fishing boat to his hideous aqua and white, rusted truck, and they were loading up their fishing equipment.

I watched them pull away and felt strangely empty as the rusted vehicle roared slowly down the street. What did I care if the damn cops wanted to go fishing?

I lolled around my new room all day, declining an offer from Sue to go to the grocery store where she worked to pick up things for dinner. Instead, I attempted homework, did my laundry while the washer was free, and did some more decorating. I looked at the picture of Bella and her husband as I put away my clean clothes in the rickety dresser, wondering if she would want the photo back. I pushed it back by some of the books that I had brought with me and decided to ask her when she visited for a holiday or something of that sort.

I had just showered when Sue announced that Seth and Charlie were back, and they had caught plenty of fish on their trip, so that was what we would be having for dinner. Didn't these people know what vegetarian meant? I knew some vegetarians ate fish occasionally, but I was not one of those.

"Do you need help with dinner?" I asked Sue when I finally went downstairs. I finger combed my wet locks, trying my best to arrange the waves so that they fell a little straighter around my shoulders.

Sue looked up at me from the bowl she was mixing something in, it looked like fry batter, and paused. I didn't feel uncomfortable around Sue; but the look she gave me was definitely strange.

"You can go out back and bring in the fish as they finish cleaning them," she finally answered, handing me a large dish. I tried to resist the urge to make a face, and walked out the back door where I could hear Seth chattering away to Charlie.

The daylight was just starting to fade, and the temperature was steadily dropping in the chilly fall night, and I hurried out to where they were in the backyard. They had a piece of plywood over two large tree stumps, and they were cleaning and de-boning their catches.

Charlie stood with the bucket, watched with an amused expression as Seth cleaned the fish with a large knife. I looked up at him and…oh my god.

He was shirtless, standing in the yard barefoot with his jeans rolled up to his knees. They hung off the muscles of his stomach that formed a perfect 'V', and my eyes raked all the way up his abs…wait, did he have an eight pack? So many muscles that it wasn't even considered a six pack anymore, but an eight pack? I blinked several times, trying to collect myself. I didn't want to be caught dead staring at Sue's older son, and a cop at that, but it was going to be hard. I walked up slowly, blinking several times as I tried unsuccessfully to pry my eyes away from Seth. Holy shit, he was built like a Greek Adonis. The toffee colored glow of his Native skin covered the broad planes of his chest and wide shoulders, and every single inch of him was made of long, sinewy, solid muscle. How did this guy look like that? Only Abercrombie models looked like that.

"Hey, Regan," he said calmly, giving me the same dippy look he had in the truck last night. He watched me as I walked out to the middle of the yard where they were cleaning the fish, trying not to slip in the muddy grass.

"Uh, hey," I mumbled, nervously tucking my hair behind my ears. He was always looking at me so strangely, it was a little creepy. Granted, he was still gorgeous, but it was starting to get weird. I held out the bowl for him and he placed the cleaned fish fillets in it, giving me a flash of his straight, white teeth as he did it.

"Hope you're hungry!" he added with a throaty chuckle. I glanced up at him, meeting his deep brown eyes as he spoke. "Charlie loves to fish, so I'd get used to eatin' a lot of it out here," he quipped, giving me another heart stopping grin.

I gave him a half smile, unsure of how to respond without sounding interested. I turned and hurried back into the house where I watched Sue batter the fish and fry them up.

"Smell good?" she asked as I peeled some potatoes in the sink. I nodded, giving her a tight smile.

"Harry Clearwater's world famous fish fry," she said, her voice somewhat sad as she flipped a fillet in the crumbs of fish batter.

"Relative?" I asked finally, trying to fill the awkward silence that had filled the kitchen.

"No, well…he was my husband, before Charlie…" she finally replied, dropping another piece into the skillet. The oil popped and fizzed in the quiet kitchen as she looked out the back window at Seth and Charlie.

"Seth's dad?" I asked, remembering him talking about it from the night before. She smiled, nodding.

"Yes, Seth's dad. He was really special…everyone liked him. I wish you could have met him," she replied, rinsing off her hands in the sink next to me. I looked over at her tan face, trying to read into what she was saying. Why did she want me to have met Seth's father? Something strange was going on, and I wasn't quite sure what it was.

Seth and Charlie came inside eventually, reeking like fish as Sue continued to cook. I watched Seth dart up the steps to the only bathroom in the house, and for a moment I panicked; I had left the door to my room open, and for some reason that bothered me. Would he look into my bedroom? Why did it matter? As I sat at the kitchen table that I had just set, listening to the water flow down the pipes in the wall behind me from the upstairs shower, I couldn't figure out why things were suddenly so strange; why was Seth always giving me funny looks? Why did Sue wish I could have met her dead husband? These were questions that had begun to plague me the longer I stood there thinking about them.

"Something wrong?"

I jumped when I heard Sue's voice behind me.

"What?" I asked, turning around. I took the plate of potatoes from her and put it on the table.

"You just looked like you were thinking really hard about something," she said finally, picking up my glass and pouring me something to drink.

"No, uh…I just spaced out. Sorry," I mumbled as the water upstairs shut off. "Does Seth come over here a lot or something?" I suddenly asked. Sue looked at me strangely again and paused, and I could tell she was carefully formulating an answer.

"He comes by a lot, yes. But I miss him and his sister being around all the time. Do you mind if he comes over?"

I shook my head quickly, brushing my hair out of my face. "No, I don't care. I just wondered, is all," I replied quickly and casually, hoping that I didn't sound too interested. Sue seemed like the type of person that would run and tell Seth anything I said about anything. Isn't that how small town people were? All gossipy and bored? As I sat down at the table, I felt a blush start to rise in my cheeks at the idea of Sue telling Seth anything about me.

I frowned into my glass of sweet tea and tried to figure out why I suddenly gave a shit about Seth Clearwater or what he thought.

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	12. Chapter 12

Seth

She looked at me. My imprint was looking at me. I was just in the yard, and then she came out and she was just all…looking at me!

I tried to control my thoughts as I dashed up the stairs of Charlie and Sue's house. And Regan's house. I could barely believe my luck. My imprint was living with my mom and stepdad. She lived with the woman I trusted the most and a cop with a gun collection. On top of that, she lived where I could patrol around her house and be there in a flash if she needed me. My already overprotective wolf side rejoiced at the idea of my imprint being safe and sound and right where I could easily find her.

It was strange really; she was beautiful and lovely and smelled like heaven, but as Jake said…it wasn't weird. Okay, imprinting itself is weird, but what I felt for her wasn't all…Paul and Rachel-ish, for lack of better words. To be inside Paul's head when he was horny was nothing short of a porno film. Leah used to practically rip him to shreds for thinking about certain things concerning his imprint when I was a kid and had first started phasing. I was just a kid then, and Paul usually thought about things that at the time, I had known nothing about. Just thinking about it years later sometimes made me feel a little sick. That kid could conjure up some rather graphic stuff in his mind. What I felt for Regan was nothing like that.

It wasn't sexual, but it certainly wasn't 'brotherly', that was for sure. To me, she was clearly still a teenager in many ways, yet the feeling of potential was still there. It was comforting.

I had spent the past day and a half drilling Quil about what it was like to imprint on Claire, who was just shy of her sixteenth birthday. 'What was is like to imprint on a younger person?' I had asked apprehensively. He had explained to me that feeling 'that' way about her just wasn't even possible for him yet, and I knew he was telling the truth. That alone made me feel a lot better. I had seen how he felt about her in his mind when he was in wolf form, but he was graciously kind enough to explain it to me again. I felt better after talking to Quil for a few hours earlier that day.

"So…you don't ever worry about like…thinking bad stuff?"

"What bad stuff?" Quil had asked, looking up at me from his food. I had been exasperated with him at that point. I had invited him over to eat with me again, this time minus Claire. We had things to talk about.

"Like…you don't think about her..that way?"

He chewed as he thought, and shook his head. "It's not like that. She's not someone I want to date. She's someone I want to protect. She's my friend…she's just…my little Claire-Bear," he said, smiling dreamily.

I made a face and tore a piece of meat off the rotisserie chicken in front of me. We had bought a few of them from the Piggly Wiggly and torn into them for dinner. They now sat in front of us in tatters, barely resembling chickens or anything recognizable for that matter.

"You're not helping me," I muttered, taking a swig of beer. Quil grunted at me, focusing on the game playing on the flat screen.

"Don't get that on the sofa," I warned as he wiped his hands on his napkin. "Esme will kill me."

"Literally," he grinned.

I sighed. "Just…help me. What's it like to take her out somewhere? Does it feel like a date? Isn't that weird?"

"It's fun to take her out places. I can buy her stuff and…and if guys look at her, I can make a bunch of fifteen year old punks pee their pants just by looking at them. It's good," he said after thinking a moment. "It's not like date. I don't like her like that."

"You're sure?"

His eyes widened in frustration. "Yes, you whiny bitch. What did I just say? I don't see her like that. I duno…I still look at her and forget she's in high school sometimes. I feel like just yesterday she was in diapers. I mean, I'm glad she's not in diapers anymore…" he trailed off, wrinkling up his nose.

"You're just glad you don't have to play with Pretty Princess makeup sets anymore," I scoffed, taking another swig of beer. Quil made a face at me and continued eating.

"Don't her parents every worry that things will…uh..change soon?"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Why?"

He looked at me, leaning down so that his elbows were resting on his knees. "When Claire is with me…how do I explain this…" he paused, thinking. "When Claire is with me, Claire wears her seatbelt. Claire doesn't wear skanky tops. Claire doesn't talk to boys. Claire comes home half an hour before curfew. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"You're like a glorified chaperone?"

"Exactly."

I smiled to myself as I thought about our conversation. Needless to say, he had made me feel better about my new role in Regan's life.

My wolf senses went into overdrive as I reached the top of the steps and my nose was assaulted by my imprint's intoxicating scent. It was her, mixed with the things from her everyday life; soap, hairspray, laundry detergent, and things like that. It was just so…her.

I tried to reign myself in as I dug through the linen closet at the end of the hall. My mom always kept a couple extra pairs of sweats and ratty t-shirts here in case I needed them. Usually I only needed them when I had to phase on the fly, but tonight qualified as a time that I needed new clothes. I did not want to go down to dinner with my imprint reeking like fish and sweat.

I showered quickly, even taking a moment to open the foreign looking shampoo bottle that was in Sue and Charlie's shower, taking a quick whiff. Mmm, so that's where the cherry almond scent came from. The vanilla must be her perfume then? Looking around, I didn't see anything else that was new in their shower. I stood there like an idiot in the hot stream of water for several more seconds. I was perfectly happy being lame and sniffing girly products that now adorned the shower ledge.

"I'm a looooserrr," I chuckled to myself as I quickly dried my body. I dressed and flipped off the bathroom light, suddenly catching a view of Bella's old room in my peripheral vision.

Regan's room.

I stopped suddenly, thankful that my feet were nearly silent on the hardwood floor. The last thing I wanted to do was get caught snooping around her room like a creep. Which I wasn't. I just wanted to see it. Okay, so maybe I was being a little creepy.

The door was open, so I carefully stepped inside. I was amazed at how much it already smelled like her. Traces of Leah's scent lingered in the air, but they were quickly fading from Regan living here. After a few moments, I collected my dorky self and went back downstairs to try to talk to her. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

We sat down to dinner and I dug in, stocking my plate high with steaming potatoes, fried fish, and green beans. It looked good and smelled even better after a long day of fishing in the cold. I looked up and caught Regan's bright green eyes.

"Eat much?" she muttered, looking back down at her plate. I watched her skip the fish and just eat green beans and potatoes.

I balked slightly and looked at my mom, who had an amused look on her face. I slowly picked up one of the fried fish filets and dropped it back onto the main serving platter. Regan made a face and picked up her fork to pick at the food on her plate.

We ate for a few minutes, Sue chattering away about the gossip at the store and Charlie talking about the spray painting vandals we were trying to catch.

"Right Seth?"

I looked over at Charlie, reluctant to peel my eyes from watching Regan eat. "What?"

My mom kicked my leg under the table and I winced.

"Our little spray painting artists?" Charlie prodded, chewing a piece of potato.

"Uh…yeah, they're prolly gonna hit the grocery store or the bank next, we think," I finally managed to stammer.

"Yeah, that's what I just said there sport," Charlie quipped, wiping his mouth with his napkin.

Shit.

The clock on the wall was the only sound in the kitchen as we ate, and I suddenly felt like I was in front of a firing squad. However, this one had a mouthy sixteen year old at the main trigger, waiting to fire if I said something wrong.

"Regan likes school so far," Charlie offered. Wow, this must be bad if Charlie is trying to make conversation.

"That's cool," I tried to say casually. I winced as my voice squeaked a little. What the hell? Was I suddenly sixteen again?

"She even made some new friends," my mom added, giving her an encouraging smile.

I watched Regan as she stabbed a green bean with her fork, dragging it around her place in a pattern. "Yeah, I guess."

"You went out with them last night, they must be friends," my mom tried again. I looked at Charlie, who was still chewing thoughtfully.

"Didn't you girls have fun?" he asked. It was almost painful how hard they were trying to get this girl to talk.

Regan's expressive green eyes flicked up to meet mine over the table. She was testing me again; I could practically smell it. She wanted to see if I would rat her out. Little did she know, that was the last thing on my mind.

"Yeah, we did. The movie was good," she replied, taking a sip of her drink. She looked up at me again, over the top of her cup, and my heart began to pound.

Charlie and Sue continued to attempt to pry conversation out of her for the rest of dinner, and Regan seemed to make up her mind to completely ignore me as well.

After dinner, Regan helped my mom with the dishes while I cleaned up the backyard with Charlie.

"I have to talk to you about Regan," Charlie muttered, motioning me to the side of the house. My heart sped up as we walked a few paces with our buckets full of fish guts. He opened a heavy garbage bag and I dumped the remains in it, watching carefully as he tied the bags.

"What is it?" I asked. I silently cursed myself for sounding too eager, but Charlie didn't seem to notice.

"I wanted to see what you thought about Regan."

My eyes shifted up to his, gauging what he meant. It would be just like me to blurt out something stupid at a moment like this. Did he know? Of course not…he couldn't know…

"Yeah?"

I managed to stay somewhat nonchalant. Good Seth. Just keep it casual…

"You think she's alright?"

I felt my eyes widen slightly before I had a chance to control myself. This was definitely weird for Charlie to talk to me like this.

"Uh, I don't know what you mean."

"Well…she just seems like she's having a hard time. A lot like Bella did when she first…well…just help me with her, alright?"

"How so Charlie?"

"Well…I always felt better when Bella went to the rez with Jake where I knew people would keep an eye on her. Don't you know some younger kids that would be good for her to…you know…I don't know, get out of the house, make some friends with?"

My cheeks began to burn with jealousy. He wanted younger kids for her, as he should. Not some old police officer…

"Uh, sure," I stuttered, my voice slightly shaky. I silently hoped that Charlie didn't notice. "I think uh…I think she knows Claire. I'm not sure how that went, but…"

"Yeah, she and Claire met. I get the notion they didn't quite hit it off."

"I'll uh…try my best to watch out for her Charlie."

Well at least I didn't have to lie on that one.

I reassured Charlie that I would do my best to make sure Regan stayed out of trouble and that none of the kids at the high school gave her any trouble. What I didn't add was that I would be sleeping under her window almost every night to make sure nothing supernatural with a taste for blood came after her. But he didn't need to know that much.

I glanced up at Regan's bedroom window, which was right above where we stood in the lawn, cleaning up the fish guts. Several times I thought I saw her curtain flutter with movement when I wasn't looking, but I wasn't sure. I cleaned up with Charlie and retreated back inside the house where my mom was.

"Seth," she hissed, yanking me into the laundry room. I glanced over my shoulder at Charlie, who was settling into his armchair with the crossword. I knew that damn crossword bought us some time.

"What is it?"

"Are you out of your mind?" she asked, her dark eyes wide. My eyes narrowed at her and I sighed.

"What now?"

I cowered slightly as my mother squared herself with me, her eyes glinting. "Do I have to remind you that that is a sixteen year old girl up there, Seth? She's sixteen. Get it? Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this…I'm not ready…"

I gripped her shoulders, trying to bite back a laugh. "Mom, it's not like that. Trust me. Look at Quil, and Jake. Trust me – Jake would have my nut- Jake would be pissed if that's what was going on."

She glared at me in a warning. "Still. If I have to kick your chair during dinner so that you don't stare at her while we eat then you're not going to be getting many more dinner invites, is that clear?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Mom, this is my imprint. It's not strange, or sexual, or…I can't believe I'm talking to you about this. I don't see her…like that."

"You could have fooled me, mister glassy eyes!" she snapped. Her eyes shifted nervously when she heard Charlie's paper move, and we both looked towards the living room.

"Sue?" Charlie called. "Have you seen my good pen?"

"Um, I think it was on the coffee table," she called, before turning her attention back at me. "Now you listen here. You might be my son, but if I so much as think that something inappropriate is going on-"

"Mom, you saw her. She hates me – she thinks I'm weird, I can just tell. You don't have to worry about that."

Charlie called out again. "Sue, it's not in here."

She stuck her head out of the laundry room. "Charlie, what you need to ask yourself is why is that pen labeled 'good'?"

She returned to me. "I mean it, Seth. Cop or no cop I'll…"

I snickered. "Call the cops on me?"

My mom smacked me once more before Charlie appeared in the doorway. "What are you two doing in here?" he asked.

Sue, ever the quick thinker, grabbed a pair of his dirty jeans off the top of the washer, and pretended to be fishing around in them.

"Can't find that pen. Did you take it to work?" she asked nonchalantly. Charlie gave her a weird look, but shook his head.

"Nope, can't figure it out. Musta just lost it. Say um…why are you guys in the laundry closet?"

I looked down at my mom, and she grinned at Charlie. "Never mind," she laughed, pushing past him. "Why don't I make some brownies?" she asked. Charlie opened his mouth like he was going to protest and question us further, but brownies obviously enticed him more.

"Sure," he nodded, following Sue into the kitchen. I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to calm myself down before heading into the kitchen after them. She did say brownies after all.

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	13. Chapter 13

Regan

When I went to sleep that night, I could still hear Seth downstairs talking to his mom and Charlie. I laid in bed for almost an hour listening to him talk to them about different things. Sometimes he spoke loud enough that I could hear him, other times not. Didn't he have a life? What was he still doing here at ten o' clock on a Saturday night? Better yet, why the hell was I in bed at ten o'clock on a Saturday night? Forks was definitely making me into the epitome of lameness.

I tossed and turned a bit, getting my feet tangled up in the sheets. But as much as I tried, I couldn't seem to get comfortable. I guess I thought that going to sleep would make the days go by faster, if anything. I sighed and rolled over onto my side so that I was facing the door. I listened to Seth talk about something having to do with Leah's wedding. I guess they had decided to have it on the beach somewhere near here, so Sue was all excited about planning that. I listened to the deep baritone sound of Seth's voice as he spoke. It was funny…when he was excited, he spoke in a higher tone, but when he was calm and talking to Charlie, his voice was deeper and more relaxed. I preferred the latter. It was almost…soothing to listen to, as the smooth tones of his voice floated up the staircase and into my room.

It was so soothing that I barely had time to chide myself for liking the sound of his voice before I drifted off to sleep. I think I had been asleep for awhile when the dream began.

I kicked the sheets off, wanting to leave. Opening the window, I climbed out onto Charlie's roof and contemplated jumping. I felt scared, but I knew that I didn't want to stay there. I jumped, sailing to the ground and landing softly on my feet. The yard was dark and misty, and it was raining like usual. For some reason, I wanted to go into the woods. There was something I wanted in the woods…

The ferns and undergrowth pulled and scratched at my clothes as I wove my way through the trees. I could see a light up ahead, and I wanted to see what was up there so badly…

Suddenly, I was aware that I wasn't alone…no…something was out there. I turned my head to look, but everything was blurry and dark, and I couldn't make my eyes see like I wanted them to. Nothing was working like it should. My arms and legs felt heavy and almost drunk. Turning around, I looked behind me and to the sides, but didn't see anything that looked alarming. I was about to take another step when suddenly I saw a man in front of me.

"Who are you?" I gasped, squinting my eyes to see him. He was so far ahead that I couldn't see his face clearly. Suddenly, he was standing not twenty feet from me in the forest.

I gasped loudly, covering my mouth. He didn't move or say anything else, but I knew enough to be frightened of him. His eyes glittered red, and his skin was pale and made my own skin want to crawl.

I knew I had to get away.

My foot had just left the ground to start to run when suddenly I heard a growling noise. Oh no! The wolves! I was a goner now, even if this was a dream. I looked behind me, still struggling to make my body do what I wanted it to. It felt like I was swimming in concrete as it dried.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw the glowing yellow eyes of the wolves as they appeared from behind the trees. My body shook with fear as they all stalked into the small clearing where I stood, their eyes glittering with hate.

I glanced back at the man on the other side of me, and he lowered himself into a crouch and hissed. The wolves echoed with resounding rumbles in their throats, and my body continued to shake in terror as I realized they were all going to attack me.

I slowly closed my eyes and begged my body to wake up.

It wasn't working. I wanted to wake up so badly.

Suddenly, the wolves took off after the man on the other side of the clearing. They flew past me, and I shivered as I felt their fur brush against my sides as they ran past. When I opened my eyes, they were gone. I turned and ran back in the direction I had come, wanting nothing more than to get away from that place. My feet fought against me as I ran, sinking into the wet earth. The trees seemed to hinder me as I fought to find Charlie's yard; it was like they wanted to keep me in the forest as prisoner!

I collided with something hot and hard, falling to the wet ground. I looked up, squinting at the sudden light that had flooded my vision. It was almost too bright; it was like I was looking up into the sun.

A hand came down and pulled me up so that I was standing next to whoever it was. Blinking several times in the strange shining light, I realized that it was Seth.

"Seth?"

"Regan," he said, smiling down at me. I felt my body being encased in warmth, almost like I was suddenly in the warm Phoenix sunlight again. I smiled, relieved to see him. In fact, I almost had forgotten about the strange man and the wolves that had attacked him.

"It's okay," he said, reaching down. He scooped up my body, turning to walk in the direction of Charlie's house.

"Seth, we have to get out of the woods," I said, my voice echoing and blurring. He smiled down at me as he carried me, shaking his head.

"It's alright. It'll all be alright," he repeated, walking smoothly through the dense forest. I nodded, feeling suddenly safe.

"Seth, what were those wolves after?" I asked.

He sighed as he walked into Charlie's backyard. "Just promise me you'll stay out of the woods, Regan," he said with a smile. My eyes connected with his chocolate brown ones, and I felt my heart start to race. He set me down…

I shot up in bed, panting. "What the…" I mumbled, blinking several times. I took several deep breaths, realizing that I was safe and sound in my bedroom at Sue and Charlie's. But…my dream felt so vivid and real that my heart was still pounding. What had Seth meant? Stay out of the woods? That was weird. I knew it was just a dream, but I had never had one be so completely believable and vivid before. Why did I have a dream like that? I couldn't explain it, and I wasn't really sure that I wanted to.

That was hands down the weirdest dream I had ever had. But what did it mean?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I awoke again that morning with a start. My breaths came out choppy again as I tried to remind myself that I was just in my bedroom at Charlie's. I sat up with a groan, feeling my back crack and snap with my usual morning stiffness. It thundered somewhere in the distance, and I looked out the window to see the usual steady stream of rain pouring down the glass window.

"Ulgh, rain again?" It felt like it was impossible to get anything accomplished when it was this rainy and disgusting out. I was very happy that it was Sunday and I didn't have to do anything important.

I stood up and stretched, glaring at the ugly sea-foam green walls of Bella's old room. How had Leah not cared enough to re-paint the hideous color? The color of the wall along with the sound of the rain pounding on the roof of the tiny house mocked me. Try to have a good day today, they said. I dare you.

Throwing on a hoodie, I went downstairs to see what Charlie and Sue were up to. I had to admit, even though the weather was dreary outside, the demeanor inside was far from it. The lights shone brightly in the homey living room, and the TV glowed from its spot above the fireplace. It smelled like Sue was baking something already, and on top of the aroma of coffee called to me. Charlie sat on the couch next to Sue, reading his paper and watching the morning news. Sue sat, hunched over the coffee table that was covered with clippings from wedding magazines. I briefly wondered if her daughter Leah cared whether or not her mother appeared to be planning her wedding or not.

"Good morning," Sue called as I slipped by, into the kitchen.

I grunted in response and rubbed my eyes. I listened to them talk as I rummaged around for a coffee mug.

"She won't care for this mess," Charlie mused, looking up over his paper. Sue made a hissing sound in the back of her throat, playfully smacking him with the magazines she was nervously rolling as she looked over her clippings.

"She'll need something to organize anyway. Leah agreed to let her do this as long as we could present it to her in a few weeks at Thanksgiving in a clear, concise way," she said, shrugging. I listened to them go back and forth about it for a few more minutes as I shuffled into the living room.

"Are we having company today?" I asked, surveying all the clippings that were scattered around the room. Sue looked up suddenly, appearing surprised at my voice.

She nodded. "Yes, um…Bella's sister-in-law is coming today to help me get some things organized before Leah sees them," Sue said. Her voice was laced with a bit of apprehension, but she tried to smile. I nodded, sipping my black coffee.

"Alice," Charlie said, giving me a pleased smile. "You'll like Alice…everybody does," he finished.

She looked at him sideways, as if she knew something he didn't. I watched as Charlie smiled again, lifting up his newspaper to continue reading.

"Alice is a…um…she's a wedding planner up in Canada where they live now. She has to go to Los Angeles for something, and she has agreed to stop by and erm…help me," Sue said, arranging a few cut outs of bouquets on her coffee table. I watched as she anxiously arranged them, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Do you not like her?" I suddenly asked. Sue froze, her eyes darting up to meet mine. She smiled tightly, shaking her head.

"No, of course not. I like Alice just fine," She said finally, giving me a nod. I watched as she went back to flipping through another issue of Modern Bride. Something was fishy here….

x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-

After getting the ultra weird vibes from Sue about this sister-in-law of Bella's, I retreated back up to my room to attempt some yoga. It was something I hadn't done much since I had arrived in Forks, but I did it all the time at home. People in Phoenix were all about yoga, vegetarianism, being environmentally aware and 'green'. But here…I think everyone here was just busy figuring out the best way to keep dry with all of the stupid rain.

I rolled out my purple yoga mat and lit a candle to help myself relax. I peeled off my hoodie and sat in the middle of the room in my t-shirt and yoga pants, trying to breathe deeply and clear my racing head. As I stretched, I kept thinking about the dream from the night before. I didn't usually have dreams that were that vivid or detailed; I could remember almost everything about what I had seen.

It didn't sit well with me for some reason.

I tried to do my homework after that, but my desk was situated right in front of the window facing the backyard. I stared into the golden leaves, only blinking occasionally when the drops of rain would hit their leaves and make them bounce, startling me. I wasn't going to get anything done this way.

Gathering up my pen and books, I walked out into the upstairs hallway to head downstairs. But…something caught my eye. I slowed, looking at the pictures that lined the short hallway before I reached the stairs. I hadn't really taken the time to look at them before, but now I was curious. Would I find a picture of Charlie's long lost daughter?

Stop being stupid, I chided myself. Just because she's gone now and he seems sad when he talks about her doesn't mean a thing.

I did see one picture of her; she plain looking pale girl with the long hair. She smiled unsurely from the photo back at me, her brown eyes wide and trusting, her expression tentative. I would be interested to see what age did to change her.

Next, I saw picture of Sue and another man; he was older than Charlie from the looks of the photo, and bore the same beautiful toffee colored Native skin that Sue had. He had black and grey hair that hung down to his shoulders, and a familiar pair of brown eyes that squinted as he smiled. I glanced around for another photo, but only saw one. Could this be Seth's father?

Moving along, I spied a picture of two children standing in front of a house, proudly holding up a fishing line full of freshly caught fish, grinning widely. It was a boy and a girl, I guessed were maybe ten and six. The girl was tall and lanky, with long, dark brown hair, and the boy was small and skinny as well, and boasted a similar grin as the girl. Again, I spied the same happily squinting eyes that looked so familiar…

It was Seth.

I smiled to myself, feeling strangely odd to like the picture of him as a little boy. It was weird really; he had the same exact wide, toothy grin and happy eyes, just with twenty years or so added to his face.

Footsteps on the stairs startled me. Looking down, I noticed Sue walking up with a basket full of laundry in her arms.

"Checking out our family history?" she asked, smiling as she climbed the last few steps. I nodded shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ears.

"Uh, yeah, just looking," I mumbled. She tossed the laundry basket down inside the doorway to their bedroom and turned back to me.

"Oh, I have lots more where those came from. Here, come see," she said, motioning to her bedroom. I followed her in, taking in the unfamiliar yet strangely comforting smell of the tiny bedroom that she shared with Charlie. It smelled of Dove soap, Old Spice, and laundry detergent, with just a hint of something cinnamon. I sat down on the chair next to the bed as she pulled out an album of pictures, all labeled together neatly and organized in the progression of years.

She moved through them quickly, and for that I was glad. There was nothing more awful then having to 'ooh' and 'ahh' over someone else's baby pictures. However…I found myself wishing she would go slower as she got to the part where Seth was born. He was probably one of the cutest babies I'd ever seen. Is it possible that he had been born smiling? There wasn't one picture where the kid looked pissed. My mom had several pictures of me screaming or crying over the years – but Seth…Seth just looked content no matter what.

She showed me pictures of her former husband, Leah as a teen, and Seth's school pictures. It was the first time I had seen her daughter, and Leah was a lot like Sue. Both were beautiful and actually quite striking with their practically black hair, perfect tan skin, and eyes so dark they were almost black. However, both of them also had that 'cross me and I'll make you sorry' looks.

"Is Seth always happy?" I blurted out as she closed the album. I watched her pause as she slipped it back onto the shelf under her bedside lamp. She looked at me from behind the curtain of her silky black hair that had fallen in her face, blinking suddenly.

"Why do you ask?"

I paused, not wanting to look too anxious. "Just wondering. Leah always looked kind of serious. Seth…not so much."

She nodded, tucking her shiny strands of hair behind her ears. "Well…he's always been rather good-natured. He took after Harry quite a bit…"

I nodded, standing up from my perch. "He just…nothing ever seems to bother Seth. He never gets angry," I said, shrugging casually. Sue smiled tightly at me as she emptied the clean clothes into the drawers. She slammed one shut, picking her basket back up.

"He rarely gets angry. But…he's like everyone I guess. Eventually people break, even my happy boy," she said. Turning to leave the room, I swore I heard her mumble, "He has to," under her breath, but I couldn't be sure.

As I gathered up my things to do my homework, I was now more convinced than ever that I was going crazy. I practically cursed myself when I looked out the window towards the street as a random truck drove by. Part of me wished it was the ugly Bronco that I despised so much. What on earth?

Silently berating myself, I pulled out my school books and went downstairs to sit with Charlie and Sue. They looked pleased that I was making an effort to spend some time with them, and I was okay with that. I had expected to hate living here and hate Sue and Charlie. When my mom had told me that they had volunteered to let me stay with them, I had made up my mind to hate them both and stay as far away as I could. However, it was hard to hate people that tried so hard to get me to like them. Charlie understood my private side, and sitting through a meal in silence with him wasn't a horrible event. Sue tended to hover a bit more than I liked, but she was trying to so hard that I had to at least cut her a little bit of a break. Watching her excitement over her daughter's wedding made me realize that she just missed having her own daughter around. As much as I disliked the actual town of Forks, I had to admit that Charlie and Sue really weren't that bad. The least I could do was be civil to them.

I hunched over the coffee table, writing a very half-assed attempt at a short story summary for British Lit – that class was going to be the death of me. In a way, a lot of the stories I read reminded me of my dream. The strange objects and scenery all represented something, but I couldn't tell what. I wished they would just come right out and say what they meant half the time. Trying to decipher all the hidden meanings got tiring. I also wished that I knew what my weird ass dream was about, but…

As I sat and scribbled down some junk about metaphors, I caught my mind wandering to Seth. I wondered what he was up to today and why he hadn't made an appearance yet. When car tires pulled up in the driveway, I actually caught myself hoping that they were his. However, the quiet hum of the car's engine was a vast difference from the rumble of his ugly Bronco.

I heard the sound of her heels as they clacked quickly up the front porch steps, pausing at the door.

"It's open Alice," Charlie called, setting his paper down. I looked over toward the door just as a small woman breezed in, the scent of fresh rain coming inside with her.

"Hello, Alice," Sue said from the couch. Charlie jumped up from his spot beside her and rushed over to greet our guest. I was happy to stay put.

To say this woman was intimidating was an understatement. Everything about her said 'stay out of my busy little way!' From her important looking portfolio folder she carried to her matching Burberry patterned umbrella and scarf, nothing about this woman looked unorganized. On top of that, she was possibly the most immaculately dressed person I had ever laid eyes on. She wore skintight jeans and the highest heeled boots ever invented, or at least in my book…was she crazy? With all the rain and ice I had already seen, heels that high looked like a death wish. When she removed her long raincoat, I saw that she wore a simple black sweater, yet it was adorned with several long necklaces with glittering 'CC's on them. I didn't know a lot about haute couture fashion, but I knew enough to realize that this girl meant business.

She hugged Charlie hello, giving Sue a polite wave as she hung up her coat by the door. When she saw me sitting there in front of the coffee table on the floor, she froze for a second.

"Oh!" she said with a charming smile. "You must be Regan!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sue stiffen as Alice practically danced over to me, her boots clicking on the hardwood floors. Her necklaces clanged together as she sat down in front of the coffee table, opposite me. She beamed, flashing her immaculately straight white teeth.

"I'm Alice," she said. I waited for her to extend her hand, but she never did. Her pale, snowy white skin was a stark contrast to the dark clothes she wore, and for a moment I was in awe of how beautiful this girl was. Her strange yellow eyes blinked, taking me in. Something about her was strange, but…I was too in awe of how utterly gorgeous she was to even care.

"Uh, hi," I said, gripping my mechanical pencil. She grinned, glancing over at Sue. I watched as they exchanged a brief look, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

"Bella told me that her father would have a houseguest living with him. I'm so happy you're here to keep Charlie in line," she added, giving him a tiny wink. Charlie just chuckled to himself and I swore I saw his cheeks grow a little pinker at her jibe.

"Yeah, I'm keeping him in line alright," I muttered, looking back down at my homework. I could feel her curious eyes on me, and I looked up to her strange yet enchanting gaze.

"How do you like Forks?" she asked politely, clasping her hands in her lap. I shifted in front of the coffee table, shrugging.

"I like it alright," I said flatly, looking back down at my homework. Alice laughed, her high pitched giggles ringing in the tiny living room.

"Oh, it grows on you, I promise," she said. I couldn't help but crack a tiny smile…Alice's laugh was infectious.

She made more polite conversation with me as she and Sue flipped through wedding catalogs. Alice had brought lots of things with her for Sue to look at, and I finally understood why she had agreed to let Alice help. This woman knew what she was doing when it came to weddings.

"…and we'll have all the men wear this color…it will look nice with these," Alice muttered, pulling a swatch of fabric out of her folder.

"You're sure?" Sue asked skeptically. Alice nodded quickly, her eyes lighting up as she placed all the swatches together, completing the look.

"Oh yes…she'll like this a lot." Sue nodded, still looking a bit unsure.

"I'm just glad she agreed to let me help," Alice said.

Sue nodded stiffly. "She's coming around," she replied. "Any help is needed. I just go with what looks pretty."

"Just go with these colors while you're planning, and that should be fine. I mean, I can't exactly tell how they'll look on the groomsmen…but…you know how that is," she laughed merrily.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as I pretended to work on my homework. Sue sat stiffly on the couch next to Alice, and I guessed that she must make her feel a bit uncomfortable. I could see why – if it weren't' for her kind smile and constant happy laughter, this girl could possibly be a bit intimidating.

As if she knew I was thinking about her, Alice's eyes flicked up and met mine. The strange color of her irises seemed to shine, and she smiled at me. Knowing I'd been caught, I smiled awkwardly back, trying not to look rude. I liked Alice, but I had to admit…something was definitely weird.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	14. Chapter 14

Seth

"So Regan thinks you're as lame as you really are, huh?" Quil asked me.

"Shut up Quil, you're not exactly the epitome of cool either," Claire shot at him.

"Thanks Claire," I laughed, popping a piece of steak into my mouth. She snickered at Quil as he pretended to pout, and I shook my head at them.

"Claire…"He whined. She shot him a no-nonsense glare and he quieted, not wanting to ruffle her feathers. I couldn't say that I blamed him.

"Good thing she cooks. That's the only reason I let you guys come over," I said. It was Sunday, and Quil had brought Claire over to cook on my rarely used grill on the back deck. She had found a way to prepare deer meat that was pretty good, and we were up for any chance to let her prepare us a meal. I watched as she topped a piece of meat with cream cheese, a jalapeño ring, and then rolled it a piece of bacon. And after sticking a toothpick through it, she tossed another seven or eight of them on the grill.

"Those about done?" Quil asked her. Claire pulled her coat tighter around her body as she flipped the 'poppers' as we called them.

"You know, these things are a heart attack waiting to happen," she teased. Quil snorted, shoving another one in his mouth.

"Nah, I prolly burn it off too fast anyway."

"Sure," she replied with an eye roll. I watched Claire cook in the chilly night air for us, sipping my beer and leaning back in the lawn chair. Claire had known about the 'wolf' thing since she was a little girl, and she had always been extremely gracious with our strange genetic mutation.

"What's up with you?" Claire mumbled, glancing over her shoulder at me. I smiled weakly, shrugging.

"Nothin'."

Quil snorted. "He's upset coz Regan thinks he's lame."

"He is lame," she said with a shrug. I exchanged a look with Quil. Claire didn't know about imprinting just yet, and had no clue that I had imprinted on Regan. Quil was waiting until she was older to explain it all to her, and rightfully so. Personally, I could see Claire really freaking out about the whole thing.

"Thanks Claire. Love you too," I muttered, taking another long sip of beer. Quil gave me a sympathetic look, shrugging.

Claire paused, her cooking tongs poised over the grill. Frowning, she looked over her shoulder at me. "Wait, why do you care what Regan thinks of you anyway?"

Shit.

"Uh…well…" I had to think fast. Claire couldn't know why I cared – she would think I was a creep! "Well, I spend a lot of time over at Sue and Charlie's, given that uh, you know, Sue's my mom!" I said, trying to laugh it off casually.

Claire frowned again, but eventually her face softened and her eyebrows went back to normal. "Oh, yeah, I forgot all about that for a second. Well…she doesn't really like anyone; I wouldn't take it too personally."

I raised my eyebrows in interest, meeting eyes with Quil. He had the same look on his face.

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

Claire turned the poppers over on the grill, shaking her head. "I dunno, she just...she's weird."

"Is she weird or were you just being yourself to her?" Quil asked knowingly. She stuck her tongue out at him and he shook his head. "Exactly."

"She's just…kinda sarcastic and…"

"Oh, so kind of like you?" I shot back at her. I was trying not to get defensive on Regan's behalf, but…that was hard sometimes. She was my imprint, damn it. I didn't want anyone to have a negative thought about her, period. My overprotective side was quickly getting the better of me.

"Shut up, Seth," she laughed, pulling the meat off the grill. I sat up in my chair expectantly, sniffing the sizzling deer steak.

"Down boy," she snickered, wrinkling up her nose.

"Have you been over there again?" Quil asked, and I shook my head.

"No, I think she thought I was weird enough as it is," I answered honestly. What I didn't mention in front of Claire was that I did patrol by her house every single night, and had even spent two of those nights sleeping in wolf form under her window.

"You are weird," Claire mumbled. She passed the cooked food to Quil and me, reaching over to snag a popper for herself.

"Geez Claire! Cut me a break, will ya?" I chuckled, taking another long swig of my beer. It was shaping up to be one of those nights where I would attempt to drink too much after the two of them left.

"Yeah Claire, get a life besides torturing Seth!" Quil teased her. Claire thought for a moment, but said nothing. I could practically see the snarky response forming in her head.

"Just say it," I grumbled, knowing she was thinking something.

"Don't be ugly," Quil warned her.

"Maybe you should get a life and stop prowling outside teenage girls' bedroom windows at night!" Claire shot at me. Her dark brown eyes sparkled mischievously as she dodged Quil's playful swat.

My mouth dropped open.

"I knew that was you! Really, Seth? Cut the girl a break…"

"I was just curious. I uh…I wanted to get her scent so that I could help her if she ever needed it, is all," I stuttered quickly. "She does live with Sue and Charlie now."

"Whatever," Claire said, shaking her head. "I so knew that was you. I thought I saw a scraggly looking, sandy haired -" She was cut off when Quil grabbed her hand and gently yanked her over to stand by his chair. Claire giggled as my eyes widened.

"I am not scraggly looking!" I thundered, trying not to laugh. I wanted to defend my wolf side!

Quil just ate some more food and rolled his eyes at both of us.

"So why do you think Regan thinks you're weird?" Quil questioned with his mouth full of food. I rolled my eyes and looked away from his open mouthed chomping while Claire giggled at him. I watched as she sat down in her chair and propped her feet up on Quil's legs as she ate. He smiled at her through the food and gave her feet a few playful jiggles before continuing to eat. As I watched them together, I couldn't help but wonder…would I ever get that? Now that I had found my imprint, I wanted her around. It wasn't anything romantic; I just wanted to be near her; to know that she was okay. Quil and Claire pulled it off. She just thought that he was her werewolf babysitter and best friend. It wasn't anything sexual or weird or awkward; they were just 'them'…just Quil and Claire. Would I eventually get to have that kind of friendship with Regan?

I ached for it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Later that night, after Quil had taken Claire home, I realized that I had forgotten to do something extremely important. In all of my excitement of imprinting, I had completely forgotten about it.

I needed to kick Brady's ass.

I didn't just want to kick it. I wanted to beat the hell out of him, wipe up his drool and blood with his own furry tail and then hand him his own ass on a silver platter. Then I wanted him to maybe cry a little.

I laughed to myself as I finished the last of my beer. I pictured Brady crying and…I liked it.

The angel sitting on my shoulder shook its head at me. The devil – the wolf whose potential mate had been used like a cheap piece of meat – gave a sinister growl.

I knew he didn't know that I had imprinted on Regan when he slept with her, but I didn't really care. I knew that Jake and Quil would have felt the same way, so I didn't really feel guilty about doing what I was about to do. In all honesty, I was upset that the little punk could see Regan in that way. I mean, I was fine with not being able to picture my imprint like that because she was young; that was expected and it didn't bother me a bit. However, the fact that he could see her like that and was able to hook up with her really pissed me off and made me want to shove his face into a pile of jagged rocks; or maybe a tree….or maybe hold him underwater until his nuts turned blue. Any of those options would please me at this point.

As I stripped down to phase for my patrol shift, I could barely contain my excitement. I patrolled with Brady tonight. The stars had been aligned. The gods were smiling down on me. Karma was on my side. It was go time.

I rarely fought or even play fought with my brothers, and I discovered that I was itching for a fight. Not just a scuffle over food or snapping at someone because you were tired…but an all out brawl. I was usually so even tempered because…well…I just was. Anger and resentment to me was like water rolling off a duck's feathers. It just didn't stick.

Brady phased a few seconds after I did, and I was already on my way to his house. Hell, I barely even blocked out my thoughts and plans about kicking his furry ass as I ran to where he was. If he wanted to know what was going for him then…fine. I laughed in my head as I saw his speechless reaction.

!

Yeah, that's right.

I'm getting the fuck outta here, he said.

I laughed sadistically. Fine. I'll just come find you.

Go ahead, I can run all night.

Not as fast as I can. We both know you're not as fast as I am.

Be serious. You're not going to kick my ass.

You know Brady, most of the time if you say something enough it becomes true. This is not one of those times. I'm going to kick your ass.

For what?

You know why. No games. No pretenses. Just ass kicking.

I'm callin' your bluff, Clearwater.

That's fine.

I could hear his panic at my blaze tone. I could see in his mind that he knew I was serious. I was dead serious. No amount of bullshitting or trash talking would distract me.

You're not really going to do this.

How much money do you have?

I bet you'll take one swipe at me and calm down.

You fucked my underage imprint. Bring it.

Seth, you and I both know you're not a fighter.

Nervous, are we?

You don't want to kick my ass, Seth. I know you, and I know that's not what you want to do, he snorted.

Yes, that used to be me…BEFORE I IMPRINTED. That was a different Seth. Now it's GAME ON.

You don't mean that.

Why don't you come to where I am and find out?

You're serious?

…as a heart attack. Scared yet?

I could hear the tone in his thoughts change the closer I got to him. Like I said, I wasn't as big as Jake, but what I lacked in muscle I made up for in speed. Having an impossibly fast vampire as a close friend had also taught me a thing or two about being a quick fighter.

Fuck, I heard him mutter. He finally stopped in the clearing just north of First Beach and accepted his fate.

Good dog, I laughed as I skidded into the clear space. He twitched his tail and pulled his lips over his teeth, trying to appear menacing.

Gosh Brady, what a pretty smile. Too bad I'm gonna knock half of those teeth out, I growled.

You're all talk Clearwater, he growled back. He was really doing his best to appear big and tough…too bad I wasn't buying any of it. He had pissed me off, making me more angry than I had ever been, and I wasn't about to let him get away with it.

Get away with what? That little slut was begging for it.

Shut up, mutt! I snapped. I almost surprised myself with the tone of my thoughts. I felt my own lips pull up and reveal my teeth, shocked at how much adrenaline my anger gave me.

Brady snapped his teeth at me in a dare. Was this kid honestly pushing me right now?

You bet I am, he laughed.

So is all this talk trying to make me change my mind about handing your ass to you? It's not working.

You're just pissed because I beat you to the punch. Be a man and get over it.

You're treading on dangerous territory. She's sixteen, Brady. Last time I checked, you're no sixteen year old.

You're just jealous that I got to your goods first. Enjoy my sloppy seconds, Seth.

He had barely completed his last thought when I lunged at his throat.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I stood in the shower the next morning, unsuccessfully trying to keep the smug grin off my face. I leaned forward against the cool tiles, watching the mud and dirt run down my feet and swirl on the floor. It had been a satisfying fight.

He had managed to get a few good shots in on me, but I knew that would happen. Brady was a good fighter. I didn't usually fight, but I was fueled by anger and rage that I didn't normally let myself feel. I didn't get angry often because that just wasn't who I was. Things had just always rolled off my back and not bothered me…until now.

The fact that Brady had nailed my imprint had made me see red and want to spit fire. Pinning Brady to the ground with a satisfying crunching sound had made me feel a lot better about things. Even if Regan didn't know it, I had fought in her honor like a knight. Her face had been at the front of her mind every time I sank my teeth into one of his body parts. Needless to say, I think he got the message.

After showing Brady what was what, I had loped over to Forks to check up on Regan. I sank to the ground at the edge of the tree line and just listened to the sound of her heart beating rhythmically in her bedroom. It was the most comforting sound I had ever heard. To be able to hear her slow breathing and be able to smell traces of her cherry almond and vanilla scent was the most rewarding thing ever. It made the fight worth it, because I had done it for her.

Several times during the fight, Brady had taunted me by showing me images of my imprint beneath him that night at the party. I had recoiled at the memory, but had countered back by using a mind trick to block him out that Edward had shown me. Then I had nearly taken his back leg off.

It had been a fulfilling, to say the least. I wasn't much of a fighter, but I had to admit that I could understand why certain pack members enjoyed a good match every once in awhile. It was exhilarating to roll around on the leaves, snapping your jaws and knocking down trees. Taking a chunk out of Brady was gratifying, but nowhere near the level of elation I felt when I had imprinted on Regan. She had made it all worth it.

I stood under the jets of hot water for a few more minutes, savoring the feeling of the steam as it rose in soothing clouds. Grabbing the soap, I lathered up my body and then rinsed, happy to have last night over with. Now, I would sleep all day and relax knowing that I had avenged my imprint to my satisfaction.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon as I yanked the dark blinds in Carlisle and Esme's bedroom shut, effectively blocking out the light. I lay down on the soft mattress, chuckling to myself about vampires having such a nice bed when they hadn't slept in eons. I had to admit, it didn't make any sense, but I was sure glad they had left their expensive bed to me. I grinned as I sank into the soft sheets, rolling around until I got comfortable. My eyes drifted to the other side of the bed – it was empty. But for the first time in a long time, I was okay with that. I had found my imprint, and nothing else mattered.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	15. Chapter 15

Regan

I balanced my lunch tray on top of my books, reaching for some juice. Once I had enough food to make it look like I had at least attempted lunch, I let my eyes scan the cafeteria lunchroom. It was Monday, and I hadn't heard from Courtney or Kenz since the party Friday night. Not that I expected to. They didn't really strike me as the 'concerned' type, so I wasn't shocked that Charlie's phone wasn't ringing off the hook with social calls for me.

The phone at Charlie's house had been silent; very silent, especially when I thought about the one person I really wanted to call me more than anything. I hadn't heard from my mom in almost a week. There had been one brief phone call when I first got to Charlie's safe and sound, but other than that, nothing. Not that I blamed her. If the shoe had been on the other foot and she put me through what I did her, I'm not sure I would want to talk to me either. I missed my mom, and I missed my house, and I missed Phoenix. Some days, I felt like I would never get used to Forks.

Time stood still for a second in the cafeteria as the memories of those last few days in Phoenix came back to me. We had gone from not speaking to fighting to screaming to slamming doors and all the way back to silence. I felt exhausted just thinking about it.

Courtney spotted me across the lunchroom and motioned for me to walk over. I didn't really feel like talking to them; I knew they would want to discuss Brady. Truthfully, I would do anything to forget that that awful incident had ever even happened. However, I was new in town with zero options, and I was still in no position to pass up their friendship charity. I had to go sit with them.

As soon as I placed my ugly plastic tray down on the table, they both began to chatter excitedly about the weekend.

"Oh my God, Regan, you have to tell us what happened with Brady!" Courtney insisted, tossing her dark dyed hair over her shoulder. Kenz giggled, nodding energetically.

"I know! We forgot to get your cell phone number, otherwise we would have called!"

"Oh, I um…don't have one."

Both of their jaws dropped open. "You don't have a cell phone? How is that even possible?"

Now, I could do two things here. I could tell them the truth, which was awfully embarrassing; or I could just lie. I chose option number two.

"I lost it in the airport…on the way here," I mumbled, nervously tucking my hair behind my ear. Honestly, it had been taken away from me after getting into trouble one too many times. I didn't care; I was almost positive that it wouldn't work in Forks anyway.

"That sucks. Well you have to get one, you can't be without a cell," Kenz insisted. "God, I would just die!" she said dramatically. I tried not to roll my eyes.

They tried and tried to pry information about what had happened with Brady out of me, even though I was almost positive that they already knew. I think they just wanted to hear me admit it. However, I held strong, playing coy and brushing off their questions. They weren't used to that.

"Well…I don't know how you could hookup with a hottie like that and not want the world to know about it," Courtney sighed, toying with the straw in her knock-off diet cola. I clicked my tongue and tried not to vomit just thinking about Brady. I was an idiot.

"Please don't tell me the cop got you in trouble." Kenz's voice broke me out of my daze.

"What cop?"

She wheezed through her nose in amazement. "Um, the cop that took you home? Hello?"

I tried to recover quickly from my momentary lapse. "Oh, right…yeah. That was just Sue's son, Seth. He's cool," I assured them quickly.

"He was hot," Kenz said.

"So hot," Courtney chimed in.

"Um…yeah," I mumbled, opening my juice box. A strange, jealous feeling rose up in my chest as they talked about Seth. I didn't want them to talk about Seth; I didn't want them to even know about Seth. I couldn't explain why, but I just…didn't. I shifted in my chair as they began to discuss the boys from La Push and how 'gorgeous' they all were. Listening to them as I gazed off into space, all I could see was Brady's beautifully deceiving face as he moved above me Friday night in his bedroom. I tried not to let them see me shudder.

"I mean, think about it; if you were doing a cop, you'd get away with anything!" Courtney said. "Don't you think Regan?"

"What?" I asked, snapping my attention back to her.

"What's with you today?" she asked, her tone indignant. "You're a million miles away."

"Sorry. Tired. It's Monday," I offered with a shrug.

She got bored trying to pry conversation out of me, and turned to Kenz. I was just happy to have a break from being on trial.

I fiddled with the straw as I gazed across the lunch room. I spotted Claire as she finished arranging her selections from the salad bar on her tray. She looked up and caught my eye, giving me an unsure smile. Her face got a sudden look of determination, and I wondered if she would be brave enough to come over to my table to say anything to the duo of social piranhas I was sitting with. If Kenz and Courtney wouldn't have spoken to me first, I probably still wouldn't know them, I admitted to myself. I nearly choked on my first drink as she confidently strode over, her long, dark brown hair floating out behind her.

"Just so you know, there's a pop quiz in Civics today," she said matter of factly. She hovered off to the side, as if she was afraid to get any closer to the lunch table where I sat.

"Oh, um, thanks. Thanks, Claire," I stuttered, surprised that she was so nice to me. Claire was definitely nicer to me than I deserved after snapping at her in my bedroom last week. She gave me a tight smile, her expressive brown eyes flicking up to look at Kenz and Courtney. The three girls seemed to exchange silent 'screw yous' as she stood there awkwardly beside our table.

"Thanks for the announcement, Claire," Kenz spat. "Don't you have a teacher's ass to go kiss somewhere?"

"Yeah, if you could spare the geek talk, we'd all feel better," Courtney added sarcastically. I felt my jaw drop open at their rudeness, but Claire didn't seem shaken at all.

"Don't you two have a bitches anonymous meeting to attend to somewhere?" she shot back at them, her tone blaze and uncaring. I bit back a giggle at her comeback, unsure of what to say in this situation. The three of them obviously did not get along.

When the two of them just gaped at her, she gave me a satisfied smirk. "See you later, Regan," she quipped, flouncing away.

My snotty lunchtime sidekicks were silent for a moment before beginning to babble about Claire now that she was gone.

"What a loser. What's the word? Oh yeah…square."

"She's such a little goody two shoes ass kisser."

"Lame."

"Right?"

Their babble was incessant, and I was quickly growing annoyed. What would Claire do if I walked over to her lunch table tomorrow and asked to sit down? I looked over my shoulder to where she sat, surrounded by all of her clean cut, popular looking friends. No, I definitely did not have the confidence to do that yet.

I made it through the rest of the day okay enough; Forks High wasn't hard to get used to. It was a fraction of the size of my old school back home, so by the end of my second week I had it memorized. Before I knew it, it was Friday again and I was at my locker, getting ready to go home.

Claire practically pranced up to her locker, as she always did at the end of each school day. She just always looked so happy and sure of herself that I couldn't help but be a little jealous.

"Big plans this weekend?" she asked, glancing over at me as she dug through her locker. I shrugged, setting my book bag down at my feet.

"Just homework."

She wrinkled her nose as she yanked her puffy coat from the already jammed locker. "Ick, that doesn't sound like fun. So I take it Charlie isn't exactly letting you out of the confines of the house, eh?"

I frowned, grabbing my math book and shoving it into my already heavy book bag. "No, he let me out last weekend. I just…felt like staying in, is all."

"Oh," she sniffed, reaching around to twist her long hair around to one side of her face. "Where did you go last weekend?"

"A party."

She rolled her eyes in true Claire fashion. "Well duh. Whose party?"

I felt my cheeks redden as I thought about my insanely stupid and reckless behavior the weekend before at the party. "Um, just some guys on a rez somewhere…" I mumbled, digging in my locker.

"La Push?" she asked with wide eyes. I looked away quickly, cringing that she knew exactly what I was talking about. "Brady's party?"

"Um…yeah," I said, trying to have my hair cover my crimson cheeks. I could feel my heartbeat ringing in my ears as she stared at me with her unforgiving brown eyes.

She stood in front of her locker, twirling a piece of her long brown hair; her face pensive. She looked like she was trying to say something specific to me, but couldn't decide how to do it.

"What?" I asked before I could think. She blinked, jutting her chin out.

"Nothing."

I paused, picking up my light jacket. "It's not like you to hold back," I muttered.

She caught my snide remark and gave me an approving smirk. She must not have cared that I could be mouthy sometimes.

"Never mind, it's not important."

"Okayyy…"

"Well…a bunch of us are going to get a study group together for the next Brit Lit test…I think we might meet on Sunday night if you're interested," she finally said.

I realized that she wasn't going to bring up the party after all. Did she somehow know that I didn't want to talk about it? I thought a moment, debating what to say. "Um…yeah, maybe. Will you call me?" I asked.

She nodded, whipping out her shiny cell phone. "What's your cell?"

I cringed again, picking up my loaded book bag. "Um…I don't have one," I admitted.

She looked up, her dark eyebrows raised slightly, and I could practically see her biting her tongue. "Oh, well…it's okay. I have Charlie's number."

I nodded. "Okay. I'm already behind in like…everything. I should study as much as I can," I said with a shrug. I heaved the book bag onto one shoulder, zipping up my coat.

"You should play the 'new student' card a little longer," Claire suggested as we walked outside. I shrugged, tucking my hair back out of my face as the wind blew at it.

"Yeah, I'm not sure how much longer they'll buy that crap," I admitted.

"True. Well…I'll call you Sunday. Do you have a ride?" she asked, looking around the parking lot. I looked up, searching for Sue's car, but didn't see it.

We stood on the sidewalk in front of the school, looking around until a large, tan guy walked up to us. I jumped when he seemed to appear out of nowhere. He was huge. I realized it was the same guy who had picked her up from school the week before; her brother, I guessed. Claire's face lit up when she saw him, and she instantly dropped her book bag on the ground and skipped over to him.

"Hey," she said softly, playfully punching him in the arm. He pretended to wince and laughed, mussing her perfectly coiffed hair. She made a disgusted hissing sound at him and moved away, her eyes meeting mine.

"Oh! Regan, this is Quil. Quil, Regan," she said quickly, dragging him over to me.

"Hi," I said absently, nodding at him. I was distracted as I looked for Sue's car; I was getting a little worried that I didn't see it anywhere.

I looked back over at Quil just in time to see his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Oh…you're Regan," he said softly, a spark of recognition igniting behind his brown eyes. I frowned, nodding.

"Yeah…how did you know about me?"

He looked scared for a moment, and Claire looked up at him as if she was asking the same thing.

"I uhm… I know Sue really well. I….go to the bakery a lot," he finally said. Claire grinned, nudging him again. He smiled warmly at me, and I nodded.

"Oh yeah…small town. Sorry," I said finally, giving him a tight smile. He returned it as he wrapped his arm around Claire's shoulders. Quil's eyes suddenly moved to the other side of the street, and I followed his gaze.

"I think your ride is here," he said with a laugh. I glanced across the street to see Seth pulling up in his aqua and white Bronco, the engine rumbling to a stop. I turned back around to Claire and rolled my eyes, already annoyed that the cop was coming to get me again. Great.

"Seth came to pick you up? Oooh!" Claire giggled, but Quil quickly removed his hand from her shoulder and clamped it over her mouth.

"Shut it," he chuckled, and she unsuccessfully tried to wriggle out of his grip. I turned around, seeing Seth striding across the street. I swallowed nervously as he crossed in front of a car, giving it a friendly wave as he made his way over to the sidewalk. He earned several appreciative stares from my classmates as he stopped in front of the three of us.

Why did they all have to look at him like that? I watched as a group of girls huddled by the side of the road waiting for their ride whispered and giggled at him. As one girl pointed, I felt a surge of jealousy and anger rise up in my stomach, making my eyebrows furrow.

Wait…why should I care?

"Hey," he said, flashing his white teeth at me. I felt my heart speed up a little, but I quickly tried to calm myself. Why did he always do that to me? Something about him made my stomach twist and my heart race; I didn't know why. I guiltily thought back to last weekend when I watched him cleaning up the backyard with Charlie from my window. He had peeled off his t-shirt despite the chilly night air, and I had to admit the guy had a body that would make a marble statue hang its head in shame. It had been hard not to stare. But why did I want to stare? The annoying, smiley cop was not my type, and I…I chided myself mentally for even considering him to be my type.

"Hey," I said back, trying to look uninterested. Claire gave me a questioning look, but said nothing.

"Off work man?" Quil asked. Seth shook his head.

"Yeah, I got off early. I'm pulling a double this weekend so they figured I needed it," he said with a shrug. He caught my eye and smiled, his brown eyes squinting slightly. One thing I quickly learned about Seth; he was always smiling.

"Cool. Poker Sunday?" Quil asked. Claire rolled her eyes, and I laughed at her reaction to her older brother. I wondered how much older he was – the seemed to have a really close relationship.

"Sure!" Seth agreed, jamming his hands in his pockets. He wore navy blue cargo pants, paired with a navy blue Forks Police Department t-shirt. His badge and radio hung off one pocket, and his hair was gelled and spiked, several pieces hanging down over his forehead. I shivered in the autumn air, wondering how he could run around with so little on and not look cold.

He turned to me, his brown eyes shining a little. "Hey um, Sue asked me to swing by and pick you up. She got hung up at the store for a bit. I can take you over there if you want," he said. He looked almost hopeful.

"Oh, um…I can walk. You don't have to take me," I offered, glancing in the direction of the Piggly Wiggly. God, just thinking that name made me cringe.

"It's not a problem!" he said eagerly. I heard Quil snicker, and I had forgotten that he was even there.

"Um…sure, I guess," I said with another shrug. The students that bustled around us on their way to cars or busses all turned their heads to stare as Quil and Seth stood on the sidewalk with us, towering above anyone. I watched one small freshman guy almost walk into the stop sign next to us as he gaped at Quil with his arm around Claire.

"It's cold out," he said with a smile. In one swift motion, he had quickly grabbed my heavy book bag that was sagging on my shoulders and had lifted it effortlessly onto his own. I felt my cheeks redden, but I tried to ignore it.

"Uh…thanks," I muttered. He nodded, a strand of his black hair falling over one of his brown eyes. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"See ya later," he said, nodding at Quil. Claire raised her hand and gave me a short wave; a smirk decorating her pretty features. Quil turned around, saw what she was doing, and slung his arm playfully around her neck to pretend to drag her away from us. I started to protest, but shut my mouth and began to follow him across the street.

"You don't have to carry that, it's heavy," I insisted, following him to the beat up Bronco. He shook his head and smiled that way that he did…I was starting to label those as a 'Signature Seth Smile' because he did them so often. His whole face lit up and his eyes seemed to sparkle with electricity that…I groaned to myself as I walked up next to the beat up vehicle. Was I really thinking about the lame cop's smile?

"Here," Seth said eagerly, whipping around to open the door for me.

"Oh, uh…thanks," I said awkwardly, climbing into the tall vehicle. He grinned yet again, loping over to his side and jumping in. He placed my book bag on the seat behind him, and turned the key. He pulled away from the curb, moving slowly to avoid all the kids in the street. The stares he had gotten on the sidewalk earlier didn't cease; he got looks everywhere he went.

"Did you have a nice day?" he asked as soon as we were moving. I looked over and thought I saw him cringe a little right after he asked me.

I laughed nervously, looking down at my hands. "Um, I guess so. School is school."

"Yeah, I hear ya," he said with a laugh. "Are you liking Forks any better though?" he asked hopefully.

I shrugged, not sure what to say. I knew that Seth obviously loved Forks; he had a job protecting it as a cop. For some reason, I really didn't want to insult him.

"It's alright," I admitted. "I guess," I added on.

He was silent for a moment, but it wasn't awkward. I looked out the truck windows at the scenery as it flashed by. All the leaves were a brilliant rainbow of colors as fall had settled comfortably over the tiny town. I inhaled a breath of air, happy to not have to deal with school for two whole days.

I suddenly frowned, looking down at the seat. For the first time, I realized that something in the beat up Bronco smelled really good. What on earth was that? It smelled like…sandalwood and spice, mixed with something that reminded me of really fresh air….and that was tinged with the appealing aroma of coffee. It was masculine, yet clean and fresh. I liked it. I really liked it. Glancing over to the side, I realized that it was Seth. How in the world could he smell that good? I admitted that he didn't look like he would smell bad or anything, but that good? I hadn't expected that at all. It was earthy but fresh, and very comforting somehow. Was I going crazy?

He saw me looking over at him and offered a shy smile as he turned into the parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly where Sue's car sat. Seth blinked, looking away and breaking our gaze. As he slowly maneuvered the Bronco around the parked cars, I caught myself studying his features. His skin was dark brown and smooth, a perfect mixture of time in the sun and his Native American background. His lips were soft looking, albeit slightly chapped from too much time outside I guessed. When he spoke or smiled, his eyes would automatically get smaller, the tips of his slightly long eyelashes brushing against his brow bone. He really was good looking, as much as I hated to admit it.

"We're here," he said softly, killing the engine. I nodded, and he opened his door to let the cool air into the cab.

I paused before opening the door, a little sad to have to leave the warmth of the truck where his appealing smell lingered. Who knew Seth would smell that good?

I was definitely going crazy.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	16. Chapter 16

Seth

When my mom had called me to tell me to go pick Regan up from school, she had been worried that it would inconvenience me. Inconvenience me? She thought it was too cold to have Regan walk all the way to Charlie's that day, as she couldn't get away from the store in time to pick her up. I would have gone to school and carried her home piggyback if it would have meant that Regan didn't have to walk home from school. I couldn't have been happier.

We walked into the Piggly Wiggly together, her back pack still slung over my shoulder. She had insisted the she could carry it, but I wasn't about to let her. I was just thrilled that I got to pick her up from school. Even though I had imprinted on her, it was still a bit surreal after all these years spent frozen in time, waiting. Driving Regan around in my truck was the best feeling ever; it made her more real to me somehow. Hell, I was just thrilled to be doing something together, even if it was a five minute ride to the grocery store. Being in the cab with her scent was possibly the most intoxicating thing ever.

But what now?

I still took Jake and Quil's advice about imprinting on a teenager seriously. I was careful to keep my distance from her, not that it mattered; I really just wanted to protect her and make sure she was safe. One of the things Quil said was that he believed he was meant to be in Claire's life for a reason, and I took that advice seriously. But, more than anything, I just wanted to be her friend. Here was this girl that was suddenly the center of my universe, thanks to an ancient form of Quileute magic, and I couldn't even explain it. I didn't need to. I just wanted to know her and be around her; and why wouldn't I? Regan was unlike any girl I had ever been around – ever. She was smart, sassy yet caring, and she never said or did what I thought she was going to do. How would I not want to be around her?

We walked into the store, and every eye immediately was drawn to us. I felt like a too tall, scraggly rag muffin next to Regan. Maybe it was just me, but she just had this energy about her that made people want to look at her; or maybe I was just being an imprinted sap again. My nose led me, and then I led Regan back to the back of the small grocery store where the bakery was.

"Hey you guys," my mom greeted us. Her eyes darted between us in true Sue-momish fashion before she went back to cleaning up for the day. Pulling the trays out of the display cases, she wiped them down and stored them away for the next morning. "You hungry? I feel like cooking tonight, but I don't know what. Ideas?" She looked at both of us expectantly.

"Doesn't matter to me," Regan said with a quiet shrug. She looked over at me, and I felt my heart start to pound.

"Uhm…. " I stuttered, feeling my mouth drop open a little. Regan gave me a look that clearly told me I was being weird, and I had to look away.

"How about tacos?" I heard my mom say finally. "Can you guys grab all the stuff while I close up the bakery?"

Regan nodded, and I felt my own head shake like I was a bobble head doll.

"Is that okay?" my mom asked.

"Whatevers…fine," she mumbled, walking away.

"Seth?" she asked. She probably wanted to make sure I had remembered to breathe I was acting like such a moron.

"Huh?"

My mom gave me a 'stop acting like a jackass' look, and I followed my imprint into the rest of the store to grab the ingredients needed for tacos.

I followed her down the aisle with the Mexican food, trying to think of something to say to her.

"Do you like tacos?" I asked lamely, looking over at her hopefully. I knew how pathetic I sounded, but I couldn't help myself. Why did I also act like a lost puppy that was following her home from school?

"Um, they're alright. I can make a veggie salad, so….that's cool," she shrugged.

"Oh yeah, you don't eat meat," I remembered, storing that information away in my brain. She shook her head.

"Yeah, I never really have. My mom always told me it would stunt my growth, but I didn't care."

"You really don't eat any meat? Wow, that's…healthy of you," I laughed, trying to imagine a meal without at least something made of meat.

"Yeah, people in Phoenix are really health conscious. Not like here…" she trailed off. "I just didn't want to eat animals."

"That's cool. You like animals?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I used to volunteer at an animal shelter when I was in grade school. I really liked it."

"Oh, why did you stop?"

She paused as she picked up a box of taco shells, her expression strained. Her large green eyes darted over to look at me, and she bit her lip. Ah, something she doesn't want to tell me, I gathered.

Her discomfort was my own. "Well, so you like animals…that's cool," I said quickly. Would you mind having a best friend who can burst into a giant dog? Ithought with a smirk. Regan didn't miss my expression.

"What's wrong?"

I looked over at her, surprised that she caught my momentary lapse. "Oh nothing, nothing. We have lots of uh…wildlife here," I chuckled, picking up some taco sauce. She rolled her eyes and shuddered visibly as we made our way over to the vegetables.

"You can say that again," she muttered, shaking her head. Her long hair shook with it, sending waves of her cherry almond and vanilla scent my way. I pressed my lips together as I let it hit me, savoring the smell.

"What makes you say that?" I asked curiously. Had I missed some other animal that was lurking near Charlie's house? I quickly thought back in my head to all the nights I had spent under Regan's window since I imprinted on her. I didn't remember smelling anything as small as a squirrel stepping foot on that lawn since I had been rolling around in at night. I had made sure to mark the trees lining the woods just outside of the lawn to give any other animals that ventured to close a clear message – mine. I had only slept in my own bed once since that night at Brady's when we met.

"There's like…wolves that hang out near our house all the time. It's just creepy."

"Have you seen them?" I asked with wide eyes. I knew she would eventually find out what I was as my imprint; however, I wasn't too keen with the idea of scaring her this much so early on.

"No, but I hear them. Well, one. I hope. I really hope it's just one. But it howled once and…I don't think I've stopped having nightmares about it since." she said with a tiny laugh. She picked up a plastic bag and began picking out tomatoes.

"Do you not like wolves?"

She looked up, twisting the bag shut. "Not really. I mean…don't they attack people sometimes?"

I laughed. "No, they don't. Not here, anyway."

"Are the wolves here like…special wolves that don't eat people?"

I nodded, still chuckling. "Yeah, something like that."

We picked up the rest of the things for tacos and met my mom in the front of the store. As we paid, I flashed through all the information I had learned about my imprint that afternoon. She didn't eat meat, she liked animals, and she liked being healthy. I realized that I would probably sit and listen to a stream of facts about Regan all day if I was allowed to. I was already so obsessed with this girl that it was painfully dorky, yet I could have cared less.

I was on cloud nine because my imprint seemed to be opening up to me, but my hopes were clearly dashed when she opted to ride with Sue to Charlie's house instead of me. I took it in stride and followed them home in my Bronco. After all, I had nothing but time to win Regan over, and it was useless to panic now. I had imprinted on a much younger female, and I had to learn that patience was going to be my best friend. I just needed to sit back, relax, and watch Regan grow up and help her enjoy her young age the best she could, as Quil did with Claire. I wasn't against being friends with her one bit. I was nervous about exactly how to be friends with a sixteen year old girl, but…I would have to adjust. I made a pact to just enjoy tonight for what it was. However, I about lost it when my mom almost ran a stop sign at the end of her street. I gripped my steering wheel so hard I thought it was going to pop right off the dashboard.

Didn't she realized that she was driving with my imprint in her car?

I had a hard time not glaring at her as she loaded all the groceries into my arms.

"Do you want me to grab one of those? That's gotta be heavy," Regan offered.

I balked, looking at my mom. Shit. Even though I was a supernatural creature of sorts, we sometimes forgot about that around people. I probably should not draw any more attention to myself than I already did, standing at six feet, five inches.

I smiled over the abnormally large load of groceries at her. "Naw, its fine. Go ahead," I nodded.

Once inside, we began to unload and start chopping up the vegetables for the tacos while my mom cooked the meat.

"Do you like the meat cooked a certain way?" Sue asked her. Regan shook her head.

"I don't eat meat," she reminded her politely. "It doesn't matter, I can barely cook anyway," she added with a small smile.

"Oh, sorry about that. Slipped my mind. Today was so crazy at the store…"

I tuned out my mom's babbling about the happenings of the Piggly Wiggly as Regan chopped green peppers and I chopped tomatoes. The smell of taco meat hung in the air as we prepared dinner in Charlie's tiny kitchen.

I watched Regan chew her lip thoughtfully as she chopped, as if she was thinking deeply about something. Her dark chocolate colored, wavy hair hung down beside her face, almost blocking her expressive eyes from view while she chopped. I was in the middle of wondering what her thoughts were when I felt the knife I was using slice through the side of my finger. I jerked my head down at the smell of blood, trying unsuccessfully to hide it from her but she was too fast.

"Seth!" she said quickly. "You cut yourself!"

I saw my mom's head jerk up suddenly and meet my eyes, and she hurriedly grabbed a dishtowel. I tried to hide the quickly healing wound from sight, but when Regan reached down and grabbed my hand, I lost all logical thought. The top of my hand sizzled in the absolute best way as her fingers gripped the skin there, turning my hand over to look at it. I felt the welded cables in my chest tighten pleasantly as my imprint touched me, making a dopey grin break out on my face.

"Oh my God, it's bleeding so much!" she gasped.

"Yeah?" I asked. I felt drunk. Like I was in a haze. But happy. Like a happy, drunken haze.

"Oh my God…" I heard Regan say all the sudden.

I snapped out of it suddenly when I felt my mom rip my hand away from Regan to shove it under the running water in the sink.

"Seth, we'll have to wrap that up," Sue hissed calmly, holding my hand under the stream of water. I blinked a few times, looking over at a wide eyed Regan as she stood next to us.

"Your hand…" she said softly, staring at me. I stupidly looked down at my hand under the faucet, and winced when I realized why she was so shocked. My sliced finger had closed up, leaving only a pink, thin scar.

Shit.

"Uhm…." I stuttered, looking between my finger that was still under the faucet and Regan. My mom was quicker.

"The Native Indians have a genetic trait that makes them heal faster," she said quickly. Regan nodded slowly, not looking like she was sure if she bought that answer or not.

My imprint was smart, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide what I was for long. I would have to figure out a way to tell her something. But did I want her to know? Part of me wanted to come clean that very moment, but the other part of me was more cautious. She was still in a new place, living with a new family, going to a new school…my logical side told me that announcing I was really a giant dog that defended the town from vampires might be a bit much for her to handle. I decided to keep it quiet.

"Are you alright?" Regan asked as my mom wrapped a dishtowel around my already scarred hand. I knew she wanted to hide it; that was probably my best option.

"I'm fine," I answered, my heart swelling. I was tickled to death that she was concerned about me. Regan looked at my finger that was still wrapped up in the dishtowel.

"That was so gross," she said, wrinkling up her nose. She turned back to her chopping, and I swore I saw my mom trying to hide a smile.

Once dinner was ready, we sat down at the kitchen table for a huge Friday night meal with our plates loaded up with tacos. Well, Regan had a meat-free taco salad. She seemed to have forgotten about my cut up finger, and happily munched away at her food. I was happy to see that she looked less stressed; the look on her face when I picked her up from school had not been a particularly happy looking one.

"Slow day today?" Charlie grunted at me in between bites. I nodded, trying to remember to chew with my mouth closed.

"Yeah, just did some paperwork," I answered, shoveling more tacos into my mouth.

"Well, I'd rather it be slow than dangerous," Charlie replied. Ah, his trademark saying.

"True, true," shrugged.

"I thought you'd be out with the guys tonight," he said, looking up. "No big plans for the weekend?"

I shook my head, fighting the embarrassed blush that was forming in my cheeks. I felt like a loser.

"Nah, just pat-uh, watching some football." I caught myself before I said 'patrolling'. I silently hoped that Charlie never went into the woods around his house and saw the patterns I'd been running in the trampled leaves around the property.

"You're young, you should get out more. Meet a girl," he added.

Had the world fallen off of its axis? Was Charlie Swan really talking to me about women?

"…and maybe stop mooching dinner off your mother," my mom teased, standing up to refill her iced tea. My mouth dropped open in mock astonishment as she grinned at me behind Regan's back.

"What?" I asked. "You love me," I teased back.

"Just kidding…I love having you here," my mom relented, refilling my cup. I frowned, making sure to scowl at Charlie as he played innocent and ate his taco.

"He's always here," Regan muttered into her plate.

Touche, Regan. I smiled to myself as I tried to pretend to focus on my food.

We ate the rest of dinner in relative silence. My mom only had to kick me under the table once for staring at Regan this time. The whole time, my mind kept bouncing between two thoughts:

., and…

I am so lame.

After dinner, Charlie invited me to watch some TV with him, and since I didn't have any plans, I agreed. I might have also agreed so that I could have an excuse to sit in the same room as Regan, but I couldn't blame myself for that.

As I watched her pull out her algebra book and slam it down on the coffee table, I had an interesting debate with myself. First, I took note of my mother relaxing on the couch with her pile of wedding magazines that she was scouring for ideas for Leah's wedding. Then, I looked at Charlie as he attempted to suck the bottom out of a can of Vitamin R while lounging in his recliner. Some game he had managed to finally figure out how to TiVo played on the flat screen, and here it was, seven pm on a Friday night. Part of me felt horrible that Regan was stuck here, parked in front of the coffee table with a notebook full of Algebra.

Then, there was a different half.

I was slowly beginning to see what Quil meant. The protective wolf part of me was quite happy that she was here, safely where I could see her in Charlie's house, his gun belt hanging by the door. That made me feel like I was doing my job of keeping her safe and sound; in a house with two cops. Honestly, my mom could be kinda scary too so that was a plus. I was also happy that her two sidekicks I had seen her with at Brady's party weren't around. I had a feeling that if I looked up 'snotty' and 'skanky' in the dictionary, I'd know whose pictures I'd see there. To say the least, it didn't really bother me that they were nowhere to be seen this weekend.

"Do you have any big plans this weekend?" my mom asked her, looking up from a wedding magazine.

Regan put down her pencil and shook her head. "Um, not really. Claire said something about a study group on Sunday, I guess," she mumbled.

"Oh, that's good. Claire is such a nice girl, I'm glad you two are friends."

"Which Claire have you met?" Regan uttered under her breath. She hadn't meant for my mom to hear it, but my sensitive ears picked it up and before I could control myself, I laughed. Her bright green eyes quickly flicked up to meet mine, and she gave me a shocked look.

"Uh, funny commercial," I said quickly, turning my head back to the TV.

She nodded once but still looked distracted. I watched as she scowled at her math homework then let her eyes drift to the wall where the phone was. Was she waiting for someone to call? Who was it? If it was a guy, I'd kill him. Well, I'd at least give him the shakedown and the evil eye…

I was jolted back to reality when Charlie crumpled up his beer can. He began looking around with hopeful eyes to see if anyone was making their way to the kitchen.

"I gotcha, Charlie," I said quickly, jumping up. I went into the kitchen and leaned against the counter for a second to think.

For a few seconds, I was temporarily distracted by the thump thump thump of Regan's heartbeat in the next room. It was something I needed to hear, and I got anxious when I didn't hear it. It was like some people that sleep with a fan on; when you can hear it and feel it, you just sleep that much better.

Regan was incredible. Sure, she was hot and cold when it came to dealing with me, but I would take it. I was just happy I had found her. Now all I had to do was cross my fingers that I didn't suck as an imprinter and I could do my job. Would we ever have more of a relationship? I wasn't sure. I knew that was the plan with imprinting, but it wouldn't have surprised me to be the one exception. What if I was just mean to be her protector? Or friend? Or brother figure? I shuddered at the thought. I sighed and tried to picture her older, maybe twenty or twenty one – plenty old for me. Would she be the woman I spent the rest of my life with? Would my mom be her mother-in-law someday? I didn't have to have Edward's talent to be able to see that my mom had wondered the same thing about her.

I could picture her growing even more gorgeous than she was now, but for some reason…I couldn't picture her like that. I knew I shouldn't, but I was just curious. With a sigh of relief, I was happy to discover that my feelings for her were simply of friendship, as they should be. Well, one could probably add overprotective friend to the list. And even though things weren't going that great with Regan yet, I still had a feeling I haven't had in a long time: hope.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I stayed for another hour or two at my mom and Charlie's house, pretending to watch TV. My mom would cough every time I stared at Regan for too long, and eventually I had to leave. Regan and Charlie were going to think that Sue had developed a strange case of whooping cough if I didn't leave soon.

After driving my car home, I quickly phased and prepared for patrol. I had the night shift tonight, and I was patrolling with Embry which would be a piece of cake. Embry was very easy going and was a lot like me; nothing really bothered him, and we got along really well. However, he was a bit more of a man whore than I was, but I somewhat enjoyed

Oh great, am I gonna get an update on the Regan Chronicles tonight? Embry teased as my paws hit the ground. I grunted in response and began to make my way over to where he was.

No, I just…think about her sometimes…I defended myself with a chuckle.

Sure, sure…God, all you imprinters are the same. A bunch of lovesick puppies!

I'm not a lovesick puppy.

I forgot, you just met her, he said.

I yipped as I made my way into the clearing where he stood. I didn't say I wasn't lovesick, I just meant that I'm not a puppy, I added, mentally winking at him. I laughed when I heard him groan.

Whatever you do, just don't be like Paul. I've seen more of Rachel Black than I EVER wanted to, he chuckled.

Ulgh! I remembered. I felt my stomach churn when I thought about some of the things I had seen in Paul's head years ago. He had since retired; Paul's memories were still epic in proportion.

Naw man, I haven't patrolled with you since it happened. That's great. I thought you were gonna be like me - permanent bachelor.

I did too. You'll find her, Em. I know it.

I'm not worried. I'm not complaining about my life. I'm happy.

I thought I was too.

Really?

I nodded as I swished my tail. I could feel the question in his mind…was he really happy? Did he really enjoy his life as much as he thought he did? For the first time, I sensed the Embry wasn't quite sure

It's the best feeling ever Em. I feel….like everything up until this point is worth it. I added in a few thoughts for his benefit: patrolling around her house, hearing her heartbeat, seeing her smile…

I getcha. So…you don't mind that she's only sixteen?

I shook my head. Nope. I mean…it was weird at first. But as Jake pointed out – she won't be sixteen forever.

True. God, you're already as bad as Quil, he chuckled. Imprint whipped.

Just for that, I hope you imprint on a two year old. Get a dose of your own medicine, I laughed with another yip. He growled playfully at me and pawed the ground, and we took off on our shift.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

By the time I was done patrolling, it was nearly morning. We had scoured the territory, satisfied that nothing seemed out of place. Just the way I liked it.

I was trotting home when my nose burned slightly, letting me know that something else supernatural was up ahead.

Hmmm, you smell something interesting, do ya pup? I heard a voice laugh.

Yeah, but that smell is also laced with dirty dog, so I know not to panic, I teased back.

Jacob laughed and stopped running so that I could catch up to him. I slid to a halt where the two of them stood; we were across the river from the Cullens backyard, just seconds from home.

Renesmee smiled at me from Jacob's back who was in wolf form. I yipped at her and wagged my tail, and she slid off his back to come and give me a hug. I whined in delight as she scratched behind my ears, making my back leg want to move.

That tickles, I laughed, wishing she could hear me.

She knows how to do that just right, doesn't she? Jacob chuckled.

Renesmee gave me one last pat on the head before walking back to lean against Jake's torso.

She pressed her hand to Jacob's muzzle, sending him a message that I could hear.

Tell him I'm happy that he found her, she said with her gift.

I wagged my tail at her again and gave Renesmee my best wolfy grin.

We're really happy for you, Jake added. You deserve it man.

I nodded again in agreement. She's perfect. I can't wait for you to meet her man.

Renesmee watched our silent exchange, and then her eyes lit up with a question.

Is he sad he didn't imprint on something supernatural? She sent Jake.

I shook my head 'no'. True, I had imagined myself imprinting on a half breed like Renesmee for years; I could live forever and have someone else who understood what it was like to be different and unique, but…I was so blinded by happiness at the moment that I could barely even think straight. I belonged to Regan now, and that was all the mattered.

What a sap, Jacob teased, listening to my thoughts.

Well I know he's always loved vampires and half breeds, I thought maybe he'd want one of us, she laughed.

Jacob barked and did his best to grin at her, and Renesmee giggled.

Well either way, she sounds perfect from what I've heard from all the guys. You deserve it Seth, she said, looking over at me with a grin.

I wagged my tail again.

It's amazing to have an imprint, I agreed to Jake.

He nodded, his eyes flicking over to his mate who still leaned against his side. Suddenly, I felt like an intruder as his thoughts took an errant shift into something not so innocent.

Sorry, he mumbled, trying to stop.

I laughed. It's okay. I understand. Go enjoy each other. Meanwhile, my imprint is busy doing her algebra.

You'll get your turn.

We'll see. It's fine.

The thoughts that Jacob was having were quickly taking a turn for the worst, and I hoped they got home to each other…and soon.

Okay, okay, Jacob laughed. We're going home. He stood up, motioning for her to get back on his back. She jumped up, settling herself between his shoulder blades, and they were off.

I turned the opposite way and leaped across the river and into the Cullens' backyard. I phased back and made my way inside, in the buff, thankful that I lived in the middle of nowhere.

Once inside, I took my usual shower so that I didn't smell up Esme's beautiful house with my wolf stink too badly. I loved being a wolf, but it was always relaxing to take a hot shower after patrolling to wash off the grime and mud. While I was running the bar of soap over my tired muscles, I accidently brushed 'Little Seth' and jumped. As sad as it was, it was a little used area on my body these days. I hadn't been with a woman in months, and up until now that had really bothered me. Now…not so much. It was strange. I still had the slight urge to give myself release, but the overwhelming need to do so wasn't there.

Strange, I thought. Up until the point where I met Regan, 'Little Seth' and I had a pretty good relationship as a result of my not having a lot of women around for long. I was just too afraid to get more attached than a one night stand. As a result, my morning shower had always included some 'me' time. Oddly enough, it felt like that part of me had suddenly grown dormant. Was the already strange imprint magic trying to tell me something?

With a groan that echoed off the tile walls, I mentally added this as another topic to ask Quil about, to my own embarrassment. Was it normal to lose your sex drive when you imprinted on someone younger? I almost felt like I had – had Quil? He was really going to hate talking to me by the time this was all over.

I didn't have work that day, as I didn't usually work a lot of Saturdays, so I ended up sleeping a majority of it away. The weekends were always boring enough to catch up on sleep so that's what I did. I lounged on the white couches in the living room, munching on cold pizza and sucking down can after can of Bud Light while I played some video games and caught up on my TiVo. I couldn't really blame Regan for thinking I was lame…because I was.

When it was finally dark out, I stripped down in the foyer and laid my clothes outside on the front steps for me to grab later. I phased, glad that no one had shifted for the nightly patrols just yet. I was happy to have some peace and quiet.

I ran and ran; completing what we called the 'Old Loop' around La Push from times when there was a treaty and we were only allowed on our lands. The path we had used to circle the rez was still worn and quite visible, and I sometimes ran it to clear my head and reminisce about my first years as a wolf.

As I jogged the worn path, I let my mind wander to Regan yet again. I wondered things about her all the time and I yearned to know more about my imprint. However, these weren't really questions I could ask comfortably. Maybe I could drill my mom later for some answers…

What kind of restaurants did she like? What's her favorite color? What does she like to do? When was her birthday? What was her life like at home? What were her favorite flowers? Did she like to be outside? Would she like my house?

I shook my wolf head as I tried to clear my mind. I wasn't doing myself any good by obsessing about her. The best thing I could do was take my time, step back, and try to be her friend. That was really hard though when all I wanted to do was talk to her, about her, and patrol around her house. I needed to get a grip on myself. My chest began to pang in a strange way. It was like the welded steel cables that drew me to her were twisting, I began to panic. Was something wrong? Did she need me? Was she in pain?

With a grunt of defeat, I headed in the direction of Charlie's. I was tired of fighting the pull to her, and this was finally an excuse to go and see her.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	17. Chapter 17

Seth

I slid to a halt at the tree line where Charlie's backyard met the dense Washington forest. I had to be careful without the cover of the thick greenery as it was only minutes after sundown, and risk her seeing me. I crept through the yard, careful to stay out of sight of Regan's bedroom windows. I didn't want her to see me in wolf form and panic again, but the pull to her was undeniable. The way my chest tightened and twisted made me think that something was wrong, and I needed to double check.

Once I was in my spot under her window, I lay down and perked up my sensitive ears to listen. She was on the phone with someone, and it wasn't going well.

"What are you talking about? You promised!"

There was a brief silence, and my ears strained. I couldn't hear who was on the other end of the line, much to my disappointment. I mentally crossed my fingers and hoped that it wasn't a boyfriend from back home or something. My heart lurched up into my throat at the thought, making it hard to breathe.

"But….what am I supposed to do? I…I can't believe you won't be here. You promised me…I've done my part in this, and yet I still feel like I'm being punished!"

My chest contracted painfully as my imprint's unhappiness increased.

"Mom, you know I wanted to see you this weekend. I miss you."

So it was her mother on the phone. My mom hadn't said much about Regan's family life or what that was like; I just had the assumption that she was here in Forks because it wasn't anything all that great.

"I can't believe this. I was really counting on you. I know…I know I've let you down in the past, but I was really looking forward to this. It's been so hard….you have no idea. I don't deserve this!"

There was another silence, and I moved my large ears around to try to hear more.

"Fine, okay? You know what? Just forget about it. Forget about the whole thing!"

Click.

I heard the line go dead, and then I heard Charlie's cordless phone sail across the room and into the plaster on her wall. I didn't care; I would replace it for them so that they wouldn't get upset with her for breaking the cordless phone.

The room above me was silent for a few moments, and then I heard it.

Sniff. Sniff…

Oh god, I thought. She's crying. My imprint is crying. Oh god….

I felt like I was going to suffocate. There she was, just right above me crying, and I couldn't do a thing about it. I might as well have been having my toenails ripped out. It was far worse than getting my ass kicked by a newborn vampire, worse than torture, worse than the pain I felt the first time I phased. Listening to Regan cry was the worse feeling in the world.

I felt like a magnet was pulling me as I made my way around to the front of the house. I spotted my mom in her armchair watching TV with Charlie. All logical thought escaped me as I let a piercing, anguished howl rip through the air. Charlie nearly jumped out of his skin, but my mom just gave me a disgusted glance.

Shit, I'm not supposed to howl near the house, it scares Regan. I officially suck at this, I thought bitterly.

The front door swung open, and I was met with my mom's scowl. She returned inside, moving quickly to get me a pair of sweats. When she returned, she tossed me the black cut off sweat pants and I caught them in my mouth. I whimpered before taking a deep breath and letting my body take over the wolf. I stood in front of her as I spat the sweats from my mouth to my hand, giving her a worried glance.

"What's wrong with Regan?" I whispered, slipping them on. I took the front steps in two leaps just as Charlie appeared in the open doorway.

I moved inside, followed by my mom. I tried to avoid Charlie's clearly curious gaze as my mom shut the door behind me.

"Seth?" he asked, his dark eyebrows rising.

"Hey Charlie," I said nervously, giving him a smile. He looked a little afraid of me at first, as if he expected me to burst back into wolf form in the middle of his tiny foyer. Nodding, he moved back into the living room after seeing that it was just me. I had to almost laugh to myself. Charlie was holding onto the 'need to know' motto with every last fiber of his being. I'm pretty sure he would have died of a heart attack of he knew even half of what was really going on in our little corner of Washington.

"Seth, I told you that you aren't to come around here and do that!" my mom hissed at me. She struck me across the chest without thinking and immediately recoiled.

"Damn it!" she grunted, pulling her hand back.

"Mom! What the heck did you do that for?" I asked, pulling her hand over to examine it. I rolled my eyes as I realized that she was fine.

"You can't hit me," I laughed, trying to keep my voice down.

She was still pretty upset with me. "Seth, you're going to scare that poor girl to death! Aren't you supposed to be doing the exact opposite?" she asked.

I sighed at my mom's guilt trip and turned my head to see Regan heading down the steps. My mom's head jerked up as did mine.

"R-Regan," she stuttered in surprise. My eyes met hers, and I felt the hairs on my arms stand up momentarily as her bright green eyes bore into mine.

"Sue," she gasped, thumping clumsily down the rest of the stairs. My mouth dropped open as Regan went straight into my mom's arms, hugging her tightly.

"Regan, Regan, whoa…what's wrong?" she asked nonchalantly, awkwardly embracing the teen girl's back.

"I…I was in my r-room and a w-wolf howled again and Sue, he was so close this time!" she gasped, still clutching my mom. Her eyes were wide with terror as she looked out the small window next to the door, scanning the lawn.

"There's nothing out there, Seth scared it away. They um…just maybe smelled Charlie's fishing gear. It was probably just hungry," my mom said, stroking her hair. Regan loosened her grip, the whites of her eyes still showing.

"Are you sure?" Regan asked, stepping away. She wiped a tear from her eye, obviously embarrassed that we had seen her crying. My heart went out to her as her eyes flicked back and forth between Sue and the windows.

"Yes, honey," Sue said, flipping on the porch light. "Besides," she hissed. "Wolves around here are pretty stupid, actually," she added for my benefit. I rolled my eyes and leaned on the banister. Regan looked over at me finally, a confused expression crossing her face. Then, I felt her eyes as they raked down my half naked body.

I stared at her, still a big mesmerized that she was even looking at me. Yeah, I was that lame.

"Why are you only wearing sweats?" she finally asked. I gaped at her a second, my mouth dropping open. What was it about this girl that made me look so stupid and tongue tied all the time?

"I was uh…running."

"Oh," she said, pulling away from Sue. "But…where are your shoes?" She asked, her tone challenging.

"He left them on the porch. They were muddy," my mom jumped in.

Regan nodded, still not looking like she bought our story. This girl would be hard to fib for very long.

"I'm going to…make some tea," she mumbled, shoving past me. As she moved, her arm brushed against mine, and I jumped slightly as my skin sizzled pleasantly. The jolt of energy seared up my arm and into my chest, warming my entire body. It was amazing.

Regan paused, looking over her shoulder at me. Time seemed to stand still for a second in Charlie's tiny foyer as her mouth fell open a little and she tried to say something.

"S-sorry," she finally said, darting into the kitchen.

Once she was in the kitchen, I looked at my mom, ignoring her dirty look. "What's wrong with her? Why was she up in her room crying?"

"You're worse than a mother hen, you know that?" Sue chided me. Glancing in the direction of the kitchen, her expression softened.

"Her mom called the house a few minutes ago. She was supposed to come and visit her for her birthday this week, but she cancelled. I don't know the details. I just know that she did."

"Her birthday is this week?" I gasped, my eyes widening. Sue shushed me, waving at me to shut up.

"Yes! And no gifts, Seth, I swear. That's crossing the line."

I opened my mouth to protest, but knew she was right. If I was going to win Regan's friendship, I would have to play it cool.

"Okay. No gifts. But when is her birthday?"

"Thursday, I'm taking her shopping in Port Angeles tomorrow to cheer her up. Her mom felt really bad about not coming for her birthday, and I know she was looking forward to it. That was practically the one thing she talked about this week."

My heart broke for Regan. I wanted more than anything to make my imprint have a happy birthday. She would only turn seventeen once, and it was my job to at least think of something nice to do for her.

Regan gave me a wary look as she walked back upstairs with a cup of steaming tea. When I heard the bedroom door slam, I cringed and gave my mom a pleading look.

"I'll go, but just make sure she's okay, please?"

My mom looked at me skeptically, but her tan features eventually softened. "You really care about her, don't you?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "Of course I do. Mom…I think I would care about her even if she wasn't my imprint."

"Seth…I know. But you have to remember…she's sixteen."

"She'll be seventeen," I added hopefully.

My mom gave me another stern glare. "Even if she is seventeen, the last thing that girl needs right now is you interfering with her day to day life. The best thing you can do is give her some space and let her get used to Forks while she grows up. Leslie…thinks it would be best for her to finish out her Junior and Senior year here. Phoenix isn't the place for her – too much trouble to get into. Just…give her some space, hon."

"I understand. But really mom, you don't have to worry. Ask Jake and Quil…it's really not like that at all. I mean…I really don't see her that way, I promise. I don't know that I ever will."

With that, I kissed my mom on the cheek and turned to leave. Once back in the yard, I phased again and tucked the sweat pants into the bushes for another emergency. I would never know when I would need them again.

Like the pathetic guard dog that I was, I curled up under her window for the second time that night and made sure she was okay. My mom was right, I was worse than a mother hen.

Regan sipped her tea and fumbled around in her room for a few minutes before I heard her flop on her bed and start listening to some angry sounding music on her ipod. I didn't hear her drift off to sleep until a long time after that.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When I woke up again, it was just before dawn. I looked up woefully at Regan's window, pricking my ears up and listening. The steady breaths and even heartbeat signaled that she was still asleep. I had thought long and hard about her birthday while I waited for her to go to sleep, but I couldn't decide how to get around my mother's rule about no presents. How could she expect me to not get Regan a present for her seventeenth birthday?

Brady had been patrolling with Embry all night, and they had been easy enough to ignore while I guarded Regan's house from imaginary foes. It had been somewhat entertaining to watch them patrol through our mind link while I sat. Embry was fine, as he usually was. He had a level head and an even temper, and I generally got along with him fairly well. He owned an auto parts store in Forks with Quil, and they were the only ones in town so business was good. He pulled an amazing amount of tail with his charming personality and boyish face, so that was never an issue. Patrolling with Embry was like patrolling with a walking how-to-sex manual, but he was never crass about it like Paul or Brady. When Brady had ventured too close to Charlie's house, I had quickly re-played a few of what referred to as 'highlights' from our fight the week before. He put on a stiff upper lip about the whole thing, but I didn't miss how his tail automatically went between his legs.

That's right, I had thought at him. I had gone back to thinking about how beautiful my imprint was, just to piss him off.

But now what was I going to do for her birthday? I knew that my mother would be no match for any newborn vampire if I broke her rules about no presents, but I couldn't simply ignore it.

Are you already worrying about that? I heard Quil's voice enter my head. Quil was not as easy to block out as those two had been.

Yes, now leave me alone.

Why so grumpy?

I'm not. I….okay, I am. I didn't get much sleep. Regan had a bad night.

What's wrong?

Her mom isn't coming for her birthday this weekend.

Her birthday is this weekend? I could sense the surprise in his tone. He was also slightly envious that my imprint was turning a year older already.

Yeah. She's only seventeen Quil, she's not that much older than Claire.

I know, I know. Claire's birthday is right there with Christmas, so that means I get to spoil her twice as bad…

I wish I could say the same. I briefly replayed Sue forbidding me to buy Regan any presents.

That sucks. Why not?

I think my mom thinks I'm a big enough creep around the girl as it is. I don't need a birthday to weird her out any more than I already do.

Good point.

Thanks asshole.

I'm kidding!

I know…you're just lucky you can buy Claire presents.

Yeah, her parents are cool. They know I'm not a creep.

Hey, no fair!

Sorry, sorry. Just kidding…sorta. Anyway, I have an idea for you.

And what's that?

Well..what if a present just appeared?

What do you mean? I asked.

What if you got her something that wasn't from you, but certainly wasn't not from you, you know? He suggested.

Just not put my name on it?

Yeah.

That could work…

That way Sue wouldn't know for sure whether or not it was from you or not.

Don't underestimate my mother. She's up there on the same craftiness level as Alice Cullen.

Touché, he snorted.

But that's a good idea, and awfully tempting.

Seventeen… he thought. That's almost eighteen.

What are you getting at?

I watched as Quil's mind wondered what we would be doing in a year, when Regan turned eighteen. He wondered the same thing I did; would something magically shift? Would my romantic or sexual feelings for her suddenly turn on like a light switch one day? When would it happen? Would it happen for him too?

I realized that Quil had some of the same fears I did. What if Claire didn't pick him? What if they were only meant to be like brother and sister? Would he survive, or would be crushed with disappointment to only be her friend?

It'll work out, he said softly in our minds as he felt my own fear. It just has to.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When I got home, I realized that it was Sunday, and so I naturally had no plans. I made it home by dawn and took my usual shower, but I wasn't tired. Once I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, I glanced outside the glass windows as I sipped some coffee. I winced when I realized what a mess the yard was. Esme was one of the sweetest, most docile creatures I had ever met, but I knew that if she ever saw her yard like that she would have my throat.

Heaving a sigh, I headed out into the crisp fall morning and set out to do some yard work. I looked up at the rarely sunny sky and smiled to myself, happy for a bright day. Regan would be shopping in Port Angeles with my mom all day, so I hoped that the weather held out for them. More than anything, I wanted Regan to be happy here. If things ever worked out with us in the future, this is where I would have to live for at least a few more years while I was still phasing. I would love to travel, but I honestly couldn't imagine living anywhere else besides Forks or La Push. I wanted her to feel like this was her home too.

I spent most of the cool October afternoon mowing the grass and picking up leaves, trying to make the lawn resemble some aspect of how Esme would have liked it. I got out the weed whacker and edged the lawn and made sure to trim the hedges that lined the yard. It looked better than it did when I first started, that was for sure.

Around two or three, I ambled inside to take a break and get some food. With a groan, I slammed the refrigerator door shut at my lack of groceries. Simple tasks like grocery shopping and taking my clothes to the dry cleaner just seemed trivial, and I often forgot to do them. I was just about to put a frozen pizza in the oven when I heard car tires hit the start of the long Cullen driveway.

I smiled to myself as I listened to the familiar engine as it ran down the curvy lane and stop in front of my house.

"Hey, Mom," I grinned, opening the door. She gave me a pointed look and handed me a to-go box.

"Food?" she offered as I grabbed it. "We went out to eat in Port Angeles and I got you some linguine with butter sauce like you like. Here."

"We?" I asked. She stepped inside, leaving a gaping Regan on the front steps.

"Oh…hi," I said happily, pulling the door open wider. Regan's green eyes were wide as she stepped inside.

"You live here?" she asked in amazement, ignoring my greeting. She walked inside, setting her bag down by the door as she took in the impressive Cullen house with wide eyes.

I chuckled. I was quite used to that reaction to my living quarters. "Um, yeah," I admitted. We walked up the steps into the kitchen and I beamed when I realized Regan was still amazed with the house.

"You like it?" my mom asked, walking into the kitchen. We followed her in and I sat down at the counter, ready to dig into my lunch.

"It's…wow…" Regan said, walking over to the back windows. The entire back of the house was a wall of glass that had an exquisite view of the long, rectangular-shaped backyard. It sloped downwards softly and human eyes could just barely see the creek that rested at the edge of the property.

I ate a few bites of the fancy pasta as I watched Regan walk into the living room to look around.

"Have you been working in the yard? It looks nice Seth, Esme would be proud."

Regan poked her head back in. "Who's Esme?" she asked. Her cheeks instantly started to turn pink as if she was embarrassed that she had even asked.

"Oh, she and husband, Carlisle, are the ones who own and designed this house. I'd love to take credit for owning it but…I'm just a house sitter," I admitted sheepishly. Regan's eyes met mine, and I sucked in a quiet breath as I listened to her heart speed up. Did she think that Esme was my girlfriend?

"Oh," she said. "Well…it's really pretty."

"Yeah," I nodded. "They moved but didn't want to sell it. They thought I could stay here and do the up keep while they were gone."

"Are they moving back or something?" Regan asked. I saw my mom give me a panicky look out of the corner of my eye, and I grinned.

"You never know," I answered, taking another bite of my food. Regan nodded, walking off to explore.

"So, how'd it go today?" I whispered. My mom shrugged, leaning on the counter.

"Fine, I suppose. We shopped all day…I tried to get her to pick something out so that I could buy it for her but she wouldn't. She refused…I've never seen a teenage girl refuse presents so much since Leah. "

I laughed. "Yeah, she and Leah would get along. So she wouldn't let you buy her anything?"

"No," my mom said sadly. "I really just wanted her to have a nice birthday, what with her being in a new place and all. We went out to lunch too, and she almost refused that. I told her it was for her birthday….but she wanted nothing to do with it."

"I'm sorry, Ma," I whispered, my heart falling. This wasn't shaping up to be a very nice birthday for my imprint.

"It's okay. I just wanted her to feel welcomed. She's so quiet and reserved around the house that I really don't know what to do anymore."

"Maybe she's just a private person," I offered. My mom just shrugged.

Regan eventually wandered back in, her expressive eyes darting around the room to take it all in.

"Esme is pretty good with aesthetics," I laughed, tossing the empty carton of Italian into the garbage. Regan nodded, standing in front of the glass windows again to look at the view of the backyard. Even I had to admit, it looked pretty good thanks to my handiwork today.

"The colors are so pretty here," she finally said quietly.

"Yeah, we get a pretty good show out here with the leaves. Every day they're a different color," I said, walking up to stand beside her. I was careful not to stand too close, but I just wanted to be near her. I could feel my mom's eyes on the back of my head as I watched Regan look out at the colorful trees in the backyard.

"It's gorgeous. How much longer will they be like this? We don't have things like this at home," she said.

"About another week or two. It's almost November, and they're always down by then."

"Wow," she mused. "They're really pretty this deep in the woods. The trees by Charlie's house aren't this pretty."

"I know of a really pretty lookout down by the ocean where they're really cool. Do you want to go hiking next weekend to see them?" I blurted out. If she wanted to see pretty fall colors, then I was determined to show her some.

She looked over at me, and I felt my heart falter as her eyes met mine. "Hiking?" she asked. I nodded like a fool and she pressed her lips together.

I waited like a panting dog to hear her answer.

"I don't think so," she answered, looking back out at the colors.

"Oh…" I stuttered. She shot me down! "Well, that's okay. Some other time," I offered.

She shook her head. "I don't like the woods. They scare me," she admitted. I heard my mom cough somewhere behind me, and I tried not to pay attention.

I felt like a fool. Of course she hated the woods – what she thought were killer, hungry wolves lurked in the woods. Why the hell would she want to go hiking with me?

You're an idiot, Seth Clearwater! My mind screamed at me. My mom's expression as they left pretty much echoed that same thought.

After getting shot down by my imprint and a full day of yard work, I collapsed on the couch in a grouchy ball and flipped on the TV. So far, I had to admit that I pretty much sucked as an imprint.

My phone buzzed a few hours later, and I actually smiled when I picked it up. "What do you want?" I laughed.

"Oh, nothing. Just heard you got shot down by your imprint today, is all."

I groaned into the phone. "God, how does bad news manage to travel so freaking fast?"

Leah laughed. "That's the way it is, little brother."

"Did you just laugh? Does that mean my sister actually knows how to smile?" I playfully shot back at her. She snorted into the phone, giggling.

"Yes, I do. I'm happy now Seth, remember?" she sang.

"Yeah yeah, you're in love, congratu-fucking-lations," I muttered, absently brushing off the coffee table in front of me. "So when's the wedding? Did Mom say summer?"

"Yes, Seth. Where have you been? That's all Mom can talk about."

"I've been um…busy," I admitted.

"My point exactly. You imprinted almost three weeks ago and you haven't even called me once!"

I chuckled. "I'm sorry, but having an imprint is tough work. I feel like I haven't had time for anything anymore," I admitted happily.

"You don't sound too upset."

"I'm not. I mean…she hates me, but…Leah…Oh gosh, she's just…she's amazing."

Lean groaned again. "God, you did imprint. You all turn into lovesick puppies…"

"I'm not lovesick! She's sixteen, and I'm not lovesick. I just like her, is all."

"Mom told me about her future daughter-in-law…Charlie thinks she's a pistol."

"Charlie would. Is that what Mom really said?"

"She said the night you met her and took her home or whatever, she cried."

I laughed. "Yeah, she did a little. I dunno Leah, it's too soon to tell. I mean…I told Jake and Quil, I don't see her like that."

"You will."

"Says the girl that never imprinted."

"I've been around long enough to realize that everything happens for a reason. Now, if anyone is telling you that, wouldn't you believe me at least? After everything? Trust me, baby brother," she laughed.

I smiled. It felt so good to hear Leah laughing again. "Yeah well…She's turning seventeen this week, and Mom already told me no presents."

"I agree."

"That's going to suck."

"Oh, it's just one year. I bet next year for her birthday you can give her a different kind of present…" she said suggestively.

"Ew, Leah…no."

"Call me in a year and we'll talk."

"Sure, right," I laughed back.

"But really Seth – hang in there. Things will work out for you….I just know it."

I really hoped my sister was right.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	18. Chapter 18

Regan

The car ride home from Seth's house was mostly silent as we rolled down the highway towards Forks. Today had been tiring. Sue had tried to make up for my mom not coming to visit by trying to buy me something, much to my chagrin. We had gone from store to store to store, Sue picking up items and asking me, 'Do you like this?' or 'Isn't this pretty?'?

I had tried my best to politely decline her offers. I knew she and Charlie lived comfortably, albeit stingily. I wasn't sure how much they made as a small town cop and a bakery attendant, but I was guessing it wasn't much by the looks of his rusted cruiser and the outdated kitchen. I knew that I was an added expense to things, so I didn't want to push them. I also knew that having Sue buy me a scarf or a photo album wouldn't make me feel any better. Sue wasn't my mom. Didn't anyone understand? All I wanted was for my mom and me to have time together. Back home, she worked all the time and was never home which was part of the reason I acted out. It was stupid to do the risky, dangerous things that I did – I know that now. But I didn't know how else to get her to notice me and stay home. I had been complacent with her busy work schedule as a child; the endless array of latch key programs and bad after school babysitters had barely bothered me. However, as I became older and started to become a woman, I found that I craved being near her, just hoping to learn specifically what it meant to grow up. In the mornings, I would watch her to do her hair and makeup in the chic, stylish way she did, only to clumsily try to copy her when she was gone for work. I had had to figure everything out on my own, and I was angry that she hadn't been there to teach me these things.

When she told me that she wasn't coming, it was like someone had re-lit the fire in me that had made me do all the stupid things I did back in Phoenix. I wanted to scream, cry, and break something all at once when she broke the news to me. She didn't even sound that sorry. I shouldn't have known that she wouldn't have wanted to take time away from phoenix to come and visit me – no, her life there was far too precious.

"Sorry about that pit stop. I knew Seth would be hungry though, and it was on the way," Sue offered, dragging me out of my reverie. The green forest flashed by on the road back to Forks, welcoming us back to the boondocks.

I shrugged as I stared out the window. "It's okay," I said.

I could hear her swallow nervously in the quiet car. Why was she so nervous around me all the time? I felt bad about refusing to let her buy me a gift, but this was ridiculous.

She cleared her throat, and I knew she was about to say something uncomfortable. "Regan…you know, your mom didn't go into much detail, but she did tell us about what happened in Phoenix. She…she did say what…what happened," Sue replied nervously.

My heart leaped up into my throat, daring me to try to talk about it. Hot tears of humiliation sprang to my eyes, and I felt stupid. Of course my mom would have told her; I should have realized that. However, hearing Sue bring it up only made the embarrassment that much more real. My eyes were wide as I turned to look at her, tears shining in my eyes. I silently cursed myself for letting Sue see me cry but discovering that she really knew what had happened there upset me to no end.

"You know?" I asked, my voice just above a whisper. She turned back to the road, nodding.

"Yes, baby, I know," she said. It wasn't condescending or harsh. I gaped at her.

I realized in that moment that Sue Clearwater really did care about me but not in the way my mom cared about me. I had a feeling that Sue really gave a shit whether or not I was okay - all my mom cared about was sweeping it under the rug and making sure the neighbors didn't know.

I blinked back tears, unsure of what to say.

"Have you talked about it with anyone?"

I paused, pressing my lips together. "It's not exactly a conversation starter," I said simply. As I stared out the window into the dark fall night, memories came flooding back to me; memories of people, places, things, and events - all things I wanted to forget.

"You don't have to talk about it with me," she said quickly. "But Charlie…knows…a lot of programs and people that would be able to help you, give you someone to talk to; a support group if you didn't want to talk about it with us. You don't have to."

I nodded, and she turned to watch my face again as the car moved along.

"It's free so don't worry about that. And everything is done in Port Angeles."

"Sue…"

"I just didn't want you to think that you had to suffer in silence about all of this."

I could tell she had already read a pamphlet about how to talk to a rape victim - it made me cringe.

"No, Sue…I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it."

Sue earned a lot of respect from me that night. After I said that, she let it go. Not another word was spoken about the topic. She had respected my request.

She didn't say anything else the rest of the way home. By the time her car pulled into the somewhat familiar driveway of the house, I was glad to be able to get away from people and just rest. I had a lot to think about.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I didn't come down from my room until an hour later. My stomach growled in protest, as lunch had been hours ago. I padded downstairs, glaring out the windows. It was only six o clock, but it was already dark and dismal looking outside, as usual.

I had curled up on the couch with my iPod, watching Sue as she fumbled around in the kitchen. I think she was baking something…actually, I rather hoped she was. As much as I mocked The Piggly Wiggly grocery store, they did know how to hire a decent cook. Anything she made was delicious, and I groaned as I thought about all the weight I was going to gain living here.

"Phone!" she called for me.

It was Claire telling me to be ready in five minutes. "Uh, okay," I mumbled, hanging up. She didn't bother with the word 'bye'; instead she slammed the phone down and appeared in Charlie's driveway in five minutes, just as she had promised. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, grabbing my coat. Sue rushed up, handing me a tray of brownies that were drizzled with white and dark chocolate.

"For the study party," she said, practically shoving them into my hands. She smiled, and I did my best to return the gesture.

"Uh, thanks, Sue." I said as she opened the door for me. Claire honked the horn on her little car, motioning for me to hurry up.

"Ooh, Sue made brownies!" she gasped, eyeing the platter in my hands. She pulled out of the driveway and into the already dark night. I was thankful that her little car was already so warm; I felt like I had been cold for days now.

"Yeah, she's always baking."

"So is my mom. Ulgh, I have to fight myself not to eat it or I'd weigh a ton. More for Quil I guess, he never gets fat," she said with a shrug as her car puttered through the streets of Forks.

"Yeah, he could probably eat an entire Thanksgiving dinner by himself. Your brother is huge!" I said, watching the scenery flash by.

Claire frowned, looking over at me. "Quil's not my brother," she snorted.

I looked over, surprised. "Wait, he's not? But…"

"No, not my brother," she laughed again. "What made you think that?"

"Well…he's always around and he's older…right?"

She laughed. "Um, no. He's just my babysitter."

I gaped at her. Was she joking? "Babysitter?" I asked skeptically.

Claire giggled again, turning into a driveway. "Well, he used to be. Now he's just like…I dunno, my friend? He's kinda like a big brother."

"Oh," I mused, unbuckling my seatbelt. I thought for a moment. Quil was….well, rather good looking. Okay, he was actually very good looking. Not as much as Seth, but….there must be something in the water up here, I thought. "But isn't that ever weird?"

She got out, pausing. "Um…no, not really. I mean…he's just always kinda been around. My parents love him because he never lets me do anything fun…"

"Still, isn't it weird to have like…a hot guy hanging around all the time?" I asked, fumbling with the word 'hot'. I wasn't sure if she would take offense to that or not, but I had to know.

"It's not weird, I mean…he hung out with me when I was in diapers. He put me on the school but the first day of kindergarten. He's just always been around, so…no, it's not weird." Claire slammed the door to the car shut, chuckling. "Besides Regan, speak for yourself. Have you seen Seth Clearwater lately?"

I recoiled, picking up the brownies and closing the car door. "No, he's like…old," I said, making a face. "How old is he?"

Claire opened the front door to the house, pausing. "You know…I don't know. I know he's a few years younger than Quil," she said.

I paused, thinking about it. If it was alright for Quil to hang around Claire and he was a few years older than Seth….that made Seth perfectly normal, right? I already knew the answer to that – no. He was much older than I was, and as strange as it was to admit it…I didn't like that. I wanted it to be okay for us to be friends. But if Quil and Claire could be friends like she said, then it would be okay for me to be friends with Seth…right?

I didn't have much more time to contemplate it. We went to the study group and were busy with that for a few hours. Needless to say, I pretty much had to pay attention because I was already so far behind with British Lit, and I couldn't afford to flunk another one of our teacher's famous Monday morning quizzes.

The kids were nice enough. Were teenagers ever mean to someone who brought food around? Hardly. Besides, Claire's friends were all rather pleasant people – it was like it was their job or something. I decided that she wasn't really in the 'popular' group. She was just in the group where it was cool to smile at teachers, get good grades, and wear ironed clothes every day to school. As silly as Courtney's insult of being a 'square' had sounded…she had been right. It was like Claire was allergic to trouble or breaking the rules.

As much as I didn't want to like Claire for what she stood for, I found myself actually liking her. I was hesitant at first because well frankly, I had never had a friend that looked like she belonged in a Clearasil commercial before. Claire was always smiling, always happy, and talking about everything and everyone. Sure, she said the most inappropriate things at the strangest times, but…that was just Claire.

She explained why she did that after the study group in the car.

"Claire…" I sighed, balancing the empty brownie platter on my lap, "I know Justin's mom is…how she is, but…did you really have to say that his mom was dressed like a tart at parent teacher conferences? I thought his face was gonna get so red, it would explode!" I laughed.

She pulled out of the driveway, giving me a knowing look. "Sorry, but she was! Ulgh, don't tell Quil I said that."

"I won't," I laughed. "Why does it matter?"

"Oh…he and the guys have this thing that what I say is like…word vomit."

"Word vomit?"

She laughed, nodding. "Yeah. It's from some old movie that they all watch all the time cuz of the hot girls in it or something, and apparently this one girl says things that she…shouldn't and calls it word vomit."

"You have word vomit," I said quickly, buckling my seatbelt.

She giggled as she pulled out into the street. "Right?"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

That week at school dragged on. I still sat with Courtney and Kenz at lunch, as much as I hated their incessant chatter about the dumbest things. Looking over at Claire and her friends, I just wasn't ready to make the 'social jump' required here. I had a feeling that my ditching these two wouldn't go unnoticed.

When Thursday finally came, I sat up with a groan. My birthday.

I was officially seventeen today, and I was NOT looking forward to it. Today being my birthday just reminded me all day that I had been ditched by my own mother who couldn't even bother to show up to visit me. This was not going to be a big day.

I went downstairs, cringing as I realized there were several balloons tied to my breakfast chair, and a two shiny packages sitting on the table where I ate.

"Happy Birthday!" Sue and Charlie chorused; Sue much louder than Charlie. He gave me a 'Sorry kid' look, and Sue gave me an awkward hug.

"Happy Birthday, Regan!" she said. "I'm making you dinner tonight…vegetarian style. Anything you want," she added.

I rubbed my eyes and tried not to look absolutely horrified. "Uh, that'll be great, Sue," I said, sitting down. She joined me and Charlie at the table after pouring us each a cup of coffee.

I gingerly sipped my coffee, eying the packages on the table next to me. Sue cleared her throat, giving Charlie a pointed look.

"Presents were never Bella's thing either….guess the tradition lives on," he said with mock annoyance, looking up at Sue. She made a hissing sound in the back of her throat as he sipped his coffee with a mischievous glint in his brown eyes. I always knew I liked Charlie.

She shoved the presents towards me, and I rolled my eyes and tried to do my best to not look annoyed as I opened them. From the big box I pulled out a black North Face jacket that looked really warm; it also had a grey knit hat and some pretty white North Face mittens.

"You'll need those this winter. Bells hated the cold too, and I got her one of those her first winter here too," Charlie said matter of factly. I smiled at him, trying to look sincere. It was painfully obvious that he still missed his daughter. She was a person that I was secretly intrigued with, and I was looking forward to meeting her at Christmas. I could tell that Charlie was happy with his life and with Sue; however, I didn't miss the look on his face when he talked about his only daughter.

"Thank you," I said, feeling the soft hat. I actually could use these, and I was grateful for them. Sue nudged the next box towards me, smiling. "This one is from Bells and the Cullens. I uh…know they haven't met you, but they wanted to get you something nice to welcome you here," Charlie muttered, his brown eyes looking away. I looked at him in disbelief. They got me a present? I had only met Alice!

"Oh gosh…um…that's really awesome of them," I said, shaking my head. I opened the present and found in it a pair of warm looking, tall, black Ugg boots. As much as I had hated the look of wearing the boots in warm weather like Phoenix, I had to admit that up here, they looked pretty appealing. I had walked around already with cold feet more than once.

"These are like…really expensive boots," I said, taking them out. The soft suede under my fingers was a reminder that boots like this were not cheap, especially from people I didn't know.

"They're uh…living pretty comfy up there," Charlie said. "Bells will be happy to know you like 'em," he said, turning back to his breakfast.

I thanked them both, actually happy that Sue went against my wishes and got me something – she had at least known enough to get me something useful. I had no need for clothes like that in Phoenix and as a result, I was terribly unprepared as the days grew colder and colder. It was the end of October now, and it was done being warm. I had yet to see snow, but I had definitely seen ice.

When I arrived at school, I prayed that no one knew it was my birthday. Kids back home used to ignore most birthdays, and I could only hope that they did the same thing here.

"Oh, are you kidding me?" I gasped when I saw my locker. It was covered in shiny wrapping paper with streamers taped on top of that and pasted at face level was a sign with 'Happy Birthday Regan!' sprawled across it in pink lettering.

"Oh…my…god…" I heard a voice say. Turning around, I saw Kenz and Courtney glaring at my locker as if it contained the black plague.

"Did you do this?" I asked in an accusatory tone. Both girls recoiled, absolutely appalled.

"Um…no," Kenz snapped, rolling her eyes at me. They both gave me 'how dare you' looks as they stared in horror at my locker. From the place at her locker, I heard Claire snicker. I looked over at her and gaped with my mouth open as she practically skipped away.

"Ulgh, she would do something like that. Lame." Courtney sniffed.

"Yeah, what a loser. I'd take that atrocity down ASAP," Kenz echoed.

I looked at the dippy decorations all over my locker, and then at the back of Claire's head as she flounced down the hallway. Part of me was super embarrassed but…part of me didn't want to take them down. The fact that she had remembered that today was my birthday and had done this for me spoke volumes.

I floated through the day, trying to avoid as much attention as possible which was quite difficult because all of my teachers wished me a 'Happy Birthday' at the start of each class. Being the new girl and having a birthday was apparently bound to get you tons of attention in Forks.

At lunch I could practically feel Claire's eyes on my back; I would have to thank her for my locker catastrophe during British Lit which we had together after lunch. I wanted to thank her but not in front of Courtney and Kenz. I knew bringing up Claire's name would only fuel their fire. They had made it clear more than once that they didn't appreciate Claire's goody goody attitude and ability to be liked by almost anyone.

"So what are we doing for your bday celebration this weekend?" Kenz asked me at lunch. She sipped her diet Coke and looked around the lunchroom with little interest.

"Um…"

"We should go to Jeremy's house and have a party!" Courtney squealed, sitting forward in her lunch chair.

"Who's Jeremy?"

"Just a guy who works at the gas station in town."

"Uh, okay," I said slowly. I briefly wondered why we were celebrating my birthday with this Jeremy guy.

"He's twenty-one; he can get us some booze," Kenz added.

"Oooh," I laughed, nodding. I didn't really want to drink again, and I certainly didn't want to spend time with these two outside of school…however…when I thought about how my own mom skipped out on my birthday, it made me want to go. It was my way of telling her 'screw you' without actually telling her. Maybe I'd think of her as I passed out. However, if I was passed out, I wouldn't be able to think of her. Bingo.

"Sounds great," I heard myself say. Both girls gave me approving grins and turned back to their lunchtime yakking and gossiping now that our weekend plans were in order. When I was sure they weren't looking, I glanced over at Claire as she laughed and talked with her friends.

I sat down next to her in class that afternoon, and she immediately started snickering.

"Something funny?" I asked, looking over at her. She giggled, leaning over her notebooks.

"You've just had this pissed look on your face all day. Sooo worth it," She chuckled, twirling a strand of her long, dark hair. I rolled my eyes and snorted.

"Yeah…thanks for my locker."

"Oh, you like it. I know you do," she said. I ignored her and silently hoped that no more mention of my birthday was made for the rest of the day.

Halfway through class, the door opened and a messenger from the main office came in.

"Regan," the teacher said, interrupting our silent reading. I looked up and cringed at what he held. The teacher motioned towards me, and the messenger set the short vase of bright pink roses down on my tiny desk. Every eye in the classroom was on me as I stared at them in shock.

Claire stared at the vase on my desk, almost as shocked as I was. I looked around, meeting the eyes of my baffled classmates. Who would send the new girl flowers like that? I could practically hear their questions.

"Well, who are they from?" Claire whispered urgently.

My hand trembled a little as I picked up the card and opened it.

'Happy 17th Birthday, Regan' was all it said and that was in the florist's handwriting.

"I don't know," I admitted, looking down at them. They were short stemmed and bright pink, and there had to be two dozen of them stuffed into the short bowl. They were beautiful, but who on earth would send me these?

After school, I walked out front with Claire to wait for our rides. "So, any big birthday plans this weekend?" she asked; the dead leaves crunch under our feet as we walked down the sidewalk to wait by the parking lot.

I instantly remembered Kenz and Courtney's plans to take me out and get me wasted. I didn't want to go but then again…I kind of did.

"Not really," I said not expecting her to say what she was about to say.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could get some people together and maybe go ice skating? There's a place in Port Angeles and after that we could get pizza or something. Or maybe ice cream," she suggested.

I looked away, feeling immediately guilty. "Um, well I think Sue has stuff planned for me. Thanks anyway though," I said, carefully gripping the vase of flowers.

"Oh…well...okay. That's alright," she shrugged. She spotted Quil's truck and gave me a wave. "Well, if you get bored, call me!" she said before running to his truck. I watched as she threw her arms around his torso, hugging him tightly as he laughed and hugged her back.

As I waited for Sue, I had a feeling I was going to regret lying to Claire. I would be right.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	19. Chapter 19

Regan

Sue eyed the flowers all the way home. I knew instantly from her expression when she saw them that they were most definitely not from her. She asked who they were from, and I told her that I honestly didn't know. There were no more questions about it. When we got home, I placed them on the kitchen table and escaped upstairs.

I heaved my books and notebooks onto my desk and flopped down in the chair. My desk was facing the window to the backyard, and I stared out at the woods. I absently picked at the spirals on my notebook as I gazed into trees that lined the backyard. I was strangely drawn to them in that moment - was it the colors of the changing fall leaves? The late afternoon sun peeked through the clouds, shining on the backyard for an all too brief second before ducking behind their cover again. I sighed. The brief spot of light felt like my life lately. Happiness was all too fleeting.

Even though they were downstairs, the flowers mocked me. Someone somewhere had cared to send them, but who? I was betting my mom sent them and simply forgot to put her stupid name on the card. Sure, that was it.

However, I was lying to myself. I knew I was. My mom thought flowers were silly; she always had. 'Why buy something that will just die? I'd rather get you a nice sweater or a pair of shoes that you can wear over and over again,' she had always said. The short vase stuffed with bright pink roses were definitely not from my mother and I knew it.

"Stop obsessing," I told myself firmly, twisting my hair into a bun at the nape of my neck. I pulled out my yoga mat after changing into some sweats and a hoodie, but I couldn't clear my mind long enough to actually enjoy it. The flowers, my mom, Claire….a million different thoughts zoomed through my brain at once, making it hard to even concentrate on one thing long enough to finish a thought.

I'd never wanted to shut my brain off more.

The house seemed too silent as I waited for the phone to ring. Looking over my shoulder, I could see out my bedroom and across the hallway into Sue and Charlie's room. The old phone on Sue's nightstand sat quietly, as if it hadn't rung in decades. Was I stupid to expect to hear from my mother today? I didn't think so…I loved her. As selfish and unfeeling as she could be sometimes, she was still my mom, and I still loved her more than anyone else in the world. Why she didn't seem to return the feelings for me wasn't something I understood. I wasn't sure I ever would.

Giving up on yoga, I crumpled my mat up and tossed it into a heap at the bottom of my closet. Maybe I would feel more like yoga later. I flopped down at my desk, realizing that I probably should at least try to play catch up with my homework, although that wasn't the most appealing idea ever. I stared out the window as my mind whirred; my head was starting to hurt from all of this thinking.

The only sound was the sound my pen made as it scraped down the spirals of the notebook. They made a clinking noise that meshed together with the sound of Sue as she clanked the dishes around as she cooked dinner downstairs.

When she called me down for dinner an hour later, I still had no clue about the flowers, and I had yet to touch my homework. If my mom had sent them, she would have definitely put her name on the card. There was no way she would let a deed like that go unnoticed. No, it certainly hadn't been her.

Charlie wandered into the kitchen after me after undoubtedly being pulled in by his nose.

"What's cookin?" he asked, walking over to where Sue stood. She smiled over her shoulder as she pulled the oven open a crack to peer inside.

"It's a surprise," was all she said as she closed the door. He smirked at her, his mustache twitching as his obvious disappointment. She flashed her white teeth at him in an innocent manner, and Charlie chuckled. He pulled her against his side, playing a quick kiss on her temple as he gently squeezed her against him.

I felt like an intruder.

I slunk down in my chair, wanting to disappear completely. This had been the weirdest birthday of my entire life.

I hadn't been in the kitchen for two minutes when I heard a rumbling sound as it moved up the quiet street. When it pulled into the driveway, I realized it was Seth's ugly aqua and white Bronco. I was caught in a love/hate relationship with that thing. It was huge and loud, and terribly unfortunate looking; however, it stood for stability…reliability - both were things I admired.

My thoughts about Seth's vehicle confirmed my fears…Forks was indeed making me a little bit crazy. I poked at the ice in the glass of water waiting at my seat at the kitchen table. As it bounced up and down in the liquid, I feared I really was going crazy. I wondered why people I didn't know were sending me expensive boots, and why wolves hung out in my backyard, and why I suddenly got excited to hear an ugly truck pull up into the driveway.

I didn't have much more time to think. I caught myself biting my lip as I stared in anticipation at the doorway to the kitchen. The front door clicked shut, and I realized that Sue was too busy cooking to notice her son was here. I didn't hear a sound as he tip toed into the kitchen. He grinned his signature smile at me, and I felt my heart start to race. Holding his finger over his mouth, he signaled for me to be quiet as he soundlessly crossed the kitchen floor. I was amazed that someone so large could move so quietly.

He snuck up behind his mother, paused, and then grabbed her sides as he shouted 'Boo!'

"Seth!" Sue shrieked, dropping the packet of cheese onto the counter. She turned around and scowled up at her son who gave her an innocent smile. I watched as his smile seemed to spread to her and soon she was grinning right back at him. Smacking him across the chest with a dishtowel, she pretended to scoff.

"You love me," he chuckled, reaching around her and picking up a piece of green pepper off the cutting board behind her. He crunched it in his teeth, still smiling like a jackass at his mom.

I stood up to get some more ice for my glass. Seth appeared in front of me, still grinning. "Happy birthday!" he said excitedly, bending down to hug me. Was it just me, or did he seem more excited about my birthday than I was? I stiffened a little as his large body came closer, his muscled arms wrapping around me gently. He gave me a quick squeeze, and I felt tingles run up and down my body at the surprise contact.

I heard Sue cough as he pulled away.

"Seth!" she shrieked suddenly. He straightened and both of our heads jerked towards Sue. "Uhm…help me grate the cheese?" she finally spit out. Her eyes were wide as she stared at him, trying to regain her composure.

Seth looked down at me then back up at his mom. "Uh…sure, Mom," he said.

"Wash your hands," she said sternly, her eyes darting between him and me. What was going on? I stood in front of the fridge still in a bit of shock. Seth had hugged me. It was weird but strangely…nice.

Charlie shuffled in, looking halfway amused. "Seth…you're here," he said flatly, scratching his head. His ruffled flannel shirt was un-tucked, his sock-clad feet shuffling across the kitchen floor as he moved, looking like he was just waking up from a recliner-nap.

Seth chuckled again, giving Charlie a hearty slap on the back. "Yup, I'm here, Chief. The party can commence!"

Charlie looked at me, giving me a smirk as he sat down at the table.

"Party?" I squeaked suddenly, looking up at him. His warm, brown eyes twinkled at me as I started to panic. They didn't' really plan anything, did they?

"There's no party. Just dinner," Sue assured me.

"You are the birthday girl, after all," Seth said with a wink. My heart pounded in my ears. Did he just wink at me? I strangely liked it. Walking back over to my chair, I sat down and tried not to panic. The thought of a birthday party at seventeen disgusted me.

Once the four of us sat down, I realized Seth was sitting right next to me. I looked at him sideways as Sue placed the platter of vegetarian lasagna down in front of us in the center of the table. Seth smiled at me, his brown eyes shining. How was it possible that he still managed to look like a Greek God even in the florescent lights of Charlie's kitchen?

"I hope you like this….I got the recipe online, but it sounded pretty good," Sue said, wringing her hands together nervously.

"Anything would have been fine," I said, unfolding my napkin. Her face fell a little, but I quickly saved myself. "Anything you make is always really good. I wasn't worried," I added with an uncomfortable laugh. That seemed to pacify her slightly, and she smiled as she took her seat next to Charlie on the squeaky kitchen chair.

Seth served me a generous portion of the pasta, then himself. I had to admit; it looked amazing and smelled even better, but I could barely notice. Seth looked at me with his usual happy smile, yet there was something different about it tonight. It was almost…hopeful?

He's too old, my mind chided me as I ate. I stabbed a piece of pasta with my fork and twirled it a few times before jamming it in my mouth. Looking up, I met Sue's questioning eyes.

"Really great," I said with as much of a smile as I could muster. Sue shifted in her chair, smiling at me. She took a sip of her sweet tea, and I watched as she glanced at Seth who was still looking at me. I glanced over at him, and he looked away as his pasta suddenly became very interesting.

As I chewed, my eyes looked into the living room where the vase of pink roses sat on the table in the hallway. His eyes followed mine, and he quickly looked away. I frowned, taking a sip of my drink.

Could it be? Was it him? I felt my heart start to race at the thought. Don't be stupid, I chided myself. Of course it wasn't him. It was probably…someone who felt sorry for you, I told myself.

"Did you have a nice birthday?" Seth asked. I nodded, curling my toes inside the warm, expensive boots from Bella that I still wore. Seth smiled warmly, seeming satisfied with my answer.

"Claire um…decorated my locker," I finally mentioned, feeling my cheeks turning pink. All three of them laughed, and Sue just shook her head.

"I had a feeling Claire would do something like that," Sue laughed. "I'm surprised you're not doing something with her this weekend."

I shrugged, immediately feeling guilty. You feel guilty because you lied to Claire to go out and drink, my mind screamed at me. I looked away from Sue, still feeling horrible about lying to Claire.

"I think she's busy or something," I mumbled.

"Claire is quite the social butterfly. You girls get along pretty well, don't' you? Now that you're a little used to her?" Sue prodded.

"She's um…interesting," I said finally, chewing another piece of lasagna. All three of them laughed, and I figured out that they all must know Claire pretty well.

"My daughter, Leah, told me today that she'll be home in a few weeks for Thanksgiving. She really wants to meet you," Sue said.

I looked up, surprised. "Me?"

She nodded. "Yup. Her fiancé couldn't get the holiday off since he's new at the office so she's coming home for the weekend."

"He has to work on Thanksgiving?" I asked, looking up. Sue smiled and nodded.

"Scott just finished veterinary school in May, and he's only been at the clinic for a few months so he's at the bottom of the pecking order for now. He's a vet," she said.

"Fitting," Charlie muttered through a mouthful of food. He jumped a little after Sue swiftly kicked him under the table.

Seth just grinned, as usual. What was going on?

"Anyway," she continued. "You'll like Leah. She's going to stay with us that weekend."

"Will she want her room back?" I asked.

"No, she'll be fine on the couch. I'm just glad you finally get to meet her," Sue said with a smile.

Wondering why her daughter wanted to meet me so badly, I tried to enjoy the vegetarian dish Sue had prepared. The meat-less lasagna was wonderful – she really knew what she was doing in the kitchen. When we finished eating, she stood and cleared the plates. Seth began to chatter with Charlie about police business, and I tried not to stare at him as he spoke. The warm tones of his voice filled the kitchen, and I began to feel strangely relaxed.

I looked over to see Sue walking over to the table with a cake. Not just any cake - a pink birthday cake. It was small but had several tiers that were decorated in different colors of pink. It had a bow made out of fondant, and frosting tied around the center, and chocolate was drizzled down the sides like pin stripes. It was the cutest cake I had ever seen.

"The uh…girls and I put this together at the bakery for you yesterday and today. They wanted to do something nice," she said awkwardly, placing it on the table. It had a few candles lit on top of it, and they burned brightly.

I stared at her as she placed it on the table in front of me. My chest tightened up as she sat back down, looking over at me almost shyly. Biting my lip, I fought the urge to burst into tears as I realized that this woman that I barely knew had taken probably half her day at work to make me a pink birthday cake when my own mother hadn't even bothered to call me.

"T-thank you," I stuttered, still holding back tears. I looked down so that they wouldn't see my eyes shining.

"Well…blow out the candles. Make a wish," Charlie grunted, leaning back in his chair. I nodded, looking up to blow out the candles. As I did, my eyes met Seth's. The warm, milk chocolate color of his eyes were burned into my mind as I watched him watch me. And try as I might, I couldn't help what I wished for when the moment came, and the flames were extinguished on top of the pink birthday cake.

I wished I was older so that I didn't have to feel bad about wanting Seth Clearwater.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After blowing out my candles, we each had a generous share of the delicious, little cake. I think Seth polished off the entire bottom tier by himself. I had never seen a person eat as much as he could. My cheeks burned the entire time we ate as I realized that as much as I tried to deny it, I had a crush on Seth.

I told myself I should feel bad about it; here I was, seventeen years old and a high school student and yet I couldn't deny that his warm smile and pretty brown eyes made my heart thump loudly in my chest. I guessed he was in his twenties; his face was vacant of anything like wrinkles or anything like that. It was strange…if I had to guess, I'd say he was maybe twenty-three or twenty-four, just based on his appearance alone. Well…whatever age he was, he was in the best shape a human being could be in.

Looking over at him, I shoved a piece of cake in my mouth and chewed while trying to get a good look at him and not look suspicious. His arm muscles bulged slightly against the fabric of his crisp looking, button down, black shirt. The sleeves were rolled up, exposing his sinewy forearms that flexed impressively as he stood to politely clear our empty plates. I watched him as he walked over to the sink. He wore dark jeans that were loose, yet managed to give me a decent view of his firm looking backside. Although I couldn't be sure if it was firm - I had seen him shirtless in the yard when he was cleaning fish; he didn't have an ounce of fat on him.

I looked over at Sue as he cleaned the plates and saw her staring right back at me. I looked down, playing with the curled up corner of the placemat on the table. Had she seen me staring at her son's ass? God, I hoped not.

Seth left later that night, giving me a friendly wave as he exited. He looked almost sad to be leaving, and I briefly wondered if he missed being around people. After all, that house was huge and empty.

The next day, Kenz called me and set up plans for my birthday escape. They were picking me up at eleven pm; I knew Sue and Charlie would be fast asleep by then. I had snuck out of houses dozens of times and was sure that the time wouldn't be a problem. That is, until the time came to do it.

I finished arranging my hair and got dressed as quietly as I could. It was almost eleven, and I knew they would be here soon, and I didn't want Charlie waking up. My bedroom door was shut, and I could hear Charlie's snores through the thick wood; I was safe. I glanced out the window, wondering when Courtney and Kenz were coming. We were going to some guy Jeremy's house to drink for awhile for my birthday apparently. I didn't really care enough to ask about the specifics. All I knew was that my mom never even called me for my birthday, and so I figured it was safe to assume she didn't care one bit. If she didn't care, why the hell should I?

When I was ready, I opened my bedroom door and peeked out. Sue and Charlie's bedroom door was cracked open, and I could see them both sleeping soundly. I sighed quietly, taking the first step into the hallway. My boot made the floor creak loudly, and I sucked in a panicked breath. I took another step, and the floor creaked even louder.

Shit, I thought. This was not going to work. I was going to have to use the window. As quietly as I could, I snuck back inside my room and closed the door. I really didn't want to use the window - heights scared me. However, the need to go out and blow off steam was much greater than my fear of heights at that moment.

Opening the window, a cold gush of air hit my face. It sobered me a little. Did I really want to do this? Thinking of the silent phone on my birthday, I knew the answer - yes.

A trellis ran up the side of the house not far from my window. I knew that if I could just make it to that, I would be able to climb down to freedom. However, as I sat on the windowsill in the cold night, it looked a lot further out of my grasp than I had pictured it.

Taking a deep breath, I let my purse go. It fell to the ground with a soft thump. Now the hard part, I thought. Maneuvering away from the window, I stretched my arm out towards the trellis; my fingers just barely grasping it.

Just push off from the window, and you can grab it, I silently coached myself. It took me a few seconds but eventually, I just bit back my fear and went for it. It felt like things happened in slow motion after that. The wood of the trellis cracked underneath my fingers, pinching the soft skin of my hand as I yelped. My foot slipped, sending me careening downwards, falling two stories.

I knew by the pain that shot up my leg that my left foot hit the ground first; I heard a sickening crack as the rest of my body joined it on the ground with a thud. The pain was so great that my head began to spin, and soon I blacked out.

The last thing I remembered was being picked up by two warm, strong arms.


	20. Chapter 20

Seth

I chewed so hard on the corner of my callused finger that I barely felt it when my teeth sliced through the skin. Pulling back, I glared at the open skin as it quickly sealed itself shut, healing almost instantly. The fluorescent light above my head buzzed, flickering off for a split second before popping back on. I continued to chew mercilessly at my cuticles and nails, too nervous to do anything else. Across the narrow hospital bed, my mom sighed in a way that clearly told me she was irritated.

My eyes flicked up to meet hers, and I lowered my hand down to my lap. Then my knee started bouncing nervously.

"I'm gonna go get something to eat. You want anything?"

"No," I answered shortly. My mom scowled at me, rolling her eyes.

"You haven't eaten since last night. She's going to sleep most of the day they said. She won't wake up for a few more hours, Seth."

"I want to be here in case she wakes up," I answered like an asinine child.

My mom stood in the doorway of the hospital room, her dark brown eyes soft but blazing at the same time. They could cut through anything like a knife.

"They gave her painkillers, Seth. She won't be awake-"

"Mom…just…no, thank you," I said, trying to reign in my sudden temper. I was exhausted from staying up all night and doing nothing but worrying, and my brain was tired from trying to figure out what I could have done to stop Regan from falling out of her bedroom window. I couldn't exactly run up to her in my wolf form or butt naked as I would have been in the spur of the moment when she fell. But I still felt like I should have been able to do something.

"Fine, have it your way," she muttered, turning and leaving the room. I watched her leave, and I knew she was tired too. I shouldn't have been so short with her, but I was at my wit's end. Regan was in the hospital – some imprint I was. I was a cop and a werewolf, both of which had given me the job of protecting her and what had I done? I had watched my imprint fall from a second story window and break her ankle.

I suck at this. When she finds out I'm her imprint she'll probably demand a refund, I thought bitterly. She already thought I was weird; I knew that much. Would she remember me picking her up and taking her to the hospital? I hoped not. I had watched with horror as she climbed out her bedroom window and slipped and fell. For once I was glad that I shared parts of her pain; I sure as hell deserved it.

As I sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair next to her bed, I leaned forward to put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. How had I let this happen? I officially sucked as an imprinter. So far my imprint had slept with the pack's reigning man slut, made friends with girls that didn't give a shit about her, and had fallen out of her window and broken her ankle…all when I was supposed to be protecting her.

I knew that I shouldn't blame myself for everything that had happened to Regan but that didn't mean that I didn't.

Pressing my lips together, I ignored my tired muscles and watched my imprint breathe softly in her drug induced sleep. She hadn't been conscious since right before I picked her up from where she fell. Reaching over, I brushed a strand of her hair out of her eyes; it was all sweaty and matted, but she still looked beautiful to me. Unable to resist the pull, I stood up and leaned over the bed. I could hear her heartbeat; it was slow but steady in her chest; her breaths low and even. She was out cold.

My lips burned when I finally leaned forward and pressed them on her forehead. Even though the nasty smell of the sterile hospital hung everywhere, I could still smell Regan's sweet cherry almond scent as it lingered in the air around her. If I could have one thing burned into my memory, her scent would be it. Heaven.

I sat back down silently, clasping my hands together. I watched her sleep for another few moments until I heard a familiar set of footsteps coming down the hall. Looking up, I gave Claire a confused look as she peeked around the doorway.

"Claire?"

Her eyes met mine, and I felt relieved that she had come to see Regan. I took it as a sign that they were closer friends now more than ever. She walked in, and I spied what she held in her hands, suddenly feeling sick.

"What the hell happened to those?" I whispered, gesturing to the bouquet of flowers she held in her hands. She furrowed her eyebrows, frowning down at the tattered looking bouquet of daises she held in her left hand. Her coat hung haphazardly off her shoulder, and she looked like she had actually hurried over there.

She shrugged, her expression softening when she saw Regan.

"Will she be okay?" she asked meekly. I nodded.

"Just a broken ankle. Nothing that can't be…fixed," I finally choked out. Claire's sour expression returned.

"Well good, I guess. Not that I care," she sniffed, wiping the corner of her eye with the sleeve of her fleece jacket. I stared at her.

"Have you…have you been crying?" I asked in disbelief. Claire didn't cry. Claire made fun of girls that cried. She usually told them to stop acting like girls.

"No!" she snapped, tossing the rather rough-looking flowers on the foot of the bed. I glanced at them, making a face.

"Did you beat them on the side of the building before you got here?" I asked, picking them up. She looked at Regan, then at the cast that poked out of the bottom of the bed.

"Something like that," she muttered. Normally I would have thought she was exaggerating, but today I didn't doubt her. Several of the daises were intact, but a majority of them were hanging down in pathetic looking broke clumps. As I dropped them into the pitcher of water beside Regan's bed, several of the white petals fluttered pitifully to the ground.

"Do you want to sit?" I asked, motioning the chair behind me. She shook her head dejectedly; still scowling at Regan's sleeping form.

"What's the matter?" I asked in an exasperated tone. It was extremely unlike Claire to be this quiet and un-opinionated at a time like this. Normally she would be chattering away while she fluffed Regan's pillows and made arrangements for her to get rides everywhere.

Claire was silent.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

She looked up, her brown eyes darting to mine. I was shocked to see that she was actually sad.

"I talked to Sue in the hall. She said you found her."

"I did."

"So?"

"So what?"

She huffed, putting her hands on his hips. "So, didn't you even stop for one second to think where she might have been going?"

I thought a moment, my mind slowly clicking the pieces together. Regan was sneaking out, and she hadn't seen Claire on her birthday and…

"Oh. Did you ask her to do something?"

She nodded.

"I'm sorry, Claire. Yeah…she was probably going out with what's-their-faces."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, two of the freaking skankiest, nastiest, bad reputation sluts at Forks High!" she practically growled.

It was times like these that I was somewhat grateful that Claire wasn't anything supernatural - vampire, werewolf, or any sort of combination of the like. She was already hell on wheels as it was, and she would never need anything added to that equation. Quil was going to have enough to deal with…the poor bastard. I had seen his love for Claire in his head for over a decade, and I had envied that love and devotion on many levels; however, times like this I somewhat pitied him.

"You're mad because…"

"She lied."

I nodded, looking down at Regan's peacefully sleeping form. Now I understood. Claire was upset because Regan had apparently ditched her to hang out with her stupid other friends - the girls I didn't like; the girls that had been with her the night she was with Brady.

"We were going ice skating, but…I guess that wasn't entertaining enough or something," Claire muttered, scratching her head. She glanced at Regan one more time before turning and quietly leaving the room. The door closed with a soft thump, and we were along again.

What would have happened if she would have gotten out with those two bad news girls? Where would they have gone? What bad choices would Regan have made this time? Would I have been able to save her? I looked down at my imprint, shaking my head.

"You have a wild streak, Regan…what happened to you?" I asked softly. I looked up to see my mom standing in the doorway, her arms crossed. I jumped slightly. I had been so preoccupied with watching Regan that I hadn't realized she was near again.

"Do you really want to know?" she asked. She walked in, tossing me a muffin and placed two cups of coffee on the table beside Regan. I bit into the pastry, quickly realizing that the hospital's baking staff couldn't come close to anything my mom could make.

"What do you mean?"

"Seth…" she said softly, leaning over the bed. Glancing down at Regan as she slept off the drugs, she pushed a strand of hair away from her face. As I watch my mom with my imprint, my heart began to ache in that familiar way.

"Seth baby, Regan had a hard time before she came here. You need to realize that. She wasn't okay before she came here."

I started to feel suddenly sick. "What…what are you talking about?"

My mom stared at me across the bed, and I flopped down in the uncomfortable chair. "Tell me," I said quietly, my voice full of fervor. I heard her press her lips together in the way that she did before she told me or Leah something we ultimately weren't going to like when we were little kids.

"Tell me," I repeated. I was tired, hungry, and completely exhausted from worrying about Regan all day and night. I just wanted this nightmare to be over and for Regan to be healed.

"She…she had something happen to her in Phoenix. That's why she's here. She needed to get away from that - a rough crowd down there."

I looked up at her, my stomach twisting in my gut. "What happened?"

"Seth…" My mom said sadly. She looked at Regan, then back at me.

"Mom, just tell me," I begged quietly.

We were both silent for a moment. The only sound was the light above Regan's bed as it buzzed again. She shifted her weight, looking at me.

"Regan was raped before she came to Forks."

Time stopped. My heart stood still. The ground was yanked out from underneath me.

"She was…WHAT?" I growled, standing up. The flimsy chair fell behind me from standing up so fast, and my heart began to pound. Red clouded my vision as my spine flooded with heat, and my hands began to tremble. I blinked as my chest began to heave rapidly, threatening to accept the change that was slowly creeping up on me. I was going to phase.

My mom held up her hands. "Not here Seth," she said firmly. Think about it…not here," she warned again.

My heartbeat pounded in my ears, making it hard to see straight. I had never been so pissed in my life. The incident with Brady was bad, but this - that was like a day at the beach compared to this.

"Where? Who was it?" I growled through my clenched teeth. Tears formed in my mom's eyes as she stood across the bed and watched me shake and spiral out of control.

"Forget it Seth. Just…you can't phase here," she said quietly. I bit back a snarl as my trembling hands clenched at my sides. Heat flooded my entire body now as I tried to get control. I barely noticed when my mom walked cautiously around the bed to stand beside me. She lifted Regan's limp hand, letting her skin graze my trembling one.

Heat flooded me again, but it was a different kind of warmth this time. It wasn't the fire of the phase…it was the warmth of the sun. I felt like I was standing on the beach on a sunny day, breathing in the fresh salt water air. Almost at once my body calmed itself as my mom continued to hold Regan's hand against my own.

I calmed myself down eventually. I didn't want to hurt my mom or Regan. And as soon I could think clearly again, I realized that I couldn't stop what had already happened. I also realized that all I could do now is to prevent it from ever happening again.

When Regan began to stir later that night, I had finally calmed down completely. I motioned for my mom to come over to the side of the bed.

"Maybe you shouldn't be here when she wakes up," my mom said in a low voice, just so that I could hear.

"What do you mean?" I practically gasped. I managed to tear my eyes away from Regan's face long enough to look at my tired mother.

"She's just waking up. Can't you step out and come back in a few minutes? I don't want to overwhelm her, Seth," she said gently. I nodded slowly, turning to the door. By the time Regan opened her eyes, I was in the hall, out of sight.

She was confused for a few moments until my mom reminded her of what had happened. She didn't spare Regan the lecture, even in her doped up state. She immediately informed her that she had done a completely stupid and reckless thing and that it wasn't to happen again, and she would make sure of that. I didn't doubt my mom's words for one second as I stood outside the room, listening to them. My mother was world famous for her punishments, and they usually fit the crime as well. When I was six, I threw a rock at a car passing by on our dirt road back in La Push; after that, she had made me wash her car and the neighbor's cars every other day for the rest of the summer. I still wince when I look at a shammy.

"Where's Seth?"

Her words rang in my ears.

Where was Seth? She wanted to know where I was? My day was now complete.

I was in the room in a flash. Regan's eyes were sluggish but still widened slightly when she saw me come loping into the tiny hospital room.

"Hey you," I said quietly, pausing at the end of the bed.

"Hey," she croaked, trying to sit up a little. She winced as she tried to move, and I felt myself wince right along with her as if her pain were my own.

"Ah!" she gasped, her face draining of all color. Pain shot through me. I wasn't sure if it was from watching my imprint in pain or…were we really just that connected?

"Don't, don't honey," my mom said, gently pushing her back in the bed. Regan exhaled shakily, still trembling from trying to sit up.

"I'm going to go…get more coffee," my mom said softly, turning to leave. She paused before she left the room, tossing a 'behave yourself or else' look over her shoulder at me. Did all moms know how to do that, or just mine?

I turned to Regan once I was sure my mom was out of earshot. I had a hard enough time talking to my imprint without my mom around - that was just added pressure.

"Don't try to move," I suggested. "Here," I said, moving over to help her sit up. Several little gasps of pain escaped from her as she sat up a little, closing her eyes in pain. When she whimpered slightly, I realized I would have thrown myself out of a twenty story building just to take her place at that moment.

"What happened?" she croaked, looking uneasily over at me. Did she know that it was me who picked her up in the yard? She couldn't, she had been unconscious…hadn't she?

"You fell out of your window and broke your ankle."

"I know. Sue told me that much, but…"

"You screamed, and she heard you. You fell pretty hard Regan; it was a two story window."

She frowned, leaning her head back against the pillow. "Oh," she said softly.

"Why? What do you remember?"

She shook her head against the stiff looking white hospital pillow. Her fingers kneaded at the scratch wool blanket, and I could practically see her brain moving, wondering what had happened to her.

"I just…don't remember much, I guess," she mumbled. She blinked slowly, looking down at the large lump under the blanket that is her new cast. She sighed, and I watched her eyes droop more and more until she was finally asleep again.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, I did something I never did – I called in sick to work. Well, I wasn't really sick. Wolves didn't get colds or flus, but I figured it was all down the drain anyway since I was basically playing hooky at my boss' house all day that day. Charlie looked surprised when I showed up on his doorstep that morning, but welcomed me anyway. I handed my mom the Wal-Mart bags, practically pushing by them when Regan's scent hit my nose.

"Hey, Seth," Charlie welcomed me gruffly, nodding as I brushed past him. I stopped in the doorway of the living room, spying Regan sleeping groggily on the couch. She was still on a lot pain medication for her ankle, and I felt horrible. After seeing how miserable and uncomfortable she had looked in the hospital the night before, I had skipped my wolf patrol to phase and run to Port Angeles where there was a twenty-four hour Wal-Mart. I had phased back, pulled on my clothes, and purchased the fluffiest pillows, the softest throw blanket, and the squishiest mattress cover Wal-Mart had to offer. I had proudly carried them all the way back to Forks in my teeth, despite the cackles in my head from Quil and Embry while they patrolled.

"What's…oh," my mom muttered, looking in the bags. She retreated upstairs to secure Regan's bed, and Charlie looked at me awkwardly.

"Nice of you to come. Early, isn't it?" he asked, jamming his hands into the pockets of his fleece jacket.

I shrugged, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other. "I know." It was too early for pretenses – I didn't have the energy right then to play coy with Charlie. I was there because I cared about Regan, plain and simple, and I no longer cared if he knew.

"Ready," my mom called down the stairs, letting me know that Regan's bed had been made up with my purchases for her. If I couldn't take the pain of a broken ankle away from her, the least I could do was make her as comfortable as possible.

"We gotta get her upstairs. My back is…undependable," Charlie grunted, placing his hand on the back of his neck, squeezing it tightly. I strode silently over to my imprint, where she was dozing on the couch.

"With the two of us we should be able to get her," he added, following me. I ignored him, bending down closer to her. She still smelled of the hospital, but her scent was mixed with the comforting one of my mom and even of Charlie now that she was back in the house. Call me crazy but…it helped calm me.

"I got her, Charlie," I said before placing my arms under her knees and behind her neck, just like I had when I had found her blacked out in the bushes after her fall. Jolts of the most pleasant electricity flowed through me as I stood up straight, avoiding Charlie's eyes. He was no fool.

As I carried her, trying to not wake her, I reveled in the way that her skin actually felt warm against my own; nothing had felt warm to me since before I phased at the age of fifteen. It was amazing to me how unbelievable fragile she was; her bulky, plaster cast encasing her left leg all the way up to her knee was a very clear reminder to me. My imprint was breakable and very much so. She wasn't like Nessie, or Bella, or one of the other immortal creatures that I called my friends. Regan was human and was most likely going to get hurt again. I had to step up and do my job like I was supposed to - secret werewolf or not.

I had to tell Regan.

I placed her in the bed, a smug look crossing my features as I watched her sink comfortably into the extras I had purchased for her. My mom watched my face, and as soon as Charlie was satisfied, he went back downstairs. She grabbed my arm and dragged me from Regan's room to her bedroom. She closed the door and began to pace. I groaned inwardly - that was never a good sign.

"What now?" I snapped, running my hand through my hair. I needed to sleep for about twelve hours after a long, hot shower. However, what I really wanted to do was curl up at the foot of Regan's bed like a damn house cat until her ankle was healed.

"You need to cool it."

I gaped at her as she continued to attempt to wear a path into the carpet.

"You know, you're gonna eventually hit China if you keep that up," I muttered, folding my hands behind my head.

I watched as her head shot up, her black eyes ignited. "That's a sixteen year old girl in there Seth-"

"Seventeen. She's seventeen."

"Say it like you believe it."

I was silent after her comment. That was a low blow.

"Mom…I know. It's not like that. If I could let you into my head…I'd show you. That's why I want to tell her. I want to tell her everything. Mom, you don't have to worry about me."

"I'm not worried about you for once," she snapped. Her hand stretched out to point towards the direction of Regan's room. "I've got a mixed up, hurt, little girl in that bedroom who is completely lost right now. She's floating through life, and she's headed in a bad direction," she said. Her voice was shaking with emotion, and her hand began to match it as she pointed towards the door.

"Mom-"

"No, you listen. That is a scared, confused girl. She proved to us the other night just how lost she is. She was willing to fall out of a second story window to escape…I'm not sure for what, but…she was. Seth, she's got bigger things to worry about than the fact that you…well….you know."

"I wasn't going to tell her about that just…the wolf thing. Claire knows."

"That's Claire. Claire has known since she was two. This is different, Seth. She's seventeen…let her be seventeen before throwing her into this world."

"You say it like I had a choice!" I snapped back at her. My exhaustion and worry was starting to wear on me.

"You're not the only one," she countered back, her voice low and smooth. I stared at her, that sickly feeling of knowing my mom was right sinking into my stomach. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I whipped it out. I gave my mother one last glare before quietly leaving the room and retreating outside to the front porch to answer it.

"What could you possibly want right now?" I half growled, half teased.

"Call it sisterly intuition."

"So Mom called you?"

"Yep," Leah said, popping the 'p'. "You know, I'd really like to meet this girl when I come home in a few weeks. Could you maybe not break her before then?"

"Not now, Leah," I growled through clenched teeth.

"Easy, easy…down boy," she chuckled. "Mom called me last night. She told me you were busy last night."

"I skipped out on patrol to do some…errands."

"You'll elaborate later. Why the sour mood, pup?"

"This is like the pot and the kettle, Leah," I snickered finally. She laughed with me on the other end of the line, and I shook my head.

"I know. I know…I'm happy now, and I want my little brother to be happy too. Is that so bad?"

"How is Scotty?"

"Fine. Bummed he can't come home with me for Thanksgiving, but…such is life."

"Well, he's at the bottom of the food chain being new at the clinic. You could teach him about that," I teased.

"Hey, I held higher rank in the pack than you did, squirt."

"Shut up," I whined, frowning into the misty, morning light. It was just past seven, and the mist was still rising off the pavement on the street.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her tone serious.

"Mom won't let me tell Regan about the wolf thing-"

"Seth, no-"

"Leah, she needs to know. Claire knows. Scott knows! Not about the imprint, but about…about what I am. Who I am."

"Those are different. Claire was a baby, and she's always known."

"Mom said that same thing."

"And Mom is right. Anyway, I told Scott after he proposed. We're two adults that are getting married, Seth, and I thought he should know what I used to be before we get married and have children."

"True…freak," I laughed, remembering the day Leah had brought me with her to Seattle earlier that spring. She was retired and didn't want to risk re-phasing again, so I had come and demonstrated one night in her tiny backyard for Scott. Even as a grown man he had been…unsettled. He was really understanding once he woke up from being blacked out though.

"Mom is right, Seth. Jeez, what are you doing over there in Forks? Letting your imprint break her leg while sneaking out…"

"Enough, I feel bad enough already."

"I know you do. But Seth…it sounds like Regan…just really needs a friend. From what Mom told me…she's got some stuff to work out."

"Mom told you and not me?" I gasped, horrified that Leah knew about my imprint being raped before I did. I ground my teeth together to keep from growling.

"Yes," Leah said her voice low and serious. "Seth, promise me you won't do anything reckless. That was in the past, and you need to help her move on from it. You freaking out and losing your shit won't help anybody."

"I know," I said, relaxing. "I still wanted to break something."

"I did too, Seth, I did too. That sounds horrible, and I'm sorry."

"Thanks."

"She needs a friend, little brother. She needs an imprint that will be there for her and help her sort life out. Obviously her mother is…an idiot."

"Her mom didn't even call her on her birthday."

"Like I said. But anyway… don't freak out; she's a teenage girl, and it's her job to freak out on a daily basis. I'll try to talk to her when I come for Thanksgiving. Deal?"

"Deal," I grumbled, gripping my phone.

"In the meantime…would it suck so bad to just help her? Be her friend, but…not her creepy friend," she said firmly, a teasing tone to her voice. "Just make her feel special. Looking back, that was something I could have used when I was her age. I would have given anything for someone to care and not abandon me when I needed them most, you know. Make the most of the imprint, Seth. Be what she needs you to be. She doesn't need a freaky werewolf boyfriend. She probably needs what most seventeen-year-old girls need – a stable, reliable, level headed friend that won't abandon her and will offer some moral support sometimes. Use the age thing to your advantage for now and just help her, Sethy."

"O-kay," I laughed, "Since when did you get so smart?"

I heard Leah snort on the other end of the line. "I don't know. I still don't feel all that smart, but I do remember what it was like to be a teenage girl. It's terrifying."

"I'm not going to let anything else happen to her."

"That's not really what I'm talking about but fine. I'm not worried that the boogey man is going to get her. I'm saying that it's terrifying to be seventeen and changing into a woman. That's a big deal. That's the scary part."

"I guess…I kinda skipped that whole teenager thing. One minute I was fifteen, then the next I was killing vampires, then I blinked and looked in the mirror and I looked twenty-three. I never went through any of this Leah…I skipped it."

"I know you did. I got the teenager thing done before I phased and really…you didn't miss much. But Regan is still going through that, and you need to remember that. Don't take it away from her with all the other regular drama of that place. Let her enjoy it before it becomes her life."

"She might not…" I trailed off, not wanting to say the words out loud. She might not pick me, even when the time comes. But, my sister was a mind reader.

"She would be crazy not to, Seth."

After making Leah promise to come home in a few weeks for Thanksgiving, I hung up the phone and retreated back upstairs.

"I'm not saying anything," I said to my mother as I returned to her bedroom. She was sitting on the bed, staring at me as I grabbed the ottoman that was in front of the armchair by the window. I carried it into Regan's bedroom, thankful that I could move completely silent if I wanted to. I sat it down next to the side of the bed and tried to get comfortable. My mom eventually went back downstairs without saying anything, and I was glad. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and Regan for a while.

She was curled on her side, her hurt leg placed awkwardly out to one side, the plaster boot peeking out from under her blankets. Her bright pink toenails looked back at me, uncharacteristically happy looking, despite the bulky cast covering her foot.

I sighed, leaning over so that my elbows rested on my knees. I looked down at my sleeping imprint hoping that she was at least too drugged up to feel any pain. I had a feeling she was okay for now; it was strange, but I felt connected to her in a tremendous way already, and I could tell what she was feeling sometimes - or at least I thought so - right now I felt almost doped up myself at the moment.

Maybe Leah was right. Maybe I was overreacting about everything that had happened so far between us. I just wanted her to like me. I think I felt that if she at least liked me, then maybe someday when she was older the chances of her falling in actual love with me were greater. Was that crazy? True, I didn't feel like that about her yet, but what if I did someday? My heart told me that I would love her no matter what, but what about her? I knew I needed to listen to Leah on this one, that was for sure. I needed to just be there for Regan and not abandon her when she needed me the most. Not that I ever had dreamed of doing such a thing, but I wanted her to know that I was here for her. It wasn't that strange for me to want to be friends with her…right? I'm the son of the people she's living with…yeah…no, that's not weird. Okay, so it is a little weird…

When I did let myself think about what had happened to Regan back in Phoenix, my hands still trembled slightly at the thought. How someone could do such a thing to a young girl was completely beyond me, not to mention completely sick. I realized without a doubt that I wouldn't have thought twice about killing that guy if I somehow was to find him. I would love to see his blood on my hands. Regan meant everything to me already, and I would do anything to protect her.

A few hours later, she stirred, opening her groggy eyes. "Where…oh," she mumbled, looking up. She sucked in a sharp break through her teeth as she tried to move and remembered the pain in her leg.

"Try not to move," I said, putting my hand on hers. Her head went back on the pillow and she pressed her lips together into a thin line. She was in pain; I could feel it.

"Your hand is warm," she said groggily, and I realized that my hand still covered hers.

"Yeah, it's hot in here," I said, awkwardly pulling it back to myself. I really didn't know if it was hot in the room or not; she felt warm to me but then again…I hoped she always did.

I think she was back asleep before the words left my mouth, but I didn't mind. When she woke up again almost an hour later, she was a little more coherent. She slowly opened her big, green eyes, blinking a few times to clear her vision.

"What time is it?" she asked. I glanced out the window, shrugging. The dark rain clouds had covered the sky all day, making it look later that it was.

"Afternoon, I suppose," I mumbled, shrugging. She looked uneasily at me for a moment.

"Why are you here? Where's Sue? She's so mad at me…"

"I had the day off, I was just…visiting you. I was hoping my mom would take a nap, so I thought I'd sit with you in case you woke up," I said softly, glancing down at my hands. Regan nodded, her expressive green eyes looking lucid for the first time in days. "I just didn't want you to wake up alone and be…afraid," I finally added.

She looked at me skeptically, like she didn't know whether or not to believe me. Then as usual…she shocked me.

"You know, don't you?"

I unfolded my hands and rested them on my knees as an uncomfortable silence settled between us. "Know what?"

She licked her lips and turned over to lie on her back. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling, emotionless and cold.

"You know what happened in Phoenix."

I was silent for another moment before I could find my voice to speak again. "You don't know that," I offered.

"You do know though. I can tell – once people know what's happened to you, they all give you that same pathetic look. Like they pity you. They look at you like you're a reject or some sort of freak or something….that will never be the same again."

"That's harsh…that's not how I see you."

"It's how everyone sees me. Even my own mother. She basically threw me away like a piece of trash she didn't want anymore. Sent me away…like I'm someone else's problem. I didn't exactly ask for that to happen. It just did."

"You're fine, Regan. Just going through a hard time."

"Says you," she said, her voice hard. She sniffed, clenching her hands beside her on the bed. "It's not fair. I didn't want people here to know," she said, her voice ending in a whisper. Her breath caught in her throat a few times as she wheezed, her sobs coming steadily now.

"It's not your fault, Regan. I'm a police officer; I of all people know that these things happen. It's…" I fought to maintain my control. "Terrible and sad, but…it doesn't mean that you're a piece of…trash," I said, fighting to get the word out.

"Easier said than believed."

I was silent again as I watched her lie there in the bed, fighting tears. "If you ever need…anyone to talk to…I do understand."

"Everyone says they understand, but…they don't."

"Okay, I don't understand, but…I would listen. I know I talk a lot but…I could shut up long enough to just listen," I pointed out, smiling slightly. She looked over at me, her eyes finally wide and clear. "Just…if you ever want to talk about it."

She lifted her head up off the pillows, her piercing gaze staring into mine.

"Put yourself in my shoes. Pretend you're me. If something like that had happened to you…would you want to talk about it?" she asked in a shaky voice. Her lower lip began to tremble, and her big green eyes welled up with tears. Her head dropped back onto the pillow. My heart began to break into a million pieces as I watched tears stream down her temples, falling onto the pillowcase.

As much as I wanted to stay with her, I knew enough about Regan to know that she wouldn't want me to be here to watch her cry. I tried to stand, but something stopped me.

I was shocked when she grabbed my hand suddenly, yanking me down with as much force as she could probably muster.

"No…stay," she demanded, her voice still shaky. I looked at her in shock but quickly tried to compose my expression. Could my being around soothe her as much as it did me? I could only hope.

"O-okay," I stuttered, sitting back down on the short ottoman. She held onto my hand, still keeping her grip. I tentatively held it back, unsure of what I was supposed to do here. Regan relaxed her head on the pillow, blinking tears out of her eyes.

"Regan…"

"I don't want to be alone anymore."


	21. Chapter 21

Regan

Adults can be so aggravating sometimes.

"I'm punishing you because I care." Sue had told me in the hospital after breaking my ankle.

Uh huh…suuure!

If she cared so much then why would she punish me in the first place? I certainly didn't feel like I was being 'cared' for at my new afterschool and weekend job at the Piggly Wiggly bakery. Much to my demise, as soon as I could stand up and walk with the use of my crutches, Sue had decided that I had too much time on my hands – my recent behavior as proof. So once I returned to school I also got to start my new job as a baking assistant in the bakery where she could 'keep an eye on me'. I'll never forget the disapproving stare she gave me as she handed me the apron that reeked of flour and muffins. She said she did it because she cared; and she didn't want me to go down the wrong path in life; and she just wanted the best for me - I could hardly keep from rolling my eyes at that part. However, when she had begun her second speech I had felt worse.

"I care about you, Regan. I want to know that you're going to be okay. I'm sorry about your mom. That was a mean thing for her to do, and an adult should know better than to make a promise like that if they can't do it. That was wrong, Regan, but…that's no excuse for what you did. It could have come out much worse, and you need to realize that. You're very lucky that all you got was a broken ankle."

When she had put that guilt trip on me, I had actually felt bad. Even worse was Charlie. He hadn't said much to me about my accident or sneaking out; instead, he just looked at me with this saddened look in his big, brown eyes that made me want to hurl myself out the window again just to avoid his disappointed gaze. Just getting looks from Charlie was bad enough; I didn't even need the house arrest.

In all honestly, that was just the icing on the shit-cake that had become my life since getting caught sneaking out. Courtney and Kenz wanted absolutely nothing to do with me after I had almost gotten them in trouble. In my drug induced haze in the hospital I had told Sue who I was going out with that night, and she had called their mothers. Needless to say, they didn't exactly give me the friendliest looks anymore, and I got used to eating lunch by myself.

Claire was another story. I had only been back to school for a week and each time my eyes accidently met hers, she'd give me these looks like she wanted to simply kick my crutches out from underneath me – not that I blamed her one bit. I deserved it, and I knew it; that was the worst part about the whole mess. She had tried to be my friend and like a jerk, I had thrown it back in her face to hang out with Courtney and Kenz and some stupid guy I didn't even care about. And I had done it because I was stupid and pissed that my mom wasn't coming to visit me on my birthday. I shouldn't have been surprised; my mom never won 'mother of the year' awards before I moved to Washington, and it was silly of me to think that she would give a shit about me now. Breaking her promise to come see me for my birthday shouldn't have surprised me in the least. Instead I handled it like a moron and alienated practically everyone around me. Sue and Charlie had gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed on my birthday - hell, even Charlie's daughter that I didn't even know got me a present, and I had acted like a jerk yet again and dealt with it horribly.

I guess you could say that I sucked at life these days.

The only person in the past two weeks to even look me in the eye was Seth. I think he felt bad for me actually. I used to wonder if maybe he had had a rough childhood and did some of the things I had - snuck out, done drugs, and had sex while he was young; but then when he talked to me I would look into his deep brown, almond shaped eyes and I'd see the innocence in them - even as a man - it was astonishing sometimes. Seth didn't look like he had ever even said a harsh word in his life, much less have done half of the wild, reckless things I had committed.

So how could he give me those understanding looks? How could he not judge me? I deserved it, or at least I felt like I did. Of course Sue and Charlie were still kind to me - not that I deserved that either. But Seth…he acted like he would have been kind to me even if I had burned his house to the ground. It was strange, but yet again I was in no position to pass up a friend. I accepted his friendship, but I was still wary.

After waking up in my bedroom from coming home from the hospital, Seth had always been there. Now, that should have unsettled me. If you would have told me two months ago that I would wake up in a room with a grown man that wasn't related to me and I didn't just have sex with…I would have been a teensy bit freaked out. But…for some reason it was Seth, and I wasn't. It calmed me.

"They hate me, don't they?" I had asked him softly after his mother left. It had been the day after I came home from the hospital and Sue had informed me of my new job. Seth had come to visit me after work and brought me some gossip magazines to read.

"Her? Nah," he had insisted innocently.

I had laughed at him; it was the first time I had laughed in what felt like days. "You're too kind. You're a bad liar though."

"I know," he said, giving me a grin.

"So why are you here?"

He shrugged, plopping down on the ottoman that had been dragged into my room from Sue and Charlie's. It groaned under his weight. "I just thought I'd stop by. I might stay for dinner, and I figured you'd be bored. Mom said you can't go back to school til next week, and…and well I just thought I'd look out for ya. Don't want you falling out of any windows…"

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Most likely….no. But it will make for a good story."

"The story of what?" I snorted. "How big of an idiot I am for falling out of a window?"

"Maybe a scar?"

"Nothing broke the skin."

"Oh. Rats. You're right, it's lame," he laughed, ducking his head. I had watched him laugh at me and I had actually joined him. It felt good to actually talk to someone who wasn't angry with me.

"Do you hate me?" I had finally asked him, looking over. I winced inwardly when I realized what a hot mess I must look like; I hadn't showered in a day and a half, and my hair was lying in unruly waves. I had no makeup on, and the pain medication had made my face a little swollen and puffy.

"Why would I?"

"I don't know. For hurting your mom like that. I think I really hurt her….I feel awful."

He glanced over his shoulder at the open door. "She knows you're sorry. You just….got mixed up with the wrong crowd. It happens to everyone."

"Did it ever happen to you?"

Seth pressed his lips together, his dark, Native eyes staring back at me. "I stopped going to public school when I was fifteen, so I really didn't have a chance to. But I'm sure I could have," he added quickly, as if his possible teenage delinquency added to my relief.

"But you didn't. I did. I hurt a lot of people Seth. They all probably hate me. I can't wait to find out," I added sarcastically, wincing as I shifted on the bed.

"No…I could never hate you, Regan," he had added. He flashed a shy smile at me, and I felt my heart speed up. "Not even close."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

It was mid-November now and getting very cold. Crutches sucked in general, but using them when it was cold really sucked; the handles got cold and in turn chapped your hands and using them on the ice was a real treat too. "I can't wait for it to snow," I grumbled to myself that Friday morning as I hobbled up the long steps into Forks High. I slowly made my way to my locker…everyone grumbling as they passed my snail-like pace in the crowded hallway. Once I made it there I avoided looking ahead twenty feet or so to where I knew Claire was already at her locker for the morning. I had been meaning to say something to her - Seth had mentioned that she came to see me at the hospital; however, the frosty gazes she has been giving me lately weren't exactly an invite to make polite conversation.

What I really needed to say to her was 'Hi Claire. My name is Regan, and I'm a big jerk.' Now I just needed to get up the guts to actually say it.

Today was not that day. I had gotten a late start to school and moving on crutches didn't exactly do much to help that. As I gathered my books, I slammed my locker door shut just in time to watch one of my crutches slide to the floor. Awesome.

I hobbled slightly; my sense of balance wasn't quite what it should be yet due to only a few short weeks with a huge, bulky cast. I bent down carefully only to slide on some melted ice on the floor and slam into the ground.

"Awesome," I grumbled. I cringed when I heard the familiar sound of heels clicking down the hallway in my direction. Claire had closed her locker and was walking my way. Crap. Would she help me?

I looked up just in time to see her meet my gaze from the floor. Daintily she stepped over my crutches that were now both strewn across the floor, her smart looking black heeled boots making a clanging sound against the beige floor tiles. I gaped at her from the ground, and she turned her head and looked straight ahead…and kept walking.

"I deserved that," I muttered to myself. And I did. It just sucked.

I gimped my way through the day trying to avoid the looks of my classmates as I continued to move at a turtle-like pace through the hallways. I could hear their frustrated sighs and grunts when they were trapped behind me in the hall between classes but there was nothing I could do. By the time I got to lunch I felt like crying.

Kenz and Courtney had let me 'have' our usual lunch table after that night. I had fallen nearly two weeks ago, and I had eaten lunch by myself every day since then after they had retreated to the other side of the room to eat. I sat at the table in front of the windows alone, staring out into the icy rain. Amazingly enough I couldn't wait to get home.

I was even more disappointed that night when Seth didn't show up for dinner; Charlie gruffly explained that he had to work late tonight. They were hoping to catch the two people who had been vandalizing the local businesses in town as they usually struck on the weekends. When I asked where he was, I thought Sue's eyebrows were going to rise so high that they would shoot all the way off her forehead.

"You open tomorrow with Marge," Sue said, clearing the dishes off the tiny kitchen table. I groaned, sighing heavily.

"You brought this on yourself. Besides…a part-time job will look good on college applications."

"I don't even know if I want to go to college."

Sue stopped, dropping the plates in the sink. "Of course you do, Regan. College is a wonderful opportunity, especially for a girl like you."

"Troubled?" I retorted sarcastically. Sue huffed slightly, turning around to rest against the kitchen counter.

"No, Regan. Smart. You are a smart girl."

"Who falls out of windows," I grumbled, standing up. My chair fell back against the windowsill in the alcove where the tiny table sat, but I ignored it, hobbling past Sue and going up the steps.

I'd had enough fun for one day.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"God damn it," I cursed, fumbling with the keys to the bakery the next morning. It was Saturday morning - 5:03 AM; and I was already late for work at that ungodly hour. There was nothing worse than getting up on a Saturday morning to go to work. The thing that made it awful though was the fact that it was still dark. My breath came out in little puffs of white clouds in the freezing November air as I struggled to hold onto my purse, stand on my crutches without falling on the ice, and get the right key to unlock the door. Marge, the woman I worked with on Saturday mornings, was already inside and baking, but I knew from the previous two weeks of work that she was inside making the dough with her radio turned up too loud to hear me banging on the door.

I didn't actually mind working at the bakery as much as I thought I did. I was learning how to actually cook - a skill I never thought I'd have; and it was nice to have a little bit of extra money. Granted I never went anywhere or did anything, but it never hurt to have a little stash for emergencies.

"Come on," I muttered to myself, still messing around with the keys trying to select the right one, all while holding my balance on the slippery, ice pavement behind the Piggly Wiggly where the bakery was located.

"Need help?"

The keys fell to the ice with a loud clank, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Gosh Seth, don't scare me like that!" I gasped, holding my hand to my chest in shock. His eyes widened slightly, but I laughed and shook my head. "It's okay…I'm okay," I mumbled, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

"Sorry," he said, bending down to pick up the keys. He opened the door after quickly picking the right key and held it open for me to hobble through. Oldies music blasted through the radio speakers towards the front of the shop, and I rolled my eyes as I made my way inside to drop my coat and purse.

"You sure can sneak up on someone," I laughed, shaking my head at him. "You're like a freaking ninja. "

"Thanks?" he laughed, cocking his head to the side.

"You're going to give me a heart attack."

Seth grinned, jamming his hands in his pockets like a little kid would. The way he grinned and shrugged at me reminded me of a little boy that had just been told he was cute; however, his tall, muscular body clothed in a police uniform reminded me otherwise. Today he wore black boots, black cargo pants, and another black Forks Police department t-shirt. His badge hung off his belt, along with his gun and handcuffs.

"You want coffee?" I asked, motioning to the coffee pot brewing in the corner.

"Ever hear of a cop that didn't?"

I snickered easily as I poured him a cup, pouring myself one too. I saw him sniff the air, and I had to laugh. "I'm sure Marge has some muffins cooling too," I giggled, motioning for him. He took my coffee from me so that I could gimp my way to where the ovens were. I looked at him as I carefully navigated the slippery looking tile floor of the bakery, and he smiled warmly at me. Even though it was technically too early for me to be smiling about anything, I lightened the scowl on my face and tried to look pleasant.

"Already? Sheesh," he chuckled, following me further back into the bakery section of the store.

"Didn't you work last night too?" I asked, motioning to his uniform.

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"Oh, Sue said you were at work last night. That's why you didn't come to dinner."

He stopped. "You wanted me to?"

I shrugged, walking up to the racks where a batch of white chocolate cranberry muffins was cooling. I had thought long and hard about Seth. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I was drawn to him; I wasn't sure how and why…but I wanted to know the reason for it. Claire's words about Quil rang in my ears, "We're just friends," she had said. "It's not weird because we chose not to make it weird." Could I be friends with Seth without having it be weird? As I watched him look at me, I decided then and there that I was tired of trying to avoid a friendship with Seth. And, as usual, I could not afford to be picky about friends right now. That really was starting to be a trend for me.

"You're just always there. I just…wondered where you were."

Lame save, Regan.

"Oh…" he said, raising his eyebrows like his mother did.

He looked so much like Sue sometimes…

"I can be there next week," he said hopefully, accepting the still warm pastry I handed to him. I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

"It's no big deal. I just…wondered," I said with a shrug, sipping my coffee.

I really didn't want him to know that I had missed him - that felt weird - but ever since the accident and I awoke from drug induced sleep to see him there, something had changed between us. I couldn't deny that his presence in my room was comforting that day. I remember waking up in the hospital alone once in the middle of the night, and I had never felt more alone in my life than I did at that moment. Then Seth had shown up just minutes later. I had pretended to be asleep when he came back reeking of coffee to sit beside my bed. As weird as it was, Seth was slowly becoming my friend. Even though he was much older than me, there were so many things about him that were young. He could be serious and professional, of course, but most of the time he reminded me of…well, someone my age or a little older.

"Did you miss me?" he teased, sipping his coffee. His brown eyes glittered, and I rolled my eyes.

"Um, sure. Believe what you want," I muttered, cracking a grin. He smiled back, shaking his head at me.

"Thanks for getting the door, these crutches suck."

"No problem. It was worth it to get a muffin."

"I'm sure."

"No really. Unless I got to my mom's house I never get real food."

"You can't cook?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. I pretend. I can make mac and cheese with hotdogs."

"Gross."

"Nah, it's filling. But this is nice too," he laughed, finishing his muffin. "What were you up to last night…besides missing me?"

I made a face, pretending to be in disgust over his friendly banter.

I shook my head and began to organize all of the bakery racks I would have to sanitize and wipe down that morning. "Just…basking in my awesomeness, I suppose."

"Sounds like fun," he said sarcastically, leaning back against the wall. I shrugged, placing my apron over my head.

"Not much I can do about it I guess."

"Why don't you call Claire tonight? I'm sure she'd love to go…disco bowling… or shopping for purses…or some other…'Claire'-ish activity."

I paused, looking up at him. "She hates me."

Seth's shoulder drooped. "No, she doesn't."

"I'm sure she does."

"Just…talk to her. I'm sure she'll come around."

"You don't know what I did to her, Seth. I…I don't think she'll come around anytime soon. She pretty much hates me."

Seth sighed, biting the Styrofoam cup he held in his hands lightly. He chewed on it while he looked pensively off into the distance.

"Well…just tell her you're sorry. Claire's sensible. She'd respect that."

I paused, tying the apron around my waist. "Why do you care?" I challenged suddenly. Seth's eyes darted up to meet mine, and he opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"I just…feel bad that you're unhappy," he finally said quickly, avoiding my gaze. Awkwardness settled over us, and I cringed inwardly. Seth suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"I should get going," he said, finishing his coffee. Well this is abrupt, I thought. He tossed the cup in trash and looked at me, jamming his hands back into his pockets. "Thanks for the muffin. I'll see ya later."

And then he was gone. I frowned, thinking back to what I could have said that would have scared him that bad.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I worked all day on Saturday cleaning racks and adding ingredients to the giant mixer in the back of the bakery. I came home that night reeking like flour and muffin mix. And to my chagrin, Sunday had to be dedicated to homework. I didn't see Seth again that weekend after our awkward morning in the bakery. I still couldn't figure out why he had suddenly bolted like that – were we not supposed to be friends? Of course it was hard for me to be his friend when he was still quite Adonis-looking; however, I was willing to make an exception. It was nice to talk to someone who hadn't grounded me or who hated my guts. Seth was the only person I had to turn to at the moment. When I didn't see him for the rest of the weekend I felt sad…almost jilted.

By Monday morning I decided that Seth was right: I had to talk to Claire. Courtney and Kenz hated me - not that I really cared that much; but Claire I actually missed. She wasn't really all that sweet or nice to me, but she was real, and I appreciated that. There were no pretenses with Claire; she was just Claire.

I had requested an earlier ride to school that day, and this time it was Charlie that had obliged me. He had dropped me off fifteen minutes earlier than my usual time just so that I could make it to my locker before Claire grabbed her books and left. I stood in front of my locker pretending to fiddle with the odds and ends jammed in it, rehearsing what I would say to her when I got the chance to talk - if she would even let me. I was feeling fairly confident until I saw her coming down the hall. Her brown eyes avoided mine until she was at her own locker just twenty feet from mine.

I hobbled towards her, and I could sense that she was trying not to look at me. "Can we talk?" I asked, trying not to let my fear show. She didn't stop gathering her books; she acted like she didn't even hear me.

"I know you hear me, Claire. Listen…just…can we talk? Please?"

She slammed her locker shut making me jump and grip the handles of my crutches.

"And just why would I want to do that?"

Her tone was cold and hard. I silently cursed Seth for making me think I could actually talk to Claire.

"I…I…" I stuttered. Her brown eyes narrowed, and I almost lost my mind I was shaking so badly. How on earth could this girl look so intimidating?

"No, you know what? I get to ask the questions. In fact, I just have one. If you didn't want to be friends why didn't you just say so?"

Her words were so deserved that they cut me like a knife. I recoiled, my mouth falling open. "I…I never said I don't want to be friends, Claire."

"That's funny, Regan, because actions speak louder than words. You could have just told me that you weren't interested in my friendship from the start. You didn't have to lie."

I looked down at my feet. "I know I lied. And I deserve for you to be angry with me," I admitted.

"I'm not angry with you. In fact, I could care less about you," she replied, and picked up her book bag. "I invited you out on your birthday to do something that I thought would be fun. But instead, you chose to hang out with tweedle dee and tweedle dumber and you broke your stupid ankle. You got what you deserved, in my opinion. I know that's mean, but…whatever," she said, turning around. I watched her walk away, and I don't think I had ever felt worse.

I drifted through the rest of the day. It was like walking through a dense fog at night. I could see things happening around me - people in the hallways; my teachers talking to me; annoyed looks from hobbling too slow - but it was all a blur. It was like I could have cared less about anything.

When Seth came over for dinner that night, not even his normal smiley face could make me feel an ounce better. I felt like shit…and I wanted to. I deserved it. All I could see was Claire's hurt face in front of my eyes.

"I take it things didn't go too well?" Seth asked after the four of us ate.

"No," I said softly, handing him another dish to dry. As part of my punishment, I was also on dishes duty. Sue had gotten a tall stool to sit in front of the kitchen sink for me, and I was parked at it after every meal, every day. Seth was at least kind enough to help me with my sentence tonight by drying the plates as I finished them.

"I'm sorry, Reg," he said, shaking his head. He chewed his lip thoughtfully as he dried the plate I had handed him.

"What did you just call me?" I asked, looking up at him with a smirk. He had given me a new nickname that sounded like 'Redge'.

"Oh…Regan," he corrected himself. "Sorry, I don't know why I did that."

"No, it's okay. It's what my mom used to call me."

His face instantly got this panicky look, and I almost laughed. "It's okay. I'm not mad. It's fine."

"Sorry," he added in for good measure before accepting another dish. I had to laugh at him. He was so much like a little kid sometimes that I thought he was twenty-something going on seven. Seth certainly didn't look like a seven-year-old though; he had his black, button downed police uniform shirt on, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The fabric looked like it was going to burst open from being so tightly rolled around his sinewy forearms.

"It's okay, Seth," I murmured, scrubbing extra hard at the baking pan. It was low and quick, but I heard him suck in a breath of air when I said his name.

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," he stammered, pushing his sleeves up further.

"Do you have to go back to work after this?" I asked, changing the subject.

He nodded. "I do, yeah."

I looked over at him, glancing at the shiny badge as it caught the light above the sink. It was hard to imagine him being a cop…writing people tickets, arresting people…

My mind immediately flashed to the clips of cop shows I had seen on TV where the cop had to chase a big, scary looking man down a dark alley…I shuddered. I didn't like to think about someone hurting Seth even though he didn't look like he could be hurt easily. His tall, muscular body was lean and solid looking despite his boyish face and constant yet endearing shit-eating grin he always wore. I knew I would never want to make him angry even though I got the feeling that he never actually did get angry.

"What?" he asked, placing a plate carefully on the countertop. I shook my head, reaching for another dish hiding in the soapy water.

"Nothing, I just…have a hard time picturing you as a cop."

"What, the badge and gun don't prove it?" He chuckled. I looked up at him, shaking my head.

"You never get angry enough to look like a cop. Cops should be stern and gruff and…well, like Charlie."

He snickered, glancing over his shoulder at Charlie who was in the living room. He had the recliner back as far as it would go, and he was glaring over the newspaper at whatever was on the TV.

I giggled, turning my attention back to the dishes. "Yeah. Definitely like Charlie."

"I can be stern," he insisted, sounding more like a kicked puppy than an indignant cop.

"Suuuure," I said, fishing at the bottom of the sink for the silverware. He made a strange face while he dried the cups.

"I can get angry; I just…don't most of the time."

"I'd like to see that."

"No, you wouldn't," he said quietly. He gave me a tight lipped smile as he dried.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "You're usually in a good mood when it comes to work," I pointed out.

"Oh, I am. I love my job most days. It's kinda a personal vendetta tonight though. I want to catch those little jerks."

"Ah…the spray painting vandals."

"You remember?" he asked brightly, looking over at me. I nodded, boldly jutting out my arm to hit elbows with him.

"Of course. You won't shut up about it at dinner. I'm not deaf," I said, shaking my head. He chuckled heartily, flashing his white teeth at me. God they were so straight, and white, and…he's got a great smile. I think if I looked up 'smiley' in the dictionary there would be a picture of Seth…and maybe another one under abdominal muscles… My thoughts instantly took a not so friend-ish turn as I thought about the brief picture of shirtless Seth that I had from the night he and Charlie had cleaned fish in the backyard. I still privately maintained that he had the abdominal muscles that would make an Abercrombie model want to cry. My cheeks reddened, and I looked away.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pausing. I inhaled at the wrong moment, catching a brief whiff of his sandalwood, pleasantly spiced, freshly-rained on woodland scent. I felt my heart start to pound in my chest.

"Nothing, why?"

"Your cheeks got all red," he pointed out, frowning slightly. Once again, he reminded me of a small child that unabashedly points something embarrassing out to his mother in a loud voice, smack dab in the middle of the grocery store. I reached a hand out of the dishwater, touching my hot face.

We're not doing anything wrong. We're in Sue and Charlie's kitchen, just washing the damn dishes, I thought.

"Yeah, uh…it's hot in here. We're done anyway," I said, turning to hop off my stool. A puddle of dishwater was on the floor below me, and I, of course, caught it with my foot.

"AH!" I yelped, feeling myself fall. I closed my eyes, wincing as I prepared myself to hit the ground, but…I never did. Instead, two slightly wet, warm hands grabbed my arm and held me suspended above the floor before I could topple onto the linoleum.

"Whoa!" Seth gasped. His hand gently gripped mine, and I slowly opened my eyes that I had squeezed shut in preparation for my fall. He moved one hand under my other arm, pulling me easily and effortlessly up into a standing position. I sucked in a breath, looking down at the floor that had been calling my name a few seconds ago, and then up at him. How had his hands moved so fast? One minute he was standing right next to me drying dishes, the next I was in his arms. Wait, I was still in his arms…

"Sorry," he said, dropping his hands away from my body once I was steadied. I wobbled as I tried to stand on one foot while keeping my bulky, plaster cast up off the wet floor. His hands immediately shot out to rest on my waist steadying me. My own hands rested on his forearms, gripping them in fear that I would go crashing to the floor for real this time.

"T-thanks," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up. His hands were hot on my waist, and I could feel the heat of his hands on the little spaces between the top of my yoga pants and where my t-shirt had ridden up. Looking up, my throat got even tighter as I realized that his dark brown eyes were focused on my face. My heart began to flutter mercilessly in my chest as I gripped his coppery, muscled forearms. I felt my breath catch in my throat on the most pleasant way; I felt like I was drowning, but I was drowning in him. The way his warmth felt against my skin made time freeze; all the cold I had been through in the past few months slowly melted away, leaving me standing there in the kitchen like a big, melted puddle.

I felt like I was being sucked into an oblivion that I honestly didn't mind as I stared up at his round, innocent looking face. His dark eyes became pools of liquid dark chocolate and I watched as they continued to grow bigger and bigger with each passing moment. I stared at him for what felt like hours but was really a few minutes. His skin sizzled pleasantly against mine. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt goose bumps rising up on the surface of my skin. We were standing close enough to each other that his masculine, soothing scent swirled all around me, coating my senses like forbidden drug. But being with Seth like this was better than any aphrodisiac.

We were both completely engrossed in staring at each other in the middle of the kitchen that neither of us realized Sue standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" she seemed to hiss, startling both of us. I went tumbling out of my imaginary world that I had temporarily taken a haven in. It was a world where it was okay to like the feeling of his skin against mine…to think his smile was utterly gorgeous…and to feel nervous but excited butterflies when I heard his truck rumbling up the driveway. But it wasn't. I was here, in this world. A world where I was newly seventeen; and he was so much older that the number of years between us didn't matter. It couldn't matter because it was wrong.

But if felt right.


	22. Chapter 22

Regan

Things got weird after our incident in the kitchen.

We had broken apart immediately when Sue came in, both of our faces red with embarrassment. Seth didn't look at me again for the rest of the short time he was there. But it wasn't like it mattered since I wouldn't look at him either; I had left the kitchen shortly after and retreated to the living room to sit with Charlie.

"Dishes done?" he grunted. I nodded, feeling like he was staring at me.

"Yes, they're done," I managed to choke out, settling down into the end of the couch. I propped my chin up on my hand, staring blankly at the TV. My heart pounded in my ears as I listened to Seth and Sue in the kitchen. She was still hissing something that resembled a speech at him. I wasn't sure what that was about.

He came into the living room a few minutes later, following his mother, looking more like the familiar kicked puppy than anything. It was almost humorous to me how he followed his mom into the room. She was somewhat tall, but Sue was not a large woman; he towered above her by easily a foot and outweighed her by a hundred pounds or so, yet he still had an expression on his face like he had just gotten his ass verbally handed to him. The leather chair in the corner sighed as he plopped his weight into it, avoiding my eyes. Sue sat on the couch next to me, giving me a tight smile.

I waited almost a full ten minutes to look at him after that, and I'll never forget it. That was the first time I ever saw Seth Clearwater look angry. His face was tight and drawn; his jaw clenched; his black eyes stared at the television, oblivious to my gaze - or so I thought. His eyes flicked to mine, and his face instantly softened; I wanted to hug him.

I had been encased in a feeling of cold since arriving in Forks without realizing it. It was both metaphorical and literal. I felt colder than I ever had in my life here…all alone. But tonight, in the kitchen with Seth's hands on my body…I finally felt something other than cold, miserably iciness; I felt warm, like the sun was shining down on me. I didn't understand it, but I knew that I wanted to feel that way again.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

It was the Monday before Thanksgiving finally. A promising five day weekend loomed in front of me; in Forks, we had Wednesday through Sunday off, and I couldn't be more pleased at the thought of time away from school, lolling around my room, in my pajamas. I had tried to finish all my homework the weekend before, wanting to do nothing but relax on my long weekend away from school. As much as I hated Kenz and Courtney, they were at least someone to talk to. Their chatter had been meaningless and stupid, but at least it had been noise to listen to at lunch. Now I mainly just sat and stared at my food. I had dropped weight, but I was too depressed to even really care. Normally my curvy butt would have been jumping for joy, but these days…I just didn't care. Honestly, the kids in Forks weren't exactly mean; people still spoke to me and acted polite. But I still ate lunch alone. I walked to class alone. I was the last to be chosen when we worked on group projects, and I realized that on certain days I could go the entire span of the day without speaking – to anyone. The night I realized that I had gone all day without interacting with a single human being made me hit rock bottom; I cried myself to sleep for days after that.

School became daunting, so it was apparent why I was looking forward to being away from it for so long - yes, Thanksgiving break would be a welcome one.

I realized with a grimace that it was so quiet at my lunch table that I could hear the bubbles fizzing in my open can of soda. My vegetable soup looked utterly unappealing, so I chose to prop up my plaster cast on the chair next to me and stare out at the rain while I pretended to eat. Seth hadn't been to my house in days…I wondered briefly if he had eaten anything but mac and cheese with hotdogs since that night in the kitchen. I pressed my lips together and let my mind show me a flash of the memory that I clung so desperately to; the feeling of warmth in the kitchen, with his hands secured on my waist, holding me up from falling…

I didn't even realize that someone had approached my table until I heard her speak.

"Could you look any more like a Debbie Downer?"

My head jerked up at the sound of Claire's voice. She tossed her aqua colored lunch tray down on the table with a clatter. Several students looked over at us before returning their attention to their food. I sat up, my eyes wide and looked at her.

"W-What?" I asked, my stomach flip flopping. Was she coming over to publicly humiliate me even more?

"You look like someone punched your grandma," she muttered, plopping down next to me on the chair. I sat up, placing both feet squarely on the ground; perhaps that would make me feel less sick.

"No one…punched my grandma," I muttered, tucking some hair behind my ears. She snorted, opening her soda with a loud crack.

"Sure seems like it. Staring at the rain for entertainment now?"

"You get used to eating alone," I mumbled, playing with the spoon as it floated in my vegetable soup.

"Oh stop it," she snapped, tossing a long curl over her shoulder. Her black hair hung in long curls today, the sides swept up neatly into matching barrettes; even in the nasty, rainy weather, she managed to make looking flawless completely doable. I looked down at my soup, feeling two inches tall.

"Whatever," I mumbled. She looked over at me, completely annoyed. "Regan…you sit over here every day looking completely pathetic and miserable…what did you expect me to say?"

I thought for a moment and then spoke. "Well honestly Claire, I never thought we were ever going to speak again, so anything is pretty much an improvement."

She sniffed, not saying anything for once. I followed her eyes across the cafeteria to where Kenz and Courtney sat together, hunched over their lettuce salads and diet Cokes, scowling at nothing in particular.

"Friends dropped you awful fast," she noted. She sounded miffed.

"Yeah, seems to be my luck with everything lately."

That caught her attention. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "They won't talk to me. You won't talk to me. Seth won't talk to me...I'm on a roll. Who else can I get to totally hate me?" I asked flatly, taking a sip of my soda.

Claire made a 'tsk'-ing noise in the back of her throat and tossed her hair again. "I only hated you for a second. And that was when I realized you ditched me for those two slut-faces."

I looked up from my soda. "You mean you don't hate me now?"

"Only a little. I…I was just upset when I saw you in the hospital."

"I wondered where those daisies went. Did you put them through a blender?"

"No," she said, looking down at her tray. She didn't say anything for a moment, which made me nervous.

"Why are you over here? I mean, it's obvious that even if you don't h-hate me…you don't like me."

"You're right," she said matter of factly. "But I felt sorry for you."

"That's even better," I snorted sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant. I…I can't stand looking at you over here by yourself every day…sulking."

"You're honestly not making me feel any better."

"I don't really care, Regan. I didn't come over here to tell you that acting like a shitty person is an okay thing to do. It's not."

"And you're so perfect?" I countered.

She nodded, shrugging one shoulder. "No, I didn't say that – don't put words in my mouth. I'm just saying that you can't go through life doing dumb things and making half-assed excuses for them. I mean…I don't care if you don't want to be friends with me, but at least act like you're seventeen and not in sixth grade. Lying to go hang out with the popular girls? Really?"

I sunk a little lower in my plastic chair. "I said I was sorry," I muttered, scowling down at my tray.

She made another noise in the back of her throat. "I just wanted to point out that you acted like an idiot."

"I have a rather bulky reminder for the next nine weeks, thank you very much," I said, pointing to my cast. She looked un-amused.

"I dunno Regan, I just…I thought we were going to be friends. I was really sad when you chose those skankoids over me. I mean…they said something about meeting up with a guy who worked at a gas station for shit's sake!"

I looked over at Claire in shock. "How did you know that?"

"They showed up at the hospital the day after you got hurt. They felt like they had to come they said. They felt bad. I told them they should! I asked them why you were sneaking out and…and they told me. I beat Courtney's stupid car with your stupid flowers," she huffed, crossing her arms.

""You…you did?" I asked, choking back a laugh. She nodded, a grin escaping her solemn expression.

"I was pissed. I feel bad because that's probably a big reason why they won't look at you…sorry," she said, although she didn't sound it. I bit back a giggle rather unsuccessfully.

"So you're the whole reason they're not speaking to me? Great," I laughed. "Oh well…no major loss."

Claire turned to look at me. "You ditch me to go get drunk with some random guy from a gas station? You probably would have sat in his basement and smoked his ditch weed, drinking cheap wine coolers and cheap vodka. Come on, Regan, don't be so dumb."

I stopped laughing, not because I was offended, but because she was right. What had I been thinking?

"I'm sorry, Claire," I said quietly, looking up at her. She nodded.

"I know."

And just like that…I had a friend again. I felt like I had paid my dues for doing what I had done on my birthday, and now I was being released from jail. I had done my time, and now I was free to live again. Things slowly fell back into place after that day. Claire and I ate lunch together every day for the rest of the week at my table, talking, making sarcastic comments, and generally enjoying each other's company. Even though she had acted so mean after my accident, I slowly realized that that was just Claire. I learned that that was her way of protecting herself, almost like a defense mechanism. Her hard, sassy exterior was actually a cover for a very passionate, caring person. She rarely let it show, but she was actually quite…sweet.

"So…Friday night is a bonfire in La Push, and this is the first year my mom is actually letting Quil keep me out past eight o clock…do you want to come?" she asked me at lunch the next day. It was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break and excitement for the holiday was in the air.

I paused, unsure if my sentence of torture via Sue had been lifted just yet. "I don't know…I might still be grounded," I said honestly. Claire looked at me skeptically, and I held up my hands.

"I promise. She got me out of work this weekend, but a bonfire - actual fun- might be pushing it. I can ask, but…chances are my ass will be holding down the couch with Charlie."

"Ugh, talk about depressing," Claire mused, making a face. "Well, I'll see what I can do."

"You do realize that I'm not actually petitioning for parole here, right? I mean, I'm really grounded. Like…really grounded," I said flatly. The way she spoke, she acted like it was debatable, when I knew perfectly well that it wasn't. I was shackled to that stupid white house whether I like it or not.

"We'll see," she said in a challenging voice that actually gave me goose bumps.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, I was awakened by a familiar yet lately missing sound - Seth's Bronco, rolling up the driveway. He cut the engine, and I heard him jump out and take the front porch steps in the usual two bounds. I realized with sheer glee that it was Thanksgiving vacation, and I wouldn't have to go to school for five whole days.

I threw on some jeans and a long sleeved, fitted black shirt. As lazy as I was feeling, I did keep in mind that Seth was downstairs so I added a colorful scarf and some makeup to the equation that day. When I was happy, I tousled my hair and pinned up the sides, satisfied with my look for my relaxing first day off.

I found Sue already in the kitchen making waffles on her waffle iron. Seth was pacing behind her, using his height to peek over her shoulder at the batter as it seeped out of the sizzling contraption used to make her famous, fluffy Belgian style waffles. I watched as his head jerked up, his eyes finding me. I frowned. It was almost as if he had…smelled me before he had seen me.

"Hey," he said, greeting me warmly. His entire face lit up, and it was useless to try not to smile back.

"Hi," I said shyly, shuffling over to the coffee pot. Sue didn't look at me.

I almost dropped the coffee pot when she spoke. "You have an intriguing little lawyer fighting your battles for you," she said sternly. I looked up with an expression of sheer panic at Seth who looked puzzled as Sue continued to stir the batter in her bowl.

"Claire will make a great defense attorney someday. You can go to the bonfire Friday night. She said Quil was taking you, and you could stay at her house afterward. Mrs. Young is expecting you girls home at eleven sharp," she finally said, cracking a sideways smile. I grinned in satisfaction, realizing that I would have Claire to thank later for my freedom. Seth grinned in his dopey fashion, chewing on a piece of fruit as he watched his mom talk.

"Are you going?" I asked, sipping the black coffee. He nodded.

"Burgers and brats on the beach…heck yes!" he said through the food. Sue smacked him on the back of the arm, and I had to laugh.

"Sorry," he choked, covering his mouth. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window at the lightly, cloudy day. We were going to pick Seth's sister Leah up at the airport today, and I was nervous but excited to meet her. Sue talked about her all the time, and I was very curious about her.

"Maybe we can cook you some veggie burgers, Regan," he offered, and I laughed as I took another sip of coffee. He peered over his mother's shoulder yet again, a strand of his spiky, slightly disheveled hair falling down onto his tan forehead. He wore brown boots, a pair of jeans with rips in the knees, and a black fleece pullover. It was strange to see him in normal clothes; I almost always saw him in police gear.

"That's okay. I'll make due," I said quietly, sitting down at the table. When the first waffle was done, Sue put it on a plate and set it on the table. I watched Seth look at it longingly, but when my eyes met his, he seemed to forget all about the waffle.

"You can take it," I offered, recognizing the hungry look in his almond shaped eyes. He shook his head slowly, pushing the plate towards me.

"Nah, I've already had two. Go for it," he insisted. I stabbed it with my fork, placing it on my plate. Sue stopped mixing and looked over her shoulder at him, and I didn't miss their exchange. His eyes dropped to the ground, and she slowly turned back to what she was doing as Charlie walked in.

"You excited to see Leah?" he asked, putting his hands on Sue's shoulders. She nodded excitedly, grinning at him.

"I am. I have so much to show her…Alice left all those samples for her to look at."

"Oh, Alice is coming on Saturday," Seth chimed in, looking up at his mom. "She just called last night…said something about dress fittings."

"Oh, okay?" She asked, giving him a confused look. Seth gave her a pointed glance, and she seemed to let it drop.

I wasn't sure what that was about, but I was content to see Alice again to thank her and the rest of her family for my boots. I also wanted to see her again for my own personal satisfaction…I just wasn't sure why.

We all piled into Seth's Bronco after breakfast, and I was secretly glad as I gripped my to-go coffee cup I had managed to grab. The Bronco was big, loud, and horrific looking; but…it smelled like Seth. I hadn't been in it since the day he picked me up from school several weeks earlier, and I was relieved to know that it smelled exactly the same…maybe even better. He drove slowly up the winding roads to Port Angeles where the tiny airport was, taking the corners slowly as the truck rumbled on. It had begun to rain as soon as we left the house; the air was now cold enough that the rain hung to the trees, making tiny icicles form on the millions of branches that lined the roads. Charlie sat in the front with him, making brief little comments about the weather or the ocean here and there. Sue sat next to me in the backseat, bouncing her leg nervously. She was excited to see Leah again, I could tell.

I knew when Leah stepped off the plane because Sue shrieked with joy and clasped her hands together. I had also seen her high school pictures hanging in the upstairs hallway; however, the girl that stepped off the tiny plane and through the airport doors was not the same girl that I had seen in the pictures scattered around Sue's house. No, that girl was sullen. She had short, jaggedly cut black hair, a thin, almost slightly sallow looking face in the pictures; that Leah looked serious, almost…disappointed and brooding. Her dark brown eyes had reminded me of Seth's, but hers were quiet and flat, not happy and sparkling like his; however, that had been the girl in the pictures.

The woman that breezed through the airport doors wasn't anything like the sullen looking teenager I had seen.

Her long, lean legs carried her across the distance between us with such grace that it reminded me of the way Alice Cullen had moved; it was like you could have hurled a dozen tennis balls at both of them and they would have gracefully avoided them without spilling their coffee. Leah moved like that. She wore high heeled boots, dark, straight jeans, and a fuzzy white sweater that hung off her coppery shoulder. A belt was cinched snugly around her waist, showing off her trim figure and long, gazelle like body. The white color made her beautiful skin glow such a beautiful color that it almost hurt to look at her…it was so perfect. Her face was rounder, fuller; but it looked healthier than the pictures of her. Leah's cheeks were a bright pink from the icy wind that blew outside the doors, but as soon as she was inside it didn't even look like she had noticed the rain. Her black hair was longer now; it hung down past her shoulders in a sleek cut, certain pieces around her face curled in a stylish way.

Leah was absolutely gorgeous.

"Mom," she breathed, embracing Sue. She had to lean down to hug her, and even Charlie. Seth was next, embracing his sister tightly. Leah looked small only next to Seth; she had to be almost six feet tall, not even counting the boots. He thumped her on the back as he hugged her, but she didn't seem to mind as she squeezed him back.

"Hi, little brother," she said, beaming at him. Happiness radiated from her as she pulled away and followed Seth's' somewhat expectant gaze…to me.

Leah turned, her exuberant brown eyes falling on me as I stood there, taking her in. "So…" she said, her smile fading. "You must be the girl that's taking my place and driving my mom crazy."

Silence fell over our small group as we stood in the terminal, people moving all around us. I froze, opening my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her dark, almond shaped eyes were suddenly serious as she watched me, and my mind suddenly went blank under her gaze.

"Kidding!" she finally burst out, darting towards me with her arms open. She embraced me as tightly as the others, her body shaking with laughter as she hugged me. I slowly hugged her back, slightly weirded out that a complete stranger was already hugging me this way. Her slender, strong arms enveloped me easily, holding me to her. I realized in the split second that I thought to breathe that she smelled like a feminine version of Seth - fresh, woodsy, but pleasant all at the same time; her scent was very interesting, and it intrigued me.

She pulled away, tucking a strand of her sleek, black hair behind her ears. Her smile was wide and warm, exposing her rows of bright, white teeth.

"Staying out of trouble?" she asked, raising one perfect black eyebrow at me. Her eyes went down to my cast as I awkwardly leaned on my crutches. I gave her a helpless look, and she smiled. "I'm sure there's a story for that. You are just what Charlie needs to keep him in line! Right, Charlie?"

Charlie grunted somewhere in the background, and she began to calmly answer all of Sue's questions in her smooth but slightly husky voice. The pleasant tones of her talking kept me entertained the entire way back to Forks as she talked about the wedding, her life in Seattle, and how nice it was to be back home.

I liked Leah. She was friendly, but clearly very no-nonsense about everything. I could tell she was the type of woman I would like. I briefly wondered how old she was, as she didn't appear to look a day over twenty-five or twenty-six herself.

"Nice to see you keeping busy up there, Lee," Seth chuckled from the front seat as he drove slowly down the icy roads. The icy rain had turned to full on sleet, and it thickly covered every surface as we made our way back to Forks. I dreaded making my way up the stairs of Charlie's house without my stupid crutches – today was bound to be a real treat.

"Scott was really sorry he couldn't come…but you know how it is with a new job. He was glad to get it, so he knew that working a holiday would give him some brownie points," she chuckled. "But he didn't really have a choice."

"Will we see him at Christmas?" Seth asked hopefully. Leah shook her head.

"Nah, I have to get used to a few holidays without him. He'll be around in a few years when he can finally get his head above water. Work is keeping him so busy that I'm hoping we can even go on a honeymoon," she said as we drove.

I didn't miss Seth's expression in the rearview mirror. "Well, I'm sure Alice will take care of that."

"I'm sure she will," Leah added quietly. She said something then, something low, throaty sounding. It sounded like she was clearing her throat, but I swore I heard her speak. I looked up at Seth who had his eyes locked on his sister's as he drove slowly down the highway. Had she said something to Seth?

No, you're being crazy again, I told myself.

We drove the rest of the way, Sue asking her daughter questions about the wedding almost the whole time. It was interesting…Leah wasn't like most girls when they talked about planning their weddings. She didn't care about the colors, the location, the flowers…all she cared about was that her entire family would be there, and that they all liked her fiancé, Scott. Apparently, he had come the year before for the holidays, and everyone had gotten along with him extremely well.

When we got home, I was disgusted and completely disgruntled to see that all the rain and sleet had frozen on the ground, giving it a sheer white appearance. The ground looked like a mixture of slush and ice - nothing I wanted a part of. Seth pulled into the driveway, and everyone hopped out of the Bronco, carefully navigating the icy terrain. I opened the door and gripped my crutches, trying to gauge the ice that had formed on the concrete below me. I stepped down, sliding slightly. I cringed, hoping my boots were as good at gripping the ice as they were keeping my feet warm.

"Seth, help her," Leah practically hissed from the other side of the truck. I cringed with embarrassment as he jogged over easily, as if there was no snow or ice on the ground at all. He gathered my crutches from the seat behind me, tossing them gracefully to his sister who caught them both with one hand. How did they do stuff like that?

I didn't have time to think about it as Seth grinned sheepishly at me before placing one arm behind my knees and the other behind my back. He scooped me up easily enough, but I still yelped in surprise and threw my arms around his neck to grip him tightly. My heart raced as he carefully maneuvered the icy driveway and sidewalk, not even flinching as the icy rain beat down on us. He moved up the stairs as I continued to grip him, and I heard him chuckle in his throaty way.

"I'm not gonna drop you," he laughed, walking up the steps. I nodded, still tense as he walked past Charlie who was holding the front door open for us. Leah watched as he brought me in, carefully setting me down in the warm entryway. My body felt cold as soon as he moved away from me.

"There," he said, seeming satisfied. I accepted my crutches from Leah, suddenly unable to make eye contact with anyone else in the room as Charlie brought in her bags.

"It's so nice to be home. I have a feeling I have a lot of catching up to do," I heard her say. I looked up to catch her gaze, and I felt my cheeks redden as I gripped the handles of my crutches. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I had a feeling it had to do with me.


	23. Chapter 23

Seth

I swished my tail against the bushes in the backyard, waiting for Leah to get her ass out of bed and join me. We had a morning run scheduled, and I was ready for it. I hadn't phased in a few days because I had been so busy at work, and my bones were just aching for it. I had caught my spray painting vandals, and so the rest of my week had been spent cooped up at my desk. My paperwork was caught up, and I was doing this to reward myself.

I made a sound that was halfway between a bark and a whine, careful to keep it soft. I didn't want to wake Regan and make her panic, but I also wanted to let my sister know that it was time to get this show on the road. I wanted to know what she thought of Regan. I had seen Leah's curious looks and stares all night last night after dinner, and I was desperate to know what my big sister thought of my girl.

She's not yours, my common sense side snapped. She might not want you when she's older, it whispered.

Mine mine mine mine… The wolf chanted back in response. As much as I hated to admit it…the wolf that lived inside my body or my spirit wolf as Billy would call it, was adamant that the teenage girl sleeping inside my mother's house was his. I rolled my eyes. Between the wolf and the dude I had nicknamed 'Common Sense' arguing in my brain, I felt like Seth had no room to even breath or have a normal thought.

I shook my large head. I already had a headache.

A few minutes later, the front door slowly creaked open. Leah winced as it made a squeaking noise, but giggled anyway. I gave her a wolfy smile from the bushes, knowing she could see me. It was so good to see my sister smiling again – really smiling. Of course she was still the same old Leah – she bossed me around, glared when I said something too cheery, and every other comment from her mouth still dripped with sarcasm. But now…now she was happy, and it made my heart swell that she had found that in her life after everything she had been through - first Sam, then our dad, then phasing; she had been through a lot in life, and I was beyond ecstatic that she had found her niche.

Skipping the stairs, she lithely hurdled over the railing and landed silently on her feet. She grinned again, and I could tell she was relieved that she still had it. Her boyfriend was quite a bit younger than she was, so she had begun occasionally phasing again to slow her aging. Trotting over to me, she briefly scratched behind my ears before dodging behind a tree. I heard the familiar rip of skin and fur, and before I knew it, I was face to face with my sister, once again in wolf form.

Nice to see ya…God, you're still the scraggliest lookin' thing ever…

Nice to see you too sis. You still run slow? I teased, barking softly at her. Leah tilted her head back and let a howl rip from her throat in laughter.

Stop it! No! Stop Leah! I yelled at her in my mind. She cut it off, looking at me with confused eyes. Sheer panic emanated from my thoughts as I begged her to stop her howling.

What?

You'll scare Regan! She hates hearing the wolves howl. It terrifies her!

You gotta be kidding me?

Um, NO, I am not kidding you. Enough howling…

Leah was silent in shock for a moment as she glanced between the house and me.

She's already got you whipped, boy.

No, she doesn't. She's just - she's scared, and I don't want to upset her anymore. She's had a tough couple of weeks.

I showed Leah a few flashes of what Regan had been through: Claire…the accident…the hospital…Brady...

Of course Leah had heard about all of this over the phone, but seeing it in person had given her a whole new perspective of the situation. I felt my pounding heart start to slow a bit as I was finally able to calm down and quiet Leah. The absolute last thing I wanted right now was to terrify my still healing imprint even more. I wanted calmness…stability…and peace and quiet for Regan for a while. My overprotective side flared as I thought about Regan's past.

With a gulp and an oath of silence, I showed Leah the conversation Regan and I had after she came home from the hospital – the one about what had happened in Phoenix.

Ouch. Sorry, little brother, she said sincerely, swishing her tail against the icy ferns.

I bowed my head and huffed in frustration. I wanted to commit murder, Leah. I wanted to hunt him down, find him…and kill him. That's what's so scary about all this. I'm a fucking cop and I would have killed a man without a second thought for her Lee. I would have done it…and I would have liked it.

Not you, Seth. The wolf would have liked it. That's not you. That's him – he sees it as protecting his mate. That's not you Seth – you're no murderer. Imprint or no Imprint, Leah insisted. I tested her thoughts as I pondered what she had said. She was sincere, and I finally realized she was right.

I would have killed…

No, you wouldn't have. Stop it. She's been through a rough time, and…and you know how I feel. It's up to you to heal her.

No pressure or anything...

Ooops…sorry.

We were silent for a few minutes. I turned and began to amble towards the river the separated the Forks territory from La Push; it was the old treaty line. Leah followed after me, her thoughts buzzing.

She had a lot of questions, but she was trying to refrain to be polite.

Yeah. It's…it's been bad. But things are starting to look up, I think. So no howling, I chided playfully, nipping at the fur on her collar. She yipped quietly at me before turning and taking off.

You still as slow as I remember?

I'm not slow and you know it! I laughed back at her as I tailed on her heels. We had somewhere to be that morning, but I knew she would want to run a little before we went there. It had been awhile since she last phased, and I knew she wanted to enjoy it.

Feel good to let go and phase?

It does. I…I miss this part of it. I didn't dislike the wolf part. It was the…other stuff that bothered me. Being like this is great! She laughed in her head. I heard a tinge of bitterness, but it no longer clouded all of her thoughts. I was content.

Do you phase every day? She asked me.

I try. I might as well…I run a lot to burn off stress and all that other stuff, I said, careful to not reveal what I really meant. I ran because I was bored and killing time…time that would otherwise be spent at home, thinking about why I wasn't getting laid. Several of my pack mates insisted that I should continue to date at least a little to get some every once in a while…but I just couldn't. It felt like cheating to even try to think about another woman. I didn't want to dishonor her like that, even if it would just be casual sex for my own release and sanity. However, my pack mates that urged me to go out and have a one night stand were also the younger, stupider, unattached buffoons that begged me to buy them beer every weekend. I couldn't take them seriously. Even though Regan was still young, I still felt like there was a chance that someday…

There it is...

What?

The real reason, she giggled.

Shut up. My imprint is seventeen and nowhere near…well, just…no, I said awkwardly. She pitied me; I could feel it in her thoughts.

So… she began as we ran. You're the only case of imprinting where it isn't either painful or sick to watch…so what was it like?

What are you talking about?

Well, I mean, I've seen what it was like for Sam to imprint on Emily, when Jared imprinted on Kim, when Paul and Rachel - I've seen that and it was gross… she started out. Her mind flashed back to the time when imprinting was a new thing and a bunch of the pack had done it. I had to agree with her – it was gross to watch your friends go at it with their new girlfriends, but they couldn't even begin to try to block it from their thoughts. We had seen each detail over and over again in their minds, and Leah was right – it was gross. These were girls I knew and had to face at family and pack functions. I now had to try not to think about what my pack mates had done to them in bed. Then there was Quil and Jake who had imprinted on children and that was…weird at the time, but now we understood it.

We understand, but that doesn't' make it right, Leah grumbled, stifling her giggles. I shook my head mentally at her. I knew she was kidding.

You're right, I am. I love Claire and Ness, but…it was bizarre. Anyway…what was it like? she asked. To imprint on just…a normal girl?

You mean what was it like to not imprint on either a person I could have sex with or not have to worry about her mom packing her enough diapers? I laughed, thinking back to Quil. He has been a basket case when he had first imprinted on Claire as a toddler.

Yeah, Leah said.

It's…different. There isn't really a rule book Leah, I mean-

No, idiot. Show me. I want to- I'm just curious, my sister pleaded as we ran through a stream. Her thoughts took on a slightly envious tone as we made our though the water.

Oh…well, I told you it happened at that party…I let my thoughts drift back to the night I had met Regan at Brady's. It already felt like a million years ago, but then again, it was like it was just yesterday. I showed her the first time I laid eyes on Regan and what it felt like to recognize what was happening to me, what it felt like to smell her for the first time; to be in a car, trapped with her glorious new scent; to hear her heart beating as she slept. I showed my sister how much I already loved Regan.

You really love her? But you barely know her.

That's not true. I've known her for over two months now. But that doesn't matter Leah, I told you, I loved her the first time I saw her. It didn't matter to me. Just…everything else…nothing mattered anymore but her.

Leah's thoughts were silent. I could hear her trying to process in her mind what I was telling her, but she was falling short. As smug as it was of me, I didn't expect her to understand because she hadn't imprinted. She wouldn't get it – she couldn't.

Thanks, she said flatly, bounding through the blue water. Her breath came out in small clouds of air as we crossed the stream.

Sorry, I offered. I just- I wouldn't… you couldn't understand it, Leah. I don't love her like the traditional sense.

You'd just step in front of a bus for her though? I call that love. Or maybe it's mental insanity.

If I'm mentally ill, I like it. I'm in love with her, Leah. But not like…not like how Jared loves Kim or the sick way Paul loves Rachel, I chuckled. Its more- I can't explain it, I grumbled, turning to look at her. She stopped on the bank, lapping up a drink of water from the shore.

I was just wondering. I didn't mean to make you upset.

Nah, I'm not upset. It's just incredibly frustrating, Leah. I don't think of her as a sister, but I definitely don't see her …like that. It's strange.

Have you not noticed that we're both werewolves? I think strange is pretty much a given at this point, little bro.

Yeah, yeah, I mumbled, taking my own drink. I didn't mean to sound like a jackass. Scott is great.

I know, she said. Now it was her turn to act smug. Her thoughts turned to Regan again as she wondered if they would ever be sister in laws.

I smiled, barking at her as water dripped from my tongue. Once you get to know her, you'll love her as much as I do. I know it!

Down boy, she sneered playfully before turning and loping away. I dashed after her.

We flew through the icy, green forest with Leah leading the way. We tore across fields, up hills, and along the beaches toward our destination.

When we stopped and phased back to human form in the bushes, I tried to test Leah's mood one more time before we walked inside. However, she breezed confidently into Sam and Emily's house without so much as flinching this time.

"Leah!" Emily squealed, jumping up to hug her cousin. I breathed a sigh of relief as Leah smiled genuinely, embracing our cousin. Sam appeared a few seconds later, and Leah again didn't even wince.

"Hey Sam," she said, giving him a nod. He nodded back, slipping on an oven mitt.

"Scott in town?" he asked, opening up the oven. Emily rolled her eyes as he pulled out the still baking muffins, sniffing them to test their done-ness.

"Nah, he had to work. It's alright though – just went for a run with little brother over here, and it was good to hear him whine about girls for a change," Leah said, walking over to ruffle the top of my head.

I scowled at her before walking over to pour myself a cup of coffee. "Well, maybe he can make it down here for Christmas," Sam offered hopefully.

"He works. But it's alright. We set a date so I'm happy – I told him if they schedule him to work on his wedding day, he's calling in sick whether he likes it or not."

Sam chuckled, shaking his head. A baby's cry pierced the air, and I winced at the shrill timbre of it. There was nothing like the sound of a screaming toddler.

"I've got him," Sam offered, loping from the kitchen. Emily smiled after him, and then turned back to Leah.

"So…are you wedding planning yet?"

Leah shook her head. "Between Alice and Mom, I've barely got anything to do. Not that I'm complaining," Leah snorted, pouring her own cup. I leaned against the counter, watching their exchange. I sniffed the air, frowning.

"What's….what that…" I murmured, ignoring their weird looks. Emily gave me a weird look, and Leah's face mirrored hers for a moment before she gave me a knowing look.

Leah held up her hand and smirked. "Just listen, moron. Use your senses. And you were teasing me for being out of practice?"

"Huh?" I murmured. I frowned, trying to take her advice. Then, I heard it. It was a distant, muffled fluttering, almost like the sound of Renesmee's heartbeat. That mixed with the strange smell in the room made my eyes widen in recognition. Emily was pregnant.

"Again?" I asked Emily, my eyebrows rising. She exhaled a big breath, nodding her head excitedly. Leah hugged her, and I shook my head. How was she pregnant again? Their son wasn't even two…

Emily seemed to read the looks on our face. "These things just happen. I…" she looked speechless. I shrugged.

"Eh, what can ya do?" I said casually, even though in my mind I was already feeling sorry for the two of them with not one but two babies in the house.

"Does Sam know?" Leah asked, lowering her voice. Emily nodded.

"Yes, he knew…before I did, once again," Emily sad, rolling her eyes. "He's retired, but he still has those weird, wolfy senses," she giggled. She patted her belly and grinned happily at both of us.

"Congrats, Em," I said, embracing my cousin. I sniffed her again as I hugged her, and something was definitely different. I wasn't sure if it was the hormones or what, but she just…smelled altered. It wasn't bad or good, but my senses told me that something was off about her normal body chemistry. And, on top of all that, when I listened closely I could hear a heartbeat that sounded like it was muffled under pillows and was much, much faster.

Weird, I thought to myself.

"You two are the first to know besides Sam," Emily said proudly. She grinned at Leah, her scarred face shining with light. "I'm so glad you're home, Lee."

Leah hugged Emily, her eyes meeting mine over our cousin's shoulder. She sighed and gave her eyes an exasperated roll, but I knew that she was genuinely happy for Emily.

We ate breakfast with Sam and Emily and their son, Jackson. Conversation was somewhat forced, and I knew for once that Leah was relieved that I was fluent in constant babble as we ate. There was no room for awkward silences when I was in the room. I chattered my way through breakfast; I talked about the two most important things in my life at the moment, which was my job and Regan. Emily was thrilled that I had finally imprinted.

"You'll be very happy someday," she quietly assured me with a pat on the hand. I shrugged, taking a long drag of orange juice.

"I already am happy. People are so funny, they think that just because she's only seventeen that I think of it as some kind of burden. I really don't," I chuckled. "She's great Em, really. She's so…sarcastic and witty, and she's really smart and observant…she already knows something is weird about me, I know because she called me a weirdo once, and-"

"She sounds wonderful," Emily laughed, cutting in. She gave Sam and Leah a knowing look, and everyone at the table burst into laughter.

I grinned. "Am I babbling about her?"

Leah shook her head. "Nah, only the first ten minutes was babble. Now you're just being cute," she said sarcastically. I nodded good naturedly and continued eating as I smiled to myself. I couldn't help talking about Regan – she was my imprint! Why would anyone not want to talk about her?

By the time I finished off all the food set out on the table, I was out of distractions. I had been talking and thinking so much about Regan that morning that now I was almost completely fixated on seeing her again. I gave Leah a look that she understood, and we made our way out the door. She hugged Emily and gave Sam a friendly wave goodbye, and we were off.

Sorry, I offered as soon as we were in wolf form. Leah took one look into my Regan-obsessed head and understood. She knew I needed to see my imprint again after talking about her and explaining my love for her.

You're this bad already? Ulgh, she groaned.

Just spend some time with her today….you'll totally understand, I know you will! I urged her. Leah agreed, and we began the short run home.

I'll want to know her if she's going to be my sister-in-law someday, she added in the back of her mind. I didn't say anything, but my heart was so happy that it almost exploded.

I tested Leah's thoughts as we ran home afterwards, trying to see how she really felt about Sam and Emily.

You're not going to find anything, she answered. It's okay, Seth. I'm happy for them, and I'm…I'm happy too. She thought a moment. It helps that I have my own boy now, she added with a laugh. It still stings, but...now I have a Band-Aid. And I don't have to listen to Sam obsess about my cousin in my head and watch their foreplay in his head like bad re-runs of Seinfeld.

Oh, I see. Sorry…I didn't mean to pry.

It's okay. It's still…weird for me…to go there and see them. It's like the Twilight Zone still sometimes if I think about it, but honestly…I just try not to think about it anymore.

Is being back here tough?

Leah was silent again as her mind whirred. I saw flashes of Scott and Sam in her mind, as if she was comparing the two. However, her mind couldn't quite place them side by side because they were so different. Scott and Sam were both good men in their own ways, yet they couldn't even be placed into the same category.

Not as bad as I thought it would be - for years and years. I don't know if you remember, but I kind of left with my tail between my legs the first time, Seth. Pun intended, she laughed with sarcasm.

I nodded, loping after her. After the great Volturi battle and after Renesmee had been born, my sister had been…lost. I really think she only stuck around for Emily's sake. She had asked her to be a bridesmaid, and Leah held that request on a platter, thinking that that was the ultimate gesture to assure us all that she was fine. I remembered the wedding like it was yesterday. My sister had looked beautiful, standing up there with as much dignity as she could as the man she used to love married his soul mate. Her poise had held through the ceremony, and she had well naturedly hung around for pictures and cake. After that, I had taken my big sister out, and we had found out together how much alcohol was needed to get a wolf drunk. I hadn't told anyone she cried, and she didn't tell anyone I was only just shy of seventeen at the time.

After that…Leah had been different. She moved back in with Sue and Charlie, taking a form of solitary confinement. My mom had quietly married Charlie in a civil ceremony that following fall. But Leah..I think she felt out of place there, holed up in Bella's old room for days. She had pretty much cut off all ties with all of us. I had been worried about her. When she phased for the first time since the wedding, it had been bizarre inside her head. It was like she was a blank slate and didn't have an opinion about anything which was very un-Leah. I think she phased only a few more times after that. Before I knew it, she had quit phasing, cut off most communication, and packed up to leave for Seattle. It had been a long time before she had spoken to anyone after that.

I nodded in my head. Okay. Just...just checking.

I'm okay, Seth. Really. I'm happy now.

What? What's this? Happy Leah? I joked.

She snorted in her head and nipped at my collar as we ran side by side. Okay, I won't go that far. Happy-ish Leah.

There ya go, I laughed.

We headed up back in the direction of Forks. It was just past eight or nine in the morning I would guess; I wanted to be back at the house by the time Regan woke up. I was looking forward to spending as much time with her as I could this weekend. Ever since I had imprinted on her, the Cullen house had a certain…coldness that it never seemed to have before. I pictured how warm my mom's house looked, glad that Regan was there with her. My mind showed me flashes of my imprint, cuddled into her bed and sleeping soundly in the dim, foggy morning. In the time I had spent with her after coming home from the hospital, I had been lucky enough to watch her sleep. Of course Edward had told me about the times he had watched Bella sleep when she was human. I remember thinking he looked like a lovesick puppy while he had talked about her like that, and his only response had been a smirk. I didn't understand – I couldn't understand - until I saw Regan sleeping.

For a girl who had so many troubles and worries in life, she sure did manage to look peaceful when she slept. I realized that she brought on a lot of her problems herself; however, that still didn't make it any easier for me to watch her life through them. But when she slept…she was so peaceful. Her hair was all mussed up and tangled, hanging around her little round face…her pouty pink lips would fall open slightly as she breathed, her cherry almond scent filling the room…

I didn't realize my thoughts had gotten away from me until Leah interrupted.

You little whipped fool…Leah muttered, shaking her head.

Sorry, I laughed. I forgot you were here somehow.

She snorted inside her head again but continued to watch as I thought about what Regan looked like sleeping. I could tell she was simply trying to process my new feelings for my imprint while trying to understand them from an outsider's point of view.

You do love her, Leah finally said as we neared Forks.

I looked over my shoulder at her, pulling away slightly. I let my tongue hang out of my mouth a little. Of course I do, silly. She's my…other half. She's not my best friend yet, or my soul mate, but…I feel like she's my other half.

Weird… I mean…I'm sorry, Seth. I'm trying to 'get' it. I am. It's just different to hear you talk like this.

I thought for a moment, trying once again, to unsuccessfully explain imprinting to an outsider.

I am different…but better. Different but better.

If you say so, she laughed.

As we ran over the hilly terrain above Forks, the town slowly came into view through the mist. Forks wasn't the only thing we were approaching. A low hum of quiet, brooding thoughts came into our hearing.

Who… Leah began to speak, but she didn't have to ask who it was. Brady came running up to us, his paws thudding on the damp ground. He was freshly phased and ready for his morning patrol. I managed to keep my thoughts quiet as his dark, almost black fur coat came into view. When he saw me, his wolf eyes widened slightly.

Shit! He thought. He recomposed himself quickly. Sorry, he muttered to Leah.

I watched Leah note that his tail went between his legs slightly as he galloped past, starting his rounds for the morning.

Brady kept his thoughts to a low hum as he passed me. My lip curled over my teeth out of reflex for seeing him. He had avoided me ever since our…altercation. I normally would have apologized to him by now for kicking his ass, but…I had been in such a clouded haze of 'Regan' as Quil called it that I hadn't even had the time. I wasn't sure I was ready to tell him sorry yet. It suddenly dawned on me that I didn't ever think I would be sorry for handing his ass to him. He deserved it.

Fuck you too, Clearwater, he sneered under his breath. I looked over my shoulder, but realized that he had only said that when he was a safe distance away.

Screw it, I thought.

Leah paused, her claws sinking into the dirt. What the hell was that about?

I – we - I'll explain it later, I mumbled and picked up the pace. I hadn't mentioned to Leah yet that I had kicked Brady's ass. Leah followed, but I knew I would have some explaining to do later.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I listened from the hallway as I pretended to dig through the linen closet. I was standing outside of Regan's room about ten minutes later, taking as long as I could to search for just the right towel for my shower. I had gotten dirtier than I wanted to be during our run, and Mom had volunteered the bathroom to me if I promised to make it quick. She wasn't exactly keen with the idea of two stinky, freshly phased wolves sitting at her dining room table for Thanksgiving dinner.

We had gotten back from our 'run' just as Regan was coming downstairs for the morning. Of course we were filthy and sweaty, and had to go with the story that we had gone for a real 'run' as humans. I don't think Regan bought a word of it as she had looked at us doubtfully from the couch.

When mom has suggested we each take a shower, I had been more than happy to agree. Any excuse to go upstairs and see Regan's room was more than I could have hoped for. So now, here I was – standing outside Regan's room at the tiny linen closet, digging for a towel as I eavesdropped. She was talking to Leah, and I wanted to catch as much of it as I could before I actually had to go take a shower.

"You're sure you don't mind me keeping my bag in here?" Leah asked from inside Regan's room. I peered over my shoulder, leaning back to watch as Regan paced around the bedroom - well, as much as she could with a huge cast on her leg.

"No, it's your room anyway," she muttered, looking out the window. She was distracted. I watched as Regan pulled the curtain back, peering out back into the yard. She was clearly expecting to see something.

"Thanks…what are you looking for?"

"Nothing," Regan said, shaking her head. She let the curtain fall back in place, frowning as she turned away.

"What is it?"

Leah was never one to be subtle.

"I…just dreamt that I heard wolves howling again. It was just a dream, I guess," she said. Leah looked up over her shoulder as she rearranged her bag. Her eyes met mine, and I quickly looked away. Then, what Leah said next made me freeze in my tracks.

"Are you sure it was a dream?"

Regan paused, and I could hear her go to sit on the bed. "No. I know it wasn't. I…I saw two huge wolves in the backyard just a few minutes ago and….and they moved so fast that I couldn't tell….I know I'm not dreaming them up."

Leah was silent for a few moments. "Yeah, there are some pretty big wolves around here, but…they're all dumb and a little too friendly," I heard her say pointedly. She knew I was listening.

"Shut ittt…" I begged under my breath, knowing she could hear. Leah snickered, and Regan shifted uncomfortably on her bed.

"So you…you've seen them? Claire said the same thing about them being big and dumb, but…how could something so big and fast be dumb? Can a wolf even be labeled as…well…stupid?"

"Oh yes," Leah said, and I could hear her stand up and walk closer to the door. My heart began to race as I stood in the bathroom doorway just out of sight, listening.

"They're actually friendly Regan, so don't feel unsafe in these parts. If a wolf is around, you're actually quite safe. But look out…." Leah said, walking over to put her hand on the door. She could see me, but Regan still couldn't. "…they'll sit in your yard and listen in on your conversations," she giggled, slamming Regan's bedroom door shut. I heard Regan laugh and my sister's silly accusation of wolves listening in on her conversations. It was so good to hear her laugh about the whole thing that I couldn't even be upset that Leah has closed the door on me.

I shook my head and started the shower. At least I could smell Regan's shampoo again.


	24. Chapter 24

Regan

The next morning was Thanksgiving. I realized with mock amusement that this was probably my first of many holidays without my mother. I was indifferent about her at this point; if she didn't want anything to do with me, then I sure as hell didn't want anything to do with her. I knew it was a cop-out for not wanting to deal with how hurt I really was about the whole 'birthday' situation, but I had enough to think about as it was.

I hobbled down the steps at about nine on Thanksgiving morning, glad that the Piggly Wiggly was closed and that I wouldn't have to work that day. Besides…Charlie's little white house smelled far too good to spend it mixing muffin dough in the back of a grocery store.

"Hi honey," Sue said, looking up from the pie crust she was making. I inhaled again now that I was in the kitchen; it was evident that she had been up for hours, baking up a storm.

"It smells…amazing in here," I laughed, gripping the handles of my crutches. Sue smiled, nodding. "I've cooked a turkey or two in my day," she said with satisfaction, walking over to the oven. She opened it, showing me the glistening, golden bird that cooked there.

"So much food around…where's Seth?" I asked. I knew that he had spent the night on the living room couches with his sister; they had stayed up to talk long after I had gone to bed. I had listened to the muffled sound of their voices as I fell asleep, trying to catch what they were talking about. Had my name come up, I wondered?

"They erm…went to run and errand," Sue mumbled, tucking a strand of her long, jet black hair behind her ears.

I nodded, making my way over to the coffee pot. Once Sue was satisfied with her turkey basting skills, she carried my coffee into the living room for me so that we could sit. A few seconds later, I heard feet clumping on the stairs of the front porch, and I knew that it had to be Seth and Leah. My heart started to pound in my chest, and I heard the figures on the front porch freeze as if they were suddenly frozen and listening to something. Leah giggled, then Seth said something defensive sounding to her before the front door opened and they both charged in. They both bypassed us and headed somewhere else.

They were in the kitchen in two seconds flat, both of them suddenly ravenous looking like they hadn't seen food for weeks. They both whore black, holey looking sweatpants, beat up sneakers, and t-shirts. How on earth could they do that in this weather?

"How was it?" Sue asked, looking up at them as they walked back into the living room. If I thought they looked ravenous before, they looked ready to skin something alive to eat it now.

"Good, then?" Sue prompted.

Seth turned, giving his mother a pointed look before grinning at me. I felt my heart falter in my chest, but I set my jaw determinedly. I wasn't going to show him I stupid I was.

Leah tucked her long, still slightly curled-from-yesterday-hair behind her ear, nodding. Her coppery face glowed like then sun; her cheeks were pink and wind bitten, but her dark eyes were lit up like back coals. She looked so excited and beautiful that I yearned for just one ounce of her emotions. I wanted to soak up the way she looked right now.

"It was great. We uhmm…forgot to go to the store for the cranberries," she admitted almost sheepishly.

"Once she got out there and started running again, I couldn't stop her," Seth chuckled as he walked by, mussing her hair.

"You guys went for a run?" I asked in disbelief. Seth nodded, pointing proudly to his old sneakers. "See?"

I nodded, impressed that he had actually managed to find shoes this time. I would never forget the night he had been 'running' barefoot through Forks the night I had heard the wolf howling.

Leah gave him a weird look, and he playfully shoved her to the side. She snorted and took off after him, both of them toward the kitchen. I was amazed at how two people so large could move so lithely and gracefully; sure their feet made pounding noises on the creaky old floor of the hallway, yet they never knocked anything over. They laughed and swatted at each other in a very brother and sister fashion on their way to the kitchen, and I heard Sue call out.

"Stay away from that turkey!" she called, looking slightly frazzled beside me. I bit back a smile as I watched them screech to a halt in front of the oven.

"Just a peek ma," Seth laughed, opening up the oven. The smell of a baking turkey wafted through the kitchen and into the hallway where I stood, leaning on my crutches next to Sue.

"Those two…" she grumbled, shaking her head. I laughed at her, relieved that Sue seemed to be in a good mood again. I knew I had disappointed her, and even though she claimed to have forgiven me, I still saw sadness when she looked at me. Having Seth and Leah here seemed to help that, and for that I was glad.

I hobbled to the couch, flopping down in front of the coffee table where my algebra book was. I had managed to finish all of my homework for the weekend besides that, and I was grudgingly doing it bit by bit over break.

"What's that?" Leah asked, gracefully loping up to the couch. She sat down next to me, the cushions bouncing slightly under her weight.

She was very tall for a girl; much taller than Sue, but not as tall as Seth. Her body was quite slender, but muscular just the same. Yet, she had such a feminine air about her in the way she moved, the way she would turn her head to look lovingly at her mom, and the way her beautiful jet black hair fell around her shoulders. Today it was down and completely wild, the curls from the day before falling out slightly. Leah was the girl version of Seth in every way, and she was almost as achingly flawless and beautiful that it hurt to look at her for too long. They both radiated such happiness that it made me want to be near them both.

"Stupid algebra," I muttered, flipping absent mindedly through the textbook's pages.

Leah snorted, tucking a long strand of her silky hair behind her ear. "You'll never use that."

"Leah," Charlie warned from his chair. He pushed in the sides of aluminum Vitamin R can, making a popping noise as he gave her a pointed look.

"Drinking already Charlie?" she asked with a knowing grin. His stern face slackened, and he stuck his nose up a little.

"It's a holiday. Don't have to work all weekend," he muttered, his brown eyes glittering with humor.

Leah snorted again and flashed him a knowing grin before turning her attention back to me.

"That's cuz I'm pulling a double for you on Saturday," Seth said, ruffling Charlie's hair as he strode by into the living room. Charlie pretended to swat at him, Seth easily dodging his hand.

"You kids will be the death of me," He said with a smile, leaning back even further into the recliner.

"Don't' work too hard now," Seth said, tossing him another can of beer.

"You'll never use this, but Charlie is right…it's good to get good grades," Leah said. "College," she added with a shrug.

I shrugged. "Not sure if I want to go to college," I admitted. "I don't know what I want to do."

While most adults would have chided me for being halfway through my junior year and not having a clue about my future, Leah was much more blaze.

"You're young. You'll figure it out. It's okay to change your mind…I know I did."

"What do you do in Seattle?" I asked.

"Well…when I got out of college, things were still up in the air….I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I went back to school for nursing. The rest kind of fell into place after that….I mean, I liked helping people and blood doesn't bother me-"

"Blood makes me sick," I said with a shudder. She stopped, gave me a grin, and continued.

"Well, I've got a pretty touch stomach. So, when I was doing my interning in college I got stuck in the pediatrics ward and I hated it."

"You hate kids?"

"No, that's not it, I just…I've never been around babies really. Seth was it. And I never liked him anyway," she teased. He shot her a glare from the other armchair, but his gaze was slightly humored.

"The kids seemed to like me though. I'm not sure why – I've never liked holding people's babies or fawning over other people's snot nosed little bratty children…" she laughed. "But I did find that I had a soft spot for sick kids in the hospital. They've always seemed to like me and now…I like them back."

"So you like your job?"

She nodded, tucking her long legs underneath her. "I love it. And I get to wear scrubs to work every day, so that kicks ass too."

I laughed, nodding. "That would be rather nice, yeah."

"You could come to Seattle with mom sometime – you guys could spend the night at my place and we could check out some college there. No big deal," she offered hopefully.

I wanted to say no, but something in the way she was so hopeful made me want to make Leah happy.

"That would be cool, yeah. I've never been to Seattle," I said.

"Can I come?" Seth asked quickly from the other side of the room. His tone and expression were so much like a small boy again that it made me want to laugh.

"Uh, sure?" I half responded, half asked. Seeming pleased with my answer, he nodded and turned his attention back to the football game pre-show that was starting.

"He just likes to eat his way through the city, ignore him," Leah said, shaking her head.

"I'd believe it," I laughed, tossing my mechanical pencil across the room at him. His hand reached up and caught it just before it hit him, and I stopped laughing. He grinned at me before gently tossing it back.

I caught it and swore I could still feel the heat from his fingers on the cheap plastic. Looking over at his achingly gorgeous sister, I slowly realized that Leah radiated with the same heat as Seth. Her thigh was close to mine on the couch, and even through her lose sweatpants I could feel the warmth of her coppery skin. Would I ever get over my jealousy of their tan skin? They were both so beautifully perfect with their perfect skin, straight, white teeth, and long, graceful limbs that they were almost…not human.

"But really – you should come out sometime. Explore the city," she urged in her low, silky voice. I looked over at her, taking in her warm brown eyes and soft, genuine smile. I felt at east with Leah.

I nodded, suddenly feeling like it actually would be nice to get away from Forks sometime. "I would like to get out of here sometime. Maybe I will."

Leah gave me another warm smile before turning her attention to start yelling at the TV along with Seth and Charlie – the game had started and that was my cue to tune out. I sat next to Leah while the football game got underway on the flat screen, pretending to do what little homework I had. I really was watching Seth lounge in the large recliner across the room, making the lazy boy look like a dwarf chair. I was in awe of how much Leah was a tomboy; spouting off stats and yelling at the players on the flat screen, and yet….she had so many small, feminine details about her that set her apart from most tomboys. Manicured toes. A nice haircut. Expensive smelling shampoo or perfume or something like that. Leah smelled like Seth, but in a sweet, feminine way; like forests and fresh rain, yet with a hint of wildflowers.

When it was finally time to eat, I was actually glad. Sue had been cooking all day, and the smells wafting from the kitchen were sensational and holiday-ish. As we stood up and peeled ourselves off the couches to go to the dining room, realized that Charlie and Sue's house was like a slightly worn picture from Good Housekeeping. The smell of baking pumpkin pie, the thanksgiving table cloth, and a few fall themed decorations added to the picture. As much as I hated it, this was actually starting to feel like…home.

I helped Sue carry in a few dishes with Leah. I paused when I saw something taped to window in the tiny, rarely used dining room.

"That's so cute!" I said, setting the meager amount of cranberry sauce down on the table. Reaching out a finger, I traced my it down the side of the paper turkey that was so carefully taped together. It was obviously a child's art project, made with construction paper, popsicle sticks, and decorated with crayons and glitter.

"It…it's adorable," I laughed, looking at the paper turkey's funny expression.

"Thanks," Seth laughed behind me, startling me slightly. I whirled around, surprised.

"This is yours?"

"Yeah. Made if for my mom in first grade," he said proudly. I pretended not to notice how close to me he stood. "She still puts that dumb thing up every year." Sue mad a 'tsk'ing sound and swatted his arm.

I looked back at the art project, frowning slightly. The color of the paper was faded, and the edges were curling. It looked so …old.

"It…it's so old," I stated without thinking. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. It was like admitting out loud how old he was…and how old I wasn't.

"Uh…yeah," he said. I looked over my shoulder at him, and I could've sworn he looked almost sad. His warm, spicy scent swirled around me for a brief second, and I caught myself almost feeling dizzy.

"Let's eat!" Sue said quickly, interrupting my thoughts.

I jumped slightly, nodding at her. I sat down, ignoring Leah's questioning eyes at boy me and her brother. I didn't k what to do. Her dark, expressive eyes were practically a carbon copy of Seth's, and for some reason I felt like I couldn't lie to her. I pretended not to notice her discrete stare as Seth sat next to me at the dinner table. It wasn't an unfriendly gaze, but it was definitely a questioning one. As we ate, I realized that features and size weren't the only things Seth and Leah had in common. Her thin structure was no indication of how much she could eat. I watched in awe as she downed easily as much food as Seth – maybe more.

"You uh…miss you mother's cooking?" Charlie asked, a mischievous glint showing in his dark brown eyes. Leah grinned as she chewed, returning the gaze.

"Making up for lost time I guess. I don't hear you complaining," she laughed, swallowing her food.

Charlie's eyebrows went up a bit like he was going to counter something back, but he simply shrugged and turned his attention back to his food. That's all everyone did, in fact. We ate and ate and then when we thought we were done, Sue announced that she had made three different kinds of dessert; a pumpkin pie, an apple crisp pie, and a white chocolate and strawberry cheesecake. I was in food heaven, and being around people that ate that much didn't exactly want to make me stop.

After dinner, I was doomed to dish duty as usual, but this time it was Leah who helped me. She dried while I washed, and Seth sat on the stool in the corner to keep us company.

"But you like Forks?" She asked, brushing a strand of her shiny black hair out of her eyes. Her face was so concerned - she looked like she was asking my opinion about euthanizing puppies rather than my opinion of the sleepy little own.

I shrugged, scrubbing at the bottom of the first pan. "It's alright. Too rainy and cold But it's pretty. I'm not…really outdoorsy, and that's kind of a given in a place like this I guess."

She snorted. "I never used to be outdoorsy either."

I looked up at her. "So what changed?"

She shrugged. "Oh, a little of this, little of that, you know."

It was the first of many vague answers I would receive from Leah Clearwater. I looked over my shoulder at Seth, who was somehow inexplicably still eating the last of the veggie tray that sat on the counter. He shrugged apologetically at me as he stuffed a couple of baby carrots drenched in dip into his mouth as if he had no control over his stomach.

"Bottomless pit," I mumbled under my breath. Both of them burst into laughter. I looked up quickly, amazed that they had both managed to catch my comment.

"You heard that?"

"The truth speaks volumes," Leah muttered, glaring playfully over her shoulder at Seth. He tossed a cherry tomato at her and she caught it effortlessly before popping it into her mouth. I tried to not give them weird looks.

"He eats like every meal is his last…." I muttered playfully to Leah. She snorted, glancing over her shoulder at her brother.

"He's like a garbage disposal…they all are," she scoffed with a grin. I laughed, and Seth tossed a baby carrot at the back of Leah's head.

"Who?"

"The p- the rest of the rez guys. Quileute guys can eat," she stuttered. Seth stopped his loud, crunchy chewing for a second to watch his sister.

"So um….Seth tells me you do yoga. Are there any good studios around here?"

Leah tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled, but it was guarded. "Um, yeah, there's a good one in Port Angeles I think, I only go there if I'm home for a long weekend, but…"

I listened halfway as Leah spoke in her smooth, low voice about yoga and studios and this and that. I looked over my shoulder at Seth as he continued to munch on the leftovers. How he could still be hungry made me sick to even ponder.

Leah continued to ask me harmless questions for the rest of my dish duty, Seth making little comments in the background to remind us that he was there. Afterwards, I hobbled into the living room where the five of us watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and dozed off our turkey.

It had been a sad day without my mom, but….Seth and Leah definitely helped fill the hole that my mother had carved in my heart.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	25. Chapter 25

Regan

"Are you sure it's cool if I'm here?" I asked Claire for the millionth time that day. It was Friday night, and I had been teetering on the edge of being excited – and terrified – for the bonfire. I knew that Brady was going to be in attendance, but my curiosity to attend one of these parties was piqued. I also just wanted to get the hell out of my aqua-colored bedroom for something other than school or work. I was starting to have the scent of muffins permanently baked into my hair.

"Things will be fine. Just ignore him. That'll make him mad," Claire said confidently, smacking her glossed lips together, looking into her car mirror. She had insisted that we ride together to the party that night, and I was a little glad. I knew that with Claire there I was at least a little safe. I couldn't imagine that Brady would say much in front of Claire…Right? If anyone could verbally bitch slap him, it would be her. She could pull sassy phrases and head spinning curse words out of her butt like an angry, old woman. I think part of my need to be her friend was to protect myself, but I couldn't be sure. I grinned at her before cracking the car door open.

"Are you sure? If he's mad—maybe he'll embarrass me in front of everyone…" I trailed off, fidgeting with my hair. I was wearing my Uggs (courtesy of Bella) paired with jeans, and my warmest looking sweater. I layered a scarf on top of that and topped it all off with my jacket from Sue and Charlie. These were the warmest clothes I had, and I could only hope that they held up for me tonight. It looked cold, but Claire promised that the fire would be roaring, and we would be somewhat sheltered by the rocky shore of the beach.

I was happier than ever that Claire had forgiven me for ditching her. She was a good friend; I realized that before Claire, all I have had in my life were acquaintances that I got by with. Claire was a little exhausting at times with her chatty mouth and nosy questions, but I knew she honestly cared about me. I needed that right now. As much as I had avoided it, I had finally caved and told her the entire Brady story in gym class one day. I had to sit out and watch because of my ankle, and she had talked her way out of volleyball by feigning cramps and somehow…somehow the entire story had come spilling out. Her wide eyes and gaping mouth told me how shocked she was, yet…she had said very little. She knew I didn't want to talk about the details as I didn't seem happy about sharing my story with her. I knew at that moment that Claire was going to be a good friend, and I was determined not to screw up and lose her twice.

"Just ignore him. Don't even look at Brady. Seth will be there, I'm sure he'd put Brady in his place if you needed him too."

"That's not his job, Claire. I don't want him to feel like he's my babysitter."

"You mean like Quil?" She quipped, giving me a sideways grin. She flashed her straight, white teeth and I rolled my eyes.

"I think we both know he isn't your babysitter," I said suggestively.

She nodded good naturedly. "You're very right. He's….he's my best friend," she said softly. Her face changed slightly as she talked about Quil. I watched as she jabbered incessantly about him as we drove down the winding, windy roads towards First Beach. As annoyed as I pretended to be with her sometimes, I did enjoy watching her talk about Quil. Any idiot could tell that they were best friends; he wasn't really her babysitter…I wasn't fooled one bit.

"Besides….if anyone ever said anything mean to me I'm sure Quil would give them the ass whipping of the century. I think Seth would be the same way. Very…big brotherly, those boys."

I tried to hide my wincing. I didn't want Seth to think of me as a little sister. In fact, I wanted him to think of me in quite the opposite way….

I wrung my hands in my lap as I tried to clear my mind. It wasn't right to think of Seth like I did - I knew that. But, ever since our episode in the kitchen when he had put his hands on me to keep me from falling, I had been able to think of little else. As wrong as it was to think of Seth the way I did - hunky, model-like, and astonishingly good looking whilst half-naked…it felt right. I knew I should feel bad, but I didn't. The part of my mind that needed to chide me for such thoughts didn't work properly, and I knew it. But did I care? Not especially. I tried to write it off as lusty, teenage hormones and an out of control crush on someone completely unattainable.

By the time Claire pulled up to park in the gravel lot by the beach, my stomach was twisted into knots. I knew I wanted to go to this party; hell, it was the first time I had been out of the house in weeks for anything remotely social. However, I knew that Brady was here and that made me seriously ill to even think about.

"You'll be fine. If not then…I'll jack him in the face!" she laughed casually, throwing up her hands. I shook my head at her.

"I'm not laughing because I know you probably would."

"True," she nodded.

We walked – well, I hobbled while Claire helped me and carried my purse – down the rocky path towards the huge fire that was already burning on the beach. When we finally got there, I was able to look up as everyone greeted Claire. When she stepped out of the way, every pair of dark eyes rested on me. My eyes widened slightly as I took in the crowd standing around the large fire and picnic tables. They were all the tallest, most muscular looking group of men and guys I had ever seen. They all had the same chiseled, bronzed faces and dark eyes as Seth and Quil, and every single one of them had turned to see who had arrived.

Conversations stopped, heads turned, and everyone took me in. I froze, feeling my eyes widen even further without my permission. Then, out of nowhere, I felt something very warm appear next to me.

"Haven't you goons ever seen crutches before?" Leah snapped, stepping slightly in front of me. There were a few awkward coughs, but almost as soon as she said it, everyone went back to what they were doing. I let out a sigh of relief. Leah's presence somehow made me feel a little more calm.

"I'm so glad my mom let you out of the house," Leah said, squeezing my hand. She gave me a wry smile that clearly told me she too had felt the wrath of one of Sue Clearwater's punishments more than once.

"Yeah…you mom sure does know how to stick to her guns when it comes to grounding," I replied sourly.

Leah laughed loudly and patted my shoulder. "She'll soften up….I'd bet on it."

"I can dream," I muttered. She smiled at me, her dark, curled hair falling over her face slightly.

"I'm glad you came though. Everyone of these goons is dying to meet the girl brave enough to live with Sue and Charlie."

"Really?" I squeaked, looking skeptically around the raging fire. A few pairs of curious eyes lingered on me, but quickly darted away when they met my gaze.

"What'd I miss?" Seth asked, loping up behind Leah. Leah sneered at him and smacked him on the back of the head in a very sisterly way.

"You're a goon too," she huffed, rolling her eyes. Seth frowned, rubbing the back of his head. His expression lightened when he saw me.

"Hey, you came!" he said happily, smiling widely. His white teeth gleamed in the light of the fire.

"I said I was," I answered quietly. Leah took Claire's arm and led her over to where Quil stood, eating one of the most loaded down hot dogs I had ever seen.

"Yeah…well, I just –still…you came," he said happily, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I shook my head at him but couldn't help but laugh a little.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" I laughed. "Why's Leah in a grumpy mood?"

"Eh, some of the guys were giving her crap about marrying a-"he stopped, his pink tongue licking his lips slightly at the thought.

"Marrying a what?"

"A, uh…um…city boy—yeah, a city boy," he chuckled, flashing his white teeth; they almost glowed in the light of the fading sun and the fire. The beach was cold and windy, but the fire roared in the middle of the party. However…I got the feeling that most of the warmth was actually coming from him.

"Are you hungry?" he asked hopefully, looking at the fire where several tall, dark-skinned boys were cooking hot dogs. I shook my head.

"How are you still not full from yesterday?" I asked, patting my stomach. He laughed; the sound rumbling in his chest.

"Regan, I haven't been full for over a decade," he howled, stomping his boot-clad foot on the ground.

I smiled, shaking my head at him again. "I don't know how. I bet you eat enough in a month to fill up a garbage truck."

"I wouldn't bet against you," he mumbled, feigning embarrassment. I giggled, gripping my crutches.

"You know you don't have to stay here and baby-sit me. You can go hang out with your friends," I offered, motioning to Quil.

He nodded, giving them an indifferent look. "Who says I'm not hanging with one of my friends?" he asked, giving me a playful wink.

My heart soared like a hummingbird. For some reason, he smirked to himself briefly before smiling wider at me – as if he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

I smiled back at him. I couldn't help it…Seth's smile was like a cold in the fall – you couldn't help but catch it. But this I liked. I felt time stand still as he gazed down at me, grinning from ear to ear. I think this was finally him admitting it out loud: we were friends. Hearing him define our relationship out loud was making it sort of okay for me to like him. I knew it wasn't right for me to like him the way I did, but I was willing to take anything at this point. I was tired of trying to avoid him, and being friends with him finally took a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt my heart get a little lighter that night.

"Hey Officer Clearwater, what you gonna do about all the baby pups that's drinking tonight?" a loud voice interrupted, smacking Seth on the back. Seth jumped, his eyes widening as he turned to look at the huge man next to him.

"Paul—I swear," he muttered, shaking his head. He chuckled, but it sounded forced. "I'm off duty, and it's not like they're driving anywhere."

The man he had called Paul laughed loudly, patting him rather hard on the shoulder again. "It still cracks me up that you're a cop. I forget it sometimes, man."

"I'll write you a speeding ticket the next time you're in Forks to remind you," Seth sneered playfully. Paul shook his head before his eyes rested on me.

"Who is this?" he asked expectantly, his light brown eyes focusing in on me. I gulped, looking nervously up at Seth.

"This…this is Regan," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I noticed with some pride the reverence he used when saying my name. "She's staying with Charlie and Mom for awhile."

Paul's eyes lit up with some recognition. "So this is Regan? I've um…heard so much about you."

"You have?" I asked nervously. I hoped to God he wasn't talking about the Brady situation.

"Yeah, of course! It's not every day a new pale face moves to town," he joked. I think I imagined it, but I could swear I felt Seth's hand tighten protectively on my shoulder. He gave a forced laugh and looked over his shoulder as if to see who was listening.

"No, I'm kidding. It's wonderful to meet you, Regan. Sue will take good care of you," he said in a more serious tone. He gave me a sincere smile, flashing another row of perfectly straight, white teeth. I smiled back, feeling his genuineness despite his teasing.

"Ignore Paul," Seth said once Paul walked away.

"He was nice."

Seth snorted. "I think you're the first person besides Rachel to ever say that."

"Who's Rachel?""His imp—his…wife," he stuttered, looking away. He winced a little as his feelings were hurt.

"Do you…like…like her or something?" I asked, looking up at him. I glanced at the beautiful, raven-haired woman that stood next to Paul, chatting with a few of the younger looking guys.

"No!" Seth laughed. "I just— I'm never sure how Rachel puts up with Paul. No, she's like a sister or a cousin to me…no, no, no," he laughed.

I sighed a little in relief, letting my jealousy bubble down in my stomach. His words were like Alka Seltzer on my frazzled insides. They twisted at the mere thought of Seth liking a girl. I was jealous.

Why are you so jealous? Don't be crazy…you can't have him! My conscience screamed. I looked over at Seth's hand that was still resting comfortably on my shoulder. He followed my gaze and let it drop.

"Sorry. So…are you hungry?"

I shook my head. Between Seth's weird behavior and my avoiding Brady, I couldn't have eaten if my life depended on it.

"No, you go ahead. I couldn't eat right now if I wanted to," I muttered. Seth looked at me strangely, but nodded.

"Okay. Well, Claire is over there. Can you hang out with her while I make myself a plate?"

I felt myself relax a little at Seth's willingness to hang out with a teenager. He must have known that I was uncomfortable around all these new people, and his protectiveness was sweet. I swooned a little.

"Uhm…okay," I said, following him over to where Claire was. She gave me a weird look when I walked up with Seth, but I widened my eyes at her to urge her to keep her mouth shut. Luckily she understood but gave me a look that clearly told me I would be explaining later.

"Have you met Zeke?" she asked once Seth had left. I looked at the boy standing next to Quil, realizing he was staring right at me.

"Oh—um…hi," I stuttered, holding out my hand.

"Hey!" he said energetically, shaking it. It felt like he was burning my hand in his hot grasp, and I couldn't hold it long. "I'm Zeke."

"Regan. I live with Charlie," I said, hoping to spare some explanations. He nodded, his deep brown eyes lighting up.

"Chief Swan— that must be fun. So you live with a cop and have another one constantly hanging around, mooching food?"

"Yeah, Seth is always around," I laughed. He grinned at me, and I instantly liked him. I felt a little sick when I realized why: he was like a younger version of Seth.

"So did you really fall out of your window?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and sighed, gripping my crutches.

"Yes, I did," I admitted sheepishly.

"Did it hurt? Oh god, I can't even imagine. That must have sucked."

"Yeah, well," I said, slightly overwhelmed with his chatter. He was tall and muscular, like all of the other boys in La Push, but his wide smile and the way his eyes danced really reminded me of Seth. It was uncanny.

"Yay. You've met Quil's cousin," Claire said flatly.

"Oh shut it, Claire. You only hate me coz I'm the only person on the planet that talks more than you do."

"I do," she said matter-of-factly, making a face.

"And you look cuter when you do it," Quil interjected in a dippy voice, shoving her shoulder lightly. She swatted his arm and wrinkled her nose at him, but they shared a giggle.

Babysitter? Hmmm, I thought as I watched them. Quil was so much older than Claire but that didn't seem to stop them from having a normal friendship. Could Seth and I be like that?

I talked to Zeke, Claire, and Quil for awhile as I stood with my back to the warm fire. I liked Zeke—he was friendly, talkative, and hard not to like—just like Seth. Quil was also friendly, and he made fun of Claire a lot which I liked. She would pretend to get mad, and he would pretend to apologize, but I couldn't miss the mischievous looks in both of their eyes when they joked and teased each other. They made the whole looming age gap thing look effortless. I briefly wondered if Claire ever had 'not-so-friendly' thoughts about Quil ever. I made a note to ask her that later.

"Those must suck," Zeke said, pointing to my crutches. I nodded, giving him an exasperated look. "Let's go sit," he offered, motioning to a toasty looking log by the fire. I followed him, sitting down next to him on the uneven spot. His leg almost touched mine as we sat, and I could feel the heat radiating off of him and the fire.

We chatted easily about the differences between Forks and La Push for a few minutes, as well as Arizona. Zeke had never been down south and was curious what the desert was like. I found the Zeke was almost as easy to talk to as Seth. I glanced at Zeke sideways, rubbing my lips together as I thought. Could Zeke help me figure out a question that had been plaguing me? I had to at least give it a try.

"So, let me in on a secret," I began, glancing across the fire at Seth. He was talking and laughing with a group of older looking guys while eating a disgustingly overloaded hot dog.

"Shoot," Zeke laughed, rubbing his hands together.

"Why are you guys all so hot? Your hand was so warm, and…and Seth is always hot too. And Leah…" I added, looking sideways at him. "What's the deal?"

"Oh, that's easy. It's just a Native thing. Our people, um—we're used to being in this cold weather, and uh—our bodies just got used to it. We're warm blooded. Would you buy the excuse of evolution?"

"Not really, but it explains it more than anything."

Zeke nodded, laughing. He was nice; his face lit up like Seth's, but I didn't feel as…guilty talking to Zeke. Zeke was allowed.

"So how old are you?" I asked.

"Seventeen," he answered.

"And you don't go to high school? I've never seen you," I pointed out. He smiled.

"Well, my family lived up in Seattle for a few years because of my dad's job but…a few years ago I got, um…sick—yeah, and…we moved home so that I could be closer to family."

I paused, looking at my new friend skeptically. "Well that was a well-rehearsed answer."

He smiled, but gave me a look that clearly told me that was all the information I'd be getting on that subject.

"You're so funny. What's with the twenty questions?" He laughed. I shrugged, jamming my mitten-clad hands further into my pockets.

"No reason. It's just that…you're all so big and buff and hot - temperature wise-" I quickly added, "and I was just curious."

"Yeah yeah," Zeke nodded, giving me a knowing grin.

"So, you're seventeen? Why haven't I seen you at school? Or do you go to school on the rez?"

"Yeah, I'm home schooled for now, but next semester I'm going to go to school at Forks High."

"That's cool."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm excited. I've got to get out of the house. Nothing sucks more than having your mom try to teach you Sex Ed."

"Gross," I agreed.

Zeke suddenly looked up, his eyes darting to look behind me. He grinned knowingly before standing.

"Just keeping your seat warm," he laughed, smacking Seth a casual high five. Seth made a face, but grinned right back at him. If I didn't know he was Quil's cousin, I would have sworn he was Seth's younger brother.

"I'm sure," Seth said. He moved over as Zeke stood up, sliding into his spot on the log.

"Nice meeting you, Regan. It'll be nice to know someone when I start school."

"Yeah, you can sit with us at lunch. See ya," I said, giving him a small wave.

I watched Zeke lope away on his long legs, joining some of the younger looking boys I recognized from the party the first night in La Push. My stomach tensed as un uneasy feeling settled over me; I felt sick and nervous and clammy all at the same time. Suddenly, I locked eyes with the one person I never wanted to look at again: Brady.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	26. Chapter 26

Regan

"Oh God," I muttered, looking away quickly. Seth leaned forward, breathing his warm scent onto me. I felt a little better, but my stomach still lurched at the sight of him. Brady. How could I have been so stupid?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing –nothing," I mumbled again, letting my hair fall down in front of my face slightly. I hoped Brady couldn't see my burning cheeks in the darkness. When I looked up, he was still staring at me. A dark look crossed his face before he looked away. I felt like I was going to hurl everything I'd eaten in the past two weeks.

"He won't bother you."

"What?" I asked, wincing slightly as my stomach churned. His voice was muffled in my ears as my heart began to pound. It felt like it was slamming against my chest. I watched Seth look up and meet Brady's gaze over the fire, and….and I thought I heard his chest rumble. Not like a cough…but…like a growl.

"Seth?" I mumbled, looking down at my lap. He scooted closer to me, and I calmed down a little at the feeling of his arm limbs so close to mine.

"Are you alright?" he asked, leaning even closer. The combination of Seth leaning close to me and the humiliation of Brady's snarky looks were making me dizzy.

"I need to— I need to get away," I said, struggling to stand. Seth was behind me in a flash, lifting me up by my armpits. I bounced on one leg for a second, wobbling back and forth. Why did it always make me want to faint when he touched me? I thought as he steadied me. A few people looked at us, but we were pretty much ignored by everyone but Brady. I could still feel his eyes on me and it made me want to throw up. Between almost fainting and almost throwing up, I wasn't feeling so hot.

"Regan, what…" he asked, gripping me to keep me from falling. I breathed deeply, trying to calm myself down. Seth glanced over his shoulder in the direction of Brady. I thought I heard him growl again, but my head was spinning so much at this point that I could barely stand it. I felt dizzy and out of control.

"Come on," he said quietly, and before I knew it, he had maneuvered me up onto his back, piggyback style. I gasped in surprise, my arms gripping him around his neck tightly. He chuckled, and I could feel it vibrating in his back. He seemed to ignore the curious looks from his friends as he pushed carefully past them, and we broke out onto the breezy, moonlit beach. "Where are we going?" I breathed, still feeling slightly woozy.

He chortled again, and I could feel the vibration against my chest. It was…pleasant.

"I dunno. Anywhere. Away. Does it matter?"

"No.""Didn't think so. You looked like you needed to get away."

"I did."

"I know," He said, turning to give me a sideways glance on his back. I felt myself smile, and it felt really good.

"Did you now…" I laughed, my stomach fluttering nervously. Although this time it was for an entirely different reason—I was alone with Seth.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

He walked with me on his back for a few minutes, winding carefully around the rocky beach. First Beach was nothing like the beaches I had seen in pictures or in movies; this beach was cold and windy, and the shore was littered with jagged, white rocks and rough looking sand. But I wasn't really concerned with the shitty sand on First Beach in that moment. I was alone with Seth. Not just hanging out in the living room while Sue and Charlie were talking in the kitchen. He had taken me-no, stolen me away from Brady and all of his awful-ness and now here we were, walking down the moonlit beach at night. Seth bounced me playfully on his back a few times, and I heard myself laugh - really laugh. I couldn't help but think that for some reason I was happier right now than I had felt in eons. But why? Was it because I had narrowly escaped humiliation via Brady? Or was it because I was temporarily free of my house arrest? Or was it because I was with him?

I rested my chin on his fleece-clad shoulder, breathing in his calming scent. How a guy could smell that good was completely beyond me; he always smelled freshly showered. However, he usually smelled like he had taken a shower in mountain rain or something cheesy like that instead of a regular shower with a bar of soap. I couldn't figure out how he always smelled so good, other than I was losing my mind. Inhaling again, I reveled in his clean, spicy, masculine scent. That day in the Bronco when he had picked me up from school hadn't been a fluke - he always smelled this good. If I had my way I would coat a fuzzy blanket with that smell and curl up in it to sleep with for days…that's how good he smelled to me.

"Pretty night," he commented, tipping me on his back from side to side. I heard myself laugh again, and he joined me this time. The sound of our laughter in the wind was like music…no…better than music. How was it possible that a piggy back ride down the beach could make me so euphoric?

Now, I wasn't a thin girl by any means. I was short but definitely curvy and muscular from yoga, yet Seth carried me like I was nothing but a backpack with a few school books in it. I felt him breathe in the ocean air as if he was enjoying the dark, breezy night.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked after a few quiet moments. Seth shrugged, bending playfully at the waist to jostle me again on his back. I gripped him tighter, but… for some reason, I knew he wouldn't ever drop me.

"Don't you trust me?" He joked.

I shrugged, leaning against his back. "Strangely…yes, I do."

"Oh, so you trust me? You trust me not to drop you?" He teased again with a laugh. He pretended to lose his grip on the backs of my knees, jostling me again. I just giggled. I felt like such a moron - giggling all the time when I was around him. I wasn't the type of girl who giggled. But here I was…

"You won't drop me," I laughed.

"Yeah, you're right," he admitted with a shrug. I felt my heart start to do that hammering thing in my chest again. Was it possible for your heart to explode? I wasn't sure. I had a feeling that if he kept this sweet-I'll-do-anything-for-you act up, I would surely find out.

"You okay?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at me. I thought my heart was going to thunder out of my chest when his eyes met mine.

"I'll be alright. I just…don't like someone there."

"I don't like him either."

"Brady?"

"Who else?" he chuckled, continuing down the beach. The waves crashed not far from his boots as he trodded down the sand, and the smell of saltwater hung in the air.

"So why are you friends with him?" I asked.

"I'm not really. He's just…always around. I've gotten used to his jerkiness but…it's a little harder when he's giving you dirty looks across a bonfire. I want to kick him in the—"

Seth stopped, snorting to himself. "Well, you get the picture. Brady is— he's a good guy deep down, but he's had an easy life and it's made him a bit of a cocky brat. He's a jerk most of the time, but— he's not all bad, Regan. He's just hard to like."

"You're telling me," I said, complete with an eye roll. Seth just chuckled and kept walking.

"We don't have to go back there."

"No, I don't want to…"

"What?" Seth prodded.

"Let him win," I admitted, lifting my chin off his shoulder. "I…I take it you…you know?"

Seth shrugged, walking over to a large boulder. Behind it was a spot where there had obviously been another bonfire at one point. A large piece of driftwood lay next to a circle of ashes, and he walked over to it. He put me down, and I think my whole body tingled for a few seconds as he helped me lower myself onto the log. He crouched down, tucking his long legs underneath him to sit next to my legs on the ground. I could feel the heat radiating through his fleece pullover onto my jean-clad leg, and I was glad for both the contact and the warmth that it brought.

The silence loomed between us. I could tell that he was being polite by not saying anything, but something was hanging on the tip of his tongue.

"I—I know," he said slowly. His hand crept over to my cast; his long fingers playing with a piece of the plaster that had come lose. It was an easy gesture, and I took comfort in the fact that he would touch me so casually. It should have given me glee deep down in the crevices of my heart that he felt so comfortable touching me…but that happiness was much higher to the surface than it should have been.

"I didn't mean to…let it go that far. We, uhm…did it," I heard myself admit. Had I lost my mind? Why was I confiding this much to him? I really was going crazy.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "It's okay. I…I told Claire about it, and I felt better…even though she called me an idiot for doing it with him. I just— the truth hurts, I guess," I laughed. "Claire really called me out."

"She has a tendency to do that, yes. Well, everyone makes mistakes, Regan. You're only human."

"You're forgiving me way too easily. Good thing I have Claire, I guess."

Seth paused, and I could practically hear him thinking over what I had said.

"There's nothing to forgive. You made a mistake, you obviously feel bad about it, and I'm guessing it won't, um…happen…again?"

"Ulgh! I feel sick just thinking about it," I admitted, rubbing my temples. Seth chuckled.

"We all have done things we regret."

"I bet you've never done anything that stupid."

"How would you know?" he challenged, flashing his white teeth at me from the ground. I shrugged at him, brushing my hair out of my face.

"And what do you think of me now?"

He was quiet again before he shrugged. He looked up at me from the ground, his face blank. "I think, Regan— I think you're a wonderful person who…is just having a crappy time of things. I don't think it was good to—well, what happened with Brady that night, but…I don't look down on you because of it."

"It was a mistake."

"I know. He knows it too; he just wants to be a jerk about it. That's what Brady does. But really…I know you're not—"

I knew he wanted to say something along the lines of slutty, but he cut himself off and continued to play with my cast. I looked down at my lap, shivering slightly because of the chilly wind. I was so busy staring at my feet that I barely noticed Seth standing up. When his fleece jacket came down on my shoulders, encasing me in the leftover warmth from his body, I was assaulted once again by his comforting smell.

"You're Regan and that's all you need to be. You let me deal with Brady."

His words were simple and sincere, but it still sent a chill down my spine; I wasn't cold.

I smiled shyly as he sat down next to me on the log. I was disappointed when he kept his distance.

"Thanks," I said quietly, even though I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at him and his big, brown eyes that made me feel like melted chocolate on the inside. What was it about this guy that made me turn to sap?

"No problem. I was hot anyway," he said casually, pushing the sleeves of his long sleeved t-shirt up. The fabric of his simple, cotton shirt was a pretty blue that set off his coppery skin and dark eyes. The way he pushed it up over his forearms made me think bad thoughts about what those muscular arms could do…

"I'm always hot," he laughed.

Yes—yes, you are. NO! My mind took a turn for the worse.

"Are you sure?"

He looked over at me, his eyes looking at his jacket on me. "Yeah, no worries," he said, flashing me another grin. I looked down at the ground, trying to calm my pounding heart. Taking a walk down the beach was supposed to calm me, not make me more worked up. Seth licked his lips as he jiggled his leg on the sand. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then clearly changed his mind.

"So— what do you think of my sister?"

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, no longer feeling like I had to hide. "Leah? She's great. I want to go to Seattle – that sounds like fun."

"It is. I've only been there once or twice but – it's a great town. You would like it. I could drive you and Claire sometime."

"That would be nice," I said earnestly. "I do like Leah though. She's very…different from how I pictured her."

"Yeah," Seth laughed. "She used to be quite different," he said with a cough. "Ask her why she moved to Seattle sometime."

"Was it a guy? It's almost always about a guy."

Seth nodded, clasping his hands. "It was. She's cool with it now, but…she didn't used to be."

"Are you suggesting I have a heart to heart with your sister about boys? Really, Seth?"

"Hey, I'm just saying— she knows about stuff like that."

I grinned to myself as I listened to him stumble and trip over his words. He was trying so hard, and I really shouldn't be giving him such a hard time, but…I couldn't help myself.

"What makes you think I want to talk about boys?" I replied, looking at him sideways.

His eyes widened slightly as he tried not to laugh. "Well I don't, but…I wanted you to feel better."

"You'd talk about boys for me?" I giggled. "I'm just kidding," I said, patting him on the knee.

He nodded his head good naturedly, clasping and unclasping his hands together. "Yeah, well…that's what friends do, right? They talk about…shopping; and boys; and school; and stupid guys who give them snarky looks," he grimaced, and I guessed he felt about as cool as he sounded.

"Well, we could talk about girls."

I couldn't believe I had said that. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I felt like smacking myself for being so stupid, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to know why Seth didn't have a girlfriend, and the question burned on the tip of my tongue, and I tried to fight it back with no avail.

"Girls!" he laughed loudly. "Oh sheesh, uhm…."

"Seth– so…why don't you have a girlfriend?"

He looked over at me, his head moving so fast I thought he had hurt himself. "What?" he asked. He sounded almost…hurt.

"Why—w-why don't you ever go out with girls?" I asked.

Seth looked away quickly, and I could see his brown eyes searching the ground in front of him. It was almost like he was hoping an answer would jump up out of the sand and present itself to him.

"I do. I mean…I did, once upon a time—gah, I don't know!" he laughed, the deep laughter vibrating through him and through to my leg. I looked down, embarrassed that I had asked him such a personal question. He was an adult, and it was rude of me to ask him that. As always, Seth was a good sport about it. He stood up, looking antsy. He bounced on his feet a few times nervously before plopping back down on the ground beside my leg. He looked like he was going to come out of his skin.

"I'm sorry. You're an adult, that was rude of me to ask you," I lamented. Even though my mom wasn't around a lot growing up, I still at least had manners.

Maybe one day I'll learn to use them, I thought to myself with a smirk. I looked at Seth, and he was frowning slightly.

"I'm not that grown up," he insisted, sounding child-like. I giggled, shoving him on his muscled shoulder. Touching him made him seem more real – he was so charmingly juvenile in my mind when I thought of him – at least as far as personality and mannerisms go. I expected to catch him stealing cookies or putting out fake vomit to scare his mother. I forgot that he was older sometimes, even though that was a very dangerous thing for me to do. But…touching his solid, muscular shoulder reminded me that he was definitely a grown up.

And definitely not for me.

"I date…" he said slowly. He looked up at me from the ground and played with my cast again. "But I just don't have time for all that. I mean, work and…" he trailed off, looking out at the ocean.

"When you're not at work, you're at Sue's. That could be girlfriend time."

Since when was I so brave with my words? I was on a roll, and I knew that I shouldn't be prying; I might uncover answers that I didn't want. But…I had to know. Why didn't Seth have a girlfriend?

"I…I don't know," he stuttered. "Do you care that I'm there all the time?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. And Sue loves it. She's always talking about what she's going to cook for you."

I looked over, watching his face. He looked…disappointed?

"Family is important to me. I…I like spending time with my mom, and Charlie…and…and you."

I cringed a little on the inside as he referred to me as family. While I was happy he was so comfortable with me and that we were obviously friends now, I wanted him to think of a different way…I cringed again when I realized how forbidden that idea was. Why were things you couldn't have always so tantalizing? I shook my head at myself and tried to stay focused. I wanted answers.

"I…I like having you there too. Who else will make Charlie uncomfortable? And who else will Sue hit on the back of the head for saying goofy shit?"

Seth chuckled, but his face returned to its somber state a few seconds later. He was clearly deep in thought. "Yeah—yeah, you're right. Who else?"

"Exactly."

He frowned again and looked like he wanted to say something. It got very quiet, and I was suddenly feeling a little awkward. I realized that I shouldn't be here with him like this – it was wrong. I was feeling things for Seth that I shouldn't be, and it was not good for me to be out here with him –alone –on this beautiful beach with the moonlight shining down on his chiseled, perfectly tan face. His warm body shouldn't be pressed against my leg, and it shouldn't give me the feelings that it did. Being alone on a deserted beach with a man – not just a boy, but a man – shouldn't make me feel this content. I shouldn't feel unsatisfied by not having myself wrapped in his arms.

But once again, here I was…knowing that I shouldn't feel the way I did about Seth.

When had it happened? I turned my head and enjoyed the simple view of the beautiful man in front of me as he gazed out at the ocean; his black eyebrows furrowed into a slight frown, his lips pressed together. When had he suddenly become something other than the dorky cop who hung around at his mommy's house, asking stupid questions, and smiling too much? I didn't know, and I didn't care.

My newfound feelings for him were wrong, and yet—I didn't feel sorry. Knowing Seth was the first thing that had made me feel alive for the first time in months. I felt content. Complete. Cherished. I didn't want to give that feeling up. I wouldn't.

I felt like a piece of crap for making Seth feel bad about hanging out at his mom's house, and the last thing I wanted to do was make him feel like I didn't want him there. In fact, it was the exact opposite. When Seth was there, it felt like home. I like him being at Sue and Charlie's entirely too much, and at the moment, it was scaring me so much that it made my fists clench nervously.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking up at me. He leaned against my leg in a friend-ish way, bumping me slightly. I felt my heart speed up.

"Yeah. I didn't mean to make you feel like I…"

"Like what?"

There was a pregnant pause. "Like I don't like you being at Sue's. It's nice to…have some company."

"Really?" he asked hopefully, looking up at me from his spot on the ground. I nodded, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind my ears as it blew around my face. The ocean air was alive and breezy tonight, and I couldn't believe I was actually outside. I hated being outside, but with Seth there— I would probably camp on this beach for the rest of the night.

Stop it, I chided myself.

"I just know my mom misses Leah, and I think she really likes having you around. I mean, Charlie makes her happy and all, and he's good company, but she loves having you in the house. I think she feels like she has a daughter again."

I sighed, looking down at my hands. "I feel like I have a mom again too sometimes," I admitted quietly. Seth smiled, flashing his white teeth.

"You should tell her that…someday. She would...probably keel over in her mom jeans."

I laughed, shoving his shoulder again. "Shut up. Your mom is a cool mom for the most part. She does not wear mom jeans! She barely looks like she's forty, Seth."

"She's older than that! You're kidding yourself."

"Well, she'd have to be what—almost…forty…five? Six?—to have you, I mean. She doesn't look that old, but…"

I had seen my golden chance to ask Seth how old he was. I had been rude enough tonight and didn't want to push and prod anymore, but…my curiosity was killing me.

"She's old enough. Tell her she looks thirty, that'll make her happy," Seth laughed. "I was just kidding; I know my mom is cool. That's why she doesn't mind me mooching and coming around for meals all the time. Besides, I love the Cullen's house, but it's very…empty."

I nodded. "I can see that. It's beautiful, but…"

"Lonely," he said quietly, looking down at his lap. I watched him stare at his other hand for a second as it rested on his propped up knee. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Was the only reason Seth came around was because he was lonely? Surely he didn't have to be – he could get girls if he wanted to. My heart panged with pain as I realized he could probably walk into any bar and get gaggles of girls to admire and flirt with him. Instead, he spent his weekends in a broken recliner, repairing fishing hooks, and drinking Vitamin R with Charlie. I had never been so glad that he was a geek in my life as I pictured what skanky girls in a bar would do to Seth.

"I should get you back—back to the fire," he asked. "It's…cold out here," he added with a shrug. He stood, untangling his long limbs and straightening his body. I stared up at him in the darkness, wishing I could see his features in the dim light. He laughed as he stretched.

"Why so glum?"

I shrugged. "Just thinking."

He didn't say anything else as he walked behind me and helped me stand. I had left my crutches back at the bonfire and was pretty much helpless at this point. But with Seth—I just felt safe.

"Hop on!" he urged, turning around. I looked up at his back and made a disgusted sound. He looked over his shoulder, laughing at me. He bent down and easily pulled me up onto his back, and we made our way back to the bonfire. He snuck back up the party as quietly as possible, helping me over to my crutches again. I had a feeling he didn't want people to know he had stolen me away and taken me down the beach.

"Where have you been?" Claire hissed, hurrying over to me. Seth gave me a knowing grin as he handed me my crutches. I saw him dart to the cooler and pull a beer out of it, joining Quil. I felt myself blush, and I looked down at the handles of my crutches.

"We just took a walk. No big deal, Claire," I insisted, hoping to shut her up. Her eyes widened, and she looked across the fire. I followed her gaze and saw Seth staring over Quil's shoulder. Right at me.

I gulped, looking away. "Just shut up," I hissed. She closed her open, gaping mouth. "I felt so bad. He had to carry me the whole way," I giggled to Claire, and she smirked at me knowingly. Ulgh. There I was, giggling again. If I wouldn't have been so giddy I would have wanted to smack myself for acting so…girlish.

"Hope you made it worth his while," a voice sneered as it walked past. "Oh wait, you always do."

The hair on my neck stood straight up. Brady.

I looked up just in time to see him glance over his shoulder as he walked around to the other side of the fire. His eyes met mine, and I instantly felt ashamed. I was embarrassed for what I had done with Brady; I was ashamed of how I had behaved these past few months; and most of all, and I was humiliated that Seth had been there to witness the entire thing.

I looked down at my feet, and Claire put her hand reassuringly on my elbow to comfort me. When I looked back up, I gasped.

I glanced across the fire just in time to see Seth's' fist connecting with Brady's nose.


	27. Chapter 27

Seth

I went through two emotions as my fist connected with Brady's face.

As the cartilage in his nose cracked under the blunt force of my fist, I felt nothing but pure satisfaction racing through my veins. Pleasure surged through me at the sight of his scrunched up, pitiful face. The delightful sound echoed in my ears as I watched in slow motion as his nose was jerked to the side.

Then…I felt the 'oh shit' effect as I realized I had an audience – my pack brothers, my sister, and most importantly, Regan. As soon as I realized what I had done, I looked to the side to see my imprint's horrified face.

Shit.

My eyes met Regan's as my fist dropped to my side and as Brady doubled over in pain. I looked to the side to catch my sister's scornful gaze.

'Oh my God' she mouthed to me. I looked away. I would deal with Leah later.

"You asshole! You fucking hit me!" he growled as he cupped his face. I barely noticed as he stumbled down onto his knees.

Good. Let him suffer.

Rage boiled through me, yet at the same time I realized that I was happy I had punched Brady. I was gleeful that I had broken his nose. I wish I could have broken more of his bones in front of Regan. It was almost barbaric; I wanted to show her how much I could make him hurt for hurting her. The barbaric side of me wanted her to see just how far happy go lucky Seth would go for her. I wanted her to see him bleeding on the ground in a pathetic heap. That's what he gets for messing with you, Regan. The territorial wolf inside of me howled with satisfaction as I watched him writhe.

I didn't even feel like myself.

"You deserved it," I growled somewhat nonchalantly, my eyes meeting Regan's. I barely cared that I had just punched my pack mate in front of everyone. All I cared about was Regan.

Her eyes were wide and horror stricken as she watched Brady bleeding on the ground. All conversations had come to a halt as everyone stared at me.

"Hey," Jake said urgently, appearing at my side in a flash. "What's up with you?" he asked in a low voice. I tore my gaze away from Regan to look at Brady again. Collin bent over to inspect Brady, cocking an eyebrow at me as blood oozed from Brady's face.

"Hold still," he muttered before cracking his nose back into place. Brady howled in pain, and the wolf inside me smiled. I tried to keep a straight face for Regan's benefit. She still looked completely horrified.

"Chill out—at least 'til later." I looked up into Jake's dark, serious eyes. It wasn't a command, but it was a request from my Alpha that I was going to respect. He didn't care if we 'worked things out' as wolves - we healed ten times faster in wolf form, and our wolf brains worked differently. We were almost purely animals in wolf form, minds included. We got angry, we fought, we got up and phased back and let it go.

"I'm done," I promised, eyeing Brady. I looked down, noticing a small trickle of blood on my knuckle from where I had made contact with Brady's face. The cut stung, but I didn't mind. I watched as Regan looked between Brady and me, Claire hanging onto her arm with her mouth in a wide 'O'. I groaned inwardly as I realized Claire would have plenty to say about this little incident.

Jacob looked over his shoulder and everyone that stood around the fire suddenly had something else important to talk about, quickly going back to minding their own business.

"Just go," Jacob muttered, rolling his eyes as Brady glared up at him from the ground.

"Sorry Jake," I mumbled halfheartedly.

Brady stood up, gave me a glare from a safe distance, and began wiping the blood away from his nose. I brushed past Quil and Claire.

"You broke his nose, moron," Quil muttered as I walked by. I gave him a glare. My best friend quieted, realizing that I was struggling with something more than a little scuffle. Someone had fucked with my imprint, and of age or not, I still considered Regan mine. True, I had gotten over the fact that Brady had fucked her before…well, not necessarily me, but I had gotten over the fact that he had been with her in such an intimate way. That I would let go. It happened before I had even met or imprinted on her, and as pissed as I was…I couldn't hold that against him. However, once I had imprinted he should have respected that and known not to mess with her. It was as simple as that. However, Brady was a cocky ass who didn't know how to get attention in positive ways. He pretty much did and said whatever he wanted, consequences be damned. In my mind he could do whatever he wanted….he just needed to leave Regan alone. Even though he was my pack brother, I was more than happy to punch him in the face as many times as it took to get the message across.

I stopped in front of Regan who was gripping the handles of her crutches tightly. She stared up at me with….fear. I began to feel sick. What had I done?

"Do you want to stay here?" I asked her in a quiet voice. Regan blinked her big, green eyes, and I heard my heart beat a little faster. Even though I wasn't sure how to define our relationship, that girl still had a power over me that I didn't understand.

"Uh…Claire and I were just going to go to her house, and…"

"I'm giving Claire a ride," Quil said with a pointed look. I nodded, understanding what he meant. It was a rare thrill, but sometimes I knew he would phase into wolf form and give Claire rides on his back. It was seldom done and talked about even less in the pack, but I knew that tonight that was what he meant. My heart soared as I realized that I would be the one giving Regan a ride to Claire's house in my truck. Regan stood several feet away, staring at me with wide eyes as everyone else went back to the party.

"I'll um…see you at my house in twenty?" Claire asked, tentatively. It was the first time I had ever heard Claire use that tone of voice. Had I actually scared Claire?

Regan looked at her, breaking her strange, trance-like stare with me. "Um…yeah. My bag is just…over there," she stuttered, blinking a few times as she looked towards the benches. I walked over, grabbed her overnight bag, and looked at her expectantly. Claire handed helped her readjust her crutches, and Regan gave me another unsure look before settling them under her arms to walk. I paused, my eyes darting up to meet Quil's. Had I actually scared Regan as well? My heart began to pound in my chest as I began to walk cautiously beside her, looking to the side to make sure she was okay.

I watched Quil and Claire walk towards the dark parking lot of the beach. I knew he would phase and get to take her home, and I was jealous. Would Regan ever accept me in my wolf form? Would I send her screaming for the hills? I knew Claire had known about the whole 'wolf' thing ever since she was a toddler, but she still didn't know about imprinting or that Quil had imprinted on her. All she knew was that he was a shape shifter and that he was somewhat frozen in age. I couldn't blame my friend for that - Claire was a smart girl and she had his aging-thing figured out when she was twelve. He had been caught. Now, what would happen when she realized he wasn't aging because he was waiting for her…that was another story.

I looked at Regan again and tried to gauge her reaction. Had I terrified her?

"You ready?"

"Mmmhmm," she squeaked quietly, avoiding my eyes. I felt my heart plummet.

My shoulders dropped as Leah suddenly stepped in front of me. Regan was hobbling along in front of us and didn't notice Leah's stealthy appearance.

"Are you going to be able to handle yourself?" she hissed under her breath. Her dark eyes were blazing, and I knew I'd be hearing about this later.

"I'm fine," I insisted, rolling my eyes at her. I glanced over her shoulder as Regan was slowly making her way away from the fire and towards the parked cars. I was worried about her trying to navigate the darkness on her crutches…"Seth, you have to be careful when you're angry."

"Don't give me the phasing speech, Leah. Okay? I've been phasing for over a decade. I think I know how to control myself."

"You're the one that broke Brady's face," she said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"I didn't break his…" I trailed off, glancing back at Brady as he cradled his face in his hands — I bet it was throbbing. "Okay. So maybe I broke his face. But I would never hurt Regan."

"I'm just looking out for her is all," Leah snapped sharply.

"And you think I'm not?"

"That's not what I said."

"That's what you insinuated."

"Forget what I insinuated. Are you okay to be alone with her right now?"

"I've got my anger under control. Honestly, it's all out of my system now. I'm not fifteen Leah. And of course I'm calm enough to be alone with her!" I hissed back, looking over Leah's shoulder again.

"Seth…"

"You're out of your wolfy little mind if you think I'd hurt Regan. I lov-" I stopped short of saying 'love.'

Leah's eyebrows rose instantly, waiting to hear me say that I loved Regan out loud. I had admitted it deep in my mind while I wolf form, but…out loud was different.

"I would never hurt her. I'd throw myself off a cliff before hurting her. I'm calm now."

Leah gave me a feisty nod, re-crossing her arms. "I'd toss you myself."

"Leah…shut it," I muttered, looking over her should again. I could still see Regan…good.

"I'm not worried about you being calm enough. Are you okay to be alone with her?"

I narrowed my eyes at my sister. "What are you getting at?"

Leah gave me a skeptical gaze. "I saw you two leave together earlier—what gives?"

"You've seen inside my head. You know it isn't like that with her. She wanted to get away from Brady, so I took her up the beach for a bit."

"Uh huh— Mom is right, Seth…she's seventeen."

"Something that is thrown in my face every day, Leah."

"Just making sure—"

"Leah—stop it! You've seen inside my mind. How much clearer can it be? I don't feel that way—at least not yet. Believe me. I couldn't hide it from you—I never had been able to hide anything from you."

"I know," she admitted, nodding. I felt the anxiousness in my stomach begin to calm.

I watched her stumble and hobble through the dark with my gifted eyesight. She wasn't far enough to be in any danger, but she was far enough away that I was sure she couldn't hear us.

"I'd give anything to be seventeen again and be able to feel that way about her. But…I'm not. I'm twenty seven. And somehow…somehow it knows…that she's not ready for me yet. I can't explain it, I-"

"I know Sethy," she said softly, patting my arm. "You're not going anywhere. Every day that passes she gets older."

"That's just it though. I don't want her to miss out on anything because she's…she's with me."

"Looking back someday, she'll be glad you were there."

"Yeah well…I don't want to talk about it now. I've gotta go. I'll be fine," I assured her, giving her a raised eyebrow. Leah grinned at me sheepishly.

"I know you would never hurt Regan."

"Of course not."

She kicked at the dirty ground with the toe of her boot. "Cuz you know…if you ever hurt her in any way, I really would have to come after you."

I grinned suddenly. "Look at you…going all 'old Leah' on me now."

She shrugged, glancing at the fire. "Yeah, well…that girl might be my little sister someday if you play your cards right…. so don't screw it up like a jackass."

"I'm not a jackass."

"No, but you grin like one."

I shook my head and drew my sister against my chest for a hug. "I love you, Leah. But sometimes…"

"I know. Same here," she said with a shrug. After reassuring Leah once again that I was fine, I trotted to catch up with Regan as she slowly made her way up the darkened path towards the parking lot where my Bronco was located. I'd deal with Brady later.

"Are you okay?" I asked her once I knew we were out of earshot of the other guys. Regan hobbled along slowly. My heart panged when I realized that I wished I was the one with the broken ankle – not her.

"Seth…you—"

"I know," I muttered, shaking my head. I knew what she was going to say. She was going to say the same exact thing Quil had— that I was an idiot and that I had broken Brady's nose. Couldn't she just be happy with me for defending her honor? I waited for her to speak again.

"Stupid oaf," she grumbled, shaking her head. I tried not to smile. When we finally reached my truck, I helped her inside, handing her the seatbelt. She took it with a chagrined look, buckling herself in. I was around the front in a flash, starting the loud engine to get the heat going. I looked over at her as the engine idled, unsure of what to say. Regan was biting her bottom lip, staring down at the colorful knobs of my radio that I had put in several years ago – the Bronco's stock stereo had crapped out long before I had owned it. She now stared at the dim lights as she gathered her thoughts that were clearly swirling around in her head. I wanted to let her speak first, but the anxious feeling I now felt was killing me.

"So…you're upset?" I asked stupidly. She looked at me, raising her eyebrows. Her mouth fell open slightly, and I could hear the surprised breath she inhaled.

"You broke his nose."

"I was there."

She was quiet again for a few moments. Her delicious, cherry almond scent threatened to cloud my senses, and I tried to stay with it for her. I had already made myself look like enough of a moron in front of this girl to last a lifetime. I knew she would want to talk about this—girls always wanted to talk about everything. I watched her close her mouth only to let it form a straight line.

Shit. She was pissed.

What came out of my imprint's mouth next completely shocked me. She wasn't pissed.

"You can't— you can't save me every time."

My head jerked up, looking over at her in shock. She wasn't pissed, she was disappointed. I felt like a kicked puppy. "What do you mean?"

Regan sighed, looking down shamefully at her lap. "Every time a guy insults me, or hurts my feelings, or—or just says something you don't like. You can't always rescue me by jacking him in the face, Seth."

I set my jaw defiantly as I looked at her sideways, cowering in the corner of the cab. I never understood until I met my imprint how one person could just come along and set my emotions on fire the way that she had. She brought out the best and worst in me.

"That's where you're wrong."

"Seth…."

God, I almost died every time my name came from that mouth. My emotions surged from one end of the spectrum to the other. I was proud for hitting Brady-no, elated. I was confused that Regan was so upset, and I was blindingly angry for him

I met her gaze and was almost shocked when her eyes were blazing. "You don't get it, do you? I'm an unlucky person who has the uncanny ability to always do the wrong thing at the wrong time, Seth. I'm bad luck— I get into sucky situations on my own, and I…I guess I just have to learn to deal with that— or not do it in the first place. I don't know. I can't always have you come tromping in, saving the day, by hitting people."

"So you didn't want me to give Brady what he deserved back there? That didn't make you feel the tiniest bit better?" I asked; my voice cracking. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

"Seth…that's not the point—"

"Just answer the question."

"Yes! Yes— I mean…I think he deserved it too, but I just can't have you rescuing me every time I get into trouble. I can't—I can't depend on you like that…in that way. That's not what friends are for."

"We must have a different definition of friends then," I said a little bitterly. She looked back down at her lap.

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of your friendship," she admitted quietly. "You can't spend all of your time following me around, picking up the pieces."

"That's not what I do!"

"Yes it is! When I fell out of my window? When Claire was pissed at me? I know you said something to her to make her forgive me, Seth—I know it! And just now…when Brady said that? Seth, cleaning up my messes would be a full-time job for you, and that's not fair—I 'm a train wreck!" she muttered, sliding down in her seat a little bit. Misery laced her features.

I sighed defiantly, shaking my head. She had no idea. I wasn't going anywhere - that was the whole idea. But how to get her to understand that?

"So why is it that you think you can't depend on me to help you?" I asked out of curiosity. "Why is it bad that I see you as a friend and someone I want to help?"

Regan was silent for a second. I heard her inhale quietly, her breath catching in her throat. My heart clenched miserably when I realized she was holding back tears. Tears.

"I can't depend on someone like that."

"Why?" I demanded, turning in my seat. "Why is it that you think you can't depend on me? I want to help you, Regan. I want to be your friend, and I want you to trust me and depend on me! Don't you get it?" I asked loudly, wincing at the sound of my own voice.

She was silent. She was so silent that it made my ears ring and my heart threaten to pound through my chest. She was so silent I could almost hear her broken heart trying to beat. And in that moment, I realized again how broken— how truly broken my imprint was.

"Everyone I depend on leaves."

If her heart was in pieces, mine was completely shattered. I felt the breath being sucked out of my lungs; I felt like I was drowning in sadness for the girl sitting next to me—not just any girl—my imprint. My imprint and her disappointing life, her shitty family, and her fear to depend on anyone around her.

"You're wrong about that," I whispered shakily, looking at her side profile as she sat there. Regan sighed, shifting uncomfortably on the seat.

"It's hard to be wrong when it's happened every single time. My dad left before I even got to know him. My mom has basically decided life is easier without me. How am I wrong?"

"Because I—I would never leave you. Sue would never leave; Charlie…"

"Everyone says that to sound good. But really—it's the truth," she argued back. She remained slumped against the seat of my Bronco, her breaths a little quick in her anger.

"Why do you think I would?"

"Because everyone does."

Her words were sharp and final. I had never heard her speak so angrily before and it shocked me. I felt like I barely knew her at all right now, and that scared me, and startled me all at the same time.

"Regan, you can't blame yourself because your mom is…"

"Just say it. She's a shitty mom. I was too much trouble, and she couldn't hack it, so she let Sue and Charlie take me. Did you know I'd only met Charlie once when I was a baby, Seth? She sent me to live with strangers. She'd rather have me live with strangers than live with her and have to deal with me."

"That's no your fault, so quit blaming yourself."

"Seth…just—" she shook her head, and I saw her eyes fill with tears. It was clear that my imprint felt completely abandoned.

"Regan, we're friends. And I…" I struggled to keep this as un-crazy and un-creepy as I could and not let her onto my true connection with her. I was willingly bound to this girl forever and not one part of me regretted that, but I couldn't let her know or realize it—yet. Someday I would tell her, but I knew it couldn't be now — even though my heart ached for her to know the truth. If only just so I could reassure her that I wasn't some creepy stalker. If only to reassure her that I was being honest and straight with her, and that I would always be there – for the good and the bad and everything in between. And I wouldn't be there for just any reason. I would be there because I wanted to be. It was where I belonged.

"And what, Seth? Are you trying to say you'll never let me down? Don't make promises you don't intend to keep," she snapped. Her hand angrily tucked a strand of hair behind her ears as she fumed on the seat.

"Why are you so angry with me all the sudden? We were on the beach and— I'm sorry I punched Brady, okay? I'm sorry. I don't want to be sorry because he deserved it and he knew it. But if it makes you any happier… then, I'm sorry."

She was silent again. I leaned against my own seat, sitting sideways to face her. I had been fighting myself all night to not touch her, but the need was almost excruciating now. I wanted to touch her —nothing cheap or wrong — I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her that I would never let her go for anything. If she only wanted me to be her friend for the rest of her life, then…so be it. I knew now more than ever that I would be whatever this girl wanted me to be for the rest of my life.

I watched a tear slide down her pink cheek in the darkness and gave up fighting. I slid over, unable to resist any more. I pulled her into my arms, ignoring the surprised gasp from her mouth. It took her a second, but she soon returned my embrace. I heard a choking noise and instantly loosened my arms to only have her tighten hers around me. I realized she was crying—not just crying, but sobbing.

"Please don't ever leave me, Seth."

I buried my face as innocently as I could into her hair, inhaling slightly. Her intoxicatingly sweet scent made my head spin; I felt really drunk for the first time in years. However, things had never made more sense to me than in that moment.

"Never."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After she had calmed down a bit, I drove her to Claire's house where I knew Claire and Quil would already be. He had run home with her on his back which I knew wouldn't have taken them long at all.

I looked over at Regan as I drove, a bit scared that I had crossed a line by hugging her. I nearly exploded with happiness when she took my hand and held it on her lap as I drove. It wasn't anything romantic or sensual; I knew she just needed me right now, and I was more than happy to be there for her. I think she would have held anyone's hand right now really; she was like a scared little animal that just wanted someone to hold onto for dear life. I didn't want her to be like this; scared, defenseless, lost. I wondered if there would ever be a day when she would be a proud, strong and independent woman. What would she be like? I knew that I would undoubtedly love her but…would that woman love me back?

"Will you be alright?" I asked as I pulled into Claire's driveway. Her hand released mine and I sighed at the loss of contact. She nodded, gripping the handle of her overnight bag. "I don't want to leave you upset."

"I'll be alright. I would be just as upset if I was at home."

My heart swelled when she called Sue and Charlie's house 'home'. Home. I wanted my Regan to feel like she was at home here so that she would never leave me.

"Good. Well…here let me help you. You sure you want to sleepover here?"

"I'm seventeen, Seth, not seven. This isn't my first sleepover."

"I know," I insisted petulantly. I saw a faint smile on her lips.

"Don't hit anyone else while I'm gone."

"Don't jump out of any windows."

"Seth…"

I opened my mouth to say something but stopped. She cracked a smile, and I was convinced enough to help her into Claire's house. When Claire threw the front door open, I was hit with Quil's wolfy scent as it lingered on her clothing. I gave her a quizzical look, and Claire looked back at me with a slightly guilty expression. It was soon replaced with a stern glare.

"What took you so long?" she huffed, pulling a hobbling Regan further into her house. I shrugged.

"Quil around?"

Blood rushed up to Claire's cheeks as she shifted nervously from one sock-clad foot to the other while she stood in the entryway of her parent's large house.

"He went…out," she said, giving me a pointed glare. I knew what that meant. That meant he was still in wolf form out back.

"Okay. Maybe I'll catch up with him," I muttered.

I turned to Regan, ignoring Claire's impatient stare. "Just call me or Sue if you need anything. She knows to pick you up in the morning, right?"

"I couldn't call you if I wanted to. No cell phone, remember?" Regan replied flatly. I nodded, rolling my eyes. How a teenager could go without a cell phone these days was beyond me.

"Okay, well just…"

"She'll be fine. We won't be doing any Chinese water torture or cliff jumping this evening, so I'm sure Regs will be completely fine. Say good night to your little friend, Reggie-poo, and go play nicely with Quil," Claire practically growled, giving me a shove towards the door.

I had to laugh at her impatience. "I will, I will. I'll see you later," I said, locking eyes with Regan. She smiled weakly, giving me a wave from where she stood, leaning on the banister. I gave her my best playful wink without even thinking. Satisfaction sizzled through me when I heard her heart start slamming in her chest. I stared back at her over my shoulder as I fiddled with the door handle, wasting time.

"Do you have something in your eye?" Claire asked. I gave her a pathetic look but Claire was unyielding as usual.

"BYE!" Claire snapped, flinging the door open. I chuckled, stumbling out onto the porch.

"Night!" I called over a stern-looking Claire as she slammed the door shut.

I got in my truck for show, parking it around the block. I was in the woods and in wolf form in record time.

Luckily Claire lived near some woods, but not nearly as thick as the woods around Charlie's. I knew I'd have to take refuge for the night behind either the family's lawnmower shed or in their day lilies under the window. I chose the shed. Trotting back towards the tiny building, I wasn't surprised to find Quil there. He was in wolf form, curled up beside the side of the shed. He gave me a surprised chuff when he saw me.

What are you doing here? he asked.

Same as you—being lame, I remarked flatly, sliding down onto the ground beside him. He nodded, looking up towards Claire's window. His dark, chocolate-colored, wolfy face gazed up to where Claire's voice floated through the glass window.

How was the ride? I asked. If I was in human form I would have winked at him.

It was fine. She rode home on my back. I let her do that sometimes. She likes it.

I'm sure she does, I chuckled.

Shut up, it's not like that.

You know we're starting to sound like a couple of broken records.

So you going to punch me in the face too? He asked sarcastically after a few moments. I rolled my eyes.

Please. He had it coming and you know it. You heard what he said.

Still, Seth. That's not like you. You kicked his ass the first time, and he deserved that. But punching his lights out in front of Regan? Not cool.

Has anyone ever made a sexually, pervy comment about Claire in front of you? I challenged.

Of course not, I'd knock their—oh…okay. I guess I see your point, he admitted sheepishly.

I nodded. Of course you do now. Now shut up and let's eavesdrop like the pair of wussies we are or I'll tell Claire how much you really enjoyed 'Mamma Mia'.

I did not, Seth— God you're such a dumbass sometimes.

You can't hide your thoughts from me, lover boy.

Whatever, he grumbled, turning his attention back to the window.

I laughed inwardly and did the same. We listened as the girls talked and gossiped—well, Claire talked and gossiped while Regan would occasionally pipe up and say something. Quil and I lay next to each other, mindlessly listening as our imprints talk. I did lift my head up when I heard my name.

"Seth is just always …around. I don't mind. I could have died tonight though."

"I don't blame you. I would've killed Quil by now if I was you and he was Seth. Why did he just—ulgh…boys are so stupid sometimes. Obviously punching Brady's lights out is not going to solve any problems."

"Thank you!" Regan laughed. She was silent for a moment and I ignored Quil's pointed looks from beside me.

"He's just…protective."

"Uh huh."

"Now what is that supposed to mean?" Regan shot at her.

"Nothing, nothing—just…you two are awfully good friends."

There was another pause. "Well…yeah. I mean—he's like…always around, and he's really friendly and talkative and…he gets me to say things I wouldn't normally say. We're friends."

"Friends?"

"Yeah. Friends," Regan said matter-of-factly.

"Sure," Claire laughed. I could practically see her rolling her eyes. I listened as Regan began to pace in front of the window. Claire watched from her bed.

"We're practically— I mean…it just happened. It was like he wanted to be friends with me though, I swear. He's just so easy to talk to, Claire. It's not weird with us—I feel like I know him. Like I've known him…for so long—you know?"

"Yup," Claire said.

"Is it like that with you and Quil?"

"Sure. I mean…he's been around…always," Claire replied, standing up. She walked to the window and peered out casually. Her eyes spied us almost instantly hiding beside the lawnmower shed.

"Seth is always around, and I just worry that he's…"

"I think Seth might be gay," Claire quipped, making eye contact with me out the window. I jumped to my feet, growling. She shook her head at us before throwing the drapes closed.

We can still hear, I pointed out to Quil. He laughed inwardly and looked up at her window. Sorry, man…my imprint is a ball buster.

No news here, I grumbled. Gay? I was going to get even with her for that one.

Thankfully, Regan knew she was joking and moved on.

"I mean, you and Quil make the whole friendship thing work, right?"

"It's not like we have to try," Claire pointed out. "He's been my best friend practically my whole life. Is that how you feel about Seth though? Are you just friends?"

"Oh yeah," Regan said quickly—too quickly.

Claire was silent for a moment. "I think…Seth would do anything for you, Regan. Like Quil would with me. I kinda wished Brady would have said something mean to me sometime in front of Quil. Now that would have been an ass-kicking."

Regan laughed, and I heard Quil snort in confirmation.

"I always thought he would do anything for me, you know, cuz…cuz I'm living with his mom, but lately – like tonight – I realized that he thinks of me as a real friend."

"Of course he does. That's just Seth. That's why this whole Brady thing is such a shock to everyone. Seth would go against anyone if it meant they were angry with him. He likes everyone and everyone likes him. It isn't like Seth to punch someone in the face for saying something."

"Then why—"

"Because Brady said something about you. Seth must take your friendship pretty…seriously," Claire choked out. I glanced sideways at Quil. I knew that he hadn't told Claire he had imprinted on her or even about imprinting, in general. But did she know? And even worse, would she tell Regan that something was up?

She doesn't know I imprinted, I swear, Quil reassured me. Even then…Claire respects the pack too much to spill a secret like that.

I nodded, turning my attention back to the slumber party. I silently said my thanks for ultra-sensitive wolf hearing.

"I know, Claire. That's what's so strange about all of this. He's so much older, and—"

"Not really."

Thank you, Claire, I thought mentally.

"Well, he's older than most of my friends have ever been. And he really just—I don't' know Claire…he gets me. Is that crazy?"

"No, I mean…friendship doesn't know age, Regan. But…is it something else instead—not just friendship?"

Regan was quiet for a moment. "No. It's not like that. He's not…flirty, really. I mean, he's Seth. So…he's just ultra-friendly. He's not creepy about it."

"Seth wouldn't be creepy. It's not in him," Claire agreed.

Quil, don't be offended when I buy your imprint something shiny for Christmas, I laughed. He snorted and shrugged his wolfy shoulders.

"I just get him, and he gets me. We're really friends, Claire and…I've never really had close friends like I do now and…maybe I'm just going a little bit crazy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…my friends that I had back in Phoenix never would have talked to me like this. They would have wanted to go to the mall and talk about guys we should be sleeping with. It wasn't like people here – people here actually talk. It's weird, but…but I like it. Seth is like that. I feel like I've known him for years, and I'm just drawn to him and I don't— I don't understand it, and I'm not entirely sure that I want to."

I could practically hear the Cheshire-sized smile appearing on Claire's cherubic face. "So…you like him?"

"Well…not like that. Jeez, Claire, I'm not a—I'm not a sicko."

"Was I implying that you were a sicko for maybe having a pint-sized little crush on the Greek-Godlike Native men that hang around us all day? Nooo… I was not," Claire said casually. "It's okay to think he's hot. I mean… why do you think it's like hanging around Quil all the time? The guy is built like a brick shit house and not an ounce of fat on him. He's beautiful," Claire said.

Quil growled from the ground, and I tried to ignore his incessant thoughts about Claire.

Claire, honey, you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on and someday you're going to be such a beautiful woman but—God you're so pretty even when you were a baby. You had these long, black eyelashes that just went on for miles and—

Please, Quil. Enough.

Sorry.

"So is Seth. But it's not like that," Regan replied unconvincingly. I held my breath; I was so excited. Hearing Regan talk about our relationship so reverently was making me practically burst with happiness. She felt the pull to me too. It wasn't just me or my imagination. Regan really cared for me.

"I just feel bad that I practically monopolize his time."

"I'm sure he doesn't mind."

"Does Quil ever date?" Regan asked suddenly.

Claire paused. "No. Why?"

"Neither does Seth. Don't you think that's weird?"

"He doesn't have time to date. He's with me," Claire responded haughtily. Quil and I both shared a laugh.

"Seth doesn't date either. I feel bad because…I think he should."

I stopped breathing all together at that one. I listened with all my might.

"Why on earth would you say that?"

Regan was quiet again, and I had to struggle to hear her answer.

"I don't want him to miss out on the life he should have if he wasn't always stuck at Sue's, hanging out with me."

I felt the breath I'd been holding leave my chest. I vowed then and there to reassure her that I wasn't missing out on anything by hanging out with her all the time. If anything, I was living life to the fullest – getting to know my imprint as a friend. Cherishing her. Making her feel whole again after being emotionally ripped in two. I knew I would have to be there for her now more than ever.


	28. Chapter 28

Seth

"License and registration please, ma'am."

Her car engine purred as it sat parked on the edge of the road just outside of Forks. I listened, barely paying attention as she rustled through her too-large, too-expensive looking purse. As the young brunette swore under her breath, I could barely pay attention. It was Christmas Eve, and the last place I wanted to be was on the side of the road writing a ticket to this girl.

"So sorry, officer," she said, suddenly sounding as sultry as her expensive sports car. "I'm on my way to Seattle, and I just can never find anything in this silly purse…"

"Take your time," I mumbled, leaning against the side of the car as she continued to dig for her wallet. Six months ago I might have actually paid attention to what I assumed was an attractive looking girl that I had pulled over—hell, six months ago I might even have pursued someone like her for a flimsy one night stand. I didn't have many of those, but every once in awhile I needed one. I had avoided anything serious as a single wolf for fear of imprinting someday. However, I also couldn't ignore my hormones forever. Sometimes a quick romp with a random stranger was all I needed to tide me over for a good few weeks. But I never let it get any more serious than a lay or two - it couldn't. It wasn't just for the girl; it was for me.

I took sex seriously. It was quite difficult to not get attached to someone while doing something so intimate…so I avoided it. Sex with women was strictly primal; uncaring and as promiscuous as possible. That was what made it easier really….I couldn't get attached to a woman if all I'd seen of her was basically her on all fours once or twice. I knew it was an asshole-ish thing to think, but…now that I had an imprint I was glad I didn't have to bother breaking some poor innocent girl's heart because I couldn't keep it in my pants.

When I think back, I had thought that avoiding a serious relationship with a woman was somewhat of a chore. It was a conscious task to emotionally keep my distance from a woman. But now that Regan was in my life…I thanked my lucky stars. How could I even look at another woman? It wasn't that I couldn't. I still had free will over who and what I wanted to look at, but…with Regan, I didn't want to look. I shook my head now just thinking about it.

As I was saying…six months ago I would have jumped at an opportunity like this. A pretty girl, passing through town, possibly home for the holidays…someone fun, flirty, and looking for the same thing I was – casual sex, a brief hookup, and possibly a little bit of company. She was safe because she had a life somewhere else, and the chances that I would never see her again were high. Yes, I definitely would have taken advantage of this situation. But now…I barely noticed her flowery perfume or long, perfectly curled eyelashes.

It was the morning of Christmas Eve. It would officially be what I hoped was my first of many Christmases with Regan. As I stood beside the running car, watching my breath turn into white clouds in the crisp morning air, I once again thanked whatever strange form of magic that had brought Regan to live with Sue and Charlie. The fact that I would get to spend Christmas with her was something I wasn't about to take for granted. Spending a holiday with her made me feel closer to her.

For starters, I was ecstatic to give Regan her present. Sue had agreed that I could get her a present this time, unlike her birthday when I had to send her flowers in secret. I knew my mom would have killed me if I would have proudly presented her with them like I'd want to. Hell, Regan would have probably killed me if I would have done it too, but…secret was okay. I'll never know if she knew it was me that sent them…but my gut told me she did at times. During the long hours with her after her accident, I saw that she used the short, crystal vase from the flowers as a pencil holder. It sat its place of honor on her bedroom desk. Several of the roses hung upside down near her window sill, permanently dried as a reminder of how beautiful they had been when I had given them to her.

Even though she enjoyed them, I still yearned to give her something more tangible that I knew she would like. Her present sat, already wrapped, on my bedroom dresser as it had for three weeks. I was positively aching to give it to her. I had gotten her several little presents to open as well, but they were trivial in comparison to her big gift. I shivered slightly out of excitement. My shift ends in a few hours, and I could hardly wait to make a beeline to my mom's house.

"Are you sure I need a ticket, officer?" the petite brunette asked me saucily. I barely glanced at her as I began to write it out.

"Isn't there some way we can work this out?" she begged.

I finished writing the warning ticket and handed it to her quickly.

"Just slow it down when you're this close to town. Just a warning this time," I replied flatly, turning on my heel and trotting away from the car. I heard her sigh in disgust as she rolled up her car window and pulled away. I wasn't a mean cop. I smiled to myself as I climbed into the Bronco and headed back towards Forks.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I sat back in my chair rubbing my stomach. I eyed the enormous turkey that sat in the middle of the table, debating whether or not I could finish off that last leg…

"It's Christmas Eve dinner…not a shootout in the Wild West," Leah said flatly, glaring at me from across the table. I raised one eyebrow but didn't look away from the beckoning turkey leg.

As I reached for it, I heard Regan groan beside me. "Ulgh, it's almost painful to watch him eat this much. How can you stand it?"

"I've had to watch them eat like this for years," Sue grumbled beside her. Charlie looked on, ignoring our banter. Leah winced as I bit into the leg, chewing slowly.

"It almost hurts—can your stomach lining explode?" I asked, rubbing my protruding stomach and wincing slightly. Regan grimaced, glancing at my stomach as if she expected it to explode.

"I have a feeling you would know that by now," Regan countered, wincing as she watched me chew. I nodded, taking another bite.

We had gathered together later that night and had just finished Christmas Eve dinner. Leah had arrived back in town just before I got there, and we had all sat down to eat before opening presents.

"Tell that fiancé of yours that I expect to see him at this table next year," Charlie said to my sister with a stern nod. Leah rolled her eyes.

"He's a vet just starting out, Charlie. He can't always take holidays off. It's alright though…I'm getting used to it."

Charlie nodded and I watched him look meaningfully at my mother as she stood and began to pile our plates onto hers to clear the table. His soft, brown eyes followed her as she dutifully began her tedious clean-up process. I realized for certainly not the first time how much my mom meant to Charlie. I didn't know much about his first wife (Bella's mother), but I knew enough to realize that their relationship had Charlie shattered for a long time. My dad's death had done the same to my mom—to all of us really. But together, I was sure that my mom and Charlie had helped each other pick up the pieces. My father's unexpected death had really shaken my mom. I think it was an event that made her stand back and realize just how much she had to lose, only…it was already gone. Sometimes when I miss him, the only thing that makes me feel a lot better is to think about all the ways Sue and Charlie had healed each other. I continued to watch as my mom came back into the dining room and handed him another beer.

Charlie looked down at the can then back up at her. She reached down, cracking it open for him.

"I've had my four," he said honestly, resembling a child admitting to stealing cookies from a cookie jar.

"It's Christmas," she said good naturedly, giving him a shrug. She patted him on the shoulder, giving it a squeeze as he took a sip.

Yes, I was very happy that my mom had found Charlie.

I glanced at Leah as she leaned back in her chair, taking in the scene around the table as I was. She was sleeping in Regan's room tonight as I would be taking the couch. I wasn't willing to miss a second of my first official Christmas with Regan.

We moved into the living room, all of us completely stuffed. Regan was still hobbling around, but now she just had a huge plastic boot instead of a cast and no crutches. Her ankle was healing well, and I was finally glad she could move around a little easier.

I settled down in my place near Regan, happy that our friendship was solidified—at least in my mind—enough for me to even act like her friend; things were no longer strange between us. I could sit by her, talk to her, tease and joke with her…it wasn't all strange looks and creepy vibes anymore. I was on cloud nine.

"Hey…it's snowing!" she gasped, looking out the window. She turned on the couch, looking out the large bay window that overlooked the front yard.

I chuckled. "Where have you been? It's been snowing all winter!"

Her expressive, green eyes watched the large snowflakes as they fell to the ground outside. "But this is pretty snow," she argued. "It's not the frozen, sleet-y, icky, nasty snow that usually falls here."

We all laughed, glancing out the window at the 'pretty' snow. The light was leaving the sky as darkness began to fall on Forks, and it finally began to really feel like Christmas.

When we heard a knock on the door a few minutes later, I was surprised. I hurried over and opened it, surprised to see Quil and Claire standing there, along with Embry.

"Something wrong?" Leah questioned, appearing behind me. I looked at their smiling faces and realized that nothing was wrong at all; in fact, it looked like they had just gotten done with a run after picking up Claire. I was instantly a little envious that Claire knew about Quil's wolf status, but I swallowed it back. She would know…someday.

"What's going on?" Regan asked from the couch.

"Get your gloves," I called to her. "We're gonna go play in the snow."

It took about five minutes of playful romping in the snow before the six of us started a full on war in Charlie's backyard. The snow continued to fall around us, giving us the perfect setting for our snow war. It was Quil, Claire, and Leah versus Regan, Embry, and me. Of course it was mainly between the four of us wolves; Regan and Claire pretty much hid behind us and screamed a lot when any snowballs came their way.

I was more than happy to help Regan gimp around in the snow; she had left her crutches inside, but she could hobble pretty fast now…and if she couldn't, I was always more than happy to pick her up and hurry her out of harm's way.

"Lookout!" Embry hollered, gently pushing Regan out of the way just in time for a snowball to hit me square in the chest.

"Hey!" I laughed, tossing a handful at him. "Thanks jerk!" I laughed. Embry sneered at me and loped out of the way as I tossed a large handful of the icy snow at us.

I was glad that Claire and Quil had dragged Embry out of his house to come play with us….Embry was a social guy at heart and a great friend, but…I think this time of year he gets a little lonely. Embry, Brady, and a few of the younger wolves were the only ones in our pack that hadn't imprinted yet. Unlike Brady, who rather enjoyed his man-whore-wolf-status as Quil had nicknamed it, Embry seemed like he wouldn't seem to mind finding an imprint. I remembered he had tried a few times a couple of years ago, just like Jake had so long ago. We had all watched that painful scene in his head, just before Nessie was born. Embry had gone out endlessly trying to find her; bars, stores, parks, malls, even local colleges. Nothing.

"Quit wishing I'd find a girl, Clearwater," he hissed at me, flashing me a grin before stuffing a handful of snow down my pack.

I gritted my teeth as the snow quickly melted against my skin and sweatshirt, making a damp spot on the cloth.

"How did you know?" I chuckled, arching my back. I watched as Regan hobbled behind a tree to avoid a snowball from Claire.

"Don't fall!" I hollered at her. She tossed me a playful glare.

"What am I, four?" she quipped, giving me a frown. She shrieked seconds later as Claire hit her in the leg with a pitiful snowball, but a snowball nonetheless.

Embry laughed, dusting the melted ice off his hands. "You get this dreamy, far off look in your eye. Wishing we could double date? Maybe I'll go hang out at the preschool and hope to find my imprint there," Embry chuckled.

I laughed with him, glad that he was still good-natured about his single status.

"You wouldn't," I said, my eyes growing wide.

"No Clearwater, I wouldn't. Freaking goon," he grumbled, but smacked me heartily on the back. "Don't worry about me. She might be out there, she might not. But in the meantime…I make single look good."

I snorted as he trotted off, undoubtedly planning a sneak attack on my sister. Embry was my friend and one of my original pack mates; I just wanted him to be happy.

I trotted over to where Regan was standing behind a tree, scouting out Claire's next attack. The little devil liked to use Quil as a shield during her attacks, making her hard to stop.

"Are you cold?" I asked, standing beside the tree. Before she could answer, I reached out and blocked a snowball with my bare hand, tossing the ice to the ground.

"N-no," she shivered, grinning at me through her blue lips. I shook my head and made the sign for 'Timeout'.

"Yeah right," I laughed, shaking my head at her.

None of the wolves were wearing gloves; my thin fleece hoodie was more than enough to keep me warm in this weather. I was sure the temperature was hovering around thirty degrees…just cold enough for it to snow this much. However, we soon realized the humans were soon shivering and doing enough teeth chattering to remind us that they couldn't stay out all night in the snow like we could.

"Inside!" Leah panted, shaking her head while grinning at me. I nodded, grabbing Regan's mittened hand and hurrying inside.

"I'm so c-cold," she half shivered, half giggled as we made our way back inside. I could hear her teeth chattering as she tried to get warmer. I laughed, yanking her gloves off her hands. I covered her hands with mine, letting the heat from my normally scorching hot skin warm hers.

"Oh," she shivered, closing her eyes slightly. "Your hands are so warm! You're always so warm…" she muttered, her teeth chattering again slightly.

"Presents?" Leah asked. Her eyes flickered to our intertwined hands, but she said nothing. "Mom and Charlie are waiting," she mumbled, walking past us and back into the living room.

"Presents?" Regan asked brightly. I could see the excitement bubbling in her expression at the word.

"Yeah. We get to open two on Christmas Eve. Tradition," I shrugged, giving her a smile. She grinned up at me, her curls windblown and her cheeks bright pink.

"That's awesome! I got you something," she admitted sheepishly, suddenly sounding very…teenager-ish. I definitely forgot sometimes that she was only seventeen; the way she spoke and the things she talked about were very mature. However…I had to remember: seventeen.

"Really?" I felt my heart soar. I had to control myself. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's nothing big," she laughed. "But it's something. I wanted to give you something to say thanks for…"

"What?" I asked, gazing down at her. I could faintly hear the rest of my family getting settled in the living room around the tree. I knew they would be expecting us, but I didn't care.

"It's to say thanks for…not leaving."

I looked down at her, feeling my heart warm. Was my wish finally coming true? Was Regan finally accepting me into her life to stay?

"Is this about that night after the bonfire?"

She nodded, looking up at me. God…when she did that…sometimes I forgot how to use my mouth.

"I told you I would never leave you. We're…friends, Regan, and…and I meant every word I said."

She smiled warmly at me; her jewel-like, green eyes lighting up. I listened closely, hearing her heart start to beat a little faster. Her hands reluctantly dropped, and I immediately missed the contact of her skin against mine. I would never tire of the delightful little tingles of electricity I felt when her hands touched mine. I heard her sigh, but it was…a content sigh. I realized with a light heart that she actually believed me this time when I told her I would never leave. I couldn't; I wouldn't want to.

We took turns opening presents around the tree in the living room. Leah and I had gotten together to get my mom her own dough maker for home, a present that Charlie was more than happy about. My mom got me new shirts and jeans, which were always appreciated since I was constantly losing or destroying mine—tying them to your leg while running over a hundred miles an hour didn't always work out well. I probably had 20 pairs of Levis strewn around the forest somewhere between here and La Push over the years.

"I have one you can open tonight and one tomorrow," Regan admitted sheepishly, handing me a small package. I gave her a touched smile; she had gotten me not only one but two things.

I tore the present in my hand open without further delay, my jaw dropping open slightly when I saw what it was.

"I made it," she said timidly. "Claire and I went to Port Angeles last weekend to this little shop and…and you could make things there and fire them to look all cool, so…"

I stared down at the coffee cup in my hand, turning it over. It was black and shiny, just like a real coffee mug, but with my name written in Regan's quirky, scratchy print. On the other side, she had drawn and colored in a cartoonish looking version of the Forks Police Department shield. She had obviously painted it and had it fired to look glossy, and I was awestruck that she would make me something so personal.

"T-thank you," I stuttered slightly, staring down at it. I was so touched that she would actually take the time to make something for me. Something made by my imprint was ten time better than anything store-bought.

"Charlie said you drink a lot of coffee at work," she rambled, hobbling over to sit beside me on the couch. Her bright eyes looked up at me expectantly as she wrung her hands together in her lap. "Do you like it? I mean, I know it kinda looks like an art project, but…"

"Looks good, Regs. Can I put one on my Christmas list for next year?" Charlie asked from his chair. She grinned at him, nodding.

"Sure. I mean…I didn't do that great. You should have seen the one Claire made for her mom. I…"

"It's so neat, Regan, really!" I exclaimed. I gave her a casual, friendly one-armed hug and turned it over in my hands. I knew I'd pretty much turn my nose up at any other coffee mug anywhere after seeing this.

"That's really cool," Leah said, picking it from my hands. "I didn't know you were artsy."

"I'm not, really…"

"It looks wonderful. He loves it, I can tell. Moms know these things," I heard my mom say. I met her gaze from across the room, relieved that she seemed pleased with Regan's gift to me. I knew she wasn't going to like either of the presents I was going to give to Regan this Christmas, but I was tired of tip-toeing around her. I wanted my imprint to have certain things—moms and their snarky looks be dammed.

We went around and each opened up a few more presents. We always opened one or two on Christmas Eve, saving most of them for the next day. Charlie got the new Carhart jacket he wanted while Leah received several new things for her apartment she shared with Scott. Finally, everyone decided that it was time to go to bed.

"Hang back a sec, okay?" I whispered to Regan after she stood to leave. She gave me a quizzical stare, but nodded.

"Don't stay up too late…Santa's gonna come, after all," Leah replied in a teasing tone, her dark eyes glittering at my mother.

"Santa will still come, but only for sons and daughters that still believe in him. If they question Santa, they won't get anything for Christmas," my mom insisted as she walked up the stairs after Charlie.

Leah followed them, giving me a curious stare. She didn't even know what I was going to give Regan. My hand went inside my jean pocket, trembling with excitement or nerves—I wasn't sure.

Regan turned to look at me, her eyes shining brightly. I could see the reflection of the multicolored Christmas lights in them, making the bright green of her irises seem to dance. Her dark hair hung down in wavy layers, curling slightly from the damp snow from our snowball fight. I knew I would never regret what I was about to give her.

"What is it, Seth?"

Cue awkward silence as I tried to mentally get my shit together.

"Um…I have something to give you."

"Why do you kinda look like you want to puke?"

I chuckled, still amazed at my imprint and her uncanny ability to call me on my crap.

I gulped, pulling the thin laces of leather out of my pocket. "Because I made you something too, and….and I'm not sure…I wasn't sure if you would like it."

Her mouth fell open slightly as she looked down into my hand. I prayed that she couldn't see it shake slightly.

"This is for me?" she asked, picking it up carefully. I nodded, watching her face as she accepted the gift.

"Do you like it?"

I watched as she held up the Quileute promise bracelet that I had woven just for her. Quil had to show me how to weave one just like his grandfather had shown him. I must be in love with Regan to sit through a Quil-taught jewelry making lesson. Talk about awkward, even for best friends.

"It's…it's so pretty. You made this? You're a guy, how did you— you're not supposed to make girly jewelry that I would actually like!" she giggled, turning it over in her hands. I laughed; my love for the girl in front of me increasing with every second.

"It's a Quileute thing," I laughed. "We're manly men and all, but…we take our bracelet making pretty seriously," I chuckled.

She admired the thinly woven, black cord in her hands, touching the shiny turquoise beads appreciatively. It was simple, but pretty…just like my Regan. The cord was black and intricately braided, and I had purchased the three turquoise beads that adorned it separately, adding them on as an afterthought. I had to admit…it was one of the prettier Quileute promise bracelets I'd seen.

"Will you put it on me?" she asked eagerly, holding out her wrist. I nodded, happy that she seemed to enjoy my handiwork.

I took her hand in mine, turning her arm over to secure the thin bracelet around her small wrist. It looked perfect there.

"Seth, this is so sweet. I still can't believe you made me something. How did you do it?" Her voice was soft and sincere, laced with emotion. I could feel how much she liked it.

I laughed. "It's just a silly bracelet. I thought you would like it, and…I'm right?"

"I'll never take it off," she said happily, gazing down at it on her arm. I smiled, bending down to give her another hug.

"Merry Christmas, Regan."

And I'd never meant anything more.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

As I lay on the couch later that night, I sighed happily as I listened to my sister and my imprint as they bonded – talking, laughing, and sharing stories. I was a little jealous that I wasn't invited to their little slumber party, but I knew that this was important to them. Leah's voice floated down the steps as I sprawled out on the couch, gazing at the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.

"Are you having a good Christmas? I mean, away from home?"

I could hear Regan chuckle to herself. "Yeah, it's nice to actually have people around. My mom was usually still at her office Christmas party at this time. We did our thing Christmas day…but yeah, it's nice."

"Good. I know Mom would be happy that you're alright here."

"Are you sad Scott isn't here to spend it with you?"

I heard my sister laugh. "I am, but I know Scott and I will have a lot of our own Christmases eventually. He just texted me from the animal hospital, and I guess it's been a busy night. He just removed a candy cane, wrapper and all, from a beagle puppy's throat. So yeah…he's too busy to miss me."

"You guys seem really happy…I was sad I couldn't meet him," Regan offered quietly.

I could tell she was trying to tip-toe around Leah; she was afraid Leah would get upset at the mention of her absent fiancé, but I knew better.

"It's alright. We'll have Christmas when I get home!" Leah said. "It will be kinda nice…just the two of us." I listened to my sister giggle happily, and I realized I never thought I'd hear her like this again. It was good to hear Leah laugh.

There was a silence for a few moments. "Are you alright?"

Regan laughed. "I'm envious. You guys seem really in love, is all. I…I know this sounds…stupid or whatever, but…I hope I have that someday…is that stupid? I feel like that's cheesy…whatever, I…"

I heard Leah swallow. "You will. That's not stupid at all. That's what everyone wants – to be happy. You don't have to be embarrassed about wanting that."

"I guess not," Regan murmured quietly.

"You'll figure things out," I heard my sister say quietly.

"Do you know…about…about Brady?" Silence. "I knew someone would blab about it."

I heard my sister chuckle. "Regan…" I heard my sister sigh uncomfortably. "Brady is an ass, but I knew something had to have happened for Seth to…well…to have done that."

"Is it really easy to tell?"

"No, I mean…I'm older, but…I was seventeen once too, you know. I can tell when a girl has been screwed over by a guy."

"True," I heard Regan say. "I just feel stupid. And embarrassed."

"Anyone would. You shouldn't let it eat at you. Believe me…I would know."

"You would? What do you mean?"

I heard my sister laugh softly. "I was in love with a guy once. Like…what I thought was really…really in love."

I sighed, listening to the wistfulness in my sister's voice as she talked about Sam…even now.

"And…and I thought that I was doing the right thing, you know…making the right choices. And I suppose I was…at the time. But that's another story. What I'm trying to say is…"

"Just spit it out, Leah," Regan laughed, half amused and half annoyed. They both laughed, and I smiled to myself as I listened.

"I just…I let a guy shatter me. I don't even think I was as hurt by the fact that I got dumped on my ass, it was just…the way I handled it. It just broke my heart. It broke me. And I let it break me over and over and over. I never was the kind of girl whose life revolved around a guy and when I met Sam…I swore things would be different. I swore I wouldn't be that girl, that cliché, needy girl…and as soon as he dropped me I…I thought it was all just over. I didn't think you could get unhappier.

"Wow," Regan said quietly. It was obvious she was as speechless as I would have been.

"I'm just saying that you can think you're…broken…but you're not. You just need to find your…glue, I guess."

Regan giggled, and I realized my heart was happy to hear that sound.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that…I couldn't get out of bed. I hated him, I hated myself, I hated…just…life in general. But I came out of it…it just took some time."

"You found the right guy?"

"No," Leah said firmly. "It wasn't about finding the right guy. I was single for a long ass time, and proud of it. No, it wasn't about replacing the guy….it was about like….fixing myself, I guess. It was about moving on, making better choices for myself…which for me was leaving La Push and getting an education….but it meant being okay with being alone and…and not being so freaking bitter about it all the time. When Sam dumped me, I was content to just wallow in this self-loathing cycle. I finally woke up one day and realized that that wasn't what I wanted my life to be. It meant finally being okay with myself and forgiving myself for stupidly thinking that everything falling apart was my fault. It took some time for me to pick up the pieces, and it really seemed hopeless there for awhile…"

"Tell me about it," Regan echoed.

Leah snorted. "Yeah…I went through some dark times. But I came out of it, like I said…I just had to make some changes. If I can figure it out, so can you."

"I hope so—I want to. I really do. I'm tired of being the little idiot of Forks."

I laughed at my imprint's sarcastic nature, chuckling to myself on the couch.

"You're not a little idiot. You just…make some bad choices. You'll figure it out. Hell knows…if I can, you can."

"I want to find my Scott, Leah," she said finally. I heard my sister laugh again.

"You'll be alright. Just learn to like yourself first. Then maybe…well, probably your Scotty will come along. I'm sure he will, in fact."

Regan was quiet for a few moments. "I hope so too. And in the meantime, I have Seth to look out for me and punch the mean ones," she laughed. I heard my sister burst out into laughs again, and they struggled to keep quiet for Sue and Charlie's sake.

"Seth would do anything for you Regan," my sister laughed, trying to choke back her giggles.

Regan laughed with her. "I know. Look, he even made me this kick ass bracelet! Can you believe that?"

Leah stopped laughing. All was quiet. I winced. Shit.

"Hey, um…I'm going to go make a late night snack. Do you want anything?"

"Ulgh, I can't even think about food. No, I'm good. I can't believe you can even think about food."

Leah snorted to herself. "Don't jump out the window while I'm gone."

Regan chucked something at her as she left. I heard Leah's footsteps coming down the stairs, and before I knew it she was smacking me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

"A promise bracelet? Really, Seth?" She whopped me again and made a gagging sound in the back of her throat before silently stalking off to the dark kitchen. I rubbed my head and pouted.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Christmas morning dawned cloudy and best of all – snowy. We had almost a foot of snow since it had started snowing the day before, and all of Forks was covered in a white blanket of sparkling snowflakes. However, I could have cared less.

I could have cared less because I was so beside myself excited to give Regan her present that it wasn't even laughable. I had barely slept all night, and I felt like a kid on Christmas morning instead of late twenty-something werewolf. I was so enthused that I had to beg my mother to wake Regan and Leah up so we could get this Christmas day show on the road.

When Regan did finally come downstairs, she looked so cute I could barely stop myself from grinning at her. She rubbed her eyes sleepily with the sleeve of her hooded sweatshirt. She pretended to glare angrily at me for waking her up, but she soon let a smile crack through the façade.

She flopped next to me on the couch. "You would be happy and smiley at this hour of the morning."

"You're cute in the morning. You making growling noises like a frustrated little puppy," I laughed, elbowing her.

Rolling her eyes, she happily accepted the cup of coffee I had already waiting for her on the coffee table.

"Hey thanks," she mumbled, giving me a lopsided, morning grin.

"Alright, let's get this present thing over with," Charlie grumbled. He looked at me smiling on his couch and gave me a cranky morning look that echoed Regan's.

"Why isn't anyone as excited as I am? It's Christmas!"

"No one is ever as excited as you are," Leah muttered, taking her place on the floor by the tree. She began passing out gifts as I watched excitedly.

"This is from us. Merry Christmas, sweetie," my mom said, handing Regan a box. She ruffled her hair, and Regan actually smiled at my mom. I watched their exchange and felt myself growing more and more confident that Regan was feeling more at home in Forks.

We opened presents for awhile, my sister watching as I grew more and more impatient for Regan to actually open my present to her. With an eye roll, Leah handed Regan the silver package from under the tree.

"Here, open this one. It's from me," I said proudly, practically shoving the box at her. Regan smiled good-naturedly, nervously tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Yes, please, open it before my brother dies like the little girl that he is," Leah said flatly, giving me a knowing smile.

"O-okay," she laughed, unwrapping the ribbon. She tore the packaging off, her eyes growing wide with excitement.

"Holy crap, it's a phone!" she yelped, turning the box over in her hands. I felt my face explode into a grin that was probably the size of Mars as I watched her take in her present, but I didn't care. It was obvious she loved it. I heard my mom gasp at my audacity to buy Regan such an expensive present, but it barely registered in my mind.

"Oh my God, Seth…thank you!" Regan shrieked, bouncing up off the couch. She practically ripped the box apart to get the sleek, shiny, little cell phone out of its packaging. Bits of plastic and paper fluttered to the floor as she removed the wrappings and held it up. It took her all of ten seconds to power it on and let her eyes widen.

"Do you like it? Is it the right kind?" I asked, watching her skeptically. I had wandered into the cell phone store, completely clueless on what to kind of phone to buy a teenage girl. The salesgirl that had approached me had practically talked me into buying one of the newest, most expensive phones in the store, claiming that her own daughter wanted one for Christmas. However, she hadn't thought her daughter deserved such a flashy present…but Regan was different.

"I love it! It's…it's so new and shiny, and…and…oh my God, I have a phone again!" she gasped, doing a strange little dance in place. She was beaming and making weird, excited noises and most of all – it was because of me. I had made her happy.

She threw her arms around me, squeezing me tighter than I ever thought was possible for someone her size. I hugged her back and avoided my mother's scalding gaze as she glared at me. I knew she would be upset about my purchasing something so flashy and over the top for Regan, but I didn't care. She was worth it.

"Pretty, ah…flashy present," Charlie muttered.

"I'll take care of the bill, Charlie. My present to Regs."

I watched Charlie as he took the information in, his tongue coming out to lick his lips uneasily. I could tell he was slightly confused at my present to her, but I saw a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"So does that mean you got me that electronic fish finder?"

We all laughed at Charlie before continuing with our present opening. When I thought they were all done and opened, my mother surprised us all by pulling out two more boxes from behind the couch. I took one look at the size and the ornate, picture perfect wrapping and immediately knew who they were from.

"Alice?" I asked, looking at Charlie.

He shrugged. "And Bells and Esme. You know how they are with presents."

I smiled and ripped into the package from my stony friends up North, knowing it would be something good. I pulled out an entirely new outfit, complete with shiny cufflinks and socks softer than anything I'd ever felt in my life.

"New Year's," I said to my mom with a shrug. She hurried over, grabbing the littler box to examine it.

"Sapphire cufflinks?"

I shrugged, looking at the shiny objects in the box. "I suppose. If I've learned one thing, it's that we don't argue when Alice gives out clothes. I trust her to dress me."

"I do too," I heard Regan breath. Looking over, I saw in the middle of the floor amidst boxes and wrapping paper galore, she was holding up a dress. Her eyes shining as she took it in. It was small, and black and shiny, and I knew it would look perfect on her. I had been to enough parties, weddings, and events planned by my tiny vampire friend to know that the things she picked out were for a reason.

"It's so pretty!" Regan gasped, putting the dress down in her lap to admire. I watched her open the additional boxes with matching shoes and a purse-looking thing. I didn't know what all of it was, but I knew that Regan looked ecstatic—and that was the most important thing.

"Charlie…I've never even met your daughter, and…and she's given me so much stuff! I feel so bad…" Regan moaned, looking mournfully at the dress in her hands.

"The Cullens…enjoy giving," I heard my mom say. I tore my gaze away from Regan long enough to look at her.

"Dr. Cullen is a very wealthy man, and his kids all grew up and got really good jobs. They're all happy, and they've got what they need, so…they like to share the wealth," Charlie explained gruffly. I had to snort at his words. '…they all grew up and got really good jobs.' The only growing that had been done in that family was the size of their Swiss bank accounts—that was for sure.

I watched as Charlie watched Regan marvel over her new dress. His eyes had gotten a little sad as he talked about Bella and the rest of the Cullens. I knew his daugther's visit would be a welcomed one, even if things were awkward now. I had come close to dropping hints about Bella over the years, but I refrained. I had imagined someone else telling Regan that I was a werewolf, and that had solidified my decision. It wasn't my secret to tell or rather, confirm. Charlie wasn't the typical dense, small town cop that looked the other way. He pretended to not know that something was up with his daughter but…Charlie Swan wasn't stupid. Bella inherited her intelligence from her mother and her father. I knew and I think Bella knew that Charlie wasn't buying it. But…again, it was up to Bella to deny or confirm, not me.

We spent the rest of the day being lazy; Charlie played with his new fishing gear while my mom made cookies with Leah in the kitchen. Well, Leah pretended to help while she licked the spoon and taste tested my mom's homemade frosting. I sat next to Regan on the couch and helped her figure out all the bells and whistles on her new cell phone.

"Do you think you'll use your grill?" she asked, looking at the box next to me. I smiled and patted the George Forman grill on the couch next to me, nodding.

"Oh yeah, how could I not? The fat just drips right off," I chuckled. She swatted at me and went back to playing with her phone.

"I only got it for you so that you wouldn't starve on nights that you can't come over for dinner and mooch off your mom and Charlie," she quipped, giving me a grin. Her eyes sparkled in the lights of the Christmas tree again, and I realized that she was concerned about me—actually concerned about me—enough to worry about me when I wasn't there.

"You worried imma starve?" I laughed, elbowing her back. She giggled and leaned back against the couch. Was it my imagination, or did she lean closer to me? I couldn't be sure.

"I worry that you'll resort to going out back and tearing ravenously into some poor little animal if you get hungry enough. So yes, I do worry. You eat like a goat."

I gave her a mock-annoyed look. "I'm bigger than a goat."

"Yes, but goats eat anything…including garbage. They can eat all day. You're like a goat, Seth, I'm telling you!"

"You're ridiculous," I laughed, and she soon joined me in another round of happy giggles. I realized with complete happiness that Regan was getting another chance at life…at being a teenager. As much as I wanted her to grow up and see if she would fall in love with me…and vice versa…I didn't want her to miss out on this – lying around in her pajamas all day, playing with her new cell phone, and admiring her new pretty dress – just being a teenager. I realized that all I wanted for Christmas was for my imprint to be happy and normal.

For now…. I would wait.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox


	29. Chapter 29

Seth

I stood in front of my mirror fumbling with the buttons on my shirt. Apparently, fancy foreign designer labels had smaller buttons than the dress shirts I was used to. For some reason, I couldn't get my fingers to work right tonight.

"Argh!" I grumbled, huffing out a distressed breath. For some reason…I was nervous. I wasn't sure why. Maybe some part of me was wondering what was going to happen at midnight tonight? I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that I couldn't get my damn buttons fastened. My sensitive ears picked up the pitter patter of familiar footsteps coming up the stairs and down the hall to my bedroom. I turned around just as Alice Cullen bursts through the door. At the same time, there was a loud bang downstairs.

"Do I want to know?" I asked, peeking around her shoulder.

She put her small nose in the air and shook her head. "Emmett is just hanging a chandelier. He was having trouble with the wiring, but I think it will be fine now," she chirped, her eyes growing slightly unfocused

"I have a chandelier. It's in the dining room and—"

She held up a tiny hand. "You needed another one for the dance floor."

"Dance floor?"

The Cullens had slunk back into town a few days after Christmas. Naturally, they didn't want many people from 'the outside' to realize they were back as none of them had aged a day. Most of the people coming to the party tonight were either too young to remember them or they were in on the secret – wolves and imprints. They had settled back in for their visit, but I didn't mind. I slept outside Regan's window, so the sicky sweet stench of vampire didn't really bother me. It was always hard to get used to having vampires around again, but I was mainly happy to just have the constant company. Besides making my nostrils burn, the Cullens were like family to me.

They had been in the door all of ten minutes when Alice had decided to start the major decorative overhaul that was going to take place for my New Year's Eve party. I had never thrown a party before, but Alice insisted that I should, so…I did. She had enlisted several of the more social wolves, such as the twins, Astin and Aaden, to get her guest list together, and she was taking care of the decorations. She and Esme had spent the next two days ordering around the poor bastards they called husbands while they cleaned up my house. The entire place had been completely transformed into whatever Alice was deeming appropriate for a New Year's Eve party. I just hope I would survive it.

She shook her head again and materialized in front of me, her nimble fingers already working on my buttons.

"Cuff links?"

"Right here," I muttered, handing the box to her. She gave me a cutesy smirk and busied her quick hands with fastening the sapphire cufflinks she and her family had included with my Christmas present.

"Are you nervous?"

"I thought you couldn't feel emotions. That's supposed to be Jasper."

"Well I can hear your heart beating wildly. And you're sweating, but it doesn't smell like icky sweat, it smells like….nervous sweat."

"Nervous sweat? Ewww…."I groaned, sniffing my armpits. "I thought you were going to say you could like, smell my fear since you're a vampire or something."

Alice rolled her eyes as she finished fastening them. "Oh yeah…that too."

"Just help me out tonight, okay? Make me look cool. Regan already thinks I'm a dork."

"You are a dork."

"Why does everyone say that?" I grumbled, peeking over her dark head. I took in my appearance in the mirror, feeling only slightly satisfied. It felt awkward to be wearing any clothes, much less dress clothes.

"I hung mistletoe," she sang quietly under her breath.

"What for?" I grumbled.

Alice snorted in her delicate little way. "Little Regan won't always be seventeen you know," she quipped. She turned to stand beside me at the mirror, admiring her own curled, coiffed hairstyle.

I stopped mussing with my hair long enough to gape at her. Alice could see the future! Of course! Why hadn't I even thought of that?

She looked at me in the mirror. "I can see your wolfy, little brain working. No, I can't see that. You're always around too much for me to see anything definite."

I smiled. "So if you can't see her that must mean I'm around though, right?"

She nodded vaguely, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off of her dress. "I can't tell…you know that, Seth…but I will say that I can't see her…and when I can, she looks happy. But I really can't see anything definite."

"I know…"

I heard another set of footsteps, and my face broke out into another smile. I knew that sound…

"He's just worried he'll drive her away with his stench."

I turned around laughing. "Eddie!"

Edward's perfect, marble face wrinkled up into a grimace as he strode into the bedroom. Alice grinned at me before patting me on the arm.

I know you hate that name. That's why I use it, I thought at him. He raised his eyebrows, acknowledging my thought.

"Calm down. The party will be fine! And in the meantime, settle yourself. You're making Jasper nervous," Alice said, and with a laugh, she was gone.

I wasted no time hugging one of my best friends in the world. I couldn't be happier to have Edward here, especially at a time like this.

"You're flattering me. What is it you want to know?" he chuckled, embracing me back as he undoubtedly heard my thoughts. I released him, feeling better automatically. I knew Edward would be able to give me a glimpse into Regan's mind—even if she was young, I was dying to know what she thought of me.

"Any girl would be crazy not to think you're the best pick of all the werewolves in Forks," Edward chuckled, giving me a knowing smile.

"Very funny! So you heard I imprinted?"

"I got the whole rundown from Alice. Bella has been beside herself excitedly waiting to meet this girl. So Seth Clearwater has finally 'imprinted'," he said with a sigh, rolling his eyes.

I laughed, knowing he was trying to give me a hard time.

"Well, it worked out for Nessie."

"Yes, that," Edward mused, giving me an exasperated look. He grinned, shaking his head. "I'm only speaking in jest. Yes, Jacob is the very best thing to happen to my daughter."

I snorted. "Who would have thought you would ever admit that?"

"I would be the first to tell you that I wouldn't…but…time has proved that he is simply meant for my daughter, and vice versa. The two complement each other in a way that I cannot deny. I've seen inside his mind…and as much as I hated it at first, the dog does love her with every ounce of his shaggy, fur covered behind," Edward said in his flat, smooth voice. I laughed, smacking his stony shoulder.

"You love him, I know it!" I chuckled.

"We'll call it amicable."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I stood with Edward in front of the glass windows staring out at the view he had missed so dearly when he moved away. My heart was sad for him as he looked tenderly upon the backyard where his daughter had played what seemed like only a few short years ago.

"Thank you," he replied quietly.

I missed you, I admitted in my mind. You're one of my best friends. And you give the best advice…

"I will offer you what I can tonight," he quietly agreed, giving me a lopsided grin. His white teeth caught one of the lights and it glistened. I shivered slightly, remembering since his arrival that he was even a vampire at all. After the near-war with the Volturi, all of the Cullens just seemed so peaceful, and well…human. They weren't the monsters that we patrolled for. They were a family that was ready to fight for the most humanistic things of all: love and family.

Edward gave me a meaningful look in the glass reflection. I shrugged.

I know I'm a sap, I thought.

He smiled crookedly again as Bella gracefully sauntered up to his side. She molded herself against him effortlessly, curling into his body like she was a puzzle piece. I wondered if Regan would ever fit with me like that—like a puzzle piece. Lord knows I had searched long enough for her.

"She will," he said softly. Bella looked up at him with a mixture of curiousness and adoration, but said nothing. She seemed to sense we were having a private conversation. So much like Regan she was—both so inquisitive and observant.

"You're not Alice," I pointed out to him.

"I don't have to be."

We stood together gazing out the windows at the backyard until we heard several vehicles pulling off the interstate toward the Cullen driveway. When the cars stopped, all three of us turned around to listen.

Bella laughed. "Can you hear her heartbeat? I can…it's like a hummingbird or something," she said softly, looking up at me with her strange, golden eyes.

I looked at the front of the house where I could hear my guests arriving, wondering if Regan was here yet. Is that what Bella was talking about?

"Is she..."

"Regan is here," Edward murmured from beside me, his golden eyes happy and slightly…mischievous.

"What?" I asked, snapping myself out of my haze. "How do you know it's her? You've never met her?"

"Let's just say…you consume her thoughts. And Bella is right…her heartbeat is…rather quick," he replied, giving me a wink as he turned with his wife and strode towards the door.

I practically bounded to the top of the steps to gape down the stairs. Quil was walking into the entry way with Claire, Regan, and Alice. I guessed she had helped the girls get ready, as both of them looked rather 'Alice-y' – pretty makeup, hair curled and different, and dresses on.

I watched as Alice bounded up the entryway steps rather quickly, visibly trying her best to appear human. I didn't care at that moment though. All of my thoughts were consumed by the absolutely perfect girl that had walked through the door. Another large group of my pack brothers and their dates or imprints walked in behind her just as Emmett cued up the music. I was still oblivious.

"You're welcome," I heard Alice's sing song voice in my ear. I blinked, proudly taking in the sight of my beautiful imprint as she hobbled up the stairs towards me in her sparkly dress and Converse sneakers.

"Alice, she's so cute," I practically cooed. I knew I sounded like a girl, but I didn't care. Jasper gave me a skeptical look from the other side of the staircase. I was lucky that the humans weren't close enough to hear us yet.

"And you insist you don't harbor any romantic feelings for her?" he questioned quietly, for only supernatural ears to hear. I shook my head.

"No…she's not…it's not like that. She's just so…perfect and beautiful," I heard myself murmur.

"It's imprinting…don't try to understand it," Edward muttered to Jasper.

"She's got a little of Bella in her, wouldn't you say?" Alice added, giving me a wink. I smiled at the tiny vampire and laughed.

"She's quite the character, yes."

"I'm loving the dress, but I just couldn't talk her out of those awful shoes…"

"Alice, give her a break. Humans break bones, and then they take time to heal. She doesn't want to get hurt again," I interjected under my breath. Alice danced away, dragging Jasper by the hand as a true Cullen style party got underway.

"So young, so hopeless," Edward muttered. I gave my friend a smirk before turning my attention back to Regan as she came up the last few steps. I was grateful that the Cullen house had such a long staircase inside the entry way. It gave me a few extra seconds to stare at my imprint as she made her way up to the main floor.

"Hey," Regan said rather breathlessly, finally reaching the top step. I tried to not beam at her like the jackass that I was.

"Hey," I laughed, steadying her as she wobbled. I took in her enhanced appearance as casually as I could without staring. She looked fantastic—not in an adult, sexual way…just a cute, gussied up teenage kind of way. I watched as she self consciously fretted with the hem of her dress, trying to get it straight and…I found myself almost sad that I didn't see her like that yet. I found some solace in the fact that I could at least appreciate from a platonic point of view how beautiful she was – her dark hair was curled, hanging down on either side of her pale face, and her features were subtly enhanced with some makeup. I usually hated makeup on girls, but whoever had done hers (I was assuming Claire and Alice) had done a good job of playing up my imprint's natural features. Her black, subtly sparkled dress shone even in the lights of the living room, making me even more excited for the night to come.

I ushered her towards the party, watching her face light up like a kid on Christmas morning. She was so utterly overwhelmed at the transformation Alice had performed. When I noticed my bracelet still adorning her wrist, I thought my face was going to explode from smiling so much.

"This is like…this is like a club, or…or some hip lounge or something!" she gushed, her green eyes wide. "Alice Cullen did all this?"

"She sure did. Well, she had poor Jasper to help," I said, motioning to where Alice stood with Jasper in front of my newly decorated Christmas tree. I hadn't even bothered to set one up at the Cullen house since I was never there anyway. I was either at work, patrolling, or at my mom's with Regan. Alice had been horrified. I had gotten a seven foot tall, completely silver tree in my living room the next day.

I heard Regan gasp as we walked into the living room that Alice had managed to transform into something I was sure was the swankiest looking party any of us would ever see. Her eyes took in the lights that were twinkling from the ceiling, the shiny steamers and tinsel, and all the gold and silver confetti tossed everywhere. The entire living room, dining room, hallway, and kitchen were completely decked out in glittering gold and silver decorations, and I could barely recognize my own house.

"It looks fantastic," I heard her utter, her gorgeous eyes wide. I laughed, ushering her the rest of the way into the party. I mainly wanted to show her off to everyone. It wasn't that she wasn't beautiful the rest of the time because she was, but now…now she was utterly stunning.

"You like it?" Alice asked breathlessly, practically appearing in front of Regan. Regan jumped slightly, her eyes growing even wider.

"I l-love it," she stuttered, still stunned.

"She's still taking it all in, I think," I told my vampire friend. Alice nodded then looked to the side with a knowing smile. Edward and Bella appeared through the crowd, and I watched as some recognition flashed in Regan's eyes.

"You're…you're Charlie's daughter, Bella, aren't you?" Regan asked quietly. Bella nodded, blinking her eyes through her usual muddy brown contacts. I looked at Edward who met my gaze and smirked.

"I am. It's so great to finally get to meet you…again, I guess," Bella said, embracing my imprint ever so carefully.

Even though I knew Bella was harmless, I still tensed a little watching a vampire embrace my imprint.

Sorry, Edward…instinct. No offense, I thought to him. My eyes flicked up to meet his and he shrugged me off. I knew he wouldn't be offended by anything. Besides…this whole imprint thing is still so new to me—isn't she perfect?

"Perfect," he muttered under his breath, too low for human ears. He rolled his eyes at me, and I tried not to laugh.

I beamed and ushered Regan into the kitchen to get her some punch. Alice had laid out an exquisite plethora of fancy looking party food and drinks, and I couldn't wait to be her personal testing-guinea pig. My mouth had been watering all day as the food had been delivered from Seattle, and I was ready to feast. I helped Regan balance as she served herself some of the non-alcoholic sangria. My heart warmed when she poured one for me into the fancy champagne glass and handed to it to me.

"To a new year," she said, holding it up.

"A new year indeed," I chuckled, clinking my glass to hers. She gave me a sort of….weird, lingering look before taking a sip of her cocktail.

What in the world was that about?

"This is amazing!" Claire gushed, dragging Quil into the kitchen after us. "Seth, who knew you could throw such a party?"

"I can't. But luckily Alice can!" I admitted.

"His idea of a party is throwing a piece of shitty steak on the grill and sucking down a case of Natty Light," Quil joked, slugging me in the arm.

I gave him an annoyed look that clearly said I'll kick your ass later and tried to ignore Regan as she giggled beside me.

"I think it looks nice in here, whether he planned it or not," Claire offered politely, patting me on the shoulder.

"Thank you, Claire!" I laughed.

"It's better than that pig sty you and Embry live in, that's for sure. At least Seth keeps this place clean!" she said, poking Quil's chest.

"I'm moving out soon…you know, getting my own place," he defended himself. Claire just rolled her eyes and continued observing the decorations.

I had to admit, my house looked amazing—well, the Cullens' house looked amazing. And I was completely thrilled that Regan liked it. Looking around as the party got into full swing, I was glad to be able to host something so fun for my friends and all of their dates. I was also happy that Regan was at my house and not out somewhere where I couldn't secretly watch her.

I caught the last of Edward's smirk as he walked into the kitchen with a curious looking Bella in tow. I watched her awkwardly attempt to make conversation with Regan, and I had to laugh. Some things never changed—vampire transition or not—I listened to Bella trip and stumble her way through polite questions to get to know her cousin better.

"So, but…you like Forks though, right? You're going to stay here?"

"I like it so far," Regan laughed, nodding good naturedly. "It's really rainy, but…I'm slowly getting used to it—the sucky weather and all."

Bella laughed, and I shared another amused look with Edward. "I hated the rain too, but…" She glanced over her shoulder at her husband and gave him a smile. "You find other distractions."

I watched as Regan blushed, nodding her head. I met Edward's eyes and mentally hollered at him.

Did she think of me? Tell me, please…did she think of me? Am I a distraction? I thought with a laugh. Edward nodded subtly as he draped an arm around Bella's shoulders. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

"I do like being here though. Your dad is so funny….he's just so…."

"He's just…" Bella started, looking at a loss for words.

"….Charlie," both of them said at the same time.

"There's really no other way to describe him," Regan laughed.

"Oh dad," Bella chuckled, nervously scratching her perfect hair.

I spent the rest of the night enjoying myself with everyone. It was a kick ass party. Esme had ordered plenty of food, the music was loud, the house looked great, and Regan was at my side. And best of all, Edward was going to tell me what it all meant at the end of the night. I was dying to get a peek into the mind of my imprint. Even if I couldn't see her like that yet, I at least wanted to know if there was a possibility she thought of me that way—or at least…maybe she would think of me that way someday. I couldn't be sure of anything right now, and I think that's what scared me the most. I knew without a doubt how much I loved Regan, but did she love me…even as a friend? My love for her was pure…there was no doubt about that. I'm sure my pack mates could see her as an appealing member of the opposite sex, but to me she was just…Regan. The beautiful thing about the time that had passed was the fact that I knew—really knew—that I loved her. I didn't just love her because imprint magic forced me to like I originally thought. I had fallen in love with her in an innocent sense just by being around her and getting to know her.

"So young, so tortured," Edward's voice drifted into my ears. I gave him a grin as he walked by with Jasper in tow. I was standing in the kitchen over the food, pretending to entertain my guests. What I was really doing was watching Regan as she danced with Claire in the living room. They were now twirling each other in circles and making each other dizzy—well, as much twirling as Regan could do with her cast. I watched as she giggled with Claire and chatted with the other dates and imprints. Only the girls were dancing in the large living room; all of the guys stood along the outside, talking and avoiding the dancing.

"Seth, killer party!" Zeke walked up and slapped me on the back.

"Thanks. But thank Alice…she's the one who organized the whole thing."

"Yeah, Alice…I'll have to, um…say something to her," he replied, nodding. I had to hand it to Zeke – he was adjusting to pack life pretty well. Being a wolf and being around vampires (friendly vampires) took work and some getting used to. It wasn't easy to be around your natural enemy and be in a friendly mood. It took time and patience to get comfortable with it, and Zeke was fairly new.

"You'll get used to it. How's your nose?" I asked.

He rubbed the side of his nose and nodded. "It's alright. Doesn't burn as bad as I thought. It helps that they…smell kinda like humans. Does that make sense? Like, they use human stuff and they smell like detergent and perfume and shampoo…and not like stinky, wild vampires."

I laughed at his antics. Zeke's family had moved away before he phased. Then one night, he had unexpectedly burst into a ball of fur, and we instantly were aware of a brand new wolf among us. Needless to say, his parents knew and had graciously agreed to move back to the area to help their son adjust with his new body. He was young and a bit squirrelly at times, but what seventeen-year- old wasn't?

"That makes sense. The Cullens are very human, Zeke. You'll get used to it."

"I know. Good vampires." He paused, rolling the words around in his head a bit. "You know, it kinda sounds like an oxymoron."

I laughed, opening another can of soda. I wasn't drinking tonight in case Regan needed me to drive her home—something I was more than willing to do.

"So are you excited to start at a real high school?" I asked.

"Yeah. Sure am! I've had enough home schooling to last me a lifetime. I can't wait to sit in a classroom and actually have people to talk to besides my mother," he said with an eye roll. I chuckled at him again, reaching over to muss his hair. Zeke was by far my favorite of all the younger generation of wolves. The Cullens kept out of La Push to help keep the wolf population down, but we still had an occasional rogue vampire that would wander through looking for them. After the great Volturi-almost-war, many nomads and newer covens-turned-families of vampires had been inspired by their 'animals only' ways. Sometimes we had violent vamps, but more times than not…we just had curious wanderers who were tired of taking lives. I was always more than happy to help direct them to the Cullens.

"Yeah, that couldn't have been too much fun."

"I'm really just…glad to be around you guys," he added quietly, looking up at me.

"I getcha," I agreed. There was no way I wouldn't have freaked the fuck out if I had phased all alone. At least Sam had been there within minutes of my first phase. Zeke had been alone for hours before we could figure out how to get to him. He had been too panicked to even concentrate.

I eyed him for a second before grinning and maneuvering him into a playful headlock.

"Seth, let him go!" Regan protested, walking up with Claire. I immediately let Zeke go, him cursing and rearranging his gelled hair.

"Pansy," I teased, and his eyes glinted mischievously. We shared a laugh as Regan and Claire both picked up a glass of sparkly punch.

"Why aren't you guys dancing?" Claire accused us, eyeing Zeke and myself. I rolled my eyes at Claire's antics.

"Because we're not Quil – we don't have to do what you tell us to!" I laughed, shaking my head at her. She pouted and looked at Regan.

"Make Seth dance," she grumbled, glancing back at the 'dance floor' that had formed in the living room. Alice had moved all of the furniture out of it, creating a large area to dance on. Loud music thundered throughout the house, creating a very party-ish atmosphere. I, however, was severely allergic to dancing and had zero coordination when it came to it. I could run in wolf form on the edge of a cliff to chase after a vampire, but on a dance floor and dress shoes…I was a disaster, and not to mention, one hell of a dorky dancer.

Regan shared a look with me. "Um, no, that's okay. It's actually almost midnight, so I'm, um…going to chill for a second…eat some snacks," she said slowly, nodding at Claire.

"Fine. You're off the hook for now…but I'll be back. Has anyone seen Quil?" she asked to the crowd of my friends in the kitchen as she walked away. Regan rolled her eyes at her best friend and turned to me with an expectant look.

"Thank you…for saving me," I laughed, patting her on the arm. She nodded, sampling one of the jalapeno poppers from the kitchen counter. We were standing around the island of the large, white kitchen where the food was located with Zeke.

"So are you excited to start school next week?" she asked him. I watched Zeke's eyes light up as he was actually being talked to. I had to give it to him – the kid was so outgoing and hyper that I think people thought he was a little obnoxious. He didn't have many friends before coming to La Push, so he was excited and a little anxious to meet new people. His thoughts were a jumbled mess of nerves and excitement when we patrolled together.

I listened to Zeke babble on about how excited he was to start school and meet girls—blah blah blah. He knew Regan was technically mine, so I tried to remember that he was just talkative as they conversed together. I couldn't help but look at Zeke several times and feel…sad. I wanted to be seventeen again. I wanted to be Regan's age. If I was seventeen, maybe she would want me…and maybe then it would be okay.

Swallowing back my self-pity, I tried to look at the upside. Regan was visibly better – both mentally and physically. She was getting her cast off in a few weeks as her ankle was almost healed. Emotionally, I think she was better too. She seemed happier these past few weeks and seeing her genuine, breathtaking smile was becoming a regular thing. She was more open, not just to me, but also with Sue and Charlie. She was learning how to bake from my mom, and she and Charlie had their inside jokes when it came to my mom's sometimes lovingly smothering tendencies. Mom even told me that Leah called her today just to catch up. They had grown really close over the holidays, and I was glad. I wanted my Regan to feel at home here in Forks, but most of all…I just wanted her to be happy.

"It's almost midnight!" someone yelled from the next room.

We all hurried into the living room where the entire party had gathered to watch the ball drop on TV. Emmett smacked me on the back and grinned as he and Rosalie gathered around us in the crowd.

"Hey man, great party…hey, Zeke," he said, nodding at my pack mate. Zeke nodded at the huge vampire, giving him his best friendly smile. Regan stared at Emmett, whom she hadn't met yet. It was funny how humans reacted to Emmett sometimes…their instincts told them something was wrong, but they couldn't be sure what.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!"

People were counting down, and my stomach twisted. What do I do? Do I kiss her? Of course not, my mind screamed. She's seventeen. Of course not!

But what do I do? What could I do?

"Seven! Six! Five! Four!"

My palms began to sweat as I panicked. What should I do at midnight? Pretend like nothing is happening? Shake her hand? What was protocol here? I desperately scanned the room for Quil so that I could take his lead, but there were too many people around. Shit!

"Three! Two! One!"

My decision was made for me. The next five seconds happened in slow motion. In front of me stood Regan and Zeke, behind Zeke stood Emmett who I suddenly realized didn't know who Regan was. How did I know this? Because he slapped Zeke on the back and told him to kiss Regan…my imprint.

"You can't leave a pretty girl hanging at midnight! Kiss her! Give her a smooch!" he bellowed over the cheers around us. I watched—with what I'm sure was a horrified look on my face—as Zeke was pushed towards her. Regan blinked in surprise as Emmett shoved Zeke closer and closer to her, jeering at him to kiss her.

Time slowed; it was like everything was happening in slow motion. Around us, noisemakers went off, confetti fell, and my friends all cheered about the brand new year…while I watched Zeke kiss Regan.

I'll never forget that moment in time. I watched with a blank face as he pressed his lips against hers—against what was mine. Her eye met mine as his mouth met hers, and she looked at me…she looked at me as he did it. I don't think he wanted to…as he pulled away, he gave me the most terrified look I've ever seen. It didn't matter…I couldn't be upset. Emmett didn't know, and I couldn't blame Zeke. I shouldn't have been mad.

But I was.

The shocked look on her face was the only thing that helped me through those next few moments. She didn't even look at him right away – her eyes were glued to me. She was watching me for my reaction, not him.

"Emmett!" Rosalie hissed. In the corner of my eye, I saw her give him what I assumed was a deathly hard punch on the arm. He winced, looking over at me.

"I didn't know!" he pleaded with his wife. She rolled her eyes and dragged him away.

"Sorry," Zeke laughed awkwardly, looking around. No one seemed to even notice except for the three of us. Everyone else was still yelling and goofing around with their noisemakers. I felt like I was paralyzed.

"Come on…come on, come with me." Edward's calm, smooth voice broke through my clouded mind as the party went on around me. The look of shock had begun to disappear from Regan's face, and Zeke was quickly backing away. Things were still moving in a type of blur that confused me. All I could think about was Regan being kissed by someone else. Mine! My inner wolf was starting to foam at the mouth; he was so angry. My human side fought to remain in control as Edward pulled me away from the loud crowd of partygoers in my living room.

He pulled me through the kitchen to the balcony, closing the doors behind us. When the chilly night air hit my face, I finally looked over at him.

"He…he kissed her," I stuttered out. "He kissed…he kissed her!" Reaching forward, I gripped the cold metal bars of the railing in front of me. My jealous side raged like a tornado. It was one of the first times I remember feeling cold in such a long time that it jolted me back to the present a little more. It was going to snow tonight; I could smell the frost in the air. Fine, I thought. My heart felt cold.

"Emmett didn't know she was your imprint. Zeke is a child. He's…he just made a mistake. He didn't want to do it. Trust me," Edward said, giving me a nod.

I looked at him sideways, trying to get a grip of myself. "But still…he—she kissed him."

"Seth…"

I dropped my head and stared at my feet, keeping a firm grip on the railing in front of me. I could have twisted it into a bow if I wanted to right now.

"Please don't."

"Sorry," I managed to croak. I felt like crying. What had happened to me? I was a twenty-seven-year-old man and I felt like crying?

"I…I want to be able to want her. I don't want to feel bad about it." I want the love I feel for her to be right….not a sick crime, I added in my mind.

Edward was in front of me in a flash, his golden eyes bright and wild. "Listen to me," he urged. I groaned, looking away. I was ashamed of the tears in my eyes.

"Nonsense. I've cried imaginary tears for my wife and child countless times. Happy ones, sad ones….a real man can shed tears of emotion."

"You're not helping," I groaned again, refusing to look my friend in the eye.

"Listen," he repeated. "I've seen the love you have in your heart…for that girl."

"So?" I challenged. "That doesn't mean jack."

"It means the world. I've seen into the deepest corners of your mind, Seth. I've seen it all. In the past few days that I've been home, I've heard every single solitary thought that has crossed your mind. And…and not one bit of it was sick or wrong."

"I just want it to be allowed," I whined pitifully.

"And it will be. Give it time. Great love is worth…is worth all the time that the world has to offer. Seth…Seth, look at me."

I allowed my gaze to finally meet his as his cold, stony hands gripped my shoulders.

"It's worth it."

I was silent as I stared at him, trying to convince myself that his words were true.

"You know they are."

I was quiet again, and so was he. That was the nice thing about having a best friend that could hear my thoughts. He knew I needed a minute.

"She didn't want to kiss him, if that makes you feel any better."

I looked up at him suddenly, my eyes wild. "She didn't?"

Edward shook his head, standing beside me at the railing. He gazed out at the yard below, his features thoughtful. I studied the side of his marble face for clues as to what he was going to say, but nothing could have prepared me for what came out of his mouth.

"She wanted it to be you."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I wandered back inside shortly after, my head still spinning with delight. She wanted it to be me—never mind that there was a good solid ten year age difference between us.

"She'll catch up to you sooner than you think. I've got almost a century on Bella. I think it's safe to say that…in affairs of the heart….age is seldom more than a number, Seth. And when the time is right…numbers will be the last thing on your mind."

"You think so?" I asked, closing the door behind me. Edward, ever the gentleman, had politely refused to tell me more of what Regan was thinking, other than the part about the kiss. He didn't want to betray a teenager's thoughts that much; although, he did tell me that her mind was a lot like Bella's – observant, shy, and very thoughtful. I told him I already knew.

"I know so. You'll have to trust me, Seth. I know how it feels to…" his voice trailed off, and he got a distant look in his golden eyes. He smiled faintly, slowly looking up to meet my gaze. "Well, let's just say I know what it is like to fall so hopelessly in love with someone that you can't—or maybe shouldn't have—and I know what it's like to be patient. But I can assure you…any trouble is worth it."

I nodded, looking towards the living room. Amazingly enough, over all the yelling and music and noise…I could still easily pick out Regan's heartbeat through it all. It got closer and closer until she was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking at me and Edward.

"Seth?" she asked. I looked over at her as she leaned against a bookshelf for support. "Where did you go?"

"Oh, um…just outside with Edward for a minute. Get some…fresh air."

Regan raised an eyebrow skeptically but said nothing as she hobbled over to me.

"I should go find Bella. You'll have to excuse me, Regan. I didn't properly kiss my wife for the New Year."

"Right, the New Year," she mumbled, giving him a crooked smile. He gave her a polite nod and vanished quietly around the corner to return to the party. My kitchen was somewhat quiet as my friends partied one room away. She slowly hobbled over, giving me another shy smile. Leaning forward on the counter, she gazed across at me and gave me a meaningful look.

"Can you believe it's already January?" she asked, picking up a toothpick that was adorned with a tiny 'Happy New Year' sign. Waving it at me, I chuckled and leaned on the counter across from her. Normally the tempting array of treats and delicious smelling appetizers would have enticed me to eat 'til I exploded, but…she was the only thing I could see at the moment.

"January, yeah," I murmured, staring at the shiny, little sign she held.

Regan tipped her head forward, giving a quiet giggle. "This time last year…gosh, I was…I think I was probably doing something I shouldn't have."

"Like what?" I wondered out loud.

She looked up at me, shrugging. "I'm here now, so…does it matter?"

We suddenly had matching smiles.

"What are you grinning at?"

"I could ask you the same thing…but you're always grinning. That's what I love about you," she giggled. She realized what she had said, and her face went serious and her heart began to race.

I froze, biting my lip, and trying to act like she hadn't just professed some kind of love for me—hell, I would take friendly, platonic 'I-love-you-like-I-love-puppies' kind of love if that meant she had a hint of that kind of feelings for me.

The silence loomed between us, but it wasn't uncomfortable. She looked up at me, the same pointed, hopeful expression from earlier appearing on her face.

"I'll turn eighteen this year."

Her words sucked all the noise out of the room. Did her gaze just turn expectant? I watched her watching me and suddenly I felt myself start to sweat. What did she mean by that?

"You just turned seventeen."

"So?" she challenged. I sighed.

"Regan…don't rush it. You'll be old before you know it…trust me."

She looked down at her hands, twirling the toothpick in her fingers. "Sometimes…sometimes I wish time would just go faster already."

I stared at her, suddenly sad. I didn't want that. I didn't want her to want time to go faster. I wanted her to be happy now.

"Time will go faster before you know it. Enjoy things now, Regs. Believe me."

She stared at me, and I felt myself shudder a little. Her green eyes were unyielding as she gazed at me, her heart beating faster in her chest. I gulped.

"I do, but…I can't help but wonder what…what things would be like if…when I….get older," she admitted.

I bobbed my head nervously, licking my lips. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? That she wanted to be older so that she could be with me and not feel bad about it? I couldn't be sure. Did I want to know? Did I want to start that yearning already?

"I think about that…" I blurted out before I could think.

Her perfect mouth fell open a little as she stared at me from across the kitchen counter. "You do?"

I stared back at her, unable to believe what I had just admitted to. Great, now she probably thought I was some kind of pervert.

"Can I ask you something?" she said quickly. I felt myself nod.

"Will you…will you still be around when I'm…older?"

I felt like the planet had dropped out from under me.

"Of course, Regan. Where do you think I'm gonna go?"

She smiled her delicate smile, shrugging slightly. "I don't know. But…I was just wondering."

People began filing into the kitchen after the excitement of the New Year had died down a bit, which pretty much shut us both up after that. Claire came and found her, and soon the two of them ran off to enjoy the rest of the party. I floated through about another half hour of it before Regan found me again.

"Can you take me home?"

"Of course," I blurted out faster than I could think. Part of me wanted to do whatever she asked. The other part of me wanted to see what she would do if we were alone again. Why was she so worried about getting older? Of course I would wait for her. What made her think that I wouldn't?

"You're blocked in. Take Jasper's," Alice whispered to me, pressing a fancy looking key into my palm. I watched her slink away as I stood in the entryway where Regan stood putting on her coat. Helping her out into the chilly night air, I looked at the key in my palm and quickly matched it to the car in the driveway.

"You're sure he won't mind?" she asked in disbelief, climbing into the shiny, black sports car. I shook my head.

"Not at all."

The ride home was silent. I thought she had fallen asleep, but she was just staring out the window as the black landscape rushed by. We made it to Charlie and Sue's house by one o'clock in the morning, and I could tell it was past her bedtime by the way her head was bobbing as she fought sleep.

As soon as I opened the door of Jasper's Porsche I smelled it. Vampire.

I made it to Regan's side of the car a little too fast for a human, but she didn't seem to notice. By the time I had gotten to her door to stand in front of it possessively, I realized—like a jackass…again— that I was smelling Alice's distinct, sickly sweet scent. Most vampires smelled different; Alice smelled like vampire laced with expensive perfume and silk. Relaxing a bit, I finally opened Regan's door and helped her out of the car.

"I'm so tired," she whined, yawning stiffly as I helped her up the front steps.

"That's why I brought you home," I chuckled, opening the screen door.

Regan raised one sleepy eyebrow at me and huffed. "I know that, dork."

I smiled at her affectionate nickname for me as she walked inside. Sue and Charlie were long asleep; my mom was lucky if Charlie made it to ten thirty most nights. I listened as their hearts beat almost in peaceful unison from upstairs. I turned my attention back to Regan just as she was pointing upwards.

"What is that?"

I looked up and groaned inwardly. That was what Alice was doing.

"It's mistletoe. That little…"

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Um, yeah, it's mistletoe." I briefly wondered where Alice had found fresh mistletoe and hung it above the entrance to the living room between the party and our drive home, but then again…it was Alice. Now I at least knew why Charlie's house reeked of her stealthy mission.

"Oh well…" I heard Regan gulp. That broke my stare at the pesky weed hanging by a delicate nail above our heads.

"Well what?" I laughed, looking down at her. Regan shifted nervously from her normal foot to her plastic boot cast, swallowing nervously again.

"You're…you're…um—ah, never mind," she finally spit out, scratching awkwardly at her head. I watched as her delicate features furrowed into a frown, causing her whole face to scrunch up.

Suddenly, I thought, did she want me to kiss her? I felt my palms start to sweat at the idea. It wasn't that I didn't want to…it was just that…she was seventeen and…it was completely and utterly…wrong. It was—no…it was just wrong, no matter how I looked at it.

"Well, uh…I guess I won't…" I trailed off slightly as her face fell. "…leave you hanging," I finished, bending down quickly. Time slowed as I lowered my face to hers and pressed my lips against her cheek. I watched her eyes flutter closed as my face got closer. Her cherry almond scent enveloped me as I kissed her soft face, and time ceased to exist if only for a second. I pulled away, trying my best to keep things PG rated. I realized with a split second of sheer horror that her lips were slightly puckered as if I was supposed to have kissed them instead of her pink cheek. As I pulled away, I could see them start to redden. Her hand flew up to the place where I had kissed her, touching her face.

Oh god.

"Are you alright? You like…like you're going to be sick," I blurted out. I slapped my own hand across my mouth as Regan gave me a look of shock. Her mouth was open and her cheeks were scarlet red—a red I could never forget. She gaped at me.

"Was that weird?"

My words hung in the air as she stared at me. "Um…um, no, of course not," she finally stuttered. "Why would that be weird?" She was trying her best to sound nonchalant, but her heartbeat deceived her.

"I don't know. Because I kissed you?"

"You're…Seth. You're like my best friend. That's not weird."

I felt my cheeks mold themselves into a smile, the warmth melting all of my uncertainty away. "Really?"

She laughed nervously, her green eyes wide. "Like…well...you and Claire. You're in the top two so…so yeah, you can feel good about that, I guess."

"Deal. I'll take it," I admitted happily, jamming my hands into the pockets of my dressy pants.

"I'm not tired anymore. Would you…would you watch the snow with me? Is that weird?"

"What is it with you and weird tonight?"

"I don't know…blame it on teenage insecurities."

"I'll watch snow with you, sure," I chuckled, draping an arm around her shoulders. She walked with me to the couch, flopping down on the plush cushions. I turned out the light next to the window, letting us see the falling snowflakes better.

Exultation. That's what I felt as she plopped down on the couch next to me, our thighs pressed together. Her arm intertwined itself with mine in such a comfortable, innocent way that I thought I couldn't get any happier.

"This is just…perfect," she muttered, smiling happily. She turned her head and looked at me sheepishly, and I could tell that some of her embarrassment from earlier was beginning to wear off. She was quiet for a long time after that, both of us watching the snow with pure contentment.

"Regan?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you…happy, here…in Forks?"

She thought a moment. "I…I am now."

I could tell she was waiting for more questions on my end, but I held off. "Good."

We stayed there, watching the snow fall for a few more minutes. I sat there, listening to the steady breaths that left her small body when suddenly I realized that she had fallen asleep. At that same moment, her head slumped against my shoulder. I smiled as I felt her warm breath upon it, her face against the fabric there.

On its own accord, my hand rose up, and I ran the back of my hand across her cheek. She looked so perfectly content there—against me, sleeping. For once, she looked like she didn't have a care in the world and my heart soared. I felt like I was doing my job for her…my imprint. The time I had spent without her seemed too far away and insignificant now that…I could almost barely remember it. I sighed, touching her cheek one last time as I looked down at her. Her heartbeat had slowed, signaling that she was completely out.

I felt so whole in that moment…sitting on the couch with her molded against me, feeling so perfect, just watching the snow fall from the sky. "My little missing puzzle piece," I muttered to myself, admiring the way her eyelashes looked against her cheeks.

Edward's words from earlier echoed in my head. "She wanted it to be you…."

I stroked her cheek again with the lightest touch I could manage. I could watch her sleep forever.

"I'd walk through hell for you, you know that?" I whispered almost silently. I pressed my lips to her hair, kissing her with all the emotion I could manage to muster. "I hope you know that."


	30. Chapter 30

Regan

I leaned miserably on the counter, gripping the sides of my coffee cup for warmth. A long, misty stream of steam rose up from the black liquid, warming my nose.

"Isn't it supposed to be getting warmer?" I groaned, looking over my shoulder as Sue walked into the kitchen. She gave me a knowing smile and shrugged as she playfully bumped me out of the way to get her coffee fix.

"Don't whine," she chided me. I rolled my eyes and gazed out the back window. A Frost had settled over the backyard, coating the first green hints of spring in a silvery cloak. It was depressing.

"Frost?"

"So?"

"I hate the cold…why does it always have to be so cold?"

"Don't hog all the coffee," she hissed, giving me a mock stern glare. She flashed her perfect, white teeth and shrugged again. "It's Forks. Just because it's March doesn't mean that it's supposed to be warm. I've seen it snow in May before," she warned.

"Ulgh," I groaned, shuffling back upstairs. I held my precious coffee in my hands, basking in the warmth of the cup as I moved slowly back to my room. I got ready for school in a foggy daze, and spent most of my day that way.

Life had finally settled down for me. It was March, and I had already been in Forks for over half a year. I hadn't seen my mother since I left, and it was beginning to bother me less and less. I quickly realized that I needed certain people in my life, and others…well, I just didn't. The past three months had passed with a type of steady, reliable monotony that I had grown strangely fond of. It was nice to not have something rip me from my daily routine, whether it was a week where my mom was out of town on business, a trip to the principal's office, or something else that had happened in my old life. I called it my old life now because it felt that way. I didn't feel like the same Regan, and it felt good. I was happy.

Sue and Charlie had accepted me into their lives like they would have another child. I knew that they had saved my life. Not in a dramatic sense, but…I studied now. I felt like I had a purpose. I actually enjoyed school. I didn't drink or smoke pot or hang out with a bad crowd. Teachers could count on me to turn in a paper on time. I had friends, and not just any - good friends. People I could count on. I felt like a new person, but it was a person I didn't mind being. Being in Forks was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

So my life went on in Washington, and I grew more and more accustomed and happily satisfied with what I would have labeled 'boring' a year ago. Great. Give me boring. I would happily take it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Regan, please wake up. It's noon already!" Claire chided me. She dropped her plastic tray down on the lunch table with a loud clang, earning herself several glares from nearby students that she didn't notice. She sat down with a thump and looked at me expectantly.

"Is it going to rain every day? I don't think I can handle rain every day…well maybe some days, but…"

I looked to my other side, where our new friend, Alexandra—or Lexi as she preferred—was sitting down. She rolled her eyes, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder.

Lexi had moved to Forks from California at the beginning of the semester, and I had been elated to not still be 'the new girl' at Forks High. Claire and I had invited her to sit with us on her first day, and the rest was history. It was almost impossible not to like Lexi. I was instantly envious of my outgoing, comical, new friend. She was loud and a bit of a clown, never ceasing to laugh at herself for doing something ditzy and silly, and she was also sweet. She would say or do something completely goofy and clutzy, but one look from her big blue eyes as you were laughing along with her before you could help it. Plus, she shared my hatred for the cold since she was from a warm state like I was. With her tan skin, light blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes, she did anything but blend in when she came to Forks. The boys were already drooling over her without any shame.

"I'd get used to it. We warm weather girls tend to wither in this cold weather…" I muttered, cracking open my soda. Claire just rolled her eyes at this.

"We can't all be from the sunny states," she mused, looking around the cafeteria. "But we need to get down to business. Who are we going to take to prom?" She pulled out several thick prom edition magazines and dropped them on the table with another loud thump. Lexi and I jumped a little.

"Claire, give it a rest," I moaned, shaking my head at her. Prom was not something I was looking forward to. How could I possibly worry about getting a date when the date I wanted was currently sipping coffee and reading the paper down at the Forks Police Dept.? I shifted guiltily in my seat as if someone could hear my thoughts.

"How can I give it a rest? This is prom, Regan. Prom!"

"And?" I asked. I was annoyed with Claire, and but I shouldn't be. I felt guilty for who I actually wanted to take to prom. It wasn't easy having a best friend who was a twenty-something-year-old cop that was seriously off-limits.

I shouldn't think the things I did about him, and I knew it. Seth and I were close, probably closer than I was with Claire. Our friendship had done nothing but strengthened; meanwhile, my feelings for him only deepened. I will say that I don't know what got into me on New Year's Eve. Maybe something just…snapped inside my head—I couldn't be sure. Maybe it was seeing Seth looking so handsome and suave in his dress clothes…or wanting him all to myself, or…maybe it was Zeke kissing me. Don't get me wrong, I love Zeke. He's become a great friend to me the past few months, but he's just that…a friend.

Zeke has always been the logical choice for me. But when have I ever done the logical thing? Never. He's attractive, has a body to kill for, and he's almost as sweet as Seth. Most people think he's Seth's younger brother—they look so much alike and are always smiling—but…he's not Seth.

As I daydreamed about my naughty, school girl crush, Claire ignored my lack of interest as usual.

"Who dresses like this?" she complained, flipping through the prom magazine with distaste. "Do you dress like this? I don't know anyone who dresses like this…" she yammered on.

"No one does," Lexi responded flatly, not even glancing at the magazine. I could tell by the look on her face that prom was the last thing on her mind as well.

"They make it impossible to see the dresses—not that any of these are right…"

I still knew that my attraction to Seth was wrong. It was the same battle I had fought six months ago. I fought it every day, but if you asked me, it was the last thing I ever wanted to give up. He was older—much older than I was—and yet I couldn't help myself. Seth was impossible not to love, and it was getting harder and harder to hide. Anyway, I'm not sure what happened on New Year's. I felt like I would suffocate if I didn't ask Seth what was going to happen in the future. My chest felt all tight after Zeke kissed me, and I felt like I was going to explode. I had to at least see if Seth showed any interest in me in the slightest. Call me crazy, but I half expected him to wait for me. I knew he couldn't possibly want a stupid high school girl, but I had to hang onto the idea that he would want me when I got older. I asked him those questions in the kitchen for my own sanity. After he took me home and gave me a kiss on the cheek under the mistletoe, we had fallen asleep together on the couch. I woke up the next day still in my dress on my bed, and I had thought things were going to be weird…maybe even different between us, but I had been wrong.

If anything, we were more 'friendish' now than we had ever been; we hung out, we laughed, we joked, and we entertained each other. He was like a big brother to me—an extremely hot, sexy, gorgeous, big brother that I happened to NOT be related to.

I sighed, moving the spoon around in my soup.

"Something wrong? What's eating you? You've been out of it today," Lexi noticed. I gave her a smile, shrugging. For a loveable goofball, she was extremely observant and a good listener.

"Nah, I'm fine. Just not looking forward to work tonight," I admitted. "I have to close, so that blows."

I still worked part time at the Piggly Wiggly bakery. I hate to admit it, but I didn't half mind it. It gave me some spending money, and it certainly wasn't hard work. Sue had been right…it had kept me out of trouble.

My little window stunt had been the last of the 'Regan does stupid stuff' kick I had apparently been on when I first arrived in Forks. Not that it had been difficult; Claire kept me in line for the most part, and I didn't want to screw up anymore. I think part of it was wanting Seth to see me as an adult. Adults didn't fall out of their bedroom windows. I sighed to myself and tried to make it look like I wasn't completely miserable thinking about prom. Leaning back in the plastic chair, I gazed out the windows of the cafeteria and into the bleary spring day outside.

"I'll come visit you. I need poster board for my History project anyway," Claire muttered as Zeke sat down at our table. "I can't expect this yahoo to take charge."

"Who are you calling a yahoo?" Zeke asked, feigning hurt. He shrugged it off and looked at the three of us expectantly.

"Are you guys coming to the bonfire next weekend? Kick off spring break in style?"

I tore my gaze away from the window and frowned. "Who has spring break when there's still snow on the ground? Crazy," I pouted.

Claire laughed. "You think you'd be used to this weather by now. Yeah we'll be there, Zeke. Keep your pants on."

"What about you Lex? You in?"

I watched Lexi flash him a dazzling smile and give him a determined stare. "You bet. I've heard enough about how pretty these La Push boys are to last me a lifetime. I'm ready to find out for myself," she said with a confident snort. I rolled my eyes and tried not to blush. I had clued my friend in on how hot I thought Seth was, but I knew I could trust Lexi. She looked at me sideways and took a sip of her soda.

The day passed by uneventfully. Claire selected a few stores out of her prom magazine that she wanted to visit in Seattle, and Lexi had agreed to at least half-ass look for a date to prom—not that she would have to look far. She was the new, shiny blonde girl in boring little Forks, and guys practically drooled as she walked down the halls; but she was too nice to frown at their stares like Claire could. Her bubbly smile and flashy white teeth didn't go unnoticed in Forks.

After school, I unfortunately had to pull my shift at the Piggly Wiggly until closing. I was wrist deep in the next day's muffin dough when Claire walked up.

"You make an apron work, Regan."

"Thanks," I said flatly, trying to rub some flour off my nose. Claire rolled her eyes as I managed to wipe even more of it onto my nose.

"Nice," she noticed. I blew a piece of hair away from my face and gave her an annoyed look.

"Did you just come up here to make fun of how glamorous my job is?"

"No," she practically growled. "Who are you taking to prom?"

"Claire, we've been over this. I don't know! Why? It's like…two months away, god…"

"No, today is March 26th. Prom is on May 8th. That's like…six weeks. Less than six weeks!"

"It is? Oh…well…crap. I don't know."

"So you're just going to hope someone just asks you? You're not going to like…plan it out?"

"No, why? Maybe I won't go. I've never been one for dances anyway."

"This isn't a dance, Regan. This is prom. Prom!"

"I know what it is. Why are you so worked up about this?"

"Think about it. Who do we spend a majority of our time with?"

"I don't know…eh…" I realized she was talking about Seth and Quil. Two seventeen-year-old girls couldn't exactly just invite two huge, older, hulking Native American men to their prom without people asking questions.

"Exactly."

"Oh," I nodded, finally understanding. Her point was that we didn't really hang out with many guys…most of our time was pleasantly monopolized in her case by Quil, and in mine, Seth. When I wasn't with Claire or Lexi, I was with Seth.

"One of us could take Zeke," I pointed out.

Claire shook her head. "Nah…Quil would hate that."

"Why?"

"He gets…protective."

"Of you?"

"No, of my cat. Yes me."

I rolled my eyes at Claire and switched off the dough mixer, brushing the extra flour off my hands. Honestly, I hadn't really given prom all that much thought. I didn't want to because I knew that Seth couldn't be there.

"I think you have more flour in your hair and on your face than you have in that dough," Claire laughed, leaning over the counter. She wrinkled up her nose and surveyed my work surroundings.

"No one said it was all glamour," I replied flatly, brushing my hair out of my slightly sweaty face.

"Come on, Regan, you have to decide who you're taking and get on it. At this rate, no one is gonna ask you!" Claire chided me.

"No one is gonna ask her where?"

I looked up at the familiar voice, the blood automatically rushing to my cheeks. Seth. He always made me blush when I first see him. My eyes were automatically drawn to the smile that was radiating from him—as usual—sometimes I think of his smile as my own personal sun.

"Prom," Claire answered in an annoyed tone. She playfully slapped him on the arm as he walked up beside her. He gave me a fleeting, petrified look.

"Sorry, serious business," he mocked, giving me another smile. I shook my head and continued cleaning up after my baking.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you patrolling?"

"I am—geez!" he chuckled. "The Piggly Wiggly is definitely in my jurisdiction. I was just making sure no one was, uhm…holding it up."

"Right," Claire mused, flipping a strand her hair behind her shoulder. "Well, we were just discussing prom and who we want to take us."

I watched Seth's face curiously as he stood beside her, listening to babble. Did he just look…sad…at the idea of me finding a date? My heart could only hope.

Please wait for me, Seth…my mind chanted. Pressing my lips together, I pretended to be busy.

"So…who are you guys taking to prom?" I heard Seth ask casually. Claire cleared her throat and crossed her arms.

"Good question."

I shrugged at her and went back to pretending to look busy. I heard Seth shift his feet, and I looked over my shoulder at him. He met my gaze but quickly looked away. He did look sad.

"I was in the middle of telling Regan here that time is wasting when you barged in and interrupted our conversation," she teased, eyeing me.

"Who are you taking to prom?" Seth asked. I gave him a skeptical glare and brushed off my hands.

"No one…well, as of right now."

"Oh." Did he look relieved?

We continued to talk for a few more minutes about my and Claries' lack of date options when a woman walked up to the counter.

"I know you close in a few minutes, but do you have any idea what kind of muffins you'll have tomorrow? I'm going to a brunch, and I told them I'd bring the pastries. I need to know now if I need to make the drive somewhere else."

I nodded and went to check what was on the muffin menu for the next day.

"Where do you keep the coffee here?"

"Um, isle seven," I answered, my eyes scanning the list. I looked up just in time to see Claire size the woman up, her arms crossed defiantly. The woman ignored her and continued sizing up Seth. I felt my heart start to pound in my ears.

I'm…I'm jealous! I realized, my eyes widening a little. She gazed sideways at him, smiling flirtatiously. I felt myself begin to seethe. I ground my teeth together, staring at her. She was nothing special, but I realized quickly…she was older—much older; Seth's age—granted I wasn't sure his exact age, but I knew that he was still in his twenties. This girl was clearly that old, maybe even thirty. But she was older than me and that was all I noticed.

"I don't know where that is…can you show me?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at Seth. My heart pounded faster as I stood in the middle of the bakery, watching the horrific scene unfold before my eyes. I was jealous—not just jealous, but so green with a fierce envy that it was rattling down to my beat up tennis shoes. Claire stood on the other side of her, staring daggers into the back of her perfectly teased hair. What was a woman like that doing at the Piggly Wiggly just before closing time anyway? Fate was not in my corner.

"Uh…sure, I can," I heard him stutter. She flashed him another smile, and he slowly walked away with her stupid, giggling, flirting butt in tow.

I walked up to the counter and leaned on it for support. One word flashed in front of my red-hazed vision: Mine.

"Ulgh, I hate that," Claire growled under her breath, clicking her tongue. We watched from a distance as Seth directed her to the isle where the coffee was kept. She held up two kinds, clearly asking for his opinion. He politely pointed to one, laughing uncomfortably.

"Hate what?" I asked in a robotic voice, not taking my eyes off of them. I felt my hands start to shake.

"I hate it when girls flirt with them."

"I hate it too," I blurted out before I could think. I thought Claire was going to laugh at me and make fun, but she simply gave me a sideways, knowing look.

"I wish I could say that you get used to it…but you don't. Flirting…ulgh…makes me so damn mad."

"I'm not mad." Claire's skeptical look made me look at the floor.

"He's not my…my property or anything. He's not…mine."

"He's your friend though. And you shouldn't have to watch him…flirt with that skank right in front of you."

"Claire!"

"Whatever. She's a skank. Just look at her with her stupid…um…just— ulgh. I hate her," she grumbled, her eyebrow twitching.

I had to laugh at her clear distaste for the girl that was flirting with Seth. "Claire…he's not mine to…be mad at. I'm seventeen. I need to get a grip."

She turned around and looked at me, uncrossing her arms. "Regan, maybe if you say it enough, it'll be true," she replied sarcastically, giving me another knowing look. Her expression softened.

"Come on, Regs. It's no secret. You feel the same way about Seth that…that I do about Quil."

My jaw dropped a little. In the time we had been friends, she always referred to Quil as her 'best friend' or her 'babysitter', never before had she admitted to having actual feelings for Quil. I kept my mouth shut, trying to block out the distant giggles from 'Skanky Girl' in the coffee isle.

"It's not easy. He's so much older…"

"Yeah…how old is Quil?"

She shook her head. "Too old…for me. But…Regan, I still know how it feels," she said softly, looking over her shoulder. Her eyes found Seth, and I followed them. "I know how it feels to want someone you can't ever have."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I watched them standing together in the coffee isle and I felt myself grow more saddened with every passing moment. I A pang of pain sliced through my heart when I realized why: they matched—they looked right together - good. They were the same age and it showed. Seth looked like he belonged with a girl like that. He was tall, dark, and handsome with a great set of teeth, and the girl I was glaring at was the female version of him. He belonged with someone like her—and not someone like me. I felt another stab in the chest as I pictured myself with him.

Stupid, little Regan trailing after her crush in her beat up Chucks and backpack…

"Yeah, I know." I watched my friend's saddened face return to normal as 'Skanky Girl' walked towards the checkout while Seth made his way back towards us.

"What a weirdo. She just kept giggling. Am I really that funny?" Seth asked as he approached us. His hands were jammed into the pockets of his police uniform, his expression befuddled.

"No," Claire snapped flatly. "I'll see you tomorrow," she called to me, rolling her eyes. I gave her a wave and watched her stalk away as she ignored Seth's befuddled look.

"What's her deal?" Seth asked, pointing to her. I gave him a blank look and shrugged my shoulders.

"Oh, just…Claire being Claire, I guess."

"Figures. You want a ride home?" he asked, shrugging off Claire's snarkiness. I felt myself relax a little.

"Nah, I'm gonna be awhile. I can just call Charlie, I guess."

"You and I both know he's dozing in his chair. Come on, I'll give you a ride."

"I have to close."

"I'll wait."

I smiled and felt myself relax even more as I calmed down. If he wanted to stay and flirt with the skanky girl, he would have…my mind told me. I sighed and began cleaning up. When I was finished, Seth followed me out the back door and into the Piggly Wiggly parking lot.

"What's eating you?" he asked, casually bumping me as we walked toward the Bronco.

"Nothing. Eh…prom, I guess. I don't know who to take."

He looked at me, nodding. "Yeah, prom. That's a big thing for girls, right?"

"Didn't you go?" I asked, looking up at him. He opened the door to the Bronco, shaking his head.

"Nah…I was busy with other things."

I frowned as he walked around to climb into his side. "Besides…I didn't like any girls enough to take them to the prom."

"That's what I'm worried about, I guess," I admitted, buckling myself in. "I want to go with someone I'll have fun with…as like…friends."

He paused before turning the key. I watched him swallow and think a minute. "Do you like anyone at school?"

His question was simple, yet it hung in the air. Time stood still in the beat-up Bronco.

"No." I swallowed nervously, looking over at him. He avoided my gaze, putting the Bronco into drive. We were silent the rest of the way home.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Spring continued to slowly creep into Forks. By the next weekend, spring break had begun. It was the first week of April, and I was still as of yet dateless for prom. It loomed ahead of me like a dark storm cloud, threatening to downpour. I don't know what I expected to happen really. Of course I couldn't take Seth, that idea was completely ludicrous. So what did I expect? I wasn't sure.

"Are you alright?"

Sue's voice cut through my thoughts. It was evening, and we were heading home from my shift at work. I had asked for a few extra shifts at the bakery, just in case I wanted to buy a prom dress. So far my interest in going to prom had waned. I was so sick of worrying about it that I was about to just say forget it.

"I'm fine, just thinking."

"Everything okay?"

I nodded and stared out the window.

"Figure out what you're going to do over break?"

I gave her a half hearted smile in the dim light of the car, trying to be polite. I knew Sue was just hoping I would open up to her; she always knew when something was bothering me.

"I have a project to work on and a paper due the week after, but nothing much."

"Oh…" she said, steering around a curve. Suddenly, her foot hit the brakes, the tires screeching. She gasped, and I screamed as the car slid to a rough, abrupt halt.

"Oh my god," she gasped, her eyes wide. Her hands gripped the steering wheel so tight that I could see them turning white in the darkness. I followed her gaze and gasped.

There on the road stood a wolf—not just any wolf…but a wolf that was easily the size of a small horse. It stood tall and defiant in the middle of the road, its hackles raised. Sue stared at it as it stood in front of her headlights, unmoving. It was only about ten feet away from us, and I felt my heart start to pound. That thing was huge. I stared at it, absolutely captivated.

I had never seen a wolf so close. I had no idea they could get that big and huge. Its coat was a mixture of a red, black, sandy, and white colors all rolled into one. Black fur decorated his back, yet faded into almost white at its muzzle. Its muscular shoulders shifted as he lowered his head. The animal's lips had been pulled up over its teeth but lowered when it saw us. My eyes shifted up to the wolf's eyes and…I gasped.

It had the most human-like gaze I had ever seen. I stared at it, my jaw dropping open. The warm brown tones of the animal's eyes shimmering in the headlights of the car was so captivating, it was almost creepy. I continued to stare at it as I felt the hair on my arms stand up. It blinked, turning its huge head to look at me. It stared at me in the car, unmoving.

"Sue…" I whispered, feeling my hands begin to shake. "Sue, what's happening?"

She stared at it, visibly calmer. Then, it shook its head. I gasped, feeling like my eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.

"Did it just shake its head at us?" I screeched. Sue calmly reached up, putting her car in reverse.

"Sue…Sue…" I chattered nervously, still staring at the massive beast in front of us. It blinked several times in the headlights as she turned the car around.

"Where are we going?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at the huge wolf, which was still standing in the middle of the road.

"We're taking the long way home."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next night was the night of my second bonfire in La Push. It was the first night of spring break, and Seth's friends wanted to kick it off right. I gazed out the front bay window, watching the light fade from the sky. It was only seven, but the sun was just now setting; a surefire sign that the days were getting longer. Seth was picking me up, as usual, and I was nervous.

Glancing down, I frowned at the tops of my breasts as they sat uncomfortably perched a few inches too high. The push up bra I had purchased online that had originally seemed like such a good idea now…wasn't. Shaking the thought, I watched for the headlights of Seth's ugly Bronco on the road in front of Sue and Charlie's house.

"Not too late tonight okay?"

I looked over my shoulder at Charlie, who was seated in his armchair with a TV tray in front of him, assembling his homemade fishhooks.

"Do I need to remind you that I'm being picked up by a cop?"

Charlie cocked an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything. Sue lovingly mussed his dark brown hair as she sat down on the arm of the chair next to him. "You'll never catch that many fish," she pointed out, turning her head. She leaned against him, gazing down at the gear assembled in front of him. He made a growling noise to acknowledge her but said nothing else.

I waited only a few more minutes before I heard the Bronco rumbling up the street. "Bye!" I called out, bouncing out the door. I pulled my zip up down vest tighter around me in the chilly night air, racing down to the truck. I jumped inside, giving Seth my best smile.

"Hey!" he greeted me, giving me his signature smile. I felt my heart beat a little faster, as it always did when I saw him. He grinned, his eyes falling on my tight, V-neck shirt under my vest.

"It's uh…cold out there. You gonna be warm enough in that?" he asked, looking away politely. I felt my stomach sink a little.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet as we made our way to La Push.

"You seem on edge," I pointed out after half of our unusually quite ride was over. We were halfway to La Push, and Seth had barely said five words to me. Usually by now he had said a hundred times that.

"Yeah, just a, um…rough week at work."

"Everything okay?"

He looked over at me, somewhat pleased that I had asked him about work. "Yeah…just worried. There's been, um…some activity around that I don't really like."

"Can you tell me what?"

He took a deep breath; his chiseled cheek bones making his face look tense.

"It's no big deal, just…Regan, you never go into the woods, right?"

I shook my head and shivered. "N-no."

"Good. Promise me you won't ever…wander off into the woods. You could get lost, and…no telling what's out there. Okay? Just stick to the yard."

"Seth," I laughed. "I hate the woods. I made you kill a bug in the bathroom last week. Does that give you a hint? Why would I ever go into the woods?"

He chuckled. "I don't know. Just being worrisome is all."

We pulled up to the bonfire, and I immediately grew tense. I had managed to avoid Brady since the last bonfire. I knew he would be in attendance tonight, and my number one goal was to avoid him.

"Promise me you won't punch anyone tonight, Seth."

"What?" he asked, giving me a shocked look.

"Just…promise me."

"Promise," he grinned, bounding out of the Bronco. I followed closely behind him down the narrow trail to the beach, glancing around me into the dark woods. A shiver rolled down my spine. What on earth had he been talking about? What had happened that week at work?

Once we were there, I mainly clung to Seth's side as he chatted and laughed with his friends. He avoided going near Brady, and for that I was glad. I spotted his friend, Embry, sitting by himself on a picnic bench and walked over. Embry was always nice to me; we were both shy, and parties weren't really our thing.

"Hey, Embry," I said, giving him a wave. I helped myself to the drinks, pouring a bit of Sprite into a plastic cup. He nodded at me, his normally smiling face somewhat sour.

"Hey, Reg. What's up?"

"Just freezing my ass off out here, as usual. Where's your girlfriend?" I asked, looking around. I remembered the night about a month ago when I had been bowling with Seth, Quil and Claire, and Embry had tagged along. He had met Sydney, who was Claire's friend from childhood. She was from Makah but had moved to Seattle to attend college. Claire had brought her bowling, and the sparks had flown instantly between the two—not that I could blame him. With her long, black hair, tan skin, and almond shaped eyes, Sydney was more beautiful than most girls could dream about.

"What girlfriend?" he replied flatly, giving me another sad look. I sat down beside him.

"You know who I'm talking about. Claire said Sydney came back this week. She said she came back to La Push just to see you. Now what's that about?"

He smirked, tossing the twig he was playing with into the fire. "She's not for me, I guess," he said sadly, leaning forward. He rested his elbows on his knees as I watched him sulk.

"How do you know that?"

"If she wanted to be here…she would be here."

"Did you invite her?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"She has a boyfriend, Regan."

My mouth dropped open. I didn't know that. My heart ached for him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so nosy. I guess Seth is wearing off on me."

He chuckled sadly. "Yeah, I guess he is."

We were both quiet for a moment, watching the party get into swing around us. "It…it sucks to want something you can't have. I'm sorry, Embry," I offered softly.

He looked up at me, giving me a strange smile. His eyes shifted to Seth, who was standing with a few older boys I didn't know. Nodding, he looked back at me.

"You'll be alright. Me…well…" he trailed off. I stood, sensing he wanted to be alone.

"Well either way…I hope it all works out for you."

"Me too, Regs. Thanks."

I stood up, walking back over to Seth with my red, plastic cup in my cold hands. I stood with him, sometimes leaning into his side as he chattered to his friends, joking and laughing. By the time Zeke arrived with Quil, Claire, and Lexi, I was already shivering.

"Let's go stand by the fire," Claire chattered, her teeth clicking together in the cold.

"Let's introduce Lexi to boys," Lexi quipped, crossing her arms. She looked around the fire at the La Push boys as they all looked back. She was getting one interested glance after another as she flashed her best smile and stood with us next to the fire.

"So many of them…they're all so…pretty," she giggled into my ear, linking her arm with mine. I shrugged and tried not to blush as I grinned. "I feel like on display," she whispered.

"You love it," I laughed. She rolled her eyes and giggled.

"I know, right?"

"Incoming," Claire coughed under her breath, and I stiffened. That was girl talk for 'asshole alert'. Looking up, I saw Brady as he stalked toward us. Only, his expression was…weird. My heart began to pound until I realized he wasn't walking towards us…he was walking towards Lexi. His gaze was fixed on her; he had the dopiest looking stare that I had ever seen on a person as he walked over to where the three of us were huddled by the fire.

"Hi," he said meekly, stepping closer-than-acceptable to Lexi. She stopped talking mid-sentence and gaped at him.

"Um, hi?" she replied, frowning slightly at him.

His gaze was glazed over, a rare dopey smile decorating his features. His tan face was slack, as if he had no control. When Lexi spoke, it looked like he was high. The grin that appeared was the strangest thing to ever see on Brady of all people.

"I'm Brady," he breathed, holding out his hand. She shook it, and he immediately jerked his head down to stare at their interlocked hands. I watched in wonder as he appeared to be settling into some deep sort of trance.

"Is he on drugs or what?" Claire hissed in my ear.

"I'm Lexi…and you're Brady?" He nodded, eager to answer her question. She blinked her bright, blue eyes and looked at me awkwardly. I had told her about Brady; she knew right away which Brady he was.

"Um…nice to meet you. You're pretty nice…for a jerk."

His jaw dropped, as did mine. Brady looked at me, but his expression wasn't of blind rage like I thought it would be. He looked sad. More than that, he looked absolutely heartbroken.

"I…I…"

"No, you listen here, jerk. You're a pathetic excuse for a man. You mess with my friends, you mess with me. Now go back to the sewer you crawled out of, you useless rat!" she spat, yanking her hand from his. He jumped at the loss of contact. Lexi crossed her arms, her small nose making its way sky-high into the air. Brady's jaw dropped down ever further, and the glassy look in his eyes disappeared.

"Um…um…"

"That's right," she quipped, still staring him down. "Get lost. No dogs allowed."

He turned, still completely flabbergasted, and stumbled away, looking over his shoulder. He looked like he didn't know what hit him.

"Lex, I—"

"No, Regan. You told me how he is. I wouldn't want anything to do with him. Ever."

I stared at her, suddenly realizing what a friend I had stumbled upon in Lexi. Now not only did I have Claire, but I had Lexi as well. She smiled back at me, reaching forward to squeeze my elbow. She gave me a reassuring smile just as Seth walked up.

"Are you alright? I…I saw…"

"Yeah, I'm…I'm fine," I assured him, nodding. He smiled nervously, glancing over at Brady, who was standing across from the fire looking like he had gotten sucker punched in the gut.

"What just happened?" I asked, pulling on his arm. I led him away from the big group of people that had gathered by the fire, and he looked at me strangely.

"What do you mean?"

"I…I can't describe it really. I mean…I know this sounds strange, but…the way Brady just looked at her, it was like…like Lexi…hit him over the head with a frying pan, and he liked it—like…really liked it."

Seth gave me a blank stare.

I peered around his tall frame, spotting Brady across the fire, still giving my friend the dopiest look I had ever seen.

"See? Do you see that? How he's looking at her? It's like he's…"

"Like he's what?" Seth questioned, whipping his head back around to look at me. I stopped, trying to pick my words. I knew something was up.

"Like he's…in a trance or something. Embry looked the same way when he met Sydney at the bowling alley that night. Like they have these dippy looks on their faces—they look drunk."

Seth glanced at Brady again, shrugging. "I don't know…I just think maybe he likes her."

I gaped at Brady, still standing in the same place. He was trying to be a bit stealthier now by shoving his hands in his pockets and poking at the fire with a stick. He couldn't fool me; ever few seconds he would look up and stare at Lexi like she had suddenly become the earth, and he was a moon circling around her every turn.

"He…"

My mind fought to remember the night several weeks ago when Seth had taken me bowling with Quil and Claire. Claire had invited Sydney, and we had been having a perfectly normal evening until Embry showed up.

"Call!" Seth hooted from beside me. I jumped at how loud his voice was, giggling with Claire. We all looked over to where Embry was walking into the bowling alley. I didn't know Embry as well as I knew Quil, but I had hung out with him more times than the rest of Seth's friends. As he made his way through, girls of all shapes, sizes, and age groups stared at him. He, like all of the other Quileute boys, was also tall, lean, tan, and muscular—in other words, they were all pretty much estrogen magnets. I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts and reached forward towards the plate of nachos in the center of the table. My hand collided with Seth's, and he grinned.

"You're going for that cheesy one with the jalapeno, aren't you?" he laughed. I nodded, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You want it?"

"It's yours," he replied sweetly, giving me a cocky nod. I laughed, swiping up the chip.

"Mmm, it tastes so much better when you know someone else wants it," I teased him, and he chuckled before poking me in the side. I burst into giggles, shaking my head at him.

"Sup guys? Hey, Regan…hey, Claire," Embry greeted us politely. He grabbed a nearby chair, lithely swinging his leg over the back of it to straddle it backwards. I shook my head. Only a guy like that could make such a thing look cool.

We were out for the night in Port Angeles, enjoying some bowling at an entertainment complex. It was really an arcade, a bowling alley, and two movie theatres, but we would take whatever we could get. Claire had been helping her friend, Sydney, clean out her grandmother's house who had just died. She was hoping to cheer her friend up by inviting her out with the four of us. I really liked Sydney; she was older, a college student from Seattle. She was a beautiful girl from the Makah reservation up the road from La Push, and she and Claire had been friends for years.

"Did Sydney know where the bathroom was? I feel bad for just sending her off on her own," I whispered to Claire. She nodded, looking over at Embry who was stealing nachos and listening to Seth chatter away.

Claire suddenly hauled off and punched him in the shoulder. "You didn't even come inside today to say hello!"

He put an arm around Claire and squeezed her, ruffling her dark hair.

"You mess up my hair, I mess up yours," she threatened, holding up her hand. Embry flinched and moved away.

"I had all day off of school; you guys should have hung out," she whined, plopping down on Quil's lap. His eyes widened without her realizing it, and he froze.

"What were you doing at that house today anyway? I thought your grandma lived next door."

"She does," Claire explained. "But my friend Sydney's grandma lived next door, and she died. I was helping her sort through her grandma's stuff before the estate sale."

"Oh, alright. Well, sorry I didn't come inside to hang out. I was tryin' to avoid stuffy, little, old lady houses."

She hauled off and punched him in the arm again, still perched on Quil's lap. He looked quite uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him; it was the first time I had ever seen Claire do something that forward to him…and he definitely noticed.

"Hey, Claire, bowl for me? I wanna eat these nachos before they get cold," Seth offered, eyeing Quil. He still sat frozen; his hands nervously twitching on the back of the booth. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Sure! I bet I can improve your sorry score," she said, jumping up. Quil finally exhaled and shot Seth an appreciative glance. Embry plopped down on the bench next to Quil and Seth, careful to keep his voice low so that he thought I couldn't hear—but I could—I pretended to cheer Claire on while I half-listened to their conversation.

"So! How's operation 'Woo your jailbait' going tonight boys?" he chuckled under his breath.

Seth took his heavy shoe and jammed his foot down on top of Embry's, and Quil's hand came up and smacked him on the back of the head so fast that he didn't know what hit him. I had to stifle my giggles and pretend to watch Claire attempt to bowl.

"Go help her pick a ball," Quil urged me, giving me a pleading look. I frowned, still trying to process Embry's comment. 'Woo your jailbait?'

By the time Claire and I made it back to the table, our game was over. We had gotten completely beaten by Quil and Seth, but no one seemed to care as we sat down to finish off the nachos and Cokes.

"Why are there five cups on the table?" Embry asked. "You guys thought I was going to the bar."

Seth shook his head. "We didn't get you a cup so that you could share our pitcher of Cokes with us," he said with an eye roll. "The other cup is for Sydney."

"Who the hell is Sydney?" Embry asked.

The words weren't even out of his mouth when I spotted Sydney walking up behind him. Her long, silky, black hair flowed out behind her, and her almond shaped eyes instantly scowled.

"Uh, I am?" she answered, her voice somewhat sharp. Embry's head whipped up to look at her so fast I thought it might snap. She glanced at him oddly as she walked around his chair and sat back down beside Claire. Picking up her Coke, she sipped it as Embry stared at her.

"Did you find the bathroom?" Claire asked her. She nodded, looking back at Embry. He was staring at her so deeply that he looked like he was in a fog, and she was the sun. I looked at Sydney, who was staring right back at him. However, her face was confused, and I could clearly see why. Embry looked like he was locked in some sort of love-drunk trance.

I watched as Seth nudged Quil, and they both watched their friend as he stared at Sydney. She gave him another weirded out look but said nothing as Claire chattered away beside her. Sydney was definitely freaked; I could see it in her eyes—not that I blamed her. He was staring at her; his jaw slackened, and his eyes wide like he had just seen a ghost…but a good ghost.

She met his gaze, nervously tucking a strand of her hair behind her ears as she watched him watch her.

Finally, I saw Seth give him a kick under the table. Embry jumped, blinking a few times as if he had been awakened. He looked away a few times, but each time his eyes were drawn back to her.

"What is he staring at?" she asked calmly, raising one dark brown eyebrow at him. He blinked again, a grin appearing on his features. I had never seen Embry act so…goofy.

"That's, uh…Embry. He's special," Seth laughed, looking over at her.

"I'm, uh…Embry," he finally said, reaching forward to touch her hand to his. She looked at it strangely and then reached hers out to shake.

"Sydney," she said softly, shaking his hand.

"Sydney," he repeated happily, shaking her hand. He blinked in shock when she pulled her hand away from his, giving him an awkward smile. She took a swig from the cup of Coke in front of her, looking nervously at Claire. Sydney noticed it and so had I—something weird had just happened, but she & I didn't know what.

And it had just happened again. I looked back at the fire, and then to Brady. There he was, still gazing across the flames at Lexi with the same goofy expression on his features.

"Seth…just look at him. That's not normal."

"Regan, I think he just likes her. No big deal…just—I don't know. Do you want to roast some marshmallows?

I looked up at him, prying my eyes from Brady. Seth coughed uncomfortably, shaking his head at me. He was clearly uncomfortable with what I had noticed—but why?

I was determined to find out.

After roasting a few marshmallows with Seth, Lexi, and Claire, us girls settled down by the fire to listen to one of the tribe's elders tell a few of the legends of the Quileutes. I knew Seth, Leah, and Sue were all proud of their heritage, so I was excited to listen to some legends and tales about their ancestors. Some stories were funny, some had lessons…and then there was one that I'll never forget.

Seth stood across the fire with Embry for most of the stories. I think he was giving his friend some support during his difficult time without Sydney. I don't even think he was paying attention to the first few tales the elder told. Then, when the story about the Quileutes began that talked about wolves, his gaze shifted to me. I smiled and looked away, turning my attention back to the story. The tale explained how wolves were the symbol of the tribe and how important they were to them and I couldn't help but think of the wolf Sue and I had seen on the road earlier in the week. I couldn't forget the way its human-like eyes had stared at me. In fact, I had seen the animal in my dreams all week; just standing on the road and gazing at me.

And then I looked up from the fire.

There across the fire, Seth stood staring at me. The voice of the old man telling the stories seemed to float through my ears, but all I could see was Seth. The rest of the world had completely faded away as I listened. A shiver rolled down my back as I felt something familiar in the way he looked at me.

You're being silly, I told myself. It can't be.

When I looked at him again, he was still staring at me. Was he trying to tell me something?


	31. Chapter 31

Seth

I stood leaning on the side of my Bronco as I watched the high school students flee from the building. Friday was in the air; they all had carefree looks on their faces as they made their way to the parking lot. It was the first week of May, and Regan was almost done with school for the summer. By the end of the month, she would be free.

I was glad she would soon have the summer off, but also wary too. It would be harder to protect my imprint if she wasn't in school all day, every day. We had caught the scent of an unfamiliar, nomadic vampire earlier in the spring, and we were all on high alert at the moment. Brady, being the ass that he was, had picked a fight with what might have been a passerby. The nomad appeared to have a shorter temper than Brady, and the two had been quite the sight to see. They would mess with each other, picking fights and chasing each other through the forest. We had all warned Brady that his temper would get him into trouble, but he had brushed us off at every turn. Sue had been driving home from somewhere with Regan when I had blocked their way in the road. I didn't want them coming anywhere near where we were patrolling for our reappearing 'friend', so I had stood in the road until my mom had the sense to turn around. The look on Regan's face had been priceless. I knew I would have to tell her about my being a wolf eventually; I just wasn't sure how to do it.

Needless to say, life had kept us all quite busy. The chilly, bleak spring days passed quickly as we hunted for our short-tempered vampire, and as Regan finished up the school year.

I instantly spotted Regan; her dark head of wavy hair bouncing as she practically skipped away from the school's front doors. She was walking with Claire and Lexi, chattering happily. It was the day before prom, and I knew she was excited. Regan broke off from the group, saying her goodbyes before walking over to where I stood. I was greeted with a huge smile and a blush. I loved it when she blushed.

"Don't lean on that thing…ugly is contagious, you know."

I laughed out loud as she playfully jabbed at my Bronco. I knew she thought my truck was hideous—all the more reason to keep it. Our hands brushed as I grabbed her heavy backpack from her, earning me a shy grin.

"No, see, I'm so pretty that I cancel out any ugly that I might catch from it."

She laughed, allowing me to help her up into the cab of the truck. She grabbed my hand and pushed herself up into the seat; it tingled again when our skin touched. I started the engine and pulled away from the curb, watching curiously as she waved goodbye to Claire and Lexi.

"How's Lexi doing?"

"Fine, why?"

I shrugged as I rolled up to the stop sign in front of the high school and waited for the kids to pass. "Brady still calling her?"

I only asked because I wanted to hear what Regan would say. Lexi was one of her best friends next to Claire, and I wanted to see what her reaction to my questioning would be. Ever since Brady imprinted on the girl at the bonfire almost six weeks ago, she had done nothing but ignore him completely. As much as I disliked Brady for the ass that he was, I couldn't but actually feel sorry for him. Without even knowing it, Lexi was making him pay for all of the shitty things he had done in the past—and boy was he ever! I had seen inside his mind during patrols, and he was completely miserable. Not only did Lexi not want to talk to him, but she acted like he was complete vapor. Whenever he would make up an excuse to be around her, she would act like he wasn't even there. As bad as I felt for Brady, I had to admire the girl for being so faithful to Regan and sticking to her guns.

"More like stalking her," Regan muttered, shaking her head. She sighed and looked out the window at the dark storm clouds above. "Do you think it will rain tomorrow?"

"For the prom? I would imagine so—sorry, Reg."

She shrugged, making a face. "I guess I should be used to it by now."

We were silent for a moment as she continued to curse under her breath about the rain. "So, is Lexi still thinking of going stag?"

"Yeah, she's braver than I am. I could never do that—go to a dance…alone," she shuddered to herself.

"Maybe she likes a challenge," I chuckled, waiting for the last of the kids to cross the street. I put my foot on the gas, the Bronco rumbling away from the school.

"She's so pretty though. Pretty girls can always get away with more stuff, I think. They can be like…gutsier. And Lex is gorgeous…don't you think?

"Sure," I murmured, not taking my eyes off Regan. I only looked away to make sure I didn't run some poor high school kid down. How could she even ask me that? I couldn't see other girls; I didn't want to.

"She's so tan—God I miss being tan."

"You're pretty just the way you are," I muttered again, turning onto the main drag towards home.

Regan laughed sweetly, peeling my hand off the steering wheel. "You think I'm pretty?"

I shifted nervously in my driver's seat, pretending to be nervous. Questions like this didn't really worry me anymore. Regan and I had a solid friendship now that I felt really good about. If she wanted to play, I would play.

"You're alright," I teased. She whopped me on the arm, wrinkling up her nose. I chuckled as we pulled into Charlie's driveway.

"You're gonna stay for dinner, right?"

"I can…" I said, opening the door. She hopped out, following me up the front steps. "But aren't Claire and Lexi coming over later, for like…girly stuff?"

"They are. But you've never complained before," she laughed. I nodded good-naturedly, grinning to myself. I wasn't picky; the girls knew I was a complete dork anyway, and I would take any time with my imprint that I could get. If she wanted to hang out with her friends and would allow me to tag along, I would…happily.

I was ecstatic that Regan was finally getting her life together and making friends—normal friends. Zeke had started school at Forks High after the New Year, and I was happy about that as well. I felt like I had my own personal watch dog up at Forks High.

"If either one of those girls steps a toe out of line…I want to know," I had told him.

"Claire isn't even your imprint!"

"No, but my temper is better than Quil's. If Claire does something wrong, believe me…you'll be happy for me to find out first and break the news to him."

"Uh, okay," Zeke shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"And vice versa. If anything is wrong with either one of the girls, I want to know that as well."

"Jeez, Seth, I'm going to high school, not babysitting!"

I had given him a stern warning look, and he had complied. Zeke was a good kid. My stomach turned a little as my mind flashed back to New Year's Eve when he had kissed Regan. They were friends; I knew that. Things had only been awkward between them for a few days as far as I could tell. When I patrolled with him, and he slipped and thought about that night, I could always feel him cringe. He hadn't wanted to kiss her; that had all been Emmett. I could see in Zeke's mind how sorry he truly was. He hadn't imprinted yet—that's if he ever would at all—and he felt horrible for what he had done to my imprint. I think he felt that looking out for Regan while she was at school was his way of saying sorry.

After dinner with Sue and Charlie, Regan and I made our way up to her room to wait for Claire and Lexi. She immediately flipped her iHome on, and I flopped down in her desk chair.

"What about that mix I made you?"

She gave me a sideways grin from where she stood in front of the dresser. "I'm getting to it, hold your horses," she laughed. The sounds of the playlist I had made for her soon filled the room, and she was bobbing her head along with the music as she searched through a jewelry box.

"What are you looking for?"

"Jewelry…for tomorrow. Claire said she would bring me some stuff, but…"

"Are you excited?" I asked nonchalantly. She nodded, giving me a half shrug. "Don't look to thrilled all at once now," I warned playfully. Regan gave me a tiny smile before returning to digging through the box.

"Come on now, its prom…why aren't you more pumped?"

She looked up, walking over to her bed. Sitting down, she pursed her lips and thought a moment. "I'm excited."

"Don't seem like it."

"No, I am. I just…I feel like Zeke only asked me…"

"What? Why do you think he asked you?" I asked, leaning forward. Does she know that I practically begged Zeke to ask her? I hoped not. Zeke was the only other person I trusted to take her. The wolf inside of me that was driven nearly insane with an overprotective nature knew that he would do anything to protect her should a coven of vampires attack the prom. You're out of your damn mind the sane part of me chuckled. But in all seriousness, I knew Zeke would show her a good time, keep his hands off of her, and have her home by midnight. Being ten years ahead of her…that was practically all I could do.

"I just feel like…he only asked me to be nice."

I chose my words carefully. "Is that so bad?"

She shook her head, picking at the ancient, purple comforter that decorated her bed. "No," she said quietly. "I just…" she trailed off, leaving a pregnant pause in the room.

"What?" I prodded. I knew I was being pushy, but I wanted to know what she really thought about Zeke asking her to the dance.

"It would be fun to go with someone…that I…like."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Don't you like Zeke?"

Her bright, green eyes flicked up to meet mine. "No," she admitted quietly. "Not like that."

There were a variety of questions I could have asked in that moment; however…I had to be careful. The word 'seventeen' repeated in my brain about a thousand times a minute. I struggled with myself—on one hand, I didn't see her like 'that' yet, but on the other hand, I didn't…not see her like 'that'—I was walking a fine line.

"Was there someone else you wanted to take?" I finally choked out. She stared at me, her eyes changing with something. Was it recognition?

"I…"

Suddenly, before she could speak, the door to her bedroom flew open.

"You will not believe what just happened to us!" Claire practically shouted, bursting through the door with Lexi in tow. My face must have looked utterly shocked, for even Claire gave me a weird look. Regan looked like a mixture of physically nauseous and relieved.

"What?" I asked flatly. Regan just looked at the floor.

"Brady just like…stalked us at the pharmacy just now! He is like…so in love with Lexi that it's sickening!" Claire fumed, plopping down on the bed next to Regan. Lexi rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"He still thinks I would want to go to my prom with him…what a delusional freak," she muttered, joining them on the bed. The three of them sat in a row on top of Regan's comforter, each one looking more annoyed and gloomy than the next.

"Do you want me to go?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.

They all looked at me like they wanted to kill me for speaking. I left them soon after for their girl bonding; I knew that the night before prom was no time to mess with a couple of teenaged, high school girls. If anything, I at least hoped Regan had a good time.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next night, I sat at the Cullen house alone. I had gone over to Sue and Charlie's house to see the gang all dressed up for the big dance…which had been a mistake. Something about seeing my imprint dressed up so unbelievably gorgeous for some other guy to take out didn't do much for my self esteem, seventeen-years-old or not. Even if I didn't want to do bad things with her yet, that didn't mean I couldn't still appreciate how completely striking she was in her prom dress. I had watched while Sue clicked picture after picture of Regan and her friends posing in the backyard during the brief seconds that the rain let up. I had gotten completely choked up when I got inside. There she was, all decked out and completely beautiful, and…none of it was for me. After watching her pull away from the house in Zeke's dad's car, I had promptly purchased a case of beer from the Piggly Wiggly and retreated to my dark house to drink it.

I stared out at the rain and gripped the can of cheap beer in my hand. I felt like I was going to melt into the couch if I didn't move soon. I faintly heard the sound of the aluminum can crunching in my hand as I glared out the windows into the backyard. The house was so quiet it felt like a tomb that night. And here I was, sitting in the dark like a damn bat, drinking my loneliness away like a drunk. As unlike me as it was, for the night I was content to sulk.

Cracking open another beer, I glanced at the clock. She should just be arriving at the lodge where the prom was being held. The Forks High prom was held at the same place every year; the tiny, pathetic excuse for a country club that Forks had to offer. It sat on top of a hill, overlooking the town and was the nicest place in the county that could hold that many people. I at least hoped it was pretty…for her.

Sighing to myself, I realized that I would have no idea what a prom was like. I hadn't gone to mine; my junior prom would have taken place shortly after the almost-Volturi war. I had bigger things on my mind at that point in my life.

Leaning forward, I raked my fingers through my hair. I felt like my skin was crawling; I wanted to be with her so much. Just to share one innocent dance with her in the sparkly, pink prom dress would have made me complete tonight.

If I could have one thing…I'd wish to be seventeen…just for one night.

But they didn't make fairy god mothers and glass slippers for werewolves. I needed to accept the fact that I was twenty-seven, and my imprint was still only seventeen.

I thought that would get easier…but it never did.

Standing up, I felt myself wobble slightly. Frowning, I looked down at the pyramid of beer cans that sat on the coffee table in front of me. Damn, an entire 30 pack. I had drunk it like water. Shaking it off, I opened the sliding glass door. With one movement, I hurdled over the railing and phased midair, destroying my clothes and landing on all four paws.

There, I thought. This feels much better.

Hey, Quil's voice greeted me.

What are you doing? You're not patrolling tonight, I asked, scanning his mind. Where are you?

Um…

Quil's mind was a silent buzz as he tried to look anywhere random – trees, ferns, the ground.

What the hell? Where are you, Quil?

Um…Tall Oaks Country Club, he muttered sheepishly in his mind.

Playing stalker tonight, are we? I thought sarcastically. He grumbled to himself and looked back at the scene in front of him. I could see through his mind's eye that he was in the bushes in the back lawn of the country club where the prom was being held, just watching. He was huddled down in a shrub, trying to look as small as he could while watching the party unfold through the back windows. A few couples were dancing in the gazebo out back, and I could sense his disappointment that none of them were Claire.

I just want to see her…he thought dramatically. I rolled my eyes at him but quickly launched myself in the same direction.

Joining me, are you?

Yes, I answered pathetically. I showed him a mental picture of what I had just been doing, and he chuckled.

Sorry, bro. It's not any better on my end either.

Am I an ass? Should I be happy for her? I asked as I ran. He thought a moment, mulling my question over in his mind for a few seconds.

No. I feel the same way. I know that doesn't make it right, but…I do understand, he reasoned with me. I made it up the hill where the country club was in less than ten minutes. I slunk up to sit beside him on the damp ground, out of view.

Is this depressing or what?

It's only depressing if we admit this happened to anyone, I offered. He agreed, and we settled back to watch. I couldn't see well, but the times I did happen to see Regan inside the windows, my heart would speed up inside my chest. She looked even prettier than before, because this time she was dancing with her friends and laughing. I was so happy to see her having a good time that my drunken-bad mood had practically lifted. That was until she came outside to the gazebo. I watched with raised hackles as Zeke politely took her in his arms and offered her a slow dance.

Watch it, pup, I thought with a growl.

"So, are you having fun?" Zeke asked as they swayed back and forth. Music played softly over the outdoor speakers, but I could still hear all of their conversation. Quil and I both waited with baited breath.

"Yes, Zeke, very much. Thanks for…sucking it up and just taking a friend," she laughed.

"You're fine. I had no problem just taking a friend. It's a lot easier that way, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. But…why didn't you ask, like…a real date? I mean…" she laughed nervously. "Someone you…like?"

He nodded, flashing her a knowing grin. "I don't know. I just haven't…met that girl yet. Ya know?"

I smiled, realizing he was saying (without actually saying it) that he was waiting for his imprint. My heart panged with an unwelcome familiarity for what Zeke was feeling at this point in his life – wondering if she's out there and he's missed her, or if she's right in front of his nose, or even born yet. I didn't miss that feeling, and it wasn't one that I would wish on anyone.

Regan paused a moment, her features going slack as if she was deep in thought. "Oh…um, I suppose not."

"You look like you were about to say something," he prodded. He must be aware that I was going to pump him for information later. That kid knew me all too well.

"I guess…I mean…"

"Did you have someone you wanted to have asked you?"

She laughed nervously again, shrugging as they swayed. "No, not really. I…"

He watched her, waiting for her answer. I swallowed nervously, practically holding my breath at that point.

"Oh, come on. Who do you really want to be dancing with right now? It's okay Regan, I swear," he grinned.

"It's so stupid. You would totally laugh," she insisted, shaking her head at herself. "The person—the last place he would want to be is at a high school prom."

Zeke slowed his swaying, staring down at my imprint with wide eyes. "Why would they not want to be here? Regan, you're one of my best friends. Anyone would want to be here with you. Why wouldn't you think that?"

"He, um…" I could hear her heart pounding in her chest from twenty yards away and over the sound of the music. She licked her lips nervously, avoiding his eye contact.

"He wouldn't be able to come," she murmured nervously. Zeke took the bait.

"Is he from back home? In Phoenix?"

Regan shook her head. "No…he…"

"He's from here, isn't he?"

She nodded, twisting her hands on his shoulders as they danced. I held my breath. Get her to say more! I silently urged him.

"I already know who he is, don't I?" he asked quietly. She averted her eyes, nodding. I watched as Regan bit her lip and avoided eye contact with him.

Oh. My. God, my mind screamed. And then I lost all ability to think coherently for a few seconds. Was she talking about me?

Of course she's talking about you, moron, Quil echoed. I felt my chest tighten as my jaw clenched down in pain. Self pity washed over me as I watched her sway from side to side with someone who was not me.

Easy, bro, Quil coached me. He was torn; I could feel that he wanted to leave me to my thoughts. After a few moments, he stood and quietly slunk away, giving me some space to wallow. He was going to try to see Claire from another spot in the bushes and leave me to myself.

I didn't care; I wanted to be alone for this. My insides twisted as I watched my imprint dance in the gazebo, looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her. I hoped Zeke kept her outside all night just for my own selfish enjoyment. She looked so pretty. It wasn't fair. On the night of my senior prom, I had been home schooled for two years already and I had patrols. I had killed a rogue vampire on the night that the rest of my former classmates had gone to the dance. Watching it burn and smelling the sickeningly sweet smell of the smoke had been my senior prom. For years, my life had been the stuff of fairytales and nightmares; vampires, werewolves, friends with gifts and magical powers. I lived in another universe that most people would only read about in books. And yet…I longed for normalcy. In that moment, all I wanted to be was a normal, seventeen-year-old boy who could dance the night away with his beautiful girlfriend at the prom. I wanted to see her in her pretty, pink dress, give her some flowers, and spend every last dime I had so that I could rent a limo and a tux.

I wanted more than anything to be human. For her.

I continued to watch the rest of prom from the bushes in a self pitying cocoon. Zeke kept his hands to himself, and I felt better when I realized I had nothing to worry about—at least when it came to him. After a few minutes, Claire and Lexi came outside to join them in the gazebo as the rain had let up. The night was looking somewhat clear as far as the weather, and I was happy for Regan. I just wanted her to enjoy her prom. In a way, I was glad; it was one more thing she wouldn't miss out on just because she was my imprint, and I was so much older.

"Punch?" Lexi offered, handing Regan a glass. She accepted as Claire walked up the gazebo steps, playfully slugging Zeke on the shoulder.

"I feel like you're our pimp or something. Coming to the prom with all these ladies," she giggled. I watched as she leaned on the gazebo banister, looking out into the woods wistfully. She must have had a feeling Quil was somewhere watching.

"I feel like it. The guys are gonna be so jealous when they see all the pictures of me with three, hot dates up on Facebook."

"We're not having an orgy or anything, don't get too excited," Claire laughed. "We're just here with you as pity dates."

"I like to pretend you and Lexi are here together. Can I be in the middle of that sandwich?" Zeke laughed. Both girls slugged him on the shoulder as Regan rolled her eyes.

"Men are sick," Claire laughed, shaking her head at him. He smiled like a jackass and held up his hands.

"Are you sad you didn't bring a date?" Regan asked Lexi. I smiled to myself, knowing Brady was probably at home sulking over his imprint and her determined nature. She had done nothing but give Brady hell for the last six weeks, and he wasn't exactly handling it gracefully.

"Who would I bring?" Lexi insisted.

"Um…half the male population in Forks?" Zeke suggested. Lexi rolled her eyes.

"I think not. I didn't want to go with just anyone."

"Lex, if you wanted to bring Brady, I would have been totally fine with it. I could care less," Regan offered. I could tell she was trying to be nice to her friend, but I wasn't buying it. I knew my imprint didn't want to touch Brady again with a ten foot pole, much less have him at her prom.

"No, ulgh!" Lexi choked. "That guy is an asshole. The last thing I want is to have him be my prom date."

"Ooo-kay…" Regan laughed, giving Claire a knowing look.

Zeke laughed loudly. "Brady's a moody, little bitch, Lexi. You should throw the guy a bone and at least talk to him," he added, sipping his punch. Claire gave him a shove and rolled her eyes at him again.

I sighed as Zeke poked fun at our short-tempered friend. True, Brady was an ass. As I mentioned, he had done nothing but provoke the vampire we were still hunting for, making him more and more angry each time he appeared near our land. We all knew Brady was upset that Lexi wasn't accepting him into her life; however, he was making the situation quite dangerous for everyone. He was simply too pig-headed to realize it.

"Ulgh, gross. He's done nothing but stalk me since we met. Talk about weird. I mean, he just randomly shows up wherever I go. He follows me around like a lost puppy. Lame," she sniffed. Zeke chuckled to himself, looking away.

"Well then you're really about to freak out…" Claire muttered; her facial expression purely stunned. I lifted my head up, looking to where she was now pointing. In the doorway that led outside from the dance floor stood Brady. In a tux. Staring at Lexi.

Shit, I thought. Quil echoed my exact sentiment as he came trotting back over to me.

What the hell is he doing? Did he really just crash the prom? What a moron! She's going to eat him up and spit him out, Quil thought with a chuckle. I stood up, watching as he walked up to the gazebo where the four of them still stood.

"What are you doing here?" Lexi stuttered; her eyes wide as she watched him approach her. He clenched his jaw nervously, his eyes shifting around to the rest of her friends as they gaped at him.

"I, um…thought you might need a date to the prom."

Lexi gaped at him. "What part of me calling you 'a complete psycho stalker' did you not get? Was I not clear enough in that assessment?"

Brady set his jaw defiantly, running a hand through his spiky, black hair. He handed her the white rose he held, and she took it with a stunned expression.

"I heard you were going stag; thought maybe you'd change your mind if I showed up."

"You're insane," she spat, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulders. He looked away, obviously not surprised. This must not have been the first time she had accused him of such a thing.

"Look, just give me a chance, Lexi. I…argh!" he fumed, his face turning slightly red. I watched carefully to see if he was showing any signs of phasing. The last thing we needed was for a wolf to phase at the prom.

What do we do? I thought to Quil. He turned his brown head, looking at me.

What can we do? Watch, I guess, he replied.

Lexi brushed past Brady and strode back inside. Regan, Zeke, and Claire all ran after her, and I could no longer see what was going on.

Shit, I thought. He better not do anything stupid.

It's Brady. I can practically guarantee that he will, Quil thought flatly. We watched and waited in the bushes, trying to see what was going to happen.

What did that dumbass do now? Is Lexi going to say yes?

I groaned inwardly as two, familiar voices popped into my head. The twins, Astin and Aaden, had phased and were out on patrol outside of La Push. I shook my head, trying to tune them out.

Just shut up and watch. Be quiet, Quil snapped. Just focus on patrols.

Sheesh! Okay, okay…grumpy, old man, Astin chuckled. He and his twin brother, Aaden, split up, each one running the perimeter of our patrolling area. The two goofballs began their patrol as Quil and I watched for more signs of what was going on inside the prom.

What should we do? He's been in there awhile. I should've known that stupid ass was going to do something like this…I thought.

Calm down. Maybe…maybe Lexi forgave him, Quil laughed. We were both silent as Brady came flying out of the back doors of the country club, his face so purple with rage that he looked like a beet. His hands trembled and shook as he made his way outside, visibly pissed as hell.

"Brady!" Zeke ran out after him. "Brady, stop! Shit…"

"I'm done, Zeke! I'm done. I'm so finished with her, it's not even funny. Fuck that!" Brady spat as he stormed into the woods. I trotted over to where he stood, now safe in the cover of the trees. His hands shook as he tried to yank off his tie and jacket. Bits and pieces of his tux fell to the ground as he yanked it off, piece by piece. By the time he got halfway undressed he was so pissed that he just grunted and burst into wolf form. I watched as bits of fabric from his pants fluttered to the damp forest floor.

He watched me, blinking his eyes as he fumed in wolf form. Go ahead, say it, he challenged me. You're glad I finally got what I deserved.

I stared at him, unfeeling. I knew I should hate him, but I was nearly paralyzed by the amount of pain that was positively radiating through him at the moment from being rejected, yet again, by his imprint.

Let's go deeper into the woods. It's not safe here, I finally said. Quil followed, and the three of us trotted further back into the protective cover of the trees.

You need to give her space, Brady, Quil offered.

Can it? Brady snickered. If I wanted advice from you, I'd ask, he snapped, baring his teeth at Quil. Quil shook his head and pushed past him, not in the mood to fight—none of us really were—I think we were content to all sulk together. Not one of us was where we wanted to be right now, and there was not a damn thing we could do about it.

Suddenly a panicked voice cut through our thoughts.

Uh, guys? We have a problem…

What now? Brady growled. We all stood still as we searched Astin's panicky mind as he raced through the forest. He had the scent of a vampire; there was no doubt about it. He could smell it and see flashes of it, but couldn't seem to catch it. We watched as his brother, Aaden, ran up on his flank to help. Both brothers paused beside a stream, sniffing the ground in question.

Where the hell did he go? Did you see that?

Yeah…kinda…it was like he disappeared. What the…?

I scanned their confused minds and took off running. Quil and Brady followed, pleasantly distracted by the hunt. A good chase was what we needed to take our minds off of things. In less than twenty minutes, we had reached where the twins were still searching the woods.

What happened? What did you guys do…lose the vamp? Quil asked. I pressed my nose to the ground, searching. We were out in the middle of nowhere, miles away from the prom so I wasn't too concerned yet…but I wanted to find whatever we were smelling. If it was a threat, I wanted to know about it.

Ditto, Quil thought. We followed the scent as it ran closer and closer to the area around my house. Now, I was surprised that any nomadic vampire would venture anywhere near my house.

You've pissed on every tree in a five mile radius, Quil scoffed as we chased the scent. No vampire would come near that, unless he had a death wish.

What is going on? Why can't we find this fucker and just kill it? Brady growled to himself. He sniffed at the trees around him as we ran through the forest, growing more frustrated with each passing second. We had all but given up. We could still find the scent, but the vampire was nowhere to be seen. It had run in circles around my house, and we had no idea why.

The five of us phased back into human form in the woods behind the Cullen house. "Maybe Embry and Collin will have better luck," I offered as I pulled on my shorts. I tossed Brady an extra pair of sweats that I had stashed in the ferns for emergencies, and he pulled them on with a grunt. "I don't get it. We should have caught whoever that was."

"It was a scent I didn't recognize…I don't think," Quil mused, still frowning. "That was just weird. I've already…" he trailed off as I continued to think about the scent.

"Forgotten it?" I asked. He nodded, and we exchanged a confused look. Normally the scents of vampires hung in our minds for days afterward. But this one…I couldn't recall just what the scent was that we had been chasing.

"Something is weird here," I said, looking around the dark woods. Brady and the twins looked around as well, peering into the darkness. We saw nothing, until a white flash of movement made us all look up.

There, in the trees, was a vampire. He was huge – tall and muscular, and as white as snow. Out from under his mop of curly, blonde hair was a pair of surprisingly amber colored eyes.

"What the…?" Quil gasped, his mouth falling open.

We crowded around the base of the tree, our eyes wide with surprise.

"Get down here and fight," Brady snarled, already pulling off his pants. The vampire watched with bewildered eyes as Brady exploded into wolf form, already growling and baring his teeth. I couldn't believe his rage. He wasn't the vampire we had been hunting, so I didn't understand why he was so full of fury. True, he was still our enemy, but I was willing to at least hear him out.

"Brady! Stop!" I yelled, walking over to the base of the tree. The vampire with the strange eyes looked down at me, obviously as stunned as we were.

"Who are you?" I asked. Brady growled, and I gave him a dirty look. "Enough," I growled. "What's your name?"

The vampire gaped at us again for a few moments before opening up his mouth. "You're humans?"

I nodded. "Sort of. What do you want?"

"Where are the Cullens?" he asked finally. I looked at the house.

"That's where they used to live. Why are you looking for them?" I called up the tree. He blinked a few times, as if debating whether or not to answer me.

"I want to find them. I need help," he admitted finally. "Can you come down? We won't attack, we just want to talk," I offered. He looked at me skeptically. "I'm friends with the Cullens. That's why their house smells like dog—it's me. I live there now while they're away. If you come down and talk, I'll tell you where you can find Carlisle and the rest of the family."

"Carlisle?" His eyes lit up with recognition. I nodded, and he jumped down. Looking around nervously, he laid eyes on Brady.

Brady began to growl and snarl, and the vampire looked fearful. Suddenly, Brady stopped. He looked around, his wolf eyes wide. Nose to the ground, he began sniffing around in a confused manner.

"What's his deal?" Quil asked, jumping out of the way as Brady tromped past him. The vampire smiled as I looked over at him.

"He can't find you…can he?"

He shook his head at me, smiling. I watched Brady continue to pace in the small clearing where we stood, his nose and eyes looking anywhere but where the nomad actually stood.

"We won't hurt you if you don't attack us. It won't be a pretty fight," Quil warned. The vampire nodded, looking over at me with his orange-ish eyes.

"I'm Fred," he said finally. We looked at him skeptically, watching Brady as he still searched for the vampire that was right in front of him.

"Well Fred…I'm no stranger to vamps. I'm guessing you have a little talent that you're using on Brady?"

He nodded. "I can make things feel disgusted and confused around me…kind of like an invisibility cloak. I guess as far as he knows…I'm not here."

I laughed, making Brady look up at me. He growled in the direction of where Fred stood, but didn't move.

"Fred…come inside my house, I can help you find the Cullens. Why are you looking for them?"

He smiled. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked, pointing to his orange-ish eyes. "I want to be a vegetarian."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	32. Chapter 32

Seth

I sighed, putting my pen down. Taking a sip of coffee without thinking, I made a face as the too-cold liquid slid down my throat.

"Need a refill?" Charlie's voice cut into my thoughts. I shrugged, leaning back in my squeaky chair. I knew the noise annoyed him, but on a day like today, I didn't care.

He made his 'I'm not amused' face before standing up and going for the coffee pot in the break room. I took the opportunity to gaze out the tiny window above my desk at the police station. I was annoyed with the rain, which was rare. I knew that Regan wanted to go to the beach at least one more time before summer was over, and she deserved to.

After the prom, I had made a genuine struggle to forget what she had said about me wanting to be there with her. I wasn't allowed to feel those types of feelings for her yet, and I was determined to not overstep my bounds. I didn't want to be the creepy old man lusting after someone who was barely legal. I wanted to feel normal, not like some sicko. I wanted my imprint to have a normal life as a teenager, so being interested in an old man was not in her best interests—at least in my book.

"Big night on the town planned?"

I looked up as Charlie refilled my coffee cup. Only cops could drink coffee all day. I shook my head. "Nah, just grabbing a beer with Embry. He's having woman troubles, so I get to listen to him whine," I laughed. Charlie nodded, sitting down at his own desk.

"I'm sure you do your fair share of whining as well," he joked sternly, resuming his paperwork for the day. I snorted.

"About who?"

He looked up, clearly surprised. "Well…er…come to think of it…never mind."

"What?" I prodded.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, frowning at me as he pursed his lips. "Your love life—or lack thereof—is not something I want to spend my work day gabbing about."

I chuckled, leaning back in my seat. "You're the one who brought it up, pal," I said, shaking my head at him.

"Forget I said anything," he muttered. I turned around, still chuckling. Even though he had made me laugh with his musings about my dating life, he did make me think. I was starting to look undoubtedly weird. I was a guy in my late twenties, and I hadn't had a date in over a year. I had more than enough time on my hands, and I was surely starting to raise some eyebrows. Charlie's musings bothered me for the rest of the day.

After work, I walked into the small bar on the outskirts of town where Embry said he wanted to meet. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the bar. I finally spotted Embry, hunkered down in the corner. A smile appeared on my face as I spotted the glass full of ice and whiskey in front of him.

"Drinking for real tonight, eh?"

He looked up, sadness evident on his features. His eyes were dark and faded, complete with dark circles under his eyes. "Let's get drunk," he stated, lifting the glass to his lips.

"Alrighty," I agreed. I signaled the bartender, and within a few minutes, we both had fresh glasses of Gentleman Jack on the rocks placed in front of us. I sipped the strong, oaky liquid and waited for him to talk.

"Fuck my life," he growled, slumping further over onto the bar. I waited patiently for him to say more. Embry had imprinted earlier this spring on a girl that was originally from Makah, just like Emily. Sydney was a striking girl; we all thought she could be a model. More than once, I had inadvertently seen her through Embry's thoughts, and she was definitely completely gorgeous. However, his imprint had given him nothing but trouble.

"Harsh," I said, taking another sip. He gave me a low growl and a snarky look as he downed the rest of his drink. "So I take it Sydney is back with her boyfriend?"

He shrugged miserably. "I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to her in a week."

I made a face. "But things were going so well earlier. You were up in Seattle for like a week earlier this summer. I'm guessing she wasn't dating him then?"

Embry motioned for another drink. "Yeah, well…that was then, this is now."

"Just last weekend you were patrolling with me, and I couldn't escape a mental image of you and your minx plastered up against the windows of her apartment, bumping uglies. And now you're knee deep in whiskey? Explain that to me."

He lowered his head, swirling ice in his empty glass with his straw. "It's complicated."

I sighed, taking another long swig of my drink. "How complicated can it be? You're both at least consenting adults."

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "Troubles on the terrible teen front?"

Chuckling, I shook my head. "Just a bit frustrated. People are…starting to notice that I'm not putting myself out there. Dating. I dunno…"

He nodded. "Yeah, why don't you date?"

I shifted in my seat, clearing my throat. "Why would I? I have the girl of my dreams. I just…have to wait awhile for her."

"But still…how can you stand it? Being alone all the time? Sydney is gone now and….it's just too quiet."

"Was she ever really here?" I asked. "Hasn't she only been to La Push a few times?"

He shook his head at me. "I got a taste of what things could be like…and…"he trailed off, shrugging. "It doesn't matter I guess, for me at least. But you…you could at least have some fun while you wait it out."

"What are you talking about?"

Embry chuckled, happily accepting his new drink from the bartender. His eyes flicked up to the two women who walked through the doors. They were obviously from out of town; their expensive looking clothes weren't suited for the rain, nor was were their frizzing hair. The bar was almost empty on that late summer night and every eye was instantly on them—well, every eye but ours.

"I don't get why you just sit around and wait. I dated. Who cares? I technically still should be dating on account of my imprint wants nothing to fucking do with me."

"You couldn't possibly know that," I reasoned with him. He shrugged again.

"All I know is…I put myself out there for her, and she's not here beside me. Do you need to know more?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I guess not." I took another long swig as he watched me.

"You seem…high strung."

"I'm a little…anxious. Regan will be eighteen in a month and a half, and…I dunno, it's just… a little nerve wracking."

"You might be worrying for nothing. She might turn eighteen and nothing happens for awhile."

"I'm planning on that. An eighteen-year-old and a twenty-eight-year-old isn't exactly…a welcomed relationship."

"You're only twenty-seven."

"I'm weeks away. Whatever…the point is, I might be holding my breath for nothing. She might not…even want me."

"Liar," he said in a low voice before taking another sip of his drink. I rolled my eyes and fiddled with my stirring straw.

"Well it's true. She might want nothing to do with me for years—if ever."

"You're overreacting."

"So are you," I said to him. He sighed and took another drink. Embry was getting drunk, and I was going to join him.

"My point is…why don't you just go out and get some sex? At least it would make you…less jumpy," he mused.

"Why? I'm fine."

"Dude, I've patrolled with you. You're wound tighter than a spool of twine. Just— God, at least make a date with your hand or something. Between you, Quil, and Brady…I'm about to go nuts."

I chuckled, downing the rest of my whiskey. I was poured another, and I happily started in on it.

"I'm just in a weird place….have been for awhile. I just can't…..see women the way I used to. I mean, I can see them of course but I just don't….care, I guess."

"I know the feeling. But wouldn't it be nice to just…have some no-strings attached nooky?"

We both laughed, and I agreed with him. We ended up sitting there and drinking for several hours, both of us taking in more liquor than I'm pretty sure that bartender had ever sold. The two women sauntered over, handing us their business cards and cell phone numbers before the night was over.

They were both cute and nice and just in town for the weekend….but I just couldn't make myself care. As I was listening to what the redhead did for a living, I caught myself wondering if Regan had any homework this weekend and if she would want to go to the beach. I couldn't make myself care about another woman, and I didn't want to.

"I'm just saying…go get some sex, Clearwater," he slurred as we walked out of the bar. I shrugged, jamming my hands in my pockets. The business card of the pretty redhead burned in my pocket. She was nice but not my type. But still, she had made her intentions pretty clear over the one drink we had shared with them. She wanted a harmless lay, and she had selected me to do it if I was 'around' this weekend in more or less words. Of course she didn't say it, but any male could tell that's what she wanted. If I was a normal guy, then…maybe I would have given in. I could read between the lines. But did I even want to? I was more than sexually frustrated, but was I willing to cheat on the idea of my imprint?

I wasn't sure. I went home that night, still feeling buzzed and lightheaded from all the beer and whiskeys we had downed. Was Embry right? Did I need to just go out on a date with a girl my age and have some harmless sex? Would that help me or just make my situation worse?

By the time I got home my alcohol buzz was slowly starting to fade. Determined to at least ride out the rest of my drunkenness, I went straight for the liquor cabinet in the dining room. After pouring myself a few rather large shots of whiskey and guzzling it down, I grabbed a few cans of beer from the fridge and went to my bedroom. Opening the door, I stepped into the tiled room that had served as Carlisle and Esme's shower. It was bigger than most people's entire bathroom and completely kickass.

Too bad you have no one to share it with, I thought to myself in my drunken stupor. I made the water scorching hot before stepping in with my beers in hand. The alcohol rushed to my head, making my head spin delightfully. I downed one of the icy cold beers quickly as I let my body be covered in the steam and hot water.

Okay…dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts…I sighed, trying to get my sexual mojo going. It felt like trying to start a dead chainsaw with no results. Rolling my eyes at myself, I downed another beer. Usually alcohol made things easier for me, not the opposite.

I tried thinking of centerfolds, I tried thinking of the countless things I had seen over the years in the heads of my pack brothers, and I tried thinking of all the girls I had crushes on in high school. I thought of celebrities, hot movies, and virtually every fantasy I had ever had.

Wincing, I looked down at Little Seth. Nothing. In fact, I think I was softer than I had ever been. Shit. Downing my last beer, I turned off the shower in utter defeat. I felt like a failure. That had never happened to me; usually I could at least rub one out in the shower while I had a decent buzz going. Defeated, I fell onto my king sized bed. Turning my damp head on the pillow, I drunkenly pictured Regan's face lying beside me.

In my haze, I reached out to touch her face, trying my best to imagine how the skin of her cheek would feel under my fingertips. How her hair would feel as I ran my fingers through it. How her body would feel up against mine.

But I couldn't. It didn't feel right to think about her that way. I almost couldn't. It just felt wrong to put my underage imprint in that light, whether I wanted to or not. Would I ever be able to think of her that way? When would things finally change for us? As her eighteenth birthday loomed just a little while away, would things start to change for us?

Those were the last thoughts I had before falling asleep.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I awoke later that night to a pounding on my front door. Sitting up, I realized I was no longer drunk, and it was still dark out. So much for riding out that buzz, I thought with a grimace. The pounding increased as I made my way down the steps of the Cullen house, rubbing my eyes. What time was it? It had to be extremely late.

Glancing out the glass windows beside the door, my eyes widened as I realized it was Regan…standing at my door, in the middle of the night. She motioned for me to open the door. Flinging it open, I gaped at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Her face instantly brightened as she floated into the house. "I had to come," she said quietly, walking up to me.

I blinked several times as I closed the door behind her. Regan stepped closer to me, grabbing my forearms in her chilly hands.

"You're so warm," she said softly, looking up at me. She blinked her jewel-like, green eyes, flashing me a smile. Her hair was down, hanging in soft curls around her face. Was her hair…longer? I tried to look at it as nonchalantly as I could as she gazed up at me with a smile on her face. As her soft hands caressed me, I realized I was half naked, standing in the entryway in my boxers.

"What are you doing here, Regs? It's late. Sue and Charlie have to be worried…"

"No," she said, reaching up to cover my mouth. "I snuck out. It doesn't matter anyway, Seth, just…just let's get inside."

"What?"

Regan darted up the steps, and I quickly followed her more confused than ever. What on earth was she doing at my house in the middle of the night? My mind swirled with the possibilities of everything that could be wrong, but she didn't seem upset. She seemed…different.

When we go to the living room, she turned to face me. "Regan, what's wrong?" I asked. She looked out the glass windows that overlooked the backyard, her face serious but content. What was going on?

"Seth, I can't take this anymore. I just want to be with you. I'm tired of playing games," she finally said, walking towards me. I tensed, suddenly feeling like I should be uncomfortable, but I wasn't. In fact, seeing her walking towards me made me…excited. Nervous. Giddy. Alive. Every sense in my body was at full alert as she stopped in front of me. Her hands went up to her coat, unbuttoning it slowly. Her movements were tantalizingly slow as she removed it. It fell to the floor, leaving her in a tight, black tank top and the tiniest shorts I had ever seen in my life. I sucked in a breath.

"Regan…what—"

Her hand flew up to my mouth again. "No, Seth…just…shhhh," she urged, her voice fading to a whisper. Smirking at me playfully, she pushed me back onto the white couch with one little shove of her hand. I sat there, my mouth falling open as I gaped at her. How was this happening?

"Don't speak," she said, slowly sitting on my lap, straddling me. I swallowed hard as I felt myself start to harden. "Just kiss me."

She leaned closer and closer, and I watched as her eyes drifted shut. The last thing I saw was her eyelashes caressing her cheeks as she pressed her lips to mine.

Heaven.

Oh sweet heaven.

I sat there stunned for what felt like eons as she pressed her soft lips to my top lip, and then moved down to my bottom lip. And then she sucked on it. My hands clamped themselves to her thighs as my heart began to slam against my chest. Every thought in my brain was screaming STOP!…I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Kissing someone had never felt so glorious, so wonderful, and so right.

"Seth," she whispered, breaking away from me. "Please kiss me back. I'm out on a limb here and…" she trailed off, dipping her head down in shame. "Please tell me you feel the same way. I've been dying to do that for…forever," she admitted.

My eyes widened. Regan looked up at me, her cheeks turning pink in the darkness. I felt my hands tighten on her thighs as I debated what to do. She was young—too young. I should be in jail. I should be in jail for a long time. But I couldn't help it.

"I don't think I could not kiss you, Regan," I stuttered before reaching up to cup her cheeks. I pulled her down to me and let her lips crash into mine without any reservations. I was once again engulfed in heaven as her lips moved in perfect synch with mine. Her hands roamed down my neck, caressing me with every inch. Goosebumps rose up on my skin as she began to instinctively move her hips against my hardening arousal. Regan ground herself against me, the first moan slipping from her lips. I groaned along with her, my tongue parting her soft lips to discover each other. We shared deep kisses as our tongues met and explored.

"Seth…" she whispered between kisses, holding my face between her hands.

"What?"

"I need you," she whispered quietly, kissing me sweetly again. "I've waited long enough for you. I need you…now."

Her hips once again ground into my aching hardness, driving me mad with desire. My hands roamed over her body, and I was shocked at how womanly she felt under my hands. Regan no longer looked like a teenager to me, and she sure as hell didn't feel like one. She began kissing expertly down my jawbone, taking her time down to my neck. I threw my head back onto the cushions behind it as I gripped her hips and helped her grind against me.

"You feel so…good," I managed to choke out as I opened my eyes. Regan paused her kisses to straighten up and smile down at me.

"That's because I was made for you, Seth," she whispered before placing the sweetest kiss on my mouth. Her tongue caressed mine; our kisses growing deeper as she continued to move herself against me on the couch.

"Regan…oh god…I'm gonna— oh…shit! I…"

My eyes flew open. I was greeted by the early morning light streaming into the curtains I had left open, and the worst case of blue balls I had in my entire existence. I sat up quickly, groaning and holding my pounding head. When I tried to stand, I groaned again and the pain radiating through the lower half of my body.

It was a dream.

Great, I thought. What a way to start the morning. I stumbled away from the bed and into the shower with a clouded brain. What the hell had that dream been about? Glancing down as I started the shower, I winced. My dick was practically screaming at me for attention, and I felt harder than I had ever been…with thoughts of Regan. I was turned on with thoughts of Regan.

I shook my head and let the hot water try to clear my mind. What the hell had that been about? I had definitely just had the naughtiest dream ever about my imprint—my underage, too young for me imprint. What the hell?

I was weirded out, but that didn't stop me from helping myself out. I was in too much discomfort not to, and it actually felt good this morning. I tried to keep my thoughts away from Regan and all things illegal as I got myself off and hurried to get out of the shower.

Once I was done, I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and wandered into the kitchen for some food. The house was quiet this morning, but I was used to the quiet by now; I didn't want a lot of noise screwing with my head. I grabbed a frozen bag of hash browns and tossed it into a skillet, dousing it with some cooking oil. I toasted about six pieces of bread while I waited for that to heat up, slathering them with peanut butter—my favorite. While I waited for the coffee to brew and the potatoes to cook, I leaned on the counter and let myself finally think.

What was that dream about? Thinking of Regan that way was not good. She wasn't eighteen yet, and I didn't want to look at her that way yet. I didn't want to be pining after some underage girl like a sick pervert. I wanted to be her friend. I had been her support system for almost a year now, and I didn't want to fuck that up now. She needed me to be there for her and not lusting after her like some sicko.

I frowned as I chewed on my toast. Strangely, I realized that when I thought of her now…with a calm dick, a clear mind, and food in my stomach…I didn't think of her like…that. Shaking my head, I pictured my imprint in my mind and all I could see was my best friend.

I ran a shaky, albeit relieved hand through my hair. Good. I still could think of her like a friend and only a friend. My head throbbed slightly as I concentrated, testing myself. But…nothing. I couldn't think of her that way and I didn't want to. So what had that dream been about? Was something coming?

After breakfast, I took my coffee out on the back deck and sat. The sun was peeking through the late summer clouds as if it was debating whether or not to come out. Inhaling deeply, I tried to cleanse my mind. The dream was just that – a dream. I needed to stop freaking out about it. I wasn't usually one of those people who overanalyzed everything to death and thought it out—until I met Regan.

I glanced inside the windows and spied a small card on the coffee table. With my interest piqued, I ambled into the house and picked up the card.

"Oh…" I said to myself, turning it over in my hand. Was I about to make a huge mistake?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"I'm really glad you called me."

I swallowed, trying to smile like I meant it. "Well thanks for, um…coming out tonight," I replied, taking another swig of my water. Why was I so nervous? Was it because I hadn't been out on a date with a woman in over a year?

"I didn't think you would call, as a matter of fact."

"I'm kind of…shy," I admitted. "I'm getting over it."

She blushed, looking down at her plate of practically untouched salad. "Well, thank you for dinner. Gosh, I've never seen a guy that's in such great shape eating like that."

I laughed nervously, playing with the cloth napkin in my lap. "Yeah, um…I have a great metabolism, I guess. Lucky," I shrugged. "So, um…what does 'LJ' stand for? Does everyone call you that?"

My date smiled, nodding. "Yeah, ever since I was a little girl. It's short for 'Lisa Janine'. My dad just started calling me that, and…it just stuck."

"It has a ring to it," I agreed, taking the last bite of my steak.

She laughed politely, taking another nervous sip of her wine. We were eating in Port Angeles at a little Italian steak house. The drive there had been awkward, to say the least. I didn't know what to say to her in response to her anxious rattling in the passenger seat. I could tell that she was a nervous talker, not that that was a bad thing when I had limited words in my mouth for once in my life. LJ was nice. She hadn't balked at my nasty Bronco the way Regan had. She didn't eat as much as Regan did. She didn't make me smile like Regan would have when I drove too slowly.

But…this girl was okay for me. She was allowed. She was flirting with me, and she was obviously ready and willing. This girl was perfect for what I needed her for. So why did I want her to be Regan?

LJ was a sweet girl from the bar the night before. She had shoved her business card in my hand after two drinks, and I was running out of excuses to not date girls my age. I had an underage imprint that I was going to have to wait for, and my dirty dream about her the night before had been an eye opener. I needed another way to spend my time if that's all my mind would come up with for me to think about. LJ was a smart, witty, and beautiful girl that was twenty-six and an architect from Seattle. She was in town doing some rough sketches for a wealthy man that was building a house outside of Forks, and she was staying with some friends for the weekend. She was just what I usually went for – cute, nice, and only in town for a short time. So why couldn't I make a move?

I paid the bill and we got into my truck to head home. When we finally made it back to Forks, I felt my nerves start to kick in. What do I do now? Do I take her back to my house? Do I just drop her off at the friend's house where she was staying? Instinct told me to take her back to my house and give her what we both were probably after – a little harmless, casual sex and some company. But my heart was still pulling me in another direction. It was the direction of my mother's house on the other side of town where a teenager girl was probably already in bed.

I was quiet as I pulled up to the stoplight in Forks. "Embry said you have quite the house. I, um…would love to see it. He said it was an architect's dream."

I smiled awkwardly, looking at her sideways. This was it. This was do or die—kinda.

"Um…well…"

"Do you…want to show it to me?"

I laughed awkwardly, suddenly feeling like I was a seventeen-year-old virgin again. I was so out of practice at something that I was never particularly good at in the first place. There was a long, silent pause as I debated what to do. I knew that I would hate myself in the morning for a few moments of relief, if that's even what I would get from taking LJ home. I shrugged, looking over where she was gazing expectantly at me from the passenger seat.

"Seth?"

"Um, yeah….I…I should probably get you home. I've got an early morning tomorrow, so, I…um…" I stuttered. Her features fell as my answer sunk in.

"Oh…okay…well…alright then."

I dropped my disappointed date off at her friend's house and sped away. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart as I sped back to my house. My hands shook as I tried to come to grips with what I had almost done. By the time I got home, my skin was crawling. I parked in the driveway, stripping down as fast as I could. Maybe a run would help calm me.

I phased, my mind instantly filling with the voices of my brothers.

What's wrong?

Just an appearance from Brady's best friend, Embry's sarcastic voice greeted me. My brothers wasted no time showing me what happened - they had found the mysterious vampire that had been lurking around Forks for some time again. The chase was on. Embry was more annoyed than anything; we were all ready to end the stupid fucker and be done with this stupid goose chase. I chuckled to myself, scanning his thoughts as I put my nose to the ground. There wasn't a trace of anything around my house.

Brady pissed him off again. Those two are becoming friends, I think, Embry laughed.

Screw you, Brady echoed from somewhere near. I laughed again as I made my way to where Embry was patrolling.

You took that chick out?

Yeah, I admitted sheepishly.

So…care to explain to me why you're not rolling around in the sheets with her right now?

I shuddered with the idea of being with another woman. Embry felt my mood change, and he backed off.

Never mind, he said. If it makes you feel any better…I couldn't cheat on Sydney either. Or…I guess the idea of her, since we're not really…together.

We avoided talking about imprints after that. I helped them patrol for the same vampire that we had been trying to catch for weeks now. I honestly believed that if Brady wouldn't have messed with him and just killed him when he had the chance, the stupid nomad would've left months ago. But no, he had been making appearances since March. It was now almost September, and we were no closer to catching the elusive vampire than we had been in the first place.

I ran the perimeter with them a few times to act as back up, but we never caught anything else. This vampire was smart, and just as tricky as Victoria had been. I was worried for how this would end up; so far, he hadn't fed in Forks or La Push from what we had heard of, but I knew that couldn't last for long. Brady was just getting more and more pissed off, and I was sick of listening to him moan and groan about the stupid nomadic vampire and Lexi. She wasn't making his life easy; just when he thought she was about to relent and date him…he would let his true colors shine, and she would hightail it away.

I returned home after midnight, still shaken up by what I had almost done. Embry was right; even though it wasn't technically cheating, it still somehow felt like it.

The next morning, I still felt on edge.

I showered and dressed, but even that didn't make me feel any better. I couldn't even eat. I knew I was in trouble if I couldn't even eat. Glancing outside, I saw that the rare sunshine was making an appearance today, and it was looking like it was going to be a beautiful Sunday. I knew Regan started school tomorrow, and she probably would be busy, but…I had to at least hear her voice.

I dialed her cell phone, and she picked up on the first ring.

"Hey you," she greeted me brightly.

"Are my ears deceiving me? Are you actually up before noon?"

"I slept til eleven…thank you, smartass. Last day of summer…hello? The only way to celebrate is to sleep til almost noon."

"I forgot, I guess. So, what are you up to today?"

"Um, nothing really. I was actually about to call you. Do you want to go the beach or something?"

"We could. Or we could go hiking."

"Hiking?"

"Sure. You know…boots, woods, hills, trees…"

"Shut up! I know what hiking is. I do owe you a hiking trip. Okay then. Hiking it is, I guess."

After hanging up, I quickly packed a lunch for us and packed a backpack. I bolted out of the house and over to Charlie's where Regan greeted me with a bright smile.

"Seth!" she said, bouncing out of the house.

"Hey, honey," I replied, giving her a tight hug without thinking. I lifted her up off the ground with a laugh, and she shrieked through her giggles. Instantly, I felt better. As soon as her body touched mine, all the nerves and anxiousness melted away. Maybe that was it…maybe I just needed to see her. Hold her. Touch her.

"Hey, dear," she replied back sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at her and set her down. Once we were in the truck and I was surrounded by her soothingly familiar cherry almond scent, I knew I would get over whatever I had been going through. As I drove, I looked at her sideways as she talked excitedly about starting school.

"So are you actually happy to start school then?" I asked. She nodded happily.

"Well…I'm excited to be a senior this year. On top of the food chain…I dunno. It'll be nice to not have to worry about the upper classmen."

"What do you have to worry about? Anyone who gives you crap, I'll just give them a parking ticket."

"You wouldn't beat them up?"

"Nah. Claire would probably beat me to it."

We laughed and joked all the way to the woods where I wanted to hike. It felt so good to be with her again; talking, laughing, enjoying each other's company. Her presence was soothing to me, and it wasn't long before I felt like myself again.

We hiked in compatible silence. It wasn't like the night before with LJ when I couldn't think of things to say, and my mind was screaming at me. We walked along through the woods, occasionally making wise-ass remarks to each other or being goofy. Regan stumbled along, only occasionally showing her loveable clumsiness that reminded me so much of her cousin, Bella.

"Well Seth, it's official. You're trying to kill me," she panted after two hours.

"Want me to carry you?" I offered. She rolled her eyes at me and shoved past. I laughed, and we continued on.

By the time we finally got to the meadow, she was borderline whiny and a bit sweaty. As much as she complained about looking like crap, I thought she looked positively beautiful. Her hair was in two, loose pigtails, and she was wearing a tank top under one of Charlie's old, flannel shirts. She was donning some ripped jeans and a muddy pair of my mom's old hiking boots, but I thought she looked radiant.

She gawked at the meadow, and I couldn't blame here. The late summer flowers were in full bloom on this sunny afternoon, and the meadow was full of them. Sunlight streamed down through the trees as she stood in awe.

"Just what I love…a woman shocked speechless," I laughed, walking into the meadow. I dumped my backpack on the ground, spreading out the thin blanket as she continued to stare.

"The sun feels so good…" she murmured, lifting her face up toward the sky. The rays hit her cheeks, turning them slightly pink. "This is so beautiful, Seth. How did you find this?"

"Actually, Edward and Bella used to like to…hike up here."

Regan looked at me strangely, blinking a few times. "Edward and Bella?"

"Yeah, they're rather…outdoorsy," I lied, evading the truth. I would save the real story about her cousin for another day…preferably a day when she knew what I could change into.

"They don't seem like the type."

I nodded, plopping down on the blanket. I pulled out a few of the peanut butter sandwiches I had put together before leaving and looked at her expectantly.

"Hungry?"

She smiled, walking through the flowers towards the blanket. Her fingers twisted off a bright yellow flower as she sat next to me. I unpacked the rest of the food I had brought as she sat, absentmindedly yanking the petals off of it.

"I think its dead," I muttered, giving her a smile. She rolled her eyes and tossed it behind her. Gazing at the tree line, she frowned.

"I thought you told me never to come out into the woods, wander around. So, why are we hiking?"

I snorted as I unwrapped a peanut butter sandwich and handed it to her. "You're fine with me."

"Cocky," she uttered before taking a bite. "Peanut butter?"

I nodded, taking a huge bite out of my own. "Yeah. You gotta problem with that?"

She smiled, taking a sip of her bottled water. "You're a simple man, Seth Clearwater. I like it," she giggled.

We ate together peacefully, soaking up the sun in the meadow. "What did you do last night?" she asked suddenly.

I gaped at her, my eyes going wide for a second. Her question had caught me completely off guard. "Um…why?"

"You didn't come over for dinner. I just wondered. So where were you?"

Damn. She was getting curious. "Um…I was out."

She looked at me quite skeptically. "You? Out?"

I swallowed nervously, nodding. "Yeah, um…I had a date."

Regan stopped chewing suddenly, her face frozen. "You had a date?"

I couldn't look at her. "Yeah, I had a date."

She chewed her sandwich, staring at her hands. "Well…that's, um…good."

I looked over at her. "We're friends, right?"

Her green eyes flicked up to meet mine, and she gave me a shaky smile. "Of course…best friends," she replied in a wavering voice.

I nudged her with my elbow. "Well…between us girls, this chick was boorr-ing!" I joked. She cracked another smile, but still didn't look like she bought it.

"She was?"

I nodded, trying to look casual. "Yeah. And she only ate a salad. We went to a steakhouse, and she gets a salad! What's with that? It wasn't even one of the good ones with lots of stuff on it. It was just like…this garden salad. I felt like I was on a date with a rabbit."

"If you eat like you usually do, she probably felt like she couldn't compete," Regan mumbled. Her cheeks blushed pink. "You took her to a steakhouse? Where?"

I looked away, trying to keep my cool. Was she jealous?

"Um, Port Angeles. Just this little…bistro place, I guess. Um…" I stuttered, rubbing the back of my neck. Things were going downhill fast.

"Oh. That sounds…nice."

I looked at her, putting my hand on top of hers. "What's wrong? If you want me to take you out and get some steaks, we can do that. Hell, I'll take you right now. Do you want to go to Port Angeles and go out to eat?"

Regan stood up suddenly, so fast it looked inhuman. Dropping her sandwich and water, she stomped to the other side of the meadow. I stared after her, completely bewildered. What the hell had just happened?

"Regs…Regan! Wait!" I called, jumping up. I bounded after her, not about to let her out of my sight. I knew we were safe up in this part of the woods, but I wasn't taking any chances.

"What's wrong?" I asked, grabbing her arm. I pulled gently, making her turn around and face me. Tears streamed down her face, and her arms automatically went around her middle, protecting herself. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy as the tears slid down her pink cheeks, and she refused to look at me.

"What did I say? Regan? Regan, please…please tell me!" I pleaded like the little girl that I was. She looked the other way as I ducked down to eye level with her.

"It's nothing. It's stupid," she insisted, turning around the other way.

"No it's not, if whatever it is has you this upset. Why are you crying? Regan…"

"Seth, just…just drop it, okay?" she snapped, wiping her eyes. She stomped back to the blanket, still refusing to look at me.

"Regan…" I pleaded, dropping to my knees beside her. My heart twisted and clenched inside my chest, aching with fear that my imprint was so angry with me. "Tell me what's wrong?"

She huffed and looked away again. "It doesn't matter," she said shortly, wiping her tears away. Regan took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. I watched another tear fall down her cheek, sliding down until it dropped onto the blanket below. My chest continued to tighten.

"Tell me," I pleaded again. "I can't fix it unless you tell me."

"This isn't something you can fix!" she snapped again. "This isn't something that…that should even be broken, Seth," she said. I watched as she twisted the promise bracelet I had given her last Christmas around her wrist. As far as I knew, she only took it off to shower.

"Reg…please…"

"It's…so stupid, Seth, I can't even— I shouldn't be mad."

I paused, trying to pry my mind for what could possibly be wrong. "What are you so upset about?"

"I…" she started, looking up. "I'm afraid that…if you date, and…if you fall in love with some girl and get married and…you'll forget all about me. You'll leave me behind in the dust, and…"

"No, honey, no," I said before pulling her against me. She seemed shocked and stiffened at first, but eventually she gave in and let me hug her. She hugged me back.

"Don't forget about me. Don't…don't leave me," she begged, her hands grasping at the front of my t-shirt. Her breath caught in her throat as she choked on her air. I leaned down, resting my cheek on the top of her head.

"Regan, you're one of the most important people in my life. I could never…ever… forget about you. You're stuck with me, I promise. I promise, Reg. I'm not going anywhere, ever."

"I'm so selfish," she cried, taking another shaky breath. "But you're my…you're my best friend, I—"

"I'm not going anywhere, just stop crying…this is so silly, Regan."

When she finally calmed down, she released me. The front of my shirt was winkled from her hands balling it up in her fists, and I could feel the dampness where her tears were. She wiped her eyes sheepishly, still refusing to look at me.

"What sparked all this? Was it my stupid date? Regan, I didn't even…like her that much. We went to dinner and that was it," I insisted. She laughed, playing with the end of her hair.

"I don't know. Just…me being a stupid, teenage girl, I guess."

"Not for long," I pointed out. "You have a birthday coming up."

She smiled halfheartedly. "I'll only be eighteen," she said flatly.

I nodded. "I know. But…eighteen is…older."

Regan looked up at me, her eyes still puffy from crying. "Older?"

I nodded, taking a nervous sip of my water. "One year older. You've been in Forks for almost a year."

"You're right…a year in October. Less than a month. I still feel…so young."

"That isn't bad," I pointed out. "Enjoy it. I never got to."

"I know," she nodded, still twisting her promise bracelet. More than ever, I yearned to tell her what the true meaning of that bracelet was. But I couldn't—at least not yet. There was no way I could put a secret that big on her right now.

"I just…don't want you to leave me behind is all," she admitted.

"Regan, I would never leave you behind. I couldn't. You want to know a secret?"

She shrugged, pretending like she didn't care.

I laughed, shaking my head at her. "Well, I wished that that girl…I wished she was…you."

She looked at me suddenly, her eyes bright. "What?"

I nodded. "Yup, I wished it was you. I wished you would have been there with me instead of her. I would've had more fun eating at a steakhouse with my best friend than some silly girl."

Regan smiled, but it was only half hearted. "You promise?"

I hugged her again, holding her against my chest. "I have never meant anything more."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	33. Chapter 33

Regan

I stared into his eyes—his deep brown, chocolate-colored, kind eyes. I'd like to see someone get more lost in a pair of eyes as I did in his. It was something about the warm color that got me; it made me want to stare at them forever.

Those eyes made everything else in the room fade away. Time slows down when he looks at me. It always has and it always will. He stared at me as I stared back at him, and time did that funny thing where it only moved in slow motion. Everything around us kept moving like usual, but everything around him…just slowed. He watched as the cake was lowered in front of me. Was it symbolic of something? I didn't know. It felt like it was.

Taking a deep breath, I blew out the candles. One by one the flames were extinguished, and I was filled with the utmost satisfaction. The pungent smell of the smoke soon vanished as my family and friends erupted into cheers. There was movement all around me as the cake was cut and the pieces were handed out…but I only saw him.

I was eighteen.

Seth looked away, breaking our strange trance that no one else in the room had seemed to notice. Jamming his hands in his pockets, he looked down at the hardwood floor. Sue smiled and cut into the masterpiece of a birthday cake she had made for me, and my friends all chattered away excitedly. We were in the dining room on the rainy, fall afternoon celebrating my birthday with cake and a few presents. Lexi, Claire, Quil, Zeke; and of course, Seth, Leah, Sue, and Charlie were there with me, nearly busting at the seams for a taste of Sue's baking skills.

"Open mine first," I heard Claire insist, shoving a shiny, pink-wrapped package at me.

"Let her eat her cake first!" Lexi laughed, dipping her finger in the pink frosting. She swiped it on Claire's arm and they both burst into laughter that I only half-heartedly shared.

I watched Seth as he took his seat at the end of the table next to Charlie, patiently waiting for his share. He had been acting strange for the past few weeks, and I think I knew why.

After my hissy fit in the meadow, things with Seth were fine for a while, but then the closer it got to my birthday…the weirder he became. Don't ask what came over for me in the meadow because I couldn't tell you. I hadn't planned or expected to explode like that, but something snapped inside of me. Hearing Seth talk about going out with another girl was more than I could take. Hearing him talk about going out with a girl that wasn't me made me come unhinged. I had nearly exploded on him and told him how I felt. I wanted to scream and cry and unload on him about how badly I wanted him for myself. How selfishly I pined after him, my best friend, and how wrong I felt but at the same time how utterly right it felt to want him. I wanted to tell him the truth; I wanted him to wait for me to grow up and for it to be okay for me to feel the way I felt about him. I wanted to tell him that it nearly broke my heart to think of him moving on and away from me.

But instead, I sat in my chair on the opposite side of the room from him and said nothing. Everything moved in slow motion as I sat there in my daze. I watched as our friends talked and laughed and joked over cake, and I wished I could think about anything else other than the fact that I was now eighteen.

Seth looked up at that exact moment, and our gazes met.

"Happy Birthday," he mouthed to me across the table. I managed to nod and try not to look like a fool as he gave me a small smile.

'Thank you,' I mouthed back.

He jumped slightly as Quil shoved a piece of cake in front of him, and we all began eating. I opened a few presents and tried to look like I was enjoying myself, but I couldn't help but think of the incident a few weeks ago when Charlie had brought up Seth's birthday. I hadn't even known what date it was, so I felt like a really bad friend when it passed.

"Seth, you ever gonna let us take you out to dinner? I feel bad making you come to my house and clean and cook my fish for me."

"Nah, you know I love it Charlie," Seth had laughed as he flipped a fish fillet on the grill. He had spent the day fishing with Charlie; it was one of the last warm days of fall, and the two had spent it out on the lake fishing all day.

"Besides, who would know how to use Harry Clearwater's fish fry correctly? You and mom never do it right."

"He can't go out to eat Charlie, he eats like it's going out of style. Restaurants cry out in terror when they see him coming for fear that he'll eat all the food they have," I had laughed from my place on the porch. Seth rolled his eyes at me.

"Well, I wanted to take you out for your birthday but you didn't want to have anything to do with that," Charlie had replied, sipping his Vitamin R. I looked at Seth in surprise.

"Wait, when was your birthday?"

He smiled to himself, flipping the fish fillet on the grill. "Two Saturdays ago."

"You didn't tell me?" I had asked, jumping up to stand beside him. He shrugged, looking nonchalant. "It's no big deal. It wasn't a big birthday."

"Seth…" I had touched his arm, not expecting to feel warm sparks of electricity. He looked down in surprise, and I wonder for a moment if I had shocked him. He had felt it too.

"What?"

"I would have…."

"You would have…what?"

"Done…something. You're my best friend…." I had muttered under my breath.

I looked down at the ground, silently wondering how old he was. I had never asked; it seemed like a touchy subject not just with his friends and family but also with me.

"How old did you turn?" I whispered. The smell of the frying fish wafted up my nostrils as Seth stood there, poking absentmindedly at them with a spatula. He licked his lips and stared at them.

"Twenty-eight."

I stared at him for a moment, thinking back to the day that would have been Seth's birthday. He had come over to Charlie and Sue's. We had dinner and watched an old comedy movie on the couch. He hadn't said a word about it all day. It hadn't been a bad day in the slightest - we had laughed and joked together on the couch, our legs barely touching as the movie played on the flat screen. But why hadn't he said one word about turning another year older? Something told me I already knew. He didn't want to acknowledge it any more than I did.

"I still would have liked to know," I had whispered to him.

We didn't talk about his birthday ever again. I think we were both aware that it was a touchy subject without really admitting why. I had feelings for Seth…and as kind as he was about it…I already felt like he knew. We were such good friends that I felt completely transparent in front of him—like he could see straight through me. I had spent countless nights in my aqua room worrying about just how see-through I was around him.

Did he know? Could he possibly have a sixth sense that let him know that I was secretly falling for him?

As if on cue, Seth grinned at me across the table and stuffed a large piece of my chocolate cake into his mouth. I smiled, feeling the familiar butterflies that I got whenever he was around.

"Ready to try on that dress?" Leah asked, waggling her dark eyebrows at me after dinner. I groaned, rubbing my full stomach.

"Not when I'm pregnant with a food baby," I giggled. She rolled her eyes at me and reached behind me on the counter, grabbing another one of the leftover rolls from dinner and slathering it with butter. I grimaced in pain.

"How can you stand to eat like that? And still stay so thin?" I asked with amazement.

Leah gave me a mock-pose, her hand on her hip and her long leg jutting out. Grinning, she shoved the rest of the roll into her mouth and chewed.

"Good metabolism," she laughed. "Come on now, you'll look great. Just come upstairs and try it on…just one last time."

"Alright," I groaned, following her upstairs. Leah was hard to avoid these days - I was drawn to her happiness. Not that I could blame her - I would be ecstatic if I was about to marry the man of my dreams too.

Everyone else had gone home after devouring my birthday cake and watching me open up my presents. Seth had given me a quick hug and a brief kiss on the top of my head before darting out the door. I had been confused, but such was life lately. It seemed like he was walking on eggshells around me all the time, and I was a little relieved to have a night with just Leah. Her wedding to Scott was just days away, and she was here until the ceremony, staying with us.

Traipsing up the steps, I quickly dressed in my dark plum bridesmaid's gown, marveling at the lovely color. When I had originally heard Leah's choice of color for her fall wedding I had been skeptical. However, the strapless, tea-length gown was flattering with my pale skin and dark hair and also made me mature-looking at the same time. I was pleased to look so grown up—that was, after all, my goal.

I gazed in the mirror, twirling slightly to admire my profile. I was glad Leah had chosen something so sophisticated for me. I wanted Seth to look at me as an adult now and not some stupid teenager that he had to look out for. I wanted us to be equals now that I was eighteen.

"It looks great," Leah said, nodding at me. I turned around, smiling at her. Twisting my hair up, I posed for her.

"Up or down? Up looks more mature… Older."

"You can do it any way you want to. Alice will be doing my hair on Saturday, and I'm sure she'll do yours as well."

"Well good. I mean…I just want to look sophisticated. I want her to do something that will make me look older… Can she do something like that?"

Leah frowned, walking over to sit on my bed. "Why the sudden fascination with looking older, Regan? What's going on?"

Ah. So I was obvious. Well shit.

I stopped posing in front of the mirror, miffed at myself for being so transparent. "Um…no reason, I guess… Why?"

She shook her head at me. "I just want you to feel pretty and have fun, Regan. I'm not a regular bride. I don't care what you look like as long as you're there with me on Saturday, and you're having a good time."

I looked at her sympathetically. That was such a Leah thing to say. She was intimidating at first, but once you got to know her, she was one of the warmest, most endearing people you would want to meet.

"Leah…your wedding day is not about me having a good time. Besides…I was just worried how the silly dress looks."

Leah smiled, tucking a long, black strand of hair behind her ear. "You look marvelous. You always do. Why are you so worried?"

I ignored her question, turning to look in the mirror again. Smoothing down the wrinkles, I looked at myself with scrutinizing eyes. Did I look any older? I didn't feel any older…when I turned eighteen, I had just magically expected to feel like some sort of new woman. Disappointingly enough, I felt just like…me.

"What's all this about?" Leah asked, walking up behind me.

I looked at her in the mirror, feeling myself blush. Looking away quickly, I saw her nod in the corner of my eye.

"Oooh," she said knowingly.

I knew by the look in her eye that she knew my secret. I was a dead giveaway.

"Is this about impressing someone?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, still avoiding her dark eyes. She nodded again, her eyebrows rising slightly. I felt my heart start to pound.

"Is this someone…older?"

I inhaled slightly, awkwardly still avoiding her gaze. "Maybe," I repeated, my voice now even softer and shakier than before.

My secret was threatening to come out, and it felt useless to try to stop it.

Leah stepped closer, and I let my eyes rise up to meet hers in the reflection. She was staring at me, but not with the condemning, disgusted way I had expected I would get from her. She knew I liked her brother, and I had expected her to practically condemn me for it. But Leah surprised me, as always.

"It's Seth."

I felt my eyes widen as a pregnant pause formed tangibly in the room.

"You won't tell, will you?" I pleaded, losing any semblance of self-control. I turned around, grabbing her shoulders with my pale, shaking hands.

"N-no," she stuttered, her eyes just as shocked as mine.

"Leah, I would just die-"

"Regan, calm down…I won't tell."

"Please…" I begged. "I know he's your brother but…but I would just die, I–"

"Calm down!" she hissed, walking over and quietly shutting my door. "Did something happen that I need to know about?"

I looked down at the floor, instantly uncomfortable. If I was transparent enough for her to know that it was Seth, what if she figured out that I was completely in love with him? I bit my lip as I admitted to myself in my head how strongly I felt for my best friend. My cheeks burned with shame as the word 'love' floated around inside my head. I knew it was wrong to feel the way I did about him, but I couldn't help it anymore…and I cared less and less about stopping it. Turning eighteen tonight had been like gasoline to a fire—it only made things ignite more.

"Yes," I whispered, my hands dropping to my sides. Leah was over to me in a flash.

"What happened, Regan? Nothing…bad, right?"

"No… Why would it be bad?"

She looked confused for a moment before dropping her hands from my arms. "Nothing, just… What happened?"

I bit my lip, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. Tears formed in my eyes, and I blinked as I looked away from her again.

"I don't know, I just…I got jealous.""Jealous of what, Regs?"

"He…he had a date, Leah…he took out some girl."

"He what?" she gaped at me.

I nodded, swiping angrily at my eyes. Although the incident had been nearly two months ago, it was still fresh in my mind. He had given me the fright of my life by taking another girl out on a date. Even though neither one of us had brought it up since, I was still shaken by the idea of Seth dating and leaving me behind. I wanted to at least have a chance to be with him. Back then, the idea of being eighteen and an adult had been dangling in front of my face. It just didn't seem fair.

"Nothing, just…he took some girl out on a date, and I freaked out…"

"He didn't…do anything…like…"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking up at her. She shifted uncomfortably and shook her head.

"Nothing, nothing. So…he took a girl out on a date? He really did?" She looked as confused as I felt about the whole thing. I nodded again, wiping a fresh set of tears away. Ever since that day, there had been a tension to our relationship that hadn't been there before. We were still best friends, but…there was an underlying ball of something brewing beneath the rocky surface. Things were different between us – still good but…different.

"I don't get it," she muttered, frowning at the floor. I sniffled, wiping my eyes. She looked back up at me, giving me a tight hug. I clung to her warm body and hugged her back, still choking for breath.

"I felt so…s-stupid," I cried, wiping my eyes again.

"Regan…there's no need to feel stupid. You didn't do anything wrong," she said, pulling away and looking at me. "Was he upset?"

"No, just…surprised," I admitted. "I didn't think he dated."

"He doesn't," Leah said flatly. She wrung her hands nervously a few times, her dark eyebrows still furrowed into a frown. "I just don't get it. Is he…he didn't see her again, did he?"

"No…not that I know of. But he's always here."

"Right. Regan, look…this really isn't worth crying over. Don't cry over Seth. He's my brother, just…please…no tears over Seth. Promise me."

"But Leah, I…" I choked slightly, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. I felt flustered, and panicked, and trapped; I wasn't ready to admit to myself how badly I wanted my secret crush, especially not to his sister.

"Please don't tell him. I can't…I mean…if he was mad…"

"Sweetie, why would he be mad? You just have a little crush on him…that's normal."

"No, it's not."

She looked at me skeptically. "You think you're the first girl to go pining after an older man? Please, you never saw me drooling after my dad's best friend's son, Cooper. I was in love with him and followed him around like a puppy…never mind that he was twice my age."

"You don't seem like the drooling type," I sniffed. She handed me another Kleenex and shrugged.

"I was like you. I guess you could say I did all my drooling in private. But I still did it. It's not a crime to have a crush. Why are you so upset?"

I shook my head. "Because he's my best friend. Leah, I…I think I'm in love with him," I sputtered as she handed me a Kleenex. She didn't say anything, and she still didn't look as disgusted as I imagined she would be at my dirty little secret.

"Regan…you're sure?"

I nodded, giving my eyes another exasperated swipe. I felt like a fool for crying in front of Leah, and even more ridiculous for admitting that I was in love with her brother. Taking a deep, shaky breath I tried to calm myself down.

"Please don't tell."

I felt like a fool, but the words had come out of my mouth before I could regain control.

She shook her head sympathetically, rubbing my arm. "I won't tell, Regan. I promise. But this isn't something you can keep a secret for long. I think…I think you and I both know that. Things like this have a way of eventually come out, no matter how hard you try to hide them."

I nodded. "I know," I whispered.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Here we go again," Lexi sighed, plopping down next to me at school the next day. I looked over at her, giving her a grin. It was a dreary, fall day in Forks and the day before Leah's wedding. I was still trying to get over my little breakdown the night before in front of Leah. Why did I always have to humiliate myself?

"What? Aren't you embracing the wondrousness that is this beautiful, fall morning?"

Lexi made a face, turning around to glance out the windows of the cafeteria. Rain drizzled down the sides of the glass, making the cafeteria look even gloomier than usual.

"I feel like we just had spring. It rained all spring…and part of the summer too. And now it's fall again, and it's back to raining. I had to scrape the frost off my car this morning, Regan…" she said exasperatedly. "It's only September, and already there's frost!"

I shrugged at her. "That's what you get," I replied, opening my bottled water. She sighed, avoiding my gaze for a second. Guilt was laced into her perfect features. I sighed, leaning back in my chair with a knowing look.

"That look on your face could only mean one thing."

Lexi nodded, looking up at me. Her clear blue eyes were full of remorse. "It does. I…finally went out with Brady," she admitted. "Are you upset?"

I laughed. "Lex, I've been telling you since March to go out with the poor guy. I could really not care less. If you take him and…turn him around, then…maybe it's one less hot guy that's an asshole running around out there."

"You swear?" she asked, a relieved look coming over her face. I nodded.

"Really. Maybe you can help him. Really, zero weirdness, Lex. Just one date doesn't mean you're gonna marry him."

She winced again, another guilty look flashing across her face. "Well, um…we kinda hung out all weekend."

I gaped at her, quickly trying to rein my emotions in. I wasn't jealous – I was surprised.

"Wait…you go from barely speaking to him and calling him a dog to spending all weekend together? Um, do tell," I urged, giving her my best encouraging smile. She shrugged, her cheeks turning red.

"It's too early to tell anything yet. I mean…he's nice when we're alone."

"How nice?" I asked skeptically. She shook her head at me.

"Nothing happened. I'm still trying to decide if I like him. Which is very hard, considering how hot he is without a shirt on."

I raised one eyebrow at her. She shook her head. "He was washing his car when I pulled up in the driveway. Nothing like that. I was just amazed he was out in his shorts and no shirt just a few days away from November."

"The La Push guys have a weird thing about always being shirtless…I would know," I sighed, biting my lip. My mind wandered to the forbidden corner where I stored all my eye candy memories of Seth—shirtless and bronzed in my backyard. I had only seen him shirtless a few times, but…that was enough—let's just say I wasn't running low on happy thoughts any time.

"Are you going to be alright?" Her normally loud, chirpy voice had sunk down to a smooth, quiet tone. I could feel her concern.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at her, playing dumb. Apparently I couldn't act. She gave me a knowing look.

"Regan…come on. Big wedding this weekend. Newly legal-ness. That spells fun in this Podunk town. Please tell me you're going to celebrate by at least flirting shamelessly with your hotter-than-Brad Pitt best friend," she quietly begged. Lexi and her sarcasm knew me well. I rolled my eyes at her and cracked open my soda.

"I would if I didn't feel like such an idiot. Leah saw right through me. I had a meltdown in my room last night and she called me on my little…crush," I admitted, shifting nervously in my seat.

"Ah, so you do like him then," Lexi hummed with satisfaction.

"Please, Lex…don't tell."

She nodded, wiping the grin off her face. "This one isn't mine to tell. No worries," she said reassuringly. I nodded gratefully, taking a sip of my drink. With the wedding tomorrow, I had enough to worry about. What was going to happen?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

My hands shook a little as I fastened the pearl studs into my ears. Before picking up the plum colored bouquet of purple hydrangeas and roses that matched, I wiped my already sweaty hands on the sides of my dress. I hated attention from crowds; today was no different. Even though I wouldn't be the center of attention, I knew that I would have eyes on me as I walked down the aisle in front of Leah.

The day of her wedding had finally arrived, and I had gotten to meet her fiancé, Scott, the night before. He had flown in at the last minute to Port Angeles, and we had spent the night talking with Leah about the wedding. Scott wasn't all what I had pictured him to be; I had pictured someone different for Leah, but Scott was perfect when I thought about it. He was calm, very soft spoken, and witty. Although they were different, they complimented each other perfectly.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," I called out. I was greeted with Seth's black hair and bright smile as usual.

"Leah about ready?" he asked, stepping in. I nodded, giving him a nervous smile.

"Whoa," he said quietly, resting his eyes on me. I felt my heart start to speed up as his gaze settled over my body in the sophisticated dress. A mixture of satisfaction and nervousness sizzled through me as I watched his face.

"What?"

"You just look so…grown up," he mumbled, looking away. I opened my mouth to speak when Leah's voice rang out from the corner of the room.

"Almost. I could use a pep talk from a little brother of mine," Leah admitted, poking her own head out from behind the screen where she was dressing.

"You'll be fine," her cousin, Emily, laughed, grabbing her hand. She pulled her out from behind the screen, and Seth whistled appreciatively. Leah's white, mermaid style dress fit her gazelle-like body like a glove. The strapless, satin-smooth fabric of the dress complimented her tan skin, making her glow in the late sunlight that was pouring through the windows. The simple dress followed her subtle curves down her body, fanning out slightly at the knees. It was an elegant dress and very fitting for someone like Leah. She didn't need a lot of frills to look good, and she was proving it now. Picking up her bouquet, I marveled at the way the purple colors of her flowers complimented her pretty features.

"Looking good, sis! You know, you clean up pretty," he chuckled, crossing the room in a few, short strides. Leah swatted his shoulder, her nerves clearly showing on her face.

"I don't need teasing today. I need you to tell me that I won't screw this up. Tell me I won't screw this up," Leah chattered nervously, giggling. She squeezed Seth's hands until they turned white and he made a face.

"Easy there killer. Just chill. Scotty's all cool, hanging out and having a glass of scotch, and you're the one freaking out? Talk about role reversal," he muttered, shaking his head.

"He's having a drink too? Oh good…" Leah mumbled, reaching into her bag. She pulled out a tiny flask, taking a long pull off of it. I watched with wide eyes, and she gave me an exasperated look.

"I just needed one. Don't judge me," she pleaded, smoothing out her dress. I shrugged, looking over at Seth. He looked away quickly, avoiding my gaze. We helped Leah get herself together before heading out into the lobby of the small chapel. Seth waggled his eyebrows at his sister as he peeked through the doors.

"Full house out there. I guess they all wanted to see the wild beast be tamed," he teased her. She began to swat at him with her bouquet, but thought better of it.

"Now behave yourself. Don't upset the bride before I have to walk her down the aisle," Charlie's gruff voice interrupted us.

I looked over, smiling at Charlie as he tugged uncomfortably at his tuxedo collar. He looked incredibly dapper in his suit with his new haircut and fresh shave, and I had to hand it to him. For being almost sixty, he looked very nice.

"Thank you, Charlie," Leah said, giving Seth a shove. "Get up to the front. Let's get this show on the road," she said.

Seth shrugged, flashing her another smile. His gaze shifted to me, and he raised his eyebrows a bit.

"See you out there, Regs," he said quickly before darting around to the side entrance. I frowned, not amused by his behavior. After worrying so much about what I was going to do or say today, he sure was avoiding me like a pro. My heart sank a little. Was I stupid to think that turning eighteen would give me a chance?

"I'll go first, then you count to ten…okay?" Emily's soft voice cut through my thoughts. I nodded, giving her a small smile.

"Thank you for doing this, Charlie," Leah said, wrapping her arm into her stepfather's.

He nodded good-naturedly, patting her hand that was around his arm. "I'm just a stand in today, but proud to do it. Harry couldn't be here so…I'm just the next best thing, I suppose," he said flatly, but there was a twinkle in his eye.

"I appreciate it," she said, giving him a smile. Charlie nodded, looking a little misty.

"Harry was my best friend. It's the least I can do. Now if that Scott ever gives you any trouble, you let him know that Harry's old buddy is gonna be polishing his gun, you understand?"

Leah rolled her eyes as the doors opened. I watched as Emily began down the aisle, and I nervously counted to ten. Once Emily was down the aisle, I took a few nervous steps onto the soft carpet of the chapel. Every eye turned to me as I began the slowly walk forward, and I felt my stomach lurch. I hated being the center of attention, and tonight was no exception. And then, when I thought I was going to hurl from the nerves bouncing around in my stomach, I saw him.

Standing at the end of the aisle next to Scott's friend was Seth. When I laid eyes on him, standing at the end of an aisle in a tuxedo, I had to remind myself to walk slower, if anything.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"So pretty," Claire murmured, touching the rose petals on the arrangement next to the table. I looked over, tearing my eyes away from Seth who stood at the bar, sipping a glass filled with some golden-colored liquor. Bella's husband, Edward, stood next to him, talking in a low voice. Seth was watching me back from across the room with a strange smirk on his face.

"What?"

"Earth to Regan," Claire muttered, raising one dark eyebrow at me. I shrugged, picking up my glass of water and sipping it nervously. Looking over my shoulder, I met Seth's gaze across the room again. He nodded at me, and I blushed and looked away. Edward met my gaze as well and mimicked Seth's movements. I gave a shiver before looking away and pretending I hadn't' seen them. Something about Edward was off. Of course, he was charming and incredibly good-looking, and I was happy for my cousin, Bella, but…there was something about him that unsettled me slightly. I felt like he could see right through me sometimes.

"Sorry."

"Are you alright?"

"People seem to ask me that question a lot," I said quietly, taking another sip of water. My mouth was suddenly dry. Why was I so on edge? I felt like I was ready to crawl out of my skin. Seth had looked so handsome and perfect standing at the end of the aisle earlier. I had wanted to burn the picture of him in a tux into my mind to keep forever.

"Did I look…silly during the wedding?"

"Other than standing up there behind Emily and staring at your best friend…no," Claire chuckled, sipping her own drink.

Shaking my head, I smoothed the wrinkles out of my dress and sipped my water again. The reception had just gotten into full swing, and we were all waiting for Leah and Scott to arrive. I had opted out of the limo ride to the reception, wanting to give Leah and Scott some privacy after such a hectic day. I looked out the clear window of the white, heated tent on the reservation. I had been skeptical of Alice when she said that she was going to have the reception in a tent. I had thought she was nuts. However, now that I was inside the huge, impressively decorated tent, I was in awe of Alice's decorating abilities.

"Amazing, isn't it?" I asked, looking at all the decorations. Claire followed my gaze as I admired all of the elaborate centerpieces that lined the tables, all arranged in a perfect pattern. In the middle of the room was the white dance floor that had been put down for the occasion. To the sides were tables decorated with pictures of Scott and Leah, even bigger flower arrangements, and a long line of fancy looking hors d'oeuvres. There were also some classics mixed in with the fancily cut fruit and fancy cheeses. Seth and all his friends had practically annihilated the mini cocktail weenies, sliders, and all of the dip.

"Alice is…talented," Claire said, nodding.

"I can't get over how she did all this. She got this all done this morning? I mean I'm sure she had help, but…it's inhuman!"

Claire burst out laughing, her loud giggles earned us a few looks from the rest of the people flowing into the tent.

"She's something alright," she finally said.

We stood around, greeting people we knew and talking until the reception got started. Once Leah and Scott arrived, the typical wedding stuff got going – pictures, toasts, dinner, and cake. When all of the typical 'wedding' stuff was over with, the dancing started and the lights went low.

"Come dance with me," Lexi begged, dragging me out of my chair. I put my soda down and allowed my friend to drag me out onto the dance floor with everyone else.

"Why are you making me dance? You should be dancing with Brady. He's been staring at you all night, you silly goose."

"I know he has. I'm being a tease," she whispered in my ear as a giggle, bumping her hip with mine. "Besides, Claire is busy dancing with Quil, and I don't want to interrupt her little love-fest," she said. Looking over, I saw Quil and Claire in the corner of the dance floor, dancing only half-heartedly as they had a heated discussion.

"Wonder what they're talking about? I've never seen Quil look that…serious."

"Who knows? She's like…in love with him or something."

I snapped my head around, looking at Lexi incredulously. "What do you mean, 'in love with him'? Did she say something to you?" I asked over the loud music.

Lexi shrugged, grabbing my hand and twirling me in a circle. "No, but she doesn't have to. I've seen the way they look at each other. Come on, Regan…babysitter my ass. She's totally head over heels for him, look at her!"

"We're all head over heels for guys we can't have," I muttered, rolling my eyes as the colorful lights flashed. People danced all around us, oblivious to our serious conversation.

"Yeah, I should probably acknowledge Brady sometime today. I've been ignoring him."

I shook my head at her, laughing at her antics. She and Brady were so hot and cold with each other it was hard to keep track of whether or not they were speaking that day. She lived to torture him, and he lived to torture her. I could tell they were crazy about each other.

"You two are always fighting. You act like you can't stand each other one minute, and then the next…you can't keep your hands off him. What gives?"

Lexi's blue eyes flashed as she bounced along with the beat, tossing her blonde, curled hair over her shoulder. "I don't know," she giggled, biting her lip. "He just…he turns me on. I don't know what else to say, Regan."

We both burst out laughing, and before I knew it, Lexi's ridiculous dance moves and infectious laughter had me having a blast. How she could pull off dancing like such a dork, I wasn't sure, but she made it look like more fun than anyone else was having.

Before we knew it, nearly five songs had gone on, and we were still in the middle of the dance floor probably dancing like fools but having a great time. When the music slowed down, I actually found myself disappointed. Turning to leave, I gasped when a warm hand snaked its way across my waist, turning me in a quick half circle so that I was facing the dance floor again.

"No, no…" Seth chuckled, pulling me back. I smiled, giving him a mock annoyed glare and trying to not show how flustered I was. "You're having too much fun out here to leave."

"My feet hurt," I whined, following him to the side of the dance floor as the slow song began to play.

"Then take your shoes off," he countered back, a mischievous gleam in his dark eyes. I shook my head, biting back a giggle.

One arm wound around my waist, and the other took my hand. "Let's, err…try this dancing thing."

"Haven't you ever been to a dance before? We could dance like we're in junior high if that would make you feel better," I laughed, laying my arms around his neck like I did the boys in the 7th grade. Seth laughed, looking away with an embarrassed look.

"What?" I asked.

"It's nothing," he chuckled, looking down at me. I stopped laughing, resuming our first dance post and began to sway in time with the slow song.

"Come on…" I urged. "Tell me."

He swallowed, shaking his head. "I've never danced with a girl before."

I looked at him, convinced he was lying. "What? You're kidding."

"No," he said, gazing down at me. I lost myself for a second in his brown orbs, the warm color nearly sucking me in.

"What do you mean? Didn't you go to dances?"

"No. I never went to prom or…or to any parties or anything where I would…dance," he admitted, his voice a little sad.

"You're serious, aren't you?" I whispered, watching his serious features. He nodded, his eyes flicking up to meet mine again.

I felt my heart go out to him. "Well, I wish I was a better dancer if this really is your first dance with a girl."

He laughed, his usual bright smile returning. "No, Regs, I'm glad it's you actually. I never got to go to prom or anything, so…I'll pretend this is my dance with you at prom."

I gulped; my hand that held his began to sweat. Licking my lips, I glanced up at him as the butterflies in my stomach felt like they were caught in a tornado. It was now or never. Do I tell him how I felt? Do I let him know that I had feelings for him now that I was eighteen and I was an adult?

"I, um…kinda wished you were at my prom this spring," I admitted.

His eyes brightened a bit, the smile returning. "Really?"

I nodded. "I mean, Zeke is great an all…" I started, looking over to the tables where Zeke sat with a few other boys from the rez. "But he's…" I trailed off, as I was about to say 'not you.' My voice was all but a whisper as my eyes avoiding Seth's. I felt his hand tighten in my waist. Was it my imagination, or did he bring me an inch closer to his body? I must be going crazy.

"What?" he prodded.

I looked up, meeting his gaze. "He's, uh…it just would have…been nice to have one dance with you, that's all. You're…you're my best friend."

He nodded happily, but his face betrayed him. He looked…sad. Had I said something wrong?

"You're my best friend too," he admitted, his voice soft. We swayed side to side, but a certain sadness had settled over him.

"What's wrong? Tell me," I demanded gently, squeezing his hand as we danced. He looked away, sighing heavily. I turned to look where his gaze was, and he was looking at his friend, Edward. He was dancing with Alice – his sister – a few feet away. Both of them were giving Seth sympathetic looks, but they were replaced by almost sad-looking smiles as I met their gazes.

"What is it?" I asked.

He shrugged, still avoiding looking me in the eye. "I don't know…just been thinking about things lately."

"Care to share?"

"Nah, it's alright."

"You'd feel better if you did," I urged, stepping closer to him. He smiled instantly, his laugh blowing a trace of his sweet yet masculine pine and sandalwood scent towards me. I felt my heart speed up in my chest as I reveled in how sinfully good he smelled.

"Okay, well…" he started, clearing his throat. "Why did you get so upset with me that day in the meadow…at the end of summer, when we went hiking?"

"I remember," I admitted, feeling myself start to blush. "I was just…being stupid, Seth. I don't know."

"Tell me." This time it was his turn to order me.

I shrugged, my palms beginning to sweat. "I was just…just worried that you know…if you started dating some girl…"

"That what?"

"That you'd like—God, this sounds stupid..." I muttered. "…leave me behind or something. I was just being stupid and jealous, Seth, I swear."

"It's okay," he said. "But I just…I meant what I said. I'd never leave you, Regan. You have to know that by now. We're—god, you're my best friend ever. I don't want you to have fears like that. It's just…so silly really. I mean…" He was obviously having just as hard of a time with his words as I was. Together we were two bumbling idiots.

"Seth, it's alright," I said as the song drew to an end. Everyone began clapping politely as another faster song began, and people began to dance again.

"Just— Listen, can we talk later…after this?" he pleaded, still holding onto my hand.

"Sure," I said slowly, feeling the butterflies start up again.

"Good," he said, giving me a smile. I was worried that something was wrong or he had bad news until he flashed that smile at me.

"Okay," I stuttered, giving him a confused look. Suddenly, I was aware that there was a near shouting match going on the opposite side of the dance floor. There, along the side of the tent, stood Claire and Quil. Only…Claire looked paler than I'd ever seen her as she stood in front of Quil, whose face covered by a dark look. Standing in her coral, mini dress and high heels, she looked like a cover girl out of a magazine until I looked at her face. She shook her head a few times, and I gasped when I saw her wipe a tear off her cheek. Seth gripped my hand as he watched from across the dance floor as the two of them yelled at each other.

"You're an insensitive jerk, Quil Ateara! If you want to go on like this, then there's obviously nothing I can do!"

"Claire, stop it," he begged, his face incredulous and angry. His fists were clenched at his sides as she continued yell at him, tears streaming down her face.

"Not here," he hissed, looking around as people began to notice. Seth pulled me across the floor, walking quickly over to where they were.

"Hey, calm down, Quil," he said firmly, grabbing his shoulders. His other friend, Jake, was there as well, and he quickly placed himself between Quil and Claire.

"Outside…now," he ordered, and Quil's stiff, rigid body instantly loosened. Claire's body shook with a sob, and I was instantly at her side.

"Claire…what's wrong?" I asked, searching her features. Her streaked mascara ran down her cheeks in black tears, and her eyes were puffy and red. I wiped her cheeks with my thumbs as she continued to cry.

"Hey…take her to the back, okay? I'll be right back," Seth told me firmly before dashing off. People continued to dance, oblivious to my crying friend as I pulled her to the back of the tent near the rear entrance.

"Claire, what happened?"

"He's a jerk, Regan. They're all big, stupid jerks. If he can't s-see what's right in front of him then…"

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"I…I don't know. We were dancing, and he wanted me to wear my sweater because my dress is too tight or low or short or whatever he was bitching about…" she cried. "He wants me to dress like I'm a little girl again, Regan, but I'm not. I'm eighteen for crying out loud. And if I want to wear this dress then…then I can! If he can't appreciate me in it, then that's too fucking bad!"

I gaped at my best friend as the curse words poured out of her mouth in her crying fit. Claire rarely cussed, so I knew she had to be upset. In my opinion, her dress wasn't really that bad. However, I hadn't been her babysitter for years and years.

"Maybe…he's just having a hard time with you being eighteen, Claire. He's known you since you were a baby, and…maybe the…shift is hard for him."

"He should be happy! He should be glad that I'm almost grown up and just…" she sniffed. "Things could be so perfect, Regan," she cried. I wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug, letting her cry.

"I know the feeling," I whispered.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Will she be alright?" Seth asked a half hour later as he walked up. I stood by the bar, swirling the ice in my Shirley Temple and shrugged.

"She's pissed," I muttered, taking a swig. He looked at me, jamming his hands in his pockets. His tie was loosened, and he looked tired for the first time in a long time.

"Will Quil be alright?"

"He's pissed too. But he'll get over it."

"You sound so sure," I said as he motioned to the bartender, who handed him a fresh drink. He swirled the ice in the glass, downing half of it in one sip.

"They'll work it out. They always do," he said, crunching on a piece of the ice. I gripped my girly glass, shaking my head. People were still dancing slowly on the floor, Leah and Scott in the center. She looked so happy in that moment that my heart ached a little. Was it so wrong to want that for myself—the look of pure adoration and love that they exchanged when they looked at each other. The way he could kiss her without it seeming like a big deal—was it wrong to want to love the person standing next to me without it feeling like a crime?

I glanced at Seth as he finished his drink.

"You hardly ever drink," I observed.

"Not in front of you, no," he smiled, motioning for another. "Fast metabolism…I'm not going to be able to get a buzz," he laughed.

I smiled at him, and he smiled back. The butterflies in my stomach were…happy.

Sue walked up to us, looking more vixen than mother of the bride in her navy blue, sparkling gown and heels. Taking a glass of champagne off the bar, she grinned at us.

"Having fun?" Seth asked, poking her arm. Sue laughed, flashing her white teeth.

"Isn't Leah beautiful?" she cooed, glazing out at her daughter as she swayed with her new husband.

"Lovely," Seth said flatly, taking another sip of his drink.

I rolled my eyes at him. "She looks beautiful, Sue."

"You two should be dancing," Sue said happily. I think Sue was a little drunk. "Everyone else is!"

"I think Mom has had one too many champagnes," Seth muttered.

"It's her daughter's wedding. I think that makes her allowed," I laughed. Sue rolled her eyes and slapped her son on the arm, and I giggled at their silliness.

"Hey, why don't you let Regs have a glass? She needs to loosen up," Seth said, elbowing me in the side. I snorted, giving him a playful shove.

"Well…" Sue looked at Charlie, who had just walked up for another beer.

"I didn't see anything. But no driving," he said sternly. "Just one."

I grinned as Seth handed me a glass of the sparkling liquid. I hadn't had a drink in over a year; but this felt different. This didn't feel like an escape, this felt like a celebration. As Sue and Charlie went off to dance, I clinked my glass with Seth's.

"Dance with me," he begged once I was finished with my glass. Taking my hands in his, my palms began to pleasantly sizzle with the warmth that he gave me every time we touched. With the bubbles from the champagne rising to my head and the lights flashing on the dance floor, I allowed him to pull me out amongst our friends and dance. Looking over, I saw Leah singing along with the upbeat song as it began to play, her long, white dress swinging as she danced with Paul's daughter. She looked so happy that it made me happy.

Before I knew it, I was allowing Seth to sing to me in his terrible off-key voice and twirl me in circles.

"Well she was just seventeen…you knowww what I mean, and the way she looked was way beyond another…when I sawwww her standing there…" he sang along with the music. My cheeks blushed at the relevance of the lyrics as he spun me in another circle. He met my gaze as we bounced with the beat, and we both laughed.

"Well she looked at me and I could seeee…that before too long, I'd fall in love with her…"

"You suck," I laughed as he held me against him, swaying clumsily to the music. He just laughed and continued to sing off-key to the loud music.

My plum dress fanned out every time he made me spin, and I laughed giddily. I loved just being silly with him. It felt so natural. I could always count on Seth to join me when acting like a complete dork. Everything about being with him felt natural. I knew I was a lot younger than him, but…how could my feelings for him be wrong when they felt so right?

When the song ended, I let him pull me off the dance floor. Our friends were still all dancing and having a good time—even Lexi had gotten Brady to give in and dance with her. I could tell that the party was just getting started; all the little kids had long since gone to bed, and the older people were back at their tables, drinking coffee. That was always a surefire way to tell that the party was really starting, I thought.

"I'm hot," I whined to Seth. He laughed, still holding my hand in his as he walked by the bar. Grabbing two more glasses of champagne, he handed me one.

"Our little secret," he laughed, taking a long swig of his. I did the same, giggling as the bubbles slid down my throat. The champagne didn't make me feel drunk, just giddy and excited and really happy. I liked it. As if he was reading my mind, Seth chuckled and downed the rest of his. I followed his lead, finishing off the glass. I normally wouldn't have drank, but…tonight felt like a celebration. I was entering a new phase of my life, and it was one I was looking very forward to.

"Want to stand outside? It's cooler out there," he said, motioning to the entrance of the tent. I nodded, and we both put down our empty glasses. We walked out into the cool night air, still in high spirits from the champagne and the dancing.

"Leah looks so pretty," I told him. The chilly, fall air instantly cooled me as we walked over to where a bench was set up along the side of the huge, white tent.

"You're pretty," Seth joked, sitting down on the bench. I wasn't sure if it was the champagne or the giddiness I had felt with him while dancing, but…I sat on his lap like I owned him. Seth's face showed surprise, but it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it was far from it. He said nothing, but his face brightened and his arm went around my waist like it was second nature as I perched on his thigh. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leaning on him easily.

"Are you drunk, Seth Clearwater?" I laughed, looking over at him.

He chuckled, shaking his head at me. "No, just happy."

"Why's that?"

He shook his head. "No reason," he said with a happy smirk. I gave him a weird look, and he shrugged.

"Then what's that look on your face?" I teased.

He shrugged again, making a face at me. His bright smile and tan face looked smug and almost satisfied; like he was keeping a secret from me…but one that he would eventually tell. I laughed nervously, but it was a good feeling. I secretly loved being this close to him. His warm, inviting scent swirled around me, and I secretly hoped I smelled as good to him.

"Tell me," I urged, shaking his shoulder with my arm. He chuckled again, the same smug look reappearing.

"I was…just thinking that I'm so glad you're happy. You look…so happy today and just…full of, ah…I don't know," he stuttered, looking away.

"I am happy," I said slowly, watching his features. I had never been this close to him before for such a long period of time, and it was so nice. I could see every freckle, every eyelash, and every feature of his face. I wanted to be…closer.

He turned his face back towards mine, a slow smile appearing on his lips. "That's all I've…ever wanted…for, um…you," he admitted, stumbling over his words.

I caught myself staring at his lips as he spoke about my happiness. He wanted me to be happy. Another feeling of satisfaction burned through my veins as I sat on his lap, staring at his mouth. And then…I was drawn to it.

"Really?" I whispered, willing my eyes to look up into his…his warm, perfect, beautifully brown eyes.

"Really," he said with a gulp. There was a sharp yet invitingly warm tug on my sternum then, as if it was being pulled like a moth to a flame. I could feel it, but it didn't make me panic because it was pulling me towards the only thing in the world I wanted—him.

"Only one thing could make me happier..."

"What's that?" he whispered, his voice rough and gravelly.

I swallowed nervously, giving into the tug; I was tired of fighting it.

So I did the only thing I could do… I stopped trying.

My lips touched his, although I'm not sure how they got there. I think I leaned forward first. Or did he? I couldn't be sure…but the next thing I knew, I was leaning forward and giving in.

One minute he was talking, spouting wonderful things about my happiness and then the next…our lips were drawn together like magnets. When they finally came together, there was that same satisfying feeling of getting them to finally touch. There was no more of that silly feeling of trying to push them together and not being able to make them fit. This time…we were like magnets. We clicked. Our lips met in what I could only describe as the most perfect kiss that had ever happened to an eighteen-year-old girl.

Pleasant sparks of something…was it electricity? Was it shock? I wasn't sure…but something happened to me when his lips touched mine. It didn't just feel like a normal kiss. We connected. My eyes fluttered shut as I let myself go to him.

Where the first kiss ended, the second kiss—initiated by Seth—began. He pressed his lips to mine again, and the overwhelming feeling of relief surged through me. He felt as amazing as I hoped he would be. I could feel his slightly chapped lips against mine, and the tiny bit of stubble on his upper lip that I had never noticed. My stomach churned, but in a good way. My body felt like rejoicing and my lips felt like they were home.

I was kissing Seth Clearwater.

His bottom lip moved against my mouth, bringing me back into the moment. He kissed me again, and I could feel that he didn't want it to end as much as I did. My hand that was around his shoulders as I sat on his lap subconsciously pulled him even closer. I wanted more.

Greed was a good thing in this case.

Seth kissed me again…and again…he was enjoying this. Was he enjoying it as much as I was? It was innocent and sweet; he didn't try to instantly French me like most boys did. He seemed as happy as I did to savor the moment.

We broke apart all too soon, but I could tell we both needed a breath of air. Our eyes opened at the same time, and he was all I could see.

Seth exhaled, blowing his warm breath on my face. His scent was so inviting and delicious that I wanted more. I wanted to kiss him again.

I stared at him as I began to blush. I wasn't sure what the protocol was here; I had never kissed my older, hotter, and very unavailable best friend before.

"Uh…" he stammered, his jaw dropping open slightly.

"My words exactly," I mumbled back. He stared at me, as if he was in a trance.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I whispered, still wonderstruck. I will forever remember his next words.

"How could I not?" he whispered back, still slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

I smiled shyly, my blush deepening. "I'm a loser. I can't believe I just did that," I admitted, biting my lip and looking down at my lap. Seth exhaled again, and we were both silent for a few seconds.

"You're not," he said, still looking rather dopey. "You're—god, you're just like…the most beautiful girl in the world, Regan. I…" he trailed off, running his hand that wasn't around my waist through his hair. I was still sitting on his lap outside the tent, even though I felt a million miles away – a million miles away with Seth…on our own little planet.

"That shouldn't have happened," I admitted sadly.

He shook his head. "No…it shouldn't have," he agreed slowly. Looking back at me, our faces were inches apart.

"Seth?"

"Hmm?"

"I…I liked it."

"What?" he murmured.

"Don't make me say it again," I mumbled, lowering my chin. I stared at my shoes, listening to the slow song playing inside the tent. Yes, we certainly did feel a million miles away. I looked up at him again, only to see him still staring.

"I feel like…I'm dreaming or something." This time it was his turn to mumble. I nodded, still in a slight daze. We had kissed. We had actually kissed.

"Wow," he said under his breath. His hand tightened around me as he stared straight ahead into the darkness, his eyes glossy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. He nodded, looking back at me.

"It's okay."

"Really?" I asked with hope. He nodded shyly.

"Friends aren't supposed to kiss…not like that," I admitted sheepishly, pressing my lips together.

How wonderful it was to finally know what it felt like to do that. Without thinking, I reached my hand up and touched my lips. They still felt warm from his.

Then, he said something I didn't expect.

"Regan?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I just…would you, ah…screw it," he finally muttered, and used his free hand to gently grab my chin. Tilting my head to his, he let his lips crash against mine a second time that night. He was firmer this time—like he meant it. It felt like…he was doing it for the last time.

He pulled away from me like an alcoholic would his last sip from the bottle. It felt like his lips tore away from mine, opening a gash in my chest. It felt wrong to not have my mouth against his, kissing him.

I breathed deeply, still trying to catch my breath as he turned away. I slumped over onto his shoulder, the chilly, night air finally getting to me. He was warm, as he always was, and I needed to be near him in that movement. It felt intimate and personal, but…right.

We stayed there for a second, both of our hearts beating furiously as our breathing returned to normal. Each kiss had been slow and even somewhat chaste; however, I could tell that we were both a little excited…and freaked about what we had done.

Sitting up, I looked at him carefully, trying to gauge his reaction. He was silent.

"Say something," I half squeaked, half pleaded.

Turning his head, he looked at me again. "I…I don't know what to say."

I hung my head hearing his words. Had I done something wrong? Pressing my lips together, I stared at him. He didn't look angry or upset, just utterly confused.

There was a loud noise inside the doorway, like people being rowdy. We both jumped and stood up, leaping apart just as some of his older friends came outside.

"Great party," his friend, Paul, howled, hanging on his friend, Jared, who just shook his head and grinned.

"See you later, bro. We're gonna get Paul and his drunky-drunk wife home so that they can continue the party," Jared laughed.

Seth waved at them, and I tried to ignore their stares as they made their way to the parking lot. He turned back to me when they were gone, his face still blank.

I stared at him, watching his expression carefully for any sign of an emotion besides shock.

"I'm…I'm s-sorry," I stuttered finally, my voice breaking the silence. Seth gaped at me for a second before racing to standing front of me.

"No…no, no," he said softly. "Don't be. I, um…" He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up in his frustration. I watched as he turned away from me, obviously debating with himself.

"Say it, Seth. Whatever you're thinking, just…just say it."

He turned back around slowly, his face drawn and worried. "I'm going to sound…so wrong."

"What's wrong about it?"

"So many things, but…Regan…"

"Yes?" I asked. He took my hands in his, and I could feel both pairs trembling. I felt like a shaky leaf about to fall. The only thing holding me up was him.

Suddenly, the flap of the tent flew open and out raced Claire. "There you are!" she shrieked through her tears. Quil flew out behind her, looking as distressed as I had ever seen him around her.

"Claire? What's– "

"I'm leaving! I'm getting away from…from you!" she spat at Quil. Seth turned, grabbing his friend by the arm.

"If you would only let me explain, Claire. I–"

"No! I've explained myself to you countless times and this is what I get? It's bullshit, Quil, and you know it!" she cried, a fresh set of tears pouring out of her eyes. She threw herself against me, crying into my shoulder.

"Shhh, shhh, Claire…it's okay," I said, holding my friend against me. I met Seth's gaze over her shoulder, and he looked as shocked as I was. His mouth was hanging open with the words he didn't get to say. "It's all going to be okay," I finished, still staring at him.

Quil was still shouting for Claire, and by that time more of Seth's friends had come outside with the commotion. I turned away, shielding her from their eyes as they tried to calm Quil down and take him inside the tent and away from her.

"You can't do this angry, Quil," Seth said, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders.

"So what am I supposed to do? I have to— Shit!" Quil practically shouted back at him. Seth gave me one last longing look, and I was left alone with Claire; my mind still reeling.

What was he about to say?


	34. Chapter 34

Seth

For the record…everyone was wrong.

Realizing I was in love…like in love, love with Regan was not a slow progression.

It didn't come slowly like spring did to Forks. My feelings didn't evolve from something else. It didn't creep into my heart bit by bit, making me somewhat aware of what was going on.

No. It hit me like a wrecking ball.

I stood against the bar, watching Regan as she stood across the room. Claire was still freaking out after fighting with Quil, and Lexi was standing there trying to calm her down. Regan stood beside them, still looking as dazed as I had felt after what had happened outside.

We had kissed. I wasn't even sure who had kissed who. All I knew was that it happened, and strangely…I hadn't minded it. In fact…it had been really fucking great.

What had started off as a slightly strange kiss between two best friends had ended as something completely different. Somehow…feeling her lips against mine, her breath on my cheek, and her arm around my neck had changed something within me. I could suddenly appreciate Regan for the woman she was slowly transitioning to. I felt like a blind man allowed to finally see. I could only compare it to watching films in black and white and then suddenly in color; everything looked, well…better.

"What's got you looking all gooney-eyed?"

I looked over at Brady who had just walked up to the bar where I stood. He leaned against it while he waited for his drink, casting me his typical snarky looking glare. I blinked, letting his comment roll off my shoulders.

"Nothing," I muttered, taking a sip of my water. Even though I knew the drinks I had earlier in the night wouldn't get me drunk by a long shot, I still felt like I needed to sober up.

I stared across the still bustling dance floor at my sister's wedding. Regan rubbed her hand on Claire's shoulder; her sympathetic, jeweled eyes reflecting how sorry she probably was for Claire. Claire and Quil never had real fights; they were always stupid 'quit calling me Claire-bear' type of fights. I wasn't sure what they were fighting about now, but whatever it was had Regan shook up. As if she knew I was thinking about her, her eyes flashed up to meet mine across the dance floor. A look of sheer terror crossed her face as our eyes locked onto one another. Before I could wave or smile like the jackass I was…she looked away.

Wait…had that just been a weird moment? Fuck.

"Hey," I heard a familiar voice. I turned around, a smile instantly appearing on my face.

"Hey you. I was afraid I wasn't going to get to say goodbye. Brazil, is it?"

Leah smiled, giving me a cocky grin. "Close, little brother. Carlisle offered up Isle Esme for a whole ten days, so who was I to pass that up?"

"Nice," I chuckled, taking a sip of my water. I had always secretly wanted to visit Isle Esme; the pictures of it from Jake's mind were always insanely beautiful.

"Besides…I can't wait to get into that house and get my wolf-stink all over it," she laughed, bursting into giggles. I gave her a hug; my heart relieved and full of happiness to see my sister with such a big smile on her face. For once her smile rivaled mine; and for Leah, that was huge.

"It's good to see you like this. Scotty better keep that smile on your face," I said, releasing her from our bear hug. She grinned again, glancing over at her new husband.

"He knows. But what about you? A certain imprint of yours is looking astoundingly gorgeous tonight. And you're welcome."

"Thanks, Leah…for having her in your wedding," I chuckled. I glanced at Regan again, unable to stop the goon-ish smile that appeared on my face. I focused on her lips, remembering how they felt pressed against mine—so soft and sweet.

"Earth to Seth. What's gotten into you?"

I laughed nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. "Nothing, nothing…I just…never mind. It's a long story."

Leah looked at Regan, who was glancing back at me and chewing on her lip. I smiled tentatively at her, and she gave me a tiny wave from across the tent.

Leah's fist connected with my arm. "Ow!" I howled, earning a few looks from people nearby.

"You guys kissed," Leah hissed a little too knowingly. The deer-in-headlights look on my face instantly gave me away.

"What?" I tried to act coy. Her eyes grew wider.

"Oh my god!" Leah hissed, grabbing my arm. I cringed, waiting for the upcoming onslaught of 'sickos' and 'old, perverted mans' that were surely coming my way from her mouth. She pulled me to the side, her expression shocked.

I watched as Leah's eyes darted across the room to Regan and then back to me.

"Seth…"

I threw up my hands. "Look, Leah, I swear…it…I…it was just an accident."

"I'm so happy for you," she said, throwing her arms around my neck. I gaped at the tent wall for a second, completely aghast.

"W-what did you just say?"

"I'm totally happy for you," she whispered, her eyes tearing up. She looked at Regan again, who was sitting at a table with Claire and Lexi, and then back at me.

"You're happy for me?"

"Of course I am Seth. I'm so…so happy for you. I can't believe…she….oh, this is perfect. I knew this would happen, but I…"

"Could you finish a sentence please? I'm already freaking out as it is."

"She loves you, doesn't she?" Leah asked, putting her hands on my cheeks. I stared down at her for a second before shrugging her off. "I knew she would, Seth…I just knew it."

"Why are you suddenly all sappy?"

Leah laughed, wiping the tear out of her eye. "Why am I a sap? My little brother finally kisses his imprint that I love on my wedding day, and I'm a freaking sap?"

I laughed awkwardly, giving her a shrug. "So wait…y-you don't think I'm like…gross?"

Leah laughed. "Why is it gross?"

"I dunno…cuz I'm all…old, and…she's….not."

Leah embraced me again tightly, and I squirmed a bit. I wasn't used to my sister being so…happily out of character.

She pulled away, looking at me with a huge smile. "No…no, Seth…you're…you're perfect. And so is she. Us wolves…we freeze at like…twenty-three? I don't know. You look twenty-two or twenty-three. And she's eighteen. She's a big girl now. Seth, Regan's so…she's so different from the girl that first came here. She's has changed from the girl I met last year at Thanksgiving when I got off that plane. Seth, she's…she's growing up. Finally…finally, she's growing up."

I gaped at my sister, standing there in her wedding dress and smiling so widely at me. I couldn't believe my ears. She was happy…no, ecstatic for me.

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be?" Leah countered back, swaying happily side to side. She glanced back at Regan, then at me.

"You're okay with this?"

She nodded, her pink cheeks shining with a few happy tears. Needless to say, this was not the reaction I had been expecting by a long shot. At all.

"You're going to get your happy ending."

"Let's not count our chickens, Farmer Joe."

Leah giggled, clapping her hands together excitedly. "I love that you're…going to be as happy as I am. Because I am. And you will be too. This is big, Seth. Big."

"I just…whatever," I shrugged. "Have fun on your honeymoon."

"You know I will. You have fun here," she replied, giving me a knowing waggle of her eyebrows.

"Sure, right," I muttered. And then Leah grabbed me into another bear hug and whispered in my ear the words I needed to hear in that moment. "It's allowed now, Seth. Loving her is allowed."

I stood in that spot for several minutes after she left, contemplating her words in my stoned-like daze. Was she right? Was loving Regan suddenly allowed? Of course I loved her. I always had. I had loved her from the moment I saw her huddled against the side of Brady's house, reeking of sex and jungle juice and salty tears. But now…I felt like the earth had shifted yet again. The first time it had moved, it had brought me to her. This time when the earth shifted, it made me realize I was in love. In love with my suddenly very legal, very beautiful, best friend of an imprint.

Again, cue that same wrecking ball from earlier.

Soon it was time for Leah and Scott to leave in their limo and depart for their honeymoon. Alice had corralled all the guests at the entrance of the huge tent to throw rose petals and blow bubbles at them as they raced happily out. I watched my sister leave, feeling a familiar pang of envy in my heart. Would I someday be running away from my wedding reception with Regan, hand in hand to embark on our life together?

Baby steps, Clearwater, I told myself.

Swallowing up my fear, I walked up to Regan after Leah had left. "Hey…um…can we talk?"

She looked up at me, her wide eyes showing her surprise. "Uh…" she stuttered. "I'm actually sleeping over at Lexi's house…with Claire tonight. Um….can we do it later?"

I looked at Claire, who was avoiding eye contact with me and hanging on Lexi's arm. Taking a deep breath, I tried to ignore the longing in my chest that was urging me to talk to my imprint.

"Uh…sure, just…whenever. Yeah," I managed to spit out. She nodded; her gaze lingering on mine for a split second.

I nodded, looking away before I did or said something completely stupid in front of her tonight.

When Regan left the reception with Claire and Lexi, I felt like a piece of me was missing. I watched her leave from the parking lot feeling empty and torn. I wanted her next to me; I needed her next to me.

"What is it about an imprint…that makes you feel all the hope in the world…and then all the despair possible…in one night?" Quil's soft voice broke through my thoughts. The last few crickets that were still alive in the fall night chirped around us. It was getting cold; winter was approaching yet again. However, I still felt warmer than even usual.

I looked at him in the dark parking lot of the reception, jamming my hands into my pockets.

"Who knows?" I muttered. "What…what happened with you and Claire tonight?"

Quil stared at the taillights of Lexi's car as she pulled away with both of our imprints. "She's getting older…and things can't ever stay the same," he said quietly, his usually happy, brown eyes sad.

As I drove home that night, I wondered; how would things change for Regan and me? Surely they would. I mean, we had kissed—really kissed. What would that mean for us?

There was no handbook on how to handle a changing relationship with an imprint. They didn't exactly have a section for that at Borders.

I stayed out all night that night. I ran the loop around La Push and Forks, checking on Regan as she slept over at Lexi's house several times. I never did fall asleep. I was too…alive with change. Every time I curled up to try and find some sleep, all I could think about was her. Not that I minded thinking about Regan all night, but I knew I needed to sleep. Common sense told me that. But all I could really think about was how I could suddenly see her…and I mean, see her. She was still my best friend and one of the most beautiful girls my eyes had seen…but now she was…different.

I closed my eyes, curling my nose into my front paws. The warm breath from my snout warmed my toes, calming me as I thought about my imprint and what tonight meant.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Two weeks.

Two awkward, lonely, horrible weeks had passed.

I slumped in my chair at the dinner table, feeling too awkward to even attempt to make the usual, constant strand of drabble that normally poured from my mouth.

Regan pushed a piece of broccoli around her plate with a blatant lack of enthusiasm, and I pretended not to notice. This was the second time in two weeks I had been to my mother's house, but it wasn't for a lack of trying.

Regan was avoiding me.

I swallowed a gulp of iced tea, shifting in my chair. The linoleum beneath it creaked as Charlie looked up over his glasses.

"Regan, what did you do in school today?"

She raised a dark eyebrow at him.

"Humor me," he muttered, giving her a pointed look. My mom smirked but said nothing. She had no idea what happened the night of my sister's wedding, but…I think she had an idea that something was changing between my imprint and me.

"Just, um…normal…twelfth grade stuff, I suppose," she said quietly. She squirmed in her seat, avoiding my eyes. It had been a long two weeks of missed phone calls, awkward run-ins, and longing looks.

After the wedding, she had been preoccupied with Claire for a few days. She and Quil were having the worst fight ever—over what, I wasn't quite sure. Quil was avoiding me too. Whatever had happened between him and Claire, he wasn't ready to discuss it with any of us yet. When he patrolled, his thoughts were guarded and quiet. I knew I was being a bad friend by not offering a friendly ear to him, but I had my own problems. My imprint and I had kissed, and now…now she wasn't even speaking to me—hell, she wouldn't even look at me. I had given her some space after the wedding to help her friend, and then, before I knew it, two days had passed and not a peep from her. On the night of the third day, I went to Charlie's house during my patrol and she was crying in her room with the lights off. Meanwhile, every time I closed my eyes I had dreams about my newer, older imprint.

To sum things up…I was feeling less and less like a creep for thinking Regan was the most beautiful things I had ever laid eyes on, and she wouldn't even acknowledge that I was in the room.

"Game on after dinner. You sticking around to watch?" Charlie mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. My mom looked up at me hopefully, and I looked at Regan. Her green eyes flashed up to mine, then away quickly.

I swallowed, looking up at Charlie. "Nah, uh…I think I should head home. I need to, um…do some laundry."

Charlie dropped his fork while my mom kicked me under the table. I tossed them both a dark look, and Regan looked like she wanted to be swallowed up by the floor.

After we finished our awkward meal, I took my time helping my mom clean up. Regan watched TV with Charlie for a bit before I heard her stand up. I pecked my surprised mother on the cheek and raced to time my exit just right.

Bingo.

I grabbed Regan's arm just as she began up the steps. She jumped; her eyes wide as they looked at first my hand on her arm, then at me.

"Hey…can we talk now?"

She gave me another wide-eyed look. "Now?"

I looked into the living room where my mom was curling into Charlie's side on the couch. He looked utterly distracted, but I knew I shouldn't risk it.

"Tomorrow?" I asked, loosening my grip on her. I watched her dark hair fall into her face, and I wanted to brush it off of her pink cheeks with my fingertips. But…I held myself back.

"Um…" she dipped her head, turning even brighter pink. "Sure, yeah…I guess."

I looked up at her hopefully, and she gave me a weak smile. "Tomorrow then."

I breathed a sigh of relief, pausing for a moment. "I can't take this, Reg. This…whatever it is. It can't be like this," I finally spat out.

She smiled sadly, touching my arm as she walked up the stairs. "Tomorrow," she repeated.

I nodded, shrugging into my coat. I waved goodbye to Sue and Charlie before heading home to my empty house. I closed the front door to the Cullen house and leaned against it for a second. It was so quiet that the silence seemed endless.

I picked Regan up the next afternoon, and she hopped into my truck with at least some enthusiasm. I could feel her nervousness, but she seemed genuinely happy to see me again.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Sure," she shrugged, looking over at me. I had to remind myself to look at the road.

"Ice cream?"

"It's cold out."

"So no ice cream?"

"I never said that."

"Ice cream it is," I chuckled.

We drove to the Ice Cream Shack in the center of town, just off the square. It was a Sunday in late November, so naturally the place was dead. We got our selections and took them out the back of the shack to the picnic benches. It was an unseasonably warm day for early winter, and I was glad. In my current mood, the last place I wanted to be was cooped up inside.

Regan spied my vanilla ice cream covered in sprinkles. "You would," she muttered; the sides of her mouth turning upwards into a small smile. She licked her own mint chocolate chip, and I smiled.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, and finally she looked up at me. "So…are we just never going to talk about what happened at Leah's wedding?"

I stopped eating, looking across the picnic table at her. "Do you want to?"

She nodded. "I just want…things to be normal again. I miss you," she added quietly, averting her eyes.

"You don't have to miss me. I'm right here," I said, reaching across the table. I placed my hand on hers, and she immediately glanced down at it. I could feel her tense up.

"Is this how it's going to be now every time I touch you?"

"I don't want it to be," she admitted softly, tears forming in her eyes. "But what do we do now?"

"What do you want to do?" I asked, my tone bordering on desperate.

She was silent. "I just…" A lone tear slid down her cheek. "I don't want to lose my best friend."

I was around the bench in a flash to sit beside her. "Regan…I told you…you'll never lose me. What else do I have to do to prove that to you?"

"Nothing, nothing…I just…" she wiped her tears away, still avoiding my ears.

"Tell me," I demanded as softly as my voice would allow. My heart pounded against my chest as I waited for her words. She fiddled with the side of her ice cream container, still avoiding my gaze.

"I don't want to have things be all…weird."

"Nothing is weird, Regan. Trust me…it's the opposite."

"So I didn't screw everything up by kissing my best friend?"

"No. In fact…in fact, I think you made things better."

"I hate seeing you like this."

I laughed. "Like what?"

"You just seem…sadder. Like a kicked puppy."

"You have no idea," I muttered. She looked up at me, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Would I sound crazy if I told you…that I could tell you're sad? I feel like…I can sense it or something."

"No…it's no crazy. In fact…you'd be surprised how completely un-crazy it sounds."

I thought of the imprint bond that connected us. I knew from talking to Emily Uley that she could feel Sam's moods and feelings sometimes if they were extreme enough. She had explained to me in my first days as a wolf how an imprint worked, and I had never forgotten what she told me. It wasn't strange at all that Regan knew I was sad.

"I'm sorry I did that…at Leah's wedding. That was…wrong of me."

I looked over at her, giving her a quizzical look. She had kissed me? That wasn't my memory of that night. In reality, it felt like I had kissed her…or maybe she had kissed me…or maybe we had just been drawn together by the sheer cosmic force of our imprinting finally kicking our asses into gear. Whatever it was, it surely wasn't all her doing.

"I think the champagne just got to me…and that's no excuse, I know. But…I'm really sorry, Seth."

I shook my head, leaning forward on my knees as we sat on the picnic table. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Then why are you so sad?" she demanded. "I can feel it."

I was quiet for a moment as I debated what to tell her. Do I tell her now? She was eighteen and an adult. She could make her own decisions. But what would I tell her?

"You are upset about something. And I think I know what it is," she said sadly.

"You do?" I asked, looking over at her.

She nodded, setting her cup of ice cream down on the other side of the bench. "Is it…girl problems?"

I laughed darkly. "You have no idea."

"I feel terrible," she groaned, leaning forward to mimic my stance. She covered her face with her hands, leaning on her knees. "I can't believe I did that at the wedding."

"I told you…it's alright," I said firmly. What was she getting at?

"No, it's not, Seth. Don't you see? I ruined everything."

"I promise you, you didn't," I said softly. I looked over, and she still had her face buried in her hands. I watched as her small fingers wove through her dark, wavy hair that was cascading around her shoulders. Her pale, perfect skin shone even in the cloudy, mid-afternoon light. When she looked up, all I could see was the way her eyelashes went out for miles, framing her large, orb-like green eyes. Her lips looked soft and pink, and I could smell the cherry ChapStick she always used on them.

She had always been pretty, but when did she get to be so utterly beautiful? So gorgeous that it almost hurt to look at her? I wouldn't have pried my eyes away from her side profile in that moment if you paid me a million dollars an hour for the rest of my life.

"I feel like I've ruined everything."

"How so?"

"Well…" she began, sitting up straighter. "I kissed my best friend. And now things are, well…weird," she said, rolling her eyes awkwardly. "And I've managed to not only screw up our friendship, but your love life as well."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking over at her again.

"Seth…you're my best friend, and I want you to…have everything. It's selfish of me not to."

"And?"

She was quiet for another moment, kicking at the ground with her boot. "Now you're having girl problems, and I feel like it's entirely my fault. How can you be available for someone if your…stupid little friend is throwing herself at you? I just feel like I put you in a weird spot for…for someone else."

I was quiet. Did she really think there was someone else? She couldn't. I waited for her to finish.

"If you're having girl problems…I'm sorry. I don't want that for you, Seth. Just…just be yourself, you know? Just be you. That's enough. That should be enough for any girl."

"Any girl, huh?" I asked sarcastically, leaning back on the bench. She nodded.

"Any girl would be lucky to have you," she said quietly, looking back at the ground. "I think just about any girl would fall in love with you. You wouldn't even have to do anything really."

"Is that so?" I heard myself whisper.

She looked over at me, giving me the most heartbreaking stare. "Yes, it is."

I was quiet for another few minutes, just staring out at the town square. It was deserted today, but that was okay. I already felt like we were the only two people on the planet. My imprint was talking about how easy I was to fall in love with—I could have let her talk all day.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked, looking over at me. I shook my head.

"I thought you were upset with me, actually. I didn't think it, I was convinced. You acted like I was the black plague."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say."

"Neither did I. I thought you didn't want to talk to me."

"What could I say?" she questioned, looking up at me with her eyes—those big, bright green eyes that could make me go slack-jawed…what was it about her that was suddenly so much more…appealing?

I swallowed; my mouth feeling like sandpaper as I tried to speak.

"I would have taken anything frankly."

She sighed, kicking at the ground again with her boot. "Are we fighting?"

I shook my head. "There's nothing to fight about. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is fight with you."

"What do you want to do?"

I paused, looking at her closely. I could feel the tug at the base of my spine, urging me forward. Regan stared up at me as she sat; her leg against mine on the picnic table. The late fall breeze blew her hair around her face, sending waves of her alluring cherry almond scent towards me. She blinked, her lashes brushing against her cheeks as she watched me.

"Kiss you again," I said, my voice firm and confident.

Her eyes got wider for a second before she realized I was serious. I didn't want to resist her anymore.

Leaning forward, I let my hand cup her cheek as I bent down slightly and pressed my lips against hers. They were so soft and…so perfect. She squeaked in surprise, and I felt her body stiffen slightly. I let my mouth linger on hers for a few too-short seconds, letting myself enjoy the feeling of kissing her.

Kissing Regan. I was actually kissing Regan.

As I pulled away, the look on her face as her eyes slowly opened was…surprise.

"Um…" she mumbled, looking down at the ground. She touched her mouth again, as if she couldn't believe what just happened.

"I'm…I'm sorry," I muttered. I looked at her sideways, my stomach doing nervous flops. "Can I ask you something?"

"Er…shoot."

I licked my lips, still able to taste her. "Is…kissing me weird…for…for you?"

She avoided my gaze, biting her lip. "It's…no, not weird. Weird is definitely not the word I would use."

I smiled, even though the silence between us was tangible.

"What now?" she asked.

I looked at her as it began to drizzle. I could see the tiny flecks of rain as they blew in her face as I tried to memorize this moment.

"I think I should probably get you home…it's raining," I replied. She sighed, nodding at me. Her green eyes lingered on mine for a second, and I gave her my best reassuring smile. I tried to stay calm even though I felt like there were fireworks going off in my chest.

"You're still my best friend," I said softly. She stood up, pulling her coat tighter around her.

"You're still my best friend too…but Seth?"

"Hmmm?"

She grinned to herself, an almost secret smile. "I don't kiss my friends like that."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I think I was in a daze for a week after that day. My newly changing thoughts of Regan consumed every corner of my brain, making it hard to think of anything else. When I was at work, at home, in the car, on patrols—everywhere—something reminded me of my beautiful imprint. Things were finally going my way, and I was on cloud nine.

I was so happy later that week that I almost didn't notice Quil phasing in for his patrol shift. Normally he patrolled during the day while Claire was at school, but I noticed that he was taking the graveyard shift with Embry, which was weird for him.

What are you doing out here? This isn't your normal time slot, I noticed.

I can't sleep anyway. Might as well, he muttered.

I stopped in front of him, my paws sinking into the muddy ground. What's wrong with you? Why so down?

Quil looked back at me, blinking his sad eyes. Claire is upset with me.

Why?

You wouldn't understand, he muttered.

Quil man, come on, you gotta talk about it.

I jumped back as he whipped around and let a ferocious snarl rip from his throat. No, you don't get it. My imprint is in on the secret, man…yours isn't. So don't tell me how it is, and how I need to talk about anything.

I reeled back, shocked. I had never seen Quil this angry. He had told her? He had actually told Claire he imprinted on her after all these years?

Yeah. And she's pissed. Go figure.

Why?

None of your god damn business, that's why. Leave me alone, Clearwater. I just want to be left alone.

As much as it pained me, I did just that. I left him alone. Not only could I see and hear his pain, but I could feel it. He was such a good friend and had been for so long that I could somehow feel his hurt. Whatever Claire had said to him had nearly broken him in two, and my heart ached for him. I hoped that whatever was bothering her, she would be able to get over it soon. Her anger was clearly killing him.

Wait, he called out in his mind to me. I stopped, turning around expectantly. He trotted up to me, skidding to a halt.

Do you know where they are tonight? Claire and Regan?

Just at her house, I answered back. Quil thought a moment, his mind a confused blur. Then he darted off in the direction of his imprint's house. I knew Regan was there with her, just having some girl time.

I have to see her, Quil thought to himself as I followed behind. We ran the back pathway towards Claire's house, barely able to skid to a stop at the tree line of her backyard. I could hear his mind. It was a breathless blur of questions and thoughts of Claire and whatever it was they were going through. I wanted to help him, say something—anything—to him to make him feel better, but I realized that the only thing that would make him feel better was to see her.

The front door slammed, and Claire came flying out. Regan followed behind her, her eyes wide and her hands up in the air.

"Why are we doing this again?" she asked, letting them flop to her sides. Claire spun around on the brick sidewalk in front of her house, eyeing her.

"Because…I'm not going to sit around and wait for him anymore, Regan. If he wants to—ulgh, no, I'm just…just get in the car. We're going."

"Claire, trust me…this isn't….just don't. This isn't going to fix anything. If anyone would know that, it would be me.

"Are you coming or not?" Claire snapped, yanking her car door open.

Where on earth…? Quil thought to himself. He looked at me, and I did the best wolf-shrug I could.

"I'm not letting you go alone, so yes."

"Then get in."

Claire's car door slammed shut and soon she was speeding off. Quil's mind had one thought: Follow them.

We raced through the trees, Quil nearly frantic to keep Claire in his sight as we tried to stay under cover. It was dark now, but we still had to be extremely careful, especially in Forks. We tore through the damp ferns, twisting and turning as we followed her speedy, little car. When she finally pulled up to a booming house, we stopped as close as we could. The trees gave us cover, but I would have preferred to be closer. Claire got out of the car, storming inside to what was clearly a huge party full of high school kids.

"Claire…Claire, this isn't good…just…" Regan stuttered, following behind her friend. Claire was clearly on a rampage, and nothing could stop her.

Quil's heart raced as he watched Claire go into the house from across the street. I waited patiently, my ears straining to hear what was going on inside. It was obviously a party, and a lot of the people there were rather surprised to see Claire. The music was loud, but I could still pick up bits and pieces of the conversations going on inside.

I winced as I heard someone offer Claire a shot. There was a bit of silence in the room before it erupted into cheers.

She did it. She drank. Claire actually drank, Quil thought with a grimace. His mind was flooded with images as he tried to imagine his Claire actually drinking…but he couldn't do it. He idolized her too much.

Do you think maybe that's the problem? You think too highly of her? She can't live up to you placing her on a pedestal, I reminded him gently.

Back off, he snarled, and I nearly jumped out of my tan fur. Quil had never snapped at me like he had been lately; I only wanted to help.

Sorry, I said quickly. His lip was curled up over his teeth, and I could feel his pain as it was laced with his disappointment – in himself.

This isn't your fault. She's obviously proving something.

I'm going to get your car. Watch her til I get back, he ordered.

But—

She's not driving. She's been drinking…I'm pissed as hell, but she's not driving. Just stay here and guard them.

I could tell he was in no mood to argue. I stayed put, watching from the bushes. I cringed as I watched Claire shove a shot at Regan, who refused it. I knew this wasn't good for my imprint—old habits die hard. Claire laughed and flirted, shamelessly carrying on like she didn't have a care in the world. She was hanging on a guy I recognized from a few years ago. I think he had graduated from Forks High. From what I could tell, a few graduates from a few years before were home for fall break from college and this party was their doing. By the time Quil returned, the party was in full swing, and Claire had already downed at least nine shots of what looked like tequila.

He pulled up in my Bronco, jumping out in shorts and a t-shirt. Walking into the woods where I was standing, he glanced out across the street at the noisy house.

"We're going to get her," he stated simply, his face drawn and emotionless. I pulled on my clothes after phasing back, and the two of us left the woods. I followed him across the street, afraid of what would happen. I had never seen Quil this angry, and I wasn't sure what he was going to do. He stalked across the street, his eyes like fire. Throwing open the door, we were both greeted with the shocked, somewhat panicky looking faces of everyone around us. Kids parted like the Red Sea as he stormed through the house to where I could hear Claire in the kitchen. She looked up as soon as he appeared in the doorway, her face dark. She was holding onto the kitchen counter as she scowled at Quil, her other arm wrapped around someone who was in this moment a very unlucky boy.

He tried to loosen his grip on her, edging away, but Quil had already seen it. "Out of my way," he glowered, stepping in between them. His unlucky victim was happy to oblige.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed.

He said nothing, simply grabbing her hand. She stumbled drunkenly; her black hair swinging as she fell forward. He said nothing; he merely grabbed her behind her knees and scooped her up. Regan was still too shocked to speak. She could only look at me with wide eyes as I stood in the middle of the party in tatty shorts and a t-shirt. People stared at us, their jaws on the floor and their eyes huge, but I paid them no mind. All I cared about was getting both girls out of there and home safely without Quil losing his damn mind and phasing.

"Seth…"

"Come on," I urged, grabbing her hand. She blushed, her cheeks turning a deep shade of red as Quil and I escorted them both outside. Once the cold air hit Claire's face, she sobered up a bit.

"Caveman much? Jesus, Quil," she mumbled drunkenly, rolling her eyes. He said nothing, dropping gently to her feet once we were at the Bronco. Regan stood behind me, peeking around to see what Quil was going to do. His face was purple with rage by now, and his anger was tangible in the chilly, night air.

"What were you thinking?" he asked, grasping her shoulders in his hands. I thought he was going to yell and scream, but he didn't. Instead, his voice was low and calm as he spoke to a swaying Claire.

"This isn't you, Claire. You're not this girl. Why are doing this to me? You know you're killing me. It kills me to see you like this."

"So much for s'considering…my feelings…" she slurred, scowling up at him. He sighed heavily, and I could feel Regan inching closer to me. When she was close enough, I took her hand in mine without even looking. We stared at them from a few feet away, both debating what to do. Do we leave them to argue? I didn't trust this situation one bit—a drunk, mouthy Claire, and a tortured, frustrated werewolf did not make for a happy evening.

"This isn't what I hoped for when you got older, Claire. You can be so much more than this girl you are right now. I never thought you would do this sort of thing."

She looked up, her brown eyes wild. "Expectation is the root of all heartache, zwhat can I shay," she slurred some more. Quil punch the side of my Bronco, effectively denting it. Regan jumped, retreating behind me a bit. She gripped my hand tightly, and I could feel her heart racing.

"Dammit, Claire! I'm trying with this…okay? This isn't easy for me either!"

She looked up, her gaze still dark. "Go to hell," she spat. "You just go to hell, Quil Ateara. If you think that's how things are gonna be…just go," she said, shoving him away from her. He obeyed, backing away with a look of pure shock.

He stared at her for a moment; no sound but the music coming from the nearby house. She looked away, glaring down at the pavement as she fought to keep her eyes open. She was completely shitfaced and reeking of tequila.

Quil turned around for a second, looking back at me. "Take her to your place. Her parents will kill her…and me. I'll pick her up the morning," he stated. Then, he turned and began jogging down the street. Regan stared after him, her mouth open.

"He's just going to leave?"

I sighed, looking at Quil's drunken imprint.

"She can crash in one my guest rooms. Oh, Claire..." I muttered, watching as she leaned in drunken misery on the side of my Bronco. Her knees buckled a few seconds later, and I barely caught her from crashing into the pavement. I helped her inside, propping her against the passenger side window, wincing at her alcohol scented breath. Regan climbed in beside her, and I hopped in last, bringing the engine to life.

Claire groaned as the loud noise woke her up a little, rolling her head to the side.

"Are you going to be okay? I told you this was a bad idea," Regan gently chided her, brushing some hair out of Claire's eyes. Her friend looked up at her, and I felt like an unwanted visitor as I drove them towards my house. I didn't know what was going to happen when I got there. This wasn't exactly how I planned my evening.

"Will you please finally tell me why you're pissed as hell at Quil? He's your best friend, Claire, and you're torturing him," Regan insisted.

Claire sniffed. "Things are not like they seem, Regan, and we're stupid if we think that they are."

"English, please?"

But Claire had already passed out again. I stared at the road, feeling the tires moving beneath me and watching the center lines blurring as I drove. Heaving a sigh, Regan turned to me.

"What are we going to do?"

I shrugged to her as we pulled into my driveway, winding all the way up to the Cullen house. We got out, and I lifted my best friend's imprint out of the car bridal style and kicked the Bronco door shut with the heel of my work boot before striding inside the house. I stood in the living room, unsure of what to do with her.

"Put her on the couch," Regan suggested sadly, and I obeyed her. I placed Claire as gently as I could on the white sofa, silently willing her not to throw up all over it. It was then that I heard a quiet sniffle.

My eyes shot up to see Regan standing beside the couch, wiping a lone tear off her cheek.

"Are you crying?" I gasped. She shook her head 'no' but I could see that the answer was clearly 'yes'.

I crossed the short distance to her as my chest began to ache. I realized as I took her into my arms that I didn't even have to know why she was hurting; I simply knew that she was.

"No, don't cry. Seth can't handle two, crying girls in one night. You're gonna kill me, you know?" I asked, hugging her against me. She wrapped her arms around my middle, pressing her head against my chest and hugging me tightly against her.

"Why were you crying?" I asked after a couple moments passed.

"Just…Claire. Tonight…brought up some bad memories…that's all."

"Really?"

She nodded, pulling her head up to look at me. "I don't ever want to be that again."

I nodded, understanding. She had come a long way in the little over a year she had been in Forks. She was no longer the damaged, hurt, little girl with a knack for trouble that she had been when she had first arrived. Instead, she had become an astoundingly beautiful, kind, and absolutely perfect woman. Granted she was still young, but she was in fact, a woman. My stomach turned with a few butterflies as I realized once again that Regan had grown up.

She was now an adult, and somehow…as strange as it was…the feelings I had for her were no longer wrong. I didn't deserve to be thrown behind bars for thinking her ass looked nice. But I knew I had to bide my time and be patient. The only thing I could do was be there for her when she was ready to love me like I loved her. It was still a 'friendship' kind of love, but it was also something different now, I realized. It felt like friendship love set on fire – real, tangible, burning love and devotion was what I now felt for this girl.

My eyes dropped momentarily to hers as her head leaned backwards slightly, and I caught her green-eyed gaze that made my breath hitch. She was beautiful, even with her slightly messy curls, smeared eyeliner, and puffy cheeks from crying. I hated it when she cried. I still would have stepped in front of a bus for the girl, but I would have to be patient. It didn't seem fair really. All I wanted to do was love her so hard it made my chest feel like it would explode from warmth and devotion for her. Nothing was fair anymore.

She stared up at me, sniffing once more. "You never have to be that again," I reminded her, wiping the last tear off her cheek.

She nodded, glancing over at Claire who was passed out cold on the white couch. "Can you call Sue? I think I should…maybe stay here…tonight."

I gulped. Regan…stay at my house? The thought appealed to me greatly. But how would that look? My mother would have a field day I knew it, but I had to at least try.

"I can't leave her," Regan explained, gesturing back to her. "Please?"

"Sure, yeah…I'll…I'll call her and let her know," I managed to stutter, releasing her from my grasp. My heart slammed against my chest as I made my way to the phone. It was after midnight now, and I knew my mom would be waiting up for her to come home. I couldn't take Regan and Claire home to Sue when she was in such bad shape. I knew there would be no hope of getting Claire past Charlie like this, and I couldn't help the fact that I selfishly wanted to keep Regan here with me. The pull to her tightened its grasp. No, she certainly couldn't leave. Not tonight.

My evil imprinted side reared its ugly head at the thought of leaving my defenseless girl somewhere where I wasn't going to be when she was upset. I felt tied to her now; I couldn't leave her if I tried.

"I'm going to go upstairs…" Regan said quietly. I nodded.

"I'll bring Claire up there in a minute. I'll put her in one of the guest rooms." She nodded, and I heard her quietly make her way up to the top floor of the house. I scooped up Claire, carrying her up the steps. Regan's scent hung in the air of my house, taunting me.

Control yourself, I thought bitterly as I tried not to jostle Claire. I walked up to Regan as she stood in the hallway, looking confused.

"Where do you want us?" she asked timidly. I thought I could hear some fear in her voice, but I couldn't be sure. All I could do was stare at her like an idiot.

"Seth?"

"Oh, uhm…why don't I put Claire in this room…and then you can sleep in my room. I'll take the room at the end of the hall," I offered. She nodded, opening the door of the room I gestured to, and I carefully put Claire in Rosalie and Emmett's old bedroom. I really only offered my bedroom because I knew it had the most comfortable bed, and I wanted Regan to be able to sleep well. When I finally walked inside and was met with the image of Regan already lying down on her side, closing her eyes slightly as she snuggled into my pillow…well, let's just say that was the first lapse in my control.

Oh god, she's using my pillow. It's going to smell like her now. I'm never washing that pillow—ulgh, god, I am such a freak…I thought.

I walked into the little sitting room attached to Esme's bedroom suite and dialed Sue and Charlie's number.

"Hello?" Sue asked, somewhat sleepily.

"It's me," I said softly, figuring that Charlie was probably snoozing somewhere nearby. I heard my mom shift slightly, moving to another room.

"What is it, Seth? Is Regan with you?"

"Yeah Mom, she is," I replied quickly. Now, I could just lie to my mother and tell her that Regan and I were watching movies and she fell asleep, and I didn't want to move her…but I knew that Sue Clearwater wasn't even about to buy that load of bullshit. However, I didn't really want to admit that Regan was in my bed, Claire was passed out drunk, and Quil had almost phased at a party full of humans…no, definitely not good.

"When is she coming home? It's getting late, Seth, and–"

"Mom?" I interjected.

"Yes?" There was a long expectant pause.

"Remember how when I was growing up and you always said I was such a good kid, and I never did anything wrong to make you upset?"

"I do…" she answered skeptically.

"Then…can you give me one free pass for all those years of being a good kid?" I asked hopefully, trying to hide the smile from my voice. I heard my mom heave a sigh, and I could practically see all of the probabilities of what was really going on running through her head.

"Mom…" I pleaded gently.

"Seth, that girl is eighteen, but she's still young….remember that. I know about…everything and your situation, but…just be careful."

She mothered me for a few more minutes before I was finally able to hang up the phone and return my attention to Regan. The bedroom was dark, but my eyes could see her perfectly as she lay on her side, still burrowed in my pillow. She looks cold, I thought with concern. She still wore her 'going out' outfit, and it sure didn't look too comfortable. Her eyes were closed as I moved around the room, and I could tell she had fallen asleep.

I peeked in Esme's part of the closet that I usually ignored and was relieved to see that some of the drawers still held a few items that would come in handy for me. My hands scoured the drawers for the softest feeling thing I could find, wanting to make Regan feel as comfortable as possible her first night at my house. I felt like I was on a first date—I was so nervous. What if she didn't like staying here? What if she never wanted to come back? What if she thought this was way out of line? I shook my head as I pulled out pair of dark blue satin pajamas. I already knew that answer to that – it was out of line. Sure, she was eighteen-years-old, but it just…still felt a little bit like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to. Was it from being so careful around her for so long? I couldn't' be sure. The only thing I knew was that I was very, very confused.

I eventually found a tank top that looked like it was supposed to go with the pants that I had selected, but I have to admit I gave up. Neither Leah nor my mom was really 'girly' at all, so I had no clue when it came to things like that. Did they have to wear matching things to bed? I knew that girls sometimes liked their underwear to match, but did this count? I finally gave up and retreated back to the bedroom where she was.

Still asleep. Good. I stripped out of my white shirt, tossing it on the end of the bed along with my jeans. I scooped up a few other clothes that were littered around the floor, tossing them into the chair beside the bed. I quickly threw on a clean yet ratty t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and some old basketball shorts that were worn as well. Placing the pajamas by her side, I gently shook her shoulder. She shivered slightly, her eyes fluttering open—God, she was even beautiful all mussed up and sleepy.

"Seth?" she asked hopefully, looking up. My heart swelled a little to hear my name falling from her lips while she was still in my bed—something about that excited me in places I wasn't sure was right yet.

"Yeah, it's me. Here I found you some pjs," I said quietly, nudging them towards her. Lifting her head, she took them in her hands and accidentally brushed hers against mine. I shuddered in the darkness, trying not to let my body react to her touch. Why did I want her so badly all the sudden? My mind reeled at the possibilities, and I had to steady myself. Baby steps, Seth, baby steps.

"I'll be back. I'm gonna go get you some water," I offered, backing away. I left her in my room with the pajamas, hoping she would change and be more comfortable. I hurried down to the kitchen to grab her a few bottles of water in case she got thirsty in the middle of the night. God, I was such a girl. When I got back up to my bedroom, I knocked on the door before entering.

She had turned on the small, dim lamp beside the bed and she had changed alright—into my white, button down shirt that I had tossed on the chair—Holy Hell.

It hung down almost to her knees, just coming down to her where a dress would. She was buttoning it up the center, but left the top two undone. She is officially trying to kill me, I thought.

Her head jerkily moved up as she put her eyes on my form, standing gawking in the doorway. "Seth?" she asked, turning to face me. I almost came unglued.

She was standing in my bedroom. At night. Wearing my shirt, and little else. And we were alone. Was God just messing with me?

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper. Her green eyes bore into mine, and I struggled to stay with it and not make a complete weirdo jackass of myself like I usually did.

"Uh, yeah sure…" I mumbled. I wasn't even making sense now as I fought against every instinct in my body that wanted me to pin her to the bed and show her how much I wanted her. She frowned slightly at me, and I managed to tear my eyes away from her to look at the clothes I had laid out for her.

"Um, okay," I faintly heard her say.

"I found pajamas for you," I pointed out like a dumbass. Her face looked hurt for a moment, and I literally could have kicked myself. I really am a dumbass sometimes. Now I just made it look like I didn't want her to wear my shirt. Great.

"I wanted to wear this," she insisted, flopping down on the bed. I caught a peek of her black bra through the unfastened buttons of my shirt, and I had to fight to restrain myself and, uh…Little Seth, if you will.

"That's f-fine," I managed to stutter. She looked at me somewhat expectantly for a few moments, and I took that as my cue to finally peel myself away from her and leave. I would have given anything to stay, but I knew she wasn't ready.

She watched as I backed out the door, pulling it closed halfway as I left. I walked down the hall to the guest room, fighting the urge to sleep outside her door like a damn Labrador retriever. Why did I always have to look like such a friggin idiot in front of that girl? Good Lord, no wonder she thought I was weird.

I hadn't been in bed for three minutes when I heard her start to move around the bed restlessly. I could hear the sheets moving against her legs, twisting and turning with her a she fought to remain comfortable. After a few moments I heard her sigh heavily, and eventually she sat up in bed. I did the same, wincing a little as I felt the familiar tightening in my chest that usually only happened…when she needed me. What the…

I stood up without thinking, moving into the hallway as silently as I could. Now was the time to use my wolf skills if any. I moved back towards my bedroom, feeling the pull lessen the closer I got to her. It was a relief to even be near her sometimes, especially times like this. I peeked into the room, and I was startled a bit when she was looking straight at me.

"Seth?" she asked again hopefully. I ducked inside, trying to keep calm as my chest continued to loosen up. It felt like screws being taken out of a piece of wood; the closer I got, the further the screws were extracted.

"I'm here," I said, sitting down at the edge of the bed. "Can't you sleep?"

"No," she admitted, scooting closer to me on the bed. I looked straight down at the plush carpet at my feet because I knew that one look at her with her hair all curled and sexy and her black bra peeking out of my shirt…I would lose it.

"Well…do you want to…watch TV or something?" I stuttered awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood. She looked at me, her eyes suddenly ridden with lust as she shook her head no.

"Uh…well…"

"Seth, just lay here with me for a little while?"

Her words caught me off guard. Sure, I had shown her a little bit of affection before, and vice versa, but what was this about? This was new, but I wasn't necessarily complaining about it.

"Um…just until you fall asleep," I bargained, looking up at her. She bit her lip as she considered it for a moment then nodded. I felt my heart pound in my chest as I walked around to the other side of the bed and pull back the covers. I normally never slept under blankets, but this was as good as an excuse as any.

The pull towards my imprint at that moment was practically suffocating in its strength. I could barely flatten myself out on the bed because I felt like my heart was going to explode in my own chest from the feelings I had right then—contentment, nervousness, lust, devotion, curiosity—I thought my heart would beat out of my ribcage at that point.

As soon as I was under the covers with her, Regan shocked me again. I don't think that girl would ever stop shocking me sometimes, but I didn't care, especially if she did things like what she did next. She was drawn to me like a magnet, her arm flinging across my chest and one of her cold, little legs wrapping around mine. Her ice cold nose dug into the outside of my bare arm, sending a chill up my spine. I hadn't felt anything cold in I couldn't remember how long.

I moved my head slowly to the side, half afraid of what I would do if my eyes met her gaze.

"Are you that cold?" I asked into the darkness. She nodded, this time moving her cheek to rub against my shoulder.

"Yes," she answered quickly, giggling nervously. "You keep your house so cold. I can't believe it!"

"I can go get more blankets," I said, moving to get up. I didn't know what to do with her body this close to mine; I felt like I was going to lose my mind.

"No! Seth, don't leave," she insisted, latching her arms and leg around my body. I paused, then relaxed back onto the bed where she still waited.

"Okay," I said slowly, relaxing back onto my bed. It was the strangest feeling to have here her with me, in my house, in my bed…my imprint. Just the thought that we had found each other, we were here together, getting along, and we were in my bed just blew my mind after all these years. Was feeling like this allowed? It looked like it was going to have to be.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go get more blankets?"

"No…you're enough. You're always so warm…" she mused, wrapping her arms around my bicep and squeezing tightly. I took my other hand and crossed it over my body to rub it against her chilled shoulder, and she 'mmmm'd' appreciatively. My heart soared on some primal level that I was able to give her something as simple as warmth and a safe place to sleep. I would never let anything bad happen to her. I decided in that moment I would rather walk in front of a semi than watch this girl so much as break a pinky finger. It was all so much to realize, and it hit me all at once, and all over again; I would literally do anything to make this girl happy.

"You're thinking too much," she whispered suddenly, sitting up on her elbow. I knew that the room was too dark for her to see much of me but my outline, but I could still see her. I turned my head to the side, my eyes searching her green ones for the meaning of what she had just said. She swallowed, and I could tell she was as nervous as I was. This wasn't right, but…I didn't want to leave.

"What?" I nearly choked. She began to rub her leg suggestively up and down mine, her hand trailing across my chest to grasp at the worn, flimsy fabric.

"Regan," I groaned, moving my leg away from hers. She didn't know what she was capable of.

"Seth…" she whispered. "Just…please."

"Regan, I should go," I insisted, moving again to get up. She pulled desperately at my shirt, yanking at me to remain with her. I could have moved away if I wanted to, but her next move stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Stay," she commanded. It was like she knew she had practically complete control over me.

I thought a moment, still sitting up in the bed. I looked over my shoulder at her, trying to decipher what she was trying to do. I couldn't hold on much longer, and I think she knew that I was about to give into whatever she wanted.

I was just afraid of what that was.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	35. Chapter 35

Seth

The silence in the room was taunting me. Here she was, in my bedroom, in my bed…and it was killing me. I knew I was at my breaking point with her, and my resistance was low. I had been trying desperately to not give into my new feelings for her, thinking she was too young and it was too soon, but…I couldn't help it.

This felt right.

I sat up, running my hand through my hair. Was this a mistake? No, mistakes didn't feel this right. Mistakes, you could feel in your gut. Mistakes felt wrong while you were doing them.

Being here with her certainly didn't feel that way.

"What do you want, Regan?" I finally whispered. My voice cracked with emotion, and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I didn't want to hate myself for wanting this girl so badly; I felt exhausted from refusing my instinct to be with her. It felt like carrying weights up a stream, but instead of a little brook, I was up to my neck in rapids.

She moved up next to me, sitting down on her knees on the bed. I tried not to look at the way the shirt shifted again, exposing her black bra, or the way she sexily tucked her legs beneath her body. She wrapped her arms slowly around my neck, pulling me closer to her body, which was still slightly chilled by the cool air in the Cullens' house. I reciprocated, trying to keep my focus as our skin touched and sparked pleasantly. Regan looked up at me, her eyes sad and pleading.

My heart went out to her as she spoke; I knew this wasn't easy for her.

"I guess…I guess I just am scared to admit to myself how I feel about you…and I wish it was okay to feel like I do."

"How do you feel about me?" I blurted out.

She looked up at me, her eyes straining in my dark bedroom as the silence chilled us both. I wanted to hear her answer more than anything.

"You frustrate me," she said stubbornly, her bottom lip jutting out.

"Why?"

Her eyes shifted downwards uncomfortably. "I don't know; you just do."

I bit my lip and thought a second, contemplating my next move. How to go about this without sounding weird…

"I shouldn't. Regan, I'm here for you, and…I'm here to be whatever you need me to be."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

I bit back a laugh at her blunt question. "It means what I said. I'm whatever you want…and need."

She looked at me, her eyes straining again to see my face in the dim light. "I'm afraid of what I need from you." Her voice was just above a whisper, and I could feel it; it was laced with shame and regret already. If she was embarrassed, she didn't need to be.

"What do you need?" I asked, my voice cracking again.

She looked away, her hands clenching behind my neck as she held me. Her warm breath blew on my face, enchanting me with her even more. It was hard to concentrate with this girl in front of me, so close…so beautiful.

"I told you…I'm afraid to answer that."

"You are?"

She nodded. "I feel like…like I shouldn't feel the way I do about you…like it's wrong and…and unfair," she admitted.

My stomach twisted as she spoke, and I could feel something shift inside me as I suddenly became aware of what she meant. Could it be? Did she feel the same way about me that I did about her? Was it possible that she needed me to be something romantic towards her, instead of purely platonic? There wasn't a manual on underage imprints turning eighteen, and there should have been. I felt like I was in a complete mindfuck at the moment, and I would have used the said manual to smack myself.

"Why do you seem so…scared?" she asked.

I shook my head, thankful that we were the dark. "Are you scared? To be here? With me?"

"I don't know, Seth…not really. I think the fact that I'm not scared…scares me, you know? That doesn't even make sense…I'm…I'm rambling now and – for some reason – I know that if you're around, I don't have to be scared anymore. You're…you've just always been there for me, and I…I don't know what else to say," she admitted. "You kept your promise to always be there for me, and that's really…sexy," she choked out.

I sensed this was something she had wanted to get off her chest for awhile now, by the way she kept stopping and tripping over her words.

I looked over at her, feeling myself start to blush as the mood in the room lightened. "Mark this day on the calendar. Regan thinks I'm sexy."

She bit her lip and looked away, sliding her hands down my bare arms. Her hands lingered on my forearms, before she tucked her hands back into her lap. "I don't feel wrong about admitting that, either." Her eyes darted up to mine, and a fire flashed through them that I didn't recognize.

"You shouldn't. You should know you can tell me anything."

"I know that…it's just that…we've always been friends, and it was different. Now I want to tell you…different things. Like…" She sighed in frustration.

"Like?" I prodded.

"Nevermind." Damn, her bashfulness won out.

"Well, you think I'm sexy. That's something," I joked, trying to lighten the mood again.

"You're an Adonis, Seth. Get used to it," she quipped, dipping her head.

I swallowed, trying to get a grip on her newfound boldness.

She looked down at her lap, wringing her hands. "I…I wanted to tell you things like this for so long. But it didn't feel right because…well…" She trailed off.

"What made you change your mind?" I questioned without thinking.

She looked up at me, her eyes hopeful. Even in the darkness, I could see her wide, expressive eyes and I was almost tongue tied by her beauty in that moment. I had to focus to her hear speak.

"Honestly? Kissing you, at Leah's wedding. I mean…I'd had…feelings for you for some time, but…God, this is embarrassing…"

"No, I…completely understand," I said. I had to hand it to her… She was being bold and going out on a limb, and I couldn't leave her hanging just…out there. "I have feelings for you, too, Regs."

"You do?"

I nodded, reaching up to cup her cheek. "Of course I do. I told you…you're probably the most important person in my life. I'm not ashamed of that at all. You shouldn't be, either. We were…I just think…" The whole 'imprint' issue danced on my tongue. I knew I needed to tell her, but…how?

"What?" she prodded.

"I think that…fate brought you to me. And me to you. I think we needed each other. We were both a little lost, until we found each other. I don't know about you, but…I don't feel lost anymore."

Her breath caught in her throat for a second as my confession hit her.

"Go on," I reminded her.

"Oh…right," she said, smiling nervously.

I slowly reached over, taking her hand in mine. I could feel her pulse throbbing wildly, and as soon as I touched her, it calmed. She was made for me.

"I felt like…if I didn't at least tell you…if I didn't even put it out there…that I would lose my chance. You're a…you're amazing, Seth, and I…" she stuttered, looking down at her lap. "I didn't want to lose out before I even had a chance. I mean…I felt a little bold for doing what I did at Leah's wedding—"

I interjected there. "We both had a hand in what happened at Leah's wedding, didn't we?"

She blushed and smiled shyly. "I guess. But what I'm saying is…I just didn't want to miss my chance. At that point, I was willing for you to just…completely blow me off. At least then I would know that…like so many other things in my life, that…I wouldn't regret it. I would have at least tried. I wouldn't hate myself, because I would know at least I gave it a shot."

I watched as she spoke, completely in awe of her. Something about that girl just made me so captivated. The sheer magnitude of this moment was starting to hit me, and I think it was her, as well.

She must have read my mind, as she grasped both my cheeks in her hands and looked at me. "I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Seth. This is wrong, but I don't care anymore. I can't care anymore, I'll go crazy," she breathed quickly.

And then she kissed me.

Her lips were the only warm thing about her at the moment; the rest of her body was still chilled from the cold air around us. Instinctively, I pulled her tighter against my body as she kissed me, my insides rejoicing at the sudden contact with my imprint. Her lips were still the softest thing I had ever felt against mine, and I honestly didn't understand how I could ever even look at another woman after this. She was perfect as her slightly moistened, velvet lips moved against mine. Her grasp on me loosened, and we slowly broke apart.

Pretty good for a third kiss.

I think I could have flown if someone had thrown me from a cliff at that point.

We pulled away, but just slightly, both of us panting from surprise and what I hoped was elation. Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, the ends of her long eyelashes dancing across the tops of her cheeks. Like a moth to a flame, my hand rose up and wound itself in her hair, my thumb stroking her cheek.

"Regan," I stated in a raspy whisper, punch drunk with love for the girl sitting on her knees beside me on my bed. I was encased in her trance, but I liked it.

"Seth?" she panted, her green eyes flashing open. Tears welled up in her bright green orbs, threatening to spill over.

"What?" I asked, fighting to keep my own eyes open as I breathed. I was in utopia at the moment, and I never wanted to leave to do anything, unless it was for her.

"I shouldn't have d-done that, should I?" she asked, her lower lip trembling.

I looked at her, finally coming back down to earth for a second.

"I shouldn't have let you but…but…I-I can't be without you, either," I stuttered, weaving my hand deeper into her curly, mussed up locks. "I don't want to be. I'm tired of being without you."

Her head relaxed in my hand, making it even easier to pull her head to mine and let our lips crash together again.

I reveled in the feeling of finally being able to feel her mouth joined with mine, and I greedily ached for more. My body took command, as my mind moved to the wayside, along with logic, clear thought, and any semblance of control.

I leaned forward against her waiting body, my arms encircling her. Deep in the back of my mind, logical thoughts were screaming at me – too young, too much, too soon! But it was too late for that. It sounded like they were being muffled with a feather pillow, as I pulled her soft body even tighter against mine as we kissed hungrily. It was like the floodgates had opened, and we were both dying of thirst for each other.

My lips crashed against hers again and again, and each time, I became more greedy. Kissing this girl was like heaven. I fought to keep myself under control and go slow, because well, damnit, this was important. I waited until she seemed willing, before I carefully slipped my tongue past her lips to taste her. Oh God.

Her tongue touched mine, and I was ninety nine percent sure I lost all coherent thought, as I was finally allowed to revel in the taste of her. I didn't expect kissing Regan like this to feel so good…and the best part was, it felt natural. Completely, utterly natural. There was none of the usual head-bumping, too-much tongue awkwardness that could come with a first French kiss. Her tongue caressed mine, and in no way was that a bad thing. Regan had the most velvety full lips I had ever had the pleasure of kissing, and I could honestly say that no one else could compare. Not that I could think of anything else.

She was un-fucking-believable.

My hands found their way to her cheeks, and I held her there, never wanting this kiss to stop. I didn't know how long this would last, and I was feeling greedy anyway, so why stop there? My hands wound into her hair, feeling her silky tendrils under my fingers as our kisses got deeper and deeper.

Regan's hands seemed to have the same idea. I jumped when her cool hands touched my arms, roaming around to my chest. She touched me, her hands sliding up my chest to wrap around my neck. And then…she pulled me closer. This girl wanted me closer. I wasn't scaring her, I wasn't making her disgusted.

No, she wanted more. The little part of me that was holding back and keeping my wild desire for my imprint in check crumbled.

I felt myself lovingly tackle her on the bed, but she welcomed it. I could feel how she reacted against me, hands grabbing at my hips to position them in between her short legs. I was too tall, and she was too short, but in my mind, never before had two people fit together so perfectly.

I dipped my head down to join our lips again, lightly sucking on her bottom lip between mine. My lips seemed to drag down the sides of her cheeks, lowering even more to kiss and suck at her neck. Her hair brushed against my cheek as I slid my tongue out of my mouth ever so slightly to taste the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder. Oh God…heaven.

She sighed softly, and my inner wolf rejoiced. She was liking this.

I felt her fingers weave into my shaggy hair, as her hands pulled her even closer to me, her appreciative little groans sounding intermittently in the darkness. I learned many things about Regan that night; one was that she was relatively silent when we were like this. However, when I did things like kiss her neck or suck her earlobe, she would groan or whimper. The noises that fell from her lips in times of lust-driven passion like that were so rare that when they did happen, it nearly drove me wild.

I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't be enjoying this with her yet, and that I should stop, and that I should do a lot of things that I currently wasn't doing. Yet, the only thought I could hold in my head for more than a fleeting second was the fact that the feeling of her body against mine was the single most glorious feeling ever. I lowered myself even closer to her, to feel the warmth of her body against my own, reveling in the softness of it all. Regan was perfect for me – curvy, soft, yet just the right amount of feminine muscle. Her body felt like utopia against mine, and I ached for more.

I felt her pulling at my shirt, and where my brain would have stopped me from removing it, the pull of my imprint's need won over tenfold, as I let her rip it from me and toss it to the end of the bed. Without my permission, my hand slid up her side, roaming to the font of the shirt of mine that was currently adorning her body. I reached for a button, snapping it open. She kissed me harder, deeper.

Yes, she definitely wanted this. She was no longer Regs, my cute, trouble-seeking, klutzy little imprint that had captured my heart and become my best friend. She still had remnants of that girl in her, but now…now, she was this vibrant, intelligent, stunning vixen of a woman. My head was spinning a little.

I would miss the girl, but I welcomed the woman.

Before I knew it, the little lacy black bra from my deepest, darkest fantasies was pressed against my naked chest, and nothing was between us but my shorts and her bra and underwear. Even though this wasn't right…I was going to make it count with everything I had. I didn't know when or if I would ever be like this again, and I was determined to know what heaven felt like for at least one night.

Jacob once described the first time he and Nessie had sex as him enjoying a good meal after starving for a week. Even though his hunger for her had nearly driven him mad at that point, he wasn't going to throw away that many years of waiting to just devour her and not enjoy one second of it.

This was one my one chance to show her that we were meant to be together. I was going to do my best to please her any way I could; over the years, I had come up with a lot of ways to please my future imprint once I finally met her, and I wasn't letting one of those ideas go to waste tonight.

She tasted even better than she had at Leah's wedding, when she had just had champagne. The bubbles on her tongue and the sweet taste had lingered that night, making her taste exquisite against my mouth. And yet, I knew at this moment that I preferred her pure, undiluted – just her. That was more than enough for me.

My palm softly gripped her shoulder as I nibbled her ear for a second, eliciting a soft groan of approval from her as she moved against me. Her pelvis began to tip towards mine, and I instantly became the rest of the way hardened against our clothing. My erection strained against the thin fabric of the basketball shorts I had on, and I resisted the urge to yank all of our clothes off and just get on with it. No, this was something I wanted to enjoy. I pulled away from her mouth, my eyes raking down her curvy body that lay beneath me on my bed. An excited shiver ran down my spine as I thought about those words. My bed. My imprint in my bed.

I glanced down at the black bra that covered her, and then further down to the pink panties she had on, which were adorned with little white dogs. How fitting.

"What?" she panted, squirming slightly. "What are you looking at?"

I laughed deeply, resting my head on her shoulder as I hovered above her, trying not to crush her under my weight.

"Your bra and panties don't match," I laughed, and she joined me in nervous giggles.

"Of course not; only super organized girls do that. I just…throw on what I can find. Shut up, it's dark."

I looked down at her black bra, and her eyes followed mine. She looked back up at me, giving me a flirtatious grin. "You like my bra?"

I nodded, trying hard not to stare. My eyes weren't obeying. "Y-yes."

"W-will you take it off me?"

Her request was so simple, yet I had never envisioned anything harder. I knew that if that bra came off, her underwear would follow, then my underwear, and then our naked bodies would be pressed against each other, and then…I was no dummy. I was an adult; I knew how sex worked. I also knew that if I thought it was impossible to be in the same room with her with her clothes on and me not be turned on as all hell…then the two of us naked in my bed would mean no turning back. I was more than ready for this, but was she?

"Regan…" I began, pressing my lips together. "I don't think…"

I trailed off, and her eyes fell. Sadness enveloped us both as we realized what we were doing.

"I want to."

"What?" I asked, my head jerking up.

Her eyes strained in the dark as she patted the side of my face with her hand.

"I want to, Seth. It's okay. I want to."

Her words hung in the air, and my clouded brain fought to make a rational decision as my iron will to resist her decided to fly out the window. I had waited for her for so long, and here she was, right below me, telling me that it was okay – it was finally okay – for me to do these thing with her. She wanted to these things with me.

"I will….I would die if we didn't."

"Die?"

"Um….maybe. Do you really want to find out if I can combust or not?"

"Certainly not, but…."

"You're thinking too much again," she quickly reminded me, clasping her hands behind my neck, pulling me towards her.

I resisted at first, still trying to debate what to do. She reached behind her in an almost double jointed way, and I heard the clasp on her bra snap open. In one yanking motion, she ripped it from her chest, tossed the bra to the foot of the bed, and looked up at me expectantly. I could have died.

"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to," she said, "but I'm not ready to stop."

I gaped at her. I stared down at her chest and her perfect breasts, and I just gaped. I couldn't even move. I was just in awe.

"Seth, please…I'm dying here," she half whispered, half whined. "Please…just tonight? We'll worry about everything tomorrow. Just let me know…just once, what it's like."

"What's what like?" I whispered, finally peeling my eyes away from her chest to look in her eyes.

She gulped. "To be with you. Like that. Not just as friends…I want to be with you like…like I'm hoping you want to be with me. Do you want to be with me?"

I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have even pretended like I was considering it. But there she was…and I knew that quitting right then would be like trying to give up crack.

I sucked in a breath as she moved to lay on her side, and I, still speechless, did the same. I was still trying to keep the façade of control and not look where I desperately wanted to as she hitched her short leg around my hip and scooted up against my body. Her mouth pressed against my pecs as she laid feathery kisses along my chest, her hands hooking around my shoulders to hoist herself up towards me. My hand lay on her hip, as her warm center almost pressed up against my raging hard on. It was like she knew it was there, and she was avoiding it to make me crazy.

She ghosted light kisses across my collar bone and then up my neck, her need growing with each kiss. I could feel everything she was feeling through our imprint bond, and I relaxed a little as I remembered that. The guys had always assured me that I would be able to sense what she was feeling through our connection, and if something felt good to me, that it would feel good to her, and vice versa. If her feelings weren't deceiving me, she was in as much bliss as I was. I ran my hand down her side, feeling goose bumps form on her skin everywhere I touched. Watching and feeling her body react to mine was like nothing else I had ever experienced.

I wanted to touch her for days.

She kissed me again – firmer this time, as if to remind me that she was still there, not just the silky curves of her body. I smiled against her kisses, chuckling as she reached up and held my head to her. I liked this…bolder side of her.

My hand continued to ghost down her side, touching her soft skin but avoiding her newly exposed chest. I didn't want to do anything that wasn't allowed, and I wanted to be respectful. I hoped she would always remember this night, no matter what happened between us. I needed her to remember me as being exactly how she wanted, because I knew she had been hurt in the past. Regan was a different person now, but I was no fool. I knew how quickly all of her progress could disappear if I made a wrong move or did something to upset her. Her past spoke volumes, and it was at the front of my mind as I continued to kiss her soft mouth. If she wanted to go back to being friends after this, then so be it. It would kill me, but I would do it for her. If anything, though, she would know that for at least one night, I had loved her as much as she would let me.

I would love her as much as my stupid heart would allow. Somehow, even that didn't feel like enough sometimes. Especially now.

"Seth…" she whispered.

"Yes?" I asked between kisses.

We were still lying on our sides, and her leg pulled me even closer. I groaned and panted slightly, gripping her hip.

"You're thinking again; I can feel it."

"Thinking?"

"Yes," she breathed, ghosting kisses up my jaw line. "Thinking is bad, remember?" she asked.

"Oh…yeah…very bad," I muttered, nodding breathlessly.

She kissed me again as her mouth finally found mine, and she made it feel like we had been doing this for years. My hand slid up her side, closer to her bare chest, but still not touching it. When she arched her back and turned slightly, my palm found itself full of the most glorious breasts I thought were ever created. Her back arched even further, pressing more of her supple skin into my hand.

Her soft hand gripped my bicep as I touched her, her touch sending sparks all the way up my arm. My skin sizzled under hers, and I wondered if she could feel what she did to me.

"You feel really…good," she panted between kisses.

They soon slowed, and then stopped as she looked up at me. We were still on our sides, facing each other, her leg over my hips, our arms entangled, but she could sense that I was holding back.

"Seth," she whispered. "Why don't you…why don't you want me as much as I want you?"

"What? Is that what you think?" I almost gasped. I looked down at her, gently grabbing her head and cradling it in my too-big hands. I knew where this was going, and it was going there fast. But was it too fast? I had to know.

"Regan, I want this. But are you sure you do? I have to be sure."

"Seth," she said softly, her voice firm. "I want this. I want you."

She didn't have to say anything else to me after that. I threw her onto her back again, licking and kissing my way down to her perfect breasts. I didn't think I would ever be able to look at another woman's breasts again after seeing Regan's. Nothing would compare, so what would be the point? I opened my eyes several times as I kissed and sucked at her hardened tips; I didn't want her to see me staring – which I would have done – or get freaked out that I was practically coming unglued.

Her hands wove into my hair, scraping down my neck and shoulders as she felt me. I could only hope that I felt as good under her hand as she did mine. Her curves were glorious under my fingers as I ran them up down her body, reveling in every dip and glorious inch. My lower half began to ache as she caressed me, and I knew she had to feel how much I wanted her. Our hearts were beating practically in synch as our furious make-out-session continued. I felt like I was already near the edge as I continued to touch, taste, and tease her, making my way back to her lips.

"How could you ever…doubt how much I want you? You're perfect," I said between kisses.

She stopped, pausing as I kissed down her neck, tasting her skin. Her neck was beginning to sweat; I grinned to myself as I realized it was her body's reaction to being so close to mine. Nothing pleased me more.

"Guys don't say things like that in real life," she said softly, weaving her fingers in my hair. "That's out of movies and sappy romance novels."

"You want me to stop talking?" I asked. "I'm not lying."

"Then no," she whispered, a faint smile dancing on her lips.

I propped myself up on my elbow, holding my weight above her. She smiled up at me, her cheeks pink in the dark bedroom. My finger traced her lips – her sweet, perfect lips – down her jaw…down her neck and chest…just drinking her in. How could she not realize how perfect she was? Certainly none of it was wasted on me. My finger moved across the smooth skin of her collar bone, dipping down to her rapidly beating heart. I pressed my hand against it, smiling as my sensitive eyesight caught the tiny movements of her skin against my hand. I could feel her heart beating; it was so fast and slightly erratic. It matched my own.

"It only does that for you, you know," she admitted softly, her green, dilated eyes watching mine.

I sighed, a faint smile dancing on my mouth as I watched her. "Is that so?"

She nodded, using her hands in my hair to pull me back to her awaiting mouth. Her kisses were getting firmer; they held more intent this time. Her fingernails scraped at my scalp, and I briefly wondered how a girl could feel so damn good.

Her hands in my hair only egged me on, as I finally got to do some of the things I wanted to do with my imprint. I made my way down her body, my hands going first, and my mouth second. After several minutes of her grinding her hot center against my stone-hard erection, I could smell and feel that she was more than ready for me. I softly pressed my fingertips against her cotton underwear, rubbing her through the material. The little sighs and moans that came from her were enough to make me crazy.

I came out of my haze a little when her free hand began to tug at the hem of my worn basketball shorts. Shit, I thought. This was really happening. My fingertips could feel the soft cotton of her underwear as they danced around the hem, debating what to do. Regan whined in protest, grinding herself against me with a rough thrust of her hips off the bed. I groaned as our bodies came into contact, rejoicing at the feeling.

"Take them off," she whispered, her lips returning to mine.

"Uh….sure," I readily agreed. I winced at how stupid I sounded, but based on her labored breathing and heavy kisses she either didn't notice or care.

She kissed me deeply and repeated her motion, further sealing the decision in my mind. When I slipped her underwear off, I was hit with the scent of her arousal; it was stronger now that she was completely unclothed, and it hit me like a bus. I fought to not let the wolf side of me take control; boy, did I fight. Regan purposefully ground herself against my leg, and I could feel how much she wanted me. My finger slid down her folds, tentatively touching her as softly as I could manage. Regan's breathing increased along with her heart rate, and I took that as a good sign and proceeded.

"Mmm, Seth," she softly grunted into my shoulder as I slipped a finger into her wetness.

My thumb found the spot that all women liked, and I rubbed her as she began to grind her hips against my hand. I added a second finger. She moaned again and actually bit my shoulder. I lost my mind.

I was only able to touch her for a few more moments after that. I couldn't handle anymore teasing, and neither could she. The scent of her arousal blanketed the room, coating my senses and helping me on my way to euphoria as we kissed and groaned in unison on my bed. The feeling of finally being able to bring my other half to the pleasure she deserved was like nothing else. Not even close. Fate had led me to her, and now it was up to me to prove to her that we belonged together.

"Seth, please," she gasped between kisses, giving me a look so ridden with lust that I couldn't stand it.

Every muscle, every bone, every fiber in my body reacted to her words as I fought to concentrate. She wanted me. She needed me. She would have me; I wouldn't deny either of us what we so desperately wanted.

I pulled down my shorts just far enough to kick them the rest of the way off, before positioning myself between her legs. She kissed my neck and whimpered as my tip pressed against her entrance; she was more than ready for me. I braced myself, before I pushed slowly into her, trying to will myself to make this last.

"Oh God," I groaned, dropping my forehead to rest against hers.

She shifted her hips up to meet mine in response, helping me ease into her entrance even farther.

Regan began breathing faster as her body stretched to accommodate my size. She wasn't a virgin – not even close, I knew that – and for a split second, I was glad. I couldn't have imagined trying this with her if she had been; it would have kept her from walking for days.

"Uhgh, Seth," she groaned, her hands staking a claim on my lower back.

Even my skin there could sizzle, I discovered. She grabbed and pulled at me, until I lowered myself to rest almost completely on top of her. I wrapped one arm around her body, using the other to brace myself beside hers as I began to slowly move. There weren't words to describe how fucking amazing that girl felt. Making love to my imprint was easily ten thousand times better than any of the little stupid trysts I'd had with women in the past. I probably wouldn't even be able to remember them after this.

I lowered my face against her neck as I sank into her warmth almost completely, breathing in the familiar cherry and almond tones, mixed with the erotic scent of her arousal. She panted and bit down on her lip, as I pulled out and plunged back into her, this time enveloping my entire length in her. I moved to kiss her mouth again, as she lifted her hips to meet mine. Our bodies came together with a soft smacking sound, as we moved together in a slow, torturous union. I gasped when she hitched one leg around my hip, allowing me easier access to her.

"Fuck, Regan," I slipped, squeezing my eyes closed as she lifted her hips and nipped at my earlobe.

I continued to move within her, both of us breathing heavily in unison and making contented noises. The fact that my body was finally joined with hers at our most intimate places elicited feelings in me that I didn't even know I was capable of having, both physical and emotional.

I dipped my head down, determined to worship every part of her that I could. I wanted to make her feel good, damnit, and I would use every trick from the back of my pack's dirty little mind that I could remember. I took one of her pert tips into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and making her moan.

She arched her back, making her chest come even closer to me, begging. Her hand gripped my bicep again, and the other still gripped my neck, pulling me closer to her, as if her life depended on what my mouth was doing. I rocked against her body as I continued to please her, my hips meeting hers every few seconds with a deliberate thrust. I rolled my hips slightly, making her clench her eyes shut and gasp.

"Oh…." she panted, arching her back again.

I took that as a good sign. I closed my eyes, kissing her cheeks lightly as I tried to make this last. I wondered if anyone had ever loved her like this; had anyone made her feel this way?

I rolled my hips against hers again, my body singing with pleasure and relief to finally be able to please my imprint this way. Her pants, sighs, and tiny moans as she scraped her nails up my back were enough for me as our bodies rocked in perfect synch together. Picking up her leg, I hitched it around my hip and sunk myself in deeper. Regan cried out, her head falling back against the pillow as her body clenched against me. Her hand slid down my slightly sweaty back, pulling me tighter against her. I could feel that she was hot; her body was covered with a thin sheen of sweat, just as mine was, but she didn't seem to mind. Most girls couldn't stand the heat of wolf for too long, but my imprint didn't care. Regan moved her hands to my chest, her hand covering my furiously beating heart.

Could she feel what she did to me? I could only hope.

"God, I love you," I moaned into her ear as I began the climb towards release.

I barely noticed as she froze slightly, her hands shaking a little on my chest. Again, I lowered my lips from her neck, down to her breasts. I nipped and sucked at them for a few moments, taking my time as I realized that she was enjoying my extra efforts, to have her join me in my release. I slowed my movements, feeling her feminine walls clench against me.

Each slow thrust inside her helped get her closer to release. She panted and her eyes rolled back in her head, as I continued to suck and kiss at her breasts, slowly thrusting into her. Her body began to climb; I could feel it. My mouth worked one nipple, swirling my tongue and worshipping it for a few seconds before moving to the other. Her pants and moans made me more and more confident that I knew exactly what to do with her body to make her satisfied. I blew on her hardened tip, watching it harden as she writhed beneath me. With a smirk, I realized one of her hands was actually pulling on my hair as I continued to pleasure her, her fingers woven down to my scalp.

"Oh…..I'm…I'm...ah…."

That high pitched stutter could only mean one thing.

When she came, the imprint magic that bonded her to me also worked to my advantage. Her feelings of release and pleasure seemed to bounce back onto me, making my experience all that much better. I could barely hold on as I grunted and began to move faster inside of her, determined to let her ride out her own orgasm before I released myself. She curled one leg around my hip again and the other around my leg, as she lifted her pelvis in sheer enjoyment.

"Ah!" she breathed, gripping my shoulders as her body clenched delightfully all around me.

I had never felt heaven this close before. With each movement of my hips I became more positive that heaven was now located between my imprint's legs.

Fuck.

I soon felt myself twitch slightly, and my own feelings of release slammed into me as I came. She gasped each time I thrust into her, my body exploding with an orgasm that I was sure put all others to shame.

I panted as I came back down to earth, my eyes opening for the first time in a while to look down at her. Regan lay beneath me, the epitome of beautiful. Her dark hair was fanned out on my pillow, messy and tousled from our lovemaking. Her eyes were clouded and lusty, her cheeks pink with heat. Her lips were swollen from kissing me so much, and her forehead around her hairline glistened slightly with a few beads of sweat. She was so beautiful, it almost hurt to look at her in that moment.

I lowered my head to press my nose against her cheek – almost nuzzling her, like I would have in wolf form. She sighed contentedly as I wrapped my arms around her still slightly trembling body, pressing kisses to her mouth, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead…anywhere I could. I pulled out of her after a few moments, suddenly hit with a feeling of emptiness as I carefully moved off of her. Regan sighed another shaky sigh as I lay on my side next to her.

As I watched her breathing slow and her naked body cool down from my body heat, she turned to look at me, but said nothing. I wanted to tell her a million things, but nothing seemed fitting after what had just happened. We had fit together so perfectly and wonderfully; I couldn't even remember anything before Regan at that point.

She sat up halfway, propped up on her elbow. Her other arm moved like it was about to embrace me and cuddle into my side, but she stopped herself, her green eyes darting from my chest to the bare space between us. It was almost like she was afraid to touch me after what had just happened.

Didn't she get it? I was hers now. Not that I wasn't before, but now I really did belong to her and her only. She could have ordered me to carry her piggyback style for the rest of her life, never to walk another step again, and I would have, at that point. Hell, I would have done it and grinned like a jackass.

I watched her eyes stare at the space between us on the bed, almost like it was taunting her. Was she really afraid to touch me? Her heart sped up a little as she lowered her head back down, trying to look content to sleep separated like this. I felt like there was suddenly a canyon between us.

"Commere," I said simply, grabbing her hand. She looked surprised as I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her up against my chest. Her leg twisted around mine, and I used my other hand to stroke her hand that now lay on my bare chest.

"Am I too hot for you?" I asked softly, pressing my nose into her top of her head.

She shook her head 'no,' and my heart swelled in happiness as I felt her sigh in contentment.

I waited until I heard her breathing even out, signaling that she had fallen asleep, before I even began to think about sleep myself. I wasn't sure how I was going to find sleep that night, as the evening's events played out in my mind. In that moment, I felt like nothing would ever upset me ever again…I was too content and satisfied.

I could never be more wrong.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	36. BONUS SCENE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a previous chapter from Regan's POV. I think it's a little out of sequence with what I have posted here, but you get the idea. Basically this is her POV of the whole chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bonus chapter! : )

I didn’t know what I was saying anymore, and I didn’t even care to know.

“I want to, Seth. It’s okay. I want to.”

The words came from my mouth without my control. When you have your half naked, panting, so-hot-you-could-lick-him-and-like-it-best friend on top of you, you tend to lose your rational train of thought, I suppose.

And he was. He was so beautiful, and I could barely even see in the dark room. My hands moved from the sheets to touch his arms; I needed to feel that he was real. I needed to feel what my mind was telling me was right in front of me.

My hands slid over his hot muscles – slowly, at first – before melting into them like butter over hot popcorn. Seth was so inviting like this that it made me ache – literally – for him. I hadn’t had sex in over a year, if what I'd had with Brady you would even call ‘sex.’ I was too happy with my life to even think about sex, and too wrapped up in my school girl crush on Seth to even consider having it with someone else. But now…with him hovering on top of me, his warm breath blowing on my chest, teasing me, taunting me…I couldn’t resist.

He stared down at me. I caught the dim gleam of his eye in the faint moonlight, and I saw that he looked utterly clueless as to what to do. That idea appealed to me – the idea of Seth really not knowing what to do. That would be special: what if we had never been with other people before now, before this moment? What if we were actually able to give ourselves to one another, instead of all of the other people first? I wished Seth could have been my first…maybe then I could have spared myself all of those miserable years as a teenager, stupidly trying to find love and affection in all the wrong places.

Maybe, if I had met Seth first, I would have always been as happy as I am now.

Maybe, if I had met Seth first, I never would have been broken at all.

Yes, that was it, I decided, as I stared up at him. I would forget all others before him and make tonight my first time in my mind. I felt like that was the smartest decision I had ever made. He licked his lips and glanced down my body, as if deciding what to do.

“You’re thinking too much again,” I reminded him. I pulled him toward me, silently urging him to let me feel more of his glorious body against mine. Maybe some of whatever made him so beautiful and god-like would rub off on me.

You’re crazy, I chided myself.

He resisted at first, but his façade of control was fading. Taking a gulp of air, I reached behind myself and unsnapped my bra. I tossed it to the floor and looked up at him for his reaction – or was it approval?

He stared into my eyes. He was visibly panicked as he debated whether or not to look. His gentlemanly demeanor was the same in the bedroom and out, I realized.

No one was perfect, but Seth Clearwater sure as hell came close.

“You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to….but I’m not ready to stop,” I said.

His eyes dropped down to my breasts, and that was the next sign he was losing control. He was looking at me. I felt my skin turn hot as I blushed, but I reminded myself again: I want this.

“Seth, please…I’m dying here,” I whispered. My voice was laced with desperation, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him that much. “Please…just tonight? We’ll worry about everything tomorrow. Just let me know….just once, what it’s like.”

“What what’s like?” he asked, looking back up at my eyes.

“To be with you. Like that. Not just as friends….I want to be with you like…like I’m hoping you want to be with me. Do you want to be with me?”

I felt stupid. I was begging. I wasn’t begging for sex, or attention, or anything like that; I was begging for love – for him to love me and to feel what it was like to have him want me like that.

Shame burned through me as I turned on my side, letting him roll off of me. My desperation was tangible in the darkness, and I hoped he couldn’t see my embarrassment.

I wouldn’t let this stop me. I couldn’t. I watched as he lowered himself onto his side, almost mirroring my position. Sliding my leg over his hip, I tried to make my embarrassment simmer and take control. I moved closer to him, drawn like a magnet. I kissed his chest – his perfect, chiseled, hot chest – and felt him shudder. He did like it.

I was drawn to him, but still scared. What if he rejected me? By the way he was breathing, though…I didn’t think that would happen. Tentatively, I pressed a soft kiss to the first part of his body that I could touch. His chest. Oh, Mother of God.

His tight, muscled, sinewy chest. His skin burned against my lips, searing through me like lightning would a tree in a thunderstorm. My hands slid up broad planes of his muscles, my right hand hitching onto his arm as I kissed him again and again. I felt his body relax slightly against my mouth, and then … he was giving into me.

Seth was finally giving in.

I knew it was cliché to act like a horny teenage girl and grind myself against him…but I was a horny teenage girl. I pulled myself against his hard body, the friction giving me shivers of joy. He was hard, and that gave me endless satisfaction. He was harder than concrete, harder than any boy I’d ever been with. Well, I wasn’t with a boy, I was with a man, but still…the concept was the same.

Mmm, yes…Seth is quite the man.

My lips dragged themselves across his collar bone and up his neck without my permission, growing more and more needy with each kiss. I couldn’t help myself anymore; the man oozing liquid sex beside me was more than my teenage body could handle. He was so beautiful, it wasn’t fair. I needed him, and I needed him now.

I slid my hand up his neck as stealthily as I could…there was no turning back now. My fingers wove into his shaggy black hair, and it was so soft against my hands that it almost distracted me from pulling his mouth down to meet mine. I could feel him smile against my lips as I kissed him, and he finally returned the favor, kissing me deeply between smiles and chuckles. I laughed with him, both of us giddy.

I jumped when his hand slid down my side, lovingly touching every curve and surface of my skin. He lay propped on his side now, his hand exploring every area but the ones I wanted him explore. I thought I was going to go mad.

“Seth…” I whispered between kisses. I hitched my leg tighter against him, moaning slightly at the delightful friction between us. So good.

“Yes?”

“You’re thinking again, I can feel it.”

“Thinking?”

“Yes. Thinking is bad, remember?” I kissed his perfect jaw, trying to make him do anything but think. I just wanted his hands on me at this point, as my body was practically screaming for him. My hormones felt like a pinball inside of me, except there wasn’t just one; there were six thousand of them going at a time. My body was going to explode if he didn’t give in to me.

“Oh…yeah…very bad,” he muttered, before letting his lips crash into mine.

They did that thing where they melted together again…making me crazy and happy, all at the same time. His hand ghosted up my side again, and I could feel his hesitation to touch me. I arched my back and moaned into his mouth, hooking my leg even tighter against his. When I felt like I would explode, his hand finally covered one of my breasts, gently palming it with his warm hand.

The spot between my legs tingled as he touched me, and I knew I was going to combust if he didn’t go further than just second base. I knew he wanted to…I could feel it. That was the crazy thing about being with Seth like this. I could almost feel what he wanted to do to me, and it was like being tortured with the promise of an eventual release. It was utter misery and beauty, all rolled into one.

“You feel really…good,” I mumbled, grasping his bicep. I forced his hand to stay on me, softly massaging my breast as we kissed. “But…Seth…why don’t you…why don’t you want me as much as I want you?” I didn‘t mean to sound like I was pitiful, but I knew that‘s how it had come out. 

“What? Is that what you think?” he asked, breaking away. His hand stopped its movements, and suddenly, both of his hands were on my cheeks.

“Regan, I want this. But are you sure you do? I have to be sure.”

“Seth,” I said, my voice shaky, “I want this. I want you.”

He pinned me on my back faster than lightning after that. I couldn’t complain; his weight on my body was wonderful, the perfect mix of comforting and satisfying. My chest heaved as I fought to remain in control, but his lips trailing down my neck and chest were making it hard to hold a thought for more than a split second. He took one of my nipples in his mouth, and I felt my vision cross. How could a mouth feel that good? Was that even legal? I shifted my body down slightly, begging him for more…anything. I grinded myself against him, needing some friction to ease my delightful suffering as he pleasured my chest. He continued kissing and sucking, while at the same time, moving on top of me further, letting his body sink down onto mine completely.

When his lips came back up to mine, we both breathed a sigh of relief. As much as I loved the feeling of his mouth on me, it felt so right to kiss him. Not just kiss. Make out. We were making out and fooling around. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be doing this with Seth, I would have laughed…and then gone home and fantasized about it.

I had to make this real for myself. It felt like a good dream that I was going to wake up from at any moment. My hand slid down his ripped stomach, both testing and teasing him. He groaned into my mouth and paused his kisses as my hand found his hardness. It was hot and hard and….oh my. My mind screamed as I felt his length. I knew he was physically a large guy, but I had no idea that all of him would be that…big. He groaned again as my hand came back up to cup his cheek.

“How could you ever…doubt how much I want you? You’re perfect,” he said between kisses.

I paused, fighting the urge to smile to myself at his words.

“Guys don’t say things like that in real life.”

“You want me to stop talking? I’m not lying,” he said, as he placed a tantalizingly, firm, and slow kiss on my shoulder where my neck began.

My skin began to tingle as I fought to remain coherent. “Then no,” I admitted.

He chuckled to himself, propping himself on his elbow. He hovered over me; I could feel his warm breath on my skin. Reaching out, he began to drag a finger over my lips. Down he went, over my jaw, down my neck…he was giving me goose bumps. Hell, every time he touched me, he practically made me want to jump out of my skin. The closer he got to my chest, the louder my heart beat against my chest, making my body practically radiate with need. His eyes flicked up to meet mine, and in the dim light, I could just barely make out the tiny smirk he gave me when he touched the place above my rapidly fluttering heart. He could feel it.

As if reading my thoughts, he placed with wide, warm palm against my heart, visibly listening to it beating.

I felt exposed. He could feel what he did to me, and I felt exposed.

“It only does that for you, you know,“ I admitted.

He sighed, blowing his warm, spicy scent over me. “Is that so?”

I could only nod like a giddy school girl. He hovered over me, teasing. I reached up, weaving my hands in his shaggy black hair, which was surprisingly soft. Pulling him towards me, I felt my pounding heart rejoice as his lips crashed into mine again. We made out like two Juniors on prom night that were just minutes away from curfew. I couldn’t get enough of the man that was now kissing and tasting me like he had never kissed anyone before me. It should have scared me, but…it made this feel more like the first time for both of us, not just me. Everything was so new and delightful and…wonderful. I had never felt this connected to anyone I had been in bed with; they were always just boys that had paid attention to me for more than fifteen minutes. But now, I felt like I was in bed with my best friend, and that felt strangely right.

His body felt so good – better than I thought it would have. And believe me…I’d spent a lot of nights at that point thinking about how his body would feel. As he kissed down my chest, I tried to make my brain cooperate long enough to compare him to something so that I could remember it later. Hmm…silk. And marble. Warm, silk covered marble. Yes, that was more like it.

Then…when I thought things couldn’t get better…our bodies shifted just the right way, joining us perfectly. We were only separated by my underwear and his thin shorts, but that was enough to feel him – all of him. His hardness grinded against me, making me moan in surprise. He sucked on my neck, as his hands began to knead at my hips.

His hand slid down my stomach, ever so carefully. He was almost timid when touching me – not that I minded. For once, it was nice to have someone act like this with me. It made me feel wanted and somehow worthy. When he pressed his fingers against me through my underwear, I let another moan sip out.

Oh sweet Jesus…

Ripples of pleasure made their way up my spine, making me grab the sheets and curl my toes. Without thinking, my hand yanked at his shorts. They were flimsy and behaved, allowing me to easily push them down farther. However, the continued movement of his hand against my center made it hard to really do much of anything.

“Take them off,” I managed to whisper.

I leaned up, kissing him softly, pleading. He obeyed almost immediately. Was he waiting for my permission? My approval? I couldn’t be sure. The only thing I was sure about was that I was definitely naked in Seth Clearwater’s bed, and I knew I would combust if I didn’t get what I wanted: him.

His hand ghosted over me, tentative. Kissing him again, I tried to make him feel reassured that what we were doing was okay. After all, how could something this glorious not be okay? Finally, he gave in. I jumped slightly when I felt his hand hover over me. I could feel his breath hitch, and my back arched when he finally – just barely – touched my skin. His finger slipped inside, both of us exhaling in relief as his warm hand caressed me right where I needed him the most. A few passes inside of me, and his thumb joined the party, rubbing my clit in lazy circles. I felt my head slam against the pillow, my breathing instantly ragged and needy.

Seth exhaled again, and I could feel his gaze on me. I didn’t care. The planet could have spun out of orbit, and I wouldn’t have even lifted my head off that fucking pillow. As long as he was here, above me, touching me like I was made of glass, giving my body what it needed…

Oh God.

He finally touched me – really touched me – like I wanted him to. My legs fell open wider, inviting him even more. He rubbed me amazingly right, like he had done this to me a thousand times. Hell, he could touch me better than I could myself, and that was saying something. My back arched further, begging him for more as he moved slowly over me, learning my body.

“Mmm, Seth,” I groaned, as he made another pass over my clit.

He focused his attention there, my body reacting with every touch he gave me. Leaning down, he placed more lingering, soft kisses on my neck, as if to urge me closer to what I needed from him. Before thinking, my teeth sank into his shoulder to muffle my cry of pure, undulating pleasure.

“Seth, please,” I begged. I didn’t care if I sounded desperate or pathetic at this point. No, at this point, I just wanted him where his fingers were. If his fingers felt that good, how would the rest of him feel? Sign me up for that test.

His body shifted on top of me, and the next thing I knew, I was being pinned to the bed by Seth’s body. Seth’s hot, tan, muscled body. Did I mention hot?

I felt his blazing hot tip press against my entrance, and it made me want to explode. I had never wanted anything more than I wanted this man inside of me, and now. Seth froze, his body stilling above mine for a brief second, as if he was debating something.

If he stopped now, I was certain I would just die.

He didn’t disappoint me.

He pushed inside, my walls slowly stretching to accommodate his size. Being with him like this didn’t disappoint.

“Oh, God,” he groaned, dropping his forehead against mine.

I moved my hips, tilting them back to let him slide all the way into my body, joining us completely.

“Uhgh, Seth,” I moaned, making I’m sure what was an unrecognizable noise as I slid my hands down his back.

I could feel a tiny amount of sweat on the surface of his skin, but it was in no way gross. I pulled and tugged at him, wanting him closer and tighter against me. I couldn’t get him close enough to me as he began to move. His arm wrapped around my stomach, drawing our bodies together completely as he began to find a steady rhythm that soon had both of us completely quiet.

Holy hell.

My leg went around his waist without my permission – not that I minded. It tilted my pelvic bone in a way that only made him slide deeper into me, giving my body another ripple of raw pleasure.

“Fuck, Regan,” he practically growled.

Goose bumps rose up on my skin again at the deep, needy timbre of his voice. I had never heard him sound like that before, and it made my nether regions twitch with desire for him. His mouth on my breast made my head fall back against his pillow again and my brain stop working. My hand glued itself around his bicep that was holding him up, feeling the muscles bend and flex beneath it. As if he could get any more appealing, the pattern he set against my body was sending my senses reeling. The heat and darkness in the room made it feel like a sauna, but that didn’t bother me; instead, it cocooned me in a feeling of steamy euphoria as he rocked his body against mine.

And then he grabbed my leg, hitching it around his muscled hip. I wasn’t even aware that hips had muscles, for shit’s sake.

But Seth’s did.

Oooh, did they ever.

My leg molded to his hip and back like clay, tilting my pelvis in just the right way. His thrusts sent me reeling again, my eyes falling shut and another moan leaving my mouth. Oh, the noises this boy could coax from my lips…

Seth raised himself up as he thrust, his eyes closed in the dim light. From what I could see, he was definitely enjoying himself, which only made my own feelings that much more intense. He liked being with me like this. I know I should be thinking, “Well, duh, the guy likes getting laid,” but I wasn’t. I felt different to be with him like this; it didn’t feel cheap. Or easy. Or careless. It felt right.

And then…

He came back down to me, pressing his hot, silky chest against mine, kissing me sweetly on the lips. His lips pressed against mine gently, his movements stilling as if he was savoring it – savoring kissing me. A soft groan left his mouth as he lazily kissed me again, his full, plump lips dragging across mine. I couldn’t help but feel like that kiss meant something. No, I wasn’t just a useless fuck to him. A guy had never kissed me like that during sex – ever.

And then…

“God, I love you.”

Good thing he bent down to kiss my neck, for I’m sure my eyes nearly bulged out to the ceiling.

What? Who says that? Who says that during sex?

Romance novel characters, that’s who.

I barely had time to freak out, before he put his mouth back on my breast and did something to my nipple that made me forget coherent thought.

Suddenly, I realized something: I was seriously close to having an actual orgasm during sex. Sure, guys had gotten me off in the past using their hands, but…I had never managed to achieve that same feeling of fireworks during sex. Unfortunately, most of my romps were in the backseat of a car, and well…we usually didn’t have much time for the details. I had never had an orgasm this way, and it may sound silly, but I was psyched. I temporarily forgot all thoughts of the three little words and focused on the tightening in my abdomen. Seth slowed his movements, thrusting slower and deeper, as if to help me get where I needed to be. He continued teasing my chest, varying between licking and sucking, and it felt marvelous. My body began to climb.

Oh, so this is really happening.

The unmistakable sensation slammed into me, sending all of my senses reeling.

I could see his spiky, tousled hair outlined in the dark, reminding me of how I had run my fingers through it and messed it up.

I could smell his masculine, clean scent as his breath blew over me and his body molded with mine.

I could hear his labored breaths and tiny moans every time I clenched against him.

I could feel the heat – the blinding heat – against my skin as he throbbed inside of my feminine walls.

I could taste him on my lips – the spicy, coffee-tinged flavor that was so distinctly Seth.

He was more than I could take, but something I would never willingly let go. Talk about a double-edged sword.

I urged my mind to stop thinking and instead, focus on how he was giving me the most mind-numbing orgasm of my life. Literally, my brain had stopped working, and I was only able to feel his cock going in and out of me at a tantalizingly slow pace and his lips as they teased my chest. I felt paralyzed with the intense waves of bliss as they rolled over my body, coming to a climax where our bodies were joined. The searing hot connection between us was tangible as he moved within me, thrusting slowly against my hips. I gripped his shoulders as I came, unable to even whimper.

And then…as if my own climax wasn’t enough, I felt him exhale sharply. His body shook slightly, shuddering with release as his own orgasm wracked his body. I clung to him as we came together, still unable to move, or really even think.

I heard Seth groan slightly above me, his stomach contracting with the large breaths he was taking to calm himself. His forehead dropped to my chest, and I could feel the droplets of sweat that had pooled there. It felt amazing to know that I had been the cause of them.

Raising his head, he looked down at me in the dim light, his eyes searching. What was he looking for? Disappointment? Hell no. I could die a happy woman at the ripe old age of eighteen now.

I closed my eyes in exhaustion, only to feel his nose press against my cheek. His warm breath blew across my skin, coating me in his warmth. I could feel my body shaking slightly as we lay there, still completely connected. I don’t think either one of us wanted to break the bond we had formed, both physical and not.

And then…he kissed me.

Not just on my lips.

But everywhere.

As if this man was not perfect enough, he kissed me.

He kissed my cheeks. My nose. My forehead.

He had gotten me; he had conquered me in the most intimate of ways, and yet…I could still feel how much he wanted me.

He still wanted me.

His forehead dipped again, resting one mine for another moment or two, before he rolled off of me, collapsing on the soft sheets with a sigh. Immediately, I felt empty, but I didn’t protest. Something twisted in my stomach, but it wasn’t anything I was used to feeling. It was need. However, it was different this time. This time, it wasn’t laced with fear and regret. He wouldn’t leave me in the middle of the night, or drop me at my house after curfew, or sneak out before dawn. No…I still needed him, but I knew he would always be there.

My breath was shaky with uncertainty. He'd said he loved me. Did he mean it? Did I love him back?

Of course I did.

I’d have to be crazy not to. Who wouldn’t love Seth Clearwater?

I did, though. I did love him. As crazy as it was, as absolutely insane as it was to love him…I did.

I sat up on my elbow, needing to see him. Moonlight poured through the windows, making it a little easier for me to see him in the blackness.

He lay there on his back, his arms at his side, still breathing ragged. His eyes were burning holes into the ceiling of the large white room, and I felt a pang of uncertainty. Was he mentally berating himself for giving in to me? Was he already regretting it all?

The small space between us on the bed suddenly felt like a canyon.

I fell back on the pillow, content to at least share this space with him for the night. Claire would need to sleep off her hangover, and I knew he probably told Sue I was….taken care of. He was an adult, after all, and he always thought of those things.

I still was left unsure.

“Commere,” he urged, and a split second later, his hot hand was wrapped around mine.

He pulled me towards him, including his other hand in the effort. I found myself against his warm chest, the feeling of it soothing, compared to the chilly room around us. I twisted my leg against his, seeking warmth. His house was cold. In the few minutes I was close to him, my body had almost overheated. Being away form him made me feel almost corpse like.

Laying my head on his chest, I could feel his heart thumping in his chest. As if by habit, I let my hand cover his beating heart, feeling its rhythm. It was so strong. It thudded against my hand, its strong beat lulling me to sleep.

“Am I too hot for you?”

I shook my head no, my eyes already drifting shut as I listened to his steady heart beat. As I drifted off to sleep, one thought both haunted and comforted me.

I was in love with Seth Clearwater. And now that I’d had him, I’d do anything to keep him.


	37. Chapter 37

Regan

I'd never had sleep like the sleep I had after what had happened between me and Seth. It was deep and full of restful, but I did have the most vivid dreams I'd ever had. I dreamt of him, my mind replaying bits and pieces of our night together, giving me teasing images of what could happen next. I dreamt of us together, never having to be apart and pretend that we didn't feel the way we did about each other. I dreamt of a happy life - one with Seth in it for always.

When my body finally did remember that it hadn't been a dream at all, it slowly became aware of Seth's delightfully hot body pressed up against my back. He was spooning me; his body was curled against the back of mine, resting flush against the curves of my legs and rear. I could feel his soft breath blowing against the delicate hairs on my neck; he had pushed my hair further up onto the soft pillow so that the tip of his nose was pressed to the sensitive skin there. It was almost as if he was breathing in my scent. Not that it mattered to me; I was subconsciously basking in the glow that suddenly surrounded me and Seth Clearwater.

As far as I was concerned…Seth could do whatever he wanted to me for the rest of time.

As I lay there in that peaceful place between dreaming and being awake, blurry pictures of what had just happened came to the front of my mind. It was real. It was all real. Even half asleep, my body was aware of him. His scent invaded my nose, his warm, sinewy body was pressed up against mine, and pictures of him clouded my sleepy eyes.

I was vaguely aware in my subconscious wanton state that I was chewing my lip. It was like I was watching what had just happened in third person – his lips moving against mine, our bodies crashing together in synch. It was amazing that we had been so tense around each other and so unsure of what was going on between us. Yet, as soon as we had coupled in reckless oblivion, we had been completely unaware of anything else around us. I hadn't cared anymore. In all honesty, I was so tired of trying to resist Seth. The constant pull toward him was wearing on my resolve, and had been for months. I knew it wasn't right to feel the way I did about him, but I didn't care anymore.

Consequences be damned.

I was falling for Seth, and I didn't care what anyone thought now. Granted, this was probably something I should have come to grips with before I slept with him…but really, what had just happened had only solidified my decision.

In my world, sleeping with someone usually made things worse…but I could only hope that tonight would make things better. Perfect, even.

Over and over, my mind showed me flashes of what had happened. It was like watching a highlight video of the best play, but this definitely wasn't football. Seth's wide, lust ridden eyes the first time he saw my black bra. The feeling of his warm lips as they dragged down my neck…sucking on my collar bone…kissing behind my ear. The way his fingers had practically read my mind…his hot hands running down my sides… It was all almost too much. Almost.

Sex with Seth was just so different. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life. He wasn't like the others; honestly, if I had known that's what it would be like, I don't think I would have even waited. I would have jumped him much sooner than I had.

As I sleepily thought back to the others before him, I couldn't even compare them to Seth. For starters, he had actually known how to please me…I could count on one hand the number of guys that had done that to me, and I had definitely been with more people than I had fingers. In fact, it was almost like he was reading my mind when it came to what I needed to reach my peak. I could feel myself growing more and more turned on, just thinking about how good he had felt between my legs. I pressed my nose farther into his pillow as I listened to his steady breaths against the back of my neck. His arm was still around my waist, holding me to him in the chilly room, and our legs were clumsily tangled together. His legs were so much longer than my own that I'm sure it would have looked comical, but I didn't care. I felt so safe right now that I really didn't care about anything. Being with Seth in the most intimate of ways had made me feel safe and almost even cherished…and that was something I hadn't felt in a long time – at least, not intimately.

In my dreamlike state, I slowly became aware that my body had begun to react to my thoughts. Seth must have felt it, too; as I slowly awoke, I could feel him start to stir against me. He stretched in his sleep, but still clung to my back, his warm, muscled body forming a protective cocoon around me. His body was hard, yet inviting. In all honesty, I don't think anyone could find his body unappealing. I truly believed that the lines of his abdominal muscles curving down his pelvis would make an eighty-year-old nun sit back and revaluate.

Oh, Seth.

He sighed, and then sucked in a breath of air against my neck. It made me shiver and tense as I slowly woke up, becoming somewhat conscious again. My heart began to pound, my mouth got dry, and goose bumps rose on my skin. God, even my skin reacted to him.

The room was very dim as I opened my eyes, realizing that it wasn't yet dawn; the room was still cloaked in the silver, pre-morning haze. I stretched myself and sighed, closing my eyes again. I pulled his arm around my middle tighter as I continued to think about what Seth had been like. I could have stayed with him forever, just like that. I didn't think I would ever be bored again. I had enough mental imagery to last me a decade, and we were in a mostly dark room. He had been just that amazing. If he disappeared off the planet tomorrow, I would happily spend the better part of a decade writing trashy romance novels in his honor.

My center began to clench and tighten in lust as I wished I could go back and relive our time together. I pressed my lips together as I felt my insides begin to tingle with the familiar feeling of need. Seth sighed again, and I could feel him groan slightly in his sleep. As if to torture me, I realized we were both still quite naked from before. His manhood twitched, as it began to harden against my bottom, and I pressed my lips together and laid against the pillow to try to go back to sleep. Seth wasn't making it easy. He shifted against me, rubbing his hardness between my legs. I tried my best to ignore it, but even in his sleep, I had to admire his stamina.

After several long minutes, lying there with his raging hard on pressed against my backside, I felt him stir slightly, signaling that he was waking up. I jumped slightly when I felt his mouth sleepily press against my shoulder; even his lips were searing hot. It felt amazing.

"Reg?" he muttered groggily in my ear.

I nodded, still biting my lip as my core began to tingle excitedly. I knew it was stupid for me to want him again so soon, but I couldn't help myself. I'd had a taste, and now, I simply wanted more.

Again, consequences be damned.

"Regan?" he asked, waking up further.

I turned my head to look over my shoulder at him as he lay behind me in the darkness.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Seth…I…."

I opened my mouth to speak right about the time I think he figured out that he was sporting a huge woody and it was poking me in the butt, but he didn't seem to care. Instead, he shocked the hell out of me and began to kiss the crook of my neck that was closest to him. I shouldn't have been surprised that he wanted to take advantage of the situation we were in as much as I did, but I was. Did he want this as much as I did? The way his body reacted against mine told me yes.

The more kisses he feathered on my neck, the more turned on I got. The feeling of his lips as they kissed and sucked on the soft skin behind my ear and on my shoulder gave me goose bumps and made a jolt of electricity run down my spine. It was the best feeling ever. I sucked in a breath as one of my hands reached out to grip the sheets next to me.

I felt his mouth form the shape a signature 'Seth' smile against my shoulder in between kisses.

"Do you like that?" he whispered in the darkness. It wasn't cocky or self assured; I knew that he was genuinely asking.

I nodded, knowing he would feel the movement of my head on the pillow.

He chuckled to himself softly, kissing me again on the back of my neck. Seth began to move his pelvis against my bottom, lodging himself between my legs after several thrusts. Just the feeling of his throbbing member against the outside of me made my body quiver in anticipation.

I felt like I was having an out of body experience as I heard myself whimper slightly. I wasn't the kind of girl who whimpered – especially not in times like this. I hated making noise when I was in the middle of fooling around or sex, and I tried to keep my lips sealed as much as I could. I had always wanted to keep myself from doing something embarrassing. However, Seth made my vow of sexual silence quite difficult. He moved his pelvis again, making us both react when the tip of him came in contact with my center.

"God, Reg….what are you doing to me?" he murmured against my back. His hands came alive and began to run up and down my stomach, as he gently thrust against my outer folds.

I felt myself continue to quiver in anticipation. He reached up with his hand and cupped my bare breast, squeezing it slightly. I felt myself shudder again as his mouth began to suck on the spot just below my ear. I couldn't take it anymore, and I didn't want to.

"Ulgh…Seth I need…"

"What?" he asked after a slight pause.

I knew he knew what I needed, but the urgency in his raspy voice let me onto the fact that he wanted to hear me say it. My breaths were coming out in quick little pants, for I was almost certain that I was more turned on now than I had ever been.

"Ah," I groaned into the pillow.

His hot fingers rolled the tip of my nipple, and I thought I was going to combust if we didn't do something, and soon.

"You, you…" I finally managed to moan the word twice.

He nodded against my back, and I could feel his body weight shift as he positioned himself at my entrance. His hand came around my front to gently push down on my abdomen, and he slowly sank himself into me with one slow motion. I hissed in relief and pleasure as I felt my body acclimate to his for the second time that night. I felt like I was going to die or explode or cry if he didn't move soon…or maybe all three.

As If he was reading my mind, he began to slowly move himself in and out of me from behind. We were still in the same position we had been while we were sleeping, and I was pleasantly surprised with it. I didn't even know that people could have sex this way, but I was sure enjoying it so far.

He exhaled against the back of my neck, making even more shivers run up and down my spine. The entire front of his body was pressed up against the back of mine, and it was incredibly hot. I felt like I was on fire, even in the chilly room. But it was a good fire. If being this warm meant being with Seth like this, then I would take it.

His hot hand trailed down my body as he moved against me, still taking time to kiss and suck at my neck. It was pure bliss. I bit down on my lip as his hand moved to grasp my hip firmly, pulling me harder against him. Seth moved in and out of me, sometimes varying his thrusts, but always using just the right amount of speed and pressure that I needed. There was no denying that he was good in bed. My mind briefly wondered exactly how he had gotten to be this way. Was it because he had been with that many people? Or had one girl in particular taken the time to teach him? Had they taught each other? I didn't have long to think about it, as my orgasm built inside my core, Seth's hot hands guiding me further and further.

His thrusts were gentle, but with purpose; I could feel his own need and urgency in them. I realized as he gripped my hip and held me closer to him that he needed me as much as I needed him. The thought of that alone made me grip the sheet in front of me even harder. His breathing sped up slightly as he sped up his movements.

I felt him reach up with his other hand, and then I heard the sound of skin gripping something metal. The headboard. Seth added more force behind his movements as he gripped the wrought iron bars of the headboard above me, sending waves of pleasure over both of us.

"Oh," I gasped, as he buried himself to the hilt of my feminine center. His hand reached up and pressed me even closer to him, as his mouth nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin of my neck.

"Regan," I heard him moan.

It was in the background, though… The A-bomb could have gone off, and I wouldn't have noticed – or cared, for that matter. All I could focus on right then was Seth, the heat emanating from him, and the tightening in my abdomen. I turned my head into the pillow to muffle the scream that slipped out as I clenched myself around his member. It was almost too much. Almost.

Seth groaned into my neck as I rode out my climax, not wanting it to end.

"More," I gasped, reaching my hand down to grasp his where it was resting on my hip.

His fingers dug into my skin as he increased his speed, his length meeting my warmth with a satisfying tingle each time. I turned my head slightly, opening my eyes so that I could look at him. We were still on our sides, so it was difficult, but I managed to catch a glimpse of his hooded, lust-ridden brown eyes as he moved inside of me.

A wave of pleasure jolted through me as I felt my cheeks redden under his gaze. Seth's warm lips immediately brushed against my temple as I moaned, feeling the familiar wave of ecstasy begin to wash over me for the second time. As if he knew I was steadily climbing again, he reached his hand forward and began to rub me where I wanted him to the most. My legs jerked, and I moaned. Seth grunted in approval of my reaction to his movements.

"Shit, Reg…I'm…I'm gonna…."

"Seth," I moaned through clenched teeth. I could feel my orgasm coming; I was at the brink of it, about to be pushed over. I knew Seth would be waiting for me.

"I need you," he moaned into the back of my head, his thrusts frantic. "Reg, tell me you need me," he panted desperately.

I closed my eyes and tried to leave all my inhibitions behind, as hard as it was. My body was begging me to let go, and now, all I had to do was get my mouth to accommodate.

"Ah, Seth, I need you," I obliged quickly. My cheeks still burned with a deep crimson blush as I heard myself say the words. Saying them out loud made them true.

I felt my center spasm, and waves of pleasure and satisfaction came over my entire body. My feminine core seemed to glow with release as he joined me in my bliss; a few final thrusts, and he came as well. I cringed slightly at his size as his throbbing cock spasmed with his own orgasm, stretching my body. As I came down, he joined me. The only sound in the room was our labored breathing as we tried to prolong our bliss.

No words were spoken. I felt him slip out of me after several moments, our sweaty bodies no longer joined. I was tired and damp with perspiration, my hair matted against my face, my body flushed with heat, and yet – I had never felt more beautiful or loved. I would never forget the way he had cherished me. Even if I wasn't sure if I loved him back, I knew that he loved me and that I didn't have to be ashamed of what we had just done. I didn't care if he was too old for me, or that no one could know about us. I didn't care that every alarm in my brain was going off that this wasn't right, and that I shouldn't be here with him. Making love to Seth was the best thing I had done up until that point, and I knew I would never be the same.

We fit together like two puzzle pieces, and I never wanted to be alone again.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

There's no sound in the world quite like that of vomit hitting toilet water.

My eyes flashed open. Where was I? The room was bright, but not one that immediately recognized. I blinked several times, trying to focus my still-bleary eyes.

Seth's arm tightened around my stomach. Oh, right…Seth.

Mmm…I thought, sighing deeply. How could I forget? I let my eyes drift closed again, thinking thoughts of tan muscles and sexy black hair…

There it was again. Vomit hitting toilet water. I sat up, brushing my hair out of my face. I turned, glancing over my shoulder, to see Seth, sprawled on his side, fast asleep. If I thought he looked beautiful awake, he was twice as picturesque while he was asleep. His sculpted cheekbones sloped gently up, drawing my eye to his black eyelashes against his cheeks. His full, soft lips were parted just slightly as he breathed deeply, obviously in a deep sleep. His tan, muscled arm stretched across the mattress, a stark difference against the white sheets.

I would stare all day if I didn't control myself.

Grabbing his button down shirt off the floor at the foot of the bed, I realized that Seth even smiled in his sleep. I hoped that I had something to do with that. While my stomach twisted uncomfortably at the idea of leaving a half naked Seth in his bed, the sound of my hung over, vomiting best friend wasn't easy to ignore. I pulled on my underwear from the night before, tip-toeing out the door of Seth's bedroom. I found Claire, hunched over the toilet in the hallway bathroom.

"I'm dying," she replied, her voice echoing into the basin.

I stooped down, touching her forehead. She was burning up.

"Are you all right?"

"No. Didn't you hear me say I'm dying?"

I sat down next to her, wincing as I flushed the toilet. She cringed at the noise, covering her face with her hands.

"Can I say I told you so?"

Claire looked up at me, scowling like thunder. "No," she practically growled.

I patted her shoulder, tactfully avoiding getting in the way of her next round of dry heaves.

"Why did you do this, Claire?"

"Because I hate Quil."

"I know that's a lie."

"No, it isn't. I hate him…and I hate life in general….ooooh…" she groaned, sitting back against the cabinet. I watched as she put her face in her hands again, wincing at what I was guessing was a massive hangover at this point.

"What did I do to myself?"

"You and tequila became quite good friends, dear." I reached over, brushing some hair out of her bleary, bloodshot eyes.

"Why are you doing this to him?" I whispered. I didn't know what they were fighting about, or even what had happened. All I knew was that they were killing each other.

"He hurt me, Regan. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad…it's bad," she whispered back to me.

I nodded, turning away slightly as she dry heaved into the toilet some more. I jumped a little when I saw movement in the doorway.

"Seth," I said, visibly surprised.

He stared at me from where he stood in the doorframe, his dark eyes wide and surprisingly awake. "You're up," he noted, his voice tinged with sadness.

I nodded, shrugging in the direction of Claire. He nodded as well, his expression dropping a little. I looked away, feeling my cheeks burn slightly. Would things be different now? I couldn't help but secretly hope to myself that he was sad that we hadn't woken up together in the same bed for the first time. I wasn't much of a romantic, but that would have at least been nice.

After a few more minutes, Claire stood up, washed her face, and I helped her downstairs. I could smell the scent of slightly burnt toast coming from the kitchen, and I led her down to where Seth was pouring three cups of coffee.

"I hope you're happy," he muttered to Claire as she walked into sight.

She grunted at him, grasping onto her cup of coffee he had handed to her like her life depended on it.

"Bite me," Claire spat.

I jerked my gaze over to Seth, who looked surprised. It wasn't like Claire to be so mean; sure, she was usually a little on the sassy, mouthy side, but she was never intentionally mean. I knew that whatever she was going through with Quil must be really bothering her.

I watched as Seth poured himself more coffee, the sinewy muscles of his arms moving under his tan skin as he reached for the sugar. He met my gaze, a tiny smirk decorating his mouth as I hurriedly looked away. Great…because that wasn't awkward.

Seth continued moving around the kitchen, making a few pieces of toast and putting them out on a plate.

"You'll feel better if you eat some," he urged softly to Claire, who merely growled in response.

I picked up a piece of toast, grabbing a jar of peanut butter that was sitting out on the counter. I began smearing it on top, when Seth looked up.

"You really do that, too?"

I felt myself smile a little, and I began to blush as I grinned down at the butter knife. "I told you I did," I laughed, continuing to make my breakfast.

The sides of his mouth turned up into a half smile, and he looked away. I began to panic a little; how would things be if Claire wasn't slumped over the kitchen counter, hung over and hating life? What would Seth and I be talking about right now? Or would we even be talking? I looked away as I felt my cheeks turn even more red.

Suddenly, there was a strange yipping sound from the other side of the house. Seth's eyes darted up, and he moved to look out the window. I looked over at Claire, who was wincing miserably.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

I looked to Seth, who had a concerned look on his face as he shuffled around the kitchen to where Claire was hunched over her coffee.

"He's here. You gotta talk to him, Claire. You're killing him."

"Fine," she grumbled, pushing away from the counter. I listened as she stomped down the steps to the front door, cursing under her breath the whole time. The front door closed with a loud slam that rattled the whole house.

Seth's gaze wandered over to me, his eyebrows rising up on his forehead. "Hey," he said softly, his voice raspy with morning-ness.

I felt a smile creeping up on me as I stared at him across the counter, suddenly bashful. "Hi," I replied, suddenly aware that I was standing in nothing but my underwear and his button down shirt.

"I should…go put some clothes on," I whispered, motioning to the driveway, where we could hear Quil and Claire talking.

Seth's face went a little blank as his eyes trailed down the line of my neck and chest, lingering on the place where the top button lay fastened, just above my breasts. I blushed harder as my body began to imagine the feel of his fiery skin against mine.

"I'm gonna…" I trailed off, motioning upstairs.

I scurried back up to his room, surveying the tangled bed sheets and clothes strewn all around. If it was possible to blush more, I did. I unbuttoned his shirt, pulling my own clothes back on, tossing the shirt on the bed. It was white, cotton, and quite soft. I imagined it was one that he wore often; it was one that fit him perfectly, showing off his tan skin and just enough skin to be classy, yet risqué, all at the same time. It was perfect.

I picked it up, feeling the soft cotton on the pads of my fingers. Lifting it to my face, I inhaled deeply, savoring the scent. It smelled like manly soap – the kind that was rough and blue and used for removing mud and dirt and grease; but also, it was laced with his familiar fresh, sandalwood, and smoke scent that had become so comforting to me over time. Without another thought, I shoved it into the bottom of my oversized purse and hurried downstairs.

"Hey, can we talk?" he questioned as I stepped back into the white Cullen kitchen.

I felt myself blush. Damn.

"Um…sure. I figured," I stuttered.

"Right." He shrugged, looking away. "There's something…we need to talk about that…I…oh damn," he muttered, running a hand through his disheveled hair. He wore cut off khaki shorts and a ripped white t-shirt with no sleeves, and I could see his tribal tattoo on his bulging, muscled arm as he flexed and moved.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Regan…I…I just realized that last night…we didn't…use anything. Are you protected?" he asked, his face turning a shade of red I didn't recognize.

I felt the breath leave my chest.

"N-no," I stuttered, feeling my stomach drop.

The truth was, I had been on such a high the entire morning and night that I hadn't even thought about that. Our hormones and sexual urges had been racing; of course we hadn't thought to stop and think clearly. All of the stupidity that I thought was far behind me came racing back to slap me across the face.

Oh.

"Oh…" he breathed, the color draining from his face.

I blinked a few times, tearing my gaze away from his to silently freak out a little. This was not good.

"Regan…look…" he said softly, walking over to me.

He sat in the stool next to me and took my hands in his. I flinched slightly, feeling the warm sparks of electricity as his hands touched mine once again. My skin ignited in the most pleasant way, and I couldn't help but stare down at my hands in amazement. His touch was so magical to me sometimes…

I looked back up at Seth, about to say something, when we heard loud voices coming from the driveway. Seth's eyes flashed to the window, and he seemed to almost growl to himself.

"I'll be right back, okay?" he asked.

I nodded, overwhelmed as he began to move quicker than I had ever seen him move. In a flash, he was out of the kitchen, down the stairs, and tearing down the front steps of the house. I followed, only to be met with a full on screaming match in the driveway of the Cullen house. Seth stood, barefooted and wide eyed, at the bottom of the steps as he watched Quil and Claire scream in each other's faces.

"Just go, Quil! Just go! That's all you're good at! Leaving me when I need you the most!"

"I've never left you once, Claire Young! I've never done anything but be there for you!"

"Then be here for me now," she begged, holding her hands to her chest. "Be here for me now," she repeated, her voice nothing but a broken whisper.

"I couldn't be any more 'there for you' if I wanted to be! Don't you see?"

She shook her head, dropping her chin to her chest in defeat. "You don't get it."

"What is it that I don't get, Claire? I…argh…" he fumed, grabbing fistfuls of his own hair in a rage. He panted several times, and I watched as Claire's eyes widened.

"Quil…stop."

His head jerked up to look at her as another wave of…something…rolled over him. My heart began to pound as I watched Quil become as thunderously livid as I had ever seen a human become. His already tan skin turned a flushed, scarlet color as the anger boiled to the surface. In the corner of my eye, I saw Seth's panicked face turn to watch me as the anger overtook Quil. Claire choked out a miserable sob, turning away as Quil's body began to tremble. No, not tremble…quiver…shake. Hard.

It came over him in waves. All sense of normalcy left my mind as I stood frozen in fear, watching as something overtook the Quil I had known. Seth reached out, grabbing Claire's wrist as he yanked her back to stand closer to me. He positioned himself between Quil and us, holding out his hands.

"Quil…just relax…just…just stop, buddy…we have an audience…"

"Get out of here, Quil! Just leave! Like you always do…"

And those were the words that seemed to put him over the edge. Claire winced as another set of tears rolled down her cheeks, and I wanted to go to her, but I was frozen in place.

"I…c-can't…stop it," Quil muttered through the tremors. Ripple after ripple rolled over his tan skin, and then…then he began to blur. His shape shook for a second…

And then the world I thought had existed was ripped out from beneath my bare feet.

Time slowed like it would in a movie. The vibrant colors of the fall leaves around us faded away. Seth and Claire, standing only a few feet from me, faded away. All I could see was Quil's body as it blurred even more. There was a splitting sound, and I winced as I watched his skin explode from his bones, stretching and changing. I closed my eyes – to blink or cringe, I wasn't sure which – and in that split second, everything had changed.

In front of me stood a large, snarling wolf.

Not just any wolf…a huge wolf. A huge, dark brown, quivering wolf. It spat and snarled, quivering with the leftover anger from Quil, or what had been Quil. The breath left my chest in one whoosh, and I realized that whatever this gargantuan-sized animal was…it was Quil. It had to be – it was standing in his place, Quil's ripped, tattered clothes lying in a heap on the ground.

My mind refused to work as I stared into the eyes of the snarling beast.

My feet felt like they were concreted to the driveway as I watched Claire walk up to the beast. I wanted to cry out, to stop her, to do anything – but I couldn't. Fear had me completely paralyzed.

"You did this. Whatever happens now…you caused it," she whispered.

It growled at her, and I watched in slow motion as Claire hauled back and punched the beast in the muzzle. It flinched slightly, wincing as her fist made contact with its face.

It snarled again, its lips pulling back from its teeth, exposing the razor sharp lines. I panicked; it looked like it was going to attack.

"Get back!" I heard Seth order.

The animal shifted on its large feet, and then…then, my mind really began to play tricks on me.

Seth reared back, pushing Claire away. He stared up at the tall beast, his dark eyes wild.

"Stop this now. I'll do it…I'll put a stop to this now, and you know I will."

Seth's voice was no longer a friendly reminder, a helping hand in this horror. It was a warning. The wolf stared at Claire, as a loud growl ripped from its throat. It stayed planted in its place, but Claire still cowered away.

"Quil!" he urged, stepping closer to the beast. "Stop this now."

"He won't listen!" Claire wailed.

I gasped as Seth pushed her farther back towards me. I still couldn't move, for fear had its grip on me and wouldn't allow it.

"Stand back," he warned again to Claire.

His dark gaze caught mine, and I slowly realized what was going to happen.

"Don't hurt him," Claire half warned, half sobbed.

He nodded, giving me one last sad and mournful look, before he turned back to Quil.

"Last chance, Quil. Phase back and stop this."

The animal that I was now slowly starting to understand was Quil snarled in response, digging its claws into the ground. Claire let out a sob, the sound echoing off the nearby trees that lined the driveway.

Seth stood in front of the huge wolf, locking gazes with it. As his body began to blur and shake like Quil's, I felt my stomach drop again.

He was one of them, too.

Looking over his shoulder, he locked eyes with me. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

(np) My mouth fell open as I continued to watch his body tremor.

In a split second, I watched the man I had given myself to the night before…my best friend in the entire world…the man I loved…rip away from his own body in an explosion of clothing and fur. I heard my voice cry out and crack as he hit the ground on all fours. I barely felt Claire's arms encircle me, dragging me back towards the steps. I could only gape.

In front of Quil stood Seth…but not the Seth I knew.

No, instead, there stood a monster. A snarling, sandy colored monster, with teeth bared at the chocolate brown wolf in front of him. I winced and clutched at Claire, convinced I must be having an out of body experience. There was a lapse in time – was it minutes…seconds…hours? – as the two of them stared at each other.

Then, everything happened fast. Very fast.

Time blurred as I felt myself grow faint. Seth, the sandy colored mass, flew at Quil, the two creatures snarling and snapping their jaws at one another. Their massive paws kicked up gravel in the driveway, and I barely felt Claire pulling me farther away. I knew I was crying and babbling something about what was happening, but I couldn't make sense of any of it; Seth was there, and so was Quil, but they were wolves. Wolves.

They thrashed and tore at each other, their barks and snarls and snapping teeth the only sound in the Cullens' driveway. I hid my eyes against Claire's neck, grasping at her as she watched. When I looked back, the last thing I saw was a chocolate blur as the two monsters went crashing through the trees, still engaged in their fight.

"What…what…"

There was another sound at the end of the driveway, and my gut twisted. Did I want to know what it was? Opening my eyes, I cried out again in fear and anguish as two more huge wolves emerged from the trees. They walked slowly, almost cautiously, towards us as we cowered on the front steps of the porch.

"Oh my G-god, C-claire…" I stuttered, but her arms had already slackened.

"You're here," she said to them, her voice almost relieved.

She gave me a reassuring look, as I must have looked like I was going completely bonkers by now.

"It's fine," she assured me, standing up.

She walked slowly down the steps, her head cocked to the side, as if she was walking up to an old friend. The two gigantic wolves looked at her, cocking their heads in the most human…aware way I had ever seen. One was almost white, his coat speckled with splotches of gray, and the other was a darker color, closer to the color of the monster Seth had become. The latter animal went first, his body shuddering slightly. I began to cry out in warning to Claire, who still looked alarmingly calm.

The edges of his fur began to shake and blur slightly, and then…there stood Zeke. He was naked, his tan body cowered over slightly as he rose up on two legs again. Quickly, he untied a pair of cut off sweatpants from his leg and slipping them on, ignoring my shocked stare. I watched as the other wolf did the same thing – blurring, shaking – and then there stood one of the twins. Astin. He mimicked Zeke, pulling on sweats, as if nothing had happened.

"Hey, go check on them. Keep them from killing each other until Jake can get here, okay?" Zeke asked, pointing to the gap in the trees where the two fighting wolves had tumbled.

Astin gave me a smug grin, before trotting across the driveway and disappearing into the woods.

"What's with that? We were just patrolling, and then bam! Worse than a soap opera."

"Not now, Zeke. I can't handle this now…." Claire said, shaking her head. Wrapping her arms around herself, she shuddered. "He just phased. And then I punched him. I…I think I broke my hand."

Zeke reached out, prying her arm away from her body. Examining it, he nodded. "Yeah. Definitely a sprain. Hospital?"

She shook her head, looking back at me. "Nah, not yet. I think I should stay here. Maybe you should, too."

Zeke looked up at me, standing on the porch, and smiled shyly. "Yeah, sure. Someone needs to explain this whole mess. Jeez, fighting like cats and dogs, those two."

"This is more serious than that. I…last night was bad, and—"

"You don't have to tell me. I saw it in his mind last night. All night, going on about 'Claire this' and 'Claire that' and 'Claire hates me.' You're messing with his head; you know that, don't you?"

My head began to spin.

She knew. Claire knew what they were, and she didn't look the least bit concerned. Annoyed, yes, and even a bit insulted. But she didn't care. The look on her face as she walked calmly back up the porch with Zeke was unsettling.

"You don't know what it's like, Zeke. You couldn't know unless…"

A smile that rivaled most of the ones Seth had given me appeared on Zeke's face. "I wouldn't know unless what?"

Claire stared at him, the two of them ignoring me completely. Not that I could blame them. I was ready to slip myself into a straight jacket and toss away the key. No, my two friends just stood there and continued to chat, as if there weren't horse-sized wolves loping around the woods around us, tearing each other to shreds.

"You mean you—"

He nodded, his face growing even brighter. Claire's eyebrows shot up, and Zeke laughed. "Yeah. Last week. I…I guess I sorta should've…"

Claire's eyes shot to me. "We'll talk about this later. I think…Regan needs to go inside."

Zeke looked over at me, still grinning ear to ear. "Oh, yeah…sure."

I flinched as Claire touched me, gently pulling me up into a standing position. I couldn't stop staring at Zeke as he walked up beside her. There was something different about him now that I hadn't noticed before – something wild and uninhibited. Knowing that his tan skin could rip away from his body and result in…well, what I had just seen…changed him completely. It changed all of them for me.

Claire ushered me into the house, and I felt like I was walking into a dream. Nothing felt real anymore; I didn't know where the fairytales began and real life came in. No, everything was blurred together now. The lines had overlapped, leaving me reeling and feeling like I wanted to throw up and faint. The image of Seth exploding into the giant sandy monster in the driveway was burned into my mind; it just kept playing over and over and over…I blinked, walking up to the living room.

I had to try to keep it together.

"She's taking it well."

"Are you going to explain, or should I?" Claire asked.

Zeke shook his head as I sat down on the couch, still speechless. I couldn't have gotten my mouth to work if my life depended on it.

"I don't think it's my story to tell…" he said, trailing off. "He'll be back soon."

As if on cue, the front door slammed. I jumped, my body going stiff. I didn't want to know what was going to come up those stairs now that I knew…that things weren't how I thought they were. What would appear in the white living room? A centaur? A witch? Tinkerbell?

"I don't think she can talk yet," Zeke chuckled. He peered around the corner, his face lighting up. "Seth!"

My body stiffened more. He was back? He had survived becoming a giant wolf and going after Quil?

Seth walked into the white room, and instantly, my attention was on him and him alone. I barely noticed as Zeke motioned to Claire, who left me alone on the sofa. Soon, it was just the two of us alone, minus the elephant in the room. The big, wolfy-shaped elephant.

I sat, still paralyzed and wide eyed, as he strode over to me. He wore ripped sweatpants, and his body was covered in little cuts and scratches. Mud was smeared down the side of his face and covering one shoulder, and he had a few pieces of moss and debris in his hair. His eyes were wild, and there was a distinct 'outside' smell to him as he sat down on the coffee table in front of me. I felt myself calm down a bit as he came near me, but I still couldn't move.

I was in shock.

Seth looked at me as I stared at him. He was my Seth…but there was a whole other side to him that I obviously knew nothing about. I felt betrayed.

My eyes raked down his half naked body, widening slightly at the clearly pronounced, bloody half moon of teeth marks that glistened on his shoulder. My eyes widened as the skin stretched on its own accord and moved – actually moved – to cover the gashes that I assumed Quil had made on him. He glanced down at his shoulder as the skin scabbed over before my very eyes, disappearing within seconds as the wounds healed. In another blink of an eye, all that remained on his shoulder where the bites had been were a row of thin, pink scars.

I felt the breath leave my chest again in an amazed, wheezing sound.

His dark eyes flashed up to meet mine, and he smiled wryly. "Can you talk?"

I shook my head 'no.' I felt like my jaw had been wired shut.

He leaned forward on his knees, inches away from me. I could feel his warm, surprisingly still appealing breath on my face, and I could smell his familiar scent as it came back to him. Was he the man…or the monster?

"Regan…I have to tell you something."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x


	38. Chapter 38

Regan

"Can you talk?"

I shook my head 'no'. I felt like my jaw had been wired shut.

He leaned forward on his knees, inches away from me. I could feel his warm, surprisingly still appealing breath on my face, and I could smell his familiar scent as it came back to him. Was he the man….or the monster?

"Regan….I have to tell you something."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I gaped at him.

'Regan I have to tell you something' was a bit of an understatement. Just a bit. I swallowed hard, blinking my eyes that I'm sure were the size of saucers by now.

Seth's breath shook a little as he paused, kneeling before me.

"Can you talk yet?"

I swallowed again, trying to moisten my throat to speak. A pitiful, wheezing little squeak came out.

His lips closed as he pressed them into a thin line, his hot hand resting on my jean-clad knee. The heat of his hand seared through it, surprising me. Had it always felt that way? Did I just not notice?

I thought back as we stared at each other. All the weird little instances that I had caught him in over the past year suddenly made a lot of sense.

Not seeing him in shoes? Of course not, wolf horses never wear shoes. Smelling like the woods? Well, they're bound to rub off on you when you go tromping through them as a giant wolf.

It all suddenly came together.

"Say something…please?" he asked quietly. His dark eyes searched mine for approval, and for a moment I panicked. I had to get myself together - as freaked out as I was, I knew that in the back of my mind I had known all along. Well, maybe not the werewolf part, but I had to have known that something about the perfectness that was Seth Clearwater wasn't entirely human.

I had known.

What I knew I couldn't say…but I knew he wasn't what he said he was.

He seemed to read my mind. "You're…putting it together, aren't you?"

I nodded, looking back up into his dark eyes. He sighed, chewing his lip.

"Does this change…..oh…never mind."

I sighed, finally feeling my twisted up stomach settle down. "You're a werewolf. Of course this changes things."

He looked up, searching my face for signs I was angry. Scared. About to run screaming for the room.

And I was. I was angry I wasn't in on the secret, I was scared what this meant, but I wasn't going anywhere.

"I….I have to tell you some things now, Regan. Are you…are you ready to hear them?"

I gulped. I had a feeling my world was about to change. Was I ready for that?

"Can I have a second?"

He nodded, his normally happy face drawn and serious. I hate that I made him that way, and I knew I had to say something.

"I'm…I'm n-not scared of you," I finally choked out. "You…you can control…it, r-right?"

He nodded. "I've been shifting for over a decade now, since I was….fifteen. I'm….I'm very controlled with it.'

My breath caught in my throat as my mind raced to do the math. I still wasn't quite sure how old he was, but…how old could he be?

He could tell what I was thinking. His face studied mine, his features still drawn.

"How old are you?" I asked. He paused, looking away.

"Which answer do you want?"

"What does that mean?"

He looked back up at me. "Do you want my technical age, or my…other age," he asked awkwardly.

"Seth…."

"This…thing, I do," he stuttered, gesturing to himself, "keeps me frozen. Like this."

"What?"

My brain was still struggling to remember the meaning of words after what I had just witnessed.

"I'm frozen."

"You don't age? Ever?"

I couldn't believe my ears. If he told me he was like…a hundred years old or something, I was about to freak out.

"No. Not if I keep doing this…"

"So….can you stop?"

He looked up at me, his features questioning for a second before shaking his head. "Not yet."

"Oh," I stuttered, looking down at his hand on my knee. "So how old are you?"

"Twenty eight," he admitted. The tips of my ears burned. Holy shit, he was a whole ten years older than me. Shit, shit, shit…there was no way this relationship I'd dreamed up in my head would ever fly.

Frowning, I looked up at him. "What did you mean by your….o-other age?"

He paused, looking away for a second before shifting on his knees. His eyes moved to mine, pleading with me silently.

"Tell me….honestly," he said with a shaky breath. "How old do I look…to you? When you see me? How old would you guess I am?"

I let out another shaky breath. "You mean I'm not crazy? You don't really look almost thirty?"

He shook his head. "I….I changed this way….I phased," he admitted, choking the words out, "when I was fifteen. I changed then…my face got older…my body grew, and…and…I've looked this way ever since. I'm…frozen."

"So you…"

"How old….do you think I am? If you didn't know the real number."

"Twenty…two?"

He nodded. "That's what my mom says too."

I sucked in a quiet breath. "She knows?"

He nodded. "She was there when I….when Leah….yeah. She knows," he admitted.

I sucked in another raspy breath. "Wait…Leah…."

He shrugged. "It's her story to tell. But yeah. Her too."

"Are you all….?"

"No," he laughed nervously, shaking his head. "Just a few of us."

I nodded. "But…"

"I'll answer anything you ask me, Regs."

I looked up, somehow surprised to know that his nickname for me still sounded pleasant coming from his mouth. In fact, everything about him was still as attractive. Only now…now it was more mystical. Mysterious. But dangerous? No. I wasn't afraid of him. I should have run screaming from the room. Yet….for some reason I just sat there on his couch and stared at him in wonder.

"Why?"

He swallowed hard once again, his eyes never leaving mine. "Our tribe does it. Just when….danger is near. It's to protect….innocent people. It's our…duty."

I choked on my own spit a little. "Duty? You take that…pretty seriously then, huh? Being a cop and a….a…"

"Wolf. I'm just a wolf. I can control it, Reg. I'm not a….well, I guess I am kind of a…monster."

I shook my head vehemently. "No."

He looked up quickly, his eyes searching mine. "You're not a monster Seth. You could never be a monster."

He stared up at me, a distant spark lighting in his eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, say it."

It was his turn to gulp. "You couldn't mean that…you couldn't mean that after only seeing me….once."

I looked down, thinking back to the way he had scared me when his skin had ripped away from his body, exploding into a sandy ball. It had just startled me, I realized. Looking back down into his deep brown eyes I could still see him. I could still see Seth.

And I still loved him.

"I should get you home….Mom is probably worried."

I stood up, still shaky. "But Seth…you never said why. Why do you…why does that happen to you?"

He stood with me, growing to his full, hulking height in the center of the white living room. He looked more superhero than monster as he stared at me, visibly trying to think of what to say next.

"I said I'd tell you everything you wanted to know, and I still will. But….That's a question I don't think you want a real answer to, Regan."

"Why?"

"I….we do this…for a reason. It's to protect the people around here from….something. It's not usually much of a threat, but it does exist, just like us. A long time ago when Jake…needed to show Charlie what we were….he told him that he didn't live in the world he thought he did. Well, I mean…that's true. Very true. You don't live in the world you thought you lived in. If I tell you….everything will change, Regs. Do you want that?"

Did I?

Did I want things to change, when they had just recently gotten so good? I had admitted my feelings for Seth, and I could still feel the way his hot breath had felt on my ear when he said that he had loved me. Did I want to change things already?

"If this…thing, comes around…..can you guys stop it? This…monster?"

He nodded. "Of course. It's what we're meant to do."

I paused again, thinking to myself. He said they did this for a reason, and I had no reason to not trust Seth. If he said he would protect me, my gut told me to believe him.

Charlie always said to go with your gut.

I trusted Seth.

I trusted him with my life.

And, looking deep into myself, I knew something more important.

I trusted Seth with my whole heart.

"Then no."

I looked up, my voice startling both of us in the big, white room. He stared at me, his brown eyes questioning and his hands making lose fists at his side. Here we were, he was the monster and I was the one making him nervous.

He could never be a monster.

He would always be my Seth.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The bare forest flashed by, still slightly greenish with moss. It was almost winter, and Washington was still green. I could remember the way that thing….Seth's sandy fur had stuck out against the green.

I knew what Seth was. I knew what he was and it didn't really bother me. It mystified me and spiked my curiosity about him, but I wasn't scared. No, what he wasn't didn't bother me.

However, the ride to Charlie's house was….awkward.

What do you say to the person beside you the morning after you both forget to use anything?

I wasn't sure. So I didn't say anything.

He looked over at me, biting his lip as he drove. "It'll be okay," he reassured me.

I looked at him, surprised. Could this guy read my mind?

Immediately I thought back to my old high school in Phoenix. What had I thought of the girls my age with protruding bellies and absent boyfriends? I had thought they were stupid for not using something. Anything! There were condom dispensers in the bathrooms for shit's sake. Every time I saw one of those girls in the hallway I had thought, 'couldn't she have used something?'

And now here I was. One of those girls. Welcoming a panic attack the morning after, brought on by my own stupidity. I never thought that would happen to me, and yet here I was. Stupid girl.

Reaching over, he put his hand on top of mine as it lay across the Bronco's seat. Immediately the warmth flowing through his slightly roughened skin calmed me.

"We didn't use anything, Seth."

He nodded, biting his lip again. He turned down the street to Charlie's house, and I felt my stomach do a nervous flip.

"I….thought of that."

He swallowed nervously, putting the Bronco in park. The lights of Sue and Charlie's normally cozy house looked a bit daunting. I was suddenly afraid to go inside the first house that had made me feel like I was home. The sky had darkened as a familiar rainstorm rolled in, and the day darkened like my mood. Killing the engine, he sighed and leaned back against the seat, looking over at me.

"Are you scared?"

I nodded. "A little. But…there's no guarantee, right?"

He shrugged anxiously, looking up at the house. "I suppose not…but…."

He trailed off, biting his lip again as his hands gripped the steering wheel.

"What if…?"

I couldn't finish my sentence. It was too scary. What if I got pregnant?

"No," He argued back, shaking his head. He muttered something like 'fate wouldn't do that to me' and opened his door.

He walked around and opened mine, still clearly brooding about something. I'd give anything to be able to read his mind right now. What if this changed things between us. I hopped out of the Bronco, following him up the cement steps to the house. When we were on the front porch, his hand shot out and stopped mine as I reached for the door handle.

"Wait."

I looked up at him expectantly, shifting from one foot to the other. Last night I had felt like a vixen - an of age, sex starved woman who was finally getting her satisfaction. Today, I felt more like an awkward teenage slut.

It's amazing what a dark bedroom and a guy like Seth on top of you could do, I guess.

"I'm sorry."

I gaped up at him, the windy rain blowing against my cheeks. I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but inside the warm house. Then I would alone with nothing but my thoughts.

"What are you sorry for?"

"For this….for everything. Regan, you mean more to me than…"

"Than what?" I prodded.

He dug his hands into his pockets and shifted again. "Than anything else. I mean….what happened last night I…I don't regret, but…we should have been more careful."

"I know," I said slowly, looking down at the ground. I shrugged a little, using the tip of my boot to pick at the chipped paint of the porch.

His tan hand moved towards me slowly, cupping my cheek gently. My eyes drifted shut a bit, falling into his touch.

"You still mean the world to me…..but we shouldn't do that."

My eyes opened. "So…wait, what?"

He let his hand drop back down to his side. "I can't…..we….we shouldn't do that, Regs. We can still be friends, but….I can't take that risk with you. I shouldn't have….You know that."

What? I felt like a kid on Christmas morning who found out all of her toys required batteries and we had none. Was he joking?

I felt like he was being yanked away from me.

It was all too fast; too soon.

"So…last night meant nothing?" I asked, my voice already quivering.

He flew forward, embracing me so tight it felt suffocating, but good. Like a warm, cement cocoon. But no matter how good he felt, he was telling me that he couldn't be with me like that.

He didn't want me the way I still desperately wanted him.

"Don't ever think that," he whispered into the top of my head, rubbing his nose in my hair slightly. "Don't ever think you mean nothing to me. You mean more to me than you could ever know."

"So then why?" I asked, clutching the front of his shirt. I only wanted to love him, couldn't he see that? Couldn't he see that I only wanted to give him all of myself - every last little bit?

"Because…" he murmured, pulling away. He crouched down a little, staring forward into my wide eyes. "I can't…yet. Regan, I'm not getting any older. I'm not going to turn old and grey anytime soon. But you're…you're still in high school. You need to be a high schooler. I wish I could go back and be that with you, but I can't. You know that."

I nodded, blinking back the hot tears that were stinging my eyes. As much as this hurt and as badly as I didn't want to admit it, he was right. I had just turned eighteen, and technically he was twenty eight. Even though he looked young…it wouldn't make a difference to prying, outside eyes.

Because no matter how right this felt….I had to remember how it looked.

"I'd do anything to be there for you…you have to realize that."

All I could do was swallow back shameful tears.

"When Zeke held you in his arms and danced with you at your prom….that should have been me. I wanted it to be me. You looked so perfect…so pretty," he whispered into the top of my head. "I want to be there with you in high school. I'd go back to high school for you, you know that?"

"You couldn't mean something so awful," I half cried, half laughed.

I clung to him.

"I want to sit next to you and laugh and joke, just like every other eighteen year old. I never got that. I was phasing and fighting….well, I never got what you have. Every time I see Zeke I….I love that he can protect you if I'm ever not there, but….I want to strangle him. I want to be him."

"You do?"

"More than anything. I don't' want to be this monster, Regan….I want to be there for you. That's all I've ever wanted."

He leaned down further, pressing his lips to mine. I clutched his arms, desperately pulling him closer as he slowly moved his mouth against my lips, giving me the slowest, most passionate kiss I had ever received.

This kiss felt like goodbye.

He moaned softly as he stayed there, frozen. My mind scrambled to memorize the way he felt, the way he tasted, the way he smelled. My head grew dizzy as he gripped me around my waist, pulling my body against his. Again and again he kissed me, each time sweeter than the last.

We broke apart, both of us flushed and breathless. His arms dropped away from mine just in time as the front door swung open.

Charlie.

His eyes gave us a curious yet slightly accusatory glare as the door squeaked on its hinges.

"You're home," he observed, giving me a once over. It was a statement, but also a question. I could see his dark brown eyes questioning me as he stood behind the screen door watching us.

"Um, yeah, yeah…I'm home," I stuttered, trying to maintain my composure. Charlie made some sort of grunt and I took that as my cue to say my goodbyes.

"Well, I should get going," Seth mumbled. I glanced at Charlie and gave him a reassuring smile.

I nodded, wringing my hands nervously behind my back, trying to ignore Seth as he bore holes into the side of my head with his eyes. With a quick glance in his direction, I mumbled 'bye' and scurried inside.

Talk about awkward.

I hope Charlie didn't see my tear-stained cheeks.

If he did, he didn't say anything.

I slowed on the steps, listening to hear what Charlie was saying to Seth. He muttered something in his gravelly voice before closing the door. I rushed up the steps, slipping on the wood in my damp boots and into my room. Flinging the door open, I watched out my window as Seth's Bronco pulled away, chugging down the rainy street. Thunder rang out in the distance, and I felt…strange.

I felt hopeful, but sad at the same time. Last night had made me realize that Seth did care for me - and still would. But I felt a feeling of emptiness now that he was gone. I felt like my heart had been severed in half.

Calm down, Regan. He'll probably be here in a matter of days, begging for food like he always does.

Sitting down at my desk, I couldn't help but feel a little numb. So much had happened that….I could barely wrap my head around it.

First, I had definitely slept with my much older, much hotter, and clearly off-limits best friend.

Oh, I guess there was that werewolf thing too.

But honestly, that wasn't the part that bothered me the most about the entire situation.

The look on Charlie's face had said it all, and I couldn't really be upset with Seth for telling me that we couldn't be like that, at least not in front of prying eyes. He was just being sensible. Of course he couldn't be with me like that.

The way I wanted to be with him.

No, it was inappropriate.

Sure, I was eighteen and perfectly legal….but what would people think?

Did I care?

I could still hear his raspy breath against my ear, whispering that he loved me.

It didn't feel real.

Since when did my life resemble a crappy romance novel?

Two star-crossed lovers, torn apart due to the perils of love….

I scoffed at myself for being so stupid and….girly.

I wasn't that girl.

Was I?

I loved Seth, and he said he had loved me last night….whether or not it slipped out or was just a habit, I wasn't sure. Did he say that to just anyone? He certainly didn't seem like the type to do such a thing. But what if he had? What if the 'I love you' had been a mistake?

My stomach twisted.

It hadn't been any mistake.

I thought back to the heart-wrenchingly perfect kiss he had given me on the front porch before we had been caught, and I knew I was right.

You didn't kiss your mistakes like that.

I laid around all day, avoiding my homework and watching my shiny cell phone that Seth had given me, although…I'm not sure what I thought would happen. It wasn't like he was going to call me and ask me to hop on his back for a ride anytime soon. In fact, part of me was glad for the quiet time alone as I gathered up my thoughts. I mean, he was a werewolf. A giant werewolf. I was more bothered by the fact that the whole thing was actually sitting pretty well with me.

There was a soft knock on my door, and Sue poked her head in. I looked up from my desk, trying to maintain my poker face.

I had never been a particularly good liar.

She walked in, her dark brown eyes almost mirroring Seth's. "Dinner's almost ready," she said, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I eyed her, nodding casually.

"Okay, great, I'm starving."

I get it Sue. You're here to talk. Awesome. Now go away.

She looked at me, still silent. However, those deep brown eyes of hers were saying it all.

I had to bite my lip to keep from talking, because I knew I'd get myself in trouble.

"Last night…." she began, looking down at her lap. "Did everything go alright?"

I nodded slowly, still unsure of what to say. "Sure…um, Claire…needed to not go home," I admitted nervously. I didn't want to throw Claire under the bus, but what else was I supposed to say?

She nodded. "I hope you weren't in the same condition," she said slowly, avoiding my eyes.

My spirits lifted a little as I realized I was able to answer her honestly, and mean it.

"No, I wasn't. But I wanted to stay with her. I'm….I'm done being like that."

She nodded. "Fair enough," she said, standing up. Looking over her shoulder, she paused. "I trust my son took care of you girls?"

I swallowed. "Yes," I managed to squeak out.

Nothing got by Sue Clearwater.

"Alright," she said slowly, turning to leave. That one word said it all. She knew what happened the night before, because nothing ever got by her. She knew Seth's secret, and now she knew mine.

Shit.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Ahem."

Sue clearing her throat made me jerk my eyes up. Had I been staring at Seth's empty chair again? Crap.

I pushed a potato around my plate, pretending to be really interested in it as I sat at dinner with Sue and Charlie that night. Again my eyes flashed to the chair were Seth normally sat.

"No one was driving, were they?" Charlie asked, his gruff voice breaking through my thoughts.

I shook my head, taking a sip of iced tea. "No, they weren't."

"Regan was the responsible one," Sue chimed in quietly, giving me a nod. "She took care of Claire."

"She was drunk, hmmm?"

"Maybe."

"What's going on with that girl? I caught her skipping class up at the diner last week."

Sue shrugged, spearing a piece of broccoli with her fork. "Sometimes young girls go through rough times."

"But she used to be such a good kid. Since when do good kids disappear from school…and…and get drunk?"

Charlie seemed quite baffled.

I shared a look with Sue and kept my mouth shut.

"Such a good kid…"

"Charlie." Sue's voice was a warning tone that time.

"Should you be hanging around with her?" he asked me. I looked at Sue for help.

"She's going through a rough time," she repeated, her voice a little louder this time.

"But she's on the honor roll!"

"Does that keep her from making a few bad decisions? Happens to all of us. I believe Bella even had a rebellious phase, didn't she?"

Charlie's mouth snapped shut. He made a huffing noise into his moustache, but said nothing as he shifted in his chair. The creaking of the wood was like the bell at the end of a boxing match.

Game, set, match. Maybe next time, Charlie. I grinned at my plate.

Nothing got past Sue Clearwater.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After watching Charlie get his ass verbally handed to him by his wife, I felt a little better after dinner. Retreating to my room, I fished Seth's shirt out of my large purse and held it up. The material was soft under my fingers, and I could almost picture the way it would cling to his tan muscles. Lifting it up, I ignored the urge to feel silly as I inhaled deeply, trying to memorize the scent. It smelled….wild, but comforting. Just like Seth.

I understood the wild part - he was basically a werewolf that could control his change.

But why was he so comforting to me? Even when I was upset with him for suggesting that last night was wrong, I still felt so complete and safe when I was around him. I wanted to be angry with him and hate his guts. But…I couldn't. I knew if he showed up right then and there that I would throw myself into his arms and….be comforted.

Was I crazy?

I tried to convince myself that I was. I mean, he could explode into a giant dog. Why didn't that frighten me more? Instead, all I could picture was his warm, soft brown eyes and tan, muscular body. I could hear his soft, soothing voice and feel his kind hands on my body…..

No, I could never hate Seth.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The next day, I sat at the lunch table, eyeing Zeke. He was stuffing his fourth sloppy Joe into his mouth while Claire sat beside me, scowling into her soup. Lexi looked on, completely unamused.

I watched him eat, wondering if he had better table manners as a dog.

"I'm not going to burst into one here at the lunch table, if that's what you're wondering," he said through a full mouth. He wiped his lips and chugged half of his soda.

I turned away, giving Lexi and Claire pointed looks. Apparently they were in on the secret too. Brady had told Lexi several weeks ago, and Claire had known most of her life. I felt betrayed and left out.

"You couldn't have told me?," I said, giving both of my girlfriends an accusatory glare.

Claire shrugged. "It's not our secret to tell, Regan."

Lexi nodded. "Brady would have killed me," she said slowly. "I am sorry Regan."

I watched as she smiled sympathetically at me, my stomach turning as I realized I had now officially slept with two werewolves. Only me, I swear.

"It's alright. I just…got the shock of my life," I muttered. I looked sideways at Claire, who was looking out the window with a rather glum expression on her face.

"Did you talk to Quil?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Nothing has really changed…"

"Give it time," Lexi offered. Claire and I looked up at her, both giving her a scowl as we realized her advice would technically apply to both of us.

"Sorry," she muttered, turning back to her lunch.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Claire looked at me blankly. "He just….sees me for what I was. Not for who I want to be. I don't want to be a baby forever. I'm eighteen years old and I want him to treat me like I am."

I bit my lip. I still hadn't breathed a word of what had really happened between me and Seth to anyone. How would it look to my best friend when I waltz into Forks and get my way with an older guy I've known for five minutes, and she is still waiting for Quil to notice her? I knew that wouldn't make her very happy, so I kept my mouth shut. She seemed like she had enough on her plate for now.

I picked at my salad and watched the rain slide down the glass of the Forks High cafeteria. I didn't feel much like eating, and there was too much to think about anyway. Like how I should be afraid of Seth and all the other La Push guys now.

But I wasn't.

I was fascinated by it.

Seth was right - I really didn't live in the world I thought I did. But what did I do with that information? I knew I couldn't tell, and I certainly wouldn't. But I couldn't help but wonder who knew. He said his mother knew, and Charlie. Leah was one of them too, so obviously she was in on the secret. But the big, remaining question was: Why? Why did they do this? Seth had been clear that it was for a reason.

He didn't look like he wanted to answer me when I asked why.

I shuddered, thinking of what it could possibly be that the huge wolves were around to protect us from. I think he was right. I didn't want to know.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I glanced down at the shiny cell phone and checked it again. Zero messages.

"Have a good night….and try not to think too much, okay?"

I rolled my eyes at Lexi as I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened her car door. She had given me a ride home from school since Seth was still M.I.A. and Sue was at work.

"I think that's impossible, Lex. How could I not?"

She smiled apologetically, patting my hand. "Things will work out. I mean….they worked out for me, and who would have thought? Brady…." she made a tsk-ing sound in the back of her throat and shook her head at herself as if she couldn't even believe she was dating Brady.

"You're right. Alright….off to finish my lovely English Lit paper," I groaned, stepping out.

She laughed, flashing her bright smile. "Right - because at eighteen we know what the hell we want to do with our lives."

"I know, right? See ya."

I carefully navigated up the mossy steps to the house when Charlie exited, still dressed in his uniform. He must have just gotten home from work, I thought. Great. Alone time with Charlie - just what I needed.

"Oh, Regan, I didn't see you pull up. Home already?"

"Seniors get out at 2:30," I answered, shifting my book bag on my shoulder. He shrugged, pulling on his winter gloves. It was getting colder and colder out as winter slowly crept into Forks once again.

"They're letting you kids out earlier and earlier, I swear. Anyhow…got a free minute?"

I turned, trying to hide my wince. "Sure, Charlie."

"Great. Gotta tarp down the fishing boat for winter," he explained jogging down the front steps. I was more careful, using the railing and avoiding the puddles of already icy looking water on the driveway. We walked around to the side of the house where he kept his fishing boat and he began unfolding the tarp we were going to use.

"Hold that side down….just there…good," he instructed me. We were awkwardly quiet for a few minutes as he unfolded the large blue plastic, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Turns out, I didn't know the definition of uncomfortable until Charlie started talking.

"Claire feeling better?"

I shrugged, trying not to smirk. "She was always feeling fine, Charlie."

"Well, I know she was having some trouble…"

"It was just her being….Claire, I guess."

Charlie nodded. "She's always been a handful. Sue used to baby-sit her when she was little. Well, when Quil would let her."

I nodded. "She's more than a handful."

"Hope she got it all figured out. Wasn't….drugs or anything, was it?"

I snorted. "No, Claire wasn't taking drugs. I….oh," I muttered, trying to say anything that would shut him up. "It's boy problems."

"Boy problems? I didn't think Quil let enough boys near her in order for her to have boy problems."

Well shit, I walked right into that, I thought. I gave him my best 'well duh!' look and he nodded.

"Oh. Isn't….isn't he a little old for her?"

I swallowed.

"I don't know….do you think he is?"

We were no longer talking about Quil and Claire, and I think Charlie knew.

He cleared his throat, moving to the side of the boat with the tarp. "Depends…on what their uhm….hobbies are."

I looked away, instantly embarrassed. "Well….I think she's happy to just boss him around. But she wants him to realize that she's eighteen now…and perfectly legal," I said, emphasizing the last part as I reached for my end of the tarp. Charlie cleared his throat, knitting his dark eyebrows together.

"Even if she's eighteen, she….she doesn't know everything yet," he pointed out.

"She knows that. But she thinks she really likes him. And that he would really like her, but he just doesn't realize it yet."

"Well…"

I swallowed, trying to work up some bravery. "Do you think he's too old for her?"

He stopped working, and I'm pretty sure he knew he wasn't talking about Claire and Quil anymore.

"What are you getting at?"

I shuffled around the side of the boat, putting a wider distance between us as I played with the edge of the tarp. "Nothing, just….I mean, as long as it's…like, legal - does…love know bounds? What if they really…loved e-each other?" I asked.

He frowned again, turning his attention back to the tarp as he secured it to stake in the ground.

"I think Claire is a little young to know what she wants," he began. "You girls are just kids. Quil should know better," he muttered the last part under his breath.

"He should know better than to what, exactly?"

"He should just….God damn it, he should just know better! Come on now Regs - you can't tell me that a guy as old as that has anything in common with…well, someone your age."

I laughed bitterly. "I think they have more than enough in common."

"They couldn't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm a cop and I've seen this enough times to….he should just know better."

I fumed, violently smoothing the tarp across the front of the boat. "You've seen what?"

Charlie stopped, giving me an exasperated look. "I've seen what happens when young girls get swept up into relationships with older guys. They just….never turn out well."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means someone usually ends up broken hearted, or in jail, or….pregnant," He spat. "Come on, let's go inside. Cold out here," he grunted.

I followed him inside, rubbing my hands together for warmth. I knew Charlie was just being protective of me. He didn't want to see me get hurt. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that a majority of our conversation was indeed not about Quil and Claire. I wasn't stupid enough to think that Charlie couldn't see what was going on between me and his son in law.

Charlie wasn't stupid, period.

He would know.

I followed him into the kitchen, yanking the refrigerator door open to grab a bottle of water. He timidly and awkwardly moved past to grab a beer before sitting at the table and opening that morning's paper. His eyes lingered on a particular section, and I frowned.

"You do the crossword?"

He looked up as I leaned against the kitchen counter, staring at him. He shifted in his seat, the wooden rungs groaning in protest. "No, ah….Bella always did."

"Really?"

He nodded, closing the noisy paper before setting it down on the table in front of him. "Yeah, she always liked things like that."

"Sounds like a boring kid," I joked. "Raising her must have been a cakewalk compared to me."

He avoided my eyes, his features nervous again. I turned my head and looked t him.

"What?"

He was silent for a moment before looking over at me. "Bella had a bit of…err…a rebel stage, you could say."

I raised my eyebrows. The Bella I had seen had been extremely quiet, polite, and shy almost. She didn't strike me as a tattoo-chasing hell raiser.

"She did?"

He nodded. "Right around the time…." He stopped, shaking his head a little.

"When?" I prodded.

"When she met…ah, Edward."

"Her husband?"

Charlie scowled a little, but quickly cleared his face of any signs that he wasn't fond of his son-in-law.

"Yeah. Edward. She did some things that were rather….out of character for her a time or two, and….she gave me some gray hairs, that's for dang sure."

I crossed my arms and sighed, picturing the girl in the photograph I had found on my first night in my room. She and Edward looked happy together; I had seen them in person and they were attached at the hip. What was not to like about him anyway? He was the epitome of manners, class, and kindness when I had met him on New Year's Eve. So what was Charlie's problem?

"Was Edward…a bad influence?"

Charlie scowled and picked up the paper again. "I'd like to think they influenced each other, but….I had a feeling that my daughter was the real instigator in that relationship."

"But it worked out of the best," I pointed out. "They're still together and like….so in love," I gushed, ignoring Charlie's dirty expression.

"It's all well and good now, sure." He picked up the paper again and the kitchen returned to silence. I turned around and began to stop up the sink to run some fresh water. I knew Sue would be home soon, and I wanted to be on her good side just in case.

In case what? My mind asked. In case she knows you banged her son a few days ago. My cheeks were instantly red at my thoughts, and I busied myself with what few dishes were in the sink so that Charlie wouldn't see.

He sighed as Sue's car pulled up in the driveway. Standing, he walked up behind me and cleared his throat softly. "Regan, I….I love ya kid, and I just…. don't want to see you get hurt," he replied. He bent and gave the top of my head a quick kiss and my shoulder a pat before roaming into the living room to welcome Sue.

I paused with my hands in the soapy water, thinking to myself. The sounds of Sue kissing Charlie hello after a day at work were at the back of my mind as I stared out the window at the darkening yard.

Was it a mistake for me to feel the way I did about Seth?

I had seen enough hurt to last me a lifetime, and I knew that my heart couldn't take the chance again. Could I handle the hurt that would come if he rejected me?

But for Seth….I would chance it.


	39. Chapter 39

Regan

I finished with the dishes and made my way upstairs to finish my homework. I had a nasty Lit paper to finish, and I was seriously avoiding it. We were supposed to write about what type of person we wanted to be in ten years.

Because every eighteen year old knew what they wanted to be like in ten years.

Sure.

Tossing open the door to my bedroom, I flopped down at my desk and opened my laptop. The cursor on the blank word document blinked at me expectantly.

Menacingly, almost.

The white screen made long for another distraction. A distraction away from my thoughts.

I wanted things that I shouldn't want. I wanted things that were forbidden.

I wanted things that I surely couldn't write in an English paper.

I frowned at the keyboard of my laptop, rolling my eyes at my own stupidity.

I didn't have long to think before Sue knocked softly on the bedroom door.

"Can I come in?"

"It's your house," I answered smartly. Her dark eyes glinted, and I relented with a grin. "Of course."

She would know there was something wrong if I said no.

She sat down on the bed, tucking her jean clad legs underneath her. Folding her russet, delicate hands in her lap, she glanced out the window. We listened to it rain for a few moments, the silence looming between us. I knew she wanted to talk. Whenever adults knocked on your door and asked to 'talk' that always mean something was up.

"You remind him a lot of his daughter, you know."

Here we go.

I jerked my head up. "I do?"

Sue nodded. "Bella was very stubborn. Well, stubborn in the fact that she put….some questionable things first in her life. Charlie…didn't understand it at all. He didn't see how his daughter could give herself over to someone else so completely. So trustingly. Well, none of us did."

I bit my lip. "What are you trying to say?"

She smiled wryly. "He's just worried about you."

I turned around. "He has no reason to be," I said to the wall. I could hear her shifting on the bed. She didn't buy it.

"I don't think that's true."

"You don't?" I turned back around. Jesus, I could barely look at her.

Her dark eyes burned into mine, and I was instantly tongue tied.

"Charlie loves you, Regan. He thinks of you like he did….well, Bella."

"But I'm not Bella."

"I never said that…he just….I think he still thinks a lot of things in his life were taken from him too soon. Let him be a little selfish."

"He is being selfish."

He's the reason I can't be with Seth.

"Charlie is what he is. He just wants to live out the whole 'daughter' thing for awhile. You should take it as a compliment. Charlie doesn't like just anybody."

I scoffed. "Well, I don't see what all of this has to do with me. I mean, why do I have to indulge his little father-daughter fantasy? This is the first time I'm hearing about this. And now….."

"When Bella fell in love with Edward and ran off with him….she took a piece of Charlie with her. So did your aunt, Renee."

"Renee is like my mother. I can't deny that."

"I know," She admitted. "So you should understand what it's like to be left by a person you love. Left too soon."

"I understand it…I didn't say I liked it."

"Be that as it may…just keep in mind when he's being such a…."

Sue trailed off, folding her hands in her lap again. I looked at the worn wooden flooring, debating what to say.

"Why does he think things were taken from him too soon?"

Sue paused, opening her mouth several times and closing it. "When Bella…met Edward, she…she really fell hard for him. There was no turning back for her. You know how girls are when they….fall in love."

I stared at the floor so she wouldn't see my eyes widen.

"Sometimes they do things that….make others question their sanity. Well….that was the case with Bella. She fell hard and fast for Edward, and there was no turning back for her. Not even rational thought…" she mused. "But that was a long time ago. Charlie just wants what he had with Bella again. He sees you as his daughter now, I think. He just wants to hold onto you while he can."

"And what about what I want? Doesn't that matter?"

"Of course. He's just…he's just being Charlie, Regan. I wish there was a better way to explain all of this, but there just simply isn't. He's my pig-headed, small-minded, slightly stubborn husband, but I love him. He's just Charlie."

After Sue left the room, I fumed to myself for a few minutes. How dare Charlie interfere with my love life!

Or lack of.

The object of my affections had been slightly MIA recently, and I had no one to blame for it but myself. If I hadn't been such a weepy mess the morning after our seemingly perfect night together, Charlie never would have almost caught us on the front porch.

Life was such a bitch sometimes.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

A warm breath blew in my ear. It was familiar and masculine…

A scorching hot hand ran up my side, brushing my bottom and sliding up my ribs, the corner of his fingers touching one of my breasts.

I gasped in surprise.

Not that I should be.

His touch always sets me on fire.

And then, before I can think again, he grabbed my hip and rolled me over, pinning me to the ground. His naked body is flush with mine and instantly I want more.

Opening my eyes, I looked up and was rapidly mesmerized with his warm, mocha-like gaze as it slid over my body.

"So perfect," he said softly, bending down. He ran his nose across my collar bone, up the side of my neck, and across my jaw. He stopped in the middle of my face, dropping his lips to mine. They melt together, just like warm chocolate. So perfectly sweet and quenching it makes my stomach twist with need.

"I'm not perfect," I muttered, breaking our kiss. He grins at me like he always does…

That smile…

That smile does things to me that should be illegal in all fifty states.

Running his hand down my body, he flattens his palm across my stomach and gives me a playful growl.

"Then you obviously don't see what I see when you look in the mirror."

"No, I obviously don't."

It's getting harder to breathe now.

He chuckled, kissing my nose sweetly. "Just let me love you Regan. I'll figure everything out."

And where his words ended, my assault on his mouth began.

He groaned against me, grinding himself against my body until we were joined. We didn't break out embrace or kiss as he moved within me, making me forget everything I had been worried about.

"Just….let me love you," he whispered in my ear between thrusts. I let my head fall back on the ground as I hooked my leg against his, nodding.

"I will Seth…I will."

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I sat straight up in bed with a start.

What the hell was that?

I mean, it was a dream, obviously. I hadn't seen or heard from Seth in days, and I especially had not had mind-blowing, sizzling hot sex with him lately either.

Fuck my life.

I wiped the sweat away from my hairline with a frown, wincing at the grossness. Good God, I was making my own body sweat just thinking about the heat that came from his.

Foolish didn't even come close to describing how I felt after a dream like that. It should have made my freaking day; a sex dream about Seth? Normally I'd take it and skip to school with cartoon hearts above my head and birds chirping.

But today….for some reason I just wasn't in the mood.

I felt like my dreams were unattainable and life just wasn't fair.

I scowled at myself in the mirror, only half-assed brushing my teeth. Seriously though, what the hell was up with that dream? Was my mind trying to torture me for being such a careless slut?

I thought about that as I threw on clothes and only half-concentrated on my Cheerios. I didn't feel like a slut for sleeping with Seth. Nothing had ever felt more right. But did I screw things up even more?

Sue shuffled in, making a beeline for the coffee pot. I could hear Charlie digging around in the laundry room, and I was glad to avoid him for the morning.

"Stop frowning. It'll stay that way. Go to school….be a senior in high school," Sue urged, giving me a playful shove out of the kitchen. I scowled at her as I shoved on my boots, making sure to slam the front door behind me.

It was going to be a long day.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I felt nauseas.

"Are you alright? You look like death."

I turned my head to the side, glaring at Zeke. He shoveled another disgusting portion of whatever it was they were serving in the cafeteria that day into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

It was moments like these that he looked so much like a younger version of Seth that it made my chest hurt a little.

"You look like you might….barf of something."

"Thanks," I replied flatly.

"You'll be alright. Seen Seth lately?" he asked, swallowing his food.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair.

"What makes you think I have?"

He shrugged, his face reflecting a mixed emotion. He looked like he wasn't telling me something.

"You'd just…maybe you'd feel better if you saw him."

"Yeah, well….ball is in his court now, what can I say?"

"Do you want me to say something…you know, to him?"

I looked at him strangely. "What? When?"

He looked around nervously, his dark eyes sparkling. "I just…..I patrol with him on Thursdays."

"Patrol?"

He nodded. I looked away, my stomach doing a nervous flip at the mention of a 'wolf activity' as I had dubbed it.

"Do you guys do a lot of talking during…patrol?"

Zeke smiled, opening a bag of chips. He held it to his lips, letting the contents slide into his mouth effortlessly. Chewing, he discarded the bag and shook his head.

"We don't…..do much talking, Reg."

I shook my head, annoyed. I just wished everyone would stop talking in this strange code. I felt like everyone was in on this gigantic secret but me. I was tired of being so out of the loop.

"English, please?"

He tapped the side his head as he took a swig from his water bottle. "Wolf telepathy."

I thought a moment, giving him a small smile. "Should you be telling me this?"

He shrugged. "Probably not. But….You're my friend too, Regan. I mean…Seth would have told you sooner or later."

"You think so?"

He chuckled to himself. "Oh yeah. He's worse at keeping secrets than I am!"

"So…will he be able to….I mean, show him this conversation?" I asked, a slight blush rising up in my cheeks. Zeke nodded, his eyes flashing up to Lexi as she approached.

"What a day! Senior year is going to kill me! I'll never make it to college next year!"

Zeke shifted in his chair. "You still gonna go to California?"

She grinned, pushing her blonde hair away from her eyes. "You know it! Home sweet home!"

Zeke nodded, giving me a half smile. It was no secret that her moving back to California for college was a touchy subject with Brady. However, they were so on-again, off-again it was hard to tell what they were going to do.

Lexi sat down beside me, nudging me with her leg.

"Have you seen Seth yet?"

I shook my head. "No. Hey, did you still want to go to the library after school again? Our internet at home is still down and I need to get some resources for History," I asked, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"Sure," she agreed, shrugging. "Not like I have anything else to do," she huffed, opening her milk.

Zeke leaned across the table, raising a dark eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"

Lexi snorted, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

Zeke rolled his eyes and nudged me. "Guess she and Brady aren't speaking today."

"Shut up," she quipped. I had to smile. Brady and Lexi's relationship was nothing if not tumultuous. They were hot and cold, up and down, and were generally fighting more than they were happy. However, according to Lexi they were completely smitten with each other and wouldn't dream of ending things. Then the next week….she was never speaking to him again. We could never tell.

"We'll go to the library. But…do you really feel alright?"

"Yeah um….I'm fine, just….nervous for my calc test I guess."

"Oh, that's right, that's today!"

"Didn't you study, Lex?"

She blushed, shaking her head. "Um….no, I was…..Brady came over late last night and….I didn't get much sleep," she chortled to herself.

"I need new friends," Zeke groaned, wincing.

"Shut it!" she laughed, tossing a wadded up wrapper at him. "You don't have to listen."

"I thought you two were fighting?"

"We were…and then we made up."

"Ew!"

Lexi continued to harass and torture Zeke with more tales of her time with Brady, and I found myself spacing out.

I grimaced, swallowing lightly as I touched my churning stomach. Being away from Seth was taking its toll on me, as much as I hated to admit it. I hated to be away from him, even if it was only for a day. Ever since that night….I had to swallow again.

Our night together haunted me.

That's the only conclusion I could safely arrive at.

It was haunting me.

He was haunting me.

My mind was suddenly anything but subtle.

My draw to him had become nearly impossible to ignore…

What was I going to do?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I kicked mindlessly at a pebble as I waited for Lexi to finish texting a response to Brady on her cell phone. Why she couldn't walk and text I didn't know, but either way I was in no hurry. I knew that once I got to the library it would be useless to try to study anyway. I had been completely spacing out all day.

"Lex…." I whined.

"Hold on….hey wait, isn't that Seth?"

Lexi's question jerked me out of my reverie as we shuffled slowly toward the library. There, across the street from us was Seth, writing someone a ticket. The Bronco sat with its red and blue lights flashing, and he was actually wearing his uniform today.

He looked very…adult.

I felt my stomach do another nervous flop.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I hissed, walking faster.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"There's nothing I need to say."

Lexi gave me a strange look as I brushed past her and up the steps to the library. I turned at just the wrong second to look over my shoulder and there he was.

Staring right at me. I paused a moment, unsure of what to do. Did I wave? Say hi? Smile?

Naturally, I panicked and stumbled through the library doors instead. The musty smell of the old library hit me in the face as I stormed in, tossing my bag on an empty table. I could feel my cheeks growing hot.

"Um, do you want to fill me in on what that was about?"

"What?"

"You just ignored Seth! Your best friend?"

"I saw him," I mumbled.

We sat at our usual table in the corner of the old, outdated library, opening our books. She stood up to walk over to the computers, but paused.

"You know…if you ever need to talk-"

"-I don't!"

"But if you do," she insisted, holding up her hands. "I'm here. I know you don't want to talk about it now, Reg. But I'm just saying."

I nodded. Lexi was a good friend with a sweet personality and kind heart. I knew she would listen if I talked, and she would do anything she could to help me.

I just wasn't ready to talk yet.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I closed my eyes, trying to get my stomach to calm down. My nerves were on edge since earlier. Seth had finally reached out to me, sending me a text that said he missed me. I had been nothing short of shocked when he showed up at my window asking for a kiss goodnight.

I had obliged, naturally.

When guys like Seth show up half-clothed under your window you don't necessarily contain the ability to say no.

He showed up, looking all wild and freshly phased, and scaled the side of Charlie's house. Our words had been short, but the kisses we shared were sweet.

I closed my eyes as I tried to savor the feeling of his lips on mind.

So sweet. So passionate….

There was no conversation.

Nothing sorted or accomplished.

Just kisses.

For some reason, I don't think he was ready to exactly talk about it yet - and honestly neither was I. I wanted answers, but I didn't. I wanted to know what the wolf thing meant, and I really wanted to know what last weekend meant for us. However….I was afraid of the answers.

So I had kept quiet and simply accepted his lips against mine like we were made for each other. It sure felt that way sometimes. But yet, I had to keep in mind that there were still things that distanced us, no matter how right it felt for me to want him.

When we were together, nothing mattered; when we were apart, it felt like mountains may as well have been between us.

His kiss gave me hope, but reality gave me despair.

Sleep was limited that night.

However, I woke up in a good mood. The next day felt like a much improved Groundhog day. Another day of floating through reality. Again Lexi and I went to the library after school, and again Seth was across the street, writing another ticket. I thought people would learn, but I guess not.

He glanced up instantly, his gaze melting into mine. We shared a private smile from across the rainy street and I felt time slow down a bit.

It was amazing how much a few simple smiles and a kiss from Seth Clearwater could change my whole outlook on the world.

I could live forever seeing those bright, simple smiles.

The kiss last night had been innocent but….not.

The innocent part was that no clothes came off and everyone slept in their own bed. However, the hot part was getting to taste and feel him once again. There wasn't really an innocent thought in my head at that point in time.

His body had a way of molding into mine that just made me want to curl up in his arms and never leave.

God, I'm a sap.

Seth looked away briefly, grinning his signature smile before letting his eyes flash back up to meet mine. I grinned back, unable to look away.

If Seth Clearwater smiled at you, you couldn't help but smile back.

"Come on, we have to get some studying done. You can goon over Clearwater later," Claire replied with a smirk, tugging on my arm. I followed them inside the doors, but not before glancing over my shoulder at Seth who was still in the street by the Bronco. He gave me another small smile, and I shared it.

We hadn't been studying for an hour when I felt restless. I couldn't make my feet sit still, so I got up and made my way to the back of the library for a drink.

"Be right back," I whispered to Claire and Lexi.

I shuffled aimlessly back towards the drinking fountain and bathrooms, not in any particular rush. I was almost there when a scorching hot hand snaked out and grabbed mine. He tugged me back into the last row of books, hidden from view.

Seth.

"Hi," he whispered, his breathing slightly ragged.

"Hi," I whispered back, returning his grin. His tan face was the only thing I could focus on as the multicolored spines of the books behind him began to blur. It was scary how he was the only thing I could see sometimes.

"I um…."

"Seth, what are you doing here?"

He shrugged, looking out of place in his police uniform. He looked more like an overgrown kid playing dress up more than a real cop. Giving me a dopey grin that I loved, he looked around nervously.

"I just wanted to see you."

"You did?"

"Still do," he replied with a wink.

I felt my heart clench in my chest. Did he know that this was torture for me?"

"I saw you come in here and….I couldn't help myself."

"Really?"

"Really."

He looked at me expectantly, his dark eyes dancing as he tried not to smile.

"Do Claire and Lexi know where you are?"

I looked around the corner, making sure we were indeed alone in the corner of the dusty old library.

"I told them I went to the bathroom."

"They're going to think you fell in."

We laughed, his eyes scrunching up with a wide smile.

"I don't care."

"Really?" he asked.

"No. You're worth falling into a toilet for," I admitted with a grin.

"I'm glad you think so."

"Yeah, well…I do."

I felt suddenly….shy. Even though I had no reason to.

He's still your best friend….you've just seen him partly naked.

Luckily, Seth didn't give me much time to fret.

"Well….I just had to see you. Especially after…I mean….last night was…"

My mind flashed back to the night before when he had climbed to my window and given me a goodnight kiss. We hadn't talked things through or worked anything out or…really solved much of anything, but I had at least gotten a kiss goodnight.

I returned his dopey grin. "Amazing?"

He chuckled. "Glad you thought so."

I cocked my head to the side, sighing as his warm hand slid down to re-join with mine. I watched as his fingers slowly wove with my own, his long ones making my looked dwarfed.

"Is this…okay?" He asked, gazing down at me. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

This was what I wanted, right?

"Of course it's okay. You…you can hold my hand."

He swallowed, shifting slightly on his large feet. He glanced around again, making sure we were okay. "C-can I kiss you again?"

I felt my cheeks burn as we stood there together in the back corner of the library. My friends would be wondering where I was. He was on duty. There were so many reasons why we shouldn't but….for some reason they all faded away.

"What makes you think you couldn't?"

"Nothing, I….hope," he muttered, leaning down. He did that thing where he put his huge palm on my cheek and held my face to his so softly. I didn't know someone so large and lanky looking could so….gentle. He caressed my cheekbone so lightly you would think he was handling his grandmother's china.

Cue that foreign cherished feeling again.

I felt my heart speed up as I leaned into him, finally getting my wits about me after a few seconds so that I could kiss him back. He moaned softly, as if he was an addict getting another hit. He was really something.

We broke apart after a few seconds, both of us releasing a shaky breath. I licked my lips and savored the taste of him. So masculine, yet sweet.

He opened his eyes and gave me a crooked grin, flashing me just the tiniest bit of his perfect white teeth.

"Wow."

I gazed up at him in slight shock. "Why do you always say that after you kiss me?"

He shook his head lightly as if he was trying to knock some sense back into himself. "How could I not say it?"

I took another shaky breath as I stared up at him, trying to control myself. He just said these things to me sometimes that made my heart want to combust and my ovaries explode. And the best part about it was - it was Seth, and there wasn't an insincere bone in his perfectly sculpted, Greek God-like body.

Fuck it.

I threw myself at him, my arms clamping behind his shoulders. He met me halfway, crashing himself into me at the exact same moment. Our lips collided in recklessness and damn if it didn't feel perfect.

This kiss was not sweet.

This kiss was not innocent.

This kiss had me backed against the wall of the library, panting and Frenching Seth Clearwater like my freaking life depended on it. We were a hurricane of mussed hair, swiping tongues, and roaming hands in the cover of the dusty, stupid books.

Oh yes.

He pinned me against the back wall, his arms around my middle, grasping at me wildly. I opened my mouth, accepting him deeper and finally allowing myself to taste him again like I wanted to. His tongue mingled with mine, both of us wild as we grasped at each other.

He nipped and sucked at my bottom lip before kissing down my neck. I felt his tongue snake out and taste the skin there, and then he echoed a groan in response. His lips slid back up my neck, over my jaw line, and back up to my ear.

I returned the favor, peppering frantic kissing on his jaw and letting my lips get scratched lightly from the stubble there. He sighed, his hands tightening on my sides as he held me.

"God you….you don't know….ah, Regan," he mumbled against my ear. He moved and gave me a lust-ridden stare before kissing me again.

A loud throat being cleared made us leap apart, our eyes both wide.

The Forks Librarian, Mrs. Simms, stood a row away. She peered at us over her glasses, her unapproving stare evident. I gaped at her, then Seth. We were both the color of scarlet, and neither one of us knew what to do.

So we panicked, naturally.

"I um…have to go," I stuttered.

"Yeah, um….bye," Seth mumbled before brushing past Mrs. Simms and bolting out the back door. I avoided her gaze and shuffled back to the table where Claire and Lexi sat.

Lexi said nothing, only picking her phone and checking it for messages. Claire looked up over the book in her hand, raising a dark eyebrow at me.

"You look….disheveled," she mused quietly.

"Shut it," I warned, looking down at my notebook. I tried uselessly to get back to studying, but I had a feeling that my efforts would be rather futile.

Especially when I could still taste Seth on my lips.

I could still hear the gasp of the librarian ringing in my ears. My stomach did another nervous flip.

That had been bad, but that had been worth it.

So worth it.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Several nights later, I still hadn't heard from Seth again. Not that I blamed him, - he was probably scarred for life after what happened in the library. I ran up to my bedroom, closing the door quietly behind me. Digging the worn shirt of Seth's out of my wooden dresser, I changed into it before climbing into bed. His comforting scent wasn't nearly as strong after having it in my possession for over a week now, but it was enough to make me feel better. My stomach turned uncomfortably, churning as my diner sat like lead in my stomach.

Was it nerves? Or something else?

I swallowed hard, trying to rid myself of the sickened feeling. I had homework to do, but concentrating lately had seemed impossible. All I could think about was Seth; I wondered where he was, what he was doing….and worst of all, was he in danger? I knew what he was, but I still didn't understand the why.

Sitting down at my computer, I flipped it on and ended up on Google. I stared at it for a second, chiding myself for being so stupid. Regardless, I was curious and avoiding my reading I needed to be catching up on. I typed in 'werewolf' and hit the search button.

I immediately wished I hadn't.

The images that showed up on the screen were nothing short of horrifying.

Pictures of mangled and bloodied snarling beasts were everywhere. They were shown ripping the heads off ancient looking monsters and people with pitchforks…it was nothing like what Seth was.

He was almost…noble looking. Sure, he was huge as a horse and had almost scared the pants off me that morning, but….he wasn't terrifying. He didn't look like the monsters shown on the screen.

No, werewolf certainly didn't do him justice.

I swallowed back another sickened feeling. I felt off lately, and I wasn't sure why. It had only been a little over a week since I had been with Seth, and I didn't want to think about why I might be feeling sick. I knew I was avoiding the issue of our mishap in the bedroom, but I didn't know what else to do. I had accidentally slept with my best friend who had then let me know he was a werewolf.

Needless to say, contraception was far from my mind at the time.

But now…I knew something was wrong with me. My body had been off lately, and I didn't know what was wrong.

I clicked the search bar and sighed, watching the cursor blink.

Gulping away my nervousness, I typed 'pregnancy symptoms' into the box and hit enter.


	40. Chapter 40

Seth

The look on the shocked librarian's face had said it all.

I didn't need stick around and let her look at my burning cheeks again. I knew I had turned so red that my face expressed everything I needed to: guilty.

Of course it had been a terrible idea to follow her into the library that day. Of course it was awful that I followed her to the back of the building like a stalker. And then….I had attacked her like the sexually starved man that I was.

But I was starving - for her.

I had seen her in town the past two days, and I knew that I had to at least talk to her. I had caved, sending her a wimpy text that said I missed her. She didn't have to respond for me to know that she felt the same way.

I knew.

My feelings were so tied to hers that when she had given me that forlorn gaze from the steps of the library it had nearly broke my heart. I would patrol and then retreat to Charlie's backyard every night to listen to her sleep, but I think that only made me feel more frazzled.

I needed to be near her again.

I felt off. My whole body felt strange, like I needed a hit of something but I didn't know what. Was it possible? Could I miss this girl so much already?

I walked back to my Bronco, sliding inside as I left the library. Sitting there, I stared at the front of the Forks library and contemplated what to do, but my mind basically kept repeating one thing.

Oh fuck.

I knew I had to fix this, but I didn't know how. Instantly, images of Mrs. Simms going to Charlie to rat me out and me being dragged away in handcuffs entered my mind.

I felt like I had committed a crime by being seen with Regan in public.

Stupid, really. Regan was eighteen. She was technically an adult. But that still didn't make me feel right about everything.

I threw myself into work the week after that. I would text Regan to ask how she was doing, but she seemed sad. Truthfully, I was too. I wanted to be near her. Pretending that the sparks weren't positively flying between us was like trying to convince me that the sky wasn't up - it just couldn't happen.

Jake told me once that imprinting doesn't work backwards. I didn't really understand what he meant until now. I finally understood that I couldn't go from best friends to lovers and back to friends again. It didn't work.

I felt like a crack junkie.

A Regan crack junkie.

My hands shook a little as I ached for my next hit of her.

I was crumbling.

The chair next to mine squeaked as Charlie shifted in his chair, bringing me back to reality. It was early evening, although you couldn't tell. The winter sky was already nearly pitch black, and I was getting ready to go home for the night. I didn't have to patrol tonight and for that I was glad. I didn't need the rest of the pack sorting around in my head. I had already slipped once and now Embry was in on my big secret. He had been surprisingly gracious about it, not asking me anything as I mentally freaked out about my accidental slip. I sensed he had enough imprint problems to keep him occupied for the moment. Things were so hot and cold with his imprint Sydney that I could barely keep track of their relationship. Needless to say, he was more than happy to finish our patrol in silence.

Charlie cleared his throat, shuffling a few pieces of paperwork. "You uh….talked to Regan lately?"

My head jerked up as I tried to remain calm. I was glad Charlie didn't have super sensitive hearing - my heart just went into overdrive.

"No, why would I?" I asked quickly. Too quickly. I cringed.

There it was again - guilt.

Charlie shrugged. "No reason. Thought you might come around and cheer her up. She stayed home from school again today."

I looked over at him from my desk. "She did?"

"Yup."

I paused, not wanting to sound too eager.

Yeah, right.

"Is she sick?"

He nodded. "I dunno. I think she's faking, but….didn't have the heart to make her go. Kid's got me….kid's got me tied around her finger. Just like…." he trailed off, looking out the window wistfully.

I didn't need him to finish the thought to know that he was thinking about Bella.

I thought of Bella a moment, my thoughts conflicted. Now, I loved her like a sister, but sometimes Bella pissed me off a bit. She had left home at a young age, completely head over heels in love with Edward. I understood passionate, knock-you-out-of-your-shoes love….but I had never agreed with how she had left things with Charlie. He didn't talk about it much, but it was easy to see that his teenage daughter had ripped his heart out by marrying so young and then lacing a web of deceit. I knew Charlie wasn't stupid; he knew something was off about his daughter. He didn't know what, but…he knew. Charlie knew he was being lied to by the person that meant the most to him in life. It didn't take a lot to see that that fact alone hurt him still today.

I hoped Regan and I would do things differently.

But it was too soon to worry about that yet.

I shrugged, clearing my throat. "No, I uh….just been busy."

Charlie looked at me skeptically, rolling his eyes. "You?"

I shrugged, looking back down at my desk. I played with the letter in my hands, rolling and bending the sides until it looked a little worse for wear.

"Yeah, um…just stuff."

Charlie could smell my bullshit.

"You look a little….jumpy."

"Do I?"

He nodded. "Somethin' on your mind?"

I shrugged again, looking away from him. I couldn't look him in the eye. Instead I stared down at the letter in my hands blankly, the words forming nothing but meaningless scribbles.

"You gonna take them up on that?" he asked.

"Who?"

Charlie gave me a look that clearly meant I needed to snap out of it. I jumped slightly, trying to regain my composure and not look like a bumbling idiot.

"Seattle PD. They need guys like you. Young…fit."

I looked down at the letter in my hands, which now resembled something I had pulled out of the trash. It was an invite to come and interview with a police department in Seattle. Because of the high crime rates, they were always recruiting young police officers from smaller towns. They would offer more money, better benefits, and just about any perks they could to get guys to ditch their towns and go. It was something I would have considered a few years ago - I knew Jake would give me a break from the pack if I requested it. Frankly, I had lost interest since Regan moved to Forks.

"Nah, I don't think so. Seattle isn't…my scene," I replied awkwardly, tossing the letter down.

"You sure? Might be a bump in pay."

"I know it would be," I replied, turning back around. I tossed the letter down, trying to push it out of my mind. It didn't interest me.

Charlie grunted, swiveling slightly in his chair. "Suit yourself."

I turned back around, scowling at the letter on my desk. I was ready to go home, take a hot shower, and maybe go visit Regan again. My body was begging to be near hers again, even if it was as innocent as the kiss at her window.

I just needed to be with her.

Suddenly, a desperate howl ripped through my thoughts of Regan.

I knew that howl.

That was the signal to phase and now. I shot up in my chair, looking around wildly. Charlie and I were the only ones still in the office, so I knew I was okay to leave quickly without looking suspicious.

That howl meant I had to go. I could feel Charlie tense beside me, his brown eyes widening a little. He pursed his lips, turning around to face me.

"Do I even want to know?" Charlie grumbled.

"I'm an open book Charlie; I'll tell you whatever you want to know!"

"Forget I asked," he muttered, turning back around.

I gave him a nervous smile as I felt my spine flood with anticipatory heat. The wolf needed to join his pack, and I wouldn't be able to calm myself until I knew what the problem was. I shook my head at him, jumping up.

"Cover for me?" I asked. He turned back around, eying me suspiciously. He knew we were wolves - he didn't know why. The tiny spark in his eye made me realize he knew this was something out of the ordinary…something supernatural.

Charlie looked up at me, his brown eyes growing a little wilder. "Is this…some…wolfy thing?" he asked.

I shrugged, giving him a slight eye roll. "It is whatever you think it is."

He gave me an uneasy look, but turned back around. "I didn't see anything," he muttered.

I was out the door like a bullet. Into the woods I ran, stripping down and tossing my work clothes into some nearby ferns. As I stood there naked preparing to phase, another desperate howl rang through the air, making my hair stand on end.

Something was definitely wrong.

In a split second I was on all fours, my strong hind legs shooting me forward at top speed. The pack mind was a blur of voices and panic, everyone mentally shouting. I ran towards the commotion trying to sort out everything that was happening.

Vampire attack, Embry explained. He had just arrived in a small clearing in the forest, not far from First Beach. His thoughts were short though, for he turned his attention to…

Brady?

Pain shot through my chest, almost crippling me. It was horrible - the entire pack was feeling the affect of the anguish radiating from Brady as he cowered over something crumpled on the forest floor. His thoughts were a blur of anguish before he phased back into human form, his thoughts suddenly gone from my mind.

I watched through the pack mind of other wolves who were there as he fell to the muddy earth with a gut wrenching cry. I searched everyone's minds that were present, trying to see what had happened. I had never seen Brady so upset - or even show that much emotion for that matter.

Well, an emotion besides blind rage.

I struggled to grasp what had happened exactly. Everyone was panicking; unsure of what to do. I had never seen the pack so unorganized and frantic. The blur of thoughts and voices in my head was quickly making my head hurt. That combined with Brady's pain made it nearly unbearable.

What happened? I asked.

Just…just get here, Zeke answered back. He winced.

This wasn't good.

I had to get there to help Brady with whatever this was.

Another desperate howl from his human mouth escaped as he cradled his head in his hands and bent over something on the ground. Something bloodied. Mangled.

Oh God, I thought as I realized what was on the ground, barely recognizable.

I slid to a halt in the clearing as Brady let another gut-wrenching cross between a cry and a scream rip from his throat.

We all stood in a circle around him, frozen with shock and paralyzed with pain as we realized what was on the ground.

Lexi.

I faltered for a split second as I realized what had happened.

There, on the muddy ground was Lexi…or something that resembled her. Her blonde hair was thrown halfway across her bloodied face, and both of her legs were at a weird angle…almost as if….

The vampire…he…we didn't see much….Astin tried to explain, pacing next to me. He said that it…came out of nowhere and just snatched her. They were on the beach and….Lexi got mad at him and stomped off, and…then the vamp came out of nowhere and….he…he….took her up in the tree where he couldn't….and then…he bit her. And then he just threw her….and…

The young wolf whimpered in agony as he paced back and forth. A few other pack members echoed his pained whine, joining in with Brady's desperate cries.

We found him here. He tried to find the vamp but….he had to come back to her…he got away!

I could feel the younger wolf's stomach turn as he looked away from Lexi's body.

Wait…he bit her? I asked, looking at Astin. The wolf nodded, and I felt a glimmer of hope. Sure enough, on the side of her neck was a crescent shaped gash. My eyes could see the venom burning on the surface, the sickeningly sweet scent already burning my nose.

I could see through Astin's mind as he brought back the horrible memory he had collected from Brady's mind. The vampire, red eyed and murderous as he dragged Brady's imprint into the forest, out of his reach. Up the tall trees he went , holding her as she screamed. And then…..his eyes glittered as he raised her up to his lips and sunk his teeth into her flesh. Then, when he was finished with the fatal bite, the way he tossed her body to the ground a hundred feet below.

Brady gasped for air between his tears, his arms shaking as he fought his instinct to phase. Lexi's body lay lifeless in the mud as Brady sobbed over it.

The vamp bit Lexi…she's going to wake up! I realized.

Appall rippled through the pack mind at my thought.

But she'll be a vampire! Astin argued. She may as well be dead.

His thought echoed in our minds as we stood around the two of them for a few more seconds. I phased back, rushing to Lexi's other side, and Embry joined me. He positioned himself behind her head, gently turning it so that her face was cradled in his large hands.

"She'll wake up," he said softly, his eyes flicking up to Brady's.

Brady looked up at me, his face tear streaked and laced with agony

"She…she…what?" he asked in astonishment.

"She's been bitten, Brady. She's not dead. She'll wake up," I gently explained.

"She'll…she'll be a fucking leech! She'll be one of them!"

"Brady…." I said softly, "She'll still be Lexi. She'll still be….she'll still be her."

Brady shook a little, looking over at me. "Let's see Regan get bitten by a fucking vampire in front of your face….and then you let me know how you think I should act," he spat at me between clenched teeth.

We stood in silence.

The quiet was eerie. Brady still sat, crouched beside Lexi as we waited to see what would happen. The blood coating her tan skin was drying, and she still hadn't moved. It felt like it had been hours.

"We need to call the Cullens," I suggested gently.

"And what will your precious Cullens do? Hmmm?" He snapped. He choked back another sob.

I tried to understand - in his mind, his imprint was dead.

I fought to keep visions of Regan out of my mind. But I could see her….her instead of Lexi on the forest floor, bleeding and mangled. My heart began to pound as I placed myself in Brady's position.

"They might help us…..they'll know what to do when…" I trailed off. I didn't want to say 'wake up'….Brady was understandingly fragile right now, and I didn't want to push him.

Embry bent down gently picking up one of her arms. He winced slightly, raising it to his nose. He put it back down, looking away from Brady.

"Well?" he asked expectantly.

Embry blanched, looking over at him. "I thought you didn't care."

Brady scoffed in misery, choking on another sob. "I care about her, okay? I care about her so fucking much and….I wasn't able to save her. And now…"

"She'll wake up, Brady," I said gently. "She'll be better again. She's going to be…different, but…she'll be alive."

He laughed bitterly. "Alive? You call what they are alive?"

I nodded, looking away. I couldn't look him in the eye.

"So that's it then? She's turning?" he asked Embry, looking up at him through teary eyes. Embry nodded just barely, averting his eyes.

Another sob echoed from his lips as he hunched down against Lexi's lifeless body. I looked away, unable to even contemplate the pain he was feeling in that moment. Sure, she would wake up. But she would be a vampire. How would I feel if this was Regan? Would she still want me as much? Would I want her? How would she smell? Did a change this large change the way you felt about someone? I remember Bella waking up after her change. Edward told me later that she had been a little disoriented at first, but she had quickly remembered him and how much she loved him.

Would the same happen in a few days when Lexi awoke?

As members of the pack phased and came to the forest where we were, it was evident from the looks on their faces that they all had the same questions on their mind.

None of us had a clue what was going to happen.

I stood up, pulling on the worn shorts that were attached to my ankle. Brady was still hunched over Lexi, his body trembling.

"When I get him….I'm going to rip his dead heart out…." he growled, reaching up to stroke her bloody cheek. Her head fell to the side, completely still and lifeless. If I wouldn't have been able to smell the fiery venom coursing through her veins, I would be afraid she was really dead.

The change was happening; we could all smell it.

"I have to make a phone call," I said to Embry, who simply nodded. I left the clearing, accepting a cell phone from one of the younger boys and dialed the number I knew by heart.

"I've been calling you for an hour," Edward said.

"Sorry, my phone isn't…on me," I said, silently cursing myself for not tying it to my ankle.

"Alice saw the girl disappear a few hours ago…and then reappear. She wasn't even really watching for her…it was just something she caught. Then she saw her get taken…..We're on our way down. What happened?"

"She can't see her because of us, but….Lexi's been bitten. She's changing," I replied.

I heard all the air leave Edward's throat. "We'll be there in an hour," he said, and we hung up.

I excused myself shortly after. The entire pack was now present; we were supposed to be watching, standing guard but….none of us could tear our eyes away from Brady. Disbelief and shock loomed over us as we watched and waited.

Minutes later, Jake arrived and began barking orders. He assigned the older guys to patrol for the vampire who had bitten her and try to track it down. The younger boys were to stand guard for Brady and Lexi. I phased back, walking up to Jake. I had to see Regan. The pull to her was slowly becoming excruciating.

Jake….Jake I need to…

Just go, he told me sharply. He knew I would be next to no help in the state I was in.

I took off in the direction of Charlie's house. The pull to Regan was almost excruciating; it felt like my entire body was sore.

I had to see her.

I don't think I've ever run the distance to her house so quickly. As soon as I hit the yard, I phased back into human form and practically yanked my shorts on. Taking a running leap, I scaled the side of Charlie's house like a monkey and was at Regan's windowsill in a split second.

She was on her bed, just sitting there when I hit the window with a soft thump. Her head jerked up, her green eyes wide before she realized it was just me. Hurrying over, she threw open the window and practically dragged me into her room.

"Seth!" she exclaimed in a surprised voice. I put my finger to her lips to silence her, and she nodded in understanding. I could hear the TV on downstairs, so I knew Charlie was still awake.

"Hey," I greeted her softly, pulling her close. The warmth radiating from her body was all I needed to calm my frazzled nerves. She dug her nose into the front of my bare chest, taking a deep breath.

I hugged her a little tighter.

"Did you just…change?" she asked, looking at my dirty feet. I nodded, pulling her back against my chest.

Damn that girl felt good.

"You're shaking," she said, pulling away from me. I stared down at her, focusing in on her red-rimmed eyes.

"You've been crying."

"Don't change the subject!"

"Regan…"

"Seth, I…."

"What's the matter?"

"You tell me first," she whispered urgently, clinging to my forearms.

I gazed down at her, wide eyed and teary. She was upset, but….I found myself a bit flabbergasted. Instead of chiding myself for troubling a teen with problems over her head, I felt…almost compelled to tell her.

She could handle it.

She was an adult now.

But still….I couldn't do this to her.

Not tonight.

I glanced out her tiny window as the sky darkened even further, mirroring my mood.

I thought briefly of Lexi as she burned somewhere deep in the La Push forest.

I thought of Brady as he was probably still bent over her, crippled with pain.

I needed to be with Regan tonight.

I needed to be with her and know that nothing else mattered, and just forget that the rest of my world existed.

Tonight, I simply wanted her to be my world.

Tonight was about us. About her.

"Tell me why you're crying."

"I'm not crying right now," she breathed, her eyes dropping to my mouth.

I had a pause a moment to catch my breath.

"But you were."

She bowed her dark head, her mahogany locks falling in her eyes. I brushed them back, sliding my hands up her body to cradle her face in my hands.

"Tell me…."

"I….I c-can't."

"Regs….I'm your best friend. Tell me," I pleaded. "Things are still the same. I'm still me."

"I know."

"So tell me," I demanded.

She bit her lip, her eyes filling up again.

"Kiss me first."

That was all the encouragement I needed.

My lips fell against hers without hesitation. I groaned inwardly as her hands flew up and clamped tightly against my neck. I opened my mouth, welcoming her searching tongue against mine.

Just the taste of her was enough to make my nerves calm themselves. It was like water on a fire…it was no match. She made me instantly feel okay again.

As long as I had this girl in my arms….I would always be okay.

I would be more than okay.

I kissed her deeply, letting our mouths mold together as our hands roamed each other's bodies. It didn't help that we were half naked. She was in skimpy pajama bottoms and a tank top, and I was just in a pair of worn khaki shorts. .

A very thin pair of worn khaki shorts.

Regan pressed herself against me, a tiny sigh escaping from her lips as she felt my aching body against hers. I winced inwardly. I didn't want this to seem like a booty call - it really wasn't. I just wanted to be near her so that my freaking body would calm itself down for an hour or so. My skin absolutely crawled when I wasn't near her.

I just wanted to feel okay again.

Regan sighed into my mouth, leaning back into my arms. I clasped her warm body against mine, painstakingly breaking our kiss.

"Tell me," I repeated.

She sucked in a short breath.

"It's nothing. Just….I don't want to talk right now. I just….I feel so…"

"What?" I asked, looking down at her.

She stared up at me, her green eyes pleading and scared at the same time.

"I'm scared."

"Why? Regan….I'll do anything to keep you safe…"

She couldn't know about Lexi, could she? No, it was impossible. My mind raced. Why was she scared?

"I know that…that's not….no…"

"Tell me," I pleaded again. I could feel her pulse racing through her skin as I held her small hands in mind. Her heart throbbed in her chest; I could hear it.

"Seth I…..I think I'm pregnant."

My knees threatened to buckle. My breath escaped my throat, feeling as if it was sucked from me. My throat tightened, threatening to cut off all air.

"What?"

She gulped, breaking our eye contact. She shifted from one foot to the other before blinking up at me. A large tear, followed by another slid down her cheek as she began to tremble.

"I think….I….."

I shook my head violently. "No, you….you can't be. How do you know? Did you go to the doctor? Take a test? What?"

"N-no….but…"

I gaped at her, my eyes surely wild. "Reg….how-"

"-Do I have to explain it to you!"

Shit. Duh, Seth.

I silenced her again, giving a panicked look to her bedroom door. The last thing I needed was my mother wandering in here. Having her spend the night in the privacy of my home with the cover of taking care of Claire was one thing. Standing in her room half naked on a school night was quite another.

"Okay, well," I swallowed hard, "I guess I know the how, but…."

She let a silent sob escape, and I felt my heart lurch. "Regan…"

"Seth, I'm…I'm so scared, I…."

"Wait, Regs, just…."

I stood back, licking my lips as I prepared myself to concentrate. "Don't freak out, okay?"

As I took a deep breath, I watched her questioning eyes scan me. "Right," she breathed.

Leaning down, I tried my best to channel my wolf senses. I could remember what Emily Uley had smelled like that day when I visited her with Leah. She was newly pregnant and I had known right away that something was off with her. Something had been different, and my senses had let me know then.

I silently begged they would do the same.

In all my stupid moments, this couldn't be the one that took the trophy. I couldn't have gotten her pregnant before she had a chance to live - really live - could I? I cursed myself for being so stupid and for needing her so badly that night. There had been no excuse for not using anything that night, and I knew it. I had really fucked up.

Now I could only hope that Regan wouldn't be the one to pay for my giant fuckup.

I closed my eyes and let my senses take over. I inhaled the air around her, trying my best to focus. She stood as still as a statue, waiting to for my reaction.

I searched. I ran my nose along her neck, her face, her arms, and even dropped to my knees to smell her stomach. I listened intently, trying to search out anything that sounded different. That day I had been able to hear two hearts beating, even though the second was almost impossible.

But it had been there.

Opening my eyes, I gazed up at her. Our eyes met, and a fresh set of tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. I stood up, pulling her to my chest in a tight hug.

"You're not pregnant," I confirmed softly, holding her against me. I felt her body practically collapse against mine. Her hot tears slid down my chest as she pressed herself against me. "You're not," I repeated firmly.

She nodded. A huge sigh of relief slipped from her chest, and she hugged me even tighter than I thought was possible.

"I'm so…stupid," she sobbed, her hands grabbing at my arms. "I just feel so…so off, Seth, really….I mean, I don't feel like myself when you're not…"

"Here?"

She nodded. "I do too, Regs. I really do. It's not just you."

Regan took a shaky breath, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth for a moment as she processed what I was saying. "You mean…it's not just me?"

"No," I admitted slowly. "I don't feel the same without you either."

She thought a moment, clearly mulling over my words in her head. "I felt sick…and just…on edge. I wanted to throw up half the time, and my head was just pounding whenever I started to miss you. I felt so….not like me, I guess? It just…confused me. I'm not one of those girls who…"

"Who what?" I prodded gently.

"…who would…make up something like that to…to get you to…"

I actually cracked a smile. "I know you wouldn't make up a pregnancy for attention. That's not you, Regs. I know it's not. You were scared," I replied, trying my best to soothe her. She nodded, stepping back a bit. We sat down on her bed, and I winced a little.

I knew I needed to tell her about the imprint.

She was an adult now, and I knew that I had ever right to explain what had made her feel so 'off'. We were made for each other, plain and simple. We belonged together, and being apart made us long for the other so badly that we almost weren't ourselves - I had seen it countless times in my pack brothers. Regan and I had, albeit quietly, made the choice to be together. A wolf could be patient while waiting for his mate to be ready both on a physical and emotional level, however, once the choice was made….

Imprinting didn't really work backwards.

Once you made that choice, you couldn't go back to the 'just friends' façade. Jake was definitely right.

Certainly not.

But did I really want to tell her she was my imprint, my life, my perfect match after a pregnancy scare?

No.

I wanted to tell her the best way I could.

Maybe over a romantic dinner. Or on the beach, or….somewhere classic.

Not Bella's old, aqua blue bedroom.

Not while my mom was downstairs.

Regan scooted a little closer to me on the bed, and I could feel the heat from her radiating through her thin pajama bottoms. Oh dear lord.

She leaned over slowly, and the pull to her was like a magnet. We rested our foreheads together, my hand finding hers like it was second nature. She watched as I wove our fingers together again, making that perfect match of pale skin and brown.

I knew I needed to tell her, but that would have to be a can of worms for another night. I needed to get back to Brady and the rest of the pack soon. I felt like a jackass for leaving them, but I knew Lexi wouldn't wake up for another day or so.

I was being selfish.

But I didn't care.

I would tell Regan about the imprint, and about Lexi another night.

She looked up at me, our foreheads still touching. I watched her eyes cross slightly as she tried to meet my gaze, and I couldn't resist. Leaning forward, I let my lips brush against hers.

Her mouth was coated with sweet desire, and I had a hard time passing that up for anything. Her hand found my cheek, and my hand found her waist, and before I could summon an ounce of control we were tangled up on her bed like two teenagers who were home alone for the first time. I crawled on top of her, hovering over her soft body. She moaned a little when she realized how turned on I was - almost like she was egging me on.

She wanted me.

I stopped suddenly, ripping myself away from her.

This wasn't right - not now. Not with one of my pack brothers at his lowest low, and sinking further. Not with Charlie and Sue downstairs. I was across the room and at the window in a flash.

"Seth?" she called in surprise. She opened her eyes slowly, her heart stuttering for a second.

"I….I shouldn't," I responded, running my shaky hand through my hair. She sighed softly, her pink tongue darting out to lick her lips.

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yes….and I don't care."

"Regan…"

"Please Seth…I just…I need…" she whimpered, biting her lip. The tears were no longer spilling out of her big green eyes, but still - How could I do this to her? How could I make her feel pain like this? I shouldn't…and I couldn't. I followed the pull across the room to her, kneeling beside her bed.

"Regan, we can't be like this together. It's not right," I murmured. She choked out another quiet sob and lunged at me, throwing her arms desperately around my neck. Fresh hot tears burned against my skin, and I fought back my own. I was miserable without her.

"Seth…please don't go. I just…please stay with me."

"I can't."

"I just…I know you won't hurt me, and….I just need you. I need you so m-much," she cried, grasping at me wildly.

I couldn't resist her anymore, and I didn't want to.

"I don't want to be away from you. I can't take you being mad at me and…and not coming around me…I just…I've been…" she didn't finish her sentence as I crawled into the small bed with her. I sighed in content as she pressed her small body up against mine, digging her nose into my chest. We laid side by side, her hands raking up and down my chest. Her nails scraped me delightfully as I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Regan, " I mumbled as she began to plant kisses on my bare chest. Her lips felt amazing, and I could quickly feel myself losing control. What was it about upset, crying girls that made them want to jump guys sometimes? Was distress and anguish a turn on? Apparently it was by the way she was pawing at me.

"I could never be upset with you. That's not why I was gone…"

But she wasn't listening.

Her leg went up over my waist, , pressing her center against my thin, worn, cargo shorts. There went that whole control thing. Fuck.

I stiffened almost instantly, the smell of her excitement hitting my nose. I went into wolf mode after that. My mate needed release, and so I was going to give it to her. I knew it was wrong, and I knew that these weren't the right circumstances, but….I couldn't help it. I couldn't deny her body something that it was clearly asking me for.

"Seth," she panted between kisses, pulling her body up towards my face. I pressed my lips together to keep from kissing her, but she had other ideas. Her mouth pressed up against my chin, giving my entire body goose bumps as she feathered even more kisses against my face and neck. When her mouth finally met mine, I felt any resolve I was still maintaining fall to the wayside.

Regan's excited, enticing scent swirled in my nose, further clouding my judgment as I kissed her. Our tongues swirled together aggressively, wanting much much more than what we were doing.

"Regan, I shouldn't-"

"Don't Seth…please, just…I-I-need you," she whispered urgently, tightening her leg even harder around my waist. That was all I needed to hear.

Her shirt came off in an instant, flying to the floor. I moved closer to her as I kissed down her neck. Her chest heaved with quiet, raspy breaths as pulled me closer to her. I ran my tongue down her neck, darting it out to taste her sweet skin. My mind screamed at me to take my time and cherish her, but the wolf begged me to please my mate as fast as possible.

I had never felt so positively wild.

Everything I was worrying about, everything that should matter, I just….tossed out the damn window. Fuck it.

I kissed and licked my way down her chest, relieved to see that she indeed was not wearing a bra to bed. When my mouth circled her nipple, her head jerked to the side and she bit her lip. Her hips lifted up off the bed in a small thrusting motion as I kissed and sucked at her pointed tip. I felt my erection jerk when her hand wound itself in my hair and scraped at my scalp. Her tiny fingers clutched at my roots, giving me a slight yet delightful pain. It pushed me closer to her as I flicked my tongue over her pointed peak.

"Oh, fuck," she muttered, jerking her hips up again. My hand instinctively went down to the elastic band of the top of her panties where it paused.

I rarely heard her swear and….damn if it wasn't the hottest thing ever.

"Regan…"

"Just touch me Seth," she insisted, grabbing my hand. She pushed it down to her center, making me rub my fingers against the outside of her pajama bottoms. She thrust my hand inside them, rubbing herself with my fingers. Talk about hot. I could feel the heat emanating from her center, and I felt something snap inside of me.

I pushed the flimsy elastic to the side, not even bothering to take them off. Regan moaned a deep, guttural sound as I inserted a finger inside of her, my thumb pushing up to press against her most sensitive spot. I continued to kiss, suck, and bite at her perfect breasts and neck as my hand worked against her hot center. It was driving me wild. I wanted so badly to pull my pants down and join myself with her, but something stopped me. I couldn't do that to her; not again. When I had found her crying in her room tonight, something snapped in me.

Her body grinded against my hand, thrusting her hips in small, jerky movements. Just as her walls continued to clench, I added another finger to the mix. Regan sighed into my shoulder as I fingered her, my movements increasing.

"Mmmm, Seth," she groaned into my chest, her hand gripping the sheets beside her. I devoured the nipple closest to my face again, sensing that she was close.

My imprint needed release, and I was going to give it to her.

She moved against my hand, whimpering and writhing beside me. I pressed my thumb to a different angle on her sensitive bud and she sucked in her breath in a ragged gasp. I continued, taking that as good sign. I smiled inwardly at the ability the imprint gave me to sense what she needed the most.

Regan began to grind harder against my hand, short little pants escaping her lips.

"God Reg, you make me crazy," I panted against her neck. She turned her head to the side, crashing her lips into mine as I continued to pleasure her. Her wetness coated my fingers as they continued to move within her, coaxing her release from her small body.

She panted quickly a few more times, her hands balling up the sheets as I did my best to read her body for what she needed.

"I…I'm…ulgh," she groaned into my chest as I helped her ride out her climax. She writhed against my hand, her center clenching gloriously against me. My body was positively aching, but there was nothing I could do about it, at least not tonight.

"Oh God," she panted quietly, her hand flying up to her forehead. She pushed her tousled brown locks away from her eyes. Slowly, she met my gaze as I untangled myself from her. Her body went a little slack, and her thrumming heart began to slow.

I was silent, averting my eyes as she came back down from the high I had given her. I felt powerful in that moment, although a little shameful. It was a selfish decision to leave my pack behind, but pleasing her like that had given me a huge dose of confidence. Satisfaction sizzled through both of us as we lay there together.

"Can you stay?" she asked hopefully, reaching up to grab my hand. I leaned down against her, pulling her bare shoulders closer. I sighed into the top of her head, shaking mine slightly.

"No…I really can't. I would if…."

I trailed off. I would if what? If she wasn't living with my mom and step dad?

She nodded, her hand finding my hip. She pulled herself closer, molding into my body effortlessly.

"Do you really have to leave?"

"You think I'm just saying that?"

She laughed a little to herself, her breath still shaky. "No, I know you wouldn't."

I thought a moment. "I can stay until you fall asleep. Would that be okay?"

She sighed deeply, pulling me closer if that was possible. "I'll take it, yeah."

I kissed the top of her head and snickered a little. "That's my girl."

"I wish…"

"What?"

"I wish I could be."

I smiled to myself, resting my head on hers. "You are. No one knows it yet, but…they will."

She was silent for a moment. Then, she shocked me a little.

"You said…you said you're frozen, right?"

I nodded, a little reluctant. "If I keep turning into a wolf, I….I would still look like this in a hundred years. I haven't aged a day in over a decade."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wow," she breathed, hugging me a little tighter.

"Why do you ask?" I prodded. I had a feeling I knew, but I wanted to hear her say it.

And then she did.

"I want you to wait for me Seth. Is that selfish?"

The breath left my chest. I would wait for her. There was no doubt in my mind.

"I'm not going anywhere Regs. I couldn't."

I stayed with her until she fell asleep, her breaths low and even. Her body relaxed a little, but her arms stayed tightly around my body, even deep in slumber. I laid there for another hour or so, just listening to her breathing and steady heartbeat. Untangling myself from her, I stood slowly and let my gaze linger on her for a few more seconds. She looked so peaceful and calm, and I was trying my best to channel that and keep it with me - I would need it for later.

I needed to tell her about Lexi, about the imprinting, about everything. There needed to be no secrets between us.

I would tell her.

Soon.

"Things won't always be this hard," I said to her, my voice just above a whisper. "I promise."

As I leapt from the window, flashes of what I hoped my future with her would be like raced through my mind. It all seemed so far away now, but….at least now, it was getting closer.


	41. Chapter 41

Seth

I left after that. I hit the ground and phased on the fly, destroying my shorts and kicking up the ground with a disgusted grunt. I knew I had done something utterly selfish by escaping the catastrophe in the woods and running to Regan, but it felt good to do something for myself for once.

Satisfying her had satisfied me.

As soon as I phased I could hear Jake in my head, trying to sort everything out.

Can you come back?

Sure. Sorry…I admitted, feeling foolish for what I had done.

Jake gave me the equivalent of a mental shrug and urged me to come to the forest. I sensed in his mind that he couldn't blame me for giving into my imprint's needs - he would have done the same thing.

Thanks Jake, I said.

I'd do the same thing for Ness. But you need to come back, she….

Jake looked at Lexi, giving me a mental picture of her as I ran.

Why isn't she screaming yet? I asked.

He didn't know. He guessed that it was because her body was in so much shock from being thrown from the treetops.

I watched through our pack link as he bowed his head and sniffed along her arm, wincing a little at the smell.

The venom was spreading rapidly now.

I raced to find them, following the minds of my pack mates. The Cullens were due to arrive any moment, and I could sense the pack's nervousness. Even though the treaty still existed, that didn't make things exactly easy for us.

Vampires were still considered enemies.

The nervousness the pack was feeling was hanging in the air, making the already tense night worse. My feet churned beneath me as I ran back to where the pack was located deep in the forest. I knew we would need to move Lexi back to my house once the Cullens arrived so that they could help her. They were our only hope.

The pack had never had the sole responsibility of handling a newborn vampire, and I was guessing that they wouldn't ever want to.

Wolf or no wolf, Lexi was my friend and I knew deep in my heart that I would do anything to help her. I knew what it was like to completely lose yourself or the person you thought you were and transition into a monster. Any help would I'm sure be welcomed.

I found the small clearing and slid to a halt, surveying the rest of the pack.

My mind slipped before I had a chance to wrangle it in.

It feels like when Renesmee was born all over again, when we were waiting for Bella… I trailed off, instantly shamed of my thought.

Jake looked up at me, still in wolf form. His eyes were a little hurt, but he wasn't upset.

It's okay. That day gave me Renesmee, he stated simply, brushing it off.

There was an uncomfortable moment as I felt ashamed for brining up something so painful. We had never forgotten the uncertainty and fear of that day, and I had been stupid to bring it up.

Did Edward say when he would get here?

He just said soon, I told Jake.

They're vampires….I hate when vamps come to town, Collin whined.

It's the Cullens, Collin. Calm down, I replied. They're going to help our friend.

We need help. Jacob urged the rest of the pack. We need to have our wits about us for when she wakes up. It will be chaos, and we need to be ready. We don't know what she'll do, so we need to have a plan of action. Edward is the best person for that. He'll know how to handle her without hurting her. She can't have a bunch of wolves around; she'll try to kill us all. We're her natural enemy. She needs other vampires, Jacob suggested wisely. I agreed with him wholeheartedly, showing the rest of my pacing pack that we needed to remain calm.

Organized.

We're going to be okay. Edward will know what to do, I assured him. We were right to call the Cullens.

Jacob's chest rumbled as he surveyed the bloody girl on the forest floor. I just want this to go as well as…..well, as well as it can. Vampire or not, she's still his imprint. We need to be ready. She can't wake up a vampire surrounded by her natural enemy.

Do you think….do you think it matters how she wakes up? Do you think if she wakes up and everyone is calm and collected that will help her?

Definitely. When Bella woke up….he trailed off, his mind struggling with that bit of information. Sorry, it's….it's been awhile since I thought about that. But yeah, when she woke up they were all organized. They knew what they were doing. I definitely think that will help.

Should Brady be there? I asked.

He shrugged again. Hard to tell. That's going to be in two days. I'll see what progress he makes in two days. If he's like this…. Jake looked at Brady's still trembling form on the ground next to Lexi. He looked like he was about five minutes away from a straightjacket.

I get your point, I muttered.

It won't be healthy for her. Either way, she's going to wake up very confused and maybe even violent. She wasn't prepared for this to happen.

Who is? I asked.

Bella was. But…that's neither here nor there. She's going to wake up and we need to help her. Even if Brady refuses the imprint - which I doubt can happen….even if he does, she'll still be an innocent girl who had her life taken away from her tonight. It's our duty to help her.

He looked around at the rest of the pack, scanning the wolves present. Do you hear me? We have to remember she's an innocent.

Never thought I'd hear you talk like that.

Well, it's true. She didn't ask to be pulled up into the tree and bitten. Hell, that vamp was only after her because she was hanging around with Brady. Do you think he would have picked her if it wasn't for him and his temper?

No.

My point exactly. So, technically it's his faul- Jacob stopped himself before finishing his dangerous thought. I looked over at Lexi's body, hoping for the best.

Do you know what will happen?

What do you mean? he asked.

I mean….if she wakes up a vampire…what effect will that have on their imprint?

Jacob shrugged. You know as much as I do. I mean…Ness is half vamp.

She doesn't smell weird to you.

No, not at all. But does she smell…to you?

No, I laughed. She smells like wildflowers and sunlight. Very soothing, I chuckled.

Exactly. So, I don't know what will happen to their imprint when she wakes up. Will he still feel the same way? Will they want to kill each other? What if they are just indifferent?

I waited patiently as our conversation slowed. Jacob mulled the questions around in his head and I felt his uneasiness. The rest of the pack backed off a bit, leaving us with the quiet mental hum as we discussed what was going to happen.

I wish Edward was here, Jacob muttered, pacing around Lexi.

I laughed inwardly. Well if that isn't one for the books!

Jacob shrugged. I just…he knows what he's doing…I trust him. I trust him to know how to help Lexi. We have to help her….for Brady's sake.

I looked down at my pack mate who was still looking comatose, sitting naked on the forest floor with Lexi's limp hand in his. He stroked her skin, raspy breaths leaving his body every few moments. His eyes stared at her bruised, bloodied face with so much longing that it nearly broke my heart.

With some urging, we at least got him to put some pants on, but he refused to leave Lexi and eat.

I sighed deeply, my mind remembering this moment. I wanted nothing more than to forget, but I still realized that this day would be with me forever. It would haunt me for forever. I looked upwards through the tall trees of the deep forest, my gifted eyes catching sight of the rain. One by one the droplets fell down through the branches of the tall trees. The first hit my face with a tiny splat and from there I could hear the rest of the droplets as they hit the dried leaves around us.

For the first time in a long time, a deep chill settled into my bones.

I felt cold.

My eyes fell on Brady. I watched a droplet of rain slide down his shoulder, dripping onto the muddy ground. The light drizzle of pre-dawn rain joined with his tears, the two becoming one.

It was like the world was crying with him.

"She'll wake up?" he asked. Embry, who was still in human form, nodded. "It might take a few days, but-"

He was cut off suddenly by some movement.

The tips of Lexi's fingers suddenly twitched.

Brady's eyes lit up suddenly. I saw a mixture of fear and hope in them as he waited with baited breath to see what would happen next.

I don't think any of us were prepared for what happened next.

The tips of her fingers twitched again, and suddenly her hands were in balled up fists. A struggled breath came from her mouth, and another was sucked in. She whimpered, a shudder rippling down her spine. And then, her heart began beating.

"Lexi? Lex, can you hear me?" Brady gasped, crouching back over her. His hands grabbed her arms, and I winced.

Lexi's eyes suddenly flashed open. Brady let go in shock, his jaw falling open as she stared lifelessly up at the trees above.

Then, her mouth fell open and a blood curdling scream filled the air.

This scream was….one of the most awful things I had ever heard.

I could practically hear the way the dry fire was already creeping through her vocal cords, twisting and wrenching them as her desperate cry pierced the air.

It sounded painful.

And yet, she still screamed.

She screamed as if that was the only thing helping her hold on as the fire ripped through her small body.

"Lex," Brady whimpered, a fresh set of tears forming in his eyes. I watched, powerless as they spilled over and down his cheeks.

I wouldn't trade him places for every dollar on the planet.

Lexi shrieked again, pausing only to suck in another breath of air before screaming again. Her cries echoed off the trees, their desperate timber making my bones ache. I could practically feel the pain that was radiating through her. An icy chill settled over me as I watched Embry try to settle the now thrashing girl's body. Brady let out another sob, his body beginning to shake once more.

"Lex….Lex baby, I'm so sorry," he choked.

She cried out again, clenching her teeth together. Her fists were balled up, a violent hissing noise coming from her teeth as she tried to breathe.

I winced. She had come around just in time to feel the effects of the venom as it was coursing through her entire body. Edward had shared with me what transformation was like; he had gone through it himself, and he had heard many of his family members endure the same thing. His firsthand account was stomach-turning. I wished I knew less about it as Lexi began to whimper on the ground in front of me.

I knew far too many details about what she was enduring.

I wish it was possible to unlearn something.

As I watched Brady cower over his changing imprint, I had never wanted to unlearn something that much.

Ever.

We stood and did nothing but watch - what else could we do? And then, we heard it.

The steady, light footfalls of only one thing.

Vampires.

Calm down! I urged through the pack mind. It's Edward…I recognize those footsteps anywhere….

Who else is with him? Someone thought.

I frowned, trying to listen. The sound was familiar, but I couldn't place it.

Seconds later, Edward slid into the clearing. With him was one of the last people I would have thought to bring.

Rosalie paused beside her brother, eyeing us all with her strange gold eyes and giving her long, silvery blonde hair a defiant toss. I dare you, it clearly said. I heard a few errant growls, but most of the pack backed away. I phased back, changing quickly so that I could greet him.

"You could have stayed," Edward muttered, giving me a quick glance. He knelt down to Lexi's side, focusing on the crescent shaped gash on her neck. He looked across her body at Brady, who was still visibly on the edge.

"Can you….stop it?" he begged.

Edward stared at him sadly, finally shaking his head. "The venom is too far along to stop it. She's already changing."

Brady let another sob escape his lips. He choked a little, bending over her body as he cried.

Edward winced. "You shouldn't….touch her," he finally muttered, his golden eyes flicking up to meet Brady's. Brady blanched, growling at him.

Lexi screamed again. Her cry was cut off with a gurgling sound, and I winced.

I didn't want to know.

"Don't tell me how to treat my imprint!"

"You're hurting her," Edward said softly, standing up. He walked over to me, watching Brady the whole time.

Brady paused, lifting his hands off of her body. "You…you can hear her can't you?"

"Yes."

"What…does she know?"

"She's drifting in and out. She doesn't realize what happened. There's not much we can do now but wait."

"Is she…is she in pain?"

Edward nodded, looking over at his sister. They shared a meaningful look before turning back to him.

"Yes. The venom is traveling through her body right now, burning out all of her human cells. The process is…"

"Excruciating," Rosalie cut in. She stepped closer to Lexi, kneeling down next to her.

I watched as the blonde girl looked at Lexi's body almost mournfully. Her mouth fell open slightly as Lexi whimpered.

"I remember every detail," she replied, ghosting her hand down Lexi's arm. "To burn like that is…something she'll never forget."

Brady watched her carefully, his eyes ever leaving Rosalie's face. "So why are you here, Blondie? If I remember correctly, sensitivity isn't exactly your style."

Rosalie's head flashed up with a warning growl. "I know what this is like, dog!" she snapped between clenched teeth. We were all frozen with surprise for a second after Rosalie's outburst. I watched her hand tremble a bit as she moved a piece of Lexi's hair out of her face, then picked up her arm to gently rest it on her stomach at a less awkward angle.

"I know what it's like to have your life ripped away from you," she whispered softly, staring down at the girl with pity. "I know what it's like to have it tossed aside like a piece of trash for someone else's revenge."

Brady watched her silently.

"I know what this is like," she whispered, still staring down at Lexi.

"Can you help her?" Brady asked, his voice tinged with desperation.

She nodded, looking up at her brother.

"I can hear her mind. She's fighting the pain right now, but….we can help her in any way we can. To ease the….change," he said slowly. Brady nodded. It wasn't like him to want to accept help from anyone, but I sensed his desperation.

Vampire or not, I knew Lexi was still his imprint.

Rosalie stared across Lexi's body at Brady. "Will you let us help her?"

Brady gave her a stern, skeptical glare. "You swear you'll help her get through this?"

Rosalie's golden eyes glimmered a little in the dim light. I wondered if she would be crying right now if she could cry. I glanced at Edward, and he nodded.

Rosalie gave Brady a sad smile, glancing down at the bloodied girl on the ground. She took Lexi's hand in her pale one and softly touched it.

"This girl….this girl was me. I know what it's like to have your life taken from you…at the very start of it. Before you've even lived. I know what it's like to wake up a…." she trailed off, giving him another sad look.

Brady nodded, giving his consent. Rosalie carefully picked up Lexi's body, cradling her head in her hand. In a movement so swift I nearly missed it, she had taken off.

"Can we set up at your house?" Edward asked me.

I nodded quickly. "Of course. You don't have to ask."

"Thank you."

"No," I said, looking in Brady's direction before looking back at Edward. "Thank you. We couldn't do this without you Edward."

He nodded, looking over at Brady, who was standing a few feet away and trembling.

"We'll take her to the house, and get her cleaned up. Carlisle will be here in a few hours. He's done this many times, Brady. We can help her."

Brady trembled visibly, giving Edward what I'm sure was the most polite nod he could manage at the moment. Edward watched him carefully.

"Thank you," he said quietly. My friend turned to leave, but Brady reached out and stopped him.

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"Can I…." he trailed off, looking at the vampire before him.

Edward nodded. "It would be a risk. You are, after all, human."

I frowned; did Brady really want to be in the room when a newborn vampire awoke?

I shifted uncomfortably at the thought. When Lexi woke up, she would be a challenge for even Emmett, and that was saying something.

He must have a death wish.

"Fuck the risk. I want to be there. Will…will she know me?"

Edward gave him a sat stare. "It's hard to tell what's leftover sometimes. But most likely, yes."

"Do you know…what will happen?" he asked.

Edward stepped closer, his gaze softening. "She'll wake up. Alice will be here soon, and she can tell us more. Come to the house with us. Sit with her while…." he stopped, swallowing his words. He didn't want to finish.

Sit with her while she burned.

At that moment, the excruciating venom was still ripping through her human veins, reeking absolute havoc on her body as it changed.

I didn't envy Lexi.

However, it became clear with one look in Brady's desperate eyes that he would gladly switch places with the girl.

He nodded, and soon we were all phased and heading towards my house. I paused when I got there and phased back, cringing at the state of my house. Esme would surely have a fit with me for being so messy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do more than cringe.

All I could think about was what I would be feeling in Brady's position. No wonder he was out of his mind.

That was his imprint.

Several hours went by. I stood up from my place on the couch, stretching. It was dark out; I wasn't sure what time it was and I didn't care. I glanced out the large windows to the backyard, my eyes falling on a few wolves as they stood guard at the tree line.

The worst part was the uncertainty.

I knew the rest of the Cullens would arrive at any second, and I wanted to at least be here to greet them. With my tired joints protesting, I climbed the stairs to the study where I could hear Edward talking with Rosalie.

"She likes that. I can…she's starting to think a little clearer now," I heard him say.

I peered in the cracked door of Carlisle's office, the harsh smell of chemicals hitting my nose.

Bleach.

"We don't want her to smell any blood…even her own will set her into a frenzy," Edward answered my thought. I allowed myself a tiny smile before stepping inside.

Rosalie stood on the side of the table, her sleeves pushed up and her hair in a messy ponytail. I had never seen her so unkempt, but my heart went out to her a little. She stood beside the table where Lexi was, running a washcloth over her arm. The dried blood and mud wiped away easily, leaving her still-tan skin clean.

Soon, she would no longer have her California girl tan.

I shuddered to myself.

"When will Alice be here?"

"About twenty minutes. They went to get…supplies before we left."

Brady shifted in the corner, and I jumped slightly. I hadn't even noticed him as he sat slumped in a chair against the windows.

"What do you mean, 'supplies'?"

Edward turned slightly, his golden eyes thoughtful. "It might help her to have some blood right away. Might make her less apt to do something….rash," he answered quietly.

Brady recoiled a little, but said nothing.

I had never seen him so quiet.

Rosalie paused, adjusting the hospital gown the Lexi now wore. I watched as she carefully placed Lexi's hand at her side, patting it lightly. Her sad, golden eyes scanned the rest of her body with a thoughtful look. Reaching up, she adjusted Lexi's damp hair around the pillow, fluffing it slightly on the flat table.

I gained a lot of respect for Rosalie that night.

I watched her help the burning girl, treating her like a china doll as she quietly whimpered through the pain. Edward read Lexi's mind, telling his sister where she was hurting the most, and Rosalie would gently wipe her down with ice water.

I walked over to Brady and looked down at him. "Do you need anything?"

I waited for the snappy response, expecting him to snarl at me.

But that never came.

"Yes," he croaked, never taking his eyes off Lexi from across the room. "Go be with her."

"What?" I asked.

Brady shivered slightly, looking up at me. A few tears dripped from his eyes, and he blinked them away.

"Go be with Regan. Go….do what I can't."

I was tired.

As I put the Bronco in park, I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus through the rain. I had been up for almost two days helping Edward with Lexi. It was painful to watch the girl as she burned, and even more painful to be in Brady's head.

His imprint was a vampire.

What would I do if my imprint was a vampire?

I had refused to leave him at first, but as it became apparent that nothing was going to change I knew I needed to see Regan. Strangely, I felt like I was seeing Regan for Brady.

Opening the door, I practically crawled out of the Bronco and headed up to the front door of my mother's house. I was near death - or at least I felt like it, but I needed to see Regan before going home and going to bed for a few days.

I had a feeling it would be a long time before I saw sleep though.

It had been a little over a day since she had been bitten, and I was desperate for some food. Brady refused to eat and my adopted family of vampire didn't eat, so I had more than one excuse to come to my mother's house.

My mom looked up as I entered the kitchen, her dark eyes looking as tired as I felt.

"Hey," she greeted me, walking over. "Is everything alright?"

I shook my head 'no.' I pulled her into a wordless hug, and she obliged. She stared up at me, holding me against her in a tight grasp.

"Tell me?"

I swallowed, breaking away from her to go to the sink and stare out the kitchen window.

"There was an accident and…"

"Is Regan okay?"

I turned around, blinking at her in shock. "Of course. No, it was….it was Lexi. She got…bitten. By a vampire. She's going to wake up in a few hours, and…she's one of them now," I finally choked out. I turned back around, gripping the kitchen sink so hard it creaked under my grasp.

I heard my mother suck in a breath of air, and her hand hit the table. She leaned on it in support, breathing ragged.

"That poor….sweet girl," she whispered, closing her eyes. I strode across the kitchen, pulling her in again and holding her against my chest. I hugged my mom tightly, both of our hearts breaking for Lexi, and yet thankful that Regan was safe.

She pulled back, a small tear sliding down her tan cheek. "Seth….I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for that girl….I just…you have to keep Regan safe. Now more than ever-"

"-I know mom. Believe me…I know."

I heard a door slam, and second later Charlie walked into the kitchen to see me hugging my mom. We pulled apart, my mom still sniffling sadly.

"Dare I ask?" Charlie asked awkwardly. Sue walked over to him, throwing her arms around him.

"Sometimes I wish you weren't a cop," she admitted, hugging him tightly.

Charlie glanced at me over the top of her head, and frowned at me.

"You want to explain not showing up to work today?" he asked after my mom had released him.

I shrugged, motioning for him to follow me outside. He grunted, but obliged. We walked outside the front door, pausing on the front steps. I sat down, my body singing with relief to finally be resting. Charlie followed suite, settling down on the top step with a crack of his knees. It was strange to watch someone else age when you weren't.

I looked at him sideways, trying to figure out where to start.

"Charlie….how much do you know?"

He pursed his lips, gazing out at the rain.

"That's a pretty general little question, Clearwater."

I chuckled to myself, nodding. "Fair enough."

He was silent for a moment, and I could practically hear his mind working.

"What are you getting at?" he asked.

I stared out at the gloomy rain, realizing that Regan would be home any second. I had to get this off my chest, and quick.

"There was an accident," I began. "The other night, when I left the office. You remember the howl. Something happened. Something bad, Charlie."

He looked at me carefully, his brown eyes searching my face. He looked back out at the rain.

"Do I want to know?"

I shrugged carefully, trying to gauge his reaction so far.

"I'm not sure. I mean, you always go with your 'don't ask, don't tell' response, but I'm really asking you - do you want to know?"

I didn't know what was going to happen. As Lexi's friend and protector, it would be partly my duty to Brady and the rest of the pack to keep her safe, vampire or not. That meant guarding her secret. As a cop, it surely meant starting the missing person search that would surely arise when her father noticed her missing. I knew it was only a matter of a few hours.

Which role did I fulfill? The wolf or the cop?

It was a nasty choice with no happy endings.

"Is everyone okay?"

"Regan is fine," I muttered. "But no, not everyone is okay."

"It's not…it's not Jake or Nessie, is it? Or Bella? Or…or Edward?" he choked out lastly.

"Do you want to keep playing guessing games Charlie, or do you want to know what's really going on?"

He muttered nonsense under his breath, still wondering if it was about Bella.

I shook my head. "No, they're fine. But…I'm asking you Charlie, do you want to know? Can you handle what I'm about to tell you?"

He stared forward. "Spit it out."

"Well," I began, "Speaking of Bella….how do I put this. Um…There was an accident, and…..and Lexi got hurt."

His head whipped around. "Regan's little blonde friend?":

I tried to bite back my grin. "Yes. Regan's friend. She….she had an accident, and her boyfriend…Brady," I said, giving him a knowing glance, "wasn't able to….save her."

Charlie shuddered a little. He knew…or at least he knew now…what Brady was. That he was one of us.

I swallowed hard.

"So….is Lexi…dead?"

I blanched a little, trying to keep my poker face. Technically, yes.

"No, she isn't dead. In fact….speaking of Bella….she looks a lot more like…like Bella now."

Charlie didn't say anything for a long time after that. He licked his lips, staring out at the rain for a few silent moments before he spoke again.

"Seth…."

Nothing could have prepared me for what came out of Charlie Swan's mouth after that.

"Yeah Chief?"

"I….I know about Bella."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

"W-what?" I stammered.

He nodded, still staring forward. "I know about Bella," he repeated.

"Wait, what? She…she TOLD you?"

Charlie held up his hand. "Calm down. She didn't….come out and say it. But….I know that…." he trailed off, his face looking more worn and tired than it should. "My daughter isn't….she isn't normal anymore, is she?"

I shook my head slowly. My stomach did a huge flop. "No, Charlie, she certainly isn't."

He hung his head a little, staring down at the concrete steps.

"I think I always knew….that wedding felt like goodbye. I…I guess I knew something was up with…the Cullens. But…you can't help but buy into it all, you know?"

"Buy into it?"

He shook his head. "You know. The glitz of it all. How they all look like marble statues. The flash of that….lifestyle," he said. "It's different, but….I knew that wasn't why Bells did it."

I nodded, urging him on. Now I wasn't so sure what Bella had told him.

"I….I knew when Jake….changed, or…whatever, that…what he said was right. I don't live in the world I thought I did. I knew something was up."

Leave it to Charlie to be collected in a situation like this one.

"I know that something is different. I'm not sure what it is, but…I know my daughter isn't what she used to be."

"What's that?"

He smirked a little. "Human."

I choked on my spit. "What do you mean?"

He gave me a shrug. "She….none of them are…I figured it out when…when I saw her just a few years ago. She's the same girl, but, she's different. I can't explain it, and- don't you dare try-but she's different. My daughter…my daughter isn't human anymore, is she Seth?"

I shrugged. "Do you consider me human?"

He smirked again. "Not especially. Just answer my question, punk. Is my daughter human?"

It was my turn to smirk. "Not especially," I answered with a grin.

He shuddered again for a second, but visibly tried to remain good natured about it all.

"Is she as perfect as she seems? Happy, I mean?"

I nodded, patting him on the shoulder. "Charlie, I think she hides a little of the happiness she feels to be honest. She doesn't want to ruin the human charade. She's so happy with the way things turned out that she couldn't be any better if you dreamed it up yourself. Trust me."

He looked at me sideways. "I do," he answered.

A lump formed in my throat. A big lump of something that wanted out - the truth. I would risk a lot by telling Charlie my secret about imprinting. He knew a lot already; hell, I had just confirmed for him that his daughter was something out of storybooks.

"I don't know…when it all changed. You, Jake, Bells….makes you wonder."

I clasped my hands in front of me, staring out at the rainy street. "Makes you wonder what?"

He gave me a wry smile. "Makes you wonder how you never noticed it before."

Charlie sighed, and I felt a little uneasy. Maybe he wasn't ready to hear all of it. Maybe I wasn't ready to tell him. Either way, the decision was taken away from me as Claire pulled up to the house and Regan bounced out of the car. She started up the steps, jumping a little as her eyes fell on the two of us, just sitting there.

"Oh!" she gasped, her brilliant green eyes shining. They locked with mine, a slight blush rising up in her cheeks as she stared at me momentarily.

I smiled to myself as I heard her heart quicken.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hey, I greeted. Charlie cleared his throat awkwardly, as if to remind us he was still present.

"Have a good day at school?"

Regan nodded, tucking a strand of her long hair behind her ears as her bright eyes bounced between us.

"Um, yeah, I suppose. Just some ACT prep."

Charlie grumbled. "Oh, yeah. I remember that. Well, other than that?"

I looked at Charlie in surprise. He was more loquacious with Regan than I had ever seen him be with anyone who wasn't myself, Sue, or Bella.

"Fine I guess. Lexi was sick today, so I had to deal with Claire all by myself."

My gut turned guiltily inside of me. That was another thing I had to eventually come clean about. As my imprint, Regan had every right to know about vampires - hell, one of her best friends was in the process of becoming one. It wasn't fair for me to have to tell her the same lie about Lexi that I would have to tell everyone else. She wouldn't be returning to school, or maybe even to Forks. I couldn't let Regan think one of her closest friends had just abandoned her.

"Claire doing better?"

Regan shrugged in a way that was a little defiant. Her gaze shifted to Charlie, and they shared a strange look. I watched as he nodded uncomfortably, and I wondered what all that had been about.

We got up and followed her inside, where my mom was getting dinner ready. She invited me to stay and pretended she didn't notice the questioning look I gave Regan before I answered. I watched my imprint smirk to herself as I said yes, and we sat down to dinner. Regan boldly sat down next to me, her leg brushing against mine under the table. I looked at her sideways, trying not to smile.

Charlie cleared his throat loudly, giving me a stern look.

"You uh….think that offer over any more?"

I looked up, swallowing the bite of green bean casserole in my mouth. "What offer?"

Charlie heaved a sigh and gave me a 'duh' look. "The offer from the Seattle PD?"

I could feel Regan staring at me, and I felt myself start to turn a little pink. I hadn't intended to share the news of my offer with anyone because I wasn't even planning on considering it. I could never leave Forks.

Regan was in Forks.

Therefore, I wanted to be in Forks.

I cleared my throat, buying myself some time.

"Trying to get rid of me, Chief?" I laughed awkwardly.

"You didn't tell me about that…" my mom said skeptically.

"Me either," Regan added. I could feel the hurt in her voice. I gave them both helpless looks, trying to save myself from committing verbal suicide.

"I….I got a letter from the scout from their precinct, and….it's just a letter."

"They called today, but I told them you were off. Said he might send someone out to talk to you. It's a good opportunity for someone like you. You're young, fit….not tied down. Might be a chance to actually do something 'sides write parking tickets and catch vandalizing punks."

I let his words sink in. I would have considered it - before Regan. It would be a chance to break away from Forks and La Push and the pack, and maybe try something different for awhile. Adventure. Fast paced.

But now…that wasn't even an option.

Regan was quiet. I could practically feel her anger seething through the silence at the table.

"At least talk to the guy. Never know," Charlie said with a shrug, scooping more casserole into his mouth. I met my mother's eyes, but she said nothing.

"Why?"

"It might be a good opportunity for you, that's why. Get out of this tiny place and live a little. Nothing is holding you here, why don't you go?"

I was quiet, avoiding the question. He sighed dejectedly, turning to Regan. Perhaps he hoped he would have better luck with her.

"Been looking at colleges?"

Charlie's voice cut through my misery with a knife. I looked up at him, shooting him an unnoticed dark look. What was it, ruin everyone's life night?

Regan shifted in her chair, pushing her food around her plate as she opened her mouth to speak. "I have. I'm going to look at something out of state though. Maybe the East Coast."

"You'd go that far?" my mom asked, her eyes going a little wide.

Charlie coughed a little. "Little far…don't you think?"

Regan tossed me a defiant glare before turning her attention back to my mother. "Suuuure," she quipped, her voice a little sharp. "I might even consider Alaska! Or Canada! The further the better," she snapped, dropping her fork down on her plate with a clatter.

My mom sucked in a quiet breath and Charlie looked utterly lost, as Charlie usually did when Regan spoke. My heart felt like it was being pummeled like a piñata.

Would Regan really leave?

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Just thought I'd keep my options open. Wouldn't want to turn down a good opportunity," she added sharply. I didn't need to look at her to know that her last comment was aimed at me.

Of course it was aimed at me.

I had hurt her - unintentionally of course, but I still had.

I had no intention of moving to Seattle - but I couldn't well blurt that out at the table.

Not that she gave me a chance.

With a heavy sigh, she pushed away from the kitchen table and dumped her empty plate in the sink with a clatter. I avoided questioning eyes as we listened to the front door slam.

"What has got her so worked up?" Charlie asked Sue.

My mother took a sip of her iced tea and shrugged. "She's eighteen. What doesn't get her worked up?"

Charlie shrugged. At least she isn't engaged already. Like Bella was."

"True," my mom said, her eyes flashing to mine. I waited until she had distracted him with the hope of fresh baked brownies until I crept out of the kitchen. Opening the front door, I saw my imprint on the porch, holding her sides, watching the rain.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked. She ignored me.

"You're going to get cold," I warned. The early December air was frigid, but not yet freezing. I could feel that it was cold, but it didn't bother me.

Silence.

People like me don't do well with silence.

We have the urge to say something - anything - to fill the void.

"Say something."

She stared straight ahead, looking so beautiful that it made my chest ache in that perfect way that it did when she did something adult-like. She was getting older and older every day, and yet we still faced problems.

They were just different problems now.

Grown up problems.

As I realized this, I wasn't sure whether I was happy or sad.

Sex. Pregnancy. College.

Yup. Definitely adult problems.

"What should I say, Seth?"

I gave her a pleading look, glancing inside to make sure the living room was still empty.

"Charlie is still in the kitchen," she muttered, following my gaze. She wrapped her arms around herself as she stood on the end of the porch, just staring out at the darkening light of winter.

"I know," I said defiantly. "Listen, I don't care where Charlie is-"

"-Don't lie-"

"I wasn't!"

I walked closer to her, and she recoiled a little. I stared at her side profile again, memorizing the way her chocolate colored hair hung down, framing her heart-shaped face. Her eyelashes sloped up towards her furrowed eyebrows, making her look utterly pissed. And cute.

"The last thing I want to do is fight with you."

She looked over at me, her green eyes wide. "Three days ago, I thought I was pregnant. And…even though I'm not, it's a lot to take in."

"I'm sorry," I agreed. "I know that…it was all my fault. I could have ruined a lot of things for you."

She sighed. "What if I had been? What would I have done? Charlie and Sue probably would have kicked me out, I'd be eighteen and pregnant, no money, and…and you'd be in Seattle."

I huffed, stepping even closer. "I'm not going to Seattle, Regan. I never was. I got the stupid letter, and….and I read it. So what? It never meant I'd go."

"What's stopping you?"

"Honestly?"

"Try me."

"You."

She sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I knew that was going to be your answer somehow."

"You look upset."

I am upset! I want to…..I don't want to hold you back from something as amazing as getting to be a Seattle police officer! I don't want you to give up something for me!"

"I'm not."

"You are too!"

"I'm giving it up, but….but who cares? You're not in Seattle. I can't be there if you're not there."

"So I am holding you back!"

"So?"

"So…." she paused, trying to find her words. "So I can't do that to you. I'm just some stupid kid who….who went and fell in lo-" she stopped, biting her lip. "I'm just some girl that happens to live with your mother. I can't hold you back like that."

"You're not-" I stopped, lowering my voice. "You're not holding me back from anything."

She turned to me, her green eyes wide. "Seth, I….I don't buy it. I don't buy it at all. You….you were never meant for me, and…I'm kidding myself."

"You're not kidding yourself," I groaned, reaching out to clasp her arms in my hands. "Would you look at you? I couldn't think of anything better, personally, Regan. You don't get that I-" I stopped before I said that I loved her. I didn't want the real first time I said it to her to be in the middle of a fight. "You're perfect to me, you know that?"

She looked up at me, her cheeks turning slightly pink. "N-no."

I sighed, releasing her arms and jamming my hands in my pockets. "You're not holding me back. If anything…you…and the thought of you….drives me forward."

Regan gazed at me, her eyes a little misty.

"Swear?"

"Swear."

I could hear her breath leave her chest in a little wheezing noise, and at first I didn't know if that was good or bad. Then she threw herself at me.

I leaned down and she stood on her tiptoes, our lips coming together in sweet union. I kissed her earnestly, hoping to convey what my stupid mouth couldn't - that I loved her, and always would. I loved her from the very first day, as I would also love her until my last.

She was just it for me.

We broke apart, both of us looking to see if anyone had spotted us. No one had.

Damn, I couldn't wait for the day when I didn't have to look over my shoulder every time I kissed her.

I wanted to scream from the rooftops and taunt every man alive that this girl was mine - she belonged to me.

But she couldn't - not yet.

I sat on the railing, lowering myself down to be closer to her level. She wove herself against my chest, our arms tangling into each other. I felt better automatically.

"Oh," she breathed, resting her head below my chin. She must feel it too. I smiled to myself, hoping there would be a day soon when I could explain the imprint magic to her. I had always doubted how 'magic' it really was, but…not that I was experiencing it myself I couldn't doubt it.

I was better with her.

"I would never go to college in Alaska."

"I would never go to work in Seattle."

And with those simple words, a too-short kiss and a hug, all was right between us again.

"I should go. And you should get inside," I mumbled, rubbing her back. She nodded, squeezing me a little tighter.

"You always have to go. Stay," she half-whined, half-pleaded.

"Someday," I chuckled, standing up. She dropped her arms, looking up at me. Her mouth opened to speak, but she thought a moment and clamped it shut again.

"What?"

"I wish….that we didn't have to…hide. I mean…not assuming anything, or….anything, I just…"

I watched her stumble over her words, trying to get the gist of what she was trying to say. I held my finger over her lips, silencing her. She looked up at me as I let my hand fall back to my side before pulling her into a tight embrace so that I could whisper in her ear.

"Regan…believe me. If I could….I'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. I'd do anything you wanted to go. And I'd do it with you. I'd only ever do that for you. You know that?"

"I guess I do. It's still hard to believe."

"What is?"

"You. And me. Together. Is that weird?"

I shook my head. "No. Of course not. I mean….I've never felt this way about anyone before. I might be older, but…this is new for me too."

She smiled. "Good. You make me nervous sometimes."

"Why? The last thing I want to make you is nervous."

"Just because….you're older. You know stuff."

"What?" I snorted. "I know how to sit around in my underwear drinking beer and watching Sports Center? Come on, Regs. Being older isn't everything. When you're young, yeah sure it is. But then you get older and everything just goes to shit. You wish you were younger again."

"I can't imagine that," she said sadly.

"Why not? If I could go back and…"

"And what?"

"Go back and be eighteen again. Granted, I looked the same…"

"You did?"

I nodded. "I've look like this since I was fifteen. I told you that. I mean it - this is the same body I've had for over a decade now. I'm not getting any older."

"It's just hard to believe."

"Well believe it. This is how I've been frozen….and I'd do anything to go back and live again with you. I would. But I can't."

"I'm not asking you to turn back time, you know," she said, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. I breathed in her warm, comforting, cherry almond scent and tried my best to keep that with me. I knew I'd need it later.

She pulled back, her hand rising up to lovingly touch my face. I leaned into her touch, closing my eyes reverently as she ran her chilly fingers down my face.

"Seth, I-"

The front door swung open and my mother stepped out. "Seth….I…I think it's time for you to go home now," she hissed. She jerked her head toward the front room, where we could see Charlie settling down in his armchair. We jumped apart, trying to look innocent.

"I'll….see you," Regan muttered, giving me a tiny wave. She slunk past my mother into the house. I watched after her, my mom's stern glare breaking view.

"What?"

"Are you crazy?" she hissed. "Charlie is right inside. I don't need a second husband dropping dead of a heart attack, thank you. He would…..lose it if he saw what I just saw."

"What did you see?"

"Enough," she said, her voice low. I swallowed, trying to keep my mouth shut. As angry as I was with my mother for barging in on us, I knew I had to keep my cool. Especially around Charlie.

And I was rather glad she had caught us and not him.

"I have to get back anyway," I muttered, standing up. She gave me a remorseful look, reaching out for my hand.

"I didn't mean to….I just….if he…"

"I know I know mom. Charlie. But…honestly, sometimes I could give a damn."

"Seth!"

"Well! He's a big boy. So am I. Regan is eighteen, and he needs to get over it."

"He doesn't know!"

"I know he doesn't, but what if he did? He couldn't legally keep us apart. She's old enough to choose."

"Seth," she said, stepping closer. "This is a relationship that you are going to have…hopefully for the rest of your life. Why are you in a hurry?"

"I'm not, I just…I've been frozen, okay? Just stuck like this. For over a decade, mom, and….and now that I've found her, is it so wrong that I want to start living my life? That I want to be with the girl that I was made for?"

"I never said you were wrong. I just asked what the whole hurry was. She's young, Seth. Legal or not, she's still young. Let her live a little before she's tied down to you."

"Tied down?" I snapped. "You know I would never do that to her. I put everything concerning her needs above my own," I grumbled, "So much so that I question my own sanity at times. But I do! I put her before me. And you know what….sue me. I don't regret it for a second."

My mom crossed her arms and sighed heavily. "I'm not saying I'm right and what I say goes. You're both adults. But at least be mature enough to consider what I'm saying. She's eighteen. Give her a chance to be eighteen. Once she accepts you Seth - things will move fast. Don't make her feel like this is her life."

"And what if she chooses it?"

"If she does, then…fine. But Seth, think about who you were at eighteen. Are you even remotely that same person?"

I thought a moment, wincing at her honesty. "No. But…I don't know, I just know how much I love her and it's hard. You can't go backwards. Not with this."

She shrugged, edging toward the door. I walked over to the steps, gripping the railing in my warm hand. It was dark out already, and the rain had reduced to a steady mist. I would have to go back to help with Lexi soon - we expected her to wake up tonight as it was the end of day three. And as I thought of what would happen between Lexi and Brady, I found that I still had one more thing to say to my mother.

"You can say what you want about me mom. That I'm too involved with a girl who's too young, and it's too wrong, and…. say whatever. Just….just try to remember that I was dead on the inside until I met that girl. Maybe I didn't know it, or maybe I did and just didn't want to admit it. But I know at the end of the day I love her and I would do anything to make her happy, and that's all that matters. Don't you think I'd take care of her? I'd toss my own life away in a second if it meant keeping her safe. I'd do anything for her because you know….when I lie in bed at night I know in here," I said, putting my hand over my heart, "that she's meant for me, and I'm meant for her, and that nothing

else should matter but the fact that we're two people in this fucked up world that managed to find each other and be happy, just like you and Charlie have. Say what you want mom, but…..I still believe that age is just a number, love is love, and that's my future wife in there."

My mom didn't say much after that.

How could she?

But that was it - all of my cards were on the fucking table and I had nothing else to say about it. Well, I'm still me and I had plenty to say as always, but not tonight. I drove home so agitated and pissed that I could barely stop from shaking.

After pulling in my driveway, I whipped out my phone and sat in the Bronco, typing up a text for Regan.

Someday, I'm going to make sure the whole world knows how much I adore you.

I waited a second to see what she would say.

Someday feels so far away. But you make me happy.

You make me happier than I've ever been.

Ditto, she texted back.

I slammed the Bronco door, entering my house with a grunt. I really wanted to be alone and sulk tonight, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. We were almost sure Lexi was going to wake up tonight, and I knew I needed to be there to support Brady.

I walked inside, up the Cullen staircase that led to the living room. I saw Brady sitting alone in the living room. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, deep in thought.

I walked over to him, surveying his condition. He looked like he had showered, but he still maintained the same almost comatose looking expression on his face. His features were pale and drawn, and he wouldn't look at me.

"They….they said it would be best if I wasn't there when she wakes up. They changed their minds. Said it was too dangerous," he muttered.

I stared down at him, trying to gauge how I should respond. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him more.

"They?"

"Yeah. The whole vampy clan is in there with her right now. Jesus, can you hear that?" He whimpered, his head dipping down in agony.

I paused, listening to the noises upstairs in Carlisle's old study.

I heard it.

Lexi's pounding, frantically beating heart.

It was a heartbeat that I knew would halt soon.

And then her eyes would open.

Her blood red, newborn eyes.

Brady sucked in a shaky breath, wringing his hands together.

The entire house was completely silent.

The heartbeat rang in our ears.

I cursed my hearing.

Brady sniffed, and I realized he was crying.

"This is the last time…the last time I'll hear it," he said, choking back a sob. "Her heart. Do you know what that sound does to me?"

I nodded, sitting down a few feet from him. "It's calming."

He was silent a moment, visibly struggling to form sentences now.

"When I was so angry and about to…d-do something stupid, she…the only thing that would calm me down sometimes was to listen to that. So steady…so beautiful," he let another cry out, burying his face in his hands.

I reached out, putting my hand on his shoulder. Embry quietly walked in, his brown eyes a little wide. He sat on the other side of Brady, giving him a reassuring pat on the knee.

"It's gonna be okay," he murmured calmly. Brady sucked in a raspy breath and held it.

Then, I realized, we were all holding our breath.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

It was getting louder.

Faster.

Frantic.

I winced, trying to remind myself to be strong for my pack brother. He would need it.

Faster and faster it went.

It sounded like a helicopter was in my ear drum.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

A quick intake of breath, and then…

Nothing.

Brady's head flew up, and a breath left his chest.

And then…

Silence.


	42. Chapter 42

Seth

I swallowed the lump in my throat, blinking a few times. The cars that were flashing by the main drag of Forks slowly came into focus, and I reminded myself that I had a job to do. Looking up, I watched my radar gun as it tracked the speeds of the cars going through Forks.

Let them speed, I thought. I felt like a bad cop, but I figured as long as people weren't doing anything dangerous it was okay.

I only had an hour of work left, and then it was a typical Friday night for me.

Home by 5, beers on the back deck, then maybe a frozen pizza.

Oh, and we can't forget my new routine of a cold shower before bed.

Yeah, that one was the best.

I felt my cheeks burn as I realized the temperature of the water didn't matter.

I would still think of her….

And I would get off. And I wouldn't feel guilty about it either. I had become an addict, and I was alright with that.

I had become increasingly obsessed with Regan lately, and it wasn't healthy. Jake maintained that it was normal that I was questioning my own sanity. I felt like an obsessive stalker.

I just wanted to be with her.

Our night together in her bedroom absolutely haunted me.

Every night with Regan haunted me.

She represented the rest of my life.

My future.

I wanted it.

Now.

However, my loyalty for Charlie and respect for his feelings had won out so far. That, and the fact that my imprint still had a semester of high school left. The scars his daughter had left on him by practically running away with Edward every chance she got were still very apparent. I knew Charlie wasn't stupid - he knew he had been lied to when it came to Bella. He had forgiven his beloved daughter, but he hadn't forgot. And silly me….I was as faithful as a damn golden retriever and I couldn't hurt him by stealing Regan away the first chance I got.

I was too loyal.

Of course I cursed myself for being too loyal.

I wouldn't encourage Regan to abandon everything else in her life and run away with me to live some fairytale life. We had more reality to deal with than Edward and Bella. I loved my friends and of course envied their story-book (albeit, a strange storybook) life, but I knew that wasn't what fate had in store for me and Regan.

I wanted her to have a job she took pride in.

I wanted her to have friends outside of the pack and their imprints.

I wanted her to finish high school and especially college.

Regan was a lot like her cousin Bella, but they were also very different. My imprint was far more independent than Bella ever was. She didn't need those things. Regan was different. I was to selfless to take those things away with her just because of my obsessive love for her.

As much as I needed her in my life, I knew that she needed other things as well. I was no Edward - not by a long shot.

I knew that our time would come eventually, but for now I would have to live with our stolen moments and our secret romance.

It didn't feel wrong to me, and I was tired of missing her.

"Fuck it," I muttered, slamming my fist down on the seat. The vinyl seat groaned in protest as I turned the key and made the Bronco roar to life. I peeled out of the parking lot behind the library and made my way over to the school. I only waited for a few minutes before the last bell rang and the students began pouring out. They were bundled up in the chilly December air, the parking lot a sea of colorful hats and scarves.

But one student in particular stood out from the rest, at least for me.

She was drawn to me like a moth to a flame.

"Hey," she said, walking up to the side of the Bronco. I looked around, making sure no one was paying attention. It didn't matter though - the excitement of one of the last days of school before Christmas beak was in the air and I was the last thing on everyone's mind.

"What are you doing here? I told you I was sleeping over at Claire's house."

My face fell.

"Oh, you are?"

Regan paused, shrugging slightly. She brushed a lock of her dark brown hair away from her mouth, sending a breeze of her familiar sent my way. I felt myself weaken a little.

"I was. Why?"

"Do you think you could get out of it?"

Regan narrowed her eyes at me. "Seth," she said flatly, "Without getting ripped a new one?"

"Regan…"

She stomped her foot on the pavement and gave me an exasperated looked, a smile threatening to break through. She looked so cute when she pretended to be angry with me. An exasperated sigh left her mouth as she came close to laughing at her own actions.

"Sorry. Why do I need to get out of it?"

I gulped.

"I….I want to t-take you out. On a…on a date."

She opened her mouth, before snapping it shut, her green eyes wide.

"You…want to take me out?"

I stared at her, getting a little lost in her green orbs. She had a tendency to do that to me.

"You want to take her out? I think it's a brilliant idea!" Claire squeaked, bouncing up to us. She knocked shoulders with Regan, who gave her an indignant glare.

"What?" she asked.

"Nosy," I grumbled, giving Claire a mock glare. Claire returned my expression and elbowed Regan.

"Claire," Regan hissed in embarrassment. I watched her cheeks turned pink and I smiled to myself.

"You should go!" she urged.

"Claire….quiet," I laughed, shaking my head. There were people all around.

"Oh, uh…sorry," she giggled. She bumped Regan on the shoulder again, giving her a pointed look. "He wants to take you out. So go."

Regan gave her friend an apologetic look. "But we were supposed to hang out…"

Claire rolled her brown eyes. "Seriously? You have an excuse to go out and get some hot werewolf loving and you're going to pass it up? Silly girl."

Regan blushed harder and avoided my eyes. Were we that obvious?

"Go," Claire continued to harass her.

I loved Claire.

"So I take it things are better between you and Quil?"

"And you call me nosy?"

"Just asking."

Claire snorted and stuck her nose up in the air a little. "You're a gossipy little girl, Seth Clearwater. Good thing my best friend loves you - I'd have to strangle you half the time."

I sucked in a little breath at the word 'love'. Regan met my eyes briefly before glancing away. She cleared her throat a little, nudging her.

"I can't go home though. How would it look if I went home and got something besides my pajamas?"

Claire got a mischievous gleam in her eyes as she leaned against my Bronco. "Well, that depends. Where are you two going on this little outing?"

I bit my lip and tried to not let my nerves get the best of me. I wanted to look suave and sophisticated; I wanted this to be a special night for us.

"I wasn't sure, um….maybe Lake Crescent Lodge? Or….or maybe Bella Italia?"

"Oh! Yes, yes, go there. Very romantic," she replied, giving Regan another nudge.

"Stop it, my arm is going to be purple," Regan hissed at her. She turned her attention back to me and nodded. "That sounds fine."

"It's pretty dressy," I admitted, looking over at Regan - whose cheeks were now bright pink.

"It's okay then, we don't have to go there, I don't want to be any troub-"

"No! Seth, take her there. It's perfect," Claire interjected, reaching into the Bronco to give my elbow a shove.

"Okay! Okay…Regs, we can go there. I don't mind getting dressed up. In fact, I'd kinda like it."

I watched Regan's green eyes light up slightly at the idea. I knew I had hit the money.

"We're going there. I'll call and get some reservations. Claire can you…."

"I have the perfect dress."

"Dress?" Regan squeaked. Claire gave her a knowing nod.

"Regan….just go."

"But what about your parents? Won't they notice I'm going out with the town cop?" she hissed at her.

Claire rolled her eyes. "They're attending a benefit for the new community center up in Makah. Trust me, they won't be home to notice you're gone."

"But won't you be alone?" Regan worried.

Claire snorted. "Please…you think you're the only girl in town with a werewolf to keep her company? Think again, Regs."

Regan blushed again before looking over at me. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I laughed. I reached out the window, touching her shoulder. "I want to do this. For you. For….us," I finished awkwardly. Regan smiled, her nervousness already showing.

Claire rolled her eyes and walked a few steps away, giving us some privacy. I shook my head at her, turning my attention back to Regan.

"Is this okay? Me, taking you out?"

Her grin was my answer. I looked around at all the kids fleeing from the school, wishing we were alone.

I wanted to kiss her.

"You don't have to do this you know."

"Are you trying to talk me out of this?"

"No, but…."

"Then stop," I grinned. "Let me take you out on a date."

"You're sure?"

"Regs…" I began, "I refuse to believe that there's anything wrong with me wanting to take a pretty girl out on a date."

She blushed again.

"So we're really going on a date? Together?"

"If you want."

"Yes!"

I sighed a little, relief washing over me.

I had a date.

And I didn't feel an ounce bad about that.

After saying a quick goodbye, I sped home didn't feel an ounce bad about that either.

Cops were allowed to break the law every once I awhile, right?

I bounded into the Cullen house, barely wincing as my nostrils burned. Being around vampires took some getting used to, but I was actually happy to have my house inhabited again.

Even if they were vampires.

"Don't flatter yourself. My stink it better than eau de dog."

I grinned as I walked into the living room, grasping Edward's palm in a firm shake. He smirked at me out of the corner of his mouth as I sat down beside him.

"Where's everyone else?"

Edward smiled. "Carlisle is in Seattle trying to get some more supplies, Jazz and Emmett went hunting, and the girls are upstairs with Lexi. They had a little online shopping spree a few nights ago, and everything arrived today."

"Bribing her into her newfound vampyness?" I laughed.

Edward shrugged. "Whatever helps."

"I getcha. Show her that it's not all bad."

He shrugged, putting down the book in his hands and looking at the doorway expectantly. Rosalie, Alice, Bella and Esme paraded in, proudly pulling Lexi with them.

I stood up, giving her a wide smile.

Lexi blanched, her blood red newborn eyes going wide. She was in a defensive crouch before I could even blink, a warning hiss escaping her lips.

"Whoa," I gasped, holding up my hands. Edward jumped up to place himself between us, and everyone froze.

"Lexi….Seth won't hurt you," Bella calmly explained, carefully touching her arm.

Lexi's narrowed eyes relaxed, and she straightened her form. Her pale face was blank for a moment before she held her hands over her mouth.

"Oh God! Seth! I'm sorry," She cried, her red eyes wide. She dropped her hands to her side, frowning to herself. Her movements were quick and jerky, and very un-human. It unnerved me a little to see my friend look so….well, like a vampire.

"It's okay," I reassured her, sitting back down.

"I'm horrible at this," she wailed, turning to Rosalie. My eyes widened a little as the blonde vampire took the newborn into her arms, hugging her tightly. Ever since she had been turned, Rosalie had strangely adopted the newborn vampire and treated her like a little sister. I thought it was strange at first, but I realized that she had more in common with Lexi than anyone else. Both of them had gotten their lives ripped away from them before they had even gotten a chance to start living.

"It's okay. Everyone hates the smell of dog," Rosalie replied, giving me a playful wink over Lexi's shoulder.

"But it's good that he doesn't smell like food, right?" Esme pointed out. Lexi sniffed a little, turning around to frown at me.

"No…." she wrinkled her nose. "No," she laughed again, shaking her head.

Everyone in the room visibly relaxed, chuckling at her answer. I sighed, jamming my hands in my pockets.

"So um…sorry I don't smell…appetizing?"

Lexi gave me a bright smile, shrugging. "No…sorry Seth. You really don't. You don't smell a thing like that UPS man…" she trailed off, a distance look in her blood-red eyes. I tried not to wince as I thought about the Cullens holding Lexi down as the UPS man had come to the house that morning. He had a brush with death and didn't even know it, I thought.

"Um, maybe we should go for a hunt?" Esme suggested quickly. I winced, turning away.

"Maybe we should," Lexi said sadly.

"We'll work on not ruining clothes this time," Rosalie said, taking her hand. Bella followed behind, nudging an anxious looking Lexi with her. Esme excused herself to go upstairs, and I turned to Alice.

"So where is Regan going tonight? I saw her trying on a black dress?"

I laughed, shaking my head at Alice. "I thought you couldn't see her!"

Alice shrugged, giving me a small wink. "I can see her if your wolfy butt isn't around. Is there an occasion tonight?"

Edward smirked again.

He smirks a lot.

He looked away to keep from laughing.

"No silent conversations!" Alice trilled. Edward chuckled, and I grabbed the back of my neck nervously.

"I um….I'm taking Regan out on a date."

Her eyes widened a little before nodding in approval. "Special occasion?"

"No….just wanted to….I dunno, give her the whole boyfriend experience. That sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"Why would it?" she asked, following me out of the living room. I paused in the kitchen, opening the refrigerator door.

"I don't know. Because I'm some old guy taking this high school girl out on a date?"

She gave me a flippant glare and leaned on the counter. Edward took a place at one of the barstools, and both of them gazed at me expectantly with their matching golden eyes.

"That isn't weird?"

"No, I don't think so. I mean….you're really only in your early twenties. You've been alive for twenty eight years, but don't you still feel like you're…."

"Nineteen? Twenty? Yeah," I admitted. "I mean, my mind has aged, but nothing else has. It's weird. I still feel like I'm a teenager on the inside."

"We of all people would be able to tell you," Edward began, giving his sister a small smile, "that age is just a number. "

"Exactly. It's how you feel that matters."

I laughed, pulling out some leftover frozen pizza. "I guess you would know. Aren't you a century older than your wife?"

Edward gave me another chuckle. "Who's keeping track?"

"Not me," I told him.

"So…I hate to be a bother, but…can I dress you? Oh! First, where are you going? I can't see…" she trailed off, frowning.

"We're going to Port Angeles. Hopefully….to avoid people we might know. We're going to Bella Italia."

Edward snorted as the two of them followed me up to my room. "I took Bella there once. When she was human," he added. Alice darted in front of us, already plotting.

"Since she'll be wearing black, you should definitely compliment. Maybe a navy blue shirt? That would look nice with your skin tone…"

Edward laughed. "She hates to predictable, but…at the end of that day, she is still Alice," he replied when I rolled my eyes at her.

I went upstairs and showered, dressing in the navy blue dress shirt and black jacket Alice had laid out for me. I was unsure of the colors when I picked it up, but a glance in the mirror assured me of any insecurities.

I looked damn good.

I had shaved, which always made me look a little younger. My hair was a little shaggier, and that helped too. I looked a little more like a teen who had forgotten to get a haircut, even with his mother's nagging.

"You look fine. Regan will love it," Alice assured me as I grabbed my keys. I looked up at her hopefully, my mouth dropping open a bit.

"You can see that? You can really tell?"

She paused, shooting Edward a hurt look. "Well, no….I can't see see it. But…I mean what girl wouldn't love you Seth?"

My face fell.

I should have known what she meant.

I was stupid for getting my hopes up.

When one of your friends was like a magic eight ball, it was hard at times to remember you made her talent go black.

I wanted more than anything for her to be able to see my future with Regan.

"You know she can't," Edward said softly. I nodded, swallowing back the lump in my throat.

"Seth…" Alice said softly, floating over to my side. "I'd do anything to help you and Regan, you know that - right?"

"Of course. Yeah, I….I know Alice. I just…forget that it doesn't work with me sometimes. That's all."

She nodded, and I thanked them both for their generosity.

Vampires or not, they were some of the people that had always been there for me, no matter what.

Thank you for that, I called mentally as I walked out the door. I drove into Forks, stopping by the ATM to pick up some cash for the evening. As luck would have it, I glanced down at my bank receipt and nearly choked.

I counted the zeroes again, just to make sure I was seeing straight.

Indeed I was.

It turned out I had a lot more money than I thought I did.

I looked up in shock, doing some mental math.

Had Edward somehow deposited a lump of money into it?

No….it was mine.

Living on frozen pizza, not paying rent, driving the Bronco and basically living like a monk had it upside.

I was loaded.

With a little excited yip I was off to Claire's house to pick up Regan.

Tonight would be interesting.

Tonight, I wanted to give Regan the whole boyfriend experience. We had enough longing glances, sneaking around, and hiding to last us a lifetime. For at least one night, she would know what it was like to have me all to herself and not have to worry about someone catching us.

I wanted to show her what it was like to date Seth Clearwater.

It was two weeks before Christmas. Lexi had been a vampire for over a week now, and I still hadn't told Regan about her friend. I knew it wouldn't go well. I also needed to tell her why I phased; that she didn't live in the world she thought she did. I needed to tell her what did this to me, and what was out there.

I needed to tell her she was my imprint.

I didn't know how she would react to any of this information. I always thought I could predict how she would handle things, but Regan always surprised me. Somehow I knew that me telling her this wouldn't be any different.

Call me selfish, but I wanted one beautiful night with her before it all came crashing down.

Claire opened the door as I pulled up. I saw her motion behind her, and then Regan stepped out onto the porch. I sighed a little as I saw her. She had never looked so….adult.

Her hair was smooth and silky, the sides around her face in loose curls. She wore a little more makeup than usual, but it was still flattering. The black dress she wore was simple and made of a satin-like material, and clung to her small yet curvy body perfectly. I glanced at her feet as I stepped out of the Bronco.

Fuck me.

I needed to properly thank Claire.

My imprint was wearing 'fuck me' heels.

I had heard my sister refer to her tall, simple black pumps as her 'fuck me' heels once. Thinking the idea and name was ludicrous, I had written it off years ago.

Now….I really liked the idea.

She carefully navigated her way down the sidewalk, avoiding bits of ice and snow. Forks wasn't really the place for such shoes, but Regan didn't seem to care.

Claire whistled from the porch, giving her a pointed look. "You have until eleven. The benefit gets over then. They might go out for a drink after that, but I can't be too sure."

Regan nodded, barely paying attention to Claire as she walked over to me. She slipped her hand effortlessly into mine.

"I'm like Cinderella tonight apparently."

I glanced down at our interlocked hands, grinning like a jackass. She smiled up at my shyly, and I squeezed her palm against mine. She shivered in the icy wind, pulling her coat tighter around her body.

"I promise I won't turn back into a dog."

Her blush turned pinker. "We can always hope the Bronco will turn into the pumpkin though, right?"

"Hey now," I laughed, opening the door for her. Regan gave me a surprised look before climbing in.

"Um, thanks," she said before I shut the door. I ran around to the other side, giving Claire a wave as she watched from the front door.

"Hasn't anyone opened your door before?"

Regan grinned to herself, playing with the clasp on her tiny purse.

"Not a guy," she replied, biting her lip. I nodded, turning my attention to the road. We drove in comfortable silence, chatting here or there about Forks, the upcoming Christmas holiday, and even my mom and Charlie. It was nice to hear Regan talk about my mom and step dad as reverently as she did. I could tell she really loved them, and them her. A year and a half ago, I wouldn't have been so sure. I was just glad she was finally happy in Forks and didn't look like she wanted to hightail it out of here.

The water from the recent icy rain splashed up along the road as I pulled into the restaurant parking lot. The place was busy, but being one of the only decent eateries in Port Angeles, I expected that on a Friday night.

"Normally, I'd drop you off at the door so you didn't have to walk. But…it's icy, and I'll make sure you don't fall."

"I don't mind. That means I get to hold your hand," she said shyly, giving me another tiny grin.

I looked over at her and returned the small smile. We weren't normally this lovey-dovey with each other. I think it was the mood for the night though, and I didn't mind. I wanted to openly show her affection. Call my crazy, but I also wanted to show her that there was more to me than the bottomless stomach that showed up at his mother's house for dinner five times a week.

There was romantic side to me, and I hoped she would see it tonight.

I hopped out and ran around to the other side of the truck again to open the door for her. As promised, her warm hand slipped into mine. Our fingers molded together effortlessly, giving me a slight tightness in my chest.

She belonged with me.

I helped her navigate through the icy parking lot in her fancy 'fuck me' heels, and I felt myself relax. Being with Regan made me forget everything else that was on my mind and had been hanging over my head for days.

Lexi. Brady. The imprint. Seattle. College. Vampires.

You know…normal stuff.

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts as we walked inside, instantly greeted with the smell of irresistibly garlicky Italian food. My stomach rumbled as we walked up to the host. I couldn't wait to eat, yet….I really couldn't wait to see what Regan looked like without her black pea coat.

"It looks really busy," she said, glancing at me worriedly.

"It's fine," I insisted, watching as the host I'd spoken with on the phone earlier scurry off.

"Are you sure? What if we have a long wait? I don't want to be late getting back…"

"Regan," I interjected, "We have four hours. I think we'll be able to get a nice dinner in."

She worriedly glanced around, biting her lip. "What if we see someone we know?"

I shrugged. "You're eighteen. I'm twenty…." I trailed off, giving her a casual shrug, "twenty something. This isn't illegal."

She nodded, giving a tiny shrug as she pinned her shoulders back and lifted up her chin. "We're not doing anything wrong,' she said to herself. I smirked as we followed the host to a small table in the back of the dining area. It was a bit more secluded, giving us some privacy. The lights of the small town shone against the water of the bay, giving us a nice view of the scenery. It was still Port Angeles, but it was enjoyable.

Regan shrugged out of her coat, looking around a little bashfully.

"May I?" the host asked, giving her a once over with his prying eyes. I felt a little annoyed as I watched him reach for her coat as she slid it down her bare shoulders.

"I think I've got this. Thanks," I said through clenched teeth. I slipped him his promised fifty dollar bill, and he again scurried off.

Regan didn't seem to notice. Instead, she sat down and looked around worriedly.

I reached across the table, a little sad that I couldn't sit right by her, and squeezed her hand. "Relax. You look worried. Enjoy this, okay?"

She nodded, looking down at her menu. I saw her eyes light up at the selection.

"Everything looks so good! I don't know what to get. Your mom took me here once for lunch when we were here shopping, but…"

"But?" I asked.

"The lunch menu is different, and….we didn't have this table," she laughed lightly.

I smirked to myself and gazed at the menu with a watering mouth. "Well, you'll probably get to sample a few things. I'm most likely going to order two entrees."

"You're like a goat."

"Shut up!"

"Are you angry because it's true?"

"A little."

"I was right."

"Baaaaa!" I said, mimicking a goat. I pretended to study my menu as she laughed at me. Regan constantly teased me that I would eat anything, much like a goat would. Tonight was no different.

"So….did you always have a big appetite? Or is that…a wolf thing?" she whispered with bright eyes. I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head.

"I eat like an animal because I am one," I joked. "No, I was always a scrawny kid and people could never figure out where I put all my food. I've always eaten like it's going out of style. Still do."

"I know," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Hey now!"

"You were a cute kid."

"I was? How do you know?"

"Your mom showed me pictures. There's a picture of you outside my bedroom in the hallway Seth!"

I grinned to myself, shaking my head as I skimmed the menu.

"Well you were adorable, or at least I thought so."

"Right. I was usually toothless from getting all my baby teeth punch out by Leah, and I had this black, scraggly hair….ulgh. I bet you were cuter than me."

"The cutest," she agreed saucily, taking a sip of her water that was already on the table.

I paused, debating whether or not my next question would come across creep-tastic or not.

"Could I….see a picture of you? As a kid, I mean?"

She nodded. I watched the way her shoulders moved as she shrugged them, the pale skin gleaming slightly. She must have some sort of shimmer powder on them, I thought. I'd seen Leah and Emily apply stuff like that before dances back when they were in high school. I licked my lips without thinking.

"Of course," she replied, using her straw to twirl the ice in her glass. "I didn't take many from home, but…."

Her voice trailed off, her gaze shifting away from mine. The waiter came up and introduced himself and took our drink and appetizer orders, but I barely noticed.

"Do you…ever think about going back?"

Regan sat back in her hair, her expression blank. "Not….really."

I debated my next question, but my curiosity won out.

"Do you miss your mom?"

"She's my mother."

"Right."

I watched her take a drink and swallow, clearly thinking about something.

"I mean….I guess I do. No matter what your parent has done to you, aren't you genetically programmed to miss them at some point? I miss her, yeah. But...only on a deep, subconscious level. I don't think about her on the surface anymore. The day to day stuff….she…she never comes to mind anymore. But deep down…I'll always miss her."

I stayed quiet, wanting her to say more. I had always been rather curious about Regan's mother, but it seemed like a sore subject. I had avoided bringing it up out of respect for her.

"But how can I really yearn to have someone in my life that just…gave up on me?"

"Good point I guess. Are you angry with her?"

She bit her lip and shrugged. "At one point she thought she wanted to be a housewife with a cute little daughter and the perfect house. I mean…I think she just out-grew that notion. My dad left, I grew up, and she downsized to an apartment. I think she just got sick of it all. I guess I just never planned on her changing her mind about me."

"That's terrible," I admitted, shaking my head. "How can you get tired of a child?"

"I wasn't though. I mean, I was sixteen when I left Phoenix. I wasn't exactly a cute little kid anymore. I guess I was kind of like the puppy people get in the spur of the moment…you know? And then it grows up into a dog and they get tired of it. I think I was the dog in the equation."

For once in my life, I didn't know what to say. She didn't seem that upset to be talking so candidly about her mother.

"I called her. Did you know that?"

I shook my head.

"Oh….I wondered if you saw a weird number on my phone bill and thought anything of it."

I remembered that I was still paying for the cell phone I had gotten her last Christmas. Honestly, I paid the bill every month and never even glanced at it. She could call China every evening for three hours if she wanted and I never would have said a thing.

"No. I'd never do that."

She sighed a little, nodding. "Well, I called her on my birthday. My eighteenth."

"What did she say?"

Regan looked up at me, her eyes a little sad. "She asked why I was calling."

My heart fell.

"She didn't remember….?"

Regan shook her head. "Nope."

I was quiet a moment, grateful that we were somewhat isolated from the rest of the restaurant.

"It's okay to be upset you know."

Regan laughed a little, taking another sip of her water. "If anything, it gave me some peace of mind."

"Meaning?"

"I don't know. Maybe I was never meant to live with her for the rest of my life. Maybe I was….maybe I was meant to come here and live with Sue and Charlie, you know? Maybe that's the reason she's been such a jerk. I wasn't meant to be there - I was meant to be here."

"You have no idea," I muttered.

"Anyway…I'm done worrying about it. She doesn't' miss me, so I won't miss her. I'm convinced that….that maybe fate brought me to Forks, you know?"

"Um…yeah," I agreed, sitting up a little straighter. It was now or never, and I seriously needed to grow a pair.

"Regan, there's…there's something I need to tell you."

Her eyebrow rose skeptically. "More?"

I nodded, giving a nervous giggle that ended up sounding really stupid. "Um…er, yeah. Just a little. This isn't….this isn't as bad as the last thing.'

"The last thing being the giant dog thing?"

"Yeah. That's the one."

"Okay, just checking."

I glanced across the table at her, and she looked skeptical. Regan always looked a little skeptical.

"This isn't anything….um…scary," I promised. "I don't turn into anything else, I swear."

"Good…I think?"

I gulped a little, trying to calm my nerves. Did I go into a winding speech? Or just blurt it out?

"You see, Regan….there's something else that goes along with the whole…wolf thing."

She was quiet, her eyes widening a little.

"You mean there's something else?"

"No no! I mean, well, yeah, but….it's good. I think. I mean I think it's good, you might not…erm…uh…think it's so good, but…"

I was babbling.

"You see, when…we….wolves….um….well you know how, some people say they believe in love at first….erm…not to say love love, but….just like…"

The words just kept tumbling out of my mouth, one after the other. Each one made me look and feel stupider than the last. I sounded like a drunk, bumbling idiot. I could feel myself cringing as I continued to epically fail at what should be a romantic speech.

I should have been declaring my undying love for her over a romantic meal.

Instead, I was stumbling over my words like a fool, making this ten times more complicated than it needed to be, and the girl I almost slept with last year was standing in front of our table.

Wait…

I looked up, barely able to tear my gaze away from my imprint.

There in front of me stood the poor girl I had attempted to take out on a date last year. I could barely remember her face, much less her name. She looked at me expectantly with her eyebrows raised, as if she expected me to say something.

Fuck.


	43. Chapter 43

Seth

"Seth?"

My jaw dropped open slightly as she said my name. An awkward silence settled across the table and my heart practically stopped.

What was this girl's name?

I thought frantically, looking between her and Regan, trying to think of something, anything to say.

Nothing came.

"It's Lisa. LJ? Remember?" she asked indignantly, stomping her foot slightly.

I gulped, looking over at a horrorstruck Regan.

"Yeah, I….um….Hi."

"Hi," she replied back. "How are you?"

"I'm good….you're ah…back in town?"

"Final presentation on the building tomorrow morning. Just in town for the weekend, actually."

"Right, you're an architect," I blurted out before thinking.

She gave me an annoyed 'duh' look. "Um, yes. Which I said several times during our date last year. And then you never called me."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, not believing my bad luck. Obviously, this was sign that tonight was indeed not the night to tell Regan everything. I really did have the worst karma around for someone who had been happy most of my life.

"Yeah, I…."

"No need," she said quickly, her voice flat. Her eyes shifted to Regan, who sat in her chair like a statue. Her eyes locked with LJ's, the two of them exchanging a look.

"That's my fault," she replied, sitting up a little straighter. She plopped her hand down on top of mine and quirked an eyebrow as if to challenge LJ.

Damn.

That was hot.

I felt my skin start to sizzle where her hand touched mine, and I felt myself harden in my pants. Fuck me if that wasn't the hottest thing she had done to date.

My imprint had just turned the tables and claimed me.

Well then.

Regan stared the girl down with a piercing, self assured stare.

She looked….grownup.

"Well, I really should get going…it was…nice to see you again," LJ squeaked out, uncomfortably tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She scurried out of sight and I exhaled sharply. Regan yanked her hand away from mine and I felt my heart drop.

"Do you remember…that day….that I got weird and cried in the meadow?"

I looked over at her, nodding. I knew where this was going.

"She was who I got upset over, wasn't she?"

I nodded again, averting my eyes. Fuck. I didn't want stupid whats-her-name to ruin our night. My date with her had been an insignificant nothing. Now it was ruining my night almost an entire year later.

"Did you sleep with her?"

My head jerked up and I looked at her with bulging eyes.

"No! Of course no, no. Why would you think that?"

Regan shrugged, her eyes shifting away from me. I felt like an ass.

"Regan," I began, pleading. "She meant nothing. I….do you want the truth?"

"Please…for once. Yes, I do."

I cringed, twisting my napkin in my lap. This was not how I wanted things to go tonight. This was supposed to be the picture perfect date. Now here I was, fucking it up.

"I took her out because….well….because I was lonely. I felt like that's what I should do. You were right - I didn't date. I still don't…erm….minus tonight."

"You were lonely?"

"Definitely. I was trying to give you some normalcy and space, and….whoever I'm not around you I just…miss you. Ulgh, I sound like a clingy….jackass or something, but…it's true. I was just bored and lonely."

She blushed slightly, but her jaw remained set. She was not happy with me.

"So tonight is really a date then?"

"It is if you wanted it to be. Is that weird?"

She shook her head, her wavy hair swinging slightly.

"No, it's not weird. It probably should be, but…you feel like the most normal thing in the world to me Seth. You always have. Maybe that's why…"

She trailed off, leaving a pregnant pause. The waiter came and refilled our drinks and took our orders. Regan listened with wide eyes as I placed my rather large one, but said nothing when he walked away.

"Just you know….in case you wanted to sample everything they had on the menu," I joked about the two entrees and three appetizers I had ordered. "What were you going to say?"

"Just that….you feel natural to me. It scares me a little. But I've always felt like…like I know you. Is that dumb? Like that…we just click, I mean as friends and….other ways. I know you, but I felt like I always have. In another life maybe we were together."

She stopped, laughing at herself. "I sound…..drunk or something."

"No, you're just being honest. While we're on the subject of honesty though, please don't be upset over LJ. Embry and I met her randomly at a bar last year, and she was nice and I was lonely. If anything, she was a dinner companion. Nothing happened, and it…."

I stopped before saying could have but I knew Regan understood.

"Right," she agreed. "I get it. I couldn't expect you to spend every Saturday night on the couch with Charlie watching re-runs and ESPN highlights."

"It's not that," I promised. "Not at all. The sad thing is, if I could have I would've."

Regan smirked to herself, taking a sip of her water. The couple at the table closest to us got up and left, leaving us a bit more privacy. I was glad.

"So….are you glad you came? Minus the awkwardness of meeting one of my ex-dates?"

She nodded. "Of course. I mean, I felt bad lying to Charlie and your mom, but….it was worth it, actually."

I smiled at her, glad that we had some privacy. Reaching under the table, my hand found hers and gave it a squeeze. She held onto it, and we exchanged a shy smile.

We made small talk all while still holding hands. It felt wonderful to be able to do something so normal with her. It was true; legally I could date her. However, it still would have looked weird. I pictured the looks on people's faces if I were to walk into Prom with her. I just didn't think it would go well. And I was well aware that Regan was eighteen and could technically do whatever she wanted to. Then again, I knew she loved Charlie and my mom enough to not do something that would upset them that badly. Regan was grateful to live with my mom and step dad, whether she voiced that often or not.

Our food arrived and we dug in. Everything was delicious and perfect, just as I had hoped. We talked and laughed throughout dinner and had a really good time. She was right - it felt natural.

"Is it bad that I don't want this to ever end?" she asked once we were finished. Her hand sought out mine this time. She wove our fingers together under the table with a sigh.

"No. We can….I mean, if you want to we can always do it again."

She shrugged, looking a little upset.

"What did I say?" I asked, squeezing her hand. "Do you not want to?"

"I do, but….I just hate lying about it. Sneaking around…I mean, sometimes it's kinda hot, but…." she blushed.

"I know. I'm sorry you had to lie to come here with me tonight."

"It's okay. Just this one time couldn't hurt, right?"

I agreed with her. I paid the bill with satisfaction knowing that my date with my imprint had just been the single greatest date of my life. As we walked out of the restaurant, I grabbed her hand and hoped that there would be many more nights like this to come.

"I don't want this night to end either," I admitted, lacing my fingers with hers. I could feel her heart rate increase through the soft skin of her palm and I smiled to myself. I secretly hoped I could always make her heart beat faster.

I opened the door for her, making sure she was inside before rushing around to join her inside. I slammed the door shut, wishing I had a nicer car to drive her around in. But, judging by the faint smile on her face, I guess she didn't much care.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked, putting the key in the ignition.

"Nothing, I just….a…date, with Seth Clearwater is everything I hoped it would be."

I grinned, looking at her happily. "Really?"

She nodded. I leaned over, giving her a tentative kiss on the lips. She responded immediately, deepening it quickly. Her tongue licked at my top lip, seeking entrance. I gave it to her willingly.

We broke apart, completely breathless.

"Can we go somewhere?" She asked timidly, her green eyes sparkling.

I paused in shock, my mouth dropping open slightly. "G-go, somewhere?" I stuttered.

Her gaze turned….lusty.

I felt something in my pants twitch.

"Erm…..Uh…y-you want to…go somewhere else?"

She nodded, her eyes growing hooded. I sucked in a deep breath. "Like…you want me to t-take you home?"

She giggled to herself, shaking her head of curls. "You snuck me out of the house to take me home at nine o'clock? I'm a reformed bad girl Seth, but….come on. Be a little bad with me…just once?"

"I…where do you want to go?"

She shrugged. "Somewhere….not in the parking lot?"

I nodded, putting the truck into gear. My hands shook a little as I backed up. I sped faster than I should through the main road of Port Angeles, racking my brain of places we could go. Then, I thought of it. There was a tiny overlook by the pier, and I remember it was poorly lit. Perfect.

I looked over at her as I drove, feeling more sure of myself as I watched her excited eyes dance in the dim light of my stereo. She was obviously happy, I was ecstatic, and I knew I needed to stop worrying.

Fuck it, I thought. Tonight, we're just going to be us. I'm going to be Seth, and she'll be Regan, and we can just forget everything else and just be us.

Yeah.

I put the Bronco in park, killing the engine except for the stereo. She reached up, fiddling with the dials for a few seconds. Soon, a softer song filled the warm air of the car.

"Perfect," she said softly. I looked over at her, admiring the way she looked so grown up. The little black dress was something out of my deepest, darkest fantasies, and I briefly wondered if Claire would let her keep it. No offense to Claire, but….it looked better on Regan.

She looked over at me, her eyes expectant. "Aren't you going to kiss me?"

My face broke out into a grin. My jackass grin. But I didn't care, and neither did she.

I had a hard time in fact, not smiling as our lips collided, molding together effortlessly. We kissed softly for a few seconds before ditching the 'we're only here to make out' charade. The second her lips touched mine I knew we weren't there to only make out.

Need coursed through my veins.

A short, high pitched moan escaped her throat as I bent to kiss it. I dragged my lips across her throbbing pulse, my tongue darting out to taste her. She sighed as my hand caressed the other side.

I didn't know when I could have her like this again.

I needed to cherish it.

Regan placed her hands on my chest, her small fingers yanking at my tie. She managed to loosen it and quickly made work on the buttons of my white shirt. I groaned as her cool fingers touched the hot skin of my chest.

My skin sizzled with need.

"Seth," she breathed, her voice just barely a whisper. I mumbled something into her neck before lightly kissing her ear. A shiver of pleasure rolled through her, and I smiled as I realized she still enjoyed that.

"What are you….smiling about?" she panted before our lips crashed together again. I lightly bit her bottom lip, pulling at the soft skin. She responded by kissing me harder, forcing her tongue past my lips.

"Just….think it's cute that…you like your ears…." I laughed between kisses. We were both panting by now, practically starving for each other.

"Mmm…I do," she half laughed, half moaned. Our hands were roaming all over each other now, much to my delight.

"Just like that time….at your house. Do you remember?"

I chuckled as I ran my hand down her body, sliding it back to palm her backside. She undid a few more buttons of my shirt, pushing my jacket down over my shoulders.

"Remember?" I barked a laugh, "I think about it every day."

"Do you really?" she asked, pulling away slightly. I leaned forward, closing the new distance between us.

"Of course. It's….that night was the hottest….best…" I trailed off, my words broken with kisses.

"Uh huh," she panted, finishing the last button on my shirt. She pushed it off my shoulders so that it could join my jacket. I looked around, finally opening my eyes. Regan kicked off her shoes, yanked her headband out of her hair, and caught my gaze.

"What?"

I smiled, leaning back against the window of the Bronco. "You. You're just….so beautiful."

She rolled her eyes at me.

"What?"

"That line again?"

I snorted at my imprint's sassy nature. No matter - I loved her for her sarcastic, witty side.

She crawled forward, and I shifted so that my back was against the seat again. I silently blessed the Bronco for having one long, flat front seat instead of two as she moved even closer. Leaning forward, she kissed me again - short and sweet.

"You think I'm pretty?"

I nodded, my eyes wide.

She smiled saucily, her eyes dropping to the bulge in my pants. "I believe you," she quipped, giving me a flirty grin.

I shook my head in mock disgust at her, my cheeks turning slightly pink as she glanced at my arousal again. There was a short pause in our movements as our eyes met. I could hear her heart pounding in her chest, egging me on. Like a bolt of lightning we were at it again. Her hands yanked at my undershirt pulling it up over my head as I reached for the zipper on her dress. Yanking it down, I saw that she had on a black, strapless bra. Her pale skin glowed behind it in the moonlight, and I didn't think she had ever looked so beautiful.

Regan shimmied (rather awkwardly) out of the dress, leaving her in just a pair of pink underpants and the bra.

"Take your pants off!" she giggled.

"What's the hurry?" I laughed, quickly obeying.

"If I'm in my underwear then you have to be," she half whispered, half giggled. I shook my head and laughed again, practically yanking them off.

"Boxer briefs, huh?" she asked, looking up at me. I nodded, suddenly shy. I let my eyes fall to the pink underwear covering the place I most wanted to be. It felt a little pervy to admit, but suddenly that was all I could think about. My groin ached with need to the point that it was almost uncomfortable. Her eyes dropped to my arousal once again, and I couldn't fight the pull. With one hand, I reached over to grab her thigh. Her weight shifted naturally as I pulled her closer to me. She settled in my lap and we both let out a breath of relief. Our arms went around each other, molding our bodies together as tightly as we could.

"You feel so good," I breathed in her hair. She smiled against my neck, placing a soft kiss there. I shivered slightly, pulling back to look at her. I brushed a piece of hair out of her brilliant green eyes and studied her features.

"You feel good too," she admitted, giving me another shy smile. I chuckled, brushing more hair away from her face.

"I…I missed being with you…like this," she said slowly. "Is that bad?"

I watched her for a second before shaking my head. "No. Of course not. I missed it too."

"Seth….someday we won't have to hide this…right?"

I paused.

"Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "Seeing that girl…in there. It just…made me wish things were different."

"Why? I told you…I didn't want her. I never did."

"I believe you," she said quickly. "It just made me wish I was her."

I snorted, letting my hands fall down to rest on her thighs. "Why would you? She doesn't hold a candle to you. No one does."

Regan gave me a small smile. "I wish….that I could go out with you anytime I wanted. We could go places, hold hands, and….and not have to worry if people see us. You're a cop. You can't date a high school student."

"I don't care because it's you. I'm not ashamed of you. I'm just worried that people will think I'm dating jailbait."

"I'm eighteen," she pointed out. "But….I see what you mean. People wouldn't exactly take it well if you showed up at school and…." she shook her head, laughing at herself. "I can't exactly ask you to prom, can I?"

I shook my head. "No. But….I'd take you if I could. You know that, right?"

She nodded. "Of course I do. No, I know that."

"Good," I whispered, reaching a hand behind her neck. I gently pulled her forward, joining her lips with mine. I sucked on her bottom one, savoring the taste of her. She let a high pitched moan slip, and I felt myself grow harder. Regan sighed, grinding her hips against me.

Sweet Jesus.

I exhaled sharply, breaking our kiss. My hands automatically went to her hips and pulled her closer.

Tighter.

Harder.

Two thin layers of fabric separated our bodies. That became very clear as we grinded against each other, my cock practically screaming at me. I growled deep in my chest, letting the vibrations rumble against her body. She shivered slightly, pressing herself even closer to me as her mouth attacked mine. Her hands were everywhere; my hair, my ears, my chest….Each time they scraped me I practically danced with delight on the inside.

Fuck if she wasn't the most wonderfully feeling thing on the planet.

I reached behind her back, unsnapping her bra with a quick flick of my fingers. She squeaked in surprise, pressing her chest against mine. I hissed a little as she sighed into my ear.

"I want this," I whispered to her, my hands falling to rest on her hips. My fingers played with the elastic on the top of her underwear, nervously pulling at the fabric. I knew we were parked somewhere off the beaten path, but I still felt like I was a high school kid in the back seat of his mother's car.

There was a possibility that we could get caught, and that should have made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Well, it did, but….I also liked it.

Regan lunged at me, crashing her lips against mine. She moved her hips against me and I felt myself growl with need.

"It's been too long," she whispered against my mouth. I nodded, my fist clenching around her hip and making her flimsy underwear rip. I barely noticed as I tossed it on the floor of the Bronco.

She rose up off my lap, yanking my boxer briefs down. I watched her reach into her purse and pull out a foil packet.

"Claire," she said with a breathy shrug. I nodded, pulling her back into my lap. I rolled the condom on faster than I ever have in my life and pulled Regan's body against mine.

"Ready?" I asked. I felt bad for not giving her much of any foreplay, but I just needed her.

Badly.

She nodded, lowering herself onto me. Warm, delicious fire encased me and I barely heard Regan squeak with surprise. Her knees tightened against my hips as she settled fully against me. I could feel her walls stretching to accommodate my size, and I hoped I wasn't hurting her.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes were clenched shut, her hands trembling a little on my shoulders. She inhaled a raspy breath and clenched herself around me, both inside and out. I felt my heart start to pound as her hips jerked and she sucked in another breath. One hand went behind my neck while she leaned back slightly, placing her other hand on my bare knee. Then, she moved.

I could see the outline of her in the darkness and feel her hot, shallow breaths on my face as she slowly began to move against me. Tantalizingly slow at first, and then she found her rhythm.

There is something so unbelievably sexy about a woman on top of you when she finds a pace that makes her feel good.

However, I learned something new that night.

It was un-fucking-believably-sexy when it was Regan.

Hot.

Damn.

She moved on top of me, her head only inches away from the top of the Bronco. I could barely believe we were here, much less what we were doing. I let my head fall back against the seat and my jaw go slack as my imprint used my body to please hers.

Over and over she moved, making my body coil with pleasurable tension. Her quiet moan and quick intake of breath made me open my eyes. Her head was down, her hair in her face and I could see her bottom lip quiver slightly.

"Oh Seth…" she moaned again, grinding herself against me harder.

I gripped her hips and pulled her down harder, making her gasp. Her fingernails dug into my neck and shoulders, but I couldn't have cared less. I was enjoying the view too much to notice anything but her. She moved, her eyes fluttering shut as she enjoyed riding me. I couldn't help but watch as she lifted herself off of me almost entirely before slowly lowering herself back down. I sucked in a sharp breath and felt my entire body throb.

"Amazing," she breathed, leaning forward. She kissed along my jaw and somehow made my skin feel like it was melting against her lips. How a girl could feel so fucking fantastic was beyond me.

She was perfect.

Everything she did to me, everything I felt….

It was utter perfection.

It didn't matter if we were in my bed, her bed, my fucking Bronco…as long as it was us, it would always be sheer utopia in my mind.

Wrapping my arms around her middle, I pulled our bodies as close as they could get. Regan panted, a thin layer of sweat forming on her skin as she was pressed against my scorching body. But, she didn't seem to mind. In fact, I felt goose bumps on her skin as her silky walls clenched around me. She picked up her pace and thrust against me, giving me a deep, sensual kiss. My mouth welcomed hers, our tongues intermingling and tasting each other. Suddenly, she threw her head back.

"Oh!"

I felt her start to quake, and I knew my own release wasn't far off. As soon as I saw her eyes clench shut, I knew it was over. Her release was like a trigger for my own. I felt myself explode as I joined her in bliss.

I pressed my hand against her chest, just over her heart. Our hearts were beating wildly, but yet amazingly in synch.

It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

"Oh my God," I breathed, still riding the high of my post-orgasm.

She opened her eyes, but just barely.

"Right?"

She giggled, and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

"That was…."

"I know."

Regan moved off of me, still panting slightly. I reached in the backseat, handing her an old flannel shirt of mine.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, wrapping it around herself.

"You're so hot that I….I feel cold sometimes when I'm not touching you," she admitted, pulling it taught around her body.

"Why thanks," I laughed, winking at her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. I cleaned myself up and we both got re-dressed with some effort. Re-dressing in a truck is a lot harder than undressing. Once we were situated, I grinned at her before starting up the Bronco.

"I've never done that before," I admitted, letting the engine roar to life once again.

She looked at me, surprised.

"In a car, you mean?"

I shook my head.

"Well….that's one first we had together then."

I chuckled, biting my lip.

"Yeah, I guess it is. That was uh….wow."

"Agreed."

"Really?"

"Weren't you there?" she laughed. I nodded, pulling her over to sit next to me on the seat.

"Front row center," I said, kissing the top he her head.

Her phone rang, jerking us back to reality. I pulled away from our spot and onto the main road.

"Hello? Yes….what's wrong?

She was silent, and I watched her face grow slack. My ears strained to her who she was talking to.

I could see her face lose all color in the lights of the dashboard.

"What is it?" I whispered. She waved me off, her face still panic-stricken. My mind reeled; what could have upset her that much in such a short amount of time?

"I…..I….well…look, I'm sorry…."

She was quiet again and I could swear I heard Charlie's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yes, he's here," she admitted, glancing at me sideways.

My stomach lurched.

"I…I'm sorry, Charlie. Okay…bye."

She hung up the phone and gulped. I glanced at the road, then back at her.

"What is it?"

"I'm feel sick."

"Regan-"

"It's Charlie. He knows."

She lowered the phone to her lap, her hands visibly shaking. "He knows I'm with you, not with Claire…he knows I lied. He...I'm sure he's figured it out, Seth."

"What? How?"

She shook her head, and I could see her start to tear up.

"He was patrolling and he went into the Piggly Wiggly, and…and Claire was there with Quil. He asked where I was and….and the look on her face just said it all. Seth…he sounded so angry! What am I going to do? He knows I lied to go out with you!"

"It'll be okay. Everything will be okay," I repeated, more to myself than anything.

I suddenly felt sick too.

"Are you alright? He might not….he might not know we did something wrong."

Regan shook her head.

"That's the point. I had to lie because I knew I was doing something wrong. If it wasn't something that I knew would make him unhappy or question something, then I wouldn't have had to lie, would I?"

I had no response. I knew she was right. We drove the rest of the way in silence, my foot pressing harder on the gas than it probably should have. We pulled up to Charlie's street and I paused.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Just take me home," she said quietly. I could hear the fear in her voice.

"Regan, it's going to be okay."

She swallowed as I pulled into Charlie's driveway.

"Convince me of that in an hour," she mumbled, her eyes wide. I looked up at what she saw and felt myself grow hot with guilt.

Charlie flew out the front door as soon as I cut the engine. My mom was behind him, already begging him to calm down. He moved down the steps falser than I'd ever seen.

"Shit," I muttered, getting out.

Charlie stopped his eyes raking over Regan's little black dress and my suit. His dark eyes burned.

"Where were you?"

His voice was low and hard, but I could feel the hurt. Charlie knew he had been lied to.

"The truth," he prodded.

"Charlie," my mom called from the porch. We exchanged a worried look, but she said nothing.

"Port Angeles."

"Claire lives in Port Angeles now? I don't think so. You lied, Regan. Come on…..God, you've done so well, and now this. With him. Him of all people," Charlie said, gesturing to me.

I opened my mouth, but waited. I had a feeling he would want my explanation on things.

"Charlie, look, I'm sorry, I-"

"No. I don't want to hear it. You lied to me, and...I'm not sure I even want the story," he admitted, glancing at her outfit again. It was blatantly obvious that she hadn't been at a sleepover with Claire.

"Charlie-"

"Just go inside. We'll talk about this later. Just…just go," he muttered. Regan looked at me, then down at the ground. Without another word, she walked up the steps and stood beside my mother. I looked up at her, her worried gaze doing nothing to soothe my nerves.

"You," he spat, turning back to me. Crap, I had never seen Charlie look this pissed.

He walked up to me, covering the distance in two steps.

"Charlie, I can explain-"

"I already know what happened, Seth. I'm not stupid."

"Then can we talk about this? Charlie, she's-"

I was cut off when Charlie's fist connected with my jaw.

There was a defining crack in the air, but it wasn't my jaw. Charlie grunted and held his hand against his chest as I stepped back. His punch hadn't' really hurt - it had just startled me.

I knew he was pissed, but that was the last thing I had expected. I opened my eyes and gaped at him.

"Charlie," I said in disbelief.

Regan cried out but my mother quickly pulled her into the house.

"He's fine, he's fine…."

I looked back at Charlie with shock.

"She's too young," he spat, holding his broken hand against his chest. His body heaved with angry pants and his dark eyes were wilder than I knew was possible.

Without another word, he turned and made his way inside, leaving me dumbfounded on the front lawn.

I listened for a moment, trying to hear what was going on inside. Charlie's hand was definitely broken, and I could hear my mother trying to convince him to go to a doctor. Regan ran upstairs and was in the bathroom crying. I heard the shower start a few minutes later.

I drove home in shock.

Charlie had been my friend for years. He had actually punched me. I didn't know what to think.

As soon as I got home, I grabbed a beer and walked out onto the balcony off the Cullen kitchen. My guests were out hunting; I wanted talk to Edward about this eventually and get his point of view of how to fix it. However, for now I was content to just stand on the deck and stare out at the forest.

I held the cold bottle against my cheek, which was a little sore. Charlie might be old and I might be a wolf, but….the guy can still pack a punch. I winced a little at the thought of him punching me in front of Regan.

Nice way to end the perfect night, I thought sarcastically.

I was the better way through a six pack when I heart soft footfalls on the ground below.

"You can come up," I called out.

There was a soft intake of breath and a few seconds later a head of blonde hair came hurdling over the railing. She landed with a soft thump and turned to look at me.

"Sorry, I'm not good at the sneaking up thing yet," Lexi said awkwardly, shrugging. She winced at my smell, covering her nose.

"Sorry…I know," I said. "But that's the least of my worries tonight."

She turned her head and gazed at me. "What happened?"

"I had a date tonight with Regan, and….it was going great until…"

"Regan?"

I nodded, taking a sip of my beer. "Yeah."

Lexi got a far off look in her red, newborn eyes. She still looked so strange to me. Of course she was still beautiful - she always had been, but becoming a vampire had made her a knockout. Her blonde hair hung down past her shoulders, her skin was pale white and flawless, and her eyes…well, her eyes would change eventually.

"What?"

"Oh….it sounds stupid," she admitted, walking over. She stood like a statue in front of the railing, staring out into the darkness.

"No, go ahead."

"I….I'm already starting to forget. Human things," she said softly. "Rosalie told me I would, but…I never expected how fast things would go. I thought I would remember. But….already it feels like years ago. Like a fuzzy memory - like the ones you have when you're a baby? You know?"

I nodded, opening a fresh beer.

"I mean, I hadn't even thought of Regan until you said her name just now. She was one of my best friends Seth. It's just….scary."

I frowned, shaking my head at her. "No, you're fine. It'll come back, and if it doesn't then we'll help you. Regan is still the same - she'll remember you, Lexi."

"But what if I want to…." she trailed off, "I can't be around her anymore. I'm too dangerous."

"You'll work it out," I promised. Lexi didn't seem convinced, but I knew that that was the least of my troubles tonight.

"So what's the problem?"

"She um….I wanted to take her out on a date, but….Charlie kinda caught us in a lie. I felt horrible, and then he punched me when we got there after finding out. I feel like a scumbag right now."

"Oh, I see," she replied sadly, looking away.

"I don't know what to do. I hurt Charlie. I mean…I could just say 'screw it' and be with her, but…that would kill him. He's…he's been like a second dad to me. And we lied to him. We lied and then we got caught. What could be worse?"

Lexi turned her head, looking at me with her piercing red eyes.

"Are you really asking me that right now?" she asked with a shaky voice.

I clamped my mouth shut and gave her an apologetic look. "Lex, I'm so sorry. Just….I didn't mean it like that, I swear-"

"It's okay. I just…..this is tiny, Seth. Miniscule. So you can't take her to prom. Or enjoy dating her publicly for another six months. If this whole…vampire thing has taught me anything, it's to cherish what you have when you have it. You don't get a second chance most of the time. And you're only fooling yourself to think you do. So you have to wait awhile. Say until….she graduates high school. Then if you want to be together forever, then you can. Nothing is holding you back. So do what you have to for now, but just know that eventually things will work out."

I nodded. "You're smart, Lexi. Are you sure that isn't your gift? Making screw-up's feel better about their mistakes?"

She smiled, shaking her head sadly.

"No, I'm not a gifted vampire. That we know of, anyway. I'm just happy to be alive, if that's what I really am. You'll figure things out Seth."

"If I'm ever allowed to see her again. Shit, she's probably grounded until the rest of forever."

"Right. Well, maybe it will do you some good to step away for a little while. Get some perspective. I mean…I hope that's what I'm doing with my love life, or…what's left of it."

I turned, giving her a pained look. "Brady will come around, Lex. He has to."

She shrugged, looking out at the forest. "Maybe he will. But maybe he won't. Either way….I have to adjust. And I have to think - would I want to be with me were the tables turned? I can't answer that. He shouldn't have to either."

"You're cutting him too much slack."

"And you're not cutting yourself enough!"

I stopped, contemplating what she said.

"Sorry, I….I feel like I'm PMS-ing 24/7 right now. I didn't mean it."

"It's okay," I insisted. "You're allowed a mini-freakout. You're a newborn vampire, Lex."

She smiled softly. "Maybe, but you're still my friend. And you're a good guy Seth, just….give it some time. In your case, time can heal all wounds"

"Thanks Lex."

"No problem. Now….I feel like I smell like mud and moss from hunting lessons with Emmett and Rose all day. I'm gonna go shower. Don't be too hard on yourself Seth."

"Night," I called, watching her enter the house. I was left alone with Lexi's words and my own thoughts.

Was she right? Could time heal all wounds? Maybe I should step away from the situation for awhile. Get a new perspective. Let Charlie cool off. But would that upset Regan? I knew it would, but maybe it was for the best. Either way, I knew I had to make a decision.

Taking out my phone, I dialed the one person I knew would support me no matter what.

"Helloooo, baby brother."

"Hey Leah. Listen, I….Something happened, and I need to get away. Can I crash at your place for a few days? I need to leave town for awhile."


	44. Chapter 44

Regan

The old leather couch squeaked as I shifted uncomfortably on it's middle cushion. The house was quiet; the only sound was the sound of the old Shlitz clock on the mantel, ticking away. Taking a deep breath, I crossed my arms in front of my body and leaned forward to keep from being sick. Charlie sat across from me in his chair, however, today he wasn't reclining back in it and relaxing. It was forward today as he sat, his elbows on his knees and his face grim. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, his moustache almost making them disappear. Sue moved somewhere upstairs, but I was guessing I was on my own for this one.

I wished he would speak.

Get it over with already.

Every moment of silence was giving me a chance to relive the horrible moment when Charlie had actually decked Seth in the face. The awful noise his wrist had made when it connected with Seth's seemingly indestructible face made me cringe even now. Sue had convinced him to go to the hospital to get it checked out when it had turned purple and black. He went, but not without grumbling the entire way. It was all bandaged up with a bad sprain, but I think more than anything his pride was a bit damaged.

I knew Charlie, and I knew he wouldn't be proud of the fact that he hit Seth. They were friends.

He hadn't doled out my punishment just yet, and I think Sue was really torn. She hadn't said much to me yet, but I didn't blame her. How could she? Of course she wanted to side with them both, but I knew she couldn't. She loved her husband dearly, but was it more than she loved her son? I didn't like the position she was in, because I wasn't sure who I would have sided with either. I had put Sue and Charlie in yet another shitty situation, and I hadn't a clue what to do next. It wasn't right of me to sneak around and lie to be with Seth, but I didn't want to lie about it. I wasn't dumb - I knew Seth didn't want to hurt or disappoint Charlie. He was too good of a friend. But I could help but feel like it wasn't fair to have to keep me a secret.

I wanted it to be out in the open. But, guessing from the look on Charlie's face right about then, he knew everything he needed to know.

He knew enough to be pissed.

"So," he began, his uninjured hand twitching.

He looked at me expectantly, as if he was waiting for me to speak.

I stared back at him, determined not to look away. He nodded once, as if to nudge me into talking.

"What?"

Charlie heaved a sigh, frowning at the floor.

"You know why we're here, Regan. Care to explain?"

His voice was gruff and short, and it was clear he was still in no mood to be messed with. I swallowed my nerves and shifted again.

"I….don't know what to say," I admitted, looking at my feet. Charlie grumbled under his breath, showing his distaste for my lack of explanation.

"I don't think what you're doing is wise. Seth is too old for you."

I looked up quickly, my gaze turning dark. I could feel the frown settle over my features.

"I appreciate the thought Charlie, but I don't think that's up to you to decide."

He clenched his jaw but said nothing for a few moments. I could tell he was trying not to lose his cool with me.

"Listen, when Bells-"

This was too much. I felt myself explode.

"-I'm not Bella!"

My voice echoed in the quiet living room, his eyes wide with shock. My mouth hung open still, the words fresh on my tongue as my words rang in the tiny room. He was silent, gaping at me with his huge, shocked brown eyes. This man I had barely known until two years ago loved me enough to mistake me for his own daughter. While I was flattered in some foreign part of my mind, I was sick of being compared to a girl I had met all of twice. I wasn't Charlie's daughter, and he needed to stop thinking I was. I felt like I was going to be sick.

I swallowed the bile that had risen in my throat, slumping back against the couch.

"I'm not Bella, Charlie."

Silence.

He sighed, licking his lips slowly. "I realize that."

"I know…I know she left when she was young. Got married. Moved away. But….I'm not her," I said awkwardly, twisting my hands in my lap. "Stop making me her."

Charlie's lips were doing that thing were they were pressed into a thin line again, his dark eyebrows practically knit together in a frown.

"Bella….met Edward before she…before she had a chance to do much growing. She was just a kid…hell…." he trailed off, a distant look in his eye as he glanced at the mantle. Bella stood next to him at the age of five or six, wincing as she held up a tiny fish on her pink fishing pole. Charlie stood next to her in the picture, smiling proudly.

"You're not her, and I know that. But…."

"But what? Are you going to keep punishing me for her mistakes?"

"No, damn it, now listen, I'm trying to tell you something. I'm…I just….want you to learn from hers."

"She's happy Charlie, okay? I've met the girl, she's so happy it's sickening! Why wouldn't you want that for me?"

"You think…?" he gaped at me, then outside. "You think my twenty something year old coworker is the one to make you happy? Regan, you're in high school. Seth is….ahm….well he's older. Too old."

"Like I said, I don't think you're the one who gets to tell me that Charlie."

"Regan, as long as you live here I am."

I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees.

"We'll agree to disagree then."

Numb.

That's all I felt.

Just numb.

After doling out my punishment of a permanent grounding until further notice, I had escaped to my room, slamming the door before Sue could say a word. I was still waiting for her to interject, but she seemed….torn. The look in her dark eyes as I had brushed past her in the upstairs hall said it all to me.

She wouldn't be picking sides.

I had been in bed so long, staring at the walls of my weird teal-colored prison so long I had no idea what time it was when I finally sat up. Rubbing my eyes, my mind immediately went to Seth. What was he doing right now? Was he thinking about me? Or worse, was he thinking of running screaming for the hills after getting jacked in the face by Charlie? I couldn't imagine how he could justify a girl that came with that much baggage.

Our perfect time together was over in a flash, and Seth had been ripped away from me before I had even really gotten a chance to enjoy him. He was gone and had been replaced with a sickened feeling in my stomach.

The night before was burned into my mind whether I wanted it to be or not. I stood up, pacing around my room and wringing my hands together. I wanted something to keep my mind occupied, but there was nothing. The images of what had transpired were impossible to push out of my head.

Getting out of the bronco, seeing Charlie's face, Charlie's fist connecting with Seth's jaw…

It was like a bad dream.

However, some bad dreams you can't remember. This one just kept playing and replaying inside my head. It was torture.

Things had been going so well. I should have known something awful was going to happen and wake me from my string of blissful moments. Because that's all the happiness I was allowed – just moments.

I flopped down on my bed, the mattress creaking in protest. At least I had gotten one date with him.

One date with Seth.

It was almost too hard to believe that I had gotten it, but for the short while it lasted it had been perfect.

He had been dressed up for me. He had driven to pick me up. He paid for my meal. He held my hand as we walked to the car. He had whispered my name when he went tumbling over the edge in the Bronco…

I felt myself tingle at the sheer thought of it. It was a blur of sweat, steamy windows, and kissing in the dark, but it had been hot.

I smirked a little as I thought of the romance novel I could write in his honor. My trysts with Seth were easily the steamiest, smuttiest things I have ever imagined.

And damn if they weren't hot.

I sat up with a grunt, gazing out the window. The rain poured down in sheets, as usual. I was fine with the rain for once. It matched my mood as I shuffled aimlessly around my bedroom, trying to busy myself with something - anything - to stop picturing Charlie punching Seth.

After putting on some mellow music, I collapsed in my desk chair and stared out the window at the darkening sky. My hand reached for my cell phone out of habit, and I immediately felt stupid - Charlie had taken it away first thing. I didn't argue.

I heard myself sniffle, and I wiped my eyes with the mascara-covered sleeve of my hoodie. I had done nothing but cry most of the day, and I was done crying. It felt useless to cry. Besides, I didn't want to be the girl that sat alone in her room while it rained outside and cried.

I wasn't that girl.

I used to be, but I wasn't now.

My mind was made up.

I crept down the steps, trying and failing to avoid the creaky stair. It squawked in protest as my boot pressed against it and I winced. Shaking my head at myself, I moved quickly down the rest of the steps and to the coat rack. I dressed in my winter coat and gloves as it was December and freezing outside, bracing myself for the cold.

Finally, I picked up Sue's keys from the hook beside the door and grasped them firmly in my hand so that they didn't jingle.

"Going somewhere?"

Sue's voice cut through the darkness as she quietly shuffled down the hall from the kitchen. She was dressed in her robe and slippers, holding a steaming mug.

"I…..I….um…."

She stared at me with her dark eyes and I was utterly speechless.

Shit.

However, I noticed her gaze was softer than I expected and not as accusatory as it should have been.

"I was just borrowing your car to….um…" I sighed in defeat, my shoulders slumping. "I was sneaking out to see Seth."

She pursed her lips and waved her hand for me to be quiet. She pulled me out onto the front porch, closing the door quietly. I gasped a little, my breath coming out in white puffs of air against the black night.

"You go tonight, you say what you need to say, and you come back. Tonight, Regan. I mean it."

I gaped at her.

"Y-you're….letting me go?"

She stared at me for a moment before her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"He loves you, Regan. And I know you love him. I….I get it."

"You do?" I said happily, a smile gracing my face for the first time in what felt like years.

She waved at me to be quiet again, and I snapped my mouth shut.

"I get it, but that doesn't mean I can support it. Not yet, anyway. Listen. I understand what's going on. I know my son. He wouldn't do this if it was wrong. He would never hurt you or do something dishonorable. It's Seth, after all, and…and I know my son's intentions. But," she said firmly. "You're still in high school. He's a police officer in a small town. So you go tonight, and you figure out what you're going to do. I'll take care of Charlie."

"Really?"

"This is your one free pass, Regan. Just this once. Here. Now go," she said, dropping the keys in my hand. I nodded, not sticking around for lengthy explanations. I shot off the porch like a bullet and into her car. She returned into the dark house and I sat in the driver's seat in shock for a moment.

She had let me go. Willingly. To talk to Seth.

Then, I realized something with a shaky breath. Sue knew. Sue approved. What would Seth think? My mind began to whir as I struggled to find the key on her keychain. If Charlie caught me, I might as well just keep driving until I got back to Phoenix.

My hands shook.

I gripped the steering wheel of Sue's car, swallowing my fear. At least it was a change from only feeling completely numb.

Fear and doubt.

A fair mixture of the two.

I turned the key, silently praying that her sedan would start quietly.

It didn't disappoint. I backed out of the driveway carefully, eying the window of Sue and Charlie's room. The curtains didn't move.

Swallowing the fear and doubt away again, I slowly drove down Charlie's street and away from the house. A shaky breath escaped from my chest and I felt myself calm down a little. Not much, but a little.

I was done sitting around. It had only been one day, but I was already going crazy and I needed to see him. My bad side that had slowly dissipated since arriving in Forks came raging back and I winced just thinking about it.

I didn't like stealing Sue's car under Charlie's nose, but I had no choice. Charlie would just have to deal with it. I needed to see Seth and patch things up. Something felt off, and I needed to fix it before it got worse.

The raindrops on the windshield steadily increased, and soon it was pouring. It had done a mixture of snowing and sleeting all day, not doing much to improve my mood. The temperature was just above freezing, and I wasn't sure what was more miserable - almost frozen rain or snow. I gripped the steering wheel as I carefully navigated the twisting road to Seth's house.

He was already in the driveway.

I parked Sue's car and killed the engine, opening the door. My breathing heavy as I felt panic start to enter the back of my mind. What if he didn't want me there? I slid on the slightly icy rocks, but I barely noticed. I made my way around the car, staring at him the entire time. He stood in the rain, dressed in only a t-shirt and jeans, his feet bare against the driveway.

Time slowed as I stood against Sue's car, my breath forming white puffs of air again in the cold rain.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his dark eyes burning into mine.

I looked at his jaw, halfway expecting to see a mark from Charlie, but there was none. I guess I should have known better. Apparently werewolves didn't bruise. Silly me.

"I…..I don't know," I admitted. "I was tired of waiting?"

His mouth opened slightly like he was going to say something, but it was hard to tell. We stood in the Cullen driveway, the rain pouring down on us in the darkness. I was shivering and cold and miserable but for the first time in days, I actually felt something.

I walked up to him, almost timidly. He stood still, his body rigid but his eyes soft. When I was inches in front of him, he tentatively pulled me into his arms. We embraced in the chilly light rain, no sound but the raindrops hitting the driveway and Sue's car.

I pulled away, looking up at him. I lost myself for a second in the deep, dark chocolate color that were his eyes, their warmth touching me. Just that one look made everything worth it.

"You shouldn't be here, Regan," he muttered, brushing my damp hair away from my eyes. I shook my head and laughed bitterly.

"Say it so you sound convinced."

"Regs…"

"Are you….are you mad at me?"

His shoulders slumped slightly, his exasperated breath coming out in a white puff of air. He ran his hand through his spiky black hair, his face tense and he stepped away from me. I leaned back against Sue's car, biting my lip as I watched his body seize with a stressful shudder.

"You know I'm not. This isn't your fault. A fuck up this size could only be mine," he muttered.

"So….so if it's your fuck up why do I have to be punished too? Seth…I…I can't be without you. I feel like I….like I died or something. You can't be with me like that and…and love me like that and then take it all away. You can't do that Seth, it…it's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, Regan," he spat, clenching his jaw. He glanced back up at the house, his face still somber and brooding. I felt my heart clench up in my chest. He couldn't do this to me - not this way.

"Seth please….just listen to me. I'll go with you. I'll go away with you, we can go somewhere and…and…." I was just babbling now, I knew it. But I didn't care. I had gotten a taste of what life without him would be like, and I couldn't handle it.

I didn't even want to try.

"You think I want things to be like this?"

His voice pierced through the icy darkness. I brushed some rain out of my eyes, my chest clenching even tighter. It was like a vice closing around my heart, squeezing every last bit of emotion possible out of me. I gasped a little, trying to catch my breath as a few hot tears joined the rain on my cheeks.

"You think I want to stand in my driveway, and…and make you cry? And hurt you? All because of what Charlie thinks?"

"It sure seems that way. I feel like all he does is treat me like his own child."

"Is that so bad?"

"No, but he needs to understand that just because we're together doesn't mean I'm going to run off and do something else stupid!"

"Regan, Bella got married young, and…and she moved away, started her own life-"

"-and she looks pretty happy about it too! Why is it so awful that I want the same thing for myself?"

"It's not, I….I just….The look on his face, Regan…." his eyes were pained as he spoke. He winced, brushing his wet hair away from his face. "It killed him to see us together. I don't want to hurt either one of you. Please understand that."

He reached forward, taking my hand in his. It automatically warmed mine, the heat spreading up my arm in a pleasant sizzle.

"He's like a second father to me. And you…."

"What? What am I to you Seth?"

"Regan…don't do this now. So much…."

"What is it, Seth? Us being together and being happy shouldn't kill Charlie. He should be glad that we've found each other. I….I love you so much that it kills me to have to lie to him like we have. But I do it because it means I can be with you, even if it is in the corner of a dark library, or in a town fifty miles away! So what? Is this all a big joke to you? Because it sure as hell isn't to me, Seth."

"That's not it at all, Regan. And it kills me that…that I can't be what you need me to be. And that all this other….crap gets in the way. Okay? But it does."

"I…" I stuttered, my head falling forward. He was telling me he couldn't be with me. I felt my insides twist as rejection settled over me, my worst fears coming true. Looking up, I caught his gaze as he stared at me. His eyes were thoughtful yet laced with pain.

"You don't want me?" I whispered, dropping my eyes to the ground.

Silence.

"Is that what you think? That this is my choice? Regan, you saw what Charlie did. Seeing you with me….it almost…."

"It shouldn't matter! What Charlie thinks doesn't matter! If you want to be with me then you should just be with me and all this other….this other shit just shouldn't matter Seth!"

I was belligerent and screaming in his driveway now, soaked to the bone with icy rain, but that didn't matter.

"I don't care what it takes to be with me, just suck it up and forget all the other crap and just be with me. I….I love you Seth….s-so much it hurts sometimes, but that's okay because you know what? For the first time in my life I want to fight to hold onto something. I have something good, something great and….and…I don't want to let you go. Fight for me, Seth. Forget everything else in this fucked up world and just be with me."

"Regan…"

"Seth, please, I-"

He flew at me. His long legs pushed him toward me, his body sliding to stop in front of mine. I didn't hesitate to do the same.

We collided in a tight embrace, his warm body making my freezing cold one sizzle. He held me against his body, the warmth seeping through our wet clothing. I held him against me like a vice, never wanting to let him go. I looked up at him, his burning gaze meeting mine.

"Kiss me," I demanded, feeling myself shake slightly. Although it wasn't from the cold. Just the idea of feeling his lips against mine once again after the hell I'd been through that week made me tremble.

"What?" he breathed, smoothing another scraggly, wet piece of hair out of my eyes.

"Just….I've been numb all day, and I need to feel something, just for a second. Kiss me Seth," I demanded, grabbing him behind his neck. He obliged, his lips colliding against mine. They melted together warmly despite the freezing cold air around us. For not wanting me there, he definitely deepened the kiss first. I felt his tongue slowly reach out to mingle with mine, and I welcomed it.

I kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

We were a tangled mess of arms and hands and frantic kisses as we stood in his driveway, clutching each other. It was a blur of nervousness and passion as he kissed me. My heart pounded wildly in my chest as his hand moved behind my neck, deepening the kiss further. I felt myself moan as he leaned me back against the side of Sue's car, his body flush with mine. Despite the icy rain that was falling over us, my body burned with a wild heat that only he could make me feel.

His lips slowed against mine, a low sigh escaping his lips. Pulling apart, we stared at each other.

"You have to go home, Regan."

I shuddered, looking down at the ground.

"I know. I don't want to though. I feel like….like you're slipping away Seth. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. Everything is…." I fought to regain control over myself, reining in my wild thoughts. My brain was moving so fast with everything that was happening that I almost felt sick.

"Is what?" he asked, inching further away.

I sighed, shrugging. "Everything is just spiraling out of control. You. Charlie. Sue. Lexi. I know something is wrong, Seth. She's gone."

"She's not gone. She's…she's fine, I just can't….Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do. But that doesn't-"

"-Just trust me Regan, okay? On this….just trust me. She's fine. She's not anything to worry about right now. Neither am I. Everything will be okay."

I twisted my hands together, looking up at him in the darkness. I could barely see his outline in the faint glow of the light from the house. His breaths came out in short, rapid puffs of white air and I could tell he was upset.

"Is this something to do with….with what you are?"

It was quiet again; the only sound was our slightly labored breaths and the rain. He shrugged, looking away.

"I'll explain everything….soon. God, this is just….shitty timing. I'm sorry, Regan, okay? I really am, but….this isn't a good time. You need to go home and I….I just need to get it together."

"Okay…" I said slowly, turning towards the car. "But what does that mean for us?"

"It means I have to figure something out. Something that will make us both happy, and…make Charlie not want to shoot me every time I come see you. I'm working on it, okay?"

I nodded, glancing back at him as I made my way to the driver's side of the car.

"You promise me that Lexi is okay?"

Seth nodded, walking over to me slowly.

"I promise. She's going to be gone for awhile, but then she'll come back….someday. I'll explain everything. Just trust me. You trust me, don't you?"

I nodded slowly, glancing up at the Cullen house. It was still. Too still.

Seth leaned forward, pressing his burning lips against my forehead. Closing my eyes, I tried to savor the feeling of his lips against my skin. We broke apart, Seth closing the door as I settled into Sue's car. My wet clothes clung to my body, and I felt like I would never be warm again as I started the engine. Seth motioned for me to roll down the window.

"I'll follow you home to make sure you get there. Drive slow, it's icy out," he said. I nodded, pulling slowly out of the driveway. Glancing in my rearview mirror, I saw him move to the woods beside the driveway. I began the drive home, the roads twisting and turning in front of me. I shivered as I cranked up the heat in the car, trying to get my heart to stop pounding in my ears.

My chest hurt; it was like my body was preparing itself to be away from him once again. It knew the pain of being separated from him for even a few days. But would I replace the pain with the numbness I had felt after Charlie hit him? I didn't feel anything then - was that any better? I wasn't sure if hurting was better than feeling nothing at all.

Something told me I was about to get a sample of both, whether I was ready for it or not.

I got home and quietly snuck back inside. Peeking in Sue and Charlie's bedroom, I saw that they were both asleep.

Safe, I thought.

Walking into my room, I quickly peeled off my wet clothes and pulled on my robe, yanking my cold, wet hair into a messy bun. I doubted I had ever been so unbelievably cold in my life. Turns out it was not smart to go out into a Forks rain/sleet storm in the middle of the night. A hot shower would be best at this point - if I didn't die from a broken heart, I would surely die from pneumonia.

Something stopped me before I left the room. A strange, twisting pull in my stomach made me halt in my tracks. I had felt this new feeling before, but never this strong. Looking over my shoulder, I spied the window that looked out into the backyard.

I glanced out at the darkness, my eyes searching. I knew Seth was out there somewhere, making sure I was getting in alright, but I still yearned to see him. As if he could hear my wishes, I saw a movement in the corner of the woods by the driveway. Seth's sandy wolf face popped out of the dark, leafless trees and stared at me.

"Goodbye," I said softly, knowing he could hear.

He gave me a nod, backing into the black forest. My eyes strained to see him, refusing to let him go. Then before I was ready, he was gone.

I climbed into the steaming water, no longer caring if the sound of the water woke Sue and Charlie up. Once under the hot water, I curled against the side of the shower wall and let my tears fall freely. I cried because everything was falling apart so quickly. Lexi was gone and I had no idea where she went; Charlie was disappointed in me; Sue knew she could no longer trust me; and worst, things with Seth were steadily unraveling. I had told him I loved him. What was wrong with me? I cursed myself under the hot water for blurting out something so stupid. Even if he did love me back, he couldn't be what I wanted him to be.

Eventually, I ran out of tears. My eyes were so swollen and puffy by the time I shut off the water and dried off that my face felt like it had been hit by a bus.

After changing and climbing into bed I finally felt my body start to feel tired. It was past two, I had done what I set out to do. I had seen Seth.

The memory of his arms around me floated around in my head as I settled deeper into the mattress. The last thing I thought of as I drifted off was how safe I felt in those arms.

Then, as I drifted to sleep, the last thing I heard was a distant howl.


	45. Chapter 45

Regan

When the weekend ended and I was forced to return to school, I expected things to be easier. However, with no way to contact Seth and no hope of him coming around, I was trapped. The hurt of what happened refused to heal - time did nothing for my wounds. Instead time only ripped them open further, exposing my sadness even more.

Everything I had held dear such a short time ago had been completely shattered.

Dinners were quiet and awkward, nothing more than small talk. I could barely look at the empty chair on the end of the table next to the stove where Seth usually sat without wanting to wretch. I roamed the halls at school with Zeke and Claire, both of them trying to converse with me. Their good natured attempts were fruitless; I wanted to be distant.

Distance meant that I didn't have to deal with anything.

I yanked my locker open on Friday afternoon, relieved to not have to do jack diddly squat for the next two days but lie around sulking. Christmas break was still on the horizon, yet not close enough to get excited about yet. I would have to get through another two days of school before we were officially off for break.

"Hey, some of us are going to Port Angeles to see a movie tonight. You guys want to come?" Zeke asked hopefully.

I chewed my lip as I tossed books inside my locker, avoiding Zeke. As horrible as it sounded, he was like a younger, carbon copy of Seth; same big, chocolate brown eyes that almost disappeared when he smiled, tan, flawless skin, straight white teeth…he hurt to look at.

"That new action one? Yeah, I know Quil wants to go. We're dragging Embry out too I think. Regan?" Claire asked gently.

I looked over at her, shaking my head. I knew I was asking a lot of Claire. She was being extremely nice and fragile with my feelings when that was so not how she was. The fact that she was acting so out of character for herself startled me a little. I must really look pathetic if Claire was being nice.

"Nah. I'm busy," I lied, cringing a little as soon as the words were out of my mouth. There was no way I was busy and they boy knew it.

Claire paused, leaning on the lockers. She looked over at Zeke, and I saw them exchange a look out of the corner of my eye.

"Busy?" he asked softly. He gave Claire a skeptical look.

"Hmm, yeah….what does 'busy' entail, out of curiosity?"

I picked up my backpack and slammed my locker shut, eyeing them both.

"It means I don't want to go to the movies. I'm grounded anyway. I doubt Charlie would let me out."

"I bet he would if I-"

"Just drop it Claire….okay?" I pleaded.

I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to do anything.

How could I tell them that all I wanted to do was sulk?

My friends were silent for a moment, watching me as I tucked my hair behind my ears and turned around.

I froze momentarily, still a little stunned at the poster in front of me.

Lexi's smiling face shone back at me, her face frozen in her normal, happy grin. For a moment I actually got a little lost in her bright smile before my eyes traveled upwards to the rest of the flyer.

'HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?'

I swallowed the lump in my throat, brushing past the words. The sunny yellow paper her missing person flyers had been printed on were just like her personality - warm, bright, and cheerful. It didn't match the words above her picture.

The three of us walked down the halls, ignoring the bright yellow flyers Lexi's frantic father had asked the school to post. They were plastered all over the town, the yellow papers a sickening reminder that our friend had disappeared. I had been wallowing so deep in my own misery that I had barely thought of how her family must feel.

Lexi's parents were divorced, but I had met her mother when she visited to help out her father with the search. Her parents were both clueless as to what could have happened to their daughter, and I felt horrible for her little brother. Her parents were divorced and although it was an amicable split, we could see the strain it was putting on their entire family. Every time Claire and I had seen anyone in Lexi's family around town the strain of their missing daughter was understandably wearing on them. With no leads or clues about where she could have gone, I knew from talk at the dinner table that the Forks Police department hadn't gotten far with the case. When Seth told me that she was fine and that he would explain everything I believed him. However, it was hard to not feel a little sick when I saw her name and picture on a missing persons poster.

I had to remind myself that I trusted Seth, no matter what. Even if I was terrified for my friend.

Claire and I both stared at the haunting, sunshine-y yellow posters. I felt my throat go dry as I fought tears. Zeke saw what we were looking at and gave us both a gentle push on the back to get going.

"Just keep walking," Zeke said glumly, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. I bit my lip and kept my eyes down until we were out of the school.

"I can't wait for Christmas. It'll be nice to have something to be happy about," Claire mused, stepping in a rather sloshy looking puddle. The mixture of muddy water and ice splashed out in front of her as we walked down the sidewalk towards the busses and waiting cars.

I glanced up, my eyes searching the street in front of Forks High. I hadn't seen Seth since that night, and I had no way of getting in touch with him. Charlie was still holding my phone hostage, and he didn't dare come to the house. I briefly wondered if things were awkward for them at work.

"What are you looking for?" Claire asked knowingly as we paused on the sidewalk. I jumped a little, trying to look casual and like I wasn't searching for Seth.

"Um…nothing," I said, switching my backpack to my other shoulder. The chilly December hair was blowing my hair around and making me feel colder than ever.

I always felt cold these days.

Zeke's phone beeped, making him take it out of his pocket and read the message. He frowned, glancing over at me before he could pretend to act casual.

"What is it?" I asked. Claire looked equally interested, but said nothing. I instantly grew irritated - it felt like there was something my friends weren't telling me and it was pissing me off.

"Nothing, nothing…"

"Who was that?" I asked, instantly growing angry. "Who was that from, Zeke? Zeke?"

He quickly shoved his phone in his pocket and cleared his throat.

"We should get going. Regan, you need a ride?"

I scowled at him, but I knew I needed a ride. Seth obviously still wasn't around the school today, or at least he was avoiding me if he was. It was cold out and I didn't have any interest in walking.

I huffed at him to try to get him to talk, but he pressed his lips together and gave me an innocent look. He looked so much like a younger version of Seth that it made me feel a little sick sometimes.

"Come on, I know you do," he pleaded.

I paused, glowering at the people around me and finally up at him.

"Sure, whatever," I agreed. I glumly waved goodbye to Claire and followed Zeke to the parking lot.

"What's eating you?" he asked as he drove through town. I shrugged, staring out the window. I was really searching for Seth's beat up bronco to show up on one of the city streets, but I didn't see it. That was odd. My chest twisted slightly, a pulling sensation drawing me away from my thoughts. It didn't hurt, but I definitely took notice of it. Something was off.

"Oh you know….friends being weird. Not telling me something," I guilt tripped him.

He grimaced a little as he turned onto my street.

"Don't worry about anything, okay? Just...we've got it under control."

"The pack?" I guessed. He nodded.

"Zeke, how are all these cryptic answers supposed to make me feel any better?"

"I didn't say they were…just….you know I would tell you if I could right? Jake has the pack under a gag order, and…..we can't say anything about it. I mean I physically can not. Did you know that?"

"No," I admitted. "I mean….I had a feeling. It's like a real…pack, right? Like real wolves?"

He snorted, turning onto my street. "Regan, in case you didn't notice…we kinda are real wolves."

"Oh," I said, nodding. I still felt uneasy.

"Is there something wrong? Is it Lexi?"

"No," he said quietly. "Listen, I've already said too much. Can you just….trust me on this one?"

He pulled into Charlie's driveway, putting his car into park. I shrugged, looking over at my friend.

"Do I have a choice?"

Later that night, I was sitting in my room, pathetically trying to do homework. Here I was, phone-less and grounded on a Friday night, throwing myself a pity party.

Great.

With a heavy sigh, I buried my face in my hands. I was sitting at my desk in front of the window, staring out into the dark night sky. I caught my reflection in the glass, shocked a little by what I saw. My hair was limp and flat, probably needing a wash. My cheeks were pale and almost sallow looking, and mixed with my glassy eyes I looked like a zombie.

Again, great.

Putting my pen down, I gave up on the idea of spending my Friday night doing homework. I wasn't even interested in pretending anymore.

"Whatcha doing?" Sue asked, walking in. She dropped a laundry basket full of clean clothes at the foot of my bed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Homework….sorta," I said with a sigh. I looked out the window, watching a few snowflakes begin to fall against the blackness.

"Great….it's snowing."

She ignored me, sitting down on my bed.

"Can we talk?"

I wrinkled my nose, giving her a shrug.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No," she said matter of factly, glancing up at me. Her face was serious, and for a moment I panicked. Was something really wrong? Was Seth hurt?

"What is it?" I asked, walking over to the bed. I sat down across from her, grabbing my pillow.

"I need to tell you something. This isn't easy, but…..I'm just going to tell you because I would want someone to tell me."

"This already isn't looking good Sue."

"No, it's not. Listen, Regan….Seth….he….he left."

Her words rang in my ears as I stared at her, dumbstruck.

"What do you mean….h-he….left?"

She shifted uncomfortably on the bed, avoiding my gaze. "I mean he left. He went away for awhile. I'm not sure when he'll be back."

I stared at her. The moments ticked by one after the other as I tried to grasp what she was telling me.

Seth.

Seth was gone.

As in, not in Forks.

Gone.

It wasn't sinking in. I took a gasping breath, trying to control myself.

"What are you talking about? How could he just….how could he just leave?" I asked, jumping up from the bed. My hands shook and I felt sick.

"Regan, listen to me. After what happened with Charlie, he….he couldn't handle it. He just left to get his head straight. He thought it would help everyone cool down a bit and…and he thought he was doing something good for you."

"So how long does that take? A day? A weekend? A month? What?" I demanded, turning to her. "I mean…how could he have left? Just left me here? How could he have done that?"

"Regan," Sue said softly, narrowing her eyes at me. "You know he'll be back. He just needed to get himself together. He loves Charlie…and he loves you. I know he does."

"Bullshit," I spat. "You don't leave people you love behind."

My chest contracted sharply, making me grab my stomach as my venomous words pierced the air. I fought the urge to vomit.

He was gone.

Sue closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head. "Regan, he's coming back. He has to come back, you don't understa-"

"-What don't I understand? That he's gone? That he left? He abandoned me, just like everyone else in my shitty little life has? I get it Sue, that's the problem! He couldn't handle a little spat with Charlie and he hit the road! I understand perfectly."

My voice felt like poison, spewing from my mouth without my control. I was livid. I was hurt. I was so hurt I was livid. I paced in front of Sue, clenching and unclenching my hands.

"How could he do this to me?" I whimpered, clawing my fingers through my hair. I felt hot tears sting at my eyes, threatening to spill over. My stomach clenched and turned, making me want to run to the bathroom and be sick.

"He's really gone?" I whispered, my voice breaking.

Sue nodded, her eyes stormy.

"Yes, baby, but he's going to come back for you. You have to believe me when I say that."

"I don't believe in much anymore," I whispered, brushing past her. I went down to the kitchen, needing to distance myself from everyone for a second. Charlie was working late tonight, so it was just me and Sue. Once in the kitchen, I ran some cold water in the sink and threw it on my hot cheeks to feel better. I stared out the window into the dark backyard, watching as the snowflakes clung to the frozen ground.

I was tired of being so confused all the time. Fed up was more like it. I wanted to know the truth. If Lexi was fine, I wanted to know where she was. If there was really something scarier than werewolves out there, I wanted to know what that was too.

I was tired of being in the dark.

If things were really as bad as they seemed, and there was some sort of dark evil out there…Seth couldn't have left me like this. He wouldn't abandon me unless he knew I was safe. Could it be that Sue was just bluffing to keep me away from him? Was he just avoiding me?

My stomach twisted again, solidifying my thoughts. He wouldn't have left me if there was danger about. It just didn't make sense. Who was lying?

"You can't be gone," I whispered. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the back door open and found myself in the dark yard. Stumbling forward in my socks, I barely noticed as they grew damp in the freshly fallen snow. It was just starting to stick to the ground and was barely half an inch thick, but it chilled my feet to the bone.

I didn't notice.

The lights from the kitchen grew dim as I made my way forward into the backyard. The tree line loomed before me, taunting my fears and challenging my instincts to run like a coward.

Seth was gone? I didn't buy it. If there was danger, he wouldn't just leave me here defenseless.

Alone in the dark woods, I was bait.

Was I crazy?

A little.

I was bait for danger, and bait for Seth.

If he was out here, he would show himself. Yell at me, scream at me, shove me back into the warm house. He would come out and rescue me.

Yes, I was indeed crazy.

My breath was visible in the frigid air as I moved a branch aside to step into the woods. The leaf-less trees and saplings brushed against my long sleeved t-shirt and yoga pants. The frosty mix of snow and slush sank into my socks, allowing the cold to seep up into the rest of my body.

But I didn't care.

I stomped through the snowy woods, my eyes straining to see something; anything. Where was he? Would he be a human, or a wolf? I wandered further and further, shivering harder as the minutes ticked by. How far would I have to go to find him? Surely he was close.

Or was I really losing it?

No.

He wasn't gone.

I refused to believe it.

The pulling sensation in my chest returned. It still didn't hurt, but it made my insides twist slightly as it tugged at my sternum.

I stopped, looking around. The snow fluttered to the ground all around me, nothing greeting me with nothing but icy silence.

Crack.

I whipped around, half expecting to see Seth.

Nothing.

Something rustled in the leaves behind me.

I whipped around, my breathing shallow. I couldn't panic - Seth would save me. He always did.

But where was he?

My heart began to pound in my chest, the rhythm echoing in my ears. My breaths were quick and low as I spun around, trying to get a grip on myself.

"Seth?" I called out.

Silence.

Then…

Crack.

Another twig snapped under the weight of something….or someone. I took a shallow breath and stepped toward the noise, my eyes scanning the dark trees.

"Where are you? Seth?"

Nothing.

I inhaled a shaky breath, holding it.

Silence.

I could hear nothing but the frosty snowflakes hitting the dried leaves at my feet.

"What are you doing out here?"

Warm hands encased my shoulders, spinning me around. I shrieked, my eyes struggling to focus on the tall, tanned figure in front of me. My shoulders slumped suddenly, realizing who I was with.

"Zeke?"

He nodded at me incredulously, looking around nervously.

"Regan, what the hell are you doing out here? It's dangerous!"

My mouth fell open in shock. Zeke was there. Not Seth.

Zeke.

"Where's Seth?" I demanded. "I know you know!"

Zeke was quiet a moment, shaking his head at me sadly.

"He's not here Regan. Why are you out here looking for him? Are you nuts?"

I glanced up at my friend, noticing for the first time how shaken he appeared. He stood in the snow, completely bare except for a pair of ripped and muddy khaki shorts.

"He….where is he?" My voice shook almost as much as my hands. I balled them into fists to keep them from trembling as hard as they wanted to. Zeke looked down at me with sad eyes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

He didn't want to tell me something.

"He's gone, Regan. Come on. I heard Sue tell you. Why don't you believe her?"

"You heard….never mind. He isn't really….?"

My mind was reeling, making it hard to speak. Could it be? Had he really left? My mind refused to believe it.

"She told you he left. Regan, you can't be out here. It's so dangerous, I mean….what are you doing out here anyway? Answer me," he said firmly.

"Just….I knew if I came out…"

A sob escaped from my chest before I could control it. Zeke instantly moved forward, pulling me against his scorching hot skin.

"Offering yourself up as bait won't make him come back. He asked me to look after you. I've been patrolling your house all week."

"He….he…."

"He wanted to make sure you were protected Regs. I promise. But he's gone - you can't be running around the woods like this. It's too dangerous."

"Where is he? Zeke, Zeke please! I have to know, I just…please, tell me where he is!"

I was going ballistic, bat-shit crazy in the middle of the snowy woods, and I didn't even care. Zeke clung to my arms as I felt my knees go weak in all my sobbing furry. Tears streamed down my cheeks, blocking my already limited vision in the night. I cried so loud and hard that I collapsed against Zeke's chest, pounding my fist into him.

"He left me Zeke! He left…..I….I…."

"I know, Regan. I'm sorry. He'll be back, just….you can't do this here. Come on," he pleaded.

Zeke was tight lipped the entire walk home. I had wandered further out than I realized, and couldn't believe I had been so blindly stupid. He coaxed me into the house, making me promise to stay inside.

"If you leave, I'll know," he muttered as I closed the door. I shuffled up to my room, slamming the door behind me and ripping off my snowy clothes. Ripping off my socks, I wrapped my body in my bathrobe and proceeded to stare at my blue toes as they regained their color and feeling.

He was gone.

He was really gone.

The next day, Charlie tried to talk to me. I was less than receptive.

"You… erm...you ready for finals?"

"Finals are after Christmas break Charlie," I practically hissed, retreating back upstairs.

"I was just asking!" he called after me as I slipped back up the stairs. I heard him toss something on the kitchen table in disgust as I slammed my door shut. It had been a few days since my incident in the woods, and I still didn't feel any better about my situation. At least before Seth had been around to keep me company when I was grounded.

Now I was just alone.

Sniffing, I settled down on my bed and shoved my ear buds in, cranking up some angry music. I propped my legs up on the ugly aqua wall, lying back and trying to clear my mind.

It never helped.

My mind worked constantly.

Where did Seth go? Why did he leave? Or yet, where did Lexi go? If she was okay, why wasn't she here? Why did her father think she was missing?

I felt someone sit down on the bed beside me, making me open my eyes. The scent of brown sugar and flour mixed with Dove soap washed over me as Sue gently tugged one of my ear buds out of my ear.

"What?" I asked flatly, yanking the other out. Couldn't they just let me have my peace? Wasn't I miserable enough?

"You're breaking his stubborn old heart you know."

I grunted in response, looking away. Charlie had hurt me. I'd been hurt enough by parental figures in my life - I didn't need him joining the club. Sitting up, I shrugged at her.

"He broke mine."

Sue pursed her lips, trying to be firm. Yet somehow, her tan face softened as she stared at me.

"You're so like Bella sometimes….and sometimes not."

"Your point?"

She smiled sadly, her lips pressed together in a tight curve. "He loves Bella so much. He was so happy when she was here. I remember visiting with my first husband when he was getting her room ready. This room. He was so excited that she was coming to stay with him. He wanted to prove that he could do it - that he could get the whole 'parenting' thing right finally."

I bit back a sarcastic comment and tried to remind myself to be mature. Sue was just trying to help, and I didn't mean to put her in an awkward spot. I guess I was just a natural at it by now.

"So Bella married young. He needs to stop being so stupidly stubborn and let me live my life….and that includes Seth."

I looked down at my messy bed, picking absently at the comforter as I said the last part. I could feel Sue's eyes on me, but I bit back the urge to fill the silence with more words and explanations. She knew how I felt, but she hadn't ever heard it out loud.

"What about Seth?" she asked.

By the tone of her voice, I knew she already knew the answer.

"I'm….sorta….um….I love him," I admitted stupidly, still avoiding her eyes. I had never felt more like an immature teenager than I did now. I couldn't even look her in the eyes as I confessed my love for her son.

She inhaled lightly, and I could hear her swallow the lump that had surely formed in her throat. Was she disgusted with me for admitting something like that?"

"You do?"

I nodded, fiddling with a lose thread on my comforter. Glancing up, I met her dark eyes and felt my stomach do a little flip.

"I believe you," she stated simply. Reaching over, she paused a second before grasping my hand. "He would be hard not to love."

I gasped a little, shocked at her choice of words. Never before had my ears heard something so utterly true.

She smiled weakly at me, standing up. Pausing in the doorway, she turned and looked at me again to see my expression. "Don't you think?" she asked, her voice barely audible. I swore I could see her eyes shining slightly, but I couldn't be sure. Sue Clearwater didn't seem the type to cry over a mushy secret.

I nodded, trying not to tear up myself.

"Yes," I said, my voice cracking, "It would be impossible not to love Seth."

Things were different after that.

I think Sue understood me better.

Or at least she understood my crazy behavior.

The next day, Sue insisted she drag me to Port Angeles to do some shopping. I had bought Charlie a present weeks ago when we found a Bass Pro Outlet, but now I was regretting it. I knew it was childish, but we still weren't' on speaking terms and damnit, I didn't want to get him a present.

I was angry with him.

We parked and headed into the mall, my boots slipping slightly against the pavement of the parking deck. I didn't have to work that day, and I actually had a roll of fives and tens from my cashed paycheck at the Piggly Wiggly that was burning a hole in my pocket. As we entered the warm, brightly lit department store my mood instantly lifted a little. The entire place was decked out in typical mall-like Christmas cheer, and it actually made me feel a little better.

"Do you want to look around and meet me back here in an hour?" Sue asked.

"That's fine," I agreed, securing my bag on my shoulder. We parted ways and I began to roam around the brightly lit store. The thought that I had yet to purchase anything for Seth was nagging me. Were you allowed to buy someone presents that you were currently forbidden to speak to or see? I wasn't sure.

I browsed the clothes, the accessories, the jewelry, and finally ended up at the shiny glass counters of the purses and wallets. When I saw the sleek, masculine lines of the brown leather men's wallet in the case, I decided to say screw it. I was eighteen, and I had my own money.

Charlie couldn't stop me from buying Seth a present.

"Can I see that?" I asked the saleslady.

She eyed me over her small glasses. Her mixture of light blonde and gray hairs of her bouffant stuck up off her head, catching the overhead lights. Never the less, she unlocked the case and pulled out the brown leather wallet, handing it to me.

I bent over the counter, admiring the way the soft leather felt against my fingers. The material looked sturdy and tough, but was actually smooth and quite supple. Almost like the soft skin behind Seth's ear that made him shiver when I kissed it. The color of the wallet was a smooth caramel, just like his skin.

I cleared my throat and put it back on the counter, trying to control myself.

Now that I was comparing an accessory to Seth, I officially knew I was going crazy.

"How much?" I asked hopefully.

She told me the price and I flinched.

"We can also monogram it in store. It only takes half an hour."

I swallowed, sticking my hand in my purse. I pulled out a wad of cash that was most of my work money, handing it over to her.

"Can you monogram it with 'SC'?"

She nodded, quickly turning to ring me up. I browsed the rest of the department while I waited for Seth's present to be finished, looking at fancy purses and scarves. A few years ago things like that would have had me drooling, but now…now what I wanted for Christmas was much more complicated than needing my mother's charge card.

What I wanted I couldn't have in practically every sense.

Nothing else seemed to matter.

"Would you like it gift wrapped?" she asked when I returned.

"Um, no. I'll wrap it myself," I said, tucking the small bag onto my arm. She nodded and smiled at me over her glasses.

"Nice wallet. Someone will be happy to have that."

"I hope so," I muttered, shoving the receipt in my purse.

"Happy Holidays," she said, giving me a tiny wink.

I cracked a smile and wished her the same.

When I returned to Sue, she eyed the bag on my arm. The warm, cheery department store suddenly felt very hot as I tugged at my scarf.

"You buy a present for yourself?"

"Not for myself, no," I said quietly, shifting the bag to my other arm.

Sue sighed, looking around the store as if the walls had answers for her.

"Am I not allowed to buy him a present now?" I asked in an exasperated voice. I was being a whiny teenager and I knew it - but I was fed up.

"No, of course you can. You can buy him whatever you want, Regan."

I eyed her for a second before she turned and walked out of the store. As we maneuvered the icy parking lot, I suddenly felt like it was almost Christmas.

After getting home, I wasted no time wrapping Seth's present and jamming it under the miniature Christmas tree Sue had placed in my room the week before. The tree was slightly dusty and spindly; pieces of multicolored tinsel tangled in its pathetic fake branches, and the rainbow strand of lights flickered if I bumped the corner of my desk too hard. The tree looked like it had seen better days, but it did a little something to improve my sucky mood.

I placed Seth's wrapped wallet carefully under my two-foot tree, wincing slightly at how lonely it looked. I pushed the thought from my mind and tried to feel satisfied that I had been allowed to buy him one present.

I guess I felt like if he had a present to unwrap…maybe he would come home.

Where he belonged.

A teacher's institute gave me an extra day off that week, and I used to do what I did best: sulk.

Friday night.

Saturday.

Sunday.

Monday.

The days passed and I did nothing to acknowledge that they did. I kept the blinds drawn, not that it mattered. It was either dark out or sleeting and snowing so hard it looked dark out. I skipped getting out of bed. And showering. And caring.

Once a day I would slink down to the kitchen for a sandwich or a handful of crackers. I couldn't eat much though; anytime I thought too much about Seth or how alone I felt the food would churn in my stomach uncomfortably. It didn't matter anyway - most of my time was spent curled up in my desk chair watching it rain/snow/sleet, or curled up in my bed with my blankets.

I felt like I had died.

Actually, I felt like I was just in-between; I was in the middle.

Purgatory.

Floating, just out there.

I didn't care what happened to me or even how it happened. All I knew was that I was miserable without Seth and I wanted my suffering to be over. I stared at the shiny package under the Christmas tree, thinking back to last year. I played with the bracelet on my wrist, the black cord so soft by now that it was almost like velvet.

I wanted him to come home.

I was so lost in my own misery that I barely noticed when there was a soft knock on my door early Sunday evening.

"Go away," I muttered under my breath. I didn't dare say that louder for fear it was Sue instead of Charlie.

The hallway was silent. Frowning, I stood up and yanked the door back open.

"Look, Charlie-"

I stopped, my eyes wide. It wasn't Charlie in the upstairs hallway.

"Bella?"

She froze, giving me an awkward smile.

"Um, hey," she said softly, running her hand through her dark, wavy hair. I frowned, very confused as to why Bella was standing in my upstairs hallway.

"I thought you were Charlie….I'm sorry," I said. "What are you doing here?"

She looked around the hall, looking quite uncomfortable. "I uh…thought I'd crash here for the holidays. Kinda...giving the old man a visit? I...just thought he would like to have me here."

I nodded, eyeing her. I liked Bella, but something about her definitely put me on edge. It was strange really; she had been nothing but kind and interested in me the time we had met on New Year's Eve.

"Maybe if you're here, Charlie will give me a break," I grunted, walking back towards the door. She shrugged in her off-putting way, nodding a little. She fidgeted with her nails, eying her old bedroom over my shoulder.

"Can I…talk to you for a minute? Just like….for a sec?"

I shrugged indifferently, shuffling over to the door. "If you want, sure."

I walked inside my bedroom, suddenly a little embarrassed that I had let it get this bad. Clothes were strewn around the floor, my desk was covered in papers and magazines, and my nightstand and dressers were littered with empty water bottles, books, and un-used wrapping paper. She gently pushed my iPod aside and sat on the unmade bed, taking a look around.

"Sorry it's such a mess….I um….need to clean I guess."

I ran my hand through my hair, wincing as I realized I probably could stand to take a shower as well. Catching a glance of myself in the mirror, I winced as I took in my reflection. I looked like fucking hell and she looked like a model.

"Looks like it did when I was here," she mused. "I guess Charlie said Leah kept the clutter-y tradition," she said with a little laugh.

"I…I wasn't expecting any company. I would have cleaned up….ah, I guess I would have cleaned up myself and my room."

"It's okay. Don't clean on my behalf, trust me," she said. I sat down in my desk chair, nervously swinging side to side.

She watched with her wide brown eyes, awkwardly pulling at the same loose thread on my comforter that I had been playing with all week.

"So what…brings you?" I asked finally.

She bit her lip, glancing down at the comforter before she stuttered a few times.

"Well…I guess I….I mean…"

I watched her try to form her words, amused at my own realization.

This girl was awkward.

I had met Bella last year at Seth's New Year's Eve party, and my cousin had absolutely captivated me with her strange grace and poise. She had seemed unworldly beautiful next to her handsome, chiseled-out-of-marble-husband, but when he was around she seemed too captivated by him to talk much. Now, without him to look at, she seemed off.

She wasn't as perfect as I had envisioned her to be in my mind for the last year.

She was definitely awkward.

Beautiful, but awkward.

"Why are you here?" I sputtered out, immediately embarrassed by my rude comment.

She looked up in surprise, her brown eyes wide.

"Well….I just figured that you might want to talk to someone. Sue said that you were um…..well I know that…."

As my cousin stuttered and sputtered in front of me, I felt myself losing patience with her. I knew she was here for the pity party - had Charlie really resulted to calling his daughter to help him win me back over? It wasn't going to work.

"Did Charlie ask you to come?"

Bella stopped mid sentence, her jaw dropping open a little.

"N-no," she replied, shifting a little on my bed.

"Then…no offense, but you didn't have to come and have some sappy heart to heart with me. That's not what I need right now, trust me."

"Well….no, I just…I wanted to come and talk to you. I know your friend Lexi um….disappeared."

I nodded. Where on earth was she going with this?

"What do you know about Lexi?" I whispered.

Bella looked up at me, her face solemn. I watched her debate for a second, as if she knew something and didn't know whether or not to tell me.

Did she know something?

Her next words confirmed it for me.

"I know that's she's safe. And she's protected. And she misses you."

"So why can't she come back? Where is she that she can't come back to school, or…or let her family know she's okay? Her dad is going crazy right now, I-"

"Regan, Regan," Bella interrupted, holding up her pale hand. "She can't let her dad know she's alright. It would put her in danger."

"So you're telling me?" I gasped.

She nodded. "You're….you're good with secrets, aren't you?" She practically whispered. Bella stared at me for a long moment, her gaze hopeful yet guarded.

I shook a little. Something didn't' feel right in my gut.

"What do you mean?"

A soft, sad smile appeared on her lips, and she gave me a little nod. "You know a secret about Seth, don't you?"

I bit my lip, immediately looking away from her. She was asking me if I knew Seth's big, wolfy secret. I didn't know how to react - no one outside the close knit group of my friends had ever asked me about that before. I didn't know what I was allowed or not allowed to say about them.

"I'll take that as a yes," she said softly. "We all have secrets, Regan. I won't ask you to confirm it. I know about the pack."

I glanced up, surprised.

"You do?"

She nodded. "Yes. I have for years now."

"What…what secret do you have then?"

Bella smiled more openly now, her perfect features shining. "That's not for me to say. But I wanted you to know about your friend. She's safe with my family. We're protecting her, and it's important for us to be with her right now."

"Are you like…protectors or something?"

She nodded. "Something like that. We're just making sure she's okay right now. She was in danger, and with us she isn't. Does that make sense?"

"No," I chuckled. "But I have a feeling it will have to do. I mean…why can I know and her family can't?"

"Because you know about these things. You're a part of this now, whether you want to be or not. There's a whole other world out there that you don't know about Regan."

"But…but I'm not special like Seth, or Brady, or any of them. I found out by accident - I don't-"

"-But you do know. I know I can trust you with this. This is….I mean…Lexi is safe now, but she also has her own secret. Does that make sense?"

"No. What do you mean, she-" I stopped, staring straight at my cousin. "Is she a….a wolf too?"

Bella chuckled softly, shaking her head. "No, she's not a wolf. But she's something else. Something different. Lexi went through a change, and she needed to stay away for awhile while she got used to it all. But she's getting there, and….and her family can't see her. They don't know about this world, Regan. Not many people know, and not many can know. It would be very dangerous for her, and Seth, and even me if people found out about us. Do you understand?

It hit me like a wrecking ball.

"You….you're….you've got a secret too, d-don't you?"

Bella looked down at her lap, biting her lip. "What do you think?"

I stared at her, trying to figure this all out. This girl was being spooky; speaking in short riddles and using all these strange secrets to help me understand. It seemed like she couldn't confirm or deny anything.

"You're…you're different. Why can't you say how?"

She stared at me, her expression unreadable. Downstairs, I could hear Sue and Charlie talking somewhere, but everything else but this conversation was off my radar.

"What….what are you?" I asked. "If you're not a wolf like Seth is, then….then what are you?"

Bella said nothing for a moment, her eyes boring into mine.

"That's for you to decide. But Lexi is….like me now. And she's safe. And soon, you can see her. She just needs to gain control of herself. She's in a new world, and you're part of her old one. Sometimes, if you're really lucky like I was, then…the two worlds can overlap a little. But only sometimes. Do you understand?"

"So…you're telling me this because Lexi is different now, and because I know about Seth."

"Right. I guess it's safe to say that our secret is safe with you?"

"I guess…I just wish I knew what it was."

She nodded. "There are consequences for my words. But not for your guesses."

I frowned at the latest riddle she used, still not fully grasping what was going on. In some ways I felt like I knew less now than I did when she first arrived.

"I wish I could just be honest with you. But please understand. Or try?"

I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I'm used to being confused at this point."

"I know. And I'm sorry, for…for what it's worth. But you're helping us keep Lexi safe. And protected. I know Brady would appreciate it. So would Lexi. And…I know you're going through a rough time right now."

"You do?"

She smiled, snorting to herself. "Yeah, um….let's just say Charlie hasn't changed much over the years. He's still my old dad."

"He's making me nuts. I wish he would just back off and let me live my life. I mean….he freaked out on Seth when it was my fault, not his."

"Sue told me. I guess….Charlie just really cares about the people he loves. He's stubborn and set in his ways, but that's what makes him Charlie. Give him another shot, yeah?"

"I guess I'll have to," I said sadly. "I just wish he would back off a little."

"Would it help if I said he only does it because he cares?"

"Not really."

"Oh," she chuckled. "Well he does. I had a hard time once when I was about your age. My husband, Edward, well…he left me for awhile. It almost killed me….well, it at least made me lose a few marbles. I never thought I would get over it."

My interest was piqued.

"So what did you do?"

"I stuck it out. Not without a few Charlie lectures, but eventually I did. I got up, tried to move on, and….and before I knew it, everything had more or less worked out. I had to sacrifice a lot, but…I'm happy now. And you will be too. I know it."

"I wish I had your same hope," I mused.

"Yeah, well…..hope is hard to have when times are tough. But you'll get through this. You'll have your happiness someday Regan."

With that, she offered me a tight smile before standing up and leaving the room. I sat in my desk chair, frozen for a few moments trying to take in everything she had said.

I felt strangely better, at least about Lexi. What had she meant, 'she's like me now'? I didn't understand that at all, but the fact that Bella seemed alright made me feel a bit better. Did that mean Lexi was happy?

I popped my ear buds in, cranking up some music that would drown out my swirling thoughts. I was more confused now than ever.

The next day, I was lounging in my desk chair, staring out the window at the snowy sky. I hadn't gotten much accomplished over break, despite my prison-like surroundings. There was a small bit of homework that I had over the holidays that I had been attempting to do for days, but I could never concentrate long enough. The pulling sensation in my chest had returned, and it made me feel unsettled. It made me want to do something - I just wasn't sure what. When the doorbell rang, I heard Sue go answer it, and seconds later Claire was parading into my room in her usual loud, boisterous way.

"You've been sprung."

My jaw dropped slightly. "Really?"

"Well…no," she admitted, dropping down to my bed. "But I thought I would come and visit you. Charlie is at work, and I knew Sue would cave. What are you doing?"

"You mean I can't leave?"

"You wish," she quipped, ripping my ear bud out of my ear. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing."

"Sulking," she added.

"Shut up," I argued back. I stood up, annoyed with her as usual. I was a little happy that Sue had allowed me a guest - I figured I would survive most of Christmas break in solitary confinement. I was hopeful that the fact that she had allowed Claire into my room showed a bit of relenting on their part. I paced in front of my dresser, scowling at her.

"Well you are. Hello, Regan….I mean, get out of bed. Take a shower for Pete's sake. I didn't know the 90's grunge look was back in."

"It's not…oh," I realized, catching my reflection in the mirror. My eyes had deep circles, and they were framed with greasy looking hair and pale cheeks.

"You're right…um….be right back?"

"Quil's on patrol today till nightfall. I've got all day," she mused grabbing a magazine off of my floor. I grabbed my robe and hurried to the bathroom, quickly taking a shower. I scrubbed myself clean, feeling a renewed sense of hope. As much as Claire annoyed me at times, it was good to see someone from the outside. I had to tell her about Lexi after all.

"You look better. Feel good to finally shower?"

"Yes," I replied smugly, rubbing my hair with a towel. Pulling my robe around my body, I flopped down in my desk chair and looked at her.

"I do feel better. So what brings you here?"

She shrugged, looking around my room with a bored expression. "I had a feeling you were here moping. And I just…missed Quil, so…."

"You most likely saw him yesterday," I replied flatly. "How could you possibly miss him that much?"

She sighed, rolling over onto her stomach. "I don't know, Regs, I just do. What's it to you?"

I was jealous, really. Claire most likely had seen Quil yesterday. I was really really jealous.

"I guess I just wish I could see him. I'm…I'm sorry, Claire."

"It's okay," she said sadly. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to throw Quil in your face or anything…"

"What is up with you two anyway?"

"Nothing," she snorted. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, after the wedding you two were at each other's throats and then….then it's like all is forgiven and you're attached at the hip again. What gives?"

"He's my best friend Regan. No offense," she added to me. "But I just have to realize that I can't throw that away just to satisfy my hormones. If he wants to be just friends, then…I'll take it. It's better than not having him at all."

I frowned at Claire's apparent sudden brain transplant and tried to shake it off. If she didn't want to tell me what was up with her and Quil, then she obviously didn't need to. Claire wasn't known for changing her mind. Or doing something she didn't want to do.

Was she right though? Was having a guy like Seth in my life as just a friend enough? Should it be enough for me, and nothing else? If I hadn't fallen for him as hopelessly as I had, would he still be with me now and not gone?

"So do you know where Seth went?"

"What does it matter? He's gone," I muttered, fiddling with the tie on my robe. I ran my hands through my long, tangle wet hair and sighed. "I ran him off I guess. Just like everyone else."

"You didn't either. Stop pitying yourself or I'll leave," she threatened, and I half believed her. "I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow."

"Why would he come home tomorrow?"

"It's Christmas Eve? Don't you think he'll want to be with his family?"

"Don't you think he would want to not abandon me?" I shot back. Claire shut her mouth, taken aback by my snappy comment.

"He's coming back, Regan. A guy like Seth can't stay away long. He can't stay away from the pack! He had duties; they all do."

I sighed, glancing out the window. It was sleeting against the glass, the early afternoon light barely shining through the dense clouds. My stomach turned a little, the same pull twisting in my chest returning. I shifted, trying to get the strange feeling to go away.

"Bella visited yesterday," I stated.

Claire sat up on the bed, giving me her full attention.

"Bella? She came here?"

"Yeah…" I said slowly noticing the nervous look on her face. Claire looked around the room as if she expected Bella to pop out of nowhere.

"What did she want?"

"She…she told me something about Lexi."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Just that….Brady wanted to keep her protected from something bad, and that…Bella and the Cullens are helping her."

Claire's head jerked up.

"What do you mean?"

I frowned at her, noticing that she looked more panicked than relieved.

"She said she's okay, and….and that we can see her soon. She just said that Brady wanted to protect her, and so did the rest of the Cullens. They're helping her."

"Helping her with what?"

"That's just it, I…I don't know."

"Hmm…" Claire mused, frowning. "That sounds weird. I mean…." she trailed off, her normally rosy cheeks paling a little.

"What? What is it?" I demanded, jumping up. I sat on the bed next to her, trying ot read her worried face.

"Nothing, I just….nothing," Claire siad, brushing it off. "So any plans for tomorrow? What are you up to?"

"I'm gonna guess dinner here. Sue said Bella was coming by on Christmas day with Edward, so….yup."

Claire gave me a funny look before changing the subject again.

"I think Seth will be back tomorrow."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

She sighed, giving me a rare sympathetic look. "This will all be alight Regan. You have to believe it will."

I was tired of everyone telling me that, but I had to believe them.

It was all I had.


	46. Chapter 46

Seth

After getting off the phone with Leah, I wasted no time. I grabbed the essentials, taking only what I needed, and jammed them in a small bag.

I heard light footsteps in the hallway as I grabbed my cell phone charger, just in case. I had turned my phone off after hanging up with my sister, and I didn't think I could bear to turn it back on. I was afraid of what it would bring me.

"You're leaving?"

I looked up, meeting Lexi's bright red eyes. She bit her lip, watching me as I continued packing, ignoring her question.

"Why?"

Her soft voice cut through the silence of my bedroom, making me shudder on the inside. I avoided looking into her prying gaze, for fear I would cave.

This was best, I told myself. I needed to think of Regan and what was best for her. Me being around was only going to complicate things. I shoved the crumpled up letter from the Seattle Police department into my jacket pocket, hoping I could still read the phone number on the tattered piece of paper. I had thrown the first two offer letters away, but the third…the third, I had kept. However, I had crumpled it up and flattened it out so many times over the last few hours that I doubted I could even read it anymore.

I wished I had a way to see the future. When Alice popped into my mind, I growled to myself. A dependable way to see into the future.

Lexi huffed in the doorway, trying to get my attention.

"It's not permanent," I replied shortly.

Lexi was quiet for a moment, standing like a statue. She still hadn't gotten the whole "how to act human" charade down yet. I would often get a bit unsettled when I would catch her sitting somewhere, stock still and not breathing or blinking.

"She'll forgive you…but she'll never forget. Girls never forget things like this," she said.

I looked up as she turned and left the room. She was right, and I knew it. Regan would never forget that I'd done this to her, but I couldn't stay. I needed to clear my head and put my own selfish needs above what everyone else wanted for a second.

Lexi flitted ahead of me, her movements quick and jerky. Her red eyes were full of disgust and pleading at the same time.

"Don't do this."

I ignored her.

Maybe if I went away for awhile and let her grow up… my mind played with me. Would it make any difference? Would my not being there do anything beneficial for her? If I was gone, would she spiral back down, or grow up some more?

"I'll be back. Tell everyone, okay?"

Lexi said nothing as I brushed past her, ignoring her still unforgiving red gaze.

I paused, thinking of the pack. I needed to tell Jake. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I would catch Jake just before the end of his patrol shift. Making my way outside, I stripped and phased practically without thinking. He was there, just as I knew he would be.

Hey…

Hey, he answered back. He assessed my mental state, a concerned flavor to his thoughts. You're leaving?

If you'll let me.

Of course I would let you, Seth. I'm not going to order you to stay.

Well, you could if you wanted to. I just think I need to step away from things for a minute. It got…ugly.

Care to share?

He was concerned, I could feel it. As someone who had colossal imprint problems of his own, I found myself hoping he might be able to offer me some insight.

I showed him the entire night – my date with Regan, coming home, Charlie punching me, and even my phone conversation with Leah.

I'm doing more harm than good being here, Jake, I pleaded. All I've done is mess up her home life. She was doing so well, and then…then she started sneaking around with me. I'm not helping her by being here and messing with her head.

But…you love her, don't you?

Of course. That's why I have to go. Just give her some space.

You think she'll like that? Regan doesn't seem like…like she would like someone thinking they know best for her. Isn't that why she hates Charlie so much right now?

Yes. And…I'm putting my mom in an awful spot. She knows Regan is my imprint and wants to help me in all aspects of my relationship with her. She can tell how much I love her; I mean…it's written all over my dopey face when I look at her. But does she help me behind Charlie's back? Then she would be lying to her husband. I can't ask her to do that to him. Then I would have two people I love lying to make me happy. I can't do that. I love them all too much. Even Charlie.

I guess I see your point. I still don't think you should go.

I don't know what to do. If I leave, I make things worse. If I stay, I keep making things worse. I just feel like I want to disappear sometimes.

It can't be that bad, he tried to reason with me. Seth, you're a good guy. A happy little jackass, but a good guy. I refuse to believe that you would do something to hurt your mom or Charlie or especially Regan. You have to do what you have to do. I won't make you stay or leave. If you really want to, maybe just take a few days to sort our your head?

I don't know. But all I've done is mess things up for her, and I don't want her to grow up unhappy. She was…just thriving before this all happened. She had friends, she had good grades, she was happy. And now…now, all I've done is drag her into my world and wreck it all.

Seth, no, you haven't. All you do is try to make her happy – that's the imprint, and…and that's just you.

Not lately.

And you think you know what's best for her?

Of course not, I said quickly. That's not it at all. But she's gone so long without getting into any trouble and…and I was the one who went and screwed that up for her.

So you think leaving will be best? Jake asked, his mental tone indignant. You sound just like Edward.

I was dumbstruck for a moment, trying to figure out what he meant. It clicked when Jake thought back to another time in his life – one I wasn't sure he wanted me to see. But I was so curious, I watched his thoughts anyway.

It was a flash of short, brief clips in his mind, but I knew what it was.

Bella as a human.

Thin.

Depressed.

Lonely.

So frail and beaten down, she looked like she could break.

I suddenly understood even more as he showed me another glimpse. This time, it was with Edward in the picture. It was Bella again, but this time…

She looked whole.

Happy.

Regan isn't Bella, I pointed out. Edward wasn't getting her into trouble.

She was dating a vampire, Seth. Do I really need to expand on that?

I refused to believe that the two scenarios were the same. Edward's reasons for leaving Bella were to keep her safe from the perils of dating a vampire. My reasons were completely different.

I had to do this to help her.

If I was out of the equation for a little while, I hoped things would get better for her again.

I would do anything to make Regan happy. While I knew that she would be upset when she found out I had left for a little while, I could only hope that she would realize I did it to make her life easier.

Jake wished me luck, and I quickly phased back. I jumped in the Bronco, silently praying she would make the drive to Seattle. I trusted the old machine over short distances, but I didn't know about a long trip. I guess I would find out. Speeding from the Cullens' driveway, I was very grateful that they were all at the cottage visiting Jake and Nessie; I didn't feel like a long explanation at the moment.

As the lines on the pavement blurred under my tires, I tried to think of anything but Regan. Naturally, my mind taunted me with visions of her large green eyes and chocolate hair. Whatever magic had brought her to me also liked to fuck with me.

Royally.

Of course, everything with her had been worth it – seeing her grow and mature and figure life out had changed me as a person. It made me thankful for my mom and dad, and for Charlie, the stubborn ass that he was. I realized how important all of these people were to me and how lucky I had been for the childhood I did have with them. My imprint had never gotten that. I had originally hoped to be a stable source of love and friendship and support for her, and for awhile, I'd felt like we had fallen into a stride. So what had happened? I frowned and gripped the wheel.

Life had happened, that's what.

I errantly wondered if Edward would let me run away with Regan to Isle Esme for a few years. My mind tortured me with images of the two of us, sun kissed and scantily clad, running around on a beach for a few years without the rest of the world. Undoubtedly, we could live there and be fine. There, we would just have us – nothing between us, nothing standing in the way, no prying eyes from outsiders.

But what reality was that?

It wasn't.

I knew that.

I couldn't take an eighteen-year-old girl and live on a secluded island. What kind of life was that?

An appealing one, but…not realistic.

Damn you, reality, I thought.

The normally long drive to Seattle flew by as I was consumed with my thoughts. By the time I spied the Space Needle, my brain hurt a little.

Okay, maybe it was good that I was stepping away for a minute. I arrived at Leah's apartment as my head was starting to pound. I needed to stop thinking for just a moment.

The door swung open, revealing a person I was very relieved to see.

"Hey, little brother," Leah said, swinging her arms up and around my neck. She hugged me tightly, her long arms embracing me with all her might.

"Hey," I said, cracking a smile.

I followed her inside, Leah beaming at me the entire time. I grinned at the huge tray of lasagna that was cooling on her kitchen counter, along with a mammoth-sized portion of garlic bread.

"Wow…" I breathed, sitting down at the counter.

"Hey, now, you have to share. I still have my appetite," she growled playfully, sitting down beside me. She poured herself a glass of wine, offering me some, as well.

"Nice place," I said between bites, observing her new apartment.

"Well, you couldn't expect us to live in that hole in the wall forever. I am married to a doctor now."

"Um, yeah...a vet."

"Well, I'm technically half animal, so that appeals to me. Anyway…how's the food?"

"Spectacular," I said, nearly choking as I tried to talk with food in my mouth.

"Lovely," she replied in a flat voice as I tried to swallow.

We small talked our way through dinner, although most of our talk was limited, due to the mass consumption on our parts. It felt good to eat and laugh with my sister. She gave me a tour of her new apartment after we finished eating, and I had to admit I was proud of her. My sister had never been particularly girly or domestic, but her new home with her husband was quickly proving me wrong.

I swirled the rest of the wine in my glass around, staring out the window at her view of the Seattle skyline. She wasn't high up or in the swankiest area of town or anything, but her view of the Space Needle was nothing to scoff at.

"You done good, sis," I said, giving her a soft punch on the shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I had to grow up sometime," she laughed, returning the favor. "I couldn't live forever in Charlie's spare bedroom, shunning makeup and only donning the sweatpants."

"Right, right," I muttered, staring down into the red liquid. I swirled it around some more, trying to keep my mind off of my currently stalled life.

Because that's what it was – stalled.

I was waiting for my imprint to grow up. I selfishly wanted her to age so that I could have her – all of her – to myself.

Turns out imprinted wolves didn't care too much for sharing.

Leah cleared her throat and looked over at me, her face growing serious.

"Okay, so we've done the dinner thing and the catch up part. Come on, Seth. Why are you here? Last I checked, you had an imprint back home that you couldn't stand to be away from. And correct me if I'm wrong, but…before I left on my honeymoon a few months ago, you were all, 'Oh, I think I love her, Leah!'" she breathed, rolling her eyes at me.

"That's a sucky impression of me," I growled playfully, glancing at her sideways. "My voice isn't that high."

"Seth," she said in a warning tone.

I shrugged, trying to figure out the best way to tell her what was going on with my life. Leah wouldn't take any shit, even from me.

"I have to tell Scott something. He might need to know why you're visiting. He's good with weird, being married to me and all, but…he might wonder why my baby brother is going to be crashing on our couch for a few random days. What gives?"

I shifted in front of the window, turning away from her prying eyes. "I don't know."

"Bullshit."

My head jerked up at her rough tone. "What?"

"You didn't just run away screaming—"

"I didn't scream…"

"But you did run away. So tell me why."

I was quiet, trying to come up with an explanation that Leah would let me get away with.

"Just to…breathe for a minute. Explore my options. I dunno…"

"What's that about?"

I turned away from the windows, huffing slightly in frustration. For once, my sister's life was perfect. How did I explain that mine had fallen to shambles?

Turning around, I looked back at my sister. With one look from her deep, understanding eyes, I exploded with words and stories from the last few months. They tumbled out of my mouth like lava from a volcano; once I started, I couldn't stop. I told her everything – the kiss, the romp in my bed, the date to Port Angeles, the library, everything.

She listened with wide eyes and silence as I poured out my heart in stories and desires and things I hadn't dared to share with anyone. I shared how selfish I felt, how right it felt to hold her, and how much I wanted her to age so that Charlie would accept us. So that the rest of the world would accept us.

"I helped fix her and put her back together when she came here and…and now, I feel like a bad influence. I feel like she's going backwards. Like we're going backwards. I feel like I'm fucking her up. I'm making her life harder than it needs to be. All I want is for her to be happy and normal, and…she's my imprint Leah. Of course I want things to be perfect for her. Could I live with anything less?"

"You're not. I don't even have to be there to know that. You wouldn't do that, Seth."

I thought a moment, trying to think of how to best explain my problem. If anyone could help me, it would be Leah.

"It's just that all this sneaking around and lying to Charlie…it just makes me feel like a piece of shit. I hate asking Regan to lie, or…or bend the truth, at the very least, when she's with me. I mean, what doesn't Charlie want to get? He's said himself he loves me like a son. So if I'm so great and he loves me, then why can't I turn around and do the same for Regan? Why am I not allowed to be that guy for her? I just…I can't figure out where I went wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong. Charlie is a dad. He was a father to Bella, he's acting as a father figure to Regan…hell, he stupidly tried to be a father for me a few times. He thinks he's protecting his little girl. I mean…it's easy to see why he is probably molding Regan and Bella into the same person in his mind. He knows his daughter ran off with…well, Edward. Whether or not Charlie knows what Edward is…"

"I think he has the general idea. Charlie is a lot of things, but he isn't stupid," I muttered.

"Right," Leah replied. "So he knows what you are, too. Once again, he gets to watch his 'daughter' get ripped away by something much bigger and better and supernatural. I mean, I can't blame him for being overprotective. He's been a cop his entire career; it's in his nature, don't you think?"

"Yeah, well…"

"So he's only trying to protect his little girl. Would you expect any less of Charlie?"

"I thought he would be more accepting of me."

"But he's not going to be, and he's made that very clear. Big deal. So you maybe wait a few more months until she graduates high school, and then she'll move out and be on her own. Why can't you go back and share that time in your life with her? You never got that time, that fresh grad feeling with nothing to hold you back. Live that with her. Don't imprints love all that mushy, together-y stuff?"

"Yeah, yeah we do."

"Then you need to accept what you can't change. I didn't let you come here so that you could whine. Yeah, your situation sucks, but you aren't going to change it. You said yourself he can be a stubborn ass, so you're acknowledging he won't change. So instead of driving a stake between your step-father and coworker that'll be impossible to repair, why don't you just suck it up for a few months?"

"Leah—"

"Stop being such a little bitch, Seth. Suck it up. Life sucks, so adapt. It's not like your life will never be less sucky. It's just sorta sucky right now. So accept that and move on from it. Focus on the future and how much you have to look forward to. Be happy that Regan is growing up and that you'll have a someday with your other half that was made just for you."

"Little harsh?"

"You're whining. You have an imprint. You've found your other half. Be grateful. Some of us…will never have that."

I looked over at her in the dim light of her darkening apartment, catching the first trace of sadness there I had seen in quite some time.

"Lee…you're happy, right?"

"I'm in complete bliss. But there's still…I mean, sometimes…I love my husband, but he's not my imprint. He'll never be. Is he out there and I just missed him? Or is this it for me? Was this the universe's way of letting me imprint?"

"True. But you love Scott."

"With all my heart. I'm not saying I don't."

"But…you still wish you'd imprinted?"

"A little. I've seen what it's like in your minds. I won't lie...I envy it. I envy you, Seth."

"No, you don't."

"Don't do that. Don't say it like that. Things are bad right now, but…just accept what you have as a gift, and…suck it up for half a year. You'll live the rest of your life happy. This is the blink of an eye compared to everything else you'll get to live through. So why are you so unhappy?"

"It's not that I'm unhappy, I just…"

"Listen, baby brother. I lived years…years…thinking that I would be miserable forever. I know you've had a taste of that."

"Yeah, I sure have," I said. My mind took me back to the almost non-existent time in my life before Regan. I had to struggle to remember it.

"Well…I was never yanked out of that by the joy of an imprint. I stumbled out of my own…terrible misery phase and happened to slowly fall in love with Scott. It wasn't this big, instantaneous thing like imprinting. It was still wonderful to find it the old fashioned way, but…you have it. You know you'll have it someday. So, I guess I don't see what you're throwing a huge fit about."

"I'm just tired of sneaking around. I want to be with her like…not at the back of the library or in my car. I want to take her out on dates and hold her hand and…"

"I know you do," she said softly, bumping her shoulder against mine.

I smiled half heartedly, pulling my sister into a tight hug. "I won't stay long, Lee, I promise. I just needed to get away for awhile. Give her some time."

"It's okay to need a break sometimes. But just…don't shut Regan out. You don't want her to go backwards, right?"

"No, of course not."

"Well…then just remember what's important."

I sighed, releasing her and shaking my head. "Yup. Regan."

I poured myself another glass of wine after that, retreating to the small balcony of Leah's apartment. Her husband, Scott, was on break, so he called her to chat. Not wanting to listen to their newlywed gooey talk, I grabbed my phone and flipped it open.

Hey.

There was a brief wait before Zeke texted me back.

Hey, man. Where are you?

Went to see Leah for a few days. But keep that under wraps.

Why?

I needed to get away, I answered back. How could I explain the entire story to him?

Come back. Regan needs you. We all do.

I know. I will come back. Just not now. I need a few days.

What for?

Clear my head.

Because THAT gives me answers.

Just watch over Regan while I'm gone. Will you patrol for me?

Yeah. I'll watch her house.

Keep track of her. Please?

Yeah, I said I would. But I wouldn't have to if you came back.

I'm just on a mental health vacation. Just watch Regan.

I will. But come back soon so I don't have to.

Hear ya. Thanks, Zeke.

No prob.

Shutting my phone, I swallowed the rest of my wine in one gulp. My chest ached slightly, the twisting, turning pull that connected me with Regan rearing its ugly head.

Why now? I thought. I just wanted to be left alone to think for a few days. If anything, I needed the situation with Charlie to cool down. I knew he would still be angry, but Charlie was the type who needed to settle down after an argument.

Would Regan hate me when I returned? Part of me knew she wouldn't, but the other part wasn't so sure. I knew I had made a mistake by running out of town like a coward, but I wasn't perfect. Imprinting on Regan had improved my life in so many ways, yet it had also put a lot of pressure on me, too. For a year and a half, I had put my own worries and fears aside to be there for her and be a strong anchor, despite being scared out of my mind for imprinting on a teenager. The pressure to always do what was best for her was…intimidating.

I had undoubtedly hurt Regan by leaving. I knew I had confused her as well. She would wonder where I was and why I had left….I had broken my promise to her.

I had left.

Like I told her I never would.

I swallowed hard, a tear slipping out of the side of my eye. I hadn't cried in years; not since I thought Bella was dead.

But these tears…these tears were the shame I felt for running away from my imprint like a coward. A few more tears slid down my cheek and for once….I didn't stop them.

That night, as I slept on Leah's too-small couch, I tossed and turned as my mind continued to taunt me. Again and again, I pictured Charlie's fist coming at my face, and then the look on my mom's face afterwards.

No, no… I thought. Think of something nice.

Regan.

My mind always went to her. How would she look right now?

I pictured her face, framed with her dark, wavy hair. My mind made a few pieces blow across her cheeks, which would be slightly pink, as if she had just said something embarrassing or slightly off-color, as she always seemed to do. She would look gorgeous and utterly unaware of it, as usual.

Yes, Regan always calmed me down. As I pictured her face, I felt my body settle back into the couch and relax as I slipped into a dream.

The smell of coconut wafted into my nose, followed by the faint scent of tanning lotion. Opening my eyes, I squinted slightly at the sunlight. It was so bright; I wasn't used to the sun being so intrusive against my eyes. Wherever I was, it definitely wasn't Forks. My vision was slightly blurry and felt slow, but I didn't mind.

I knew this was a dream.

But what was wrong with actually enjoying it? I could dream, right?

I rubbed my eyes and tried to get them to focus better, just as a familiar face appeared in front of me.

"Time to wake up…"

I felt a smile slowly creep across my face as I realized Regan was hovering above me. The sunlight framed her heart-shaped face as she leaned down, the tips of her chocolate hair tickling my chest.

"What?"

"Wake up…"

"I'm up. Stay. Stay here with me."

She grinned, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Come outside with me."

"Outside?"

"Yeah. I want to take it all in with you."

I had no idea where we were or what she wanted to "take in" with me, but I wasn't about to pass up quality Regan time. Especially when she looked this beautiful. Damn, I thought.

Sitting up, I watched as she slid off the bed and turned to look at me. "Get dressed and come outside," she said with a smile, resting her hand on the door frame. Something on her left hand glinted slightly in the sunlight. "Don't keep me waiting," she laughed, hurrying out of sight.

I got out of bed and pulled on some shorts, wondering where we were. My vision was still blurry, and it was hard to concentrate on anything but her.

Regan.

I smiled to myself and walked into the hallway of the ornate, lush home we were apparently staying in and opened the first door I saw that was to the outside. All at once, I was in the bright morning sunlight. My feet hit the soft sand, and I could smell the saltwater. Up ahead, leaning against a palm tree off to the side, stood Regan.

"Hey," she said, walking up slowly. Her feet kicked up a bit of sand as she walked, her light cotton dress blowing in the gentle breeze.

"Hey, yourself,' I said, reaching out to touch her. It was then that I noticed the ring on my hand, as well.

"Took you long enough, Mr. Clearwater. It's not good manners to keep your new bride waiting," she replied coyly.

My jaw dropped slightly, looking down at our rings.

She laughed, grabbing my hands in hers. "I'm all yours…and we're here, alone…nothing but this island and each other. What do you say we kick off this honeymoon right?"

I laughed in a mixture of joy and disbelief. Here I was, apparently dreaming about my honeymoon with Regan. She gazed up at me expectantly, and for the first time, I noticed how different she looked. Her hair was a bit longer, she stood maybe an inch taller, and her face had changed with age. She was even more beautiful now than she had been as a teenager, I thought. If that was even possible.

She threw her arms around my neck, giggling happily as I stumbled back in surprise. We hit the white sand with a thump, Regan straddling my torso in her flimsy dress. I groaned as I felt her hot, sun-kissed body melt against mine in the early morning light…

"Son?"

I blinked, refocusing my eyes. I stared at the man across the desk from me, trying to figure out what he had just said. Something about a letter…

I cleared my throat and glanced down at the numbers on the offer letter below me, and then the blank line farther down.

"If you want to make the move, you can go ahead and sign. Or if you have more questions…"

"I'm sorry, what?"

He gave me a tiny smirk, and I could practically taste his displeasure. He was offering me a salary three times what I made now to fight crime in Seattle, and I could barely pay attention to his speech.

I had decided to at least go and talk to the recruiter at the Seattle PD, just out of curiosity, more than anything else. The crumpled letter had still been in my pocket, and for some reason, I couldn't get their offer out of my mind. Would it be best to move here for awhile, let Regan have her space? Let her grow up without me clouding things up? I had to do what was best for her.

But what was best for me?

"You seem like you're somewhere else, Mr. Clearwater. I can assure you, we would need full dedication if you made this move to the Seattle PD."

"I realize that, sir. I know," I replied, trying to get myself together.

He nodded, offering me the pen for the second time.

I balked at it, accepting it with a grimace. He watched me carefully from across the desk as I let the pen hover over the blank line. The pen was poised above the paper, practically begging to glide across it.

But…

I couldn't.

I couldn't sign.

Something as holding me back.

And it was the tug in my chest that let me know my imprint needed me.

I heaved a sigh, setting it down as my shoulders slumped.

"I…I think I need to think about this before I can…be fully dedicated. Personal reasons," I mumbled, not making eye contact with him.

He shifted in his seat, obviously disappointed. Licking his lips, he nodded, taking the offer letter back.

"I understand. Wouldn't want you here if you were somewhere else. If you change your mind…the offer stands. But I can't promise how long."

I nodded, standing up quickly. I heard the chair squeak on the floor as I pushed it away, shaking his hand quickly.

"Thank you for the opportunity, sir. I appreciate your time," I said quickly, before hurrying out.

As soon as the cold Seattle air hit my face, I felt better. That office had been so stuffy. Looking around, I realized I was in the heart of downtown Seattle, and it was a rare clear day. I didn't want to go back to Leah's and sulk, and I certainly wasn't ready to go home yet. I was a little lost.

I began walking, my mind swimming with confusion. What did I want to do? Give Regan space and chance losing everything? Or if I went home, what would that cause? Either way, I was sure I wanted my choice to lead me to the end product being the dream I'd had the night before. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was slowly torturing me. How could I get from where I was now to there? I wasn't sure which path would lead me there. If I went home and things ignited even more than they already had, I risked damaging her home life and all of the stability she was just now getting used to. If I stayed here, I would make her feel abandoned and maybe even hate me.

I was already regretting my decision to leave. Three days ago when I arrived in Seattle, I was convinced I was doing what would make my imprint the happiest. I was putting her needs above my own so that she could sort out her home life and things could settle down again. Was I overthinking this?

Put one foot in front of the other, Clearwater. Just breathe.

My breaths came out in white puffs of air as I walked through the bustling crowds of downtown Seattle, weaving in and out of the people.

I felt empty.

Like a shell.

Who was I kidding?

This wasn't where I belonged.

I belonged home – in Forks.

But was I wanted there?

I slowed, pausing to look in the shop windows as I strolled by their exteriors. Something small and shiny caught my eye, and I stopped to stare at it.

It was nestled in some black velvet on its display, the lights above making it glitter. It was a simple, yet sparkly little flower with six diamonds as petals and one in the center. Clean and elegant.

"And what girl doesn't like something shiny?"

My head whipped around in disbelief. "Edward?"

He grinned, flashing his white teeth at me. I sprung at his hard body, hugging him tightly. I couldn't have picked a better person to randomly show up at that moment, and I was ecstatic to see him.

"Nice to see you, too," he chuckled, pulling back.

I couldn't believe my luck. Edward had been with Carlisle most of the time in Forks and hadn't been around to talk to me much. They were busy helping Lexi adjust to everything, and I hadn't had time to talk to him lately. The fact that he was here today made me feel instantly better about things.

"How…why…I mean, what are you doing here?"

He laughed again, putting his hands in his pea coat. "I spoke to my wife, and she said that your mother disclosed your whereabouts. She seemed to think you could use someone to talk to. And I needed to come to the city to purchase something shiny myself."

"Yeah, you do have quite a few women to buy for."

"True," he said, nodding.

"So I can't believe you're here! This is great," I said happily, grinning at him. "How did you know where to find me?"

He smirked, glancing around at the passersby. "You think your wolf stench is difficult to pick up?"

I laughed, slapping him on the shoulder. "I should've known. I'm pumped that you're here, though, Edward. I…I could really use someone to talk to."

"I know," he said, nodding. He glanced at the necklace in the window, and then back at me.

I pictured Regan opening it on Christmas day, and then wearing it. He nodded, giving me another grin.

"You should buy it for her. Very fitting."

I chuckled to myself, staring at the necklace. It was fitting; Regan was wild, but beautiful – just like a flower.

A wildflower.

She was impulsive and fiery one moment, and then delicate and beautiful the next. She could live in the harshest conditions, but flourished when she was actually cared for.

Suddenly, I knew that it was something I couldn't be without.

"You're right," I agreed. "I have to get it for her."

He walked into the store with me, and I instantly felt better. Even if things had gone to shit with Regan at the moment, my buying the necklace made things seem a little brighter.

"Things will get better," he said softly as the cashier rang me up.

I shrugged, watching wistfully as two people picked out wedding bands across the store.

"Maybe. But if they don't right away, at least she'll know I care. And maybe someday, she…" I trailed off, unable to speak the rest. At least maybe someday, she'll understand that I was doing this because I thought it was the best thing for her. Even if it is killing me.

He nodded, giving me a sympathetic smile. "Believe me…I understand."

"I know you do, Edward. That's why it's just…perfect that you're here. Leah is great, but…she really handed me my own ass the other night."

"I wouldn't expect any less from her," Edward quipped. He pointed to something large and covered in diamonds in the case, and the clerk quickly pulled it out. After examining it for a few seconds, he nodded and slid a black credit card across the table.

"For Esme. She needs a proper case for her…nicer pieces," he explained.

I tried to be polite and look away as he signed the receipt.

"It's okay. I spend an exorbitant amount on the women of my family. It's worth it," he added with a crooked smile.

I laughed, following him out of the store as I tucked Regan's necklace into my jacket pocket.

"She'll love it."

"How do you know?"

"Women love shiny things. I've given a few in my time," he added.

"Right, right. Now I just have to figure out how to give it to her. She'll probably fling it back in my face. Or at least she would if she had any sense."

I'm not good enough for her, Edward. I left her.

He looked over at me as we walked through the crowded streets of Seattle, staying quiet as he listened to my thoughts.

I freaked. Charlie punched me, and I freaked. I ran out on her. What kind of guy does that make me? I'm a coward.

"You're no coward, Seth. I've seen you demonstrate more bravery in your blink-of-an-eye life than most do in seven lifetimes."

"So? Being brave sure as hell isn't helping me any now."

"True," he muttered, jamming his hands into his pockets.

We walked along, my stomach grumbling along the way. I wondered errantly if it would be rude of me to stop and eat; I knew he wouldn't eat, but I couldn't neglect my stomach, no matter how upset I was.

"We can stop. There's a coffee shop up ahead with good sandwiches."

I laughed heartily for the first time in days, looking over at him. "How would you know?"

He smirked again. "People are always happy when they're in there eating. Their thoughts are usually clouded by how good the food tastes."

"I'm sold," I laughed, following him inside. I ordered a larger than necessary meal, and Edward sat with a prop cup of coffee in his hand as I ate.

"So what was this dream about?"

I choked, coughing on a piece of sliced turkey. "You saw that?"

"You're obsessing over it."

"Sorry."

"It's all right. I can sympathize."

A light bulb went off in my head as I registered what Edward was saying. He could sympathize. He'd done the same thing to Bella many years ago, after all. I remembered the images Jake had shown me a few days earlier before I left. I watched him shudder.

"Sorry," I lamented, taking another bite of my food.

"It's true. I can admit what I did wasn't the best choice. That's part of why I wanted to talk to you today. You're doing what you think is best. But is it?"

"No. But I plan on going home. I'm not disappearing – just giving us both a breather," I explained.

"Does she know that?"

"Well…no."

He thought a moment as I chewed, his marble face somber. "It wasn't right to leave Bella, no matter what the circumstances. It nearly killed us both. Please...go back to Regan. Don't fight the pull. I made myself miserable trying to fight it, and Bella, as well."

"I remember."

And I did. When I first phased so many years ago, Jacob's relationship with Bella was so up in the air; all he did was obsess over her. The images of her in his mind while Edward was gone were hard to shake. I had never seen a girl look so miserable. Was that what I had done to Regan?

"You'll have to return to her and see," Edward said, finishing my thought. He turned the coffee cup in front of him in mindless circles, as if he was remembering his own pain during that time.

I think what you feel for your mates is what imprinting is like. I think you'd be anything for Bella. Just like I'd be anything for Regan.

He nodded at my thought. "So go home. Don't waste precious time here. Don't make my same mistakes."

I nodded. He was right. I needed to go home. I needed to stop putting Charlie above Regan, and it was time to say "to hell with it" and be there for her. I might get fired and Charlie might blow up and never speak to me again, but…at least Regan would be happy.

I just hoped I was making the right decision, even if it felt like a selfish one.

Once I had made the choice to return home, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. After Edward left, I made my way back in the direction of Leah's apartment. I had been there for a week now, and I wanted to do something nice for her for keeping me there against her will. I stopped at the market on her block and picked up a few things before returning to the apartment. She and her husband were both still at work, but I knew that today, they would both be home by nine or so. That gave me a few hours to whip up a pretty good meal.

By the time Leah and Scott walked through the door several hours later, I had cooked up our mother's famous spaghetti bake. It was a comfort food for me and my sister growing up, and I knew she would appreciate it. The look on her face when she recognized the smell said it.

"You are amazing," she uttered, gazing at the large tray of food before her. She squeezed Scott's hand, who looked confused about a tray of food.

"Yeah…it looks…great?" he half stated, half asked, looking over at me for help.

She laughed, rubbing his arm. "It's my mom's recipe, not mine!"

Scott's eyes lit up at that, and I had to chuckle at him. Leah was not a talented cook yet; she could make a few easy staples, but most of her attempts at cooking hadn't gone well, according to Scott.

"Smells delicious!" he agreed, and I started to dish out the portions.

We ate in almost complete silence, Scott only stopping eating a few times to compliment my cooking. When we were finished, Leah helped me clean up as Scott made himself scarce. The guy had a sixth sense; he always knew when I wanted to talk to my sister in private.

"Well…I'm going home," I announced as we dried the final dish.

She paused, looking at me with a grin. "Barely more than a week. Nice, Seth."

"What!" I asked. "I need to get home."

She giggled. "I'm not arguing! About time is more like it."

"You said it yourself…barely a week," I argued.

She nodded, shrugging slightly.

"I'm still glad you're going home – and not hiding in my apartment like a sorry ass pup!" she exclaimed, snapping me with her dishtowel.

I winced and growled, eyeing her. "I'm doing the right thing, right?"

"Of course."

"So why didn't you kick me out when I got here?"

"Then the only reason you'd go back is because I kicked your sorry ass back to Forks. This way, you went on your own. And you're doing the right thing."

"Whatever," I laughed, tossing the sponge at her.

She caught it without looking, and then turned to wink at me.

"You're doing the right thing," she repeated. "Besides…it's Christmas Eve. You wouldn't want to be anywhere else, would you?"

"No," I chuckled. "All right. I'm going home," I said in a firm voice. "Where I…probably should have been all along."

"You said it, not me!"

I packed with lightning speed, tossing my dirty clothes into my bag and bidding Scott goodbye. I met Leah in the hallway and gave her an appreciative hug.

"Bye, little brother."

I down at her, a little sad. "Wait, you're not coming home?"

Leah shook her head, glancing back into her apartment, where Scott was loading up their small fireplace with some store-bought logs. Leah had stacked a few blankets in front of the couch, not far from their brightly lit tree, and I understood.

"We just want to have our first Christmas…just the two of us. Ya know?"

I nodded sadly, giving her a weak smile. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. No prob. We'll miss you, sis," I said, leaning forward. I pulled her into a tight hug, giving Scott the thumbs up over her shoulder.

"You'll have the same thing someday. Sooner, rather than later," she added, pulling away from me.

I nodded, giving them both a final wave. I left her apartment and climbed into my Bronco, starting the engine with a dull roar.

It was Christmas Eve, and I needed to be home.

The drive back to Forks was ten times longer than I remembered it, which seemed fitting. In a way, I thought fate was punishing me a bit by making me wait for it. But returning felt good. It felt right. I didn't know what I was going to say to my mom, what I was going to say to Charlie, or what I was going to do about fixing things with Regan.

Would they even need to be fixed?

How much damage could be done in a a little over a week? And would she see that everything I had done, I had done for her happiness?

When I finally did get home, I wasted no time. With inhuman speed, I dumped my bag, parked my Bronco, stripped, and phased. Even the run to Charlie's house seemed long. I whipped through the dark forest in wolf form, ignoring the confused thoughts from my phased pack brothers as I raced in silence with one thing on my mind: Regan.

I had to see her. The urge to hold her in my arms was almost suffocating me, and I couldn't wait any longer. I slid to a halt at the tree line, my paws crunching in the icy snow. I phased back and pulled on my jeans and sweatshirt, walking into the dark yard. It was still all around Charlie's house, and I could hear the sound of three beating hearts as they slept inside. Of course she would be asleep; it was Christmas Eve, and it was late. I felt like a fool expecting her to be awake and waiting to hear my sorry excuse for an apology.

A light snow began to fall all around, the flakes floating to the ground in an icy silence. The cold, quiet night surrounded me as I stood in the dark yard. The moon glowed in the sky, veiled by a thin layer of clouds. If I hadn't been so miserable, it would have been a beautiful night.

I sighed in defeat. I would have to wait a little longer to talk to Regan. I felt like I was being punished, and I sure as hell deserved it.

Leaving had been stupid; I realized that now. What I needed to do was fix everything before it all fell apart even more.

My sharp ears honed in on Regan's heartbeat, listening as it quickened. Her breaths that were smooth and even grew shallow as she woke up. I gazed up at her window with hopeful eyes as I listened to her clear her throat and sit up in bed. The covers rustled as I heard her body wake up from a deep sleep. Then…the bed squeaked, and I heard her feet touch the hardwood floor.

She glanced sleepily out the window, her eyes suddenly wide as she saw me standing in the snowy yard. I held my finger up to my lips to tell her to be quiet, and she nodded with a few short breaths. I heard her slip on some clothes and make her way quietly downstairs. She closed the back door with a quiet squeak, her scent hitting the light, icy breeze.

Shuffling through the snow, she met my gaze and held it. Her eyes were wide as she clumsily made her way over to me, stopping a good five feet away.

We gaped at each other in silence.

I had a million things to say, but I didn't know how to even begin.

The snow swirled around her face, the icy breeze making her chocolate hair move against her pink cheeks. She shivered slightly, her green, jewel-like eyes as wide as I'd ever seen them.

She looked even more beautiful than she had a week ago.

How could I have left her?

"Hey," I breathed, my voice shaky.

Her jaw opened like she was going to say something, but she closed it as she debated. Watching her face, she went from shock to joy to anger and all over to shock again.

"You're back," she whispered, her eyes turning glassy.

I nodded. "I'm back."


	47. Chapter 47

Seth

She stared at me, her jewel-like eyes wide and her mouth slightly open, speechless.

I felt sick. She was so angry she was speechless, and I definitely deserved it. I felt the walls starting to close in on me.

"Say something," I begged.

She gulped, not blinking as she stared up at me in the snowy yard.

"Am….am I dreaming?"

I exhaled sharply, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"N-no," I said, my hands beginning to itch at my sides. I wanted to hold her; touch her; feel her against me. As expected, Regan held her ground. Although, why wouldn't she? I didn't expect her to come running back into my arms. That wasn't her.

"Then how are you here?"

I swallowed, prepping myself to fight an uphill battle. "I had to come back. I couldn't stay away. I never could."

"But you left."

Her voice was firm and unyielding; I should have known she would make me squirm. She was taking lines from Claire's book of uncomfortable situations now. I clenched my fists as my sides and tried to keep myself together.

"I….I thought it would be best. I….I was only making things worse for you Regan."

She laughed bitterly, her voice cracking. "Worse? Worse?"

"Yes," I muttered, looking at my feet. I felt like a kid being scolded, only this time I knew I deserved it.

"Seth, with you gone….things couldn't get any worse. I thought you had left me for good!"

"Of course not. I just needed a few days to clear my head and let things settle down…I….I thought I was screwing you up, Regs."

"How could you screw me up? I do that all on my own, I….I just can't believe you're back."

"Well believe it. I am. Regan, I'm…I'm so so sorry," I said honestly. My voice cracked with emotion, and I silently willed myself to keep it together. I couldn't cry; I wouldn't.

She stared at me in silence. I could hear her breath in the cold silence as I watched her try to make sense of it all. For once in my life, my tongue felt frozen. I couldn't even babble nervously.

"I thought you left for good."

"I could never do that."

"I didn't know that," she snapped. I nodded. I deserved that.

"You could have told me-"

"-I'm an idiot."

She swallowed.

"Yes," she replied, blinking back tears. "Yes you are."

"Please….please Regan, just-"

"What?" she cut me off, her voice barely a whisper. "You want me to forgive you?"

"Please?" I begged.

I would get on my knees if she asked.

I would grovel.

Plead.

Beg.

She stared at me.

Silence.

I knew this was going to be hard, but not this hard. I felt like I was being split in half. This could be it - she could reject me right now.

Had I done it?

Had I gone and made a fuck up so colossal that I had lost her?

My need to make her happy and normal again had clearly driven her away from me and I had done more harm than good.

"How could I have been so stupid?" I wondered aloud.

She waited, her pale face struggling to remain serious. "I…I felt like you had died. I thought I'd never be whole again. And you left me so that I would be happy?"

"I thought it….I thought if I backed off, your life could be normal again. I felt like I was only causing you problems. I….I just want for you to be happy, Regan."

She paused, looking down at the snow covered ground. "Why do you care so much about my happiness? What's it to you? Why do you get to be the one who decides how I should be happy?"

"How could it not matter?"

"You didn't answer me. Don't answer my questions with questions. Answer it. Why does it all matter to you?"

It was my turn to gulp. "I…I love you."

Her mouth fell open.

Silence.

"Um…d-do you love me?"

She gaped at me like I was the dumbest person on the planet.

Maybe I was.

Alright, I was.

"How can you possibly say that to me?"

"Because it's true?"

"Actions speak louder than words, Seth," she pointed out. "You can't disappear and…and leave me and then show up in my yard and tell me you love me! This doesn't happen to normal people!"

"Nothing about us is normal, Regan," I finally spit out. "Nothing."

"You know, for once I would like someone to just tell me the truth. Stop being cryptic, Seth, okay? Because I'm about to go out of my freaking mind," she snapped, wrapping her arms around her body. She blinked, a few fat tears falling down over her cheeks. I watched her shake a little, her sobs wracking her body. "You can't come here and say things like that to me."

I felt myself snap.

Heat flooded my body and I shook a little with anxiousness and frustration. I clenched my fists and felt my jaw clench as the words threatened to pour out.

I stopped fighting them.

"Okay. You want to know something? I'll tell you everything. Right now. Right here and now, if you want."

"I'm just…I'm done, Seth. I'm so done. You were right - I don't need this."

She turned around, furiously stomping away from me in the snowy yard. I knew I was risking Charlie waking up and hearing me, but it was now or never.

"You want to know why you felt like I had died?"

She slowly stopped, glancing over her shoulder at me. The snowflakes clung to her dark hair before rapidly melting, the moonlight making her look almost surreal. I gulped again.

"This wolf thing that I do, I….it makes me do some awful things, but the one…good thing I got out of it is you."

She turned back around, staring at me curiously. I tried to summon enough courage to continue.

"What?"

"I imprinted on you. It's our way of…of finding our better half. I…I was made for you. This wolf thing, it's…it's our tribe's magic. It has been for years, and…and the one upside of it is that it led me to you. You're my perfect match, don't you see?"

I paused as the words tumbled out of my mouth. Taking one step forward, I watched her face for any sign of emotion…or any sign that she might be closer to forgiving me.

"That's impossible. I can't…I can't be your soul mate. Imprint? What does that even mean?"

"I'm frozen, Regan. Frozen like this - in this body. At this age. I have been for years, I told you that. The reason I'm still phasing is because I hadn't met her yet. The One."

"One?"

"Yes. The one for me. I hadn't met her. But…but you're her. I'll stay like this until I can stop phasing someday…w-when you're ready. When you're old enough."

Her eyes widened.

"Quil."

I nodded as recognition sparked in her eyes.

"Yes. Exactly like Quil and Claire. He….he imprinted on her when she was two. He's been her best friend ever since, and he's been frozen like this, just like me. When Claire gets to be about twenty five, then he'll stop. They'll be equals then. Then they'll age together, like they were supposed to. It's just…I know it's crazy unbelievable, but it's the universe's way of pointing us in the right direction. It's imprinting."

"You're kidding," she stated, her eyes wide. "So…so I'm not crazy? This, all of this….I'm not losing my mind?"

"Of course you're not."

"So why Seth? Tell me why you do this. You don't just burst into a giant wolf for nothing. I want to know what the big secret is. I know that isn't it Seth; I'm not stupid."

She was talking so fast now that her words were shaky and jumbled together. Her eyes were wide as she stared up at me, begging for answers. And she deserved them.

"I know something is up with…with Bella, with Lexi, with all of them. I'm tired of cryptic answers I mean….I'm an adult! Seth, I'm an adult!"

"You're right. You're completely right Regan. But I have to warn you, you can't unlearn what it is I'm going to tell you."

"Just tell me then, alright? Just say it."

"Okay, um….just because I'm technically a shape shifting wolf doesn't mean I'm bad, right?"

She crossed her arms and looked a little petulant, but nodded. "I suppose."

"Well, the same goes for other things….for….vampires."

Her eyes went a little wider, if that was possible. "What?"

"Vampires. Bella and Edward and the rest of the family are vampires."

"You….you're joking."

"I wish I was."

Regan gaped at me, taking the news like most people did when they found out. Dumbstruck.

"I…..Normally I would tell you you're crazy and ignore what you just said, but….but it makes sense."

"None of this is supposed to make sense, Regan. It goes against everything you know-"

She held up her hand, cutting me off. "I….I'm getting used to 'weird', okay? This doesn't surprise me."

"So?"

"So…you…you said they're good?"

"Right. They don't have the erm…typical diet of vampires. You're perfectly safe around them."

Regan shivered.

"What?"

"Bella was….she came to see me. She was in my room."

"You were perfectly safe - I promise. Bella has never….indulged."

"Really?"

"Really. She met Edward and-"

"-And he was a vampire?"

"Yes. She found out, and…..she still loved him. This was her choice."

Regan bit her lip, holding herself tighter in the cold night air. "I guess if they were all bad….she wouldn't have willingly chosen it?"

"There's good in everyone Regan, regardless of what they are."

"Right," she said slowly. "Lexi?"

I tensed, debating what to say. No….no more secrets. Be done with the secrets.

"She was….she was bitten. By a bad vampire. He turned her to make Brady pay for fighting with him. Lexi…didn't have a choice."

Regan froze, her eyes dropping to the ground. She was silent for a few moments, and I gave her some time to let it all soak in.

"So I'm not crazy."

"Far from it."

"I don't' know what to think Seth."

"I just…I wanted you to know that I have no more secrets. You know it all, Regan. I swear."

"Right," she said softly, nodding.

I shook my head, my hands itching at my sides. They wanted to hold her; touch her. Know she was real again. I inched forward, hoping she would follow suit. I could still feel her anger as it rolled off of her in waves, but I could also feel her resolve weakening as well.

She was giving in.

"Please Regan. I'm sorry I left - I know it was wrong. Please believe that I thought I was helping you. Please? I would have never done it if….I would have known…."

She stared at me skeptically, her arms still crossed as she shivered slightly in the cold.

"I'll beg if I have to. Just…please."

"Don't," she said sharply, holding out her hand. As if she commanded my every move I stopped. Watching. Waiting.

"I believe you. I mean…I believe that you wouldn't have done it that way if you would have…have known," she stuttered. "I don't believe you would hurt me like that."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Too soon, it turned out.

"But you still did it. And it still hurt. A lot, Seth. You need to understand that."

I exhaled sharply, her words stinging. I knew I had hurt her; but I didn't mean to. Didn't that count for anything? Apparently not.

"But I can't look the other way on this. I trusted you. And you left. Just like you said you wouldn't."

"Regan, please…if I could go back and fix it I would. Believe me," I demanded. She nodded, another tear rolling down her cheek. I stepped closer on instinct, wanting to wipe it away. "I swear, Regan. I swear on my life that….that if you give me another chance I will never…never disappoint you again. Please believe me," I begged.

She nodded, swallowing hard. "You swear?"

"I swear. Regan…."

Her name hung on my tongue as I trailed off, unable to speak anymore. I had pled my case and I could hope for no more.

Regan was silent for a moment, just staring at me.

"I don't feel like you're real. All of this just….it doesn't make sense. Why of….why of everyone else in the world would you be for me?"

"Don't you see?" I breathed. "How could you not? You're perfect for me."

"Perfect," she said bitterly under her breath.

"You are. Don't deny it. You know how we make each other feel. You think that happens every day Regan? You think what we have is just a coincidence? It's not. The pull you feel to me-"

"Pull?"

"Yes. You know what I'm talking about," I pleaded desperately. "That pull, that feeling in your chest that just makes you want to go to that person. The same pull that's making me insane right now. It wants you to be with me, and vice versa. I know you feel it," I begged.

She looked at the ground, her eyes wide as she searched the white snow. "So I'm not dreaming it. I do feel it," she said softly, her voice tinged with recognition.

"No, you're not. Of course you're not," I said, inching closer to me. Regan looked up, but didn't shove me violently away like I expected her to. I expected her to jack me in the face, but she didn't. She didn't even move as I stepped in front of her, wrapping my arms around her. A shaky sigh left her chest as she leaned into my touch. My soft embrace turned firmer as I clung to her. The tugging in my chest that had been persistent over my absence finally stilled.

"I'll never forget this. I'll forgive you Seth….I missed you and I don't want to be without you, but I'll never forget this."

"I understand," I replied softly, staring down into her tear-rimmed green eyes.

"Having you ripped away from me was one thing….but knowing that you willingly left? That's the part that killed me."

"I'm here to stay, Regs. I swear it to you. I know you must want to have me jump off a cliff right now….but I swear I'm here to stay. Forever."

She wiped her eyes and sniffed, a sad yet wry smile on her lips. "Would jumping off a cliff even kill you?"

I returned her smile, shrugging. "Probably not."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I want to hate you, but…"

"But what?"

She sniffed again, looking up at me. "You're so hard to hate Seth, even for a second."

I watched her movements carefully as she fought her logical side and her heart. I could feel the pull in the center of my chest that was inching me towards her, fighting me. I knew she was likely feeling the same thing I was. Our bodies were physically aching to be together again, and I was losing my resolve to give her space. Without wasting another second, I reached out the short distance between us and pulled her to me. She came willingly, her arms moving to embrace me the second I began to move forward.

Finally.

We squeezed each other tight; almost too tight but it felt right.

"I missed you," she whispered against my shirt, sniffling again. Leaning down, I pressed my lips against the top of her head and inhaled. Her familiar cherry almond scent wafted into my nose, calming my frazzled nerves. Regan shivered against me, reminding me that my very human imprint was feeling the cold, unlike me.

"You need to get back inside. It's really cold out here," I said softly. She nodded against my chest, her body flush with mine as she hugged me. "I'll come back in the morning….if you'll let me."

"You will?" she asked hopefully, looking up at me. I nodded.

"Might not be pretty…but…I need to talk to Charlie."

"About?"

I sighed. "You. Me. This imprint thing. If you want me around Regs, I'll be here. I can't….I can't stay away from you anymore. I want to do this right."

"What if he says no?"

"I'm not going to ask. It's more like….politely 'telling'. If you want me to….if you want this," I said, linking my hand with hers. "I'm all in. I always have been, but…if you want us to be together like this from now on, then I'll do it."

"You mean it?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"If you want me to. Are you still mad?"

"I am but…but you telling Charlie…..that helps," she admitted softly. I grinned down at her, nodding.

"Then I'll do it. He might kill me, but….but it would be worth it."

"You really mean it?"

"Yes," I said, bringing her hand up to my mouth. I kissed the back of her hand that was linked with mine, feeling her skin pleasantly burn against my lips. She stared at her hand as I kissed it, her eyes going a little hazy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered against her hand.

She nodded. "I know."

A silence settled between us for a few seconds as we stared at each other, contemplating.

"I'll forgive you Seth….but I'm still mad that you left."

"I know."

She smiled sadly, nodding. "I'm upset with you but….I'm mad at myself too I guess."

"Why?"

Regan paused, licking her lips. "Because I still really love you."

I exhaled sharply, staring down at my imprint with awe. Her heart was still hurt and on its way to forgiving me, but it had never stopped loving me - even when I had let her down. I felt my knees shake slightly with relief.

"I really love you too," I breathed. I watched as another tentative, slightly calmed smile appeared on her face, her cheeks going even pinker. I watched her breath in the night air as it formed white clouds in front of her mouth, the heat of it dawning me in. My entire body felt like it went slack as I felt myself stop fighting the pull. Regan followed suit, leaning closer to me as if we were magnets.

"So where does this leave us?" she finally asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "But I do know that….that I belong to you. If you'll have me."

"What does that even mean?" she snapped back quickly.

"It just means that….that I'm whatever you want me to be. If you want me to be your friend I'll be that. If you want more, then…we'll work on that. If you want me to step in front of a bus, then….I'll work on that too. My point, Regan….is that I would do anything for you. I left, yes, I know….I'm sorry that I left. If I would have been able to see the future and know what it would do, then I would have done anything but that. But I couldn't. And….and honestly, I want whatever you want. I know this is all strange and new to you and you don't understand any of it….but I always be what you need. From now on. I swear."

Regan nodded, looking down at the snow and breaking our we're-about-to-kiss-trance. I felt my heart sink to my feet as she licked her lips and nodded. "You have to prove it to me."

"I know. I will."

We were quiet again, I think both of us just a little relieved that we had somewhat worked through this. I could still feel the waves of anger radiating off of her, but at least there were no more secrets.

"But I'm not crazy….I do belong with you."

"Did you ever think that you didn't?" I asked.

"Honestly? No. But I couldn't figure out why I thought you….why you should be mine. But now it makes sense I guess."

"You're my other half…and I'm yours. It's just….fate got the dates a little off. I'm older, you're younger. But just because we have it a little harder never means that it's not real."

She looked up at me, shivering slightly in the cold. "You mean that?"

"I've meant every word I've said. Now you need to get back inside of you're going to freeze to death and then where would we be?"

"You're right. I'm surprised Charlie hasn't raced out here with his guns blazing yet."

"You think if I come by tomorrow he'll deck me again?"

"You would deserve it," she muttered quietly. I don't think she meant for me to catch that, but I did. And I couldn't help but laugh.

"You heard that?"

"Wolf hearing. And I wouldn't expect anything to get past Edward or Bella either. Vampires have super hearing just like I do."

She sighed, glancing back at the warm house. "So, they really do exist?"

"Yes. Most of them are good though, if that makes you feel any better. And the Cullens….well, they're the closest family I have besides Mom, Charlie, and Leah. Edward is my best friend."

She nodded, biting her lip. "Well, I trust you."

"Good. Now get back in the house. I'll come back tomorrow."

"You will?" she asked, shivering slightly. I stepped forward, pulling her against my body. She shook again, this time with relief from our contact.

"I'll be here. I promise."

The normal joy I felt on Christmas day was squandered a bit when I realized I would have to eventually talk to Charlie. I woke up in the snowy bushes behind Charlie's house, and when I heard Regan still sleeping soundly in the pre-dawn light, I headed home. I needed to shower and gather my wits before going over to tell Charlie the truth.

Walking in the house, I was instantly greeted by the sound of the piano being played in the living room. I wandered in smiling as I spied Bella and Edward on the piano bench together. Edward was playing something melodic and Christmassy on the piano as his wife was practically melting into his side, her golden eyes almost glassy.

I stood in the entry way and listened with appreciation as he continued to play the song, his ivory fingers gliding effortlessly over the matching keys with a fluidity and ease that made my chest hurt a little.

Edward was the type of friend who made you want to become a better person.

His golden eyes flicked up to mine as I mentally chided myself for our bro-mance. I couldn't help it - Edward was my friend and I was eternally grateful to have him in my life. He had taught me more in the decade I had known him than most people learned in all their years of schooling.

When the song ended, he lifted his fingers from the keys with a chagrined look as he scanned my thoughts.

"Not feeling rather Christmassy?"

I shrugged, giving him a half smile as I walked into the bright living room. A tall tree stood in the corner in front of one of the large windows, tastefully decorated floor to ceiling in all white. The lights sparkled against the still-dreary looking morning sky, their twinkling as if a reminder that today was Christmas.

"Not really," I admitted, "I feel like I'm walking to the gallows."

"Why?" Bella asked, glancing over her shoulder at me.

"I'm going to attempt to wiggle my way back into your father's house today….and explain imprinting to him. And why I've been acting like such a jackass."

Bella turned around, her golden eyes sparkling slightly. "Seth, don't be afraid of him. Just….tell him how you would want to be told. At least give him that."

"I don't owe him much after what I've been put through," I responded bitterly.

"Seth", Bella chided, "He thinks Regan is me. I could see it on his face. He's hovering over her because he thinks it's protecting her. Just….let him ease into the idea. You're not like…running off to get married tomorrow, are you?"

"No," I snorted.

"Well, then…"

"I feel like he's going to kill me," I explained. "I'm going to tell him everything. Just lay it out on the table. The big, wolfy table."

Bella cocked her head to the side, giving me a sympathetic gaze with her golden eyes.

"It's just Charlie. He's a softie at heart. Just be honest and up front with him."

Edward pivoted around on the piano bench to face me, giving his wife a skeptical look out of the corner of his eye.

He looked up at me with honest eyes and looked even a little bit frightened.

"What?" I asked.

There was a pregnant pause in the room before Edward spoke. "I don't blame you Seth. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Bella balked slightly, giving her husband a surprised stare. Edward shrugged, looking at her with wide eyes.

"He's going to tell Charlie that he loves Regan and plans to marry her someday. I seem to remember telling Charlie the same thing not so long ago. I may be indestructible, but even that day I felt like he could probably make things challenging were we to go head to head."

"Edward…"

"Remember how we felt about Jacob, even if it was temporarily?"

"But-"

"He was taking away our little girl. Plain and simple. That's how Charlie sees it. The way I see it….it's best to go to him and tell him. Man to man. Or dog," he added with a tiny smirk.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head and Bella, who was giving me an incredulous look.

"You're really going to tell him everything?"

"It's the only way I can think of that will make the next few years of my life be bearable. I tried living without her. It didn't kill me, but I wanted it to. I was miserable without her and I don't want any more of this. No more secrets. I've made a mess of everything by keeping secrets."

"That's not all your fault Seth," Bella said gently. She placed her pale, cold hand on mine and gave me a soft smile. "You can't help what you are."

"I know. I just…I'm tired of the lying. I need to come clean. Regan knows everything, my mom knows everything, and now Charlie needs to. Heck, I've told him what I am. He knows I morph into a giant dog. How much worse can the news get?"

"True," Edward replied, giving me an honest shrug.

"So he needs to know. My feelings for her….my feelings aren't going to change. This isn't some crush that's going to go away. I'm not going to get tired or give up or….or leave again. This time it's for real. I need him to know that. Because….well, I really don't care anymore. I love her, and I'm going to be with her."

"That's beautiful," Bella replied, taking Edward's hand. Her gaze remained locked on mine as she gave me a hopeful nod.

"You should get some rest before you go over there," Edward suggested. I nodded, heaving a sigh.

"You're probably right. I'm gonna go crash for a few hours. What time is it?"

"About three. You have plenty of time. Charlie usually wakes everyone up around eight on Christmas day," Bella said with a warm smile. She stood up, standing beside me as she gave me hopeful gaze.

"You can do this."

I tried to remember Bella's words as I settled into my bed, determined to get at least an hour's worth of sleep before facing Charlie. Well, and Regan. She had somewhat forgiven me, but I could tell I was really going to pay for leaving her - as I should.

Why is everything so clear after the fact? I wondered. I watched the faint light on the ceiling of my bedroom change as it got closer and closer to dawn. Closing my eyes, I secretly hoped I would have another dream like the one I had while I was at Leah's. I called that Regan that 'Older Regan' and caught myself fantasizing about her regularly. I didn't know what that dream had been about, but I hoped for a real life repeat someday. Sleep eventually found me, but all too soon it was time to get up.

I showered and shaved, wanting to look my best to win back not only Regan but Charlie as well. I had to impress him and manage to convince him that I was a good thing for Regan to have in her life - not a bad one. After dressing in a black fleece pullover and some dark jeans, I grabbed my keys and drove over to my mom's house. Sucking in a deep breath, I walked up the steps to the porch and paused a moment, gathering my nerves. I was a shapeshifting wolf. I could phase in a millisecond and tear the forest to the ground without a second thought. I healed in an instant, even from the most horrifying wounds.

So why did Charlie Swan having me shaking in my boots?

I suddenly understood what Edward was talking about. We may be indestructible, yes. However, Charlie was the father figure of the women we loved. That alone was making me nervous. Regan was another story. Sure, she had slightly forgiven me last night, but things always looked different in the light of day. Would she be angry with me again? I knew I deserved it, but I was relieved that she had somewhat accepted me back into her life.

Before I had another moment to contemplate my fate, the front door swung open. Charlie's dark eyebrows pushed together, watching me with wary eyes.

"Seth…you're here."

It was more a statement than anything. I shifted nervously on my feet, nodding.

"Hey Charlie. Yeah, I'm here."

My mom rushed up behind him, bumping him away from the door. "Come in. We're just about to open up presents."

I walked past Charlie, the hairs on my arm standing up on end as I moved into the living room. I had been dreading seeing Charlie for a reason. The tension in the room was so thick I felt like I was going to suffocate.

Regan looked up as I entered, our eyes meeting. She was on the floor beside the tree, sitting with her knees tucked under her as she sat, swimming in wrapping and tissue paper. A small smile graced her features, and that was all I needed. Regan was looked almost relieved to see me, I realized. As if she thought I would disappear overnight. A sharp pang shot through my chest as I realized I was the only cause of her pain.

"Hey," I said softly, taking a seat in one of the recliners.

"Hey," she answered back. I watched as the relief of my arrival slowly disappeared, replaced by chagrin. She was obviously still upset with me, and rightfully so.

"Is it….okay that I'm here?"

"Sure," she said with a shrug. "Bella is going to be here soon, and I kinda wanted you here."

I tried to listen to Regan while listening to the argument Sue and Charlie were clearly having in the kitchen, but she was more important.

"What do you mean? You're not afraid of Bella now, are you?"

"Seth….despite what you said, I mean…she's still….. a you-know-what."

I nodded, leaning forward in the recliner. She stared at me, her eyes instantly going to my mouth. I felt my stomach twist again, hoping she was yearning for me the same way I was her.

"You have nothing to be afraid of. Even if….even if Bella was wanting to make you lunch, and that would never happen, Regan….I'm designed to fight vampires. We wolves kill them - the bad ones, at least. I would never….never let anything happen to you."

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do. I know I left, but….I'm here now, and I'd never let anything touch you. Even if you decide you hate me," I whispered, half keeping track of Charlie hissing to my mother in the kitchen about my being there, "even if you hate me, I'd happily spent the rest of my life phasing so that I could protect you."

"My whole life? But then….then you would be young…and I'd be old."

"You've given this some thought?"

"No," she snapped, frowning down into the tissue paper. "I mean yes. I mean….just answer my question."

"Yes, then I would be like this. I told you Regs, I would stay like this forever if I wanted to. I would never age a day again."

She sucked in a breath, looking back up at me. "So…so I would be old and grey, and you would be…..like you are now?"

"This isn't a very Christmassy conversation, are you sure-"

"Yes! Just….answer me."

"Then yes."

She swallowed, looking down at her hands. "Is there another option?"

"I told you there was. If….if you want me to, I can phase until we….look about the same age. Then I can stop. I'll age with you," I whispered.

"That's your plan?"

"If you want it to be."

We didn't have much more time to discuss our plans for me to age or not age. There was a knock on the door, and soon Edward and Bella were walking in, their arms full of presents. Edward tensed slightly as he walked into the living room, and I could tell that he was testing the mental flavor of it.

"Hey guys. Merry Christmas," I said, purposefully giving Bella a tight hug. I did the same to Edward, looking pointedly at Regan as I did it. Charlie came in and greeted them, my mom even giving Bella a small hug as she took the packages from her and placed them down on the floor by the tree. I looked over at Regan, who was inching toward me in her flannel pajamas. She smiled tightly, her eyes wide and unblinking as she stared at her cousin and her husband.

To me, Bella and Edward didn't look anything like the cold, dead-eyed, stony monsters I had killed in the past, so I had to remind myself what they really were. They had spent so much time remembering their humanity and working to blend in that they did it better than most humans. Their pale skin was like most of the humans in Forks; the sun rarely came out, so being pale wasn't unheard of. Their golden eyes were entirely unique of course, but were at the same time beautiful. Even I had to admit that I had gotten lost in the honey tones of the Cullens' eyes before that I had forgotten they weren't entirely normal. Bella was of course donning her brown contacts today, but Edward's eyes were golden and shining. Their skin was pale but flushed slightly pink with life, and I could only guess that there had been a Christmas hunt to blame.

As Bella moved into the kitchen with Sue to help her, Charlie sat down in his armchair and beckoned for me and Edward to join him. I caught my friend's questioning glance, and I briefly showed him the events of the past few hours in my mind.

So, as you can see….she's a little shaken. She was terrified that you guys would be in the house….I tried to explain…

Edward gave me a small nod, and I could tell his feelings were slightly hurt. He understood though; as peaceful as they were, there was still a stigma with the word 'vampire'.

She'll get over it. She'll get used to you guys and see how wonderful you are. She's my imprint….of course she'll grow to love you all. I remember being a little scared at first, but….I gave you a chance and I'm not sorry I did. She'll come around.

Edward smirked, and I knew he had heard me.

I guess I get to go apologize to Charlie now….and try to explain my creepy obsession with his niece.

Edward looked up as I left, his eyes giving me a hopeful glance as I walked into the kitchen. I heard Regan's heart start pounding as I walked away, and I smiled to myself. She should be about as scared of Edward Cullen as she should a kitten. Before leaving the room, I turned to glance at her over my shoulder.

"You're fine," I mouthed.

She nodded from the floor, fidgeting with the tissue paper around her. I walked into the kitchen, greeted by Bella, my mom, and a confused looking Charlie.

"Can we talk? Man to man?" I asked quickly, before I lost my nerve.

Charlie nodded from his place at the kitchen counter, his eyes moving after Sue and Bella as they left. I sat down at the table across from him, waiting for him to speak.

If there was ever an Olympic medal given for making someone else cave and talk first, it would go to Charlie Swan.

"So," I started.

"How's that jaw?" he asked, a gleam in his eye. I swallowed, biting back a comment.

"It's fine. I heal fast. Listen, Charlie….I'm sorry about the way things happened."

Silence.

His brown eyes bore across the rickety table, the deep brown color almost black, like apparently his soul was. I tried to ignore the bile rising in my throat and speak again.

"I'm sorry about going behind your back with Regan. But you can understand why?"

"I think I have an inkling as to why you were acting that way, yes. Did it have anything to do with you dating my high school aged niece?"

"Charlie….I love her. I really do. And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not getting any older."

He looked at me skeptically. "What do you mean?"

"This….thing, this wolfy thing that we do…it makes us not age. And it also…gives us a shortcut to finding the person we're supposed to be with."

"Cut to the chase son. I have a low tolerance for fairy-tale bullshit."

I blanched at his words, unable to speak. "This isn't bull, Charlie. Not by a long shot. I don't age for a reason."

He stared at me, his eyes searching. Recognition. Did he believe it?

"You do look….young."

"You see it now, don't you? I don't look like I'm almost thirty do I?"

He frowned again, his dark eyes searching my face. I heard the floor near the doorway creak and my mom stepped inside.

"Charlie…what he's saying is true."

He looked over at her with surprise, his heart beating a little faster. I knew Regan wouldn't be happy that I had left her alone with Edward and Bella, but I knew she would be safe so I stayed put. This was important.

"You know about this?"

"I knew it the second I saw him….after he laid eyes on her. It was about a week after she got here."

Charlie looked like we had just dropped a bomb on his house. His eyes were wide and his heart was beating erratically.

"Too much," he muttered, glancing out the window. "How do I know you won't hurt her? How safe can….can you be with all this?"

"I'd die before I hurt her. The imprint….this, thing Charlie….it's shown me a shortcut to my soul mate. I'll always love her, and….and I think she loves me too. I'll never leave her, or do something to her that would make her unhappy. It's in my genes; what makes her happy makes me happy."

"He's telling the truth, Charlie. It's in our legends. This has been happening since our people first began. You can't fight fate - Seth is telling you because he respects you. It's time you respected his wishes too."

Charlie was quiet for a moment, visibly debating what to say. I could tell I was pushing his 'weird' threshold, but I wanted everything to be on the table. I wanted there to be no secrets.

"Can you accept this?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Like she said…I'm telling you this to be a man and put all my cards on the table, Charlie. This isn't going to go away. She's my future; she has been since the day I met her. I'm not getting any older; she is. I'll continue to phase and not age until she looks about the same as I do. Then, I'll retire and we'll age together."

"And if she doesn't want that?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, balking at that possibility. It was on every imprinted wolf's mind - the fact that his imprint might not want him the way he wanted her. However, we would have no choice but to respect her wishes and be there for her as she needed us.

"That's her decision. But if she wants me….I can't stay away from her Charlie. It's physically impossible. I just….things will only get worse for her; and for me. Do you want that?"

He thought another moment, his eyes darting up to my mother's. "Believe him," she said softly, squeezing his shoulder.

"Alright. I get it. You're…her soul mate. But she's still in high school, and you're a town police officer. Can I….at least request we keep the real heavy stuff….to a minimum…at least until she graduates?"

"Of course, Charlie. I can definitely do that."

"Then….you wouldn't…push her into-"

"-No! No, um….we're not in a hurry."

My cheeks burned at my tiny white lie, but I figured Charlie had enough to deal with for one day. My mom squeezed his shoulder again as I nodded at him.

"Thank you Charlie. I'll respect whatever rules you put down, just remember though, please….I'm in love with her. And….I'm pretty sure she loves me too. I just want her to be happy. You got your second chance with my mom. Leah got her chance with Scott, and your daughter with Edward….don't you think it's my turn?"

He pressed his lips together, watching me carefully. He grunted, his eyebrows un-furrowing. It wasn't an answer, but it wasn't a bad answer either.

We eventually got up and went back into the living room. I had been so involved in what was going on with my mom and Charlie in the kitchen that I hadn't realized Jacob and Nessie had arrived. I smiled instantly, hugging my Alpha's imprint as she beamed up at me. She pressed her hand against my arm and silently communicated with me.

Everything go okay? Charlie's heart sped up so fast I thought he was going to pass out!

I smiled and nodded at her, taking a seat on the couch next to Jacob. He glanced over at me with a questioning gaze, and I knew we would be having quite the chat later.

My mom doled out instructions to go through the food line, which of course was a buffet style. Jacob and I usually were responsible for pigging out and causing a commotion so that it would take the attention away from the fact that Bella and Edward never ate. Renesmee even did her share, loudly complimenting my mom on her Christmas cookies. I watched as Renesmee sat on the floor next to Regan, giving her a warm smile as she chatted her up. Regan seemed more relaxed now, and I was glad. Renesmee had a way of making other people like her, and I had always wondered if that was a special gift of hers.

We all ate in the dining room as gifts were passed around. I discreetly tossed Renesmee the small box from my pocket that I had been dying to give to Regan for days. She caught it and gave me a wink, placing it in front of Regan. Regan gave her a questioning look, and Ness simply nodded her head towards me. I grinned at her, motioning for her to open it. Regan looked over at Charlie, who was busy fiddling with a new gadget that Bella was helping him with.

I watched through all the talking and bustle as Regan opened the small box, gasping audibly as she laid eyes on the diamond flower pendant. She stared down at it, her eyes wide.

"That's from Seth," Renesmee giggled, nudging her with her elbow. Regan nodded, still wide eyed as she stared at it. I wondered if a guy had ever given her jewelry before; by the look on her face, I would have to guess no. "It's so pretty," she added.

"I know….oh my gosh, it's gorgeous," Regan replied. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, pleased that I had given it to her. At the time, it seemed a bit extravagant, but now it was clearly perfect. It was symbolic; we were starting over but as something different this time.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After the gifts had been opened and desert had been consumed, I looked around and realized that Regan had slipped out. Frowning, I looked at Edward.

Where did she go? She must have slipped off while I was stuffing my face with pie, I thought sheepishly. Edward nodded towards the stairs, and I quietly ducked out.

I walked upstairs to Regan's room, giving soft tap on the door. She muttered for me to come in, and I opened the door to see her standing in her room with a book in her hand.

"What's that?"

"Stupid book," she grumbled, tossing it on her bed. Biting back a chuckle, I moved to her bed and picked it up, reading the cover.

"The Vampire Diaries?"

She shrugged. "Well….it was something I used to read a few years ago. Stupid, right?"

I laughed, turning the teen novel over in my hands. "What's it about?"

"Vampires, apparently. I think the author got a few facts wrong."

"I bet," I nodded, tossing it back down. Regan looked at me sadly, biting her lip.

"You're upset."

She nodded.

"Still mad at me?"

Another nod.

"Is it something else to?"

"Will I ever see Lexi again?"

"Oh," I nodded. "That's what this is about."

"I'm still upset with you. But….diamonds do help. Thank you," she said softly, picking up the black velvet box from her dresser. "Will you put it on me?"

"Of course," I replied, taking it from her hand. Our skin touched briefly - too briefly- and I felt myself shudder. She pulled her hair to the side, exposing the pale skin of her neck. I stared at it, wanting to run my lips across it, maybe taste it.

Patience. You're being forgiven, but…slowly. I would just have to wait. I fastened it around her neck, stepping back before I did something stupid that would just make her more angry. I couldn't help it though - my body felt alive standing next to her, and I know she felt the same way.

She walked over to her dresser, studying the way it fell against her collar bone. "It's beautiful. Where did you get it?"

"Seattle."

She looked at me in the mirror, her gaze piercing. "Is that where you were?"

"Yeah…I just crashed with Leah for a few days."

"Oh," she said softly, looking down. "Was I that bad that you had to run from me?"

I walked up behind her, still looking at her in the mirror as I placed my hands on her shoulders. "I didn't do it to get away from you. I did it to get away from myself. And it is something I will never do….ever again."

"I believe you….for some strange reason. My mind is telling me not to, but…there's this pull in my chest that only lets up when I'm with you. So I know that….I know that you won't leave. It almost suffocated me while you were gone, the pull. Did you feel it?"

"Of course I did. I do every time I leave. That's why I'm never doing it again. She sighed, staring up at me in the reflection.

"Kids! Everyone is leaving! Come say bye!"

My mom's voice rang up the stairs, bringing us back to reality. I followed her out, walking with her down the steps. As I said my goodbyes to Jake and Ness, I watched as Regan made her way over to the couch by the Christmas tree. My mom tugged at Charlie's arm, trying to get him to go upstairs to bed. I was silently thankful that at least my mom was still on my side. Charlie gave us one more stern look before allowing my mom to push him up the steps. I turned to Regan once they were gone, finding myself slightly nervous at the idea of being alone with her again.

"Can I sit next to you?"

It felt like a stupid question, but one that I felt I needed to ask after everything that had happened. She nodded, scooting over on the couch so that I could find my place beside her. I settled in close, but not too close, as she propped her feet up on the coffee table. Another light snow began to fall outside, and I felt angry with myself. If I hadn't left and Regan wasn't so pissed me, this would be perfect. A dim room, the lights of the Christmas tree, a late night snow….it was romance at its best.

Too bad I had acted like a jackass and screwed it up.

I turned my head against the back of the couch to look at her. She was staring at the tree, her eyes glazed.

"What are you thinking about?"

She swallowed, looking at me with slightly wide eyes. "Everything I thought I knew….changed overnight. Again. I didn't think it could get weirder than you turning into a giant wolf. I mean…at least I got used to that. But now to know that….that things I've read about in books….vampires…they exist? It shakes you."

"I know," I said with a nod.

"And to find out that I'm your….what's it called?"

"Imprint."

"Right….well….it's a little bit much."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault….right?"

"No," I snorted. "Genetics are what I blame."

Regan nodded, turning her gaze back to the Christmas tree in front of us. "I suppose I'll get used to it. Especially since I trust the pack and….and you guys. And the Cullens are…are good, right?"

"Of course. Would it help if I said that they're better than most humans I've met?"

"I guess. So….do they slip? Ever?"

I shrugged. "I'm sure they have before. A long time ago….but not since you or I have been around."

"They don't age?"

"No," I said sadly. "Never. The way they look now is how they've always looked. How they will always look."

"Weird," she said under her breath. I laughed, turning to look at her.

"No, it's….it's weird at first to think about, but once you get used to it you never think about history the same way ever again. Carlisle has been alive so long he's not even sure his real technical age. Edward, I mean….he's told me all kinds of awesome stories. He was there at the Chicago World's Fair. It's weird but…but kind of amazing too."

"You seem to really be fascinated by this."

"It's hard not to be. The concept of immortality is a sad one, but….but also has its perks. I guess I'm glad you brought it up…I wanted to talk to you about Lexi."

Regan looked over at me, her eyes suddenly hopeful. "Yeah? Have you seen her since she…."

"Changed? Yes. She's….kinda staying at my house."

"What?"

"Yeah…."

"Well…can I visit her? Or is she still…like, changing?"

"No, no, she's fine. The change only takes two, three days at the most. She's done. She's a….well, you know. But Regan, please promise me you'll be careful. Lexi isn't herself right now. When people change into vampires, it makes their humanity temporarily disappear. They have to want to find themselves again. Edward explained it all to me - she's doing well though."

"Are….are you in danger around her?"

"No," I said with a laugh. "To her, I smell like a wet dog. Not exactly appetizing from what I understand. I'm not in danger. If I had to, I could fight her off without hurting her, and the Cullens would help - they don't want anyone to get hurt. She's…she's what they call a newborn, so she's very strong."

"Oh," Regan replied sadly.

"That's not forever though….she'll eventually calm down enough that you can be friends again. She's a vampire now, but she's still Lexi."

"That makes me feel better," Regan replied, sinking further into the couch. I looked over, watching her profile against the background of the Christmas tree.

"I'm sorry this is all so weird."

She turned her head to look at me, her eyes somewhat sad. "You didn't choose this."

"True. But I dragged you into it."

"True. But…."

"What?" I prodded.

"Even though I'm upset with you….I'm glad I even have you to be upset with. Does that make sense?"

"Kinda sorta not," I chuckled.

"I just think about what my life could have been, and I guess I just am glad I'm here in the first place. Sometimes I'm mad at you and I want to scream and cry and throw things…but I don't remember feeling this much before you."

"Really?"

"Yeah…I mean, I feel bad sometimes….like when you left, and when Charlie caught us….but isn't feeling horrible sometimes better than feeling nothing at all?"

My breath caught in my throat at her sentiments. She was completely right; before her, I had been drifting through life almost numb. But now, with Regan I felt alive. I felt something finally. Even if I did feel miserable at times because things weren't going as well as I wanted them to, I still had her. I still had something to show for it.

I never wanted to go back to the way things were before her.

Before her, there was nothing.

"I get it," I muttered softly. I continued to stare at her profile, consumed by the way her eyelashes touched her cheeks when she blinked. When did she start to look so much older? I knew it was gradual, but lately she looked more and more like the girl in my beach dream. Mrs. Clearwater.

"I'm glad I'm not crazy though. I'm glad this draw…this pull….wasn't all in my head. That it was real. Sometimes you don't feel real."

"I am though. I know this is all strange and new and really weird, but…..I'm still here. I always will be. Sadly, whether you want me to or not," I snorted.

She smiled, breaking her serious face. "What happens now?"

I swallowed. "Nothing. Not if….if you don't want it to. Life goes back to normal. I'll be around….you'll go back to high school. I'll go back to work. Life goes on, I suppose."

"What about this imprint thing?"

"What about it?"

"What will it change?"

"Nothing, if you don't want it to."

"You'll still phase?"

"For awhile. Then….then after awhile no. I'll just retire."

"Won't you age? And…die?"

I chuckled. "It won't happen tomorrow, Regs."

"Right, but….but you'll age?"

"Yup. And die someday."

"Why wouldn't you phase forever?"

I paused, my mouth suddenly dry as I let the harrowing thought cross my mind. If Regan rejected me and only wanted to be friends, or acquaintances even, I would of course respect it. I would do what made her happy. But what would be the point of phasing? Of living forever?

Without Regan, I would want to die anyway. Maybe not right away, but….eventually. I could see it now; I would live my life as a hermit, content to be my imprint's friend. It was a horrible thought, but I would do it.

For her.

"What would be the point of living?"

She stared at me, my calm yet honest answer shaking her.

"You mean that?"

I nodded slowly, a little uneasy. No, I thought. She needs to know the truth. She needs to know all of the options.

"That's if I chose to…not chose you, right?"

"Right," I replied, trying not to let my voice shake.

"And what happens if I do? What happens then?"

"If you….if you decide you do want to be with me someday?"

"Yes."

I swallowed again, suddenly queasy. This was a much deeper conversation than I thought we would be having.

"If you want to be with me, then we'll take it slow."

"Like….after high school? Is that what most….imprinters too?" she asked.

"Yeah. Usually, the um….shift in the relationship happens about now. I guess it depends on their ages, but….once the relationship shifts, it's not really a matter of how, just….when."

"Oh."

She was quiet a moment, turning her head to gaze at the lights of the Christmas tree in Charlie's dim living room. I watched her profile again, absolutely obsessed with how beautiful she was.

If she didn't want me, it would surely kill me anyway.

"You know what's funny?"

"What?"

She reached over, taking my hand. I wove my fingers with hers, my heart blooming with warmth at her touch. She blushed slightly, pressing her lips together as her eyes flicked up to meet mine.

"As angry as I am, I still can't picture life without you. I wouldn't want that, Seth. I'd rather have you and be angry with you than….than have you disappear."

"I'm not going to disappear."

She frowned, leaning forward on the couch. Her warm skin sizzled against mine as she glanced down at our interlocked hands. "You have to make me believe that."

"I've got nothing but time," I answered honestly.

"Good. Because it will take time," she said softly. Her eyes rose up to meet mine, her gaze piercing. "You hurt me, Seth. You hurt me more than anyone ever has, and that's saying a lot. I'll forgive you because….well, you're worth it, and none of the others ever were. But…..don't make me forgive you again."

"I won't," I promised, my heart starting to pound in my chest. I tried to wet my throat to speak longer than one or two words, but my body wouldn't cooperate.

Was she finally accepting me into her life for good? Did my whole future rely on her next words?

She stared at me, her green eyes seeing more than I wanted. With her one gaze, I felt like she could see everything; the loneliness before meeting her, the shame I felt for leaving her, the warmth my heart felt for her…it was daunting to be that vulnerable.

I leaned forward, my body coming in close proximity with hers for only the second time since I had returned. Her heart began to pound as the couch cushion squeaked underneath me. I raised my free hand up to touch her cheek, reveling in the way she leaned against my touch.

"If you give me another chance…..I'll love you enough that it will fix everything."

"Everything?"

"Nothing else will matter. I'll show you. I….I promise."

"Don't make promises you don't intent to keep."

"Never do."

"Good."

With her last words, I pulled her towards me. She obliged, leaning forward at the same moment to let our lips crash together. The kiss was desperate and needy at first, then slower, calmer as we got ourselves together. She kissed me deeply, her mouth seeming to rejoice against mine. My lips sizzled pleasantly against hers as they moved in perfect synch. We broke apart breathless, our eyes locking.

"Wow," she muttered. "So that's not just my imagination, huh?"

"No one will ever kiss you like that. I can't give you much, but I can give you that."

"I know."


	48. Chapter 48

Regan

Before I knew it, it was New Year's Eve.

I had spent the last week casually easing back into normal life and back into Regan's life. Charlie wasn't happy that I was back, but at least he didn't voice it. After our make out session on the couch Christmas Eve, I had gone home hot and bothered but I gladly accepted it. I would take hot and bothered with a side of blue balls over alone and miserable any day.

I had her back.

Sure, I wasn't sure in what capacity I had her back, but I would take what I could get.

Regan slowly began speaking to me more and more, and unfortunately, the kiss in front of the Christmas Tree was a bit of a one-time thing. It wasn't that she was cold to me - she really wasn't. However, she stuck to her guns and didn't come running right back into my waiting arms either. It wasn't for lack of trying on my part; I did everything I could to get back into her good graces. However, I had to admire my imprint sticking by her guns and not forgetting about my lapse in judgment.

She meant what she said.

And now that I think about it, that's pretty sexy.

And strong.

And sexy.

And….my resolve to keep my hands off her was definitely wavering.

Like Jake always said…you can't go backwards with an imprint relationship.

You can't go from friends to lovers and back to friends.

Regan slowly allowed me back into her life, but she drew the line when it came to the romantic and physical parts of our relationship. It was like we were friends again. Best friends, but strictly friends. I hadn't tried anything really forward with her after Christmas Eve; I figured it was best to back off and just give her some space. I had asked Edward for some help with her thoughts but Bella had forbidden it, claiming it was in invasion of a young girl's privacy. I had given up after that, telling myself I had better just thank my lucky stars she was speaking to me and worry about the rest of the mess later.

Charlie was another story.

Charlie allowed me back onto his good side after a few days, but there was something else there…something looming in the back of his mind and I could sense it.

"So you're back for good this time?" he asked me a few days later. We were seated in the Forks diner, having some morning coffee. Neither one of us could manage to brew a decent cup of coffee to save our lives, so we had opted for the diner instead. We sat across from each other in a booth, both of us struggling to make conversation.

Regan had been a cakewalk compared to Charlie. She was drawn to me as my imprint. Charlie on the other hand….well, I still couldn't help but feel like he wanted my balls presented on a silver platter.

"Yup."

"For good?

"For good," I said quietly. "I can't be away from her Charlie."

His dark eyes flashed a bit, but he remained quiet. He took a sip of his coffee, setting it down on the table with a soft 'clink'.

"This is a lot to handle."

"I realize that, but…with all due respect Charlie, it doesn't make a difference. I love her and I'm not going anywhere."

He swallowed, his eyebrows furrowing together. "You love her, huh?"

I nodded.

Silence.

"I was so crazy about Bella's mother when I met her. Her dad couldn't keep me away for nothing. Even threatened me with a shotgun when he found us rather compromised on his porch."

My eyebrows shot up as I listened. It wasn't like Charlie to reminisce.

"I get it," he said quietly. His eyes moved up to meet mine. "I get it, Seth."

"You do?"

He nodded again. "You're just a kid. So is she. Things are bound to get….out of hand. I remember how that was. Doesn't mean I'm still not concerned about it."

"Charlie…"

"Why didn't you take that job in Seattle? I know they must have offered you everything but the kitchen sink to move up there and work."

"None of that matters, Charlie. I told you - nothing matters but her. When I…when I saw her, it was like….everything else just went away. It….it's like meeting your soul mate, but more than that. Can you understand that?"

He paused, but then eventually gave me a short nod.

"Then let me be what she needs me to be, and accept it. I'd rather step in front of a bus than hurt her again."

He sighed, taking another short sip.

"Well, I'm glad we got that sorted out, because if you left again son….I'd be the one throwing ya in front of it."

And just like that, I was back in Charlie's good graces.

As I stepped out of the shower later that night, I thought back to last year at the same time. It felt like yesterday when I had to watch Regan kiss Zeke. I had to remember it wasn't his fault - it had been Emmett being stupid and pushy, eager as ever to embarrass someone. I had to try to remember not to hate my young pack mate for kissing my imprint, but it was all part of the game up until now. Things were so different now that it was incredible.

It gave me hope for the future.

Where would I be in a year?

I knew from Quil who had heard from Claire that Regan did in fact catch a cold from the other night, but was still coming to the party, sick or not. I had practically done cartwheels at that news. I felt like my time with Regan had been so pathetically chaperoned by either Sue or Charlie the past week that any alone time we could get would be welcomed.

I should probably spend it groveling at her feet.

I dressed in sweats and sprawled out on the couch. I really just wanted to stay out of the way and let the Cullens flit about the house, getting ready for the party. I couldn't help but feel happy to have them around once more. They were almost unreal to me, even after all these years. When Esme walked up to me and gave me a hug Christmas Day, Edward laughed when I thought about how beautiful she still looked frozen at age twenty six. When they had been away, I had half expected them to age in the back of my mind, and he had taken great amusement in that thought. The Cullens were my friends and companions, and I owed a lot to Edward - I needed to remember to thank him.

"So does Regan still hate you?"

I looked up, noticing Lexi standing soundlessly in the doorway.

"Not as much as she should."

She smirked slightly, her kind features betrayed by her now amber eyes. The blood red color of her newborn irises had been steadily fading, and her eyes were now reflecting her diet. I knew she struggled with hunting only animals, as any newborn vampire would.

"Good. Regan always did know how to stick it to people."

I snorted. "You talk about her like you'll never see her again Lex."

She paused, her movements still quite jerky. "I know, but….look at me Seth. I'm a hot mess. I….I think I'm going away for awhile."

"What?" I asked, sitting up. She nodded.

"Yeah. I just….need to get away from all this. Learn how to be….me, again….I guess."

"Going away won't fix anything Lexi."

"You did it," she pointed out. I felt a pang of remorse in my chest. Not only had I hurt my imprint, but I had been a poor example for one of her best friends who was also suffering. I shook my head at her, jumping up.

"No, Lex, that's where you're wrong, I….leaving was a horrible thing to do….Brady…"

Lexi threw up her hands, shaking her head at me. "Brady wants nothing to do with me, okay? I'm….I'm fine with that, whatever. I'll get over it. I'm disgusting to him now. I need to do this to find peace with myself…with what I am. I need to go away to learn how to be a….a…."

"A vampire?"

She pressed her lisp together, a pained look crossing her features. "Yes."

I nodded. "Don't stay gone too long. Work on that restraint - Regan misses you."

A look of hope crossed Lexi's face as I spoke. "She does?"

"Of course. You were one of her best friends. I told her about you."

"Is….was she afraid?"

"Yes. But she was afraid of me too…at first. You have to give her a chance to get used to this. She's my imprint - she's obviously good with weird. She'll get used to this Lexi, and you can be friends again."

"Until she dies," she said softly. I glanced up at her, noticing the sad look in her eyes.

"You're right. She will eventually die - I will too. A lot of people will. But is that any reason to distance yourself from them permanently?"

"I guess you're right….I just….this is a lot of why I'm leaving. I need to sort things out and….and find myself again. Before I let other people in, I need to know that I know myself first. Friends and…other people," she added softly.

I sighed, giving her a shrug. "Do what you have to. Just don't stay gone too long, okay?

"Right," she said softly, her voice cracking. I watched as she smoothed down her silvery blonde hair, trying to remain composed.

"So when are you leaving?"

"I planned to run…I want to be there in Denali by tomorrow. That's when Tanya is expecting me. New year….new Lexi?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders.

I smiled, giving her a thumbs up. "When you get it together, come back and visit. I know Regan misses you a lot. By then, she'll be used to….all of this," I laughed, gesturing around me. She laughed and nodded, holding out her arms.

"Can I have a goodbye hug?"

"Of course."

I stepped forward, gently embracing my friend. Lexi inhaled lightly as she embraced me, using what I'm sure was only a fraction of her newborn strength.

"Still smell bad to you?" I asked as we pulled apart.

She shrugged, her eyes unreadable as she stepped back. "You don't smell….bad. It's weird. You don't smell like food, but….you don't smell bad," she admitted.

"Goodbye Lexi. Come back to us."

"I'll try," she said softly. She gave me one last wave before disappearing. I stared off into space as I listened to Lexi leave the main house, darting almost soundlessly towards Edward and Bella's cabin. It was far enough away that all of our guests would be safe from her newborn tenancies, and she wouldn't be tempted to indulge in any party guests. I knew she was making progress, but none of us wanted to take any chances - especially Lexi.

"Seth," Esme sang as she floated into the living room.

"Esme," I playfully sang back. She gave me her slightly mischievous, motherly grin and picked up my hand with her icy one.

"Alice has bought you some clothes, I laid them out on your bed…it's time to get ready!" she said excitedly. Reaching out, she patted my arm in a motherly fashion . "You've very handsome, and I know Regan loves you as much as we do. You're such a nice young man Seth."

"Esme…"

"Just get dressed….ignore me," she laughed lightly, giving me another pat on the arm.

"If I ever get half as much thrill from anything that you do from buying clothes and dressing other people, I will die a happy wolf," I laughed, letting her pull me up. She rolled her eyes at me and gave me a gentle swat on the arm, shooing me upstairs to get ready.

As I dressed, I tried to clear my head and remember to act like a friend; a gentleman; and most importantly, whatever Regan needed. That last part was much easier said than done, however. Leaving had been one of the worst things I could have done to my relationship with Regan at the time. I knew that I needed to rely on my control now more than ever and let her come to me. She needed space and time. And unfortunately, both of those things sucked if you were me.

I knew I needed to respect her decision to stay angry with me. I wanted her to be angry with me - I deserved it.

But it still kinda blew.

As a wolf, you knew if you wronged your imprint that you deserved to suffer whatever wrath she doled out. However, my genetic makeup wanted to be near her, hold her kiss her…..it didn't take punishment well. I guess you could say I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

Was it strange that I wanted to skip the party and just hang out with Regan instead? None of this seemed worth it. The tags on my clothes all said 'Prada' and had ridiculous numbers on them, and I could only hope she had used some sort of coupon. I stared into the mirror as I struggled to tie my tie. Would it be all right to at least kiss her at midnight? That wasn't bad, right? Just one kiss? I shook my head at myself as I rinsed with mouthwash and spit. I was such a girl sometimes I made myself sick.

I sat on the couch for awhile after I finished dressing, fidgeting as I watched Alice dash around the house, hanging sparkly streamers, arranging balloons, tossing glittery confetti on the table tops. She lit the silver candles that were everywhere, casting a glow over the entire living room.

"Silver and white," she said to me. I snapped back to attention and looked up at her from where she was hanging a crystal chandelier in the center of the room. Where had that come from?

"Silver and white. That's my theme. Winter wonderland? You were staring at the centerpiece looking awfully concerned," she laughed.

I gave her an embarrassed smile. "Sorry Alice…I was uh…deep in thought. Everything looks really great. No one is going to believe I really live here," I laughed nervously.

Rosalie snorted from where she was arranging food on a long table near the kitchen.

"They'll believe it when they smell the puppy stench," she replied, giving me a coy smile. I grinned at her, knowing that that was Rosalie's form of playfulness.

Before I knew it, the guests had begun to arrive. My brothers started to arrive with their imprints or girlfriends, their non-pack friends, and some friends of friends. Everyone wanted to come to my house for the party, which was fine with me. I could have cared less about anyone but Regan.

She arrived with Claire, Quil having picked them up. Something about wanting to get ready together, he had informed me earlier. I had rolled my eyes at that but when I saw her…I understood.

If she did have a cold, I couldn't tell because she looked fucking radiant.

Regan walked into the house, her eyes wide at all the decorations that Alice had put up. Her hair was perfectly curled, hanging down beside her face, but with one side swept up and pinned with a sparkly clip behind her ear. The way her graceful neck and collar bone were exposed gave me chills. She had on more makeup than she usually did, but as usual, it looked perfect on her small, round face. Her dress was short and black, and most importantly, strapless. For once, I noticed she actually had on high heels, which she never wore since breaking her ankle. I realized that seeing her in shoes like that sent a thrill through me that should be illegal. She looked amazing and I knew that I was going to have to fight tooth and nail to stay away from her all night.

"You look very dapper," Alice muttered from several feet away where she was refilling the punch. I knew that she had said that so low that only wolf and vampire ears could hear, and I smiled at my friend. She knew I was nervous, and I knew she could see what Regan would do tonight, even if it was clouded due to my wolf status. Could I even hope?

"Thank you," I mouthed back to her. "Can you see what is going to happen?" I whispered.

"I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you." She gave me a charming little smile and began arranging crackers on her cheese platter into an intricate pattern.

I had planned to keep my distance from Regan at first, letting her make her rounds to talk and chat with her friends as there were a lot of students from the high school there, but she had the opposite idea. I was standing near the kitchen, nervously trying to talk to Qui when she spotted me for the first time that night. Regan seemed to be drawn to me like a magnet, walking right up next to me with her green eyes wide.

"Seth!" she exclaimed, a smile breaking onto her lovely face. "You look amazing!' she gasped, looking me up and down.

I gave her my best smile and nervously jammed my hands in my pockets. "Yeah, I can clean up alright," I sheepishly admitted. Then she did something she had never done in front of people before.

She reached out, grabbed my wrist, pulling it from my pants pocket, and wound her fingers into mine. Then, she squeezed gently but firmly, and I felt like I had just stuck my finger in a light socket, minus the pain. A jolt of the most glorious feeling electricity surged through my body, making every hair stand on end.

"Hey Seth!"

I cringed as Regan balked and dropped my hand in surprise at the loud, booming voice that was approaching us. Emmett wove his way through the crowd, people subconsciously moving to avoid him as he walked up to us with a huge grin. I almost laughed when Regan shrunk back a little, almost ducking behind me as he approached. It was funny how even though Emmett looked human and acted human, most people usually knew somehow or another to keep their distance from him. Now that she knew the truth, I couldn't help but wonder how she would react.

"As usual, my sister managed to make your house look somewhat cool," he laughed. "Hey Regan."

She gulped, her eyes widening as he spoke directly to her. "Oh, um…hey Emmett. Nice to uh…see you."

I smiled to myself as Regan's hand snaked out and grabbed mine once again. Emmett didn't seem to notice as he beamed brightly and glanced around the crowded kitchen.

"Nice to see you too. Looks like old Seth here finally filled you in on the secret."

"Yes, yes, and it's very safe with me," she replied quickly, her grip on my palm tightening. "Very…uh…safe. I would never tell," she jabbered as her palm turned sweaty against mine.

He smirked at her, flashing his white, razor sharp teeth. "No worries girl, your boyfriend and I fight for the same team. Aka, team herbivore as we like to call ourselves. I haven't indulged since the forties," he spouted off, nodding casually. I had to snort at Emmett; he talked about abstaining from drinking human blood like most people would talk about skipping carbs.

Regan nodded, her eyes still a little wide as she took in Emmett's words. I caught her glancing up at me and I smiled and gave her an encouraging nod. Emmett's goal was just trying to make light of the situation, not scare her. I knew my friend would help me warm my imprint up to the whole 'supernatural thing', so I stayed put and let him talk as the rest of my guests arrived. I felt her relax through the conversation, but she was still starting at him with wide eyes the entire time. I almost laughed at how intimidated she looked.

As the party wore on, Regan left my side several times to talk with Claire and their other friends that had shown up, laughing and taking pictures with them as I tried not to stare. She looked so pretty in her black sparkly party dress, and it reminded me of her Junior prom last year when I was forced to watch from the bushes. I had been so sad that night that I couldn't be there with her because I was a mutant freak…but this kind of made up for it. Sure, there was no real dancing, I couldn't get us a limo, or a pretty corsage for her or anything like that, but…this was nice too. Seeing her all dressed up in a pretty party dress, her hair and makeup done…I could at least pretend that some of it was for me, right?

I spent all night pretending not to stare at her and wondering what was going to happen at midnight. I was determined to at least try to get a kiss from her, cold or no cold, if I could help it. I knew it was silly, but I couldn't help but feel like last year hadn't been our year, and part of that was the fact that she had begun last year by kissing Zeke and not me. Like I said…I was so much like a girl sometimes I wanted to smack myself, but imprinting made me do and feel some pretty stupid things.

"Did you eat anything yet?" I asked her protectively when she came around me the next time. I cringed inwardly for sounding so fatherly when talking to her, but she didn't seem to notice.

"No, I've just had water. I don't really feel all that great," she admitted, looking at all of the food sadly.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I asked a little too quickly. She gave me a half smile, wiping her nose with a tissue.

"No, I want to at least stay til midnight," she said. "Don't we just half like another half hour?"

I glanced at the clock on the wall, nodding. "Yeah, little less than that. Are you sure? I can always drive you home," I said.

"No, no, it's fine. I want to stay here with you," she said casually.

"Really?" I asked excitedly, leaning on the countertop in front of me. She smiled shyly, looking around to make sure no one was watching.

"Yeah," she smiled, her green eyes sparkling. I could have sworn I saw her smile to herself, but then again, I was imagining a lot of things these days.

When midnight finally did come around, we were all gathered in the huge living room, doing a countdown with the picture of Times Square on the flat screen tv in front of us. When we hit zero, everyone cheered and threw confetti all over my house, talking and laughing happily. I watched as my pack brothers and vampire friends all kissed their mates, some more passionately than others. I glanced hopefully at Regan as she and Claire hugged each other happily, talking excitedly about their new year's resolutions.

I needed to make my move.

Quil ran up and scooped Claire into a huge hug, pressing a deep kiss on her lips to her surprise. Claire squeaked in shock, her body going rigid as Quil kissed her passionately. He pulled away and waggled his eyebrows at me. "Better find someone to kiss, Clearwater. It's bad luck not to," he said rather pointedly to me. I rolled my eyes and caught Regan's gaze and a deep blush rose in her cheeks.

She cleared her throat over the noise around us and giggled a little nervously. "Well, you are the closest person to me, I guess," she said, stepping closer to me. I froze, unable to believe my luck!

"Seth," she finally said. "I'm gonna need you to actually move," she laughed. I blinked again, realized that I was once again acting like a complete dork just because she wanted to give me a kiss.

"Oh, yeah, shoot, sorry!" I laughed, bending down. She placed her hands on my chest as she tilted her head up and closed her eyes slightly. It was like I was watching this happen in slow motion as I bent down and pressed my lips against hers. They were so soft and warm, and coated with something shiny and peppermint tasting. My lips slid delightfully against hers as our brief 'Happy New Year' kiss turned into something a little more lingering. When our first kiss ended, I wasn't ready for it to be quite over just yet, so I pressed my lips against hers again…and again…

She pulled away from me finally, her eyes wide and her cheeks a deep crimson. I could hear her heart beat thrumming wildly and I smiled with the satisfaction that I had done that to her. I heard a few appreciative 'whoops' from my pack mates scattered around the large room, but for the most part, people weren't paying attention to us.

She continued blushing, her tiny hand coming up to her mouth to touch her lips in awe, her big green eyes still open wide in surprise.

"Can we talk?" she whispered urgently. I nodded. Grabbing her hand, I tried as best as I could to discretely walk us through the crowded living room and kitchen. I opened the door to the balcony, following behind Regan as she darted outside.

"You're going to get pneumonia," I muttered, taking off my jacket. I wrapped it around her shoulders as we walked over to the railing. Regan pulled it around herself, giving me an unsure glance.

"Between the two of us, I'm sure I already do. But I wanted to be here tonight."

"Why?" I asked incredulously. The last thing I wanted was for her to get sick for standing out in the snow on the night of my return to Forks. I silently cursed myself. The music inside blasted away, muted by the glass windows. My guests danced and yelled, oblivious to the two of us standing out on the balcony. My hand twitched at my side as I stared at her, itching to reach out and pull her against my warm body.

I just wanted to hold her so damn bad.

"I wanted to be here….with you. I wanted to kiss you…..I didn't get to last year. This year…this year I wanted t-to," she stuttered, staring up at me. I bit my lip and clenched my fists to remind myself not to do anything stupid.

"Regan, that's silly. I would have skipped the stupid party and gone to Charlie's to be with you."

"That's….not necessary," she muttered, turning to stare out at the woods. I watched as her hands touched the railing, goose bumps rising up on her pale skin in the dim light.

Slowly, I walked up behind her. She stiffened when she felt my chest against her back, but if she minded she didn't say anything. I rested my chin on top of her head, my arms molding around her shoulders as we spooned standing up. Turning her head, her cold cheek burned against the sliver of skin peeking out of the top of my dress shirt. I inhaled her scent, enjoying the smell that seemed to haunt my dreams. Everything was better when it smelled like cherries and almonds.

""What's wrong?" I asked.

"How do you know something's wrong?" she challenged. That's my Regan. Always challenging, always pushing.

"Imprint thing," I mumbled against her hair. My hands covered hers on the cold railing, making her goose bumps go away. I smiled.

"Can you really feel what I feel? Claire said you could."

"Claire told the truth."

"Does she know that Quil imprinted on her?"

"Of course she does. She's known since she was a toddler."

"Weird."

"Warned you."

We were silent for a moment, I think both of us just enjoying a quiet moment to lean all over each other and just breathe. I could practically hear the wheels in her brain start cranking before too long though, although I wasn't prepared for her statement.

"I'm not sure how to act now."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, lowering my head down beside hers. I peered at the side of her face, watching as she stared forward into the forest.

"I just….I'm not sure what to do. You're my best friend Seth. But….I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more than that. I've had it, and….I don't want to give it up. Is that…bad?"

"No…" I admitted. "Honestly, I feel the same."

"What do we do?"

I shrugged, wrapping my arms around her. "I don't know. I'm just as clueless as you, I can't lie."

"Really?"

"Yeah. When I met you, I….I cursed the fact that there wasn't like a…a handbook for this sort of thing. It's not normal, but…"

"But what?"

"….I guess….from what I understand about imprinting, all this sort of awkward, unknowing stuff at the beginning is worth it. It gets better in the long run. I see my brothers who have imprints and they just seem so happy. But they all had crap to deal with when it starts."

"I guess I can understand that. But what do we do in the meantime?"

"Wait it out?"

She turned her head, looking at me with her wide eyes. "What if we can't?"

"What if we can't what?"

"Wait. I mean….it's like going backwards. Can you ever really backpedal?"

"I wondered the same thing," I whispered. "Be how you want to around me. I'll just….deal with it."

She nodded, uncertainty playing in her eyes. "So….do I just assume you feel the same way about me that….that I do about you?"

I shrugged, hugging her tighter against my chest. "How do you feel about me?"

Silence.

"I think you already know."

The L-word played in my mind, dancing back and forth. I knew exactly what she was referring to. She was asking if it was okay to still love me. I didn't know many things, but I knew that I still loved her.

"I think I do too," I admitted.

"If I say it, will you say it back?" she asked, turning around to face me. I stared down at her, swallowing my fear. I shouldn't be afraid to say this out loud. It was okay now. Sort of.

"I told you I can't tell a lie."

"Fine then. I still….after everything….really love you."

I exhaled sharply as I listened to her words. As bad as things were, I knew that they could be worse. My imprint was saying that she loved me - the rest was just details.

"I love you too."

Delight flashed across her face as she stared up at me. I watched her chest rise and fall with satisfaction, her heart stuttering at my words.

"Then kiss me again."

I didn't disobey her.

After that, I couldn't really tell you what happened at that party. For the next half hour, I walked around attempting to mingle, but mostly just staring at Regan from across the room. I was pressing my lips together to savor the last traces of her peppermint lip gloss on my mouth. Her sweet, cheery almond scent lingered on my shirt, and I silently vowed never to wash that shirt – Prada or no Prada.

I really thought Regan was going to stay longer and talk with her friends, but shortly before one in the morning she began sneezing more and looking miserable due to her cold, and I offered again to drive her home. She agreed, leaving to get her coat and purse while I went to grab my keys.

"Take Jasper's car, it's new," Alice said, suddenly appearing. She pressed a single black key into my palm with her cool little fingers, giving me a wink. I laughed, glancing down at the logo on the key.

"Oh God, a Porsche," I laughed, turning it over in my palm. She simply giggled and pranced away. I ushered a coughing Regan out to the car, cursing myself for letting her stay out so late when she was sick. She was going to feel awful tomorrow.

"Are you aright?" she asked once we were in Jasper's car. I turned it on, flipping on the seat warmers for her and adjusting the heating vents.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, checking to make sure she had her seatbelt on. I wasn't sure what modifications Rosalie had made to this car; no telling what it was capable of.

"Are you sure?" She repeated, looking at me. I laughed nervously, pulling out of the driveway and onto the highway.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just…it wasn't good of you to stay out so late when you have a cold," I said. "Mom is gonna kill me."

"Sue will live," Regan mused, looking out the window as the scenery flashed by. A light snow had begun to fall by the time we arrived back home to Charlie's house, and my chest began to ache at the thought of leaving her again – I really didn't want to go, especially when she was sick.

"You should get some rest," I said softly, shutting off the car once we were in the driveway. She looked over at me from her seat, sniffing slightly from her runny nose.

"I know. Will you be over tomorrow to watch football with Charlie and Billy?" she asked hopefully.

My heart soared.

"Uh, yeah, I was planning to. Seahawks play, so…you…want me there?" I asked.

She shrugged. "If you want to come, I'll be home all day. I'm sick, so what else do I have to do?"

I laughed, "Yeah, I guess you're right." I looked over at her, huddled up on in the passenger seat, and she was staring right at me with her beautiful eyes. The house was silent, and no cars were out on the street, so the only sound was that of the large snowflakes as they fell on the windshield. The silence seemed daunting suddenly, and my mind raced and tripped over itself to find something to say to her.

"You uh…look really beautiful tonight. Um..God, that sounds so generic, I-"

"Seth, it's fine," she interjected, putting her hand on mine. I looked down at it, then up at her freshly glossed lips. She must have reapplied that tasty lip gloss again, I thought. I licked my own lips nervously, giving her a crooked smile as she looked at me expectantly from her seat.

"You really think I'm beautiful?" she asked slowly, her voice tentative. I nodded quickly, overzealous but sincere. How could I not think she was beautiful? Anyone who two eyes and a brain could see that. To me she was down right gorgeous. Sure, I could see other women, but why the hell would I want to when I could look at Regan?

I didn't want to scare her, so I just exhaled and pressed my lips together to keep from spouting off something else embarrassing.

"I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Wayyyyy too pretty to still be in high school," I said out loud, hoping that hearing that coming from my own mouth would help calm myself. It didn't.

"Will you kiss me again?" she breathed quietly, and for a moment I almost wasn't sure if that was really what she had said. I stared straight forward, trying to decide if my mind was playing trick on me. I prayed that it wasn't as I turned to look at her.

I leaned over slightly and she nearly lunged forward to grasp my face with her cold hands. It was hard to do much in Jasper's tiny sports car, but we sure managed just fine. She pressed her glossed lips against mine again and again, each time longer and firmer than the last. I lost more and more control as she kissed me, my tongue swiping at her bottom lip to taste her. God she tasted so amazing.

My hands wove themselves into her hair, gently grasping her head and bringing it closer to me. I never wanted to let her go after leaving her once; I felt like I would die if I ever tried that stupid shit again. Our tongues gently touched and teased each other, and ever few seconds one of use would laugh against the other's lips.

Eventually, our kisses slowed and she sat back in her seat. "I hope I didn't get you sick," she laughed, biting her lip. I chuckled, shaking my head.

"I don't get sick very often. It's okay anyway…If I did, I'd just remember how I got sick in the first place and I would be pretty okay with it," I admitted, feeling my own cheek redden with a blush. She giggled, picking up her purse. I didn't every get sick. But, if I did catch her cold I would be fine with it - I'd know that I got it from kissing her.

"I'd better get inside," she said. "it's almost two. I don't want your mom and Charlie to worry about me."

"Yeah. I'll be over tomorrow. Call me if you need anything," I added hopefully. She grinned then ducked her head shyly.

"Goodnight Seth," she finally said, opening the car door. I smiled to myself as I watched her walk inside the house. When her bedroom light flipped on, I pulled out of the driveway and made my way home.

I was over at Charlie's house by noon the next day, and was relieved to see that Jacob and Billy were already over there.

Backup.

Charlie nodded at me as I walked inside and I felt myself exhale. That was officially the warmest greeting I had gotten from him in quite some time.

"Billy," I said, shaking his hand. I nodded at Jake, who was engrossed in the pre-game show on the TV.

"Seth. Nice to see you back in Forks…where you belong," he muttered.

"What's that old man?" I asked with a laugh. His dark eyes glittered at me before he opened a can of Vitamin R. We had about a half an hour to kill before the game, so I spent my time hovering over my mother's shoulder while she prepared food and watching the pregame show in the living room.

Regan shuffled down the stairs, still clad in her pajamas, which I assumed she would be staying in all day. Regan pajamas consisted of an old, comfortable looking hooded sweatshirt, fuzzy socks, and perhaps the greatest thing on earth; skintight yoga pants that hugged her…well, they looked really good on her. She pulled a tissue out of her sleeve on her way down the steps, blowing her nose and coughing. My heart panged when I realized that I wanted to be the one to take care of her when she was sick, not my mom.

"You feelin any better Reg?" Charlie asked from the couch, prying his eyes from the TV.

She nodded, shuffling over to the couch to flop down on the loveseat in the corner. I fought my instinct to run over to her first thing, trying to appear casual in front of my mom and Charlie. Jake looked at me pointedly from the armchair, and I avoided his gaze. I tried to make small talk with Billy and my mom in the kitchen for a few moments before wandering into the living room for the game to start. I sat down on the couch next to Charlie, looking sideways at Regan. She was staring at the TV with an amused look on her face, sitting curled up with a fuzzy blanket.

Sue put out a tray of cold cuts from the Piggly Wiggly for us, and we all chowed down immediately. While I ate, I tried not to stare at her while she rested her head on the side of the couch, dozing throughout the game. I wanted her to rest her head on my shoulder, not the damn couch. My leg bounced nervously, and Charlie even told me once to knock if off.

"I'll move over here then," I offered, jumping up from the larger couch. I moved to the loveseat where Regan was, gently picking up her feet sitting down. She went to move her legs off of my lap, but I held them there.

"No, it's okay," I said, arranging the blanket so that it still covered her feet. I saw Charlie glance at us once questioningly, but he said nothing.

"How you feeling?" I asked once the game was back on TV. My hand twitched in my lap as I fought my instinct tooth and nail to not reach over and grasp her tiny hand in mine. My eyes fixated on the tip of her fingers that were poking out from her sweatshirt sleeve. She followed my gaze down to her hand, and looked up at me. I watched a deep crimson blush slowly rise into her round cheeks.

God, even sick she looked amazing. Was it just me? Was I the only one who thought she was this beautiful?

We continued to watch the game, my mother peeking at us from the kitchen. I could hear her on the phone with Leah, and my ears struggled to hear what they were talking about. The TV was too loud and I didn't catch much of their conversation.

Regan shifted her back against the arm of the couch where she was laying, drawing my attention back to her. Her legs moved on my lap, and I laid my arm over the top of them. She rested her arm against mine and I could feel tingles running up the surface of my skin.

Charlie stood to go into the kitchen to get another beer on a commercial break, and I watched him leave. This was going to be harder than I thought. Would Charlie ever be accepting of my relationship with Regan? I had to admit to myself that even though she was eighteen and perfectly legal, it was still a bit strange, even to me. I just had to keep reminding myself that my age was just a number; physically, I was only a few years older than her, and that was what counted, right? Well, maybe if I said it to myself enough it would be all that mattered.

She sat up on the couch, peering into the kitchen to make sure Charlie was still in here. When she was satisfied, she leaned against my arm and put her head on my shoulder.

"Gosh, you're always so warm…" she said, her body shivering slightly. "I've had the chills for like two days!"

"I'm not too hot for you?" I asked. She shook her head, pressing her cold nose against my shoulder.

"Never," she said, inhaling a deep breath of air. I suddenly felt worried; she smelled amazing to me. But how did I smell to her? I knew that as my imprint, she should be attracted to my scent and body, but there were no promises. I was an addict.

I had had enough with avoiding her.

Looking to the side, I noticed that her head was still laying on my arm, her breathing even and slow. Had she already fallen asleep? I lowered my face to her hair, inhaling the sweet, cherry almond scent that was so Regan it made my heart pang a little. It was also laced with the scent of vapo-rub, but I would take that. I just wanted my girl to feel better.

Before I realized what I was doing, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and the rested my nose on her soft locks of chocolate brown hair. What I wouldn't give to not have to feel wrong about things like this.

Charlie made his way back into the room as the commercial break ended, his eyes darting to Regan's head on my arm as she slept. He sat down in his armchair with a quiet creaking sound, sipping the foam off his fresh beer. I glanced over at him as he gripped his remote. I felt like an animal caught in a trap.

"Must be tired," he muttered.

I nodded, licking my lips. "Yeah, late night last night. Poor thing has a cold."

He nodded gruffly, glancing at Regan. "Poor kid….er, girl," he corrected himself.

My eyebrows shot up at his words, clearly surprised at his correction. Glancing down, I made sure Regan was still asleep.

"She's….still a kid in a lot of ways, Charlie. I realize that. I don't want her to miss out on that any more than you do," I said softly. He turned his head thoughtfully, moving his eyes up to mine.

"I know you do Seth. We're good."

And just like that, I knew that there was still hope for me and Charlie. Just like that, I knew everything was eventually going to be all right.


	49. Chapter 49

Spring crept slowly into Forks, as it usually did. Winter seemed like an endless season here, but this was one spring that I didn't seem to mind since coming here. This spring, I had something to actually look forward to. With the new season comes changes and growth and new beginnings, and that held true for my relationship with Seth.

We spent the long, cold winter months focusing on our friendship again. Of course it was difficult - the impulse to reach out and touch him and pull him towards my body was always there, however I knew I had to take things slow. Besides - I hadn't completely forgiven him for leaving me before Christmas. He had shattered my trust and it would take time to rebuild it. I knew it was childish and immature to hold a grudge. I couldn't help it.

I held a grudge.

Because as beautiful and wonderful as he was, what had transpired in the days he had been absent from me were at the front of my mind at all times. He never pushed me, but I could see in his eyes that he missed the closeness we used to share.

I did too.

He had hurt me in one of the worst ways someone can hurt the one they love - by leaving. I hadn't forgotten about it, but he was still my Seth. Pushing the hurt and uncertainty aside was difficult, but he meant too much to me to let him go. As angry and hurt as I was I still needed him. I hated that I did, but I truly did. I didn't know if it was the fact that he had imprinted on me and I was just feeling it too, or if my love for him was making me forgive. Either way, I still wanted him as much as I had before he left. He was my best friend again in many ways, but there was still that awkward tension of two lovers that had been torn apart.

So much had happened that I wasn't sure how to start. Our friendship picked back up, but that was the only thing that had.

I was hurt - I wasn't a nun.

"Coming?"

I looked up with a start, forgetting momentarily that I was supposed to be hiking.

With Seth.

Alone.

Oh God.

"Er, yeahh. Sorry," I laughed nervously, stumbling quickly forward.

"You seem to be thinking awfully hard about….hiking," he mumbled, shaking his head at me. His inky locks shone in the sunlight beside the Bronco as he strapped a backpack to his shoulders. I winced at how heavy it looked.

"We don't have to eat a picnic today Seth….we can always come back here for lunch."

I watched his face fall slightly at my words, his smile fading. "No, it's fine. I swear - I can handle it. Not fully human, remember?"

I snorted, shaking my head at him. "Well that much is obvious. You're sure you want to carry that much food on your back?"

"Yeah, it'll be worth it."

"Fine, fine," I muttered, securing my hand me down flannel shirt. I had stolen it from Charlie's closet when Seth suggested we go hiking. Flannel seemed appropriate for trekking through the woods, right? We had hiked once before almost a year ago, and it was nice. Of course I had been so jealous Seth had gone out on a date with another girl that I could barely enjoy it. Today I was hoping to relax and have fun with him - the way we used to.

"It feels chilly….are you sure I'll be warm enough?" I whined.

He nodded, smirking to himself. "Yah….I'll keep ya warm," he laughed.

"Funny Seth," I groaned, tightening the laces on my hiking boots. He had purchased them for me from Newton's Supply store, much to my disliking. I hated when he bought me things. Seth however found it quite comical, stating I was a lot like my cousin Bella in that way. Apparently she hated pricy gifts as well.

"Whatever. Come on, let's get a move on. It'll take us awhile to get there."

"Wait, awhile? How long is 'awhile?"

"Til lunch, Priss. Now come on, let's get going," he barked at me playfully. His dark eyes shone in the morning sunlight. "Please?"

I rolled my eyes and followed him into the woods, away from the rusty Bronco. I didn't know why he loved that nasty, aqua and white beast so dearly. When I commented that he should be spending money on a new car rather than buying me silly things like hiking boots, he had only laughed and mussed my hair.

We began our hike up the steep hill, following the narrow winding path that was barely visible against the green, mossy ground. The birds were fluttering and chirping about, and it was clear that spring was on their mind. The trees were starting to sprout tiny leaves, and the moss on the ground was slowly getting greener. As spring progressed, I couldn't help but think about my upcoming high school graduation. Would anything change between us?

"So….where is this place you wanted to show me?" I panted, already out of breath. He glanced over his shoulder at me, grinning.

"Up the mountain. Edward discovered it - same place we went before."

"I bet Edward gets there faster," I grumbled. He snickered at me as I chucked a rock at him. He dodged it easily, laughing so loud it echoed off the newly budding trees. The early April air was still chilly, but this was one of the first sunny days of the year and I was grateful. I wasn't sure I could take much more of winter.

"Yeah he would. But he isn't here, he's in Denali."

"With Lex, right?" I asked, moving around a sapling. He held the small tree out of my way, waiting for me to pass.

"Yeah. They'll be back soon. They always come back."

"Have you heard anything? About Lexi?"

He shook his head, giving me a little shrug. "Just that she's doing well. Hasn't had any accidents. They took her to Juno not too long ago and exposed her to humans and Eleazar said she did really well."

"So it like…hurts her to be around humans now?"

"Yeah. Edward says it can be so painful it's almost unbearable. He said they have to fight every instinct inside of them not to attack. At first it can be so difficult that it's physically hard for them to….leave if they're tempted."

"So that's why she left," I said sadly. "I guess she didn't want to slip up and make me her dinner."

"Right," he said solemnly. I watched as he moved fluidly through the underbrush, his espresso colored eyes darting around the forest. A chill settled over me as I realized he was observing our surroundings for signs of danger.

"Is it okay that we're out here?"

"Of course," he said casually, reaching over to guide me through some ferns. I laughed as the thick foliage brushed at my legs, making it even harder to move through the forest. His warm hand burned at my skin through the material, giving me a little shiver. The warmth that Seth had always made me shiver as it was usually the complete opposite temperature of the weather in Forks.

"You cold?" he asked, glancing down at me.

"Um…no," I answered, hoping he would ignore my blush. He smiled before letting his hand drop and resuming our walk.

That was how things were now. Just as things were heating up and getting flirty, he would say something friendly and sweet and give me a smile before moving on. We were still best friends, however…..there was no more kissing. No more touching. And certainly no more sex. I stared at his ass as he made his way up the hill, the loose denim of his jeans only giving me a rough outline of his backside. I felt bad looking at him as a piece of meat that I wanted to jump, but….damn. Seth's body was long and lean and nothing but muscle, and his worn Levi's hung off his butt left nothing to be desired. He had just enough to fill them up and make me practically pant as I followed him uphill.

I missed him in that way.

My skin tingled as we walked, remembering the feeling of his body against mine. Muscles, soft lips, delicious heat….

Seth peered over his shoulder as he walked a few steps ahead of me. I only caught a glimpse of his eye as he glanced back at me, but the expression on his face made me pause. Could he tell I was thinking about him….like that?

I certainly hoped not.

We hiked up the mountain for what seemed like hours. Guessing by the way the sun had shifted, it was. By the time we got to the top of the hill we had been climbing, I felt like my legs were going to fall off.

"Tired?" he laughed, holding back another branch. I panted slightly, embarrassed that I looked so horribly out of shape.

"No…I'm….fine," I gasped. He laughed and reached down, taking my hand. I felt my heart stutter as he beamed at me and pulled me through a thicket of ferns and saplings.

"We're here," he said proudly, gesturing in front of us.

The sun was the first thing I noticed. It was no longer peeking through the trees, for there suddenly were no trees around us. We were in a meadow, the sun beating down on us as the cool mountain air was suddenly warmer.

It was glorious. Seth had brought me here before almost a year ago, but the meadow hadn't looked quite this beautiful then. I was once again nearly speechless as I stared out into the open field of colorful flowers and wild grass.

I beamed up at the sky, welcoming the sun on my face as I walked further into the meadow. And that's when I noticed them.

The periwinkle and white flowers that I had no name for were in full bloom, their happy looking blossoms pointing up towards the sky. They danced in the light breeze, their movement calling to me as I stepped further into the almost blinding mid-morning sun.

"It's so beautiful," I murmured, holding out my hand. The paleness of my skin was a little blinding; perhaps a bit of sun would do me some good.

"You've been here before," he laughed, taking his backpack off. He laid it on the ground, flopping down beside it.

"I know…it just…feels prettier somehow," I replied, giving him a small smile.

He beamed up at me, giving me his signature smile that always made my stomach do a flip. I think part of the wonderfulness of Seth was that he truly didn't realize how great he was. He lived simply with his heart on his sleeve and a smile on his face. I'd watched him do countless things for others out of the sheer drive to earn a smile in return for the one he was surely giving them. Something about him was so pure and innocent that he certainly didn't seem his age. I don't think he knew how utterly beautiful and Adonis-like he was either. As I stared at him, I couldn't put my finger on why people like that were so magnetic.

"Regan? Reeeegannnn…" he called, waving his hand in front of him. I blinked rapidly, breaking out of my trance.

"What? Oh….um, sorry," I muttered, walking over to him. I peeled off my flannel, no longer needing it in the warm sunlight. Plopping down on top of it, I tried to rein myself in and stop staring at Seth.

Sometimes that was easier to do than other times.

He pulled out our food, eager to eat as always. As he bit into the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I watched him look around the meadow and chew thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Um…the last time we were here. You were angry with me…"

"I remember."

"Yeah," he snorted, "so do I. You were upset that I had actually tried dating someone my own age."

"I remember," I repeated. My eyes flicked up to his and he gave me a sad smile.

"I didn't want to. But people were starting to wonder…and…I didn't mean to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you….ever. With any of it."

I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I know. This whole thing is….complicated. But can we just forget about it for a day?"

"Forget what?"

"The…complicated part of…us. I just want to be with you today. None of that other stuff matters anymore as far as I'm concerned."

"Really?"

"Really."

We ate in silence for a few more minutes, both of us thinking deeply. Seth scarfed down three more sandwiches, offering me a puppy-like smile as he finished.

"I was hungry."

"You're always hungry," I half laughed, half muttered.

He smiled, his eyes scanning the tree line behind us.

"What are you looking for?"

He snorted. "Nothing, I hope."

I looked around, a little confused. I could tell he was on the watch for danger, but to me there was none. It just looked like a sunny meadow to me.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just…this is kinda nomad's land. Not Cullen territory, not wolf. Just keeping my guard up. There's still some curious vamps out there."

I nodded. Of course if you would have told me six months ago that I'd be nodding casually bout the mention of a nomad vampire lurking in the woods, I would have sent myself to the nut barn. However, talk of vampires and shape shifting wolves was a part of everyday life now.

"Are we in danger?"

"No," he said firmly, snorting to himself. He sounded so sure. I swallowed as I thought about his reasoning behind his answer. I knew now that the members of Seth's pack changed into wolves to protect people from vampires; it was what they were made to do. However, I didn't want to see that proof in front of me anytime soon. The last thing I wanted was for Seth to get hurt defending me.

"What would happen….if…if one showed up?"

"I'd phase and rip it to pieces," he said slowly. His eyes flicked up to meet mine, and I felt another shiver run down my spine.

"You'd…you'd phase right here?"

"Of course. I'd protect you if anything was near us. I'd protect you at any cost."

"Oh," I said softly. His tone was so blaze and nonchalant that it made my toes curl. At any cost. I could tell he meant it too.

"But that won't happen today," he chuckled, his bright eyes shining.

"Cocky," I laughed. I took a sip from the bottle of water in front of me, watching Seth as he sprawled out further, his long legs spreading over the wild grass.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But…I'll let it slide."

"Riiiight."

I softened my expression, scooting closer to him on the grass. He propped himself up slightly, watching as I moved closer. "I'm glad you brought me here again, all joking aside."

"Really?" he asked hopefully. He sat up all the way, reaching for my hand. I watched as he covered it with his, holding it against his thigh. "I come here sometimes when I'm on patrol. It's so calm and peaceful here….I love it."

"It's beautiful," I agreed, glancing around the meadow.

"It's really pretty at night. All the stars…"

"I bet. Maybe…sometime you could kidnap me at night while Charlie is sleeping and you could bring me here to um….look at the stars," I mumbled, trying not to grin. I felt his pulse start to throb against his palm, and I took that as a good sign.

"How about graduation night?" he offered.

I nodded. "I would really like that."

He grinned his signature smile at me with a nod. "Me too."

I sighed, squeezing his hand in mine. "I know this spring has been tough. Thank you for not freaking out."

"I told you Regs….I freaked out once and bolted and I wanted to hang myself for it. Nothing can scare me away now. Nothing - I promise."

I felt a small smile creep up on my lips. "Not even the fact that I'm in high school?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No. Not even that. I'm used to that by now. Besides…you won't be in high school much longer."

"Right," I agreed. "Does that change anything?"

He stared at me thoughtfully for a moment, his expression pensive. "Yes and no."

"What does that mean?"

"What does it mean to you?"

"It means I'm an adult. Free. Free to move on and away from Charlie. And those who want to….control certain situations."

"You're free now, Regs. But neither one of us want to do the immature thing that would hurt the people we love. We're just trying to do this right."

"I know," I muttered. "I know I give you a hard time about it. I'm fine just being friends Seth. For now."

He gazed over at me with somber eyes. "I still love you more than my own life," he said quietly. "If that means anything."

"It means a lot. I love you too," I breathed. The words rolled off my lips so effortlessly it was almost comical. Saying 'I love you' to Seth was the easiest thing in the world.

He was, after all, impossible not to love.

He grinned ear to ear, his bright smile worming its way further into my heart. How did he do that? He made being happy look so easy - so effortlessly simple.

"You're okay with that, right?"

"With what?" I asked, snapping myself out of my trance. His smiles had a tendency to do that to me - put me in a trance.

"With this. With me….loving you."

"I'd be crazy not to. It's been one hell of a ride so far."

"Most girls would want off."

"Then maybe I am crazy," I laughed softly, pulling his hand into my lap. "I just want to ride it longer. See where it takes me."

He sighed contentedly, nodding slightly. "I know what you mean. I would never want to go back to life without you Regs."

"Me either. I….it's hard to remember now. Life before Forks. Is that an imprint thing?"

"Maybe," he chuckled, glancing up at the sun. Closing his eyes, I watched as the sun's warmth touched his tan cheeks.

"Figures," I laughed. "This imprint thing seems to work to your advantage."

"How so?"

"I just can't stay as angry at you as I want to be. As I should be."

"Good point," he laughed. I scowled at him and leaned against his propped up knee.

"Were you upset when I told you I had imprinted on you? Honestly?"

"I didn't know what it meant, Seth."

"Well now that you do. Do you mind?"

"No," I admitted quietly. "It meant that I wasn't crazy for feeling how I did. That I….that I didn't have to hide what I wanted to feel. What I did feel….but ultimately, no. I wasn't upset….at least now when I figured out that it meant we belonged together. Right?"

"Right. So you really weren't angry with me?"

"You couldn't' help imprinting on me."

"No, you're right. But I was always happy that I did. Even before it was like…romantic feelings, I loved you so much. I thought you were great. Still do. But you're okay with everything? Right?"

I had to chuckle at his questioning. What was he getting at?

"What is this, twenty questions?" I laughed.

He shrugged, pulling me into his arms. I leaned back against his chest, savoring the feeling of his warmth against my back. "If you want it to be."

I turned my head to gaze up at him, squinching up my nose. "You want to play twenty questions?"

"Sure. A question for a question."

I laughed. "Okayyyy…..you first."

"Alright," he snorted. "Do you miss Arizona?"

"No," I said quick. My hand slid down his thigh, grasping his. I wove our fingers together tightly, bringing them to rest on my stomach. He shifted beneath me, chuckling to himself.

"Okay. Your turn."

I felt my face turn serious as I looked back up at him. "Did you….did you like it in Seattle?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"It was great. But it was also awful. I couldn't enjoy it because you weren't there."

"Oh," I said softly. "Your turn."

"Oh okay…ummm…..Where do you want to live when you get older?"

I frowned. I had never thought about that before. "Don't you have to stay here?"

"No. I'll retire from the pack eventually….to age."

"When?"

"When you look about my age. I'll stop turning into a wolf and….I'll start to age again."

"So….we could move away from Forks?"

"If you'll have me."

I smiled, leaning back further against his chest. It felt good to talk about the future. It felt right. Comforting.

"Do you see yourself with me?"

"I'm with you," he chuckled.

"No, I mean….in the future."

He nodded against the back of my head. "Yes. Always. I knew when I first saw you that….Well, I just knew."

"Really? That's…..that the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."

"It's true. Imprinted wolves will follow their imprints to the end of the world and back. If you moved to rural Africa and live in a mud hut I'd go with you."

I turned around in his arms to look at him. "That's an awful lot of dedication."

He smirked. "My turn. Did you think you would ever forgive me?"

I felt myself sigh, my stomach clenching. "No…I mean…yes….I….I knew I would forgive you. I just didn't know how long it would take."

"And am I forgiven?"

I laughed. "It's not your turn."

"Right. Well….go on then."

I thought a moment, thinking back to the early days of when Seth had first come into my life. What would I have asked him had I had the opportunity then?

"Why do you always smile?"

He smirked before flashing me his dazzling smile. "I just do. Why does everyone thinking smiling is a crime?"

"I wasn't complaining. You didn't really answer."

He nodded good naturedly. "I have a lot to smile about these days."

"Really?"

"It's not your turn."

I laughed. "Fine. Your turn."

"Are you happy you left Phoenix?"

"Of course. Duh."

He smirked again. "Thought so. Just wanted validation."

"I'm sure."

"Was that girl you took out on a date….did she come onto you?"

"Truthfully?"

"We're playing a game Seth, so…yes."

"Yeah. She did."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. She made my skin crawl."

"I'm sure."

"All I could think about was you!" he laughed.

"Right."

"I'm being honest."

"Fine, fine," I relented.

"My turn. Did you ever….like Zeke? Like that?"

I giggled, avoiding his gaze. "No, honestly. He's cute, but….it's weird…the only reason I think he's cute is because….well….he looks like you."

"He wishes!"

"Shut up….he does!"

"Whatever. Your turn."

"When you saw me….for the first time, and you…"

"Imprinted," he said quietly.

"Yeah," I nodded, "what did you think of me?"

I turned my head and watched his reaction up close. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly as he processed my question. The sunlight shone down on his perfect face, illuminating every curve. He was so pretty it almost wasn't fair.

"What do you mean?"

"What was the first thing that ran through your mind? When…when you first saw me?"

"I thought….um….well I thought you were beautiful," he stammered in true Seth fashion. He chuckled to himself as his eyes got a little foggy. I watched him remember the moment as we laid there in the grass. "Just beautiful."

"But I was sixteen."

He poked my side. "I didn't say I wanted to throw you up against a wall and take you ten different ways. You were just….beautiful in a totally innocent way. I never had impure thoughts about you Regan…not for a long time. Honest. No….when we met, I wanted nothing more than to protect you from any harm and to make sure no other boys hit on you."

"I wish you would have been twenty minutes earlier to that party."

"I did too. But…almost no. I mean, if I saw him hitting on you or….kissing you I would have….um," he paused, "it would have been bad and I would have made a scene."

I nodded, trying not to look upset. I had been so stupid to sleep with Brady on one of my first nights in Forks. I didn't identify with the girl I was back then. I didn't even know who she was.

"Were you upset about the Brady thing?"

"Not with you….well, a little. I was disappointed you had made that choice, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had you in my life….I had finally found you. I was too happy to worry about something like that at the time. I was just so elated that I….that I knew I even had an imprint. That she existed."

"But I was sixteen. How did that not ruin your life?"

He guffawed loudly, holding his stomach. "Well," he said, flashing his teeth up at me. "I knew you were on the planet, firstly. And….you just gave me hope again. Hope that someday I would have another reason for living."

"Were you sad before you met me?"

"Were you?"

He had turned the tables on me. I smirked down at him, reaching up to touch his inky hair. He swallowed again, his throat doing that bobbing thing. I licked my lips as I tried to ignore his beauty.

"Yes."

"I was too," he admitted. "I wasn't unhappy, I just wasn't….happy happy, you know?"

"No….I was miserable."

"Right," he muttered, "well we don't have to be that anymore. We have each other. "That's a lot in this crazy world, isn't it?"

"I think so," I admitted. "But what if you hadn't found me? What if I had stayed in Phoenix?"

"Wouldn't matter," he mumbled softly, taking my hand. He splayed his fingers against mine as if he was comparing their sizes. Satisfied, he wove his fingers against mine and held them to his chest.

"It would too!"

"No….I would have found you eventually."

"How?"

"I don't know. Regan, that's just….imprinting for you. I would have found you eventually."

"So….did Leah imprint on Scott?"

"No, but…"

"So how does she know she doesn't have an imprint out there somewhere? Waiting?"

"She doesn't," he relented, "but she fell head over heels in love with Scott."

"So? What if you never met me, and I never moved to Forks?"

"I would have gone to Phoenix and found you."

"Gone there why? On sabbatical? Seth, be real. I'd still be there, and you'd still be here. Frozen. What would have changed?"

"I would have….gone there on vacation or something, or…or bumped into you in an airport. Whatever, I just would have found you."

"I'm not so sure," I huffed, suddenly an overwhelming mixture of sadness and panic. What if I was right? It was a split decision to come to Forks. The one mutual choice I had made with my mother in the entire time we had known each other. I wanted away from her and she wanted me gone. But what if that hadn't gone down the way it had? Where would I be?

"Why is this a big deal? Don't doubt me, Regs. I would have found you. The universe wouldn't keep us apart."

"Don't' be so sure."

"Done be so unsure."

I had to laugh. There was Seth with that typical optimism that made him him. "You're funny," I chuckled, brushing my fingers through his hair. He hummed softly, his eyes falling shut.

"I think I'm in heaven," he said a few minutes later. I looked down at him, breaking the trance I had been in with the wildflowers in front of me. He squinted up at me, making sure I was watching him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I could just stay here. Like this…forever. You're all I ever need, you know that…right?"

I gazed down at him, raising an eyebrow. "You'd get hungry eventually."

He snorted, rolling over slightly and reaching up to pull me to the ground. I fell forward onto his stomach, laughing as his warm hands coaxed me down into the grass beside him. I jabbed him in the side, making him burst out laughing and reach out to return the favor. His fingertips easily found my ribcage, gently prodding until a peal of my laughter rang out in the meadow.

"Two can play that game," he muttered, ticking me again. When I thought I could laugh no harder, he grabbed me and rolled me horizontally onto his stomach to straddle him. I stared down at him as his finger stopped prodding me for giggles. He blinked, watching my face with contentment.

"You need nothing else? Nothing but me?" I teased. He nodded, his eyebrows furrowing together as if he was just realizing something. "What?"

"I'd give up food for you," he frowned, "just to say here."

I felt my face soften. "Aw….you do love me," I laughed.

He nodded. "I do love you."

I paused, licking my lips. "What kind of love is it though?" I asked, "Is it just….I care for you love? Friendship? Or…something else?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Who's turn is it?"

"Never mind that. I'm feeling bold….so sue me," I mumbled, looking at the ground behind his head.

"That's not like you."

"Weren't we playing '20 questions'?"

He hummed softly, raising his hand up to touch my hair. "We were."

"So?'

"So….Regan, I love you - period. Isn't that enough?"

I swallowed, trying to find my courage to prod further. I knew Seth loved me; I also knew that it was selfish of me to want him to define that love to me. But I couldn't help it.

"I just…..wanted to know if you would ever love me like….like that."

He blushed slightly, his fingers halting in my hair. "I do love you like that. As friends, but also….more than that. I want to be with you forever Regs. I love you like that."

A wide smile crept across my face, satisfaction burning through my body. He did love me the way I loved him. I stopped resisting. Dipping my head down to his, I placed a lingering kiss on his soft lips. He grunted in surprise, but eventually moved his mouth against mine. I shifted my hips down, my body aligning with his. I wasn't sure if I should be kissing him; after all, we had agreed to slow things down. But I wanted this. I needed it.

I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He granted it, allowing me to fully taste him the way I had been craving. As usual, he tasted like something sweet - like candy. I smiled as I felt our tongues meet and tangle with each other, both of us a little starved for affection. His warm hands slid up my thighs, painstakingly rising up to grip my hips. I ground myself against him, making the both of us groan together.

I missed this - I missed him.

He made a deep growling noise in his chest before shifting his weight. Before I could even give it any thought, I was on my back in the tall grass. His body lowered down against mine, and soon I was greeted with the delightful warmth that was Seth's body on top of mine. No sweeter feeling in the world, if you asked me.

One hand rose up to softly touch my cheek as the other went to one of my thighs. Gently yanking it up, he hooked my leg behind his back and settled himself closer to my body.

I giggled as he kissed down my neck, allowing his tongue to lightly lick the soft skin. Seth chuckled to himself against my skin, stopping to lightly suck here and there. He was playful and happy even when he was knee-deep in a heavy make out session. My skin formed goose bumps as I ran my hand down his warm arm and pulled his hand towards my chest. It collided with my left breast, making him groan again. He cupped and teased it, making my heart and breathing speed up.

I missed him. I wanted him. Now.

I shifted my hips again only to arch my back and keep his deeper. He went along with it for a few more minutes, the two of us partaking in the heaviest make out and groping session we'd had to date. I was panting and moaning with each kiss and touch, so naturally my eyes flew open in panic when he stopped.

"What is it?" I asked breathlessly. Seth paused, lifting himself up on his elbows as he hovered over me.

"Nothing, I just…..we should stop. I promised I'd have you back by four."

I let my head fall back against the grass, groaning with defeat. Girls didn't get blue-balls, but I guessed I was awfully close if there was such a thing. I squeezed my legs together as he rolled off of me, trying to enjoy the last few fleeting traces of his touch. Talk about hot and bothered. I sat up on my elbows as he sat back on his knees with a grunt. We stared at each other for a few seconds as we tried to catch our breath and come down from our tumble in the grass.

"Why uh…did we stop exactly?" I panted, brushing my hair out of my eyes. I was sure it was sticking up every which way by now, but I couldn't have cared less. That was the first time in weeks Seth had touched me and I was still quivering.

"I just…..didn't seem right. Out here….I didn't want you to think I only brought you up here to…." he trailed off, smirking to himself. His dark eyes met mine and seemed to glint mischievously.

"Right," I agreed quickly, nodding. With a deep sigh, I turned to face him in the grass. "So why did you bring me up here?"

He snorted to himself, jumping upright. Holding out his hands, he pulled me up along with him.

"What are we doing?"

"I'm going to show you something," he said, giving me another coy look. I raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He walked to a clear spot in the meadow, pausing to pull off his shirt. My mouth fell open slightly as I gazed at the muscled abyss that was his stomach as the cotton fell to the ground.

"I'm not complaining….show me things more often," I stammered, trying not to blink. I watched him blush as he tossed it to the ground.

"Perv," he teased. I shrugged and grinned, staring at him unabashedly, as any girl my age would have done.

"Hey, now that you're half naked and all, what's your tattoo?" I finally asked, spying the familiar mark on his bicep. He glanced down at it as he unfastened his pants, letting them fall to the grass.

"Tribal thing. Whole pack has em. Got it the night after I first phased. You hate it?"

"No," I laughed, trying not to blush as he stripped down. "I like it. Can I get a tattoo?"

"Regan, no. You're beautiful the way you are."

"You can't stop me."

"True….but just don't. Your skin is so pretty. I only got this cuz all the guys had em."

"Fine," I grumbled. His hands went to his black boxers, playing with the elastic at the top.

"Um….I hope you don't mind if I'm naked."

"I'm breathing, aren't I?"

He smirked and let his boxers fall to the ground. I grinned and blushed harder, averting my eyes.

"No, you can look at me - it's fine. I'm used to it," he said gently. I turned my eyes slowly back to him, watching his naked form stand in the sunny meadow. "Just watch. Don't be scared - it's still me."

I sucked in a breath as I realized he was going to phase. holy crap! I thought. Before I could have another thought, Seth was bending over like he was going to go down on all fours. I watched with baited breath and a queasy stomach as his form began to blur. Then, just as he had before in the Cullens driveway, his body burst apart and suddenly….there he was. He was Seth, but….with fur.

I sucked in a nervous breath as I watched him stand before me, suddenly so tall and empowered. He shook his coat out, making a few pieces of dust and fur fall to the ground. My eyes were as wide as saucers as I watched him take cautious step forward.

"Wow," I breathed, exhaling loudly. Seth bobbed his wolfy head at me, blinking his eyes.

His eyes.

They were still his.

He was a wolf, but he was still Seth.

Even though I knew what he was, it didn't take anything away from this experience. My Seth was a wolf. Standing right in front of me.

I inhaled again, trying to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest. This wasn't a shock - he had been promising that I could see him in wolf form for weeks now, but this was my first official time seeing him like this. I was wonderstruck.

I began slowly pacing around his large body, watching as she stood perfectly still. He was tall and lean, his sandy, multicolored coat shining in the sunlight. He was big and slightly scary, but still quite beautiful to see up close. I walked behind him, coming up on his left flank. I jumped slightly when his tail wagged gently, his head stretching to gaze back at me.

"You're huge!" I laughed, trying not to shake. Just because I knew what he was didn't make these any less amazing. "Can I touch you?"

He bobbed his head again, sitting back on his haunches. He made a chuffing noise through his nose, as if he was bored.

"You're funny," I said, reaching my hand out. It was met with wiry fir, a bit of dust, and eventually a soft undercoat of fluff. His outer coat was rough, but the fur beneath it was softer than silk. His muscles shuddered beneath my touch as if to ask for more. Running my hand down his shoulder, I moved it around to his face. Tentatively, I touched the spot beneath his ear and watched as his eyes dipped closed.

"Does that feel good?"

He answered by nodding and butting his head against my shoulder with a low noise in his throat. I moved to his ears, gently scratching behind them. I watched as his back leg twitched, much like a dog's would. I burst out laughing only to laugh harder when he gave me a wolfy version of a shrug.

"This is amazing," I said softly, patting his large muzzle. He was the size of a small horse; he reminded me of the horses we used to go trail riding through the woods back home in Phoenix once. I pet him for a few more minutes before his body began to blur again. I jumped back in alarm, only to see Seth suddenly standing in front of me.

"Holy crap," I gasped, clutching my chest. "You startled me."

He smiled, reaching down to pull his boxers back on. His jeans followed, but he remained shirtless. He was a little smug as he fastened his pants, zipping them up with a slight flourish. So Seth.

"Show off," I muttered, crossing my arms. He laughed loudly, putting his hands on his hips. I had to remind myself not to stare as the sun beat down on him and all of his muscled goodness in the flowery meadow.

"Like to see you burst into a giant fluffy ball, thank you," he laughed. I shook my head at him as we walked back over to our spot in the grass. He grabbed his water bottle, crunching it in his hand before taking a lot drag.

"What was that like?"

"What?"

"Turning…or…phasing, I mean."

He paused, shuddering to himself for a moment.

"What?"

"Nothing I just….it certainly didn't feel good. Not like it does now."

"So…you get used to it? Or…"

"No…." he was quiet a moment, his brows kneaded in thought. "Now that I've been doing it for so long, I have it so controlled….it doesn't hurt at all. I can do it at the drop of a hat, and I can control it. I never really….some of the other guys used to have tempers. Get real mad, you know?"

"I guess."

"Well…I never got like that. I was always kinda….well…me. I never let crap get to me. I never had a problem like…phasing on people when I got mad or upset about something."

"It must be pretty dangerous for a new wolf then, right?"

"Very," he said somberly. "My cousin Emily found that out the hard way."

I nodded, having heard Emily's story before from Sue. I knew from her tales of caution to stay away from an angry shape shifter. They couldn't always control it.

"You don't have to worry," he said softly, reaching out. His hand brushed mine, and I looked up at him with slightly worried eyes. "I'm in control. I can get angry at stupid every day stuff and it won't make me phase."

"I know. I trust you."

"Good," he murmured, nodding his head happily. "But the first time….it feels like…like you're exploding. It feels like you're just this huge ball of flames and heat and you'll just melt if you don't let it go. It hurt…..real bad."

I watched him speak, captivated. Hearing someone admit the dark, gruesome facts about their supernatural life would never get boring.

"It got easier though. Easier to control, easier to do, and then to eventually change back. Took lots of practice."

"I bet."

"Now it just feels kinda good. Like cracking your back after a long day in a desk, ya know? There's actually some relief tied to it. Makes your joints feel good."

"Right," I laughed. "Maybe I should try it sometime."

He laughed again, this time louder. He seemed more carefree, but I couldn't help my curiosity. I wanted to ask him my other question.

"What….what made you phase?"

His laughter slowed, and eventually stopped. "Um….it was Leah. Leah phased first. In our living room, in fact. She got all red and hot and….just did it. The weird thing was, I was upset that she did it, but I was kinda….I don't know, I felt like I was meant to do it too."

I bit my lip, watching his face. His features grew sadder all of the sudden. "When she….phased, it was in front of my dad. He….he had a heart attack. I just remember him clutching his chest and….that's all. Everything gets kinda….fast and blurry at that point. It all happened really quickly."

I watched him struggle with his words; I had never seen Seth look so sad and I didn't know what to say to comfort him.

"Leah came home one evening….it was almost dark out, I remember that. I don't even remember what she was so angry about. Prolly….eh…." he trailed off. "She came home stomping around, throwing things. Her skin was just red….just like a bad sunburn. She couldn't stop twitching and shaking. Mom thought she was having a seizure."

"Was she?"

"Kinda. Her body was freaking out….a few seconds later she stomped into the living room and we knew why. My mom started screaming and….and Leah turned around and snarled at her. She was just scared….and then my dad came running in and…"

"Seth…"

"No, it's….ok. My dad ran in and saw her and just….they just stared at each other for a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Then he fell over. He just hit the ground. Then…"

"The next thing I remember I was just burning up. It was like the worst fever, but magnified a thousand times. I remember exploding and feeling like my skin was ripping away from my body and….and then when I ran through the screen door. Leah ran after me, and we just….stood in the backyard in the rain until Sam came. Everyone was screaming in my head and I just couldn't…."

Seth stopped talking, biting his lip.

"I handled it better than Leah. She was so upset about it. What girl wouldn't be, I guess. Being a wolf and part of the pack was the only thing that helped me get through my dad's death."

He was silent a moment, still clutching my hand. He bit his lip, his dark eyes going foggy again as if he was deep in thought.

"Is it….okay to ask about him?"

He looked up suddenly, his dark eyes pleading. "I would love to talk about him. No one ever does."

"You…you would?" I asked in shock.

He nodded. "Talking about someone who dropped over in the middle of their life doesn't usually make people happy."

"I guess you're right," I lamented. He squeezed my hand in his, his eyes scanning the ground around us as if it held the words he was looking for.

"It makes my mom too sad, and….and Charlie. He was best friends with Charlie. Talking about my dad is like…opening up an old wound. No one wants to do it because it hurts too much. It would be nice to talk about him actually."

"Oh…well…tell me about him."

He sighed, leaning back on his free hand. I leaned on his propped up knee again, watching his face as we held our joined hands between us.

"Where to start? Harry Clearwater was a heck of a guy."

"He'd have to be to be your dad," I replied lightly, giving him a grin. Thankfully, Seth grinned back at me. I suddenly was hit was the realization the he didn't talk about his dad when people were around because it made them sad - but he wanted to talk about him.

"He was an awesome dad. Always teaching me stuff about our tribe, the outdoors, fishing, all that stuff. He always tried to make our hiking and camping trips educational, but he just ended up drinking beer and annoying my mom to death. But she loved it. He was a jokester, not like Charlie."

"So, why did she marry a guy like Charlie?"

He shrugged. "She loves him, in her own way I guess. But I really think Charlie just had a crush on her all that time. He wouldn't have done anything of course, but when my dad died I think he figured he should ask her out. Harry's best friend might as well watch after his wife, right?"

"I suppose," I shrugged. "They seem happy."

"Yeah, they are. I'm sure my dad is happy they're together. Charlie is a good guy for her. He's not my dad, but….no one is."

"Right," I agreed. I suddenly wanted to meet his father more than anything else; something told me he was more like Seth than Sue was.

"He was a bit of a jokester. Like me, he was always smiling. Loved to tell bad jokes, get people to laugh at the wrong time. Loved anything inappropriate. He would always help people out with anything they needed."

"He came from a good family - dirt poor, but good people. He was always talking about what his mom taught him. I guess my great grandma was really strict, especially when it came to how to treat women. She made him think the women of the family ruled the house."

"I like that," I said.

He laughed. "Yeah. His grandmother and my mother were always big on that - be nice to girls. He taught me that. I never talked back to my mom when I was little. I misbehaved and all that, but I was never rude to my mom. I like to think it wasn't a coincidence; I think my dad taught me that. He treated her like she was just….the bestest, most beautiful thing in the world."

"Like how you treat me?" I suddenly interjected, looking over at him. His eyes flicked up to mine, another smile instantly lighting up his features.

"Yeah. I'd like to think my dad taught me how to be nice to girls."

"I think he did," I laughed. Seth snorted to himself, shaking his head as he laughed.

"Yeah well…Harry was….he was a great guy. I guess that's why everyone misses him so much."

"I wish I could have met him. He sounds amazing. I guess I….I see where you get it."

Seth looked over at me, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "I'm half the man my dad was."

"Don't say that. You're great," I laughed.

"Right, whatever….well…..I miss him. Charlie helps ease the pain of not having a father anymore, but Harry….dad….he'll always be a symbol to me. What it means to…to be a good person. A happy person. Someone people wanted to see, and who made them smile when they did see him. He was easy to like."

"Like you," I said. Seth looked up at me, his eyes suddenly bright.

"That sounds like me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Of course it does. Why do you think I fell for you like, first thing?"

"You really did?"

I nodded. "I mean…you were just Sue's awkward yet gorgeous older son who was always smiling at me. I didn't get it, but….I knew I wanted you around."

"I'm glad you did. You still want me around?"

I swallowed my fear. "Yes. Always."

He leaned up enough to pull me against his body. "Agreed. Always."

I giggled as we toppled over into the tall grass, laughing and rolling around. He pinned me down, dipping his face to mine in a sweet, innocent kiss. I groaned when he lifted himself up, gazing down at me with wonder.

"Don't doubt that the universe meant for me to find you. Okay? I would have. Don't worry about that."

"I won't" I relented finally, reaching up. I touched his warm cheek, amazed at the smoothness of his skin under my fingertips.

"Promise?"

"Yeah. I can't think about it. You're too amazing to think about possibly losing."

"You won't lose me Regs. I'm not going anywhere ever again. In fact, you'll probably get sick of me for the rest of your life."

I felt my stomach do a flip. "For the rest of my life?"

"If you'd have me. The universe gave us this strange loop of fate when I imprinted and we met. I mean….we can't ague with fate, right?"

"No, I suppose not."

We lay in the grass for another hour after that, just talking and joking. He told me stories about his dad, and I listened. My heart was sad that Seth no longer had Harry in his life, but I was also glad that he had such a strong, amazing father figure to look up to and model himself after. When we finally stood and collected our picnic, it was nearly three.

"I'm going to be late," I groaned. "My cell doesn't even get service out here."

"It's fine," he laughed, stripping down. "Wanna go for a ride?"

I gaped at him. "You're serious? Me….ride you?"

He smirked, but ultimately said nothing as his polite side won over. I blushed and turned away, trying to collect myself after my faux pas.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed," he said softly, quieting his chuckles. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment under the afternoon sun as I crossed my arms in front of my chest and watched him finish stripping.

"When I crouch down, jump on. And hold on - you won't hurt me," he said with a mischievous wink. I blushed again and looked away as I tried not to look at him naked. I had seen parts of it before during our few short trysts, but I had never actually gotten a good look. Before I knew it, he was standing in front of me as a sandy colored wolf and I had missed my chance.

Seth growled playfully at me, his tail wagging jovially as he trotted over to me. His thick paws crunched against the grass, and I had to remind myself that the mammoth sized animal in front of me was just him. He bent down and nodded his large head, motioning for met o climb on top of him. Taking a deep breath I obliged and tried not to squeak too loudly as he stood up. I leaned down and gripped his fur tightly in my fingers as we began our decent down from the meadow. He started slow at first; a gentle trot down the rocky mountainside. I bounced and tensed on his back, gripping with my arms and legs for dear life. He soon sped up and we were gliding down through the trees. Squeezing my eyes shut I simply tried my best to not fall as we sailed through the greenery. It was actually a bit amazing how graceful he was - several times I expected us to crash into boulders or trees but his long body always seemed to just miss them. We arrived back at the Bronco unscathed with me having no more than a slightly queasy stomach.

After Seth dropped me home (on time, coincidentally) I had a lot of time to think. Charlie had stuck to his promise - I had been grounded forever. But I knew that graduation was only weeks away. Soon I would be out of high school and halfway through my eighteenth year.

Soon I wouldn't be grounded.

Soon, I would be free.

Soon it would be up to me to decide what to do about Seth.

My answer was a no-brainer. I wanted to be with him. With him. Forever.


	50. Chapter 50

Regan

I was on the cusp of something. I wasn't sure what it was, but I knew I was there, teetering on the edge. Was it adulthood? Or something else? I wasn't sure. Graduation - no, freedom - was so close I could taste it.

I reached out, touching the soft layers of tulle on my prom dress. It was of course beautiful and everything I had dreamed of. The bodice was covered in jewels that would surely reflect the bright lights at prom, and the fluffy layers of the skirt would be great for my short frame to dance in. The dress left nothing to be desired - it was the perfect prom ensemble. I had worked some long, hard hours at the bakery to be able to purchase the dress, but somehow….thoughts of prom were lackluster and dull.

I couldn't take an almost twenty eight year old shape shifting cop to my prom, no matter how many ways I had tried to justify it.

Sighing, I hung the dress on the back of my closet door and flopped on my bed to stare at it. Somehow, I had pictured the weekend of my senior prom….differently. Doesn't every girl dream of skipping off to her senior prom with the guy of her dreams? Or at least a date?

I think Zeke knew he didn't need to ask me as a pity date again this year. Turns out he had imprinted on someone. He wouldn't tell me who, but…for some reason it was a big secret. I knew she didn't go to Forks High, so I thought maybe she went to La Push. Either way, appearances by Zeke had been sparse the past few weeks. He came school and sat with us at lunch, but it was like his mind was somewhere else.

My phone buzzed at my side, making me pick it up and look at it. It was a text from Seth.

Be out front in five. I have a surprise for you.

I immediately beamed. Thoughts of prom had me a bit down in the dumps, and I could sure stand to see my smiley best friend for awhile. Or…whatever he could be labeled right now. It had been a few weeks since our hike to the meadow, and things had been slowly getting steamier between us since then. There had been several late night visits where he came to the yard in wolf form and hopped through my window. We had only made out - he stopped things before they got too far, much to my disappointment. He was keeping me at an arm's length, and I wasn't sure why. Was he waiting for graduation? Or would I have to move out of Charlie's house altogether before things would pick up again?

I sighed as I changed my clothes and ran a brush through my hair. I knew girls couldn't get blue balls, but….damn. I could only take so many more nights of having a half naked Seth climbing in my window and teasing me silly before I combusted.

Feeling his warm skin against mine, inhaling his wild, newly phased scent, running my hands over his sinewy muscles…..I swallowed roughly as I felt my underwear dampen. There was no denying I wanted him.

Badly.

I tried to calm myself as I made my way down the stairs. Even in human form, Seth's sense of smell was extremely sensitive. I had been embarrassed a few times during our make out sessions when things had gotten heated. Seth would look at me hungrily, his eyes darkening and his nostrils moving as he inhaled the air around us. I had been confused at first, but then it had become clear what had happened. I had nearly died of embarrassment and frustration as I realized he could actual smell when I was aroused. Talk about a mood killer.

But, if it meant I had a werewolf best friend I would happily tolerate it.

"Going somewhere with Seth….I'll be home before curfew," I mumbled to Sue before grabbing my light jacket. It was still chilly out in the evenings as it was the middle of May.

"Hey wait!" Sue called after me. "Regan….graduation is next weekend. I think it's alright if we push curfew back a few hours."

I slid to a halt in front of the door, my eyes nearly popping out of my head. I had my 4pm curfew since before Christmas, with the exception of work at the Piggly Wiggly. Even then, Charlie picked me up in the cruiser and took me straight home.

"Wait…what?"

She smiled at me as she walked into the room. "Your curfew. I think we can maybe push it back."

"To…."

Sue swallowed nervously, licking her lips. Her dark eyes sparkled for a moment before she continued. "Eleven. But not a minute later Regan!"

I beamed at her and flew out the door. As promised, Seth was parked out front in the Bronco. I practically skipped down the sidewalk the street, jumping into the car with a bright smile.

"Hey," he laughed, taking me in. "What's got you so bright and happy?"

"Curfew got pushed back. I have until eleven tonight!"

"Wow….Charlie home?"

"No, he was going shopping for some new fishing line after work. Why?"

He grinned before putting the Bronco in park and leaning over to me. His lips crashed against mine in a welcoming kiss, and I felt myself turn into jello. He kissed me again and again, his hand finding its way to my hair. His tongue sought out mine, and together we began to taste and explore each other as we usually did. His mouth molded to mine so easily and I soon began to lust for more than just a few steamy kisses. I moaned in surprise, feeling my underwear dampen again.

Shit.

Seth leaned back, his eyes widening slightly. I watched him inhale sharply, licking his lips. I was turned on, and he could definitely smell it. "You're gonna kill me."

"I'm sorry," I squeaked, giving him my best apologetic smile. He nodded good naturedly and cleared his throat, jerking the gear shift into drive. We sped forward and soon were on our way to his house.

"So how's things?" he asked casually, glancing my way. I shrugged, fluffing my hair.

"Same old. Just glad to almost be done with high school."

"I'll bet. Prom tomorrow, huh?"

I swallowed, nodding. "Uh, yeah. Got my dress."

I watched his hands tighten against the wheel, turning white with his grip. "I bet it looks really pretty," he mumbled as we sped along.

I shrugged. "It's nice but….kinda sucks to go stag again."

"Zeke going?"

"Oh yeah. He'll be there and probably humor me with a dance or something. How is he? I see him every day, but….I mean…you get to see inside his head."

Seth nodded, grinning. "He's fine, trust me."

"He imprinted, right?"

Seth bounced his head happily, giving me a wide grin. "Oh yeah. He's so happy he's about to bust, trust me."

"So, it's a big secret who he imprinted on?"

"No, just….it's not…..really what you think it would be. She's….different, I guess."

"Different how?"

He sighed, gripping the wheel a little as we flew down the highway. "Erm….it's really his secret to tell. I only know because I've patrolled with him a few times since it's happened."

"Oh, okay," I said slowly. "Will he tell me?"

"He might."

"Well, is be bringing her to prom?"

Seth snorted. "No. But….he'll be there to dance with you, I'm sure of it."

"Oh."

I couldn't help sounding a little pathetic. Of course I knew Seth couldn't show up at my prom. The teachers and students would go crazy, and Charlie would probably have to show up and haul him off in cuffs. Wait, could cops arrest other cops? I shook my head, trying to clear my strange thoughts.

"Regan…..I'd go if I could. Believe me, I….that was one experience I didn't get. But I can't."

"I know you can't. I know you would, too, if it makes you feel any better."

He glanced over at me again, his gaze lingering on mine. "That's the important part," he said quietly, turning his eyes back to the road. We drove in silence for a little while before I thought of another question that had been burning in my mind for the past few days.

"How's….how's Brady?"

He shrugged, his eyebrows knitting together. "He's fine. Just being himself. A real joy…."

"I'm sure he's really sad. Even though Lexi….I mean, she's…."

"You can say it," he said softly. "Vampire. It's not a bad word."

"I know it isn't. I'm still getting used to it in my everyday vocabulary."

"Right, sorry."

"Well…he should be upset. Maybe try to give him a free pass to be an asshole right now."

"Oh, he's not bothering anyone with his crazy antics or anything. He's not being mean. The opposite, in fact. I'd be glad if he was back to his old ways for once. I mean, he's been….comatose."

"I know the feeling," I muttered before I could think. Seth shot me a rejected look as my mind took me back in time five months to when he left me to go to Seattle. "I'm sorry….I didn't mean that."

"No, it's okay."

I shifted in the seat, trying to move past my comment. "I hope he feels better soon. I…I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy," I admitted.

"Neither would I," Seth agreed. "But still….he's not himself. I wouldn't be either if….." he trailed off, shaking his head to himself. I knew what he was thinking. If it was you that bad been bitten. I shuddered at the thought.

We were silent the rest of the ride to his house. Stepping inside, I instantly knew something was different. It didn't feel empty; the air was sweeter if that was at all possible.

"Come on, I have something to show you," he promised, taking my hand with a happy smile. Moving quickly up the steps to the living room, I stopped in shock as I realized we were not alone.

They were all on one side of the living room, pale statues as beautiful as anything I'd ever seen. The Cullens were all lined up on the couch and chairs, some of them standing and some sitting. Running my eyes down the line, I realized they were all there: Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Bella, Esme, and even Carlisle.

"Seth…." I breathed, gripping his hand. "What….?"

"We're back from Denali," Edward finally said, moving out from behind the chair where Bella sat. "We've decided to return from Alaska a few weeks early."

I smiled and became entranced as I stared at them, watching their golden eyes focus in on me. They were all so beautiful that I had forgotten how shocking it could be to see them all in the same room. I wondered if Lexi was suddenly as beautiful as they were.

"One way to find out," Edward murmured. I hadn't even realized he answered my thought until Seth squeezed my hand. This was only the second time I had seen them the since I had found out what they really were, so I was in a state of awe. How was it possible that they were once human? They seemed to perfect to be real. What would Lexi be like?

"There is someone who wants to see you, actually," Edward spoke up. "And you can find out for yourself."

My eyes darted to Edward's, and my stomach did a flip when I remembered what Seth told me about his vampire best friend: He could read minds. With a nervous bob of my head I gripped Seth's hand harder as I waited to find out what he was talking about.

What on earth?

Seth gripped my hand back, looking down at me with an excited smile. "What is it?" I whispered.

My eye caught a slight movement in the corner of the room where the living room met the kitchen. I strained my neck to see what it was before my eyes widened in surprise.

"Lexi?"

I saw her blonde head of hair before I really got a good look at her, but I knew it was her. Stepping out slowly, she paused in the doorway and smiled at me.

"Hi."

Excitement wracked my body as I realized my friend was truly back in Forks. I had hoped she would return one day, but there was no way to be certain she ever would. I mean, I wasn't sure what to expect now that my best friend was a vampire. I gulped from across the room and began to bounce on the balls of my feet. "Hi!" I called back. She took a small step forward and smiled again, bigger this time.

"She's still new….so we're taking baby steps," Edward explained. "She's done so wonderfully with everything that….we decided we could come back early."

"Good to see ya Lex," Seth said softly, nodding at her. She grinned again, her eyes darting to Edward's. He gave her a soft shove, moving her further out from behind the post. "I…I'm back," she said softly, stepping the rest of the way into the room. I took in her appearance as my mind rapidly catalogued the changes in my friend. She still dressed the same, and had the same blonde hair. Although, it appeared slightly longer, and….shinier? I was confused as I tried to picture the old Lexi as opposed to this new one. Her tan, slightly freckled skin had been replaced by skin that was so pale she almost blended in with the white post she stood by. She was beautiful, as she always had been, only now in a different way.

Most importantly - she was still Lexi.

"Lex….Lex we missed you so much," I said softly. She nodded, her eyes suddenly sad. Wait….her eyes. I blanched in shock as I registered the strange amber color of my friend's eyes. They weren't the normal golden yellow of the Cullens - they were almost a yellow orange. They were still beautiful like the rest of her, but they were quite different from the bright blue eyes she had always had.

"It's a shock…I know. I didn't know what to think the first time I saw myself either."

"I don't care what you look like Lex…I'm just glad you came back to Forks to be honest."

"I know. I'm sorry Regan, but I had to go away for awhile….it's just so that I wouldn't hurt anyone," she said, her voice ringing out in the large room. It was still the same, but this voice seemed to be so much prettier and lighter….almost like bells. "I would have never forgiven myself if I would have hurt someone…especially you or Claire."

"She's done so well with everything," Bella spoke up softly. I smiled briefly at my cousin before turning back to Lexi.

"So…but you're back? For good?"

She smiled, nodding. "For awhile."

I beamed up at Seth and tried to not cry from the happiness I felt. I had missed my friend so much, and I knew it was a lot to ask him to visit her. My friend was a newborn vampire - Seth had educated me on how dangerous they could be, so I knew this couldn't be easy for him letting me stand in a house full of vampires and a newborn. Edward gave me sympathetic smile, and I realized he had heard my thought.

I'm not afraid of you. I trust your family for some weird reason, I thought at him.

"You are very much like Bella," he replied quietly, squeezing his wife's shoulder.

"Thanks?" I laughed. Turning my attention back to Lexi, I smiled warmly at her. "I have so much to tell you Lex. I….we missed you so much. I'm so glad you're back."

"Regan wants to talk to you alone," Edward said quietly to Lexi. She glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes a little frightened. Then, with a determined sigh, Lexi bobbed her head and turned back to look at me.

"Well….I'm trying to get used to all this still. You won't hold it against me if I bring a chaperone with me? We can still hang out," she offered meekly. She glanced to the side at Rosalie, and I saw the two of them share a tiny nod.

"Of course not, no. I….I can only image how hard this is for you. I…don't smell like a meal, right?"

She giggled, flashing her white teeth. "Actually, you must have been in close proximity to Seth over there….Regan…you stink."

Seth burst out laughing with the rest of the Cullens, throwing his arm around my shoulder. "I'm told it's like a wet golden retriever."

"I'd say that's about right," Edward agreed, wrinkling his nose.

"What do they smell like to you?" I blurted out, not thinking. "Er….sorry, don't answer that."

The Cullens all laughed their musical laughs, enchanting me for a second. They were like watching a painting of some magical group of people - it didn't look real. They were so whimsical it was like getting lost in a good book and not realizing six hours had passed. I could see how easy it would be to become fascinated with the eight of them.

"Like vinegar mixed with a sicky sweet frosting. It burned my nose at first," he laughed. They all smiled, so I took it they weren't offended by his description.

I looked back at Lexi, still unable to believe that one of my best friends was a vampire. A real life vampire. Since when did I live in a story book? And she was back! What did this mean for her? Would her family know? Did Brady realize she was home? Were they speaking? What did that mean for them? Did her becoming a vampire cancel out the imprint, or just make things more complicated?"

"Um….Rose, why don't you take the girls out on the deck," Edward suggested. "Regan has about…oh, about a thousand questions for Lexi."

Rosalie, the tall blonde vampire stood and nodded at the doors behind us. Lexi floated along beside her as they made their way to the door. I felt like I fumbled along behind them as the two of them moved gracefully onto the balcony.

"You'll be fine," Seth said when I looked back at him questioningly. I trusted the Cullens, but….they were still vampires, right? Seth wouldn't let me go if it was dangerous, I reminded myself.

We stepped outside into the crisp spring air, the early evening light casting a pale glow on the back deck. Rosalie leaned on the railing a few feet away, giving me a tight smile. Lexi was beautiful, but not as beautiful as her vampire chaperone. Rosalie was tall and lithe, with blonde hair down to the middle of her back. It hung in perfect ringlets next to a face that I'm sure men had drooled over and girls had been jealous of for decades. She looked like she was maybe eighteen or nineteen, but I couldn't help but wonder how old she really was. Turning to Lexi, I waited for her to speak as I thought about her appearance. Would she look the same way in a hundred years? My mind could barely wrap around the thought.

"So," she said slowly. "Here I am."

"I'm glad you're back…..if it helps, you look amazing," I offered meekly. What do you say to one of your best friends when she suddenly turns up a vampire? I tried to picture all of the new experiences she must have had since her change. What if I was boring to her now? What if I made her happy she had been changed? I bet she would pity me and my silly human life….

"Do I? It's not….freaky?"

"No, not at all. I mean, you actually make pale look good. Me being pale? Ulgh….it's awful. People just ask if I feel alright."

Lexi burst into a giggles, covering her mouth with her hand as her amber eyes danced. As strange as her new body was, she still….laughed like the old Lexi. Rosalie chuckled to herself, but remained quiet. I knew she was trying to give us our space and also keep me safe while trying to blend in with the scenery.

"I was worried," she laughed.

"So….are you coming back to school? Prom is tomorrow….I would love it if you would come," I offered.

"No, I can't," she said sadly, her somber face returning. "It's too dangerous. Too many humans and…" she trailed off, a sad look on her face. "it's just better if I stay away for now. Besides….we're going with the story that I…."

"That you what?"

"I guess that I was hiking by myself and just….disappeared."

"What? Hiking by yourself, Lex….that doesn't even sound like you."

"No, but that's what the Cullens made the police believe. When the FBI got involved in searching for me, they had to do something so that it wouldn't look like foul play. They set a false trail for them to follow and…and I had to pick a time when I knew…. Brady was at work to really get my story together. I had to make sure he looked innocent in all this."

"But….your dad, shouldn't he-"

"No, Regan, he can't know. Him knowing what I am would put him in danger. The only reason you know is because you're in on the secret. You have the protection of the pack behind you and they would never come after you if they knew that."

"They?"

"Just….trust me, you're safe. I wouldn't have it any other way. I know this is really all very weird, but…."

"No, it's okay. I'm getting to be really good with weird."

"Good," she said, giving me a sad smile. She reached up, gracefully pushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. She was so beautiful she almost hurt to look at her too long. She was like the sun or something. I sighed and looked at my feet, dreading my next question.

"I want to stay friends, Regan. I….I could really use a friend right now."

"I'm here for you. Say the word, Lex."

"I really appreciate that. You'll understand this whole….learning curve though? I mean…I could still hurt you. And that's the last thing I want."

"I know. But I know you can do this."

"I sure hope so," she laughed to herself.

"So….have you talked to Brady?"

Rosalie made a hissing sound and snapped her head up, making me jump.

"Rose," Lexi said firmly. Rosalie turned away, casually twirling her hair around her finger. Turning back to me, she offered me a small, lopsided smile. "Rose isn't Brady's biggest fan."

"I….uh….see that," I said, gulping. I had a feeling that angry Rosalie would be most frightening of them all. With a shiver, I turned back to Lexi as I gripped the railing on the deck.

"Seth said he's been really upset since you left. Does he know you're back?" I asked gently.

"No…I….I haven't talked to him. I don't really think it's the best thing right now."

My shoulders slumped in defeat as I gazed at her very perfect, very still vampire frame. I could tell she wasn't completely comfortable in her new body yet - not that I could blame her. It was like her brain and personality had been transferred into a new body. A better, stronger and ice cold pale body.

"Well….I just felt obligated to say something. Take it for what it is."

"Why do you say that?"

I sighed, shrugging. I didn't want to get in the middle of their relationship, but I also knew that I would want someone to say something to me if I was in her shoes.

"Seth says he just mopes around. He's not himself. He misses you."

"Regan…." she pleaded, shifting on her feet. She glanced at Rosalie nervously as the other blonde vampire stared blankly forward. I could tell she was trying to give us our space and privacy, but I couldn't help but feel like she had obviously influenced her one way or another. "What?" I asked, still slightly oblivious. I didn't get what I was missing. Brady had imprinted on her. As far as I knew, the strange force that was imprinting pretty much trumped anything and everything. Would becoming a vampire change that? Wasn't the imprint bond stronger than that? I wasn't sure of the supernatural rules involved with this satiation. Based by the look on her face, Lexi was.

"Regan….Brady and I….well….wolves and vampires….Cullens….get along. They tolerate each other. But…..but they don't try to date."

Her words hung in the chilled spring air as I stared at her dumbfounded. Well, that answered my question of whether or not becoming a vampire trumped imprinting. It obviously did. Lexi talked about Brady like he was left a bad taste in her mouth. But how could she forget how imprinting felt? I knew how I felt when I was with Seth- there was no denying how happy I was when he was present. Was it so wrong that I wanted my best friend to share the same thing? I didn't think so. But she didn't seem like she wanted really anything to do with him. I was so confused about all of this that I didn't even know where to start asking questions.

"So…what does that mean?"

"It means….I don't know what it means."

"So, you're just going to break it off?"

"There wasn't anything to break!"

"Lex…."

"Regan, please. Believe me, I've thought about this more than you can imagine. I don't sleep anymore, so that gives me about nine extra hours a night to just think. I've spent that last four months in the Alaskan backwoods doing nothing but chasing Bambi and his friends around the forest so that I can suck them dry and just try to get a grip on myself and all of these crazy emotions. I've thought about Brady and every single possibility about what I could do to fix things between us, and you know what I came up with? Nothing. Nothing, Regan, because nothing will ever fix the fact that…I'm a vampire now. I'm technically a crime against nature in fact, when you think about it. The last thing I need is to try to go to dinner and a movie with something that is genetically programmed to rip me to shreds. Because no matter how I look at it Regan, he is. He is made…put on this earth…..to kill things like me."

I stared at her, speechless. Her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I'm sorry, I…."

"No, Regan….none of this is your fault. I know you just want me to be happy. I want to be too. But I've looked at this a million ways….literally my mind let me look at this situation a million ways. Nothing seems to want to work."

"But….but Seth likes the Cullens. I think Edward is his best friend," I pointed out. "I'm sorry Lex, but…I just don't want to see you give up on this. I know how it feels to want to give up on this whole crazing imprinting thing and it's not easy. I don't want you to feel that way."

"I think Seth is a bit of an anomaly in and of himself, honestly. I mean, a werewolf who has a vampire best friend? The whole thing is too Sci-Fi channel for me. "

"I know," I laughed to myself. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders in defeat.

"I tried to stop him from leaving, you know that right?" she asked quietly, her eyes flicking back toward the house.

"You did?"

"Yes. I told him that you wouldn't ever forget him leaving."

"I haven't."

"But…you're still here with him. Pretty quick to forget about it, don't you think?"

"Lex…..I've forgiven him. I'll never forget, you're right. But all that's in the past now. I know Seth would never hurt me like that again. I trust him."

I watched as Lexi's face seemed to grow even paler if that was even possible. She nodded, glancing inside where everyone was still sitting in the living room, talking.

"The irony of this isn't lost on me. I know you think I can just forget that I'm a vampire and that Brady is a wolf and live out our freaky yet happy life forever after. But I just can't. It's not that easy."

"But-"

"-I wouldn't expect you to understand," she said softly. "I mean….you're still human. I wouldn't expect you to. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that…I'm different now."

"Well….I can accept that. I just want you to be happy and…I'm just glad you're back."

Her face softened back into a look that resembled the old Lexi and I found myself able to relax a little.

"I'm glad to be back too. Before I was changed, I was starting to think of Forks as my home. Even thought things are so different I….I still feel like I belong here," she said meekly.

I cocked my head to the side and looked at her closely. "So….can I ask what it's like?"

Lexi cracked a smile, flashing her perfectly sculpted, white teeth. "What….being a vampire?"

I nodded. I had met werewolves and vampires, but never had one of my best friends been turned into one. I was curious.

"It's…..difficult. I mean….everything is just magnified. Every thought, every emotion, every….urge. It was so much at first; I just needed to get away."

"That's good. Erm…be honest. You're not like….tempted to eat me, right?"

Lexi beamed, shaking her head at me. "No, I'm not. I was telling the truth in there, I swear. I'm really controlled for a newborn they say. Practically every day in Alaska the Cullens helped me learn how to…abstain," she said meekly. "And actually, some of Seth's scent rubbed off on you Regan and…well, you smell kinda like a wet dog."

My eyes bugled. "What?" I gasped, sniffing my shirt. I frowned and looked around as if a hideous green odor was surrounding me. "You're kidding I hope?"

"Um, no," she laughed, looking over her shoulder. She and Rosalie shared a smirk, and I felt myself blush.

"I can't believe I stink. I just showered an hour ago."

"It's nothing you did," Rosalie finally spoke. Her golden eyes twinkled at me, and I suddenly found myself with my tongue caught in a knot. Both of them were so unearthly beautiful it wasn't human. Well, I guess because they weren't.

"Well….so I stink and you both would make supermodels cry….great," I muttered, wrinkling my nose. Lexi gave me a sympathetic look and I fought the urge to throw my arms around her.

"Regan, you're beautiful. And better yet, Seth knows you're beautiful too," Lexi offered.

Rosalie nodded. "There's nothing more lovely than a woman in love," she stated poetically, the words rolling off her tongue. She gave me a warm smile before turning her attention back to the woods.

"Well….I think we're all going to run up to Canada tonight to go for a hunt. Emmett's been hankering for some bears, and well….I'm partial to Bambi, like I said," she said bashfully. "I'll be back tomorrow. I want to get a picture of you before prom."

"Really?" I asked, smiling. It was hard to fathom all of it; my newly turned vampire friend wanted to take my picture.

"Really. Um…I know this sounds crazy, but I want to live through you for the night. Promise me you'll take lots of pictures yourself?"

"Um, yeah, sure. Although, I'm probably going stag," I laughed.

"Right, right," she laughed with me. "Well….honestly Regan, going stag to a prom is a heck of a lot better than…well, this," she said, gesturing to herself.

"I guess you're right," I agreed, nodding. It was true; I felt awful for worrying about my own petty problems when Lexi had a whole new life to adjust to. Her old life had been ripped away from her without her consent, and now she was living it as graciously as she could. Her family, her humanity, and Brady had all been taken from her with one bite, and it had all been against her will.

Suddenly, my problems didn't seem too huge.

"Wow, talk about a pep talk with a vampire to put things into perspective," I said quietly, biting my lip. "I'm sorry I was whining earlier. It was stupid of me, and-"

"-no, it's not Regan. You have a life - it comes with problems. Just live it. Do the best you can with it. You're going to have problems, but…they're yours to have. Just live your life to the fullest….for those of us who can't," she said sadly, shrugging her shoulders.

I nodded, gulping back a wave of emotion. "Lex, I'm so glad you're back. I know it's not under the best circumstances…but I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," she said quietly, her amber eyes blinking softly.

I stood still for a few moments, just staring at her. She was beautiful yes, but I knew she wasn't happy. My heart went out to Lexi - none of this had been her choice. None of it had been her doing, and yet here she was - trying to be happy and exist anyway.

My problems were nothing compared to hers.

"I think we're going to leave," she said softly. "But I'll be back tomorrow."

"Well….I'll see you then?"

She nodded brightly, turning to Rosalie. I heard a few voices below us on the ground, and I peered over the railing. The rest of the Cullens stood on the mossy ground, spaced out in pairs. Rosalie nodded at me before hurling herself gracefully over the railing and landing soundlessly on the mossy floor. Lexi grinned at me.

"Time to go I guess. Tell Seth I said bye," she replied.

"Sure," I said, jamming my hands in my pockets. I watched as she turned toward the woods, spying the rest of her newly formed family on the ground below, waiting.

"See ya," she said, and with a laugh, disappeared over the railing just as Rosalie had. I watched as she hit the ground with no noise and beamed up at me.

"It does have its perks," she giggled before shooting forward. Edward caught my gaze before giving me a quick wave. And then off they went, darting into the black night. Before I knew it, the woods were silent again, as if it had all been a dream. Gripping the railing, I stared into the darkness as I let my conversation with Lexi sink in. She was right; my troubles were nothing compared to hers.

I needed to stop worrying. At least I was still human.

Seth was supernatural, but hey - at least he would eventually stop phasing and age.

My problems were nothing compared to Lexi's.

"Kinda crazy, right?"

Seth's voice on the deck behind me made me jump. Turning around, I smiled as he stood in the last remaining lights of the sun and grinned at me. It was nearly black out, but I could still see his outline in the darkness.

"Yeah. Did you hear all that?"

He nodded yes, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Yup."

I stared at his outline in the dim light, my heart warming suddenly. I flew at him without warning, throwing my arms around his warm body. I hugged him tightly, his arms circling my body without question. Squeezing his body against mine, I inhaled his warm, woodsy scent that had become so familiar to me in the past few years.

"I'm not complaining, but….what's this for?"

"I just….just hug me. Please," I stuttered, digging my nose into his shirt. He obliged, embracing me back tenfold.

We stood there holding each other for several more minutes; although…..it felt like we were healing each other. I knew Seth had hurt me in the past and we had our problems, but….honestly, Lexi had made me realize that was all nothing.

I had no real problems compared to hers.

"Can we watch a movie?" I asked, turning my head up to look at him.

"Um, sure?"

"I just want to sit with you. Is that….okay?"

"Hey, they left until tomorrow. It's just you and me. I think they knew we wanted some…privacy."

"Don't take me home until ten fifty nine, okay?"

"Deal," he chuckled, scooping me up. I screamed jubilantly and gripped his neck, giggling as he made his way back inside the Cullen house.

I needed just enjoy my time with Seth. If I had learned anything from Lexi, it was that I needed to live my life to the fullest and love with every ounce of my heart. I never knew when one breath would be my last, and I wanted to live with no regrets.


	51. Chapter 51

Regan

An hour later, we were still on the couch in the family room, Seth's arm slung around my shoulders as we watched a movie. For as chic as the Cullen's living room appeared, the furniture was plush and comfortable. I easily sank into Seth's side as the movie played. I curled into him like I was made to fit there, under his arm. I was mainly just basking in the feeling of just being able to lean against his arm and feel the warmth of his body next to mine. I looked up at him, expecting to see him engrossed in the manly movie that was playing on the TV screen. Instead though, I was shocked to see him looking straight at me.

"I wish you didn't have to be home so soon," he said softly, reaching up to stroke my cheek. I leaned into his touch, sighing. His voice was low and gravelly as he spoke, making my insides clench again. That voice always managed to do something do me below the belt. His hand dropped slightly, reaching to take mine. His rough fingers stroked my palm. It wasn't supposed to be sexual, but I still found my mind wandering.

"You want me to stay?" I teased lightly, knowing full well that what I had just suggested was an impossible thing. He smirked slightly, giving me a nod as I raised my free hand to touch his chest.

"I always want you to stay, Regan," he mumbled, looking away. He frowned at the television, his expression reminding me of a pouting little boy. I laughed, looking back at the screen as my hand played with the front of his shirt. I kept my movements light, but I could still feel the heat of his muscular chest beneath the material.

To say it beckoned me was putting it lightly.

I knew I was teasing him and yet somehow I knew he didn't mind. I watched him stare at me in the corner of my eyes, pretending to be engrossed in the moving playing. I could care less who the blonde spy on the screen blew up next. Every nerve ending in my body was paying attention to Seth.

Only Seth.

After a few more moments of resisting, I looked over at him. "What?" I challenged.

"Nothing," he finally said, a grin breaking through his pout. We were silent for a moment, just staring at each other with smirks on our faces. We knew what would happen next, and neither of us wanted to play around any longer.

We knew it was inevitable.

More importantly though, our bodies knew it was inevitable.

Slowly, he lowered his face to mine and pressed his lips against my mouth. A low groan from his chest confirmed that he wanted this as much as I did. He kissed me again, slower this time. It was slow and teasing as he dragged his lips over mine. Sometimes when he kissed me like this I knew he was trying to savor it. We never knew when we could be like this again. His lips crashed against mine again and again, his mouth opening to deepen the kiss. His tongue sought entrance between my lips, and I readily agreed, letting him taste me. I moaned against my will; I always hated it when I made an embarrassing noise like that. Seth didn't seem to notice. If he did, he didn't care.

He leaned even closer to me on the couch, his tongue still gently caressing mine with each deep kiss. A low, serene growl came from deep within his chest, and the noise did nothing to calm me. Instead, my hand found the back of his neck and tugged him closer.

It felt amazing to kiss him like that. No one to walk in on us, no one to catch us. He was all I had ever wanted all I ever could want. Getting to kiss him like I meant it was one of the single most wonderful feelings ever. The more I thought about it, the more carried away I became, pawing and grabbing at the front of his shirt like a wanton woman.

We broke apart breathless again, panting this time. I wanted more.

Sitting up, I threw my leg over his lap, quickly settling myself on top of him. The look of pleasant surprise on his face was just what I needed to keep him pinned beneath me. In fact, it was priceless. Better than a kid a Christmas morning. He was excruciatingly beautiful like this; his breaths labored, he cheeks flushed, and his eyes bright and wild. He looked so truly excited and happy to have me there with him that I almost got lost in the moment as I stared down at him.

"Kiss me, Regs. Don't make me wait," he whispered with a laugh. I still got butterflies when he used words like 'kiss me' and then my name in the same sentence.

I could still hardly believe he was mine.

I smiled to myself, leaning down to kiss him sweetly. His eyes opened slowly as I finished my kiss. He looked completely delirious, but in a good way.

I did it again and again and again and then finally, unable to resist, I dipped my head down and kissed him harder. He tasted like candy; probably because he was always eating candy but I didn't care. He was marvelous. I rocked myself on his lap, molding our bodies together in my mind. Clothes kept us from doing what I wanted to do with him, but I would take what I could get. He sighed between kisses, his arms circling my waist as he pulled me closer.

"Regs," he groaned.

I giggled. "Yes?"

One minute we were kissing, making out like two horny teenagers and then the next- don't ask me what happened. It was like a firecracker went off, igniting the dormant but not yet dead spark between us. He pushed my zip up hoodie off my shoulders one moment, then the feeling of his hot, coppery skin against mine made me practically combust with need. His muscled body beneath mine made me come unhinged.

I was hungry for him.

Something about the way his body felt against mine was like…like the joy of hearing my favorite song. The relief of an icy glass of water on a hot day. The rush of a roller coaster. I could go on and on trying to describe the way he made me feel when we were together – really together – like this.

His strong hands poured over my arms, shoulders, down my chest, and around my waist. Rising back up, he cupped my breasts through my tank top as I shifted my hips. I felt his hardness through his jeans and heard myself sigh. I hadn't been with him since before Christmas and my body was screaming for him to give me what I wanted. I didn't think of myself as a needy girl when it came to sex, but...I needed him.

I had stuck to my guns and been mistrusting of him for long enough. Tonight I wanted him.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his in another searing kiss. He moaned in surprise, his hands sliding up my chest and neck to cup my face. My body pinned his against the back of the couch as I attacked him with deep, needy kisses. Taking his bottom lip in mine, I nipped him softly and laughed at my own desperation.

"Please," I half whined, half chuckled.

He smiled against my lips, his white teeth parting as he grinned at me.

"You're sure?"

"Never more sure," I replied.

"Here?"

"Anywhere," I begged. I would join with him on the front lawn if that was the only option at this point. My body missed his, if that was even possible.

Seth Clearwater was like a drug, and I….well, I was like an addict.

We kissed deeply after that, our mouths connecting like our lives depended on it. It was funny really, how desperate your kisses can become when you want someone so much. Our breaths were labored and heavy as our hands roamed all over each other. I tugged at the hem of his t-shirt, practically ripping it off his body. We broke apart so that I could get it off his head, our deep breaths echoing off the walls of the small, dark room. The television blared as the long forgotten movie showed in the background, neither of us caring anymore. I moved my hips against his. This time is was his turn to moan.

"Are you sure?" he panted against my neck, placing an open mouthed kiss against my collar bone. I nodded, fisting his inky locks in my hand as his tongue darted out to taste my skin. I felt him suck lightly, making my body shudder.

"Oh god yes," I muttered, forcing my mouth to his. I know I sounded desperate but…I was. My skin pricked as I felt his fingertips grazing the material at the bottom of my tank top. The clothing on my body was suddenly heavy as it begged to come off.

"I want…" he trailed off, his voice scratchy and perfect. Something about the raspiness there made me want to tie him to a bed and never let him go. His hands yanked at my tank top, reading my mind. I followed his lead, helping him pull it off and toss it to the ground. Our pieces of clothing hit the floor one by one, and soon we were completely naked on the Cullen's couch. I couldn't help myself; it had been too long since I had been with Seth, and I wasn't going to let this rare chance escape me.

"They won't….care, right?" I panted, watching as he grabbed his wallet from the floor.

"Um, no," he laughed. "The Cullen's are paired off and they can be…ah, rather amours if caught in the right mood with their mate. I think they would understand."

"Okay, I'll take your word for it, moving myself closer. We were side by side on the large, overstuffed couch. It was big enough for both of us but just small enough that we had to be smashed together or Seth would fall off. He opened his wallet, pulling out a condom with an embarrassed look.

"I was prepared this time," he admitted, finally grinning at me. I felt myself grow a bit more turned on at the idea that he had thought this would happen again. I wasn't sure if it would, given the current state of things. We had been close, but not this close to anything in months. Before Christmas, in fact. I was elated to finally have things back to the way I wanted them. Or in my opinion, how we needed them. I wasn't going to argue with a six foot two, naked, muscled man.

Especially when he was naked.

"Good," I whispered, grabbing his shoulder. I pulled him down on top of me as we sprawled horizontally on the couch. _

I felt bad for doing this in the Cullen's family room, but I was desperate. Seth's body settled on top of mine as soon as he had our protection in order. I knew we didn't want any more slip ups like we had last fall. He rolled it on at lightning speed and I felt myself blush as he rolled between my legs. I could feel the sheathed hardness of him against my thigh, and I was suddenly nervous.

My eyes flicked up meet his in the dim room. The action movie was still playing in the background, casting a flickering light across the planes of his tan face.

"Hi," he offered meekly, a giggle slipping from his lips.

"Um, hi," I laughed back. He lowered himself against my body, his searing skin melting against mine. It felt good, but also foreign. I had missed this; it had been too long and I never wanted to be away from him like that again.

"You're sure?" he asked.

"Of course I am," I laughed nervously. He nodded biting his lip. His body shifted against mine, and soon after I could feel his manhood against me. Arching my back, I closed my eyes and slid down on the couch to better align our bodies. I could feel his excitement pulsing against me as I felt myself grow wetter.

"Seth," I sighed, pulling him down. He hovered above me as he pushed himself against my hips. A warm euphoria spread over me as he pushed himself inside.

Stretching.

Again.

Oh God.

I bit my lip as my body grew accustomed to his once again. I had forgotten the sheer size of him in these past lonely months, and now I was paying for it. I groaned as he slid further in. After a few uncomfortable moments, my body welcomed him as the first burst of pleasant nostalgia washed over me. Would it be like that every time?

I moaned and arched my hips up to meet his. There. That felt better. Warmer. Familiar. He sighed into my shoulder, dropping a wet kiss on my skin.

"Regan," he breathed, his voice gravelly again. He thrust against my hips, deeper this time. I felt my eyes roll back in my head slightly as I let the feeling of his body joined with mine take over.

"Mmm," I answered. All I could do was hum contentedly as his hips moved in synch against mine. Again and again he plunged into me, his movements soothing my frazzled, needy thoughts. I grasped the couch cushion beneath my fingertips, pushing the thought that we were on the Cullen's couch out of my head. We hadn't even bothered to pause the movie. Guns fired and bombs went off on screen as we blissfully ignored them. I tried not to laugh as I thought about the explosion Seth was about to induce from me if he kept this up.

As if he could read my thoughts, he grabbed my bare hip with his hot hand, thrusting with more purpose. I watched his head fall back in sheer enjoyment as he hovered over me.

"I missed this," he whispered, dripping his head to rest against mine. I nodded in agreement, suddenly unable to speak. Lexi had been right. I had it easy compared to her. I needed to let everything else go and enjoy my life with Seth, because I never knew what the future would bring. I was hit with so much emotion that I could have cried. I almost did. Instead, I focused my attention to the beautiful man that was on top of me and making me feel like I could fly.

Looking up, I watched as his eyes fell closed. I reached up, brushing a strand of sweaty hair out of his eyes. His hair was shaggier now, and I had to admit that I kind of liked it that way. He looked positively wild as he moved in the flickering light of the movie in the background. The broad planes of his tan chest rippled, making his muscular body look even more appealing than ever. His arm hooked around my leg, moving around the curve of his hip. The new angle made my back arch in pleasure. He hit a spot deep inside that made me clench against him, desperate for him to never stop. My body shuddered from the inside out, my body wracked with the tingling, firework feeling of going over the edge.

"There," I whimpered, biting my lip to keep from screaming. He chuckled to himself before sliding his nose down my chest. I could feel his hot breath against my breast, and I felt my nipples pebble even more as my body anticipated what was to come. Reverently, he circled it with his tongue before taking it into his mouth and sucking lightly. I turned my head and moaned into the pillow as another wave of pleasure hit me. His warmth mixed with the rigorous workout we were giving each other was making the room steamy, or at least if felt that way to me. I began to sweat as he moved above me. It was like he could read my body like a book. He rose up on his knees, keeping my leg up against his hip. I let my eyes fall closed as his thrusts got harder and deeper.

I balked for a second at the change in position, never having done anything like this before. I was splayed across the couch as he stared down at me, his intense chocolate eyes taking in the view. I was suddenly worried about what he would think of me on display like this – boobs jiggling, stomach pooch exposed, every flaw magnified by his thrusts. Did other girls worry about things like that during a time like this? I tried my best to push my doubts and fears aside and enjoy it, but….it was difficult. I was enjoying this new angle, but I couldn't help but feel like it wasn't my most flattering angle. This was different – the other two times we had been together like this had been more…tame. His Bronco was dark and cramped, and his bedroom had been practically pitch black. Most of my experiences with sex in the past had been pretty vanilla – the backseat of a car, in someone's twin bed. I hadn't even known to experiment with different positions at the age of sixteen. My main goal then had been not to get caught.

I swallowed and tried to focus.

Not on my jiggling breasts and imperfect stomach, but…on the way he was making me feel.

I was still self-conscious, but….

But now I wasn't sixteen.

I was eighteen, technically closer to nineteen.

I was a girl then.

I was a woman now.

This was still Seth, my best friend, but this was also Seth…my wolf.

I bit my lip at the thought. Confidence bloomed through my limbs as he grabbed my other leg, pulling me up to meet his hips. I clamped my ankles above his firm, round ass and finally stopped thinking.

I let myself start enjoying.

And why not? This man, this perfect man…was certainly not looking for my flaws. In fact, as he stared down at me with his lust-filled, determined and even wild eyes….he was anything but. His gaze was concentrated but almost encouraging as we moved together. I felt his arms flex around my calves, bringing me back to the present moment. In the dim, flickering light I could see the beads of sweat forming on his brow. One slid down his chest, getting lost in the caramel dips and curves that were his perfect chest. I felt myself grow wetter.

"Is this…okay?" he panted.

I must have been quite the woman to make even a shape shifter pant like that. I felt a rush of joy.

I could only nod between thrusts.

It was more than okay.

It was fucking fantabulous.

His gaze grew darker, if that was even possible. "Fuck…" he half whispered, half groaned quietly.

"What?" I panted, reaching my hand up. I let it fall against his stomach, watching with fascination as it contracted and rippled under my touch. His skin burned pleasantly against my fingertips, as if to remind me that he was real and not a mythical Greek creature. And then he spoke.

"I….I just want you so bad."

I thought a moment as I watched him. His hand reached out and cupped one of my breasts, his warm palm squeezing it. I let out a tiny cry as his touch made me clench around his length.

So good.

"You have me," I whispered.

My words did something to him. It was all I could think so say, really. His movements slowed, becoming less about speed and more about purpose. One hand held my legs steady around his waist while he slid, fingertips first, down my chest. Reverently. Over my stomach, down my pelvis, and finally to the spot between my legs. He took a deep breath of the air in the now muggy room and touched me with the pad of his thumb.

I think I screamed, or maybe that was just in my head, I'm not sure. Either way it was complete bliss.

We let ourselves go in that moment.

He groaned into the air, his entire body flexing and tensing up. Somewhere in the midst of my own little utopia I felt him spasaming right along with me. He toppled over me on the couch as we both came down from our temporary euphoria.

"Oh my Lord," I panted, licking my lips. I had been with guys before Seth, but absolutely nothing came close to the feelings that overcame me when we were together. He paused on top of me, his weight adding to the delicious Jell-O-like feeling that was spreading through my limbs. He brushed his nose against mine and sighed deeply, his warm breath blowing on my face.

"Is that the best you got?" I nearly gasped.

He grinned boyishly at me.

"Nah. Saving some of it for your graduation."

I felt myself blush at the thought.

He rolled over on his side, yanking the soft throw off the back of the couch. Covering us, I snuggled into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder as we both tried to recover our breath.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of that," he finally said, grabbing the remote and silencing the TV. I could only nod in agreement and giggle to myself. My body felt boneless as I lay there beside him, but I wasn't complaining.

"Me either," I admitted, shifting my head. I gazed up at him, silently hoping I wouldn't ever have to be away from him again. We had turned another page in our relationship…or this imprint thing…and it was a change that couldn't be ignored.

We needed each other now more than ever.

Seth watched me closely, seeming to read my mind. His face was so relaxed that his dark eyes looked like slits against his tan, flushed cheeks. He was so perfect to me. I was suddenly overwhelmed that it was me lying there beside him and not someone else. How had the universe dealt me such a hand? I had made so many mistakes in my past and done so many things wrong. Now that things were turning around, I couldn't help but wonder what I had done right. I was lucky to have a friend that I could love so much and who I knew returned it back to me.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, brushing my hair off my cheeks.

"I just...love you," I admitted.

"I love you too," he chuckled, pecking me on the cheek.

"You know what I always thought? Even when we first met?" I asked quietly, tracing a small circle on his chest. He shuddered slightly

"What?"

"Well, I told you this once before but…Seth, you'd be hard not to love," I said, voicing the thought I'd always had. It felt good to say it to him now, even better to watch him smile as he heard it.

"So are you."

I had to laugh. "I am so hard to love. I'm terrible! You had to make it through my terrible teens! I still have a year, in fact."

"Yeah well…I'll be here. I'll be here forever, Regs. I love you. Call me crazy, but…I just do. I love you. I always have. Even before we met I…I knew you were out there. You had to be. I loved the thought of you."

"I wish you could have been there for me…before. Before Forks."

"I think I was. I my mind. My dreams. I think I was there. I think that's what brought you to me. Does that sound stupid? Or….lame?"

"No," I laughed. "Not at all. I'm glad it did," I agreed. I lifted my head up, pressing my lips to his to seal our words. The kiss quickly grew more passionate, but that's as far as it went. We stayed together on the couch for another half hour or so. We stayed naked, pressed up against each other for as long as we could. Such closeness healed anything that was wrong with the world. Eventually we got dressed and headed back to Charlie's. But…I found myself longing for the day when I would never have to leave his side.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Can I get a number four with cheese fries?" Claire turned to me, raising an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

I glanced at the neon menu, groaning internally. "Um, a number six. Plus cheese curds and a large Coke," I muttered, shoving my cell phone back into my purse. I winced as Claire ordered our greasy fast food mix. It was the day after my tryst on the Cullen house with Seth, and although I was happy things were a little bit back to normal between us, it was a stark reminder that I was going to prom tonight stag. We were supposed to be at her house, primping for the dance, but our enthusiasm had waned. I had gotten to her house bright and early this morning, but both of us were so wrapped up in everything else that prom seemed pretty minor. Rosalie and Emmett had brought Lexi by Claire's house that morning for a supervised visit. Claire was shocked and of course saddened to know that her friend had been turned into what the wolves sought to destroy. Seth had explained that the Cullens were much different, but I understood that it still didn't bode well for Lexi's relationship with Brady. Or what was left of it. Claire had taken to the news of her change as I had; in shock, but we were both happy to see her again. Vampire or not, she was still our friend. I knew Claire was happy to see her, but any happiness she felt was overshadowed by what she was going through with Quil. Apparently their relationship had taken a backward turn recently as well. Seth had explained Quil and Claire's 'special' relationship with me several weeks ago.

"I wanted to die when he just…dropped my hand. Or kill him,"she added with a growl. They had gone to the movies the night before on a date, and he had quickly dropped her hand when they saw people they recognized. Claire couldn't have been more heartbroken. "I guess I'm just a big secret after all."

"He's probably just waiting for the right time," I added hopefully.

"Maybe. But he makes such a big deal about the fact that I'm not his little 'Claire-bear' anymore. I mean….I think he'd rather have me be six again and have us be best friends rather than….well…what you and Seth have."

I swallowed roughly, trying to put myself in Quil's shoes. "Yeah but Claire…maybe he's still getting used to you growing up. It would be hard to be frozen at twenty something most of your life as you waited for your…imprint or whatever to grow up. It's hard to wrap your head around. Maybe Quil's just…freaking out a bit."

She huffed. "Well he needs to knock it off. I'm eighteen and he's had months to get used to my being an adult. I'm ready to knock boots again."

I nodded, my eyes widening when I realized what she said. "Wait, AGAIN!"

She nodded, blushing. "Yeah, sorry. It was when you and Seth were…having troubles. I didn't to brag about losing my v-card while you were all mopey and not getting any."

I exhaled sharply, not sure what to say. Claire had a way of dropping these word bombs that had a tendency to rock my world sometimes. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Leave it to Claire to plan something like jumping Quil's bones. Before Christmas and the whole Charlie debacle we had gone to Port Angeles one day to a clinic. Not that she had to convince me very much to go with her – after my unprotected slip up with Seth I knew that getting on some form of birth control was one of the smarter things I could do. Claire had insisted she was doing it to help regulate her cycle, but I wasn't fooled. In all my misery I had put the trip out of my mind, and taking my pill every day was just part of my routine.

"So….you did it? With Quil?"

She nodded. "I kinda…talked him into it. It's a long story. I may have coerced him to do it. Do you…um…remember your first time?"

I blinked at her a few times, finally nodding. "Kinda. I'd been um…drinking. But I remember it kinda hurt. And then it was over. I remember thinking I didn't know what the big deal was about sex."

"Right," she mumbled, rolling down her window. She handed the woman some money and we sat in silence for a minute.

"Claire were you…disappointed?"

She turned to me, her brown eyes a little wide. "No…I mean…you promise not to tell?"

"Of course."

"I was just…I thought it would be different. I'm just stupid I guess. I thought it would be all rainbow and butterflies after but he just…he kept looking at me like he'd just defiled me. It wasn't…the mood in the room wasn't awkward or tender or loving or any of the stupid things it's supposed to be after you have sex for the first time. He was just…it was like he was disappointed."

"I doubt it Claire," I said softly. "Have you guys talked about it or…done it again?"

She sighed, nodding. "Just once. I practically had to beg him. He was just all shaky and he started to sweat and…he saw that I actually had lingerie on and he just kinda went comatose. Good thing I was on top," she added wistfully, taking her change and rolling up the window. From the tone of her voice, it didn't sound like she was going to say anything else about it so I left it alone. We got our greasy food and parked on the town square to eat. Claire pushed up her sunglasses miserably, grumbling to herself as she unwrapped her burger. I stared at the new town library that was being completed. I knew Brady had helped restore it and build the new section, and once again my mind was taken back to Lexi.

"What would you do if you were her? Lexi, I mean."

Claire paused, stuffing another cheese fry into her mouth. "Why?"

"She just seemed upset the other night when I…suggested she call him."

"Can't say that I blame her. I'm no expert but um…I would think vampire-werewolf relationships are a bit frowned on."

"But that doesn't mean it's wrong."

"No, of course not. It's not about right or wrong though. He's programmed to kill her, tolerate her at best…not love her."

"But she's his imprint. He is programmed to love her, isn't she?"

Claire shrugged. "Yeah, but how far does imprint love go?"

We ate in silence for a moment as I thought about her words. "I was just thinking about her. It could have been either one of us that got bitten by that vampire if you think about it."

"I do," she said slowly, taking a swig of her Coke. "But it wasn't. I mean, I talked to her last night and she didn't seem to have any regrets. She wouldn't rather be dead. At least this way she can actually…experience something. If Lex did anything, I think she lived her human life to the fullest. She seemed content with everything.

"Yeah, but she and Brady were just starting to like…really enjoy being together and then bam! You know? It was all just…gone."

"I think we should let them sort it out."

"Are you telling me to butt out?"

"No, but I'm telling you that our best friend is now a vampire, Regan. Who knows what's going on with her right now? I say we back off and just..okay fine, I guess I am telling you to butt out."

I huffed and sat back in the seat, taking another bite of my cheeseburger. I knew she was right of course; I had no right to force my ideas on Lexi. But was it so bad that I just wanted to help my friend out?

I was distracted when Claire's phone rang suddenly. She frowned and picked it up. "It's a Forks area code," she muttered. "Hello?"

I heard a bright, chimey voice ring through on the other end, and Claire's face lit up with recognition. She nodded a few times, saying some 'okays' and 'uh huhs' before hanging up with a look of surprise on her face.

"What was that about?"

"We…we've been invited to prom. By Alice Cullen."

"I'm…not sure we can take a vampire to our high school prom."

"NO," Claire laughed. "She's invited us to Seth's house. We're having our prom there. With our wolves."


	52. Chapter 52

Seth

"You're sure about this, Alice? This isn't...weird?"

The tiny vampire in front of me paused, her eyes going hazy for a second. I ignored the burning in my nose to watch her closely as she finished tying my tie.

"I'm...sure," she said quietly, smoothing out a few imaginary wrinkles. I was impeccably dressed, thanks to her. And nervous. I gave her a skeptical look and she caved, her golden eyes perplexed.

"Alright, I'm about ninety percent sure."

"I thought you couldn't see my future?"

Her bright golden eyes flicked up to mine and she feigned horror before gesturing to the room around us. "Um, hello? How could teenage girls not love what I have created here, Seth? Work with me now, am I the only one who has vision?"

I rolled my eyes and brushed some sweat away from my brow. I wasn't hot – I was nervous. Even though it was taking place in what used to be my living room, this was my first official prom.

Prom at twenty eight.

It was strange for sure, but...I would take strange. Regan was good with strange so far, and I would have given up anything last year just to have one dance with her at her junior prom. I was actually rather thankful that Alice had dreamt up this idea of a wolves and imprints only prom. It gave us, old guys, a chance to dance with our imprints and not feel like a creep doing it.

"They will love it. Trust me," she assured me.

"When will they be here?"

"I told them to be ready by seven; the limo will be there to pick them up at seven fifteen...so any minute now."

I swallowed nervously. Alice had presented the idea of a 'wolf friendly prom' to me the day before. I made her promise it would be good, and as usual, she had delivered. The house, especially the living room, had been transformed in true Alice fashion. She had made sure every corner was decked out to look like, what I assumed, a real prom setting. There was an area cleared for a dance floor with flashing lights, glitter backdrop for pictures, and three white tables where I assumed we would be eating. I was just grateful that Regan would get something that resembled a real prom. That was all that mattered to me.

Esme and Bella had been in the kitchen all day preparing a meal so we wouldn't have to worry about going out to dinner. Twinkling lights hung from the ceiling, making the confetti placed on the flat surfaces shine like glitter. The colorful lights made the nearly all white room look like a flashing party. It looked amazing, but I just hoped Regan would enjoy it.

I also hoped she didn't mind skipping out on her senior prom to come here with me.

Quil walked into the room looking like he was going to puke. Rosalie came flitting in behind him, darting in front of him to straighten his tie. He winkled up his nose and ignored her fussing. I had to laugh to myself – ever since Lexi's change, Rosalie had become something of a big sister or mother to Lexi. Rosalie wasn't what I would normally label as 'maternal', however, I could understand why the two were drawn to each other. Both had lost their human lives before they had ever really even begun.

Although Lexi had taken it in greater stride than I understood Rosalie had, I guessed the two had formed a bond. Rose had been the first person she saw upon waking, and the rest had been history. Not that I could blame her – Rosalie was beautiful and could be very kind when she wanted to be, especially now that someone desperately needed her help. I had always thought that Rosalie was practically oozing maternal instincts; Edward once told me that she wanted her own baby more than anything. She had been excellent and doting when dealing with her niece, so I felt better about Lexi's situation with the knowledge that Rosalie I somewhat adopted her. The older vampire had shown her a lot about her new life - both the perks and downfalls, so I understood how Lexi would be drawn to her in a time of need.

"I still don't understand why you need to be here..."Quil growled quietly, leaning away. Rosalie huffed and brushed the front of his suit off with her hands.

"Because Lexi is still in her newborn year. There will be two human girls here tonight, and I want to be here for her if she's tempted, that's why. She is still very much in need of a support system in her new life. Besides...if anyone has a chance at restraining a newborn, it's my husband."

Emmett walked up behind her, nodding at Quil. "Imagine me as the chaperone. Crazy, right?"

Quil nodded, giving me an incredulous look as the pair busied themselves with the music playlist for the evening. "Just give it a rest. They wanted to do this for us so that we could have one night. Appreciate it. Remember last year? Bitching and moaning in the bushes?"

Quil growled under his breath and pulled at his suit. I had to laugh. He was usually very even-tempered, but I could tell this was something that wasn't on his list of top ten favorite things. However, I knew that once Claire arrived, he would be more than willing to participate. I had patrolled with him a lot lately, and I had seen his mind. Claire was at the front of almost every thought he had. Their relationship was rocky at best, and I was hoping tonight would help them figure things out. I also hoped it would help another one of my friends.

Movement in the doorway of the room caught my eye. Turning, I smiled when I realized who was there. Lexi stood in the doorway of the large room, looking more supermodel than teenage vampire in her long gown. The flowy, bright material faded from a deep purple to a violet, making her pale skin almost luminescent in the dim party light. She smiled awkwardly, gesturing to herself.

"So, um...how do I look?"

Rose and Emmett both gave her a thumbs up from the corner that was serving as a DJ booth, and I gave her a whoop of approval.

"You look like a million bucks. You sure you're wanting mangy old Brady as your date?"

She nodded, looking at the floor bashfully. I'm sure she would have blushed if she could have. "I hope so. I called him and asked him to come here tonight...just as friends."

"He'd be silly not to, Lexi. Seriously, you look great," I offered, walking over to her. She reached her hands out, clasping them in mine. Her cool skin made me want to jump, but I tried my best not to let that show as I squeezed my friend's hand in mine. "You look beautiful. Really. Brady would be a fool to...well, he needs to at least talk to you."

"You think so too?"

"Of course I do. Vampire or not, you guys have stuff you need to talk about. Even if you're not sure where things are headed."

"I know. I invited him here to just see...well, if he would even entertain the idea of being friends. I mean...I know I've changed, but I still...have lingering feelings."

I nodded. "I'm sure he does, too. Regardless, you guys need to chat. He'll be here, Lexi, don't worry."

She swallowed and looked up at me, her amber eyes worrisome. "I hope so. All I do these days is think. And hunt. But mostly think," she laughed nervously. I squeezed her hands again before giving her a tight hug.

"You'll do just fine. Just don't eat my date," I laughed.

Lexi giggled, licking her lips. "Well, Rose and Em took me on a hunt earlier today, and I pretty much gorged myself. I went shopping yesterday and bought my own dress in a store, and I didn't kill anyone then. Besides...make sure you get enough wolf stink on your girl, and I won't want to touch her anyway," she added with a wink.

I laughed and was finally glad that Lexi seemed to be doing better. She still had the whole nervous-teenager thing about her, but this was refreshing. For the first time since her change, she was more Lexi than newborn.

"So you swear you're not mad? This is good?"

Regan huffed a little, turning around to give me a stink eye for a moment. Esme cleared her throat, making her whip back around and give her a dazzling smile. We were in the middle of pictures on the back deck. The girls had just arrived, and we were busy getting group shots, and soon, couple pictures. Esme snapped away with her camera, Rosalie with hers, and Alice dutifully had Regan and Claire's cameras in her charge.

"Will you do just one more?" Claire begged Alice, giving her a pleading look. Alice nodded playfully over the top of the camera, laughing as Claire pulled Quil's arm around her tighter.

"They look like they're doing well," Regan noted, clasping her hand in mine once we were finished.

I grinned at them as Alice clicked away. "Yeah, they're better than they were six months ago."

"Things are a lot better than they were six months ago...all around," she added, wrapping her arm around me. I smiled again and kissed the top of her head.

"You look gorgeous. Did anyone tell you that, yet?"

"Yes, but my most important person just did," she whispered, beaming up at me. I leaned against the railing of the Cullen's deck, my arm around my girl. We weren't at a real prom, but Alice had done everything to make this feel as real as possible. A limo had picked the girls up at Claire's house, where they were getting ready, and now, we were taking pictures on the back deck. We would soon get to sit down at dinner, and then, there would be some fun dancing later on. I also secretly hoped we would get to sneak off and have some dirty fun like most lucky guys did on prom night.

"This is a hundred times better than last year," she mused, glancing around. All of the Cullens were in attendance, watching proudly as we enjoyed our big night. Rosalie stood off to the side, fluffing a piece of Lexi's hair.

"Oh my God, Lexi, you look amazing!" Claire trilled, racing over to her. Lexi beamed, flashing her white teeth.

"You think?"

"Yes, oh my gosh...girl picture! Come on guys..."

I laughed again as the three girls took their place on the deck, Claire and Regan on either side of Lexi. Both human girls politely ignored what, I'm sure, was Lexi's icy cold skin as they leaned in together for a group picture. I watched her carefully, trying to be casual about it. Her hands were clasped in front of her body, her jaws clenched in what I'm sure was an iron grip as she held her breath. She was doing everything she knew how to behave herself. I knew I had nothing to worry about – Lexi was controlled and well fed, and I had Edward and Jasper on my side to help the mood should things turn...uhm...thirsty.

"She's fine. She's more worried about Brady than a meal," Edward assured me. I laughed, nodding at him.

"Understandable," I chuckled, "The perils of being a teenage girl."

I knew Lexi could handle being with her friends. I really wasn't worried she would turn one of them into dinner. I was more worried Brady would be an asshole and ignore her invitation to come tonight. Rejection was the last thing she needed right now, and I would personally kick his ass for not showing up and at least talking to her.

"You're a good friend," Edward chuckled, "But I don't think you have to worry."

Every supernatural head on the back deck whipped around suddenly, all eyes landing on Brady. He stood in the corner of the deck, hands in the pockets of his suit. I heard Lexi gasp, Rosalie growl, and Jasper snicker as he slapped a wad of money into Emmett's palm.

"Brady...you're...you're here," Lexi breathed, her amber eyes wide.

Brady nodded, trying to remain cool. Which, I could see would be difficult – the Cullens were all giving him a look that, I'm sure, made him feel like he was at the mercy of a firing squad.

"Let's...go inside. Dinner should be about ready," Esme suggested quietly, nodding to everyone. We shuffled inside, giving the two of them some privacy.

"Wow...crazy. But did you see the way they looked at each other? That was just...wow!" Regan exclaimed, shaking her head to herself. Her hair was down and in chocolate waves down her bare back, and I found myself wanting to touch every inch of her pale skin. While the rest of the family made themselves scarce, Esme began setting our two separate little tables that sat in the corner of the room. Quil and Claire sat down, but I dragged Regan over to the windows.

"I have something for you. For tonight. I hope you'll like it," I said, holding up my hands. "Wait here."

Dashing into the kitchen, I shared a smile with Esme, who was still cooking, as I grabbed Regan's present from the refrigerator. I had wanted to get her a corsage, never having purchased one for a girl before, but Rosalie had suggested something different. I proudly presented Regan with the fresh, miniature bouquet of pink and purple flowers. She gasped in surprise, accepting the gift with a huge smile.

"Seth, this is so pretty! But...what is it?"

I shrugged. "Apparently, back in Rose's time...erm...this is what a guy got a girl before a dance or a swanky party."

Rosalie looked up from the corner where she stood with Emmett, picking out music. "It's actually called a nosegay, Regan," she called. "The gents only got them for the girls they were really wild about. For when a plain old corsage wouldn't do," she added with a wink.

"It's so pretty," she breathed. "I...no one has ever gotten me anything like this, oh thank you, Seth," she whispered, leaning over to hug me. I returned her embrace, just happy that I could do something special for her. After she hugged me, I cupped her face in my hands, her smooth skin burning pleasantly against mine.

"You're sure this is okay? You're not missing out on anything?"

She beamed. "No, Seth, I swear. This is so much better than last year. You're here with me, and this is going to be so much fun. Now please...let's just enjoy this."

I nodded, taking her hand in mine. "Deal."

And who was I to disobey her? I took her advice and just tried to enjoy my first prom. We ate a nice dinner together, talking and laughing. I held her hand over the table and didn't feel an ounce of guilt about it. Judging from the look on Quil's face, he was enjoying himself too. By desert, Claire was on his lap and they were sharing a piece of cheesecake. Regan reached over, swiping a bite of my cheesecake with a giggle. I grinned at her and did the same back before glancing over my shoulder.

Brady and Lexi were sitting at their own table behind us, both looking tense and neither one even pretending to enjoy themselves. Brady's food was untouched, as was the plastic cup in front of Lexi that, I'm sure, was full of something I didn't want to think about. I could smell it from where I was, which was enough to make me almost sick.

"You look beautiful as hell, Lex. That's not what this is about," I heard him argue. They spoke in heated whispers, so I couldn't decipher much over the music that was playing in the background.

I gave Regan a tight smile as her eyes followed mine. She squeezed my hand a little tighter.

"I've been dying to dance with you. Did you know that?"

I shook my head 'no'. "You have? I'm a sucky dancer."

"We only danced that one time at Leah's wedding and you were fine. Didn't step on my feet once."

"Alright, let's dance."

I led her away from the tables and onto the dance floor in the center of the Cullen living room. I had to admit that between the twinkle lights, disco ball, and music, I did feel like I was at an actual prom with Regan. She wrapped her arms around my neck as best as she could and we began to sway back and forth to the music.

Soon, Quil and Claire joined us, and even Rosalie and Emmett came out for a dance or two. I watched over Regan's shoulder as Brady and Lexi also moved to the dance floor. They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither one sure how to proceed. Lexi put her hand on his shoulder, and his around her waist, and then they touched hands. Both of them stopped, their faces somewhat shocked. I looked away then – somehow it all seemed too private to watch.

We did a few slow dances before Emmett spun some music that I was guessing was from his era. Rosalie squealed with glee and hurried to the dance floor and into his arms. They began to dance quickly and lithely around the dance floor, showing off. We laughed and stood to the side, enjoying the up close dance history lesson. Alice and Jasper soon joined in, and even Esme came out of the kitchen to watch.

"Come on doll, I'll show you a few steps," Emmett boomed, grabbing Regan's hand. She didn't have much time to protest before Emmett was dragging her back on the dance floor to join in his jovial moves. She laughed and followed his lead, allowing the giant vampire to swing her around. I turned and looked over my shoulder as Lexi and Brady stepped out onto the deck. They looked to be deep in conversation about something, and I could only hope they were doing alright. After everything they had been through, I just wanted to see my friends happy.

"May I have this dance?" Esme asked, holding out her hand.

"Of course. Care to show me some steps?"

"I'd be delighted. You're quick on your feet, aren't you, Seth?" she added with a wink.

"I'll try to keep up, Esme," I chuckled.

We all ended up dancing for hours after that. Regan and Claire dutifully had a dance with every one of the Cullen men, enjoying each style of dance they were subjected to. I finally got her back, and we slow danced until almost midnight. By the time Quil left to take Claire home, I was on cloud nine. It had been a night of shape shifters and vampires and just about every style of dancing...but I was sure neither one of us would ever forget our chance to have the best prom together.

Things just seemed to get better from there.

I opened the door for her, grinning from ear to ear. Regan and I just had our first outing together in Forks, and we couldn't be happier. Something about being out in the open with her was intoxicating. I felt like shouting from the rooftops and telling everyone why I was so happy. We only had burgers and shakes at the local diner, but it had been enough to make us both radiate with happiness. We had held hands throughout the meal, and I had even kissed her while we shared a slice of pie. The amazing thing was, I wasn't even worried about what people thought; I was hers and she was mine.

That was all that mattered.

She slid to the edge of the seat, her legs hanging off the edge of the worn material, grinning right back at me. I scooped her up, holding her against my torso as she crossed her legs behind my body. We were soaking wet from the rain that had been constantly falling for days now, but she didn't seem to mind. I held her against me, in Charlie's driveway, dipping my head down to kiss her. Her tongue caressed my lips, making me open my mouth and taste her right back.

"Mmm, you taste like strawberries," I moaned between kisses, instantly going in for another.

She giggled. "That's because I just had a strawberry shake with you, dork."

"That must be it, yeah," I laughed, kissing her again. We embraced tightly as I backed her up against the side of the Bronco. Her legs tightened against my torso, pulling her body flush with mine. I felt a ripple of desire roll down my body and pulsate in my groin. She laughed against my lips and broke away.

"Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?" I repeated, still dizzy from her kisses.

She nodded, her green eyes shining. "I want to go back to the meadow like you promised."

"Oh, right. The meadow. Um, sure. It's a date then."

She grinned. "Just like tonight," she sighed. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure," I said, tightening my grip on her legs.

"It was just...so...great to walk into that diner with you. Holding your hand. I felt like...liberated. Is that crazy?"

"No. I've been waiting to do that forever now. It was great. Not having to hide. This is the start of something new for us. Are you sure you're onboard with it? I mean...us?" I asked, pointing between Regan and myself.

She nodded. "Of course I am. I'm ready to be...an 'us'. Definitely. No ifs and buts," she replied, brushing a strand of wet hair out of her eyes.

I felt myself nearly explode with happiness. "You are? Really? So...we're doing this now?"

"Um, I think we have been for a few weeks, but...today was the start of something different."

"Right," I agreed. "So...now that we're out in the open, and...and you graduate tomorrow..."

"I'd say we're officially an item," she laughed, ruffling my wet hair with her hand. She kissed me softly, but I was too busy smiling to notice much.

"So..." she started, "Are you like my boyfriend now?"

I paused, the word 'boyfriend' rolling around in my head for a few seconds. The rain came down around us, soaking us even more, but neither of us cared. I stared at the girl in my arms, unable to believe that we had come this far.

"Yes...yes. I'm definitely your boyfriend now, Regan."

She beamed.

I beamed back.

I wasn't sure if I could get any happier.

"You're my boyfriend. Hmmm...never thought I would ever get to say that. So is this common knowledge?"

"If you want it to be, yeah," I chuckled. Regan reached up, brushing a piece of wet hair out of my eyes.

"I definitely want it to be."

"Then...then, it is. I'm your boyfriend. You're my girlfriend."

I tightened my grip on her legs and leaned forward. We sealed our words with a deep kiss that left us wanting more.

"I graduate tomorrow."

"I know."

"Take me the meadow to celebrate?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The scene in my head from the evening before, in Charlie's driveway, played on a constant loop. It ran like a movie through my mind, teasing and taunting me as I sat in the Forks High gymnasium the next day. I shifted next to Quil, who I think was looking forward to this day as much as I was. Of course both Regan and Claire were eighteen; hell, they were both technically closer to nineteen by now; however, it certainly made things a little more acceptable now that we weren't dating high schoolers.

My mom reached over and squeezed my hand, her knee bouncing. "I never got to see you do this. I'm so nervous!" she exclaimed. Beside her, Charlie removed his camera from his coat pocket and practiced turning it off and on like Regan had shown him. I think he was nervous he was going to miss the big moment when she got her diploma. He licked his lips and looked over at me.

"You'll be at the graduation party we're throwing for her tonight, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it, Charlie. I'll be there. Not every day..." I trailed off, glancing at my mom. "Not every day my girlfriend graduates," I whispered to her. She smiled at me and gripped my hand harder. I knew she was happy for me – she wanted nothing but for me and Regan to finally get our happiness. I knew she was worried about how Charlie was faring with all of this, but I had spent so much time worrying about him that I was ready to be done with it. By the time the ceremony started, and the students filed out onto the stage, I had completely pushed Charlie from my mind.

"Oh! There she is!"

My mom pointed out Regan to me although she didn't have to. My eyes were drawn to hers the second she had taken her seat.

"Yeah, Mom, I see her."

Like I could miss her. That could never happen. She filed into her seat with the rest of the students, popping up to search for us. She gave us a wave and blew a kiss before grinning and waiting for the ceremony to start. Quil bounced his leg beside me, and I eyed him.

"Long time coming, eh?"

He nodded, flashing me a grin. "Right. Just doesn't feel real. I mean...I still remember begging her to get rid of her pacifier."

I laughed, slapping him on the shoulder. The ceremony started soon after, and I finally got to see my imprint graduate.

Regan stood in her white cotton dress, politely saying thank you to everyone who was congratulating her. She fidgeted with the glass of lemonade in her hand, and I watched her shift her weight on her cork wedge sandals. Damn, they made her legs look good.

And she was all mine.

Her eyes met mine and we shared another secret smile that made my heart take off.

I wanted everyone to know she was mine.

All mine.

Mine. I just kept saying the word over and over in my mind, and I could barely believe it. I sauntered over to stand next to her, giving her a bright smile as her party continued. We were out back at Charlie's house, grilling burgers and brats under a small awning. The day was clear and sunny, a real rarity in Forks, and I was happy that the weather had held up for her special day.

"Hey," she breathed, biting her lip excitedly, brushing a few dark tendrils from her face. I watched the hair settle behind her ear, which made me look at her neck, making me want to kiss it...

"Hey," I greeted, regaining my focus. "So, we still on for tonight?"

Regan looked around guiltily; making sure no one was looking before giving me a wicked grin. "I was just wondering if we were. I'm game if you are," she whispered.

I laughed and put my arm around her, hugging her to my side. "Of course I am. Been thinking about it for weeks."

And I had been. Tonight I had promised to take Regan on a ride, on my wolfy back, up to the meadow. I was also bringing along a blanket in case things got...fun. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down as one of my coworkers at the station approached us.

"So this is the girl that's been giving Charlie what-for for the last few years. Nice to meet you, Regan," Willie said. Regan smiled politely, looking up at me. I knew she was realizing that my arm was still around her, and the fact that I didn't care.

She was my girlfriend now. This was allowed. No bad feeling, no guilt.

"Yeah, Regan, this is Officer Larue. I get to work with him down at the station," I said casually, trying not to roll my eyes. Willie was nice enough, but I think at this point, he was only still working for the department so that he could stay up on the town gossip. He did more yammering about who had done what, and with who, that I doubted he had even bothered to write a ticket since Clinton was in office. He was in his sixties and close to retirement, and he definitely needed to. "Willie, this is my...my girlfriend, Regan."

Willie blanched visibly, his bright blue eyes darting between us to settle on my hand that was now on Regan's waist. She leaned into me casually, giving him a bright smile.

"It's so nice of you to come," she said politely. "It's nice to meet some of Charlie and Seth's coworkers."

"Well, the free food might have had something to do with it. So erm...Seth here, is your boyfriend?"

She glanced up at me nervously, and I nodded. She slowly nodded herself, looking back at him. "Yes, he is. I guess you could say I like to spend my time with cops," she laughed. I tightened my arm around her waist.

Willie's eyes flicked back down to my hand where it rested on her hip, and he looked back up at me. I prepared myself for the worst when Charlie suddenly walked up to us.

"See you met Regs," he said. "Oh, and you got to see Seth."

Willie chuckled. "Swan, you let this pretty little thing out of the house with your ruffian of a stepson?"

Charlie's mustache twitched as he glanced at me, but his gaze wasn't angry.

It was proud.

Well, proud-ish.

"Well...I figure Seth here has more common sense than those other hoodlums we have running around this town. Might as well have her hanging out with a cop. At least I know where he lives and what his license plate number is," Charlie replied flatly, taking a sip of his beer. His brown eyes twinkled at me as Willie seemed to mull his statement over. "Besides...you saw what the senior boys did to the football field. Immature..." he grumbled. Willie agreed, smacking me on the shoulder.

"Keep this one in line," he joked to Regan before walking back towards the food. I exhaled with Regan, both of us relieved.

"That was...not as bad as I totally thought it was going to be," she admitted, giving me a shrug.

"Nope. Not in the least. Charlie has a point you know," I said, drawing her closer to my body. She quirked an eyebrow at me.

"And that is?"

I lowered my lips to her ear, just so they barely brushed against the sensitive skin there. "As a cop, I'll take care of you. Make sure you don't do anything...bad."

My suggestive whisper hung in the air as her eyes widened and she sidestepped away from me with a mock-incredulous look. "Seth Clearwater..."

"Regan...if you misbehave, I might have to handcuff you, I'm sorry," I hissed, feigning authority. She blushed harder and swatted me away. I helped myself to another brownie and some lemonade from the refreshment table, pretending not to notice as my mother walked up to Regan.

"Happy graduation," she said, wrapping her arms around her. Regan hugged her back tightly, nodding into her shoulder.

"Thank you, Sue...and...and thank you. For everything."

My mom pulled back, giving her a quizzical look. "Don't mention it. Our home will always be open to you."

Regan scratched her head, shifting on her tall shoes. "Well...that too, but...I mean for everything. For being a...a parent."

My mom's eyebrows shot up. "You mean that?"

Regan nodded, weaving her arms around herself as I'm sure her mind went to another place. A place in her past, judging by the look on her features.

"I do. I...I don't want to think about how my life would have turned out if I had stayed in Arizona. Moving here with you and Charlie was like...probably the best thing that could have happened to me."

My mom gasped a little, but nodded. "I think so too. I'm glad you came. Well, for obvious reasons, but...even if Seth...well, even so...I'm glad you're here too. You're like a daughter to me, Regan, and...I'm glad to have you. I'm glad he has you."

Regan paused, looking at her shoes. "I am too. And...you're like a mom to me."

"Oh...don't you forget it!" My mom exclaimed, throwing herself at Regan. The two hugged tightly, and I felt my throat tighten as I pretended not to listen to their private exchange.

"You take care of him...and I'll make sure he takes care of you," she whispered to my imprint.

"I know he will. Because you raised him," she whispered back.

My mom sniffled a few times and laughed, wiping her eyes with her thumbs. "Well...speaking of that...consider yourself a free woman."

Regan gasped, and my heart sped up. Free? Could my mother possibly mean that?

"Yes. You're almost nineteen and...a high school graduate. You'll be in college soon. So yes. You're a free woman. I um...I hope a prepared, erm...protected woman."

I could hear Regan's heart stutter. "Oh, um...yeah. I mean...yes. I am both. We are both. Oh God, uh..."

"It's okay. I love you like a daughter Regan, but that doesn't mean I want to be a grandma. You know that these things happen easier when you're with someone like him, it's just the genes and—"

I burst into action, my eyes wider than Regan's at this point. "Mom! Mom, um...please? No?"

Regan looked up at me with questioning eyes, her heart still slamming and her cheeks the color of beets. I gave my mother a pleading look before leading my imprint away from her with an embarrassed look.

"Seth," Regan hissed, "what does she mean, 'easier'?"

I sighed, grabbing another cup of lemonade off the refreshment table and looking around cautiously while I slammed it down my parched, nervous throat. This wasn't really a conversation I wanted to be having with her right now, but I figured it would come up sooner or later.

"She means that uh...that imprints tend to get pregnant. Erm...quicker. It doesn't take much, because..."

"You were drawn to me, anyway?" she finishes. "Does it have to do with like...keeping the numbers up?"

I shrugged. "I don't think so. I mean, I guess if you're trying to have a baby, making it super easy to get pregnant is supposed to be like another bonus. Back when...this whole thing first started centuries ago, getting pregnant was a really good thing – keeps the population up. But now..."

"Right. Well...this isn't several centuries ago, so...no babies, at least not just yet," she said awkwardly, punching me in the shoulder.

I nodded. "My thoughts exactly. She just wanted to make sure we were careful."

"Right. Well, we are now, so..."

I laughed. "No accidents. You're too young, and you have just...loads of stuff you'll want to do yet."

"You know that?"

"I'd hope so. I mean...I'm not aging. We have a few years that can be kinda fun, filler years. Do whatever we want, whenever we want. I know you as a friend, and...a teenager. Now that you're an adult, well...I want to get to know you again as just that - an adult. We can do adult things now, and...not have to worry. I figured we could have some fun, explore the world. Really enjoy each other. Does that sound good to you?"

I worried I had gotten to deep for a moment before Regan nodded, licking her lips. I could tell she was taking my phrase 'enjoy each other' in a kinky way, but I couldn't even pretend to mind.

It was true.

I had spent years with her as a teenager just being her friend, but...I wanted more than that now. I wanted us to learn to enjoy each other in a romantic, true imprint manner before we had to settled down. Of course I wanted kids, but...I wanted Regan first. I had waited so long to find her that I was looking forward to a few selfish years with her. Mental pictures of us tangled up in the sheets of some European hotel floated through my mind. I pictured her skin, tan and flushed with the sun on an island somewhere and it was suddenly all I wanted. No responsibilities, no worries, just us. Based on the longing look she was now giving me, I assumed I had struck a positive chord.

"That sounds um...nice," she said, her green eyes flicking up to meet mine. Her gaze was suddenly sultry, and I felt desire burn through me.

Yes. That was definitely what I wanted.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, licking her lips again before speaking. "So...yeah. Um, I'm going to go finish up my mandatory mingling."

"Yeah, okay. I'll pick you up say...dusk? Dress warm," I added with a wink.

She gave me a nervous smile before going back to the party. I finished off another plate of food before finally saying my goodbyes. I headed home, changed clothes, and of course, shared the graduation pictures with Lexi. She was a little saddened, I think, not to be a part of it, however, she did take great pride in the fact that Regan and Claire had graduated from high school. Under her new name of 'Cullen', she had completed her test for her GED, but that was all she had done so far. She wished me well and sent me off that evening with a wink, telling me to have fun.

Boy, did I plan to.

I picked Regan up, laughing as she scampered out of the house in her hiking boots, jeans, and a down vest. Jumping into the truck, I couldn't help but notice her long sleeved V-neck shirt left the tops of her breasts peeking out. She caught me looking and gave me a sexy grin.

"See something you like?"

I threw the Bronco into drive and nodded. "Yeah, and for once I'm allowed to admit I enjoy it."

My laughter echoed off the trees as she pounced on me. We had brought a couple of blankets up to the meadow after Regan rode up on my back, as promised. I think she was a mixture of scared and exhilarated from the ride, although she would never admit to being frightened. So far though, her graduation night was turning out to be everything I had hoped it would be. Regan was finally free. I brought a simple dinner with us to share as the sun went down, but my imprint had other ideas. She had been pawing at me all through our picnic, and I had playfully chided her about there being more to a date than just fooling around.

"Something funny?" she asked, swinging her leg over my body. She sat perched in my lap, cocking her head to the side. I leaned back on my arms, enjoying the feeling of her weight on my groin. She looked so beautiful there, just sitting before me. No, beautiful was too trivial a word.

Utterly amazing.

Dazzling.

I gulped, leaning forward to let her forehead touch mine. "Kiss me," she demanded, jutting her lower lip out, as if to dare me.

"I plan on it," I uttered, leaning forward slightly. I took her bottom lip between my teeth, sucking lightly. She moaned and shifted on my lap as my hands fell lower on her back, cradling her butt. The friction was glorious.

I moved my mouth upwards, kissing her full on the lips. We started slow, as we usually do – sweet, tender kisses...then things got hotter.

As they usually did.

It was my turn to moan as she pushed her down vest off, squirming closer to my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I had to laugh as she began to fumble with the hem of my shirt.

"Here?"

"Why not?"

Good enough argument for me.

We wasted no time shedding our clothes in the middle of the starlit meadow. Regan tossed her bra off to the side as I pulled part of the blanket we were on over our legs to keep her warm in the chilly night air. I knew I would keep her warm, but just in case. She snickered as I brushed up against her leg, my hardness already prominent.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just...thankful that you're so...endowed."

It was my turn to snicker. "You like it."

"That's the idea, yes," she laughed, brushing her hand tauntingly up my thigh. I closed my eyes and shivered slightly, but not from the cool air of the meadow. Regan brushed her lips against my neck as I hovered beside her, her fingernails teasingly brushing my abdomen. When her hand closed around my length, I nearly lost my mind. Rolling onto my back, she laughed quietly to herself as I closed my eyes and let my jaw go slack. Up and down, her warm hand moved, the friction driving me insane.

In a good way.

I barely felt her shift above me, my head spinning pleasantly and my mind focused on one body part. Then, without warning, she put her mouth on me.

There.

Holy...

I gasped for air, my eyes flying open. Jaw still slackened, I lifted my head off the blanket to see Regan hovering over me, a curtain of dark curls cascading over her pale shoulder. She had her mouth on me. I groaned at the new sensation, floored that something could feel so good. I felt her tongue flick against the underside, and I let my head fall back. Coherent thoughts were hopeless. My hands wound themselves in her hair, gently urging her forward as she worked.

I guess I could add another item to the list of things that was better done with an imprint than anyone else.

Of course, I had gotten a few blow jobs here and there before getting laid in the past, but this was entirely different. I fought between seeing stars and staring down at her long enough to catch glimpses of her face behind her hair. She smirked up at me once, her eye catching mine in a sultry stare. I felt her warm breath on my tip as snorted, placing a lingering kiss on the head before returning to work.

Fuck. It was nothing short of amazing to feel her warm, pink lips wrapped around me, working me to the brink. I was going to finish ridiculously fast, but this had been the last thing I was expecting. She added the help of her hand, and I was soon a goner. I came hard, grasping the blanket beside me with a groan that echoed off the trees. Regan sat up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and grinned.

That little minx.

"I...I..."

"Speechless. That's a new one on you, Seth."

I watched her smirk in the moonlight as she picked up one of the extra blankets and wrapped it around her still bare body.

"I just...wasn't expecting...I..."

She giggled, giving me a smirk. "But you liked it?"

I snorted. "I am a guy, Regs. Of course I did. I also plan to return the favor."

She blushed. "Deal."

We gazed at each other for a moment, my body still reeling. I think she sensed it, and purposefully gave me a few moments. She sat beside my still form, cross-legged and with a ratty quilt around her shoulders, her dark curls haphazardly brushed behind one shoulder, grinning at me.

She had always been beautiful, but now, somehow, she looked...different.

I reached up, cupping her cheek softly. "You feel so much older, somehow."

Regan looked bashfully down at the blanket. "I am older now."

I shook my head. "No, I just...I guess I never thought this day would ever come. Seeing you this way..." I trailed off, my eyes dropping to the area of her body where the blanket was falling open. "I never thought you would be older, and I would be feeling like this."

"Well, I am," she said softly, touching my hand on her cheek. "So get used to it."

I beamed up at the sky, unsure if the stars were real or if I was just so blissed out that I was actually seeing stars. I wasn't sure.

But I also wasn't sure if I cared. Our happiness was all that mattered. She was free. We were free. Things were finally the way they were supposed to be.


	53. Chapter 53

Seth

I'll be honest.

I spent the entire summer by Regan's side, proudly as her boyfriend, and didn't give a shit who knew or saw.

Sure, we got a few looks sometimes. I was on the police force and she was newly graduated from high school.

But I didn't care.

I had Regan with me and that was all that mattered. Halfway through the summer, she dropped a bomb on me – but the good kind. Regan was going away to college, but it was only to Seattle. Looked like I was going to have my cake and eat it too.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Regan bit the piece of spaghetti squash off the end of her fork, chewing daintily. She knew I was watching her.

Her and that mouth.

I shifted in my chair at the kitchen table and tried my best not to stare, but she did make it difficult. Ever since our outing in the meadow I had gotten some sort of sick fascination with her mouth. I'm sure most guys wouldn't blame me. I had seen into the minds of my pack mates while patrolling, and I knew my fascination with my imprint wasn't just me – all of the guys thought she was the perfect mix of quirky cuteness.

Charlie cleared his throat and shot me a jokingly disapproving look before going back to my mom's cooking.

"Regs, you got your heart set on Seattle?" Charlie asked. Regan has just picked a school that was in the city, and I was over the moon that she would be so close.

She bobs her head and takes a sip of her iced tea while failing to hide a grin in my direction. "I do. Move in day is August twenty sixth."

Charlie grunts and nods, looking at Sue.

"I like that you'll be close. That means I can still drop by and catch you doing things you shouldn't be," he adds under his breath, winking at her.

"I'll be there," I point out with a grin.

Charlie just rolls his eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of, Clearwater."

I snort and take another sip of my own tea while my mom tries to hide her giggles. I had called the Seattle department that had interviewed me before Christmas. Needless to say it had taken some begging to get them to interview me again, but I had assured them I had my head on straight this time. I had gotten the job and would be moving to the city in mid-September. That would give Regan some time to spread her wings at school before I came in and ruined every college freshman boy's dream by swooping in and showing them I was her boyfriend.

I smirked and ate another piece of casserole.

Charlie looked out through the drizzle as we stood on the front porch after dinner, grumbling to himself. "What's wrong with you old man?"

His eyes twinkled a little as he sipped his after dinner beer and jammed his hand into his pocket. "Gotta say goodbye here soon."

"Feeling sentimental?"

He nodded. "Kid's grown on me 'sall."

"I can see that," I agree. "I'll bring her back for holidays, and…and hopefully after college. This Seattle thing is just temporary, Charlie."

He looked over at me where we stood on the front porch, his dark eyes slightly misty as he took another sip of his beer. "You'll watch out for her?"

I let out a growl to prove my point. Seth Clearwater or not, I could me menacing if I wanted to be. Charlie took a step back and eyed me as I burst out into laughter. "Of course I will Charlie. With my own life, you know that. I'd never let anything happen to her."

He nodded. "I guess that is an advantage to your erm…condition."

I laughed harder, walking over to the porch swing where he had a fresh six pack of his Vitamin R sitting and broke off a fresh can for both of us. "If anyone tries to mess with her, I'll slip into a dark alley and phase and scare the shit out of them."

He chuckled. "Now that's I'd like to see."

I reached for my top button and he shot me a glare. "Not literally."

I chuckled and cracked my beer open. "I think we both want to come back here when this is all over. But Forks is my home, and I really think it's become hers as well. Let her get out and spread her wings a little. I'd be willing to bet she lands back here."

He nodded and sipped his drink. "Well….try your best. I'd really miss her if she…left."

It didn't take a genius to figure out he was talking about his own daughter. Charlie still missed Bella more than anything else. Her several yearly visits were not enough for him, and he had missed out on a lot of his daughter's supernatural life by being human. He didn't have to ask me to assure him that would not be the case with Regan.

"Charlie….we'll come back. You don't have to worry about that. And my um…condition….will eventually go away."

He looked up. "You mean you can retire?"

I nodded. "When Regan looks the same age as me, then yea. I'll stop and age with her."

"But she will age, right?" He asked flatly. I grinned. Charlie Swan was no fool.

"Regan doesn't' have to change anything about her um….herself to be with me. I kinda adjust to her, that's the beauty of this. Once she gets old enough, then yeah, I retire. I stop phasing and we can grow old together. And we'll….we'll hopefully have some grandkids."

He eyed me. "How long will they be babies though?"

I knew he was thinking of Renesmee. We both knew he knew Renesmee wasn't really Edward's niece, even though that's the story they had told to anyone outside of the family for years.

"Definitely the normal amount of time. If we have kids, then…they'll be kids. I promise."

He nodded. "You're sure she's it for you?"

I laughed and put my hand on his shoulder. "Charlie, what do you think I've been waiting for all these years?"

The next night, Claire practically bullied me into having a movie night at my house. I felt I had to agree, since this was one of her and Regan's last nights before leaving for college. I wouldn't see her for a few weeks after dropping her off – I wanted to give her some freedom. Quil was staying behind in Forks, so this really was one of his last nights with Claire before she left. The Cullens were gone again as well, leaving me with an empty house. Not that I was complaining. Of course I missed my second family, but it was nice to have a place to have Regan all to myself again without vampires bursting in.

Claire burst through the front door at seven sharp, hauling her grocery bag full of items to have an ice cream bar. I knew I had to agree with Claire though, because she was on a rampage to get us all together to do 'fun' things before she and Regan left for college. Both girls were taking the news that Lexi couldn't be attending school with them quite hard. As much as she had been able to be around for this summer she knew that attending school wouldn't be a good choice for her so soon. While she was extremely controlled with her thirst, she didn't trust herself enough to live in a dorm and be in small classrooms all day.

So, it was just the four of us. As happy as I was that my imprint has chosen to go away to a four year school, I was already selfishly missing her and knew I had to enjoy these last few weeks of complete freedom.

Regan arrived with Claire and Quil around seven. Claire brought with her a large grocery sack full of stuff for ice cream sundaes and a stupid array of romantic comedies. It was a sacrifice I happily made to spend the evening cuddled up with Regan. Things were finally to the point where the four of us could hang out, touch, kiss, and act like normal couples and I couldn't be happier. Quil and Claire were especially enjoying each other since she would soon be away at school; I hadn't seen them break contact since they arrived. She was either sitting on his lap, holding his hand, or practically draped over him in any shape or form she could. Not that I blamed her. I knew that falling into synch with an imprint once you were the right age and it was the right time was an amazing feeling and you tended to get a little drunk off of it. Of course things settled down a little eventually to the point where you're not thinking about the other one naked half the day, but these two were far from that point yet.

As the goofy comedy played on screen, I turned to look at Regan. She was against the couch, her legs in my lap and her back against the arm. She would chuckle and snort at the funny parts, but I couldn't even make myself pretend to pay attention.

How had I gotten so lucky? She even looked like she belonged with me. Well, at least I thought we looked good together. The few pictures we had from our phones, Prom, and various other occasions were tacked up around the house already, thanks to Esme, and I relished in seeing them every day. Now that it was allowed, I couldn't stop obsessing over it.

I didn't want the feeling to ever go away.

Even Charlie was more accepting. We could kiss in front of him (no tongues) and hold hands, and he barely even grunted anymore when she came home late. I think he knew I would do anything for her and to protect her, so that helped. I guess it was one instance where him knowing about my supernatural abilities was a bit of a leg up. And I was happy to have Charlie's approval as well – he was like a close uncle or step father to me and I respected him a lot. Throughout the whole 'should we date or shouldn't we' debacle earlier in the year, many of my pack brothers witnessed the struggle through my mind. Many of them had no qualms about telling me they thought I should just tell Charlie to shove it and do what I wanted with Regan.

But that just wasn't me.

Of course Regan could have done whatever she wanted – she was eighteen. But…Charlie Swan had grown on her the same way he had me, with his quiet grunts, soft-spoken words, biting humor and big brown eyes. The thought that I wasn't what he had imagined for his niece had practically broken my heart. I had taken the time to warm him to the idea of us dating and I was glad I did. I think he was one of our biggest supporters.

"Watch the movie," Regan whispered lowly as she turned her head.

I grinned, knowing I had been caught. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine, but it was all too brief. Her cherry almond and vanilla scent washed over me, and I could smell the laundry detergent on her sweatshirt that my mother had used since I was a kid.

"I'd rather watch you," I whispered back.

Regan stuck her finger in her throat and made a gagging noise. I gave her a playful shove and she started giggling.

"Geez you two, get a room," Claire chided, coming back with a fresh bowl of ice cream. I watched as she flopped down in Quil's lap, his arms going around her securely. She spooned a heaping amount into his mouth, kissing his lower lip with a flourish.

"Um, speak for yourself?" I laughed. As annoyed as I pretended to be, I was glad things were finally normal for us.

"I need more sugar," Regan whispered, jumping up. She offered me a flirty smile as she tucked back a strand of hair that was falling out of her messy bun. The hoody she wore was large on her, but not long enough to hide her tight, formfitting yoga pants.

I tried not to stare as she walked away me; tight pants, no panty lines…definitely wearing a thong, my inner voice rejoiced. God bless yoga pants.

The credits were barely rolling before Quil and Claire stood up, their eyes hungry and their hands roaming all over each other over their clothes. I blanched and looked away, grimacing at the sight of my friends and their newly discovered 'togetherness'.

"We'll uh…see ya later Clearwater. Got to get Claire home."

"Right," I said flatly. "Is home code for the backseat of your car?"

"Shut up Seth," Claire snapped. "Regan? Do you need a ride?"

"I'm going to stay here for a bit," Regan said suddenly, making eye contact with Claire. Claire only nodded, a blush rising up in her cheeks. She responded by quickly ushering Quil out the front door.

We were finally alone.

I looked at Regan with a skeptical glance. "You told Charlie you were staying at her house, didn't you?"

She winced. "Maybe?"

"Bad girl," I chuckled.

"What's one white lie? I mean…I'm going to leave for college in a month anyway. What he doesn't know won't kill him."

"I guess you're right. What he would know might give him a heart attack."

"Right you are."

"So…you…you wanted to stay here with me?"

She paused in the entryway, biting her lip coyly. "I can't make myself leave," she admitted. "and I wouldn't want to."

I grinned and pulled her against me, dipping my head down to kiss her. She deepened it right away, grabbing the sides of my faces and running her tongue across my teeth. I groaned into her mouth and pulled her up into my arms.

"What's one little white lie?" I asked into her mouth. She giggled and kissed me deeper.

I carried her to the kitchen were we stopped, putting her down and grinning at the fact that I now had her all to myself. She excused herself to use the restroom, and I sat down at the counter to play on my phone. I hit the Facebook icon and scrolled through my friends lists, pausing on Regan's latest status update.

"Regan Jennings is listed as in a relationship."

I clicked on the notifications tab and saw a blinking red message. "Regan Jennings would like to confirm that you are in a relationship."

A thrill raced through me as I clicked 'confirm.'

Regan danced back into the kitchen, a shit-eating grin on her face. She slid to a halt in front of me and pulled out her phone. "You confirmed me?"

"You already got the notification?"

She nodded.

"Scary," I snorted, holding up my phone. I stared at my profile, the words 'Seth Clearwater is in a relationship with Regan Jennings," staring out at me like it was on fire. I grinned to match hers and shoved my phone in my pocket.

"So what's that all about?"

She hummed to herself as she walked around the kitchen island, picking over the toppings we had laid out for the ice cream bar. She squirted some whip cream in her mouth and laughed. "What?"

"Facebook. Making it all official and what not. That's…out of the blue."

I watched her cheeks redden slightly as she spun the bottle of whip cream in her hands, staring at the countertop. "Is…that alright?"

I guffawed and slapped the counter. "Regan! I told you…this is all I've ever wanted. You do understand that, right? Things like…like finally being in a relationship on Facebook make me nothing but happy."

She grinned and looked up at me. "You're serious? That's not like…weird?"

I laughed again and leaned on the counter closer to her. "No. Not at all. This is okay now, and I wanted it to be official. It's not set in stone unless it's on Facebook, right?"

She giggled and squirted herself a dollop of whip cream, only to lick it from her fingers. I watched with rapt fascination as she did this, her eyes teasing me as I drooled.

"Give me that," I snapped playfully, pulling it from her grasp. I squirted the can into my mouth and laughed along with her as we took turns with it.

"We're gross," she giggled.

"Yeah, but that's part of what makes us so perfect together. But back to this 'Facebook' thing. You want everyone to know you're mine?"

She moved around the counter towards me, shaking her head. "Nuh uh. You're mine. You've got it backwards," she said in a low voice.

"Whatever. You're all about me."

"Am not."

"Are too!"

"I am not!"

"Oops," I laughed sarcastically, squirting a glob of whipped cream on her chest. The hoody from earlier was gone and I couldn't resist squiring her with the sugary substance. Her tank top left little to the imagination, and I felt the need to instigate a mini food fight. She snickered, grabbing the bottle of Hershey's syrup off the counter behind her.

"I'm kinda glad Quil and Claire are gone cuz um…"

"What?"

"Turnabouts fair play," she practically growled, an evil smile decorating her features. I laughed another sinister chuckle. If she wanted to play, then I would play along.

Happily.

In one motion, I ripped my sleeveless t-shirt off and tossed it aside, getting a private satisfaction at the way her eyes automatically raked up and down my muscled chest. I didn't like to flaunt my body, but…I wanted her to want me.

"Go for it," I laughed, flashing her a grin. Her cheeks flamed pink, and her eyes glinted mysteriously.

"Fine," she said, squirting the bottle at me. A long streak of chocolate sauce now decorated my torso. I could feel it sliding down my body, and I could also feel her eyes as they followed it.

"Mm, tasty," Regan snickered, and I gave her a 'oh no you don't' look before darting after her. She shrieked, her voice echoing in the large kitchen and took off around the center island. I grabbed the can of whipped cream and shot it after her, getting a large streak down her back. Regan shrieked again and darted around the island, reaching her hand into a bowl of sprinkles. I ducked too slowly and the chocolate on my torso was suddenly caked in the sprinkles. I growled and chased after her as we laughed and did circles around the kitchen.

"You're gonna pay for that!" I laughed menacingly, reaching after her. She yelled and laughed again, and I caught her effortlessly turning her in my arms to face me. "Gotcha."

"How are you gonna make me pay?" she asked quietly, her eyes flicking down to my chocolate smeared chest. I glanced down at the whip cream that covered hers above where her tank top was and licked my lips.

"Very slowly," I answered before pulling her up against me. She squealed as our sticky bodies came into closer contact, but didn't push me away. I lowered my lips to gets and smiled as I realized I could still taste the whipped cream on her tongue. She took her time sucking the Hershey's syrup that had somehow gotten on my lower lip, and soon I was hard as a rock and had a one track mind.

We'd never fooled around in the kitchen before….

I broke away long enough to pick her up and put her on the counter in front of me. Regan opened her legs and pulled me closer, my chest flush with hers as we kissed again. She tilted her head to kiss me deeper, but I took the opportunity to break away again and slide my mouth down her neck. I chuckled to myself as I pushed a stray pink sprinkle that was stuck to a sticky part of her chest away. She started to giggle but quickly changed her tune as I began lightly sucking her neck, just below her ear. She squirmed against my arms, laughing as I hit a spot I knew to be ticklish.

"Sshhhh, shhhh, you're supposed to be paying for getting me with the Hershey's, stop laughing," I chided her, gently pinching her sides. She screamed and laughed louder, grinding her body against mine as she giggled. I groaned as her breasts rubbed against my bare chest, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to 'make her pay' right there on the kitchen counter. I pulled off her tiny tank top and wasted no time unhooking her bra. Before she could protest, both were lying on the floor.

"Can I put whip cream on your nipples?"

She cocked her head to the side, giving me a curious look. The bun on top of her head shifted to the side, making her look almost comical. "Um….if you want to?"

I grabbed her hands. "It's every guy's dream to lick sugar off a girl's boobs. It all started with this movie, back when I was younger….ah, remind me to show you someday," I said quickly, grabbing the can. I sprayed two little triangles over her breasts, stopping to admire my work.

Yes, this certainly was what horny man-dreams were made of.

Lowering my head, I took my time licking, sucking, and kissing them clean. The skin puckered against my tongue, urging forward as Regan began to squirm again – this time not because I was tickling her.

"Oh Lord," she sighed. "You're sure no one will come barging in? I'm so…God Seth," she muttered.

Satisfaction burned through me as I watched her eyes slowly dip closed in sheer enjoyment. I rose up straight and looked at her, proud of my work. Her dilated eyes stared at mine before grabbing my face and pulling it to hers. She gave me one long, deep kiss that made my toes curl as she broke away. But it wasn't enough. I wanted to taste her.

Other places.

"Trust me," I murmured in her ear.

Her messy bun shook as she nodded her head in agreement and permission. Gently, I pushed her back to that she was laying on the counter, her legs hanging over the side. I stood between them and grabbed the syrup with a grin, laying a thin trail of it down her chest, across her breasts, zig sagging across her stomach, and ending right above her pubic bone. The delightful little excuse for underwear she was donning taunted me shamelessly.

I looked down at my imprint, sprawled out on my white kitchen counter, her hair mussed, cheeks pink and her pale body covered in whip cream and chocolate sauce. Her pale pink underwear were a stark contrast with the dark chocolate that decorated her skin, and it made me shiver with excitement. I would have to be careful to lock this memory away like a steel trap so that no one but me would ever witness it.

It wouldn't be easy.

Regan looked up at me, her chest rising and falling in anticipation for what I was going to do. Leaning over, I kissed her mouth sweetly before attacking her neck. My hands ran down her sides as she began to writhe in pleasure against me. I sucked, kissed, bit, and tasted all the way down her body, taking time to tease her. I took one of her turgid peaks in my mouth, reveling in the taste of her own flavor mixed with the chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Then she moaned my name.

"Ohh…Seth," she groaned. I looked over at her side to watch her fist clench itself on the countertop next to her. I smiled wickedly against her skin.

I dragged my tongue down her stomach in a tantalizingly slow manner, wanting to tease her. She continued to clench and unclench her hands as I moved my mouth down her stomach. I squeezed her hips, my sensitive fingertips able to feel the goose bumps as they rose up on her skin. Glancing up, I watched her bite her lip in order to bite back a high pitched whimper.

Yes…the wolf inside me growled. Please her…

I tasted my way down her soft stomach, taking my time to both prolong her anticipation and to quench my need for my imprint. Just touching her like this was bliss.

"ah!" she gasped as my tongue danced along the soft skin just above the waistband of her pink underwear. It was bright pink, ruffled, and just begging for me to rip if off.

Do it, the wolf urged. He wanted to please his mate and I couldn't say that I disagreed with him.

I stood up, marveling at the sight of Regan on my kitchen counter one last time before I ravaged her. As If I needed it. I reached up to touch her face, letting my fingers slide down her hot cheek. She was so red and breathless that it was almost impossible to stay away from her. God she was so beautiful.

My hand moved down her chest, between her perfect breasts, down her stomach that was still slightly sticky with chocolate and whipped cream. Lower and lower it went until I felt my fingers come in contact with the ruffly front of her underwear. When I touched her delicate folds through the material, she sucked in a breath. I glanced up and let my eyes meet hers.

"Do you want me to?" I asked. I left the question vague so that I would be free to do as I wanted.

"ugh, yes!" she said in a frustrated voice. I laughed, gently hooking my fingers underneath the material. With one quick clench of my fist, the flimsy material ripped and snapped back into my fingers in a wad of pink ruffles. She gasped, I stared, and the wolf rejoiced. Finally.

I put one hand on her thigh and the other I let dance down her pubic bone to tease her. Her hips lifted off the counter slightly, as if they were begging me for release. She had no idea what I planned to do. Touching wasn't going to satisfy me. No…I wanted a taste.

I moved my fingers down between her folds, running one softly along her center. Regan whimpered again, her hand clenching down around my wrist faster than lightning.

"Please," she begged, biting down on her lip. I watched the pink skin on her mouth turn white as she bit down hard; she must really be turned on.

"I won't make you beg," I laughed, and she let a nervous giggle out. That was why I loved this girl; she could make me laugh when I should be serious, which I loved. I couldn't think of a person who was more fit for me than the goddess in front of me, begging for my touch.

"Mmm," she moaned as I ran the tip of my finger up her wetness, ghosting around her sensitive bud. She bit her lip again, and I feared she would bite right through it if I didn't get one with it. I mean what I said; I didn't want to tease her. I wanted to satisfy us both by giving us what we needed; each other.

I continued to move my finger around where I knew she wanted me most while my other hand rubbed circles on her upper thighs. Regan squirmed as I lowered my head down further close to her womanly center. I let out a nervous breath, making her tense beneath me. Regan grabbed my hand that was on her thigh and gripped it tightly. I concentrated as I waited for her to calm down and relax; I wanted her to enjoy this as much as I was going to. I needed to use the imprint pull now more than ever to feel what she was feeling to help her through this. When she exhaled again, I felt her body relax so I went for it.

Regan sucked in a breath as I finally let my mouth come in contact with her soft flesh. I circled her bud with my tongue, hoping to get her so turned on that she would finally let go and let me devour her. When she exhaled again, I guided her leg to rest behind my shoulder as I crouched in front of my kitchen counter. My other hand stayed put to aid my cause.

"Oh!" she gasped as my fingers stroked in time with my tongue. Tasting her was practically overwhelming. I didn't even think I had been this turned on the first time we were together. The wolf inside me howled in satisfaction, grinning and yipping with pride as her moans filled my ears. I broke away, lifting up my head to watch her as she writhed on the white tiles. I watched her hand slither up her stomach to touch her breast, and her eyes made contact with mine. We shared a private smile and I continued.

I moved my lips back down, smiling against her wetness as I felt one of her hands weave into my short hair. My tongue played against her, exhilarated that she was enjoying this. When I slid my tongue down the side of her swollen bud, she gasped and gripped my hair harder. And I liked it.

"Seth," she groaned, lifting her hips up slightly. My mouth could feel her start to pulsate against me; she was close. The wolf howled.

I was determined to please her. I took her flesh in my lips and sucked, hoping to push her over the edge as my fingers worked. I didn't disappoint.

Regan whimpered….she whimpered…as her body began to shake uncontrollably with release. I lapped at her center willingly, reveling in the taste of her. When I felt her body start to still, I could barely control myself.

"I want you," I said, my voice just above a whisper. Or maybe it was a groan…I couldn't be sure at this point. My vision was so clouded with lust for the girl in front of me that I could barely think straight.

"I'm yours," she countered back saucily, still panting slightly. I stood up barely able to get my pants off fast enough. I grabbed her legs, hitched them around my elbows, sliding her down the counter top until her center was pressed against my already aching erection. I looked up and met her gaze before slowly plunging into her, my fingers gripping her legs. Her eyes widened slightly as I began to set a tantalizingly slow pace for us. She moaned quietly and closed her eyes, biting her lips as I moved within her.

Reaching down, I cupped her cheek in my hand, sliding it down her neck. Down across her collarbone, her chest, between her perfect breasts, down the line of her soft stomach. When I let my thumb circle her sensitive bud, she gasped and squirmed beneath me on the countertop. That was my new favorite thing to do. I knew she wouldn't take long. By the time she came, this time I was joining her. We panted together on the countertop for a second before I could even think straight again.

Suddenly, Regan erupted into a fit of giggles. I looked down at her, covered in whip cream and chocolate, the substances smeared all over her body that was still flushed with heat and excitement.

"Shower," she said, and I needed no more encouragement.


	54. Chapter 54

Regan

We didn't do much other than giggle and point at each other teasingly as we nakedly made it upstairs to his room. It's rather…awkward to walk around perfectly naked with someone unless you were completely used to it, which we obviously weren't. Not to mention we were still covered in chocolate syrup, had whip cream smeared in our arms and legs, and were still a little shaky from what had just happened in the kitchen. I looked forward with pleasant anticipation to showering with Seth. I had always secretly wanted to use the shower I had seen in his master bedroom, but never thought I would get the chance to. I still remembered it from my first night with Seth almost a year ago.

The Cullen house was nothing short of amazing. Seth told me that the Cullens spared no expense when it came to their homes, cars, and clothes. They had to live as vampires, he had told me, so why not live it up? I guess I understood that concept, and getting to visit my boyfriend in a house like this was no exception.

He followed me into the master bathroom, flipping on a few dim lights here and there. I had never seen so many light switches in a bathroom before, but this one seemed to have one for every corner and crevice of space. He kept the lights off in the corner where the shower was, only turning on one above it. He turned on the jets that seemed to spray in every direction, waiting a second for the water to get hot. When it began to steam, he reached inside the shower and glanced over his shoulder.

"Watch this," he said, reminding me of a little kid again. I had to remind myself to watch what he was doing, and not just stare at his naked, muscled ass. It was like every square inch of him was tan and….chiseled. I tried to focus. The jets of water seemed to change colors as they streamed down in the dark shower, and I realized that the Cullens definitely had a light changing shower head. Who on earth dreamt of this stuff? I had to admit though…it was amazing and something completely unique that seemed fitting for tonight.

Seth turned, squaring his shoulders at me, his dark eyes narrowing slightly as he gazed at me with a sexual prowess that made my knees weaken all over again. I felt like I should hold up my arms and hands in front of myself to shield me body from his eyes; I knew he could see me much better than I could see him in the dim bathroom lights, and I was suddenly self-conscious - even after what had just happened in the kitchen.

Sensing my slight anxiety, he walked toward me and managed to make the three steps it took to reach me look like they had more purpose than anything in my life ever had. He looked at me like I was the air he needed to breathe; I couldn't get enough of him. Before I knew it, his hands were around mine and he walked backwards towards the shower, pulling me willingly along with him.

We stepped inside the steamy, hot shower and as soon as the water hit me, I began to relax. Maybe it was Seth, or the way he looked at me, or the relief my body felt from finally being with him again…but I felt alive. As the water washed over my sticky body, I wasn't sure what was hotter; the water or Seth's blazing skin as he encased me in his arms. He hugged me to his chest as we stood together under the warm water, our naked bodies pressed flush against each other. My skin sizzled for what felt like the millionth time that night. I sometimes worried that I was going to have a complex about warm things after nights like tonight….either that or I would get turned on anytime I was remotely warm, I thought with a smirk.

"Something funny?" he asked. He must have felt my face move against his chest.

"How did you know?" I asked, looking up at him. My eyes blinked in the water a few times, and his hand automatically came up to brush the water out of my eyes. He looked down at me, his brown eyes soft and expressive.

"I can feel when your mood changes Regan," he chuckled, weaving his large yet gentle hands into my hair. I closed my eyes at the feeling, reveling in his touch. I was convinced that Seth's hands were the most marvelous creation on the face of the earth…either that or his tongue.

I shivered as I thought about what had happened on the kitchen counter; would I ever be able to eat a meal there again without blushing like an embarrassed twelve year old? I wasn't sure.

"You're so in tune with me. It's a little scary sometimes."

He studied me carefully in the midst of the steam, his brown eyes searching mine. "Scary but…okay, right?"

"Oh yeah. I mean…I'm still getting used to how in tune you are with me."

"Each other," he reminded me. "You can sense things about me too. I swear imprints can do that. Over the years you just…notice things like that."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely. Emily always knows when Sam's in a bad mood, or Claire knows when Quil wants to tease her. They just sense each other's feelings…it doesn't go one way."

"Oh," I replied, rubbing my hands along his forearms. I slid them upwards towards his pecks, enjoying the feeling of his warm skin against my own.

"See something you like?" he asked. I grinned and watched the last of the Hershey's syrup slid away with the warm water.

"Of course. I was just…picturing you phasing. It's tough to wrap your head around, you know? So many years of believing that fairy tales weren't real, and that….certain stuff only happened in books. It's just different to think that stuff like this actually happens. You burst out of your skin and become a giant wolf. It's just a lot."

"Too much?"

I shook my head and ran my hands down his chiseled stomach. "No. Not at all. I'd hate to think I was missing out on all of this."

Seth smiled and nodded. "Sometimes I feel the same way. It's a lot, but it brought me you."

"You're right. I'm pretty amazing, right?"

He chuckled and hugged me against this body, resting his chin on top of my head. "Can I wash your hair?"

I opened one eye to look at him skeptically, and he laughed. "I just want to. Please? It'll be sexy," he promised, sounding more like a teenager than a grown man.

I nodded, and he bent down to reach for a bottle of shampoo in the bottom of the shower. "Don't' laugh," he said seriously. "But I use girl shampoo."

I looked down at the bottle in his hands, impressed to see a bottle of salon-quality shampoo. "Um…why?"

He made a slightly embarrassed face. "I like the way it smells. Esme left a ton of it here and…I got used to it. The cheap stuff just didn't cut it."

Placing his hands on my shoulders, he turned me around slowly so that I was standing out of the colorful streams of water. It was a huge shower we were in, but Seth took up a third of it. I laughed as he soaped up my head, his fingers working their magic on my scalp. He washed it thoroughly, even taking the time to help me condition my wavy mess of hair. When the last remnants of the conditioner had been rinsed, I smiled as I felt my hair being pushed to one side. He placed his lips on the base of my neck where my neck met my shoulder, kissing me there. Kissing turned to sucking, and I found myself wishing he would give me a hickey. I opened my eyes, slightly shocked at the thought. I had always thought that it was a juvenile way of marking someone with stupidity. But now…I wanted him to mark me. It made me think wild, uninhibited thoughts about being his and letting everyone around us know. I felt instantly stupid for wanting him to do that, but I couldn't help but hope that I could see a mark from tonight. I never wanted to forget tonight.

His hands found their way around to the front of my body as he stood behind me, kissing and sucking at my neck and shoulder. I felt my knees start to go weak, and I wasn't sure I could stand much longer if he kept up what he was doing.

"Seth…" I heard myself moan as his hands reached in front of me, encasing my breasts firmly. He squeezed slightly, and then moved one hand down to my already aching center. I was already wet again and aching for release so bad that I felt greedy for wanting him so badly.

I heard him groan with approval as his fingers swiped along my center, feeling the result of his teasing.

"Did I do this to you?" he asked innocently; know all too well the answer.

"You know you did," I mumbled, feeling my eyes droop closed as he slipped a finger inside my folds. "Uhh…" I whimpered. His free hand gripped me around my stomach as he knees began to weaken even more.

"I…I…" I stuttered, "I have to…sit down or...I'll fall," I said shakily, sucking in a breath of the hot air around us. I was starting to get dizzy, but I didn't want to admit it; I didn't want this to stop. I was worried that if this came careening to a halt now, I would explode. I wanted more.

"Commere," I heard him mumble. I turned around to see him take a few steps back so that he was against the other wall. There was a seat built into the shower, and I watched him sit down on it. He pulled me into his lap, my legs resting on either side of his thighs, his thick arousal nestled between us. I looked at him through the steam of the shower and bit my lip. Raising myself up enough, I brought my lips up to his and practically assaulted him. My tongue probed against his lips and he opened his mouth to welcome me, allowing me to taste him.

"Oh god Regan," he murmured between kisses. Hearing my name come from his mouth like that…filled with so much need and lust…it drove me to the brink of welcomed insanity.

"I…I need you," I mumbled into his mouth before sinking my center down onto his stiff flesh. We both cried out in sheer exultation as I pushed myself down against him, joining our bodies again. It was a rush that I welcomed gladly. Seth's hands trailed from my neck, down to my breasts, massaging me as I let my body adjust to his size. This was completely new; I had never been on top and in charge before. That combined with the heat of the shower was enough to make me lose my mind, but in the best way possible.

"Oh," I gasped as his mouth found my nipple. My head fell back without my permission as one of his hands moved to cup my bottom, the other still palming breast. When I finally got myself together enough to move on top of him, I knew I would need help if I didn't want to pass out. I grabbed one of his hands, sliding it down to my waist to guide me. He knew what I needed, and his fingers gripped my hip and helped me move on top of him. It was almost second nature to be with him like this, and my body knew what to do after a few strokes. I rose up and down in a steady rhythm, letting myself relax and enjoy the feeling of our bodies moving in synch. Seth continued to kiss and suck at my pointed peaks, making me gasp and whimper each time. The water poured down on us, coating us in warmth as we moved together in perfect sync.

Soon the heat and our grinding bodies brought us both to the edge and over. I collapsed into his chest, an exhausted giggle leaving my lips as I tried to catch my breath. He playfully bit my shoulder, his eyes hazy as he looked up at me.

"So hot," he muttered, reaching up to brush a wet strand of hair from my forehead.

We rinsed off and got out, wrapping in large towels from the linen closet. "Hey…stay," he pleaded. "Tell Claire I'll drop you off at her place early tomorrow."

I paused as I toweled off my hair. "Stay here?"

He nodded.

I glanced at myself in the mirror, then at the way he was looking at me for my answer. I could tell he wanted me to stay, and I couldn't deny that I wanted to as well. I nodded and accepted his phone as he picked it up off the bathroom counter and handed it to me.

"Claire will kill me, but…."

"Oh come on. She's with Quil. We both know they're busy."

"I guess. It's alright though; I don't feel bad giving them another night together. I can't forget the fact that he doesn't get to go to Seattle with her."

"Poor guy. It's gonna be a long four years."

"I thought you told him they would be over before he knew it?"

Seth smirked as he removed the towel from around his waist and used it to dry his shaggy black hair. I looked away from his reflection in the mirror and tried not to stare at his Adonis-like appearance. Water was still sliding down his torso and elsewhere, and it was hard to look away from something like that. How I managed I'm not sure.

"You're sure you want me to stay?"

He stopped drying his hair and wrapped the towel around his waist. Walking up behind me, he pulled me against his chest and put his chin on top of my wet head. I could feel the water droplets sliding down his chiseled stomach. "I always want you to stay, Regs. Please?"

I agreed and quickly used Seth's phone to text Claire to tell her I wouldn't be coming back to her house that night. Her parents were gone and probably wouldn't notice I hadn't returned, and I'm sure she was busy doing something else. By the lack of response I would be willing to bet it was Quil.

"So you're staying?"

I nodded and grinned at him in the mirror. Seth smirked and hugged me closer, placing a lingering kiss on my neck. "Esme's got clothes you can have," he said happily, pointing to the closet. "And there's toiletries in there."

I found everything I needed in the drawers of his bathroom - and while I should have found that strange, it wasn't. It was comforting. Esme had left behind all of her things for Seth to live in her house, and I was touched that she would be so open to letting me use them.

I combed my hair and tried to dry it slightly. My pale skin was flushed with excitement as I stood in front of the large mirror, combing out my hair with the towel wrapped tightly around me. I never wanted to return to my empty room at Sue and Charlie's after tonight; it would just seem empty. Pushing the thought of tomorrow from my mind, I happily combed through all the snarls and tangles before walking into the bedroom. Seth stood in the walk-in closet, rooting through Esme's clothes in his towel. I resisted the urge to rip it off and gape at his tan behind.

"She's probably never even worn half of these. They don't…smell funny to you, do they?" he asked, holding out a silky looking tank top. I took the garment and sniffed carefully, watching his face.

It smelled like chamomile tea and the roses Seth had given me on my seventeenth birthday. "It's smells really good," I said giving him a funny look. He smiled, shaking his head.

"Well in that case, pick out anything you want to wear," he said as he moved a towel over his wet hair. "They really don't smell funny?"

"No," laughed. "I told you, they smell nice. The Cullens…smell like everything good to me. You know? Like Lexi smells like…like kinda citrusy. And Rosalie smells like….well, kinda like Roses and…and lavender."

Seth wrinkled up his nose. I laughed and asked "I'm guessing they don't smell that way to you?"

"No, like I said….they smell like…like burnt frosting mixed with vinegar. They definitely have a scent; I guess I'm just used to it."

I bit back a laugh as I sniffed the clothes again. I guess I would just have to get used to living halfway between real life and a fairytale. I watched him gracefully step into a pair of boxer briefs.

"You wear underwear to bed? Claire said Quil sleeps naked."

Seth looked away quickly, biting his lip. "I do. But….I knew I was going to have company tonight," he said, his brown eyes sparkling as he fought a smile.

I blushed, grinning at him as I gripped the satiny shirt in my hand. "What if I want you naked?"

His mouth twitched. "That can be arranged."

"Just a suggestion," I countered, pushing past him to his side of the closet. I ran my hands along the random shirts and neatly folded pants, inhaling deeply. It smelled like Seth. I grinned as I realized I would never have to be without that scent surrounding me – soon enough, he would be mine forever. Suddenly, I didn't want to wear Esme's clothes. Reaching up, I began feeling for the softest shirt I could find.

"What are you…." he trailed off, watching as I rooted through his clothes. I ended up with a flannel, button down shirt and a pair of his boxers.

"I don't want Esme's pajamas."

"Oh god, you're kidding me," he said as I finished pulling them on. I left the top two buttons undone, just the top of my cleavage pocking out.

"What?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"I will honestly never look at flannel the same way ever again," he mumbled, staring down at me.

"Good," I replied, throwing my arms around his neck. I could barely reach to even touch my fingers together behind his neck, and he laughed.

"I'm a giant."

"You're my giant."

"Right you are," he replied, bending down. I jumped up, letting him hold me against him tightly as he walked to the bedroom. How he managed to kiss me and walk backwards while holding me must have been a wolf thing. I wasn't about to complain. I could already feel the familiar lusty feeling forming in my belly again as I fell back onto the soft duvet. Seth followed, pinning me playfully against the softness of the bed. He growled, pausing to chuckle as he kissed down my collarbone. I smiled up at the pale white ceiling as I held him against me. I felt wetness pool between my legs and silently wondered how I could suddenly need him again so soon. Judging by the flash of his dark eyes in the dim light, he smelled it.

Seth suddenly smiled his boyish smile down at me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You know you're it for me, right?"

I nodded. "It's still nice to hear, after everything."

He bobbed his head in agreement. "I'm happy that you're finally here…with me."

I reached up, running the tip of my finger against his strong jawline. He swallowed hard, staring down at me. "Love you," I whispered.

"Love you," he echoed back. I smiled and wove my hands in his inky locks, pulling him down to kiss me. He obeyed, pressing his mouth to mind in a sweet kiss. I moved my lips effortlessly against his, opening my mouth and deepening our union. His tongue stroked and caressed mine, effectively making my body break out in goose bumps again. Desire pulsed through my veins, and I selfishly needed more. He understood before I had to speak. Would he always know me so well? Would he always know what my body wanted, even before I could say it?

"I want you too," he whispered against my collarbone, his voice shaky. I nodded silently, my free hand fumbling at the flannel shirt's buttons. The boxer briefs were flung across the room, along with his boxers that I wore and the flannel.

"Seth," I groaned, my arms circling his torso. I pulled as his warm body, aching to have him closer. He obliged, and soon we were joined again. I gasped as he pushed into my awaiting warmth. He filled me to the hilt, groaning into my ear with a hot breath of air.

"Shit…I….this will never get old," he chuckled breathily.

I giggled against his cheek, my hands weaving into his hair again. He nuzzled my cheek as he pulled his hips back and snapped them suddenly forward. We both gasped at the sensation, our bodies jarred with pleasure. His fingertips dug into my sides as he held my hips prisoner while his body grinded deliciously against mine.

Fuck me…

I wound my fingers deeper in his hair as he kissed down my collar bone and chest. Our bodies were pressed so tightly together that we felt like one. It was hot, tender, and so completely wonderful my mind was reeling.

This was what I had to get used to for the rest of my life.

This feeling, this delicious fire that had been wound between us was something I never wanted to let go.

This was my future.

The feeling ricocheted off my insides as he thrust against me again and again, slower and slower. Turning my head, my eyes met his and I felt my insides turn to molten lava. His eyes were dark and dilated with lust, hooded and full of emotion. I inhaled sharply as his intense gaze burned through me.

"I've waited a long time for you."

"I know."

Those words seemed to ignite and even hotter fire between us. His hands were suddenly everywhere, caressing, stroking, and claiming. I listened as he ran the tip of his nose across the skin of my chest, pausing his movements below. He inhaled deeply as if he was memorizing everything about this moment. Up and up he came, until his face was even with mine. He pressed a deep kiss to my lips, the heat between us searing. He broke away, his chest rising and falling with a few labored breaths.

"You'll never leave?"

I shook my head and touched his cheek. "Never."

We stared at the ceiling afterwards, our arms and legs wound together. The sheets were in a tangled heap at the foot of the bed, and the room was heavy with sweat and sex and heat. I grinned up at the white above me, turning to look at him. Seth seemed to glow against the white sheets as he tried to steady his breathing. What had started out as the slowest, most sensual tryst of my life had become something so frantic and needy I had nearly fainted. Between the heat of his body, the thoughts in my mind, and the promise of the future hanging in the air I felt a little woozy. But woozy in a good way.

"I like that," I manage to babble, still breathless and panting. "I'm not sure what to call it. Wolfy, hot, lovin'."

Seth turns his head on the mattress to look at me. "Yeah? Well good. Consider me your wolfy sex slave til we die."

I turned my head and looked at him. "Are you ever sorry I'm not immortal too?"

He snorted, shaking his head. "No. You're perfect. I waited forever for you, I told you that. I wouldn't change a thing."

"You're sure?"

"Of course. You're sure you don't spending the rest of your life with a shape shifting wolf?"

"No. I really don't. I get to live in my own little fairytale."

"Usually those have things like unicorns and fairies….not werewolves and vampires."

I laughed and lean up on my elbow beside him. "Yes, but I have to take what I can get, Seth. Besides….werewolves and vampires are way more kickass than unicorns and fairies."

He smirked and pulled my free hand onto his bare chest. Heat radiated through from his skin to mine, and I smiled. "You really don't care?"

"No. My boyfriend is a wolf, and one of my best friends is a vampire….it's kinda cool. Two years ago I was just this….lost little teen in Phoenix that was going nowhere fast. I was lost. Now I'm here in Forks, I'm this….woman with goals and ambitions and somewhat of a plan. Oh, and supernatural friends that will outlive me. I'm living in my own fairytale – I promise, that's how I see it. "

"You promise?"

"I promise."

I tied my hair up in a high ponytail and adjusted the straps on my tank top. It's going to be a hot day in Forks, and the tiny upstairs bedroom where I've been living the past few years is the hottest room in the house by far. I've been procrastinating packing up my room for weeks now; with a sigh, I begin peeling down the posters and pictures I want to take with me. I know I'll be home for the holidays, but I'll redecorate it then.

I pile my clothes into Sue's biggest suitcase, pushing and shoving to make them all fit. Once they're packed, I add them to the growing pile of stuff to take the next day. The area at the top of Charlie's steps looks like a Bed Bath & Beyond store exploded on it, but he hasn't done anything but grunt at it so far. I smirked to myself as I walked back into my room.

"What else?" I mutter. I walked over to the dresser where a majority of my picture frames sit and scan them. There are a few of me and Seth – okay, most of them are of me and Seth. Then there are a few of Claire, human Lexi, and one of me and Charlie at graduation. I picked up the picture of last year's prom with Lexi while she was still human and carefully remove the back plate of the frame. Stowed away in the secret place is an almost identical picture taken just a few months ago. A new version of my friend stares back at me; pale skin, amber eyes, and an intensified beauty that makes me slightly jealous. If I thought my life had changed a lot the past few years, it was nothing compared to hers.

I stare at the picture for a while. I almost can't believe her story myself, and I was even a witness to most of it. I swallow the lump in my throat as I compare the two photographs; it's the only one I'm allowed to have of her since she is technically still missing. I thought about her life and what had happened to her almost every day – it's served as a constant reminder that I need to live life to the fullest while I still can – I can never know what would happen.

When I asked Seth what was in store for her for the future, he told me he didn't know. I didn't doubt his answer.

The past two years sit on my dresser as a reminder of how far I've come. It's no coincidence that there are no pictures from my home in Arizona on this dresser; that life is behind me. I've embraced the idea of living in a rainy, moss covered, fairytale-eque life. I scoop them all up and place them on my bed to bubble wrap later.

As if on cue, Charlie plods up the steps. I smile to myself as I listen to his footsteps – I can always hear him coming. He pauses in the doorway and sighs loudly, the frame creaking as he leans on it. "You about packed?"

I turn and grin at him as he stands there, looking awkward and out of place. I can tell he doesn't know what to say – he has that lost look in his brown eyes that warms my heart. "Yeah, about," I replied. "Just finishing up."

"I'll drive up tomorrow after you get settled and help you get organized if you want. Maybe we can grab some dinner at this college of yours."

"I'd like that Charlie," I said, nodding. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with emotions as I stare at the man that took me in two years ago, no questions asked. I was a different person then, and he still loved me and tried his best to help me along. I had been so lost then – he could have easily turned his back on my like my mother had.

But he didn't.

I place the last picture frame on my bed and walk over to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me, hugging him tightly. "I'll miss you Charlie."

He gasps lightly before hugging me back and I know that I've shocked him. I let him go and give him an encouraging nod. "I really will."

I see tears forming in his deep brown eyes before he clears his throat and shifts in the doorway. "I know kid. I'll miss you too."

Stepping back, I gesture to my room and sigh. "I'll miss this place too."

He's quiet for a moment, thinking to himself before he speaks. "You can always come back. If college isn't what you thought, or you don't feel safe, or….or heaven forbid this 'Seth' thing doesn't work out…"

"It will," I reassure him, "but I know I can always come home."

He nodded again, his brown eyes igniting as I said the words he wanted to hear. "You're right. You can always come home. Remember that."

"I will. I won't forget it. Besides…this place is too special to me. I'll always gravitate back, I think."

"People do."

"Yeah. Well….I'll miss it when I'm gone. But I'll be back for fall break in October."

"October feels like a long ways away," he admitted. "Your mom called again."

My mother had called the day before, wanting to 'catch up'. I shook my head at the thought, her flighty voice ringing in my head as I recalled our conversation. When I was less than willing to be chatty, she had tearfully pled for me to please talk to her and forgive her. I told her I forgave her; her practically shoving me onto a plane to Forks was the one responsible thing she had done for me. Without knowing it, she had given me a new shot at life. As sad as her pleas had made me, I had made peace with the idea that I had pretty much said all I had to say to her: "Thanks for the plane ticket, mom."

"I'll call her back…..someday," I sighed. "I think I said all I needed to."

Charlie sighed. "You know that's not your fault, right?'

I nodded, picking up another duffel bag to pack. I tossed it on the bed and looked up at him in the doorway. "I know. She's always been a mess. Aunt Renee is the same way."

"Renee is….well she was….pretty um…yeah. Messy. But she got herself together when she had Bells. Well a little bit anyway. She was always kinda all over the place."

I snorted. "That doesn't even begin to describe my mother, Charlie."

"Right. I know. But it's in their blood. They get restless before too long and move onto the next thing to keep them busy. Then…they tire of that. And then it starts all over again."

"Most people don't get sick of children."

"Right," he agrees. "But either way, I…I'm sorry things ended the way they did with your mom."

I shrugged. "I'll talk to her when I'm ready. That won't be soon. She was….so shocked when I told her I was going to college. Like she couldn't believe it. But how would she? I was a different person back in Phoenix."

"You're past all that. But I got you something. Something for school."

He digs into the pocket of his worn flannel shirt and produced a pink carton of pepper spray and handed it to me. It has an emergency whistle too, and a loop to add it to my key ring. I sighed and gave him the best smile I could muster.

"Um…thanks, Charlie, gosh, this is….great."

Charlie raises an eyebrow and gives me a skeptical look before he chuckled to himself and shook his head. "Same look on your face that Bells had when I gave her hers."

"I don't-"

"Just take it. Make this old guy feel safe, okay?"

I snorted. "Quit referring to yourself as old, okay?"

"Take the pepper spray, okay?"

I frowned and jammed it into the pocket of my purse. "Deal."

He grinned to himself and fished something else out of his pocket. "Here's something else too."

He handed me a shiny piece of plastic that I accepted with wonder. "A credit card?"

He nodded. "Bells never…she got married instead of doing the college thing. Which is fine, but….I had some money lying around that I had set aside for her that she never used. Feels good to use it for college."

"But what is this?"

He shrugged. "Just use it for food, books, whatever. Want to make sure you have everything you need. Within a limit."

I nodded. "Right. But…Charlie, I can't just-"

"No, now look. It only as a limit of a couple thousand dollars, but it would be enough to get you what you need if you're ever in a jam and need something. Just take it, it's for emergencies."

My eyebrows shot up my head as I watched him shove the card at me again. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. Within limits. Just take it and use it for things you need. If it's reasonable, I'll foot the bill."

I gasped and accepted the card with my name on it. "I guess I might need it. Oh Charlie…" I sighed, shaking my head. It was too much. All of this – letting me live there, footing the bill, helping me pay for college….Charlie Swan was a superhero all of his own. He didn't even know it. I sighed and jammed my hands into the pockets of my jeans and stare at him. "I appreciate it, Charlie."

"What's that?"

I pause and gesture to my room. "Everything. Letting me come here. You, taking me in and whipping me into shape. I was….not going to go far, before I came to Forks. I was going down a bad road and….and I feel like I somehow got a second chance at life. I wouldn't have gotten that without you. And now I'm going to college, and….and I appreciate everything. I really do."

He smiled at me and pursed his lips. "You woulda figured things out. Didn't need Forks for that."

"No," I agree, "But it helped. I'm glad I came here to live with you and Sue. I think of you as….well…I think of you as the dad I never had. Is that alright?"

I watch as Charlie bit his lower lip and stared at me, visibly struggling not to show any emotion. His brown eyes shined as he sucked in a quiet breath. "Of course kid. Of course that's alright. Yeah."

"Well I do. So thank you. I guess what I'm trying to say is….I'm glad I came to Forks. I'm glad I got to get to know you and live with you and….yeah. I'm just happy."

He grinned. "Visit often, will ya? This old man will miss you."

I don't hesitate to throw myself into his arms. Charlie Swan is the father I never had.

I toss the rug onto the floor my dorm room, attempting to make it more homey. Claire had just left to go back to Forks for another load of her stuff with Quil¸ and I was with Seth in my new dorm room that I shared with her. I was trying to get all of my things in place before she got back and took over the place with all of her crap, but I wasn't getting far. Seth looked around with his hands in his pockets, looking extremely tall and out of place.

"You're sure you'll be alright here? I've heard awful things about the showers."

I grinned and brushed my hair out of my eyes. I knew he wanted me to go and live with him in his apartment, but I wanted to be on my own for at least a little while. I wanted to experience college the way it was meant to be experienced – broke, in the dorms, and on my own for the first time. College was the last thing I wanted to do before handing my life over to be with someone supernatural for the rest of my life. I knew Seth supported my decision, but that didn't mean he still wouldn't good naturedly give me a hard time about it.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. And if I'm not, my boyfriend lives in an apartment five miles away from campus," I assure him with a grin.

He laughed to himself and looks around again. "Boyfriend," he muttered to himself, as if he still can't believe it.

"Yes, I'll be fine Seth. Let me do this," I pleaded, shuffling over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my head on his chest as I stared up at him. "I'll be fine," I repeated.

"I know," he replied, fluffing my hair. "But it's still a big step. I'll be worried for four years."

"Yes, and then I'm all yours."

"All mine? Well then…" he grinned, leaning down to kiss me. I closed my eyes as his soft, warm lips cascaded down onto mine, pulling me away from everything around me. This was my time. This was my chance to shine and show myself that I really could do it. I could succeed in life.

"I'm just a little envious. You get to go to real college."

"After this though, we're going to do everything together. I just need this one last thing."

He sighed, squeezing me tighter. "I know. I'm so happy you get to do it. Amidst all this crazy, unbelievable drama…you get to do something normal."

I laughed into his chest. "Well, I figure one last normal thing before I come back to Forks and live a crazy, unbelievable life with werewolves and vampires and…well, who knows what else."

He chuckled. "Let's just hope that's all there is."

"Right," I agreed. "But either way, I'll be ready."

He's quiet for a moment, contemplating my words. "I've waited a long time for you," he said again, echoing his words from earlier that summer.

"I know. But all that waiting is behind is. We have each other. We can only move forward now."

He sighed, kissing the top of my head. "I know. But….I'd wait forever for you, you know that?"

"You almost did."

"Right. Well….I'm glad you want to do this. I really am. I wish…"

"-Don't do that. Don't wish. We're getting our happily ever after Seth….we will."

"I know."

"I….I want to check this off my bucket list. I want to go to college. I never thought I would, and now that I'm here….I'm determined to make it. I have to go."

He stared down at me, his boyish gaze warming me. "You really want to do this, don't you?"

"Yes," I insisted, "I want to do it for me. And for…for Lexi. She can't go to college and I want to make sure I do her proud. Maybe it will inspire her to go someday. If I can go, jeez….she can definitely go once she gets her thirst under control."

Seth chuckled and hugged me against his chest. "I think going for yourself and for Lexi is an amazing thing. You've really become a great woman these past few years, you know that?"

I shrugged and pulled away. "Maybe. But I want to do this. Maybe it's just to prove a point, maybe it's not. Either way, I'll leave here with a degree, right?"

He nodded. "Right. "So….what are you going to major in, college girl?"

I smiled and picked up a photo album, flipping through the pages. I see the past few years pass by in a blur, ending with a picture of me in front of Charlie's house that was taken just days ago. I look happy.

And, I realize….I am happy.

"English," I said, giving him a grin. "Er….writing."

Seth raised his eyebrows, giving me a skeptical look. "I didn't know you had a flair for writing. I've never even seen you write."

I shrugged and gave him a known grin. "Well…I used to be really good at it in high school and…I've always liked it. I think I might try it out. I can always change, but….I think I'll be pretty good at it."

He nods supportively, reaching out to grasp my hand in his. "What ah….what do you think you'll write about?"

I looked up at him and find myself smiling his infectious smile that makes my heart happy. "Fiction," I said firmly. "Just fiction."

"Fiction?"

"Yes. I um…I think I'd have a pretty good story to tell."

Seth smiled his trademark smile and nods at me. "Somehow…I think you would too."


	55. Chapter 55

Epilogue: Time

SETH

I was twenty three when I stopped looking for my imprint.

I was twenty seven when she found me.

It would be years after that until we were able to live together and love the way we were meant to, but that didn't change anything for me. Not by a long shot.

She was worth the wait.

And now, on her twenty seventh birthday, I am preparing myself to phase for the last time. I stand in the backyard in the cool grass that is now littered with leaves, breathing deeply. Part of me is sad that I will never get to run off and phase again. But yet…I'm not sad. Instead of running off to fight vampires, I'll get to stay here with Regan.

I can live the rest of my life – really live – and never have to leave her side again. She would never have to fear for my safety or wonder if I've been hurt. I'll never have to leave in the middle of something because Jacob summoned my help. I would never have to wonder if my next fight would take a turn for the worse and be my last. I would miss phasing, but some of it I was happy to leave behind. It was a sad trade, but a happy one at the same time. My time as a phasing wolf might be over, but my life with Regan was just beginning.

"It's time," I muttered to myself.

'Time' is a funny word. It's something I've had so much of for so many years and yet now I feel like I would do anything to slow it down. Enough time has gone by that I know it's the right place to move on.

Some things have changed, some haven't.

I still send her pink roses on her birthday with no note.

She still blushes when I suggest we do it in my new truck.

We still sneak off to kiss in her old bedroom at holidays.

Charlie still gives me a frown if I kiss her in front of him. I know he doesn't mean anything by it, but I still enjoy it.

I followed Regan to college and I think it's safe to say we had the best four years of our lives. We got to be together without anyone giving us disapproving looks or wonder what a local cop was doing hanging out with a recent high school graduate. No one but Claire and Quil knew us in Seattle, and in many ways – we got a do-over. I worked for the Seattle PD, she got her Bachelor's in English, and we grew back together in an entirely different way.

This time, we were adults. Everything that used to be forbidden was now allowed.

It took some adjusting – we occasionally had fights and spats and times when we drove each other crazy, but we always found our way back to each other before nightfall. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't hold a grudge or just that we loved each other too much. I don't know what it was; maybe she just couldn't' stay angry with me. Or maybe it was because she was my imprint and we belonged together.

But either way, we made it through her college years and I couldn't have been happier. After her small graduation party, I dropped to one knee and purposed, right there in Sue and Charlie's kitchen, right in front of them.

(Flashback)

"Ready?" I asked, picking up the last box. Regan nodded at me, tucking her diploma into her large purse. She had graduated from college that morning, and we had just picked up the last of her things at her apartment. I had emptied my own the week before, and I had moved all my things back to Forks to get settled for her return. Her engagement ring was currently burning a hole in my right pocket, and we were due for dinner at Charlie and Sue's at six.

I followed with the last box as she bounded down the front steps of the building, pausing to admire the rare beautiful spring day we were having. I couldn't have planned it better myself.

We drove back to Forks on the familiar route, the windows down and upbeat music blasting. The ride was shorter than usual; but then again, I spent most of it planning what I was going to say to purpose later that night. By the time we pulled up to the Cullens old house I was so nervous I was shaking.

"Home sweet home."

I turned and looked at her, giving her a grin. "You ready to call this place home?"

She bobbed her head and leaned over the seat, planting a firm kiss on my lips. "I'm ready. I've been ready for years!" she exclaimed. "Now let's go!"

We went inside and barely made it into the doorway before she pounced on me. I guess the thrill of having the house all to ourselves and finally getting to live together was a little too much. Or just right, depending on which way you looked at it. We were a flurry of clothes flying and roaming hands right there on the foyer floor.

"We're going to be late for dinner," I laughed as she straddled me.

Her green eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "I know. But I'll risk it."

I laughed and pulled her down to kiss me as she unhooked her bra.

Looking at her at dinner was of course difficult. Her cheeks would turn slightly pink every time she looked my way, and I'm sure my hair was sticking up in all directions. But that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the ring in my pocket and the girl I was about to give it to.

It took me awhile to muster up the courage. Originally I had planned to do it before dinner….then during...then after. But I couldn't seem to get the timing right. Regan was drying dishes with my mom, Charlie was still working on his plate, and I was fumbling around by doorway, trying to act busy.

Finally, I gave up and just pulled out the ring and got down on one knee. My mom saw what I was doing and quickly tapped Regan's shoulder. "Um…you should turn around."

Regan did, her eyes darting around the kitchen for a few seconds before realizing I was on the floor in front of her. She gasped when she realized what was happening and her green eyes went wide. "Seth!"

I took a shaky breath and spit it out. "Will you marry me?"

Charlie was the first to congratulate us.

The old man had changed his tune completely since the day he had decked me in the jaw. In fact, by the time he walked Regan down the aisle that fall, he was so happy to hand her off to me a tear slipped from his eye.

I grinned like a jackass the entire morning before my wedding, and by the time I saw her at the end of the aisle I didn't think I could smile any bigger. My entire pack, family, and a slew of vampire friends watched as Charlie handed me the most beautiful woman my eyes would ever see.

We had made it through her teen years, through high school, college, and everything in-between. Now there we were, looking at each other on an altar.

I was finally happy.

I glanced around the backyard of our home, trying my hardest not to be sad that this was the end of my days as a wolf. I had always thought of my ability to phase as a special gift. It was something my father had passed on to me through his genes, and it was something that made me feel connected to him and our heritage. I felt like I was losing a little piece of that today, but I didn't want to dwell on it. This was a good thing.

My eyes swept over the back of the house, waiting for Regan. We had lived in the Cullen house for almost a year after getting married. The Cullens had moved across the country, this time to upstate New Hampshire and didn't need the house. The visited of course, and that was always great. For our first wedding anniversary, Lexi had proudly presented us with a shiny new key. I was used to the Cullens and their extravagant gifts, however, I wasn't expecting what had come next. It turns out Lexi had inherited a knack for architecture from her biological father, and together she and Esme had designed and built us a home on the La Push Reservation. It was beautiful and majestic and everything I had figured a home designed by two vampire fashionistas would be. Regan had been hesitant at first, but one step inside and she was throwing her arms around Lexi and any thoughts of not accepting the gift were thrown out the window.

Regan had fallen into the supernatural lifestyle quite well. Her husband was a shape shifter, her friends were vampires, and there was a good chance our children would someday join the pack. That last one freaked her out a bit at first, but she was coming around to it. If any of our kids did someday shift, I would be right there, ready for it to happen.

This was just going to be a new phase in my life, I reminded myself. No pun intended. I used my hearing to listen to what was going on inside the house. I knew I would never lose my keen senses, but I also knew that they were dulled once I stopped phasing. I would still run a little warm, I would still be able to heal quickly, but I would never be a wolf again.

For the first time in decades, I would start to age.

"Button up," I heard her say inside. "Good girl," she said quietly. I stood in the backyard of our cozy home, waiting for them to come outside. With a slight screech of the back door, I turned around and looked up at the back porch.

There she was.

Even after almost nine years of knowing her, she still made my heart beat a little faster each time she was around. She carefully held the hand of our little girl, who at almost three is already the keeper of my heart. I finally understood what Charlie had gone through as a father figure to both Regan and Bella – I would happily lay my life down for the little girl carefully navigating the back steps. Once they were at the bottom, I walked over to the both with a smile.

"One last time," Regan said, a twinge of sadness to her voice. I reached out, cupping her cheek with my hot hand.

"It's time," I said quietly. "I'm ready now."

Our daughter watched our exchange from the ground, her happy eyes squinting as she smiled up at us. I think that was my favorite think about my daughter – she looked like me when she smiled.

"Are you….okay with this?"

"We've talked about this Regs," I laughed. "I want to grow and change. Age with you."

She sighed skeptically. "I'm not aging that fast."

I reached over and touched her brown locks, squinting to myself. "Is that a gray hair?"

She slapped my hand away and laughed, but I could tell she was fighting some sadness. "You're sure?"

"Yeah. It's time I did this. I've got other things to worry about now," I laughed. My eyes observed the perfect angles of her small, heart shaped face. She was even more beautiful now than she was a teenager; now I can appreciate her the way I was meant to. However, my eyes do notice that she's different now; she's getting older.

"You're really sure?" she questioned quietly, her eyes flashing to the small girl at her feet. I nodded, leaning down to scoop up our daughter. She's getting bigger too; her hair is finally long enough to put into pigtails, and her baby-like features were fading. I thought back to the day when Regan told me she was coming; I thought my heart would explode with happiness. We had settled into married life and had several years to just enjoy each other when we finally tried for a baby. Regan had put her college English degree to use – she had written several wildly popular children's books about Native American cultures – and I was made Sherriff after Charlie had retired.

Life was moving along, full speed ahead. It was time I stopped being frozen and joined it whole heartedly.

"I'm sure. I want to be around more. Not have you worried when I'm gone…" I trailed off, not wanting to say 'killing vampires' in front of our three year old daughter. As if she knew I was thinking about her, she grinned up at me as I held her. I bumped my nose against hers and gave her back Regan as I gave her a knowing look.

This is it.

The rest of the pack is waiting somewhere in the woods. The boys agreed to go on one last run with me. It was a celebratory thing we always did. I realize with a twinge of sadness that I never thought it would be my turn.

Sophie watched me with alert eyes from her mother's arms. I waved at her and she gave me a knowing little smile.

I had never kept what I was from my daughter. She was old enough to know what daddy was, but also not old enough to be taken seriously if she told people I was a wolf. She knew she could talk about it with Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue and the rest of my pack, but somehow my little daughter knew no to divulge anything else to an outsider. I'm sure the memory of me phasing would be like a dream to her as she aged; one day, I would confirm it for her.

"I'm gonna do this," I told Regan, nodding. "Ready Sophie?" I asked, softly pinching her chin.

"Yeah," she chirped back, kicking at me playfully. She wriggled in Regan's arms, mirroring my grin right back at me.

That another great thing my daughter had inherited from me – she was always smiling.

"You wanna see daddy phase?"

She nodded, chewing on the end of her bright pink sweatshirt. I gave my wife a nod and stepped back as the two of us shared a knowing look. This was the end of an era for us.

I had phased in front of Sophie several times when she was a child, so this was nothing really new. I would stand in the backyard in my oldest pair of sweatpants and morph into a giant wolf and my daughter would clap and laugh gleefully as the shards of destroyed cotton fluttered to the ground. She knew what I was, and she was delighted with it.

"Last time," I said to my wife with a shrug and a wink.

Regan stood back, balancing Sophie, or Sophia on her hip. I saw her grinning as Regan bit her lip, trying not to cry.

"One last run, then I'm done. Be home in a few hours. I love you," I said.

"I love you too. Goofball," Regan sniffed. Sophie gave her mother a skeptical look before turning back to watch me.

As I burst into wolf form for the final time, I let myself enjoy it. When my paws hit the ground, Sophie squealed from the porch and clapped with approval. Regan sniffed and burst into tears.

"Hurry home," she whispered, hugging our daughter.

I met her gaze and nodded. I would enjoy this one last time, and then I would indeed hurry home as she had requested. The rest of my life was waiting for me.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to let everyone know I am donating a LTP one shot (Honeymoon!) to the Stories4Animals fundraiser. Go to the link on my profile to read more. Be sure to check that out and donate and get the LTP bonus chapter/Honeymoon special titled 'Finally'.
> 
> A big thank you to ElvenIvy for stepping in and helping beta this story! She was a huge, wonderful help and I couldn't have done it without her : )
> 
> Not gonna lie, I'm totally sitting here crying happy tears. This was a wonderful two and a half year journey for me to write this story, and I appreciate all the love and support it has been given over the years. Thank you all.
> 
> Please review! I would love to hear your thoughts on the final installment. It would mean a lot to me to hear from all of you! Thank you!


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